OO Column: Crashing the Boards (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

CRASHING THE BOARDS
Rey (In-Between Sizes) Mysterio — Dre-ee-a-mer...
Dream, Dream Dream... — HHHate the Writers —
Raw v. Smackdown! is a Tie! — Steph "The Bruiser"
McMahon — NWA: TNA, The Future? — Fear for
Tenacious Z — Eddie Guerrero Kisses Babies and
Doesn't Cop a Feel on Old Women Crossing the Street —
Albert, Test, Jonah, Rock v. Austin — Golly, the "Theme"
for This Week Is EXCITEMENT!!!!
February 21, 2003

by YOU, The OO Readers
Compiled by Jeb Lund from the OO Message Boards

[Editor's Note: Posters returned with a vengeance this week, dropping a Billy Gunn-sized load of new material and new thoughts on the boards. There were a lot of great debates that would have been perfect for Crashing the Boards. Unfortunately, as with most board debates, each successive poster got bogged down in one particular of a previous post — creating a chain linked by one tiny bone of contention along the way. In short, in order to print the eighth response, I would have had to print the seven prior responses in order for it to make sense as a rebuttal to the first post. But these are the wages of message boards. And, either way, there was plenty of great stuff to choose from this week... along with one or two gags that had me rolling. Chris is Good, I'm looking at you, on this one. Enjoy!]

Redd Dogg: Start Photocopying That Resume
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Well, if that's true (which I think it is), then Rodney Mack has a long uphill battle in front of him if he aims to gain my support or respect. If you can't perform the move properly, then it may be a good idea not to use it in your all-important first match. Will we be watching D-Lo v. Redd Dogg in NWA before too long?
— Milky

First, I didn't recognize him as "Redd Dogg," so when Al came out for his first match in months, without even an interview to explain why he was in the building, my first thought was, "This guy's so green that they only trust Al Snow not to die in the ring with him?" After the match, I said, "Yup."
— lordVor

God — or Paul Heyman — Preserve Rey Mysterio
If Rey Mysterio goes for the Cruiserweight title, it will be like Brian Pillman as the WCW Light Heavyweight Champ. That was interesting when they brought in Liger, but afterwards, there was really nothing to the division. If Rey goes for the Cruiserweight title, there's no real competition for him, and it becomes as empty as the Million Dollar Belt.

I think that Rey works best in the current WWE climate as a tag team with Edge, feuding with Los Guerreros and Team Angle. I view moving Rey down to full-time cruiserweight to be in the same league as doing that to Eddy Guerrero or Chris Benoit.

The best way to build the cruiserweight division is to make the Matt Hardy bit [into] a successful angle. I would have Hardy, claiming to be at 100% — now that he is no longer killing himself to lose weight — beat Mysterio in a return match at No Way Out. After that, Mysterio goes back to tag-teaming and occasional singles, while Hardy builds a program with Kidman.

There are two ways it can go from there. Hardy beats Kidman at WrestleMania. Or Hardy loses at WrestleMania, and the student surpasses the teacher, as Shannon Moore becomes your next cruiserweight champion. With Kidman, Moore, and Matt Hardy in the mix, then you start to try to mix other people in. Maybe Brian Kendrick works. Maybe you sign a few guys from Ring of Honor. If you can establish 5/6 of a Smackdown! Cruiserweight Six-Pack, then you bring in Mysterio. By that time, the novelty of the tiny little man hanging with the big boys has worn off.
— PostModernBoy

Why does putting Rey as a CW demote him? I mean, I get that it realistically is, but if you actually do some good storytelling, then adding Rey can elevate the division. Same with Hardy. Those two [can] get involved in the division with Moore and Kidman, for the next month or two, and do some good storytelling — rather than just saying, "You're small; you wrestle the other small guy."

And you need not go outside the WWE for other CWs. Kendrick is there. Nunzio and Noble are great mat technicians who mix well with the CWs. Tajiri is still around somewhere. Mixing the high flying of Rey, Moore and Kidman with the technicians of Noble, Tajiri, Nunzio and the in-betweens like Hardy and Kendrick: you have a nice division that can do a variety of styles. That way there is no stereotype. Plus you can move Helms back to Smackdown! Maybe even Jeff Hardy, once the division gets going.

The problem is you need to let them go. That's where WWE [has] failed where WCW and TNA succeeded. They have the talent; they just don't use it. In the past I've heard [it's] because they don't want the undercard showing-up the main event. But that's the blessing with them being on Smackdown! No matter how good Rey and Hardy and Kidman may [perform], the "Smackdown 6" and their sidekicks will probably match them.

I'm thinking of a bunch of storylines I'd like to see right now. Kidman/Rey v. Hardy/Moore. Helms v. Hardy. Hardy v. Hardy. Helms v. Moore. Helms/J. Hardy vs. M. Hardy/Moore. All you have to do is actually pay attention rather than just throwing them out there.
— LuckyLopez

On Tommy Dreamer Joining the Raw Creative Staff
Oh god, now when RVD dominates the world title in the future, everyone is going to hate him and say he is sleeping with Dreamer.
— Damien

I say, "Good job, Vince". They need more people on the creative team who actually know what it's like to be in the ring.

As for conflict of interest problems, any wrestler would probably push their friends. Most wrestlers have said that you have to look out for number one if you're going to be a success. The question is, who will be the least likely to be unfair about it? As others have pointed out, Dreamer was known in ECW for putting others over. That speaks very highly of him in my mind.

Also, Dreamer is probably nearing the end of his in-ring career. Much like Tazz, I support him trying his hand at another aspect of the business. Hopefully he'll be one of those wrestlers who bows out of the ring gracefully, knowing that he has something else to fall back on — as opposed to the guys who just don't know when to quit.
— Laner

If I Could Boo the Writers, I'd Leave The Game Alone
I agree that Triple H is doing everything a heel should do and doing it well. My gripe with him is that I'm tired of him. He's been champ for so long and when he wasn't champ, he dropped it for a month to HBK, who doesn't interest me either. I want to see new guys getting the top shot, and for once I'm not talking about Booker T, but rather Chris Jericho. I'd like to see someone else run with it for a while and see what happens. But it's just not happening, and that's the fault of the ethereal WWE "writers" for not making anybody else viable in the title picture. That's the fault of the writers, but it's just easier to blame the tangible Triple H. I'm not given the opportunity to boo the writers.
— markout

I do not hate HHH. Before he went down with the quad tear, he was one of my favorites. He is definitely one of the best heat getters ever. He has great mic skills and has the dickish-heel act down solid. He has lost a step since coming back from that injury, and that is probably due to the extra mass he put on. I have no problem with him holding the belt. He can keep it until the middle of the decade, for all I care, as long as he can defend it in quality matches. That is all I ask of any champion. The problem I have had with HHH in recent months is the fact that he has dominated the television with his presence. Perhaps that was a result of his own backstage antics, perhaps it wasn't. I don't really care. The fact of the matter for me is that there are lots of other very talented workers/entertainers on Raw who were/are getting pushed to the side to make room for him. I don't care if you're Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Austin, Ric Flair, or Bret Hart. You don't need to be in nearly every goddamn segment for weeks at a time. With that said, The [writers] have backed off lately and made room for many others. So HHH is all good as far as I am concerned. I know I am not alone here.
— 2HoT

People like to point fingers, have someone to blame, hate some evil being. It shows up in almost every form. In wrestling we have the guy who's playing politics. Triple H is an easy target. He's in a relationship with the booker/boss' daughter; he's the champ, and his skills are declining a bit. That being said, if you are on the side of Triple H, just sit aware that roughly 99% of the folks who say he's playing politics probably have no clue. They may be right; they may be wrong. For all we know, Triple H sits in the back drinking Red Bulls all night until someone tells him what to do. Maybe he's showing orphans around the back. Or he may be quietly scheming on how to keep RVD and Booker from ever reaching success. Either way, we will probably never know. Those who believe it probably got it from some online "journalist" who has no source... and a lot of people just say it because they want someone to tear at. If RVD becomes champ tomorrow and reigns for 6 months, we'll say that Dreamer played politics to get him there and RVD is holding back Kane because he stepped on his toe during a tag match...
— LuckyLopez

My Raw Experience. This Is a Wrestling Topic, You Filthy Buggers.
Raw was here in Columbus tonight. It all started when I proudly displayed my "Who Beat Debra?" sign at the opening of the show. It lasted through the first entrance, but then a security guy came and confiscated it! (My apologies to all of you OO-ites.) I guess minimum-wage Nationwide Arena Security Dude has higher morals than me. They also took "Vince Fears Lesbians" and "C.S.I. Blows," among others. I didn't really think those signs were all that offensive, but I guess they were. This left me with only "These Seats Suck" and "When's Slamball On?" Those signs did eventually make it on TV briefly, but that was really my B-team. I guess I just don't understand why people can have racist Guererro lawnmower signs, but I can't mention the lesbian thing, which is actually relevant to last week's show.
— Andy

And Now, a Little Science, If You Please
Raw v. Smackdown! is not really WWF Monday Night Raw v. WCW Monday Nitro, but it is all we've got, outside of WWE killing NWA: TNA. A lot of people have sung the praises of Smackdown!, and namely the Smackdown 6, for giving us a great show, week in and week out. But has one show really been that much better than the other? Is there really one brand that is head and shoulders above the rest?

A quick look at Raw would show that its main-event picture is limited and clouded with two guys who are too bulked up, a previously tried has-been, and one kick-ass Canuck who is pushed properly. Underneath that is a former ECW guy, and a former 5-time WCW champ, and a big guy in red PJs. Obviously, this can't compete with an Olympic gold medalist and The Next Big Thing — as well as one American Badass and one really kick-ass Canuck who is just starting to be pushed right. Underneath them you have Eddie, a grinning Canuck, a fat dancer and Al Wilson. So I don't think it's that one show has more star power. And actually, if it weren't for Rock and Hogan, Raw would clearly have more "name" guys near the top. Yet people seem to think that Smackdown's main event is kicking ass. Really, Smackdown! has basically been Lesnar or Benoit v. Team Angle, and the old guys in Rock v. Hogan, and The Big Show v. Taker.

One thing that is hard to [deny] is that Smackdown! has the better wrestlers. Well, from January, the really good matches (and here I'll just say anything Scott Keith gave **1/2 or more qualifies) from Raw were:
• January 6, 2003 — Raw tag title: Booker T/Goldust v. Lance Storm/William Regal **1/2
• January 27, 2003 — Women's title: Victoria v. Trish Stratus ***
Which basically means not a lot of great matches.

Smackdown! has countered with:
• January 2, 2003 — Kidman v. Eddie Guerrero ***
• January 2, 2003 — Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas v. Chris Benoit/Edge **1/2
• January 9, 2003 — Tajiri v. Jamie Noble ***1/4
• January 9, 2003 — Chris Benoit v. Shelton Benjamin **1/2
• January 16, 2003 — Team Angle v. Chris Benoit/Edge ***1/4
• January 23, 2003 — Chris Benoit v. Charlie Haas ***1/4
• January 23, 2003 — Kurt Angle v. Rey Mysterio ***1/2
• January 30 2003 — Team Angle v. Chris Benoit/Edge ***3/4

But those matches show a glaring issue. Smackdown! is supposed to feature the cruisers giving us **1/2 matches every time out, but only had two cruiser matches make the list. And pretty much every other match involves the IWC's lord and savior Chris Benoit. Smackdown! does give great matches, but a lot of them are repeats of other great matches. I'm all for guys fighting over a period of time, but only if they are actually having a good feud!

And perhaps the biggest thing that gets missed in the Raw v. Smackdown! talk is that Raw has been fairly good in progressing storylines and building up interesting feuds that legitimize the same guys fighting each other over and over again. We've gotten a decent Triple H heel stable, Booker being elevated, RVD and Kane establishing themselves as a team instead of just being tossed together, the Duds feuding with Regal and Storm... as well as Chief Morley, Jericho feuding with Hardy as well as Test... and some HBK guy as well. Over on Smackdown! we have had the Undertaker v. Big Show saga. Dawn Marie v. Torrie Wilson, and Team Angle being formed. What else? Where has Rey Rey gone to? What exactly is Edge up to besides being the fill-in babyface tag-partner?

Maybe I'm being too harsh on Smackdown!, but I think Raw giving up a bunch of one-snowflake matches while telling some good stories and getting me hyped for a PPV is just as good as seeing a bunch of matches featuring some combination of the Smackdown 6, Brock, and Team Angle.
— bigfatgoalie

I think that Smackdown! may be in big trouble after WrestleMania. I'm guessing they may be able to keep things going until Backlash, but it amounts to the same thing either way. When Lesnar eventually does get the belt (and I have little doubt that he eventually will), SD's lack of main-event heels may become all too painfully obvious.

Assuming Brock and Kurt don't feud all year, who else can they go to? I doubt Big Show will get another push like the one he just received. In my opinion, turning guys like Edge or Benoit won't work. Benoit has finally found his niche, and a heel turn would ruin that. And Edge just works better as a face than as a threatening heel. Nathan Jones can be pushed for a month or two max, but anything more would equate to force feeding the fans.

I think the idea of making some trades is the best option, and I wouldn't be surprised to see that happen. Jericho could easily keep up with the Smackdown! crew and would provide some fresh direction. Also, Benoit or Edge would definitely look good on Raw.

I must say this though, I don't agree that Raw has displayed better storylines this year. While I agree that the Raw brand is starting to hit its stride and is showcasing some very [good] angles lately (the Evolution, HBK/Y2J, and the tag division come to mind), I think you're greatly underestimating the storytelling on Smackdown! Think about it.

Smackdown's storylines have been rather simple in set-up all year, yes. However, that is not to say that they haven't had subtle nuances, continuity and consistency. Much ink has been spilled about the arc of Angle/Benoit; from ultra-competitve heels to unwilling partners to bitter rivals. Along those same lines, Heyman's siding with and subsequent screwing of Brock has been compelling and well planned. Recently, Hogan and Rock are executing their build-up to perfection. Even Hogan's run-in with Brock has been handled properly. When they were fighting, Benoit and Eddy actually mentioned their history together. Smackdown! is essentially getting all the little things right. Raw is only starting to do that.

To me, this past year has belonged to Smackdown! However, the gap is now starting to narrow, and by the start of spring, the shape of the WWE brand split could change very fast.
— Milky

Mmmgh. "Meaty."
Is it just me, or did Steph's arms seem fatter tonight than usual? Like maybe she's puttin' on some extra pounds? Like maybe HHH is hooking her up with the "special vitamins"? HHH did somehow find Chyna attractive, so maybe he likes his ladies extra large....
— mikeyfern

Triple H likes his women to be somewhat masculine. First X-Pac, then Chyna, now look what he's doing to Steph.
— markout

"My Big Fat Upstart Wrestling Promotion" — The Potential Sleeper Hit of the Season... in Three Years?
I am a fan of NWA-TNA. I appear to be in the minority. Good wrestling (most of the time), decent storylines (some of the time) and a crop of wrestlers who never got pushed in WWE or would never get the chance. That being said, I feel like Vince is aware of something. TNA is no real threat to WWE right now. But it wasn't until WCW actually overcame WWE that I think he figured that out anyway. I think 2-3 years down the line, TNA could be a competitor. So that has made me wonder 2 things.

1. Is Vince gonna steal? He did it with indies back in the day. I was an ECW "mutant," and I cringed every time one of their stars was signed away to WWF or WCW, which was the true downfall of ECW. So does Vince wise up and swipe some talent? Tenacious Z isn't exactly the biggest star in TNA, nor is he quite the next big thing. But he, in a matter of three weeks, made his way from dark match to one of the crowd favorites in a high-profile match. Now he's WWE. So at some point does Vince decide Ron Killings needs to come home? When does he try to get AJ Styles and Low Ki to bolster his cruiserweights? Does he realize at some point that he shouldn't have released Elix Skipper and Mike Sanders in the wake of the WCW buyout?

2. You think the wrestlers see something here? There are rumors that WWE wrestlers are unhappy and worried about the direction of WWE. Lord knows the fans talk about it. Now there's no real guarantee that Angle and Benoit really are worried, but then again maybe there is. Raven gets called up to Raw, redoes his look and seems up for a push... then he gets released. As he signs with TNA, it is revealed that he asked for the release. Now he's in the main-event picture. Bull Buchanan is in the middle of a push with John Cena in a truly entertaining angle. Then he gets squashed and released. Next week, he's backstage at TNA. D'Lo Brown has his new push (if debatably tasteless) on Raw. New manager in Teddy Long. A catchphrase. Then it's made public that he is going to be let go soon. Now if this is true, we all know that he's going to TNA.

So can it stand to reason that there is some order in this? Maybe Raven and D'Lