OO Column: Crashing the Boards (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

CRASHING THE BOARDS
The Great Diversity Hoagie — Love That Luger! —
Triple GaHHHme-HHHate — WWE Live! —
MotherCanuckers Strike Again! — Who Learned
You How To Spoke Good? — More "Poor Booker's
Almanac" — Liz, in Brief — IC Battle Royally DUMB! —
I INVENTED Internet Columns! — Bore a Hole Directly
in My Skull, Fill with Ants, Have a Beer — And
Less Is Not Fewer!
May 9, 2003

by YOU, The OO Readers
Compiled by Jeb Lund from the OO Message Boards

[Crashing the Boards returns with another heaping bowlful of hot buttered goat clusters — of Debate! Although the boards have experienced some tough changes, with some forums disappearing and others being moved about, posters have taken it all in stride. Somehow, these ideas escaped the tremendous gravity well of apathy generated by the Great Heavenly Clique Ego. Apparently, the nWo is still going to kill the WWE, but it's going to work its way up from message boards, to sites, to OVW, to road managers and later to the production crew and wrestlers. So, you heard it here: fight the good fight. Talk about someone else! And everything! — ed.]

Does Location Diversity Increase Ticket Sales? Are You Going to Finish that Sandwich?
Okay, we all know that rating are meaningless. But you have to stop and think about this: if the ratings for RAW are those of the highest cable TV show, is it fair to say that the WWE is doing a bad job? The RAW show in Halifax has all ready sold out. In fact shows in most places are doing decent numbers.

I think people are so messed up in the IWC because everybody jumped on the bandwagon when everything was clicking. When you look at things, you can see that the WWE gets strong ratings, has a very marketable brand, and does very well in ticket and merchandise sales.

About the only issue they have is not going to enough different places. If all the WWE did was go to places that had NBA or NHL teams, then they would be forgetting major college areas, and places like Halifax where they do have strong fanbases. If the WWE stayed away from places like Toronto, Boston, NY, Philly, Tampa, and LA more and tried to keep it so that no location gets more then 2 events in a year, you'd likely see ticket sales go up even more, as the events would become "must see" and not just another swing through the area.
— bigfatgoalie

One of the biggest reasons WCW rose from obscurity and caught up with the WWE in popularity was that they were holding shows in the places WWE was not. The WWE has held a grand total of four shows in the Raleigh-Durham area since I moved here in 1997. And they did not start coming here until the new arena opened three years ago.

WCW went to places that WWE would never touch, and they usually drew pretty good crowds. I also noticed that WCW seemed to focus a lot on the college towns. WWE split the rosters and doubled the number of house shows per year, but every time I see advertising for upcoming shows, they are hitting the same spots every three or four months. Maybe the reason house-show numbers have been lagging is because they hit the same spots too often. Tickets and souvenirs are not cheap, and people can't afford to go every time they are in town, and it is not that big of a deal if they come around so often.

I understand wanting to have the tapings and PPVs in the larger markets, it makes sense. But the next PPV is in Charlotte in 2 1/2 weeks, and we are not even getting a house show here in Raleigh, which is only 3 hours away. They recently did a RAW in Richmond, which is only 2 hours from here, and we did not get a show then either. I just wish they would look at holding more shows in some of the secondary markets. I love going to the shows, but I don't enjoy having to drive two or three hours to get there.
— doublee

The number of house shows has pretty much doubled, but they aren't getting the same sort of attendance at these shows for a lot of reasons:
1. Wrestling just isn't as popular a form of entertainment now as it was in 1996-2000;
2. The talent on the shows is effectively diluted by the roster split;
3. People are only willing to shell out a certain amount of money on the product.

In relation to this last point, this is where the distribution of shows does matter. If you return to the same areas multiple times per year, it's hardly surprising that fans might only turn up to one of those shows. However, it's difficult for WWE to break into new markets.

At present, the higher levels of management in WWE appear to be following a low-risk strategy, both in terms of developing their audience (by keeping shows to known "hot-spots") and in the product they are putting on in the ring.
— batsnumbereleven

Triple H's "Pantene" Days Are Numbered
When I saw Trips enter the arena, I was shaking my head, saying he is a BIT TOO obvious with this [imitating] Ric Flair. (Instead of evolving Flair's character he is going back.) Damn, he looked similar to Flair in an old picture, wearing a suit with the belt in his hands. I think he better prepare himself to get booed the hell out of Charlotte. I say pull a Canada on them at the PPV. Flair should get booed for allowing this abomination of his legacy as well. Just chant "woo" all during the match to piss them off. I'm sure it would catch on rather easily.
— promoter2003

Agreed. But you know what the funny thing is? They're booking Flair as a heel going in [to Charlotte]! Pretty smart, eh?
— Froggie

When you've got Lesnar v. Big Show being booked again for PPV, Flair as a heel in Charlotte is par for the course.
— gobbledygooker

Nothing Beats the Excitement of World Wrestling Entertainment LIVE!
I just attended the Smackdown taping this week, and it was great. My roommate said it was like watching TV with the sound off because everything seemed quiet when they wrestled. But there is nothing like being in the arena with that incredibly loud pyro, the cheering fans, trying to get seen on camera with your sign, seeing Mr. America leave the ring in a snowfall of red, white, and blue confetti. And, if you ever feel "not normal" or a little out-of-place, just attend a wrestling show, and you will feel like the most normal person on the face of God's green earth. Let me tell you, the freaks come out, and not the kind of freaks that Steiner talks about, either!
— Raw Dawg

I have been to two shows in recent years. I went to a PPV in Greensboro in '98 or '99. I can't remember the exact year, but it had Kane/Taker in the first ever inferno match as the main event. I can't remember all the other matches but I know Rock, HHH, Stone Cold, Dude Love, New Age Outlaws, and Sable all had matches. I think HHH fought Rock, with Chyna suspended over the ring in a cage. And Austin went against Dude Love.

There is nothing like being there live you really get caught up in the atmosphere, and by the end of the show you find yourself cheering and booing along with everyone else. I never missed the commentary though. I find it easier to concentrate on the action without the announcers blathering on about things totally unrelated to the match.

I also went to a house show last May. The show was Saturday night before Judgment Day last year, so we got to see a lot of the match ups for the PPV. The ME was SCSA v. Big Show and Flair in a handicap steel cage match. It was great. My friend's grandmother was yelling at Stone Cold for a beer. Booker did a run-in at the end. SCSA locked him and the other two in the ring, and the crew could not find the key to get unlock the door. They were stuck in there for a good 2-3 minutes, and Show was playing it up to the crowd like he was genuinely pissed. The crew came down and unlocked the door and sprinted to the back.

The thing I remember most about the house show was that the guys really put forth the effort to make it a quality show. They would come out and work the crowd a bit. 'Taker and Goldie really got the crowd going. 'Taker got into a shouting match with some kid in the crowd, and the fans were really letting him have it. The wrestlers also put forth the effort to make sure the matches went off well also.

I had as much if not more fun at the house show than the PPV. If you get the chance, I highly recommend going to even a house show. There is no real production or skits, but the in-ring action is just as good if not better than you get on TV. There is no substitute for the atmosphere of a live show.
— doublee

I went to my first live show in ages last October, and it was great. At home, I'm tempted to get up and do something else when the matches aren't that compelling, but at a live event, every match seems more compelling. I found myself glued to a Chavo Guerrero/Shannon Moore match. I'm not knocking either guy, but that doesn't happen very often. I think it's easy to get spoiled by the faster pace of televised wrestling. For me, seeing it live was a reminder that I fell in love with wrestling, not storylines and promos. There is something very simple and beautiful about the sound of wrestlers hitting the mat in front of a hushed crowd. Plus, it really reminds you just how hard those bumps are. I highly recommend attending a live event if you haven't before. It's good for smarks (myself included) to just shut the fuck up and watch the wrestling every now and then.
— rasslinjunkie

"Look at the calves on that hulk of Canadianosity!"
Someone made a comment about Test's calf muscles in another thread, specifically on how they don't exist. While watching Raw last week my friend Chris, who doesn't watch regularly, made the same comment about Rodney Mack. He remarked that neither Test nor Mack would "get over" (my words, not his) with the crowd until they developed the muscles on the back of their legs.

I scoffed and then asked him to explain the success of wrestlers like Benoit, Eddie Guererro and Rey Mysterio. I mentioned them because they don't tend to fit the physical model of the pro-wrestling archetype, yet their popularity is undeniable. Since they're all on Smackdown Chris didn't know who I was talking about. I pointed out that he saw Benoit fight Angle at Royal Rumble, and Benoit was the one who got the standing O. Chris said that while Benoit was "shaped funny" he showed a lot of charisma in the ring and that more than made up for his physical appearance.

The whole conversation got me thinking about the importance of first impressions on a wrestler's career. By that, I mean a wrestler's look, his physical appearance, ring attire, music, etc. The significance has undoubtedly become less instrumental today as say back in pro wrestling's infancy. Yet the popularity, of some of the roster, can probably be attributed solely on that wrestler's overall look. This is true at least in the eyes of McMahon, though some of the mild pops I've heard for Nathan Jones support this.
— Blown Spot

Obviously physique plays a big part in how "over" a character is, at least initially. But who the hell pays attention to wrestler's calves?
— Laner

Solving the Great Spiritual Mystery of What Austin Will Do as a GM
SPOILER WARNING---

Austin will stunner bad guys all the time. Bischoff will make Stone Cold's day a bad one. These will alternate by week (one week, Bischoff gets Stone Cold, next week, Austin will stunner him, repeat, repeat, repeat).
— Bonestein

Thatt Guy Sure Is Soem Good Heal: He's Not Even A Preecher!!! But is Heal Harrder to Be for Wresstler, or Is Harder to JJust Be Loved??? — Presented in "Un-Edited Vision" for Your Pain
When you look at wrestling, guys either end up being a face or a heal...so what's easier???

Now obviously, it's somewhat easy to do either if you go for a cheap pop, or go for cheap heat...but what makes a guy like Randy Orton have no carisma as a face, but get over rather well thanks to RNN???

To me, a good heal is a guy who cheats, doesn't care about the fans, and who can make the crowd want to boo him. He also has to play the role of being truely evil...almost to the point where he isn't humman when it comes to coddes of morality.

A good face is somebody who inspires the crowd to cheer them on. No matter what. He (or she) is the exact oppossite of evil, and has a very visable connsious and awareness of the the results of his actions.

>From a in-ring perspective, it's easier to be the face. You start out with some offense before the heal takes over and carrries much of the early match. the face then fakes a comeback, only to have thee heal cheat to gain the advantage. the end comes with the face making a commeback and winning, or else the face making a comebacck but getting beat duee to dastardly means.

On the mic though, you can easily ssuggeest that it's easier to make people hate you then it is to make people shower you with cheers.

In the end I guesss it really comes down to the individual character, and the perception of that character. Once Brock went from Rookie Monster, to screwed over former champ, his character didn't change...but the perseption of it did. Samee with Rock...he went from being the self proclaimed people's champ, to being the ACTUAL people's champ. You can argue that the Rock's characcter didn't really chaanngee from the time he joined the nation till he lost to Brock.

So if storylines make a guy liekable or admirable, then it's hard for him to play a heal...but iff he comes off as annoying or a jerk...then being a face isdamn hard. In the end, thee real challenge is not if you can play a face or heal, but if you can convince the audience iff yoou are a good face or good heal.
— bigfatgoalie [The OO Forums' Goldust]

[Return to "Edited-Vision"]
Most rookies start by playing the blue-eye role and develop heel personae over time. But what is easier? Well, a face needs to connect with the fans in order to keep his position in the company; the heel can just be a badass/jackass. Being a dick is much easier at getting a response than being funny or nice.

Also, tradition dictates that the heel usually controls the tempo of the match, and if they constantly cut off the face's comeback during a match, they can cause faces' careers to stall. Booker/HHH anyone?

Besides that, who really wants to spend several hours a day being nice to people and signing autographs — especially when you're on the road over 250 days a year? Being a heel is easier (except at hick-town truck stops when the local idiot wants to prove how phony tough-guy 'rasslers are).
— AnglesGoldMedals

I'd guess that playing the heel is easier for most wrestlers. For a start, you tend to be less limited in what you can do. The traditional faces (as opposed to, say, Austin, who's basically a heel) are quite limited in what they can say or do, which makes it harder for them to make that connection with the crowd.

I think a lot of what makes a good face is for the crowd to simply like the wrestler, and that's probably why relatively few new wrestlers can get over as faces initially, because the crowd doesn't know them to like them.
— eoghann

Audiences usually respond best to a character who is doing something rather than reacting to something. The trouble for pro-wrestling is that, in most cases, the person doing something is the heel. The heel needs to start the feud rolling. Faces cannot start trouble and remain faces. So the heel does, the face reacts.

It's also much harder to be interesting as a face. If a heel is effective, you can boo him wholeheartedly. If he's boring, it's all the easier to dislike him. There are thousands of ways to insult a crowd but very few to compliment them. ("Hey, lady in the 3rd row, the green in your shirt really brings out the color in your eyes.") A face has to be nice without being sappy or a pushover. A face needs the audience to buy into his or her deserving to win and/or triumph. With a new wrestler, there's very incentive for the audience to give a rat's rear about him/her winning.
— Lorraine

Most of this thread concentrates on the current WWE dynamic. However, what works on the indy level also works in the "majors." If a wrestler can impress the crowd with impressive-looking offense and counter-offense, he can connect with them on a more visceral level. Fans will instinctively cheer the wrestler's ability to entertain them. (Of course, the wrestler should play to fans like he is trying to impress them, rather than for his own self-aggrandizement.)
— madiq

JR Season!
In one segment he was hired... then fired... then hired... then fired... then, well, you get the point. Question is, does this mean that he is now a 20 time employee?
— cpdevine1

"Alas, poor Booker. I popped for him, Horatio. No, not that way. Idiot."
It's no secret that lots and lots and lots of people think that Booker T deserves better than what he's received lately. He's popular; he's talented; he's got "the look," and he's made a place for himself at the top of the card. Unfortunately, for good or ill, Raw is the HHH show right now. And Triple H has his hands full in a kliqtastic feud with Nash and Michaels. Throw in a Goldberg and a Naitch, and the top of the card is beginning to look mighty crowded with Booker stuck in place.

It looks like the creative team has decided to possibly pair him up with Goldberg and throw Jericho and Christian at the duo. Goldberg is also occupied with the Angry Evil Midcarders, and Booker's involvement in this, at this point, seems kind of secondary. If the point is to use Booker to make Goldberg look strong, I can understand that. Unfortunately it doesn't do anything for Booker.

Booker has apparently gone from world-title contender to back-up performer in the course of one short week. His performance at Backlash was short and unimportant, and his subsequent match on RAW was simply a storyline tool to further get Goldberg over.

So what's a Book to do? The main-event scene is crowded, and the title scene is focused mainly on a tight group of ex-friends. Maybe what might be best for Booker is a change of scenery. If WWE really is concerned about building new superstars and raising guys up [nice pun — ed.], a move to Smackdown might be the charge that Booker needs to really give him a boost into superstardom. He doesn't fit the RAW formula as much as he used to. With Michaels, HHH, Nash, Goldberg, Austin, Flair and to an extent Jericho, you have this feeling of establishment. These are the guys that are proven top-of-the-heap guys, and Booker just doesn't fit that mold. At least not quite yet.

At Smackdown, Booker could be plugged in as a veteran guy who's never gotten his shot at the big time. He can have great matches with Angle and Benoit, as we've witnessed in the past. And his experience might help carry Lesnar to a few good title matches. In fact, Booker is the one guy who could be shuffled over to that roster who might be a convincing contender for their World Title. It elevates Booker, and gives Smackdown an entertainer who can work good matches. Of course, with the rosters "locked" this is nothing more than a daydream scenario, but I think it could potentially be a good thing for both Booker and the WWE.
— angstboy

"I'm watchin' my stories! Put the hound in the washer and shut up!"
It is my opinion that a good storyline can overcome a lot of ills in the WWE product. Not just good storylines for the champ but for all of the roster. Each and every performer should be involved in a storyline that has a beginning, a middle and an end with a payoff. The plot should play to the strengths of the particular wrestlers involved, which hopefully translates into entertainment.

I don't know much about Vince's creative staff but, from what I've seen over the past few years, change is needed. He needs to hire people who write for a living. Those he hires need to be individuals who generally write for people in the demographic that the "E" panders to. Come up with several storylines, then book your performers in each. Play the storyline to its conclusion, then insert them into your next one.

You think this is the way the E does it now? With some storylines, yes, but for the majority, I'd say no. Sure, there are circumstances that warrant the dropping of a storyline mid-run, and long-term story writing isn't viable for this business. But they can be worked around. Better storytelling is essential.

A new writing staff may be what the doctor ordered. It appears the E has writers who try to be bookers and bookers who try to write. Those jobs should be mutually exclusive. Today's audience is tired of seeing the same stuff regurgitated from years prior, and will not stand for it much longer.
— Blown Spot

IC BATTLE ROYAL! YOU GO SQUISH NOW!
I like the idea of bringing back some former champions. The company can use that to help rebuild the belt. Use the former champions trying to bring the title back to its former glory as a storyline, but have them valiantly fail against the new crop. I actually think Nash and HBK should be involved as well. I also think Triple H should be apart of it. This is where you job Triple H and make the new IC champion actually look like a threat as a #1 contender. That was the essence of the championship. Don't do a rematch between the two champions and let the legacy of the IC v. world title flourish like it did in the 80's and mid 90's.

Who should be the new champion? I actually think Booker T or Chris Jericho should become champion. These two guys should have been elevated at Mania. This can help make up for dropping their stock (Booker more so than Jericho).
— promoter2003

Even if Kane and RVD are booked with a tag title match, they could still enter IC BR, just to fill the ring. BRs aren't tremendously energy draining. Sure, we know neither would win, but then again, it's pretty safe to say Goldust and Test will be in there, and it's also pretty safe to say they won't win. Sometimes you just need guys in there for filler.

Quite frankly, I think the main story of the match is gonna be Jericho/HBK, and that just about everyone else in it should be considered filler.
— Operation Retard

Have HHH involved in the Battle Royal. Have him get in Austin's grill, saying something along the lines of, "I retired the IC belt; it's mine; I never lost it!" Austin, being the fair commish would retort: "Fine, you're in, too."

That, of course, would lead Nash to want in. This would add automatic, uh, "credibility" to the match. It would be HHH's chance to "drop" the IC belt without really losing and add value in the eyes of the average fan, because the new IC champ would have "defeated" Nash and HHH to win it.

I'm also of the belief that the IC belt should go to someone who is a worker and who can use this as a stepping stone. My choice? Christian. He's working on his gimmick as being the Rock's best friend and the "new people's champion." (THE PEEPS!) Why not follow it up with a huge upset and a push? I see his gimmick getting way over. It would also sorta add fuel to Goldberg-Christian (with Goldy looking indestructible but Christian being Rocky-slippery and never quite laying down for the 1-2-3).

Sadly, reality dictates that Christian is in line for the Jackhammer, and putting the strap on him at this point makes little sense. But, we're fantasy booking here, and I think Christian is the guy that can benefit the most right now.
— Icon

Oo oo! or better yet, nash wins the battle Royal and ERic announces that it's ANOTHER Title unification match and HHH wins and unifiys the title and Eric is all, "YEAH, IN YO FACE, BIZNATCH!" to stone cold but he doesn't like that so it's KICK!WHAM!STUNNER! to ERic and he takes the IC title and gives it to JR who becomes the greates IC champion EVERRRRRRRRR!!!
— Shastar

Sometimes, You Don't HHHate the Man; You Just Don't Care
I'd like to pose a question to the HHH haters on this board. We bitch about a lot of the things HHH does. But isn't his biggest problem the fact that he's completely horrible to watch in the ring? I mean be honest, would any of us complain about seeing him all the time if he put on consistently entertaining matches and he kept it interesting? Is his biggest problem really that he doesn't put anyone but his friends over? Is it really the backstage politics? The constant burying of people? Or is it the realization that when HHH gets into the ring he's no fun to watch?

We can wax as intellectually as any smark but it all boils down to the basest instinct of any wrestling fan: we want to enjoy watching matches. We want to see cool moves, the occasional highspots, and we all want the chance to mark out. And for me, marking out is the whole frigging point of watching wrestling. If wrestling's not gonna give me something that makes me jump out of my seat and act like I'm twelve, then why bother? So I can appreciate the workrate? I'm a Goldberg mark. Workrate means dick to me. I've seen "Classic" puroesu matches that friggin put me to sleep. But they had everything that the smarks profess to love about wresting, and I couldn't get with it at all because the vibe of the match was so dead. I mean, it was just two guys wrestling. They were wrestling really well but I was really bored.

My mindset is that pro wrestling is supposed to be entertaining, and HHH can't do that. Shawn Michaels was as bad as HHH in his day, with the backstage crap, but you'll never hear me bitch about it, because Shawn Michaels put on some of the most kick-ass matches ever. With HHH, there's no payoff at the end for all his exposure. No promise of anything except a 20 minute promo. No reward for the fans who sat through it.

We'd all like to see someone who'd put on more entertaining matches with the belt. A lot of people wanted Jericho; a lot wanted RVD; a lot wanted Booker T, because their matches are a damn sight more fun to watch than HHH's. Is there anyone who'll agree that they wouldn't have as big of a problem with HHH being in the spotlight if he was worth watching in the ring?
— Synthfiend

Kind of Smart-Assed, but Considering What Has Happened to Women in Wrestling, This Is Actually a Very Thoughtful Sentiment
Farewell, Miss Elizabeth.... I'll always think of you as the diva I never saw naked.
— abdullah

Someone Had a Bowlful of "Surlies" Castor-Oil Flakes on Monday Morning! And Someone Else Argues that Canadians Are Not Contrary Nut-Jobs. They're Regular Nut-Jobs, Like All Other Good Americans
I completely disagree with anybody and everybody who thinks that RAW was even remotely decent. That was the worst RAW since Katie Vick. I thought it had a hot opening, but after Morley got fired, it went to shit.

The "Highlight Reel" sucked the big one. Big deal, so the fans cheered Jericho. That was to be expected. They booed Nash. Ok. I didn't see the beginning of the segment as I was off getting a sandwich. But when I returned and Jericho was completely out of sight, they chanted "Diesel sucks" as he brawled with HHH. This is just a hunch, but maybe the crowd was chanting "Diesel sucks" because Nash is slow, plodding, boring, and he sucks. That shitty brawl should've been about 20 minutes shorter.

And the main event was piss poor. I liked seeing Rico. I didn't mind if he received the jackhammer. And it was a good idea to protect Christian from having his ass handed to him right away. Too bad Christian didn't give Goldberg a few more chair shots before making his exit. In any event, a dumb beer bash as our main event was a colossal waste of time.

I would have to call this RAW the worst of the year. Just because a plethora of big announcements were made doesn't mean the show was good. All of those big announcements pertain to events that have yet to take place. I'm just glad I didn't waste any money to go to RAW last night, because I would've been really pissed. I would've been cheated of a decent main event and would've had to sit through a number of dull, boring segments and matches. Let me just put it this way: when Test and Scott Steiner competed in the best match of the night, you know the show was in the shitter.
— Slade

A comment on the RAW crowd from Halifax.... People are bitching that they were pro Canadian. Has anybody ever stopped to think that this was a case off the fans being somewhat smart?

Let's start with Austin. He came out, did an entertaining segment, and got cheers. Morley, from Canada, got his ass booed because the angle was such that you could not cheer against the King. One match where there was indifference and not too much crowd heat was Steiner/Test v. RVD/Kane, even though Test is from Toronto. Why? Because these guys aren't really involved in a great program. There is potential in the Test/Steiner feud, but it's in a slow build.

Next up, let's do Lance Storm. His gimmick for the most part has always been pro-Canada and all things Canadian. To expect him to get a chorus of boos is like asking if Duggan was going to get them in the States with Old Glory slung over his shoulder. If we accept that Taker, Hogan, Duggan, The Patriot, and basically anybody else who carries an American flag is going to be a face in the states, then for the love of God, people, admit that Storm's gimmick makes him a face in Canada.

Let's move on to Christian, who stole heavily from the Rock but did so very well. Here's a guy who smarks must think is the man, not doing anything very heelish and using a gimmick that has proven to get face pops for a heel (the Rock's People's Champ gimmick), and people are surprised he gets some cheers. It's not like his pops were all that huge.

Now Jericho. He seems to get lots of cheers for his entrance regardless. His comments on Piper (a heel in case you were not paying attention) were damn funny, and so the crowd popped for this. So Jericho had two options:
1. Try to make the crowd boo him even though the TV audience was made aware that Jericho was still evil and the cheers were just Canadians being silly;
2. Play to the crowd and make sure the fans paying to see the show got to be entertained. Not a hard choice.

As for Nash, well he had a Godawful promo, and the crowd would have been dead if Jericho had not turned heel to the crowd. I think the small pops Triple H got were a combination of the normal pops he always seems to get, and the fact that Nash really sucked on thee mic.

So yeah, Storm had the cheap pop gimmick, but that's his gimmick. And yes, Jericho could have been more heelish, but the crowd was entertained, and it fits in with the WWE thinking that Canada is bizarro land. Hey, at least the crowd weren't sitting on their hands and not cheering at all.
— bigfatgoalie

Triple H Will Never Be "The Next Ric Flair" Because His "Contempt-Without-Respect" Quotient Will Always Be Higher
If our board existed in Flair's prime, Flair would be our favored son. The sad part about Flair now is he's forced to verbally blow HHH and get his ass kicked every week. No body wants to see The quintessential Skipper now play the role of lowly Gilligan.

Those who remember Ric Flair in his prime, well, know that we'd never crucify his monopoly of the World Title. Because the fact is, in every single aspect we use to judge a "great wrestler," Flair had that quality in spades.

HHH gets a lot of criticism from us, that's true. And a lot of the arguments we make against him are things that Flair did as well (booking alterations, not jobbing to certain guys, unwilling to work with some), but the real reason we're pissed at HHH is because he's not performing as well as he once did. He no longer, in our eyes, "deserves" to monopolize the time he gets. Believe me, the majority of us wouldn't mind HHH on screen for 30 minutes every week if he made for compelling and interesting television.

Flair may have had a huge political influence on the inner workings of NWA Wrestling during the 1980s and 1990s, but to call him a 1980s version of HHH? No way. The man, you will remember, put over "Hands of Stone" Ron Garvin. Let's give him some credit for that.
— Icon

Defending Your Luger
Now, I've never ever been one to defend the actions of one Larry Pfohl, but to bash the guy and deem him scum of the earth is dumb, particularly in the sport that we follow.

Drug use in WWE is a part of the culture. Even Kurt Angle admitted his neck got so bad that the only way he could sleep was if he took painkillers. Sure, he had a doc's Rx to get it, but should a person be allowed to press his body above and beyond their natural limits just because he can do so "legally" (with prescription) instead of illegally?

Guys like Benoit, Lesnar, HHH and Batista, to name a few, maintain elite-level physiques year round. Are we to believe they do so without the aid of human growth hormone? Without insulin? Testosterone? Painkillers? And yes, even anti-depressants?

Something allows these individuals to night in night out beat the living piss out of each other and come back for more. Is it desire? Yes. Is it hunger? Yes. The thrill of competition and performance? No question. Could it be that their testosterone levels are 1000 times the level a normal human being possesses? Yes.

Everything I am saying is hearsay. I am, however, familiar with the realities of today's athletes. Performance-enhancing drugs are a big part of professional sports. We all know this. To criticize and single out Lex Luger for his drug use sucks. The only difference between him and I daresay a majority of the WWE male locker room is that he had a tragedy happen in his home, which allowed cops to search his place.

How many people out there would want the cops to search their place? 420 folks out there? I know, drug abuse is terrible, and no one likes a "cheater." But if you watch WWE, and cheer Freakzilla and Aitch and Batista and, hell, even Vinny Mac, just know that bashing Lex Luger for using ergogenic drugs is kinda hypocritical.
— Icon

The bright side of Nash v. Triple H
I'm of the opinion that it's better to get it over with now. The quicker Nash can look like a fool in a singles match, the sooner it'll be that we'll never have to see him fight for a title ever again. And, who knows, if we're lucky, he might get the Scott Steiner treatment.
— Slade

If you think those two are bad workers then you should be pleased they're feuding with each other. That way they'll only spoil one match for you.
— eoghann

THIS WEEK'S STATS
Current Level of English Language Use: somewhere in the toilet.
• Posters still don't understand that people are not objects. Although not technically incorrect, saying "Booker is the guy that can win" is dehumanizing. Booker is, rather, a guy who can win. (And most people are unaware of the subtle distinction between the proper noun of Booker and the general noun of "guy" — enough so that they are not exchanging That and Who out of reverence for some crepuscular notion of actual personification versus the utile function/concept of "person" as a catch-all object. So, "Fuck you," to anyone who tries to argue this with me.) After all, a table is something that can be useful. But Booker is someone who can be useful. Try to give a little more life to humanity. I know you're all people who can do that. To me, useless people are those that are incapable of separating people and objects and/or objectifying abstractions.
• People keep mentioning someone who should "try and do" something. What do you want him to do? Do you want him to try? Is this person a lawyer? Or do you want him to do? Or do you want him to "try to do" something?
• "Less" is singular. Example: there is one less person on the boards than you would prefer. "Fewer" is plural. Example: there are two fewer people on the boards than you would prefer. I would like to see fewer dumbass illiterate mistakes on the boards, and if that means one less post in Crashing the Boards per week, I really don't give a fuck.
• This symbol "..." is an ellipsis. It is not a comma. A comma signals a change in flow, a break, a pause. The two are not interchangeable. An ellipsis signals a breaking off of the thought, the absence of further data, getting lost, etc., or a very long pause. It's remarkable how ironically fitting the ellipsis is on a message board. I was going to say something meaner... but I got distracted by the fact that an ellipsis only ends a sentence when it has four periods... uh, Phil, the plants....

Poster with the Best Comments This Week: Icon.
Poster Still MIA and Sorely Missed: Milky.
Someone Who Thought My Earlier Complaints Were Just Me Joking: operation retard...someone that cant capitalize anything other than His Name and doesnt know what apostrophes..or punctuations....or grammers...or spelling is.....
Poster Stuck in Permanent Exile by Accident: Timmy. Come back, Timmy!
Some Other Annoying Thing: Everyone spells "segue" as "segway," which makes it read like a grocery store, even if it sounds right.
A New Time-Saver I've Discovered: I'm no longer going to include great ideas that are abusively presented. You could divine the nature of God in your post, and I will not include it if it means correcting more than one error per sentence.
Most Encouraging Thing: A nice, full Crashing the Boards forum, where it was easy to go hunting for posts! Thank you!
Most Discouraging Thing: Miss Elizabeth's death.
Someone Unlikely Ever to Appear in Crashing the Boards Again: Bigfatgoalie, so help me, I am done deleting those extra two question marks. If I see them, I skip your entire post. Got me???
Important Final Words for All: "Needs more Kane."

E-MAIL THE EDITOR
SEE MORE OF THE SAME IN THE OO FORUMS

RAW SATIRE: Fella-ship of the Ring?

RAW RECAP: Bret's Back... for Now...

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2010

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sacrificial Dad

RAW SATIRE: Down Goes Cena~!

RAW RECAP: Bunches and Couples

OOTRR: WWE Vengeance 2004 Re-Revued

SMACKDOWN RECAP: It Ain't Easy Bein' Drew

RAW SATIRE: Alien Visitations

RAW RECAP: Red Herrings Everywhere!

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Cody's Main Event Dash

RAW SATIRE: USA~! USA~! USA~!

RAW RECAP: The Invisi-Viper?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: I Cannot Tell a Lie...

RAW SATIRE: Vinnie's Angles

RAW RECAP: Artifical Intelligence

PPV RECAP: WWE Fatal Fourway 2010

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Kane Protesteth Too Much

RAW SATIRE: Conspicuous by Their Absences

RAW RECAP: Twisted Justice

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Angry Red Machine

RAW SATIRE: Needs More Beverly Brothers!

RAW RECAP: The nxtWo is Taking Over?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Mourning the VegeTaker

RAW SATIRE: Rumer Mongering

RAW RECAP: The Bourne Elevation

SMACKDOWN RECAP: He's Baaaa-aaack

RAW SATIRE: It Stinks~!

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2010

RAW RECAP: Bye Bye, Batista

RAW SATIRE: USA! USA! USA!

RAW RECAP: A Country for Old Men

RAW SATIRE: All Singing, All Dancing

IMPACT RECAP: WWE Castoffs = TNA Gold

NEWSFLASH: McIntyre "Fired," IC Title Vacant

RAW SATIRE: This is EXHAUSTING...

IMPACT RECAP: Who's the Good Guy, Again?

NEWSFLASH: TNA Blinks, The Monday War is Over

RAW RECAP: When Mute Meets Fast Forward

SMACKDOWN RECAP: It's a Big Show

RAW SATIRE: The Virgil Search Begins

OO SPECIAL: 2010 WWE Draft Summary Chart

OO SPECIAL: Monday Coverage/7 WWE Firings

RAW RECAP: The Lop-Sided 2010 Draft

TNA RECAP: Naitch at it Again

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2010

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Losingest Champion

RAW SATIRE: Volcano Worship

TNA RECAP: Celebrating 4/19 with RVD

RAW RECAP: Monday Night SmackDown

WAR 2.0: Ratings Review, Monday Preview

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Free-Per-View, Baby!

NEWSFLASH: SmackDown Moves to SyFy

RAW SATIRE: A Plague of Daves

RAW RECAP: Irrelevance Rewards Mediocrity

IMPACT RECAP: Going Home in Style

WAR 2.0: Ratings Review, Monday Preview (4/12)

OOTRR: Great American Bash 2004 Re-Revued

OO RETRO: Behind the Bash

OO: What I'll Remember About Chris Benoit

NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy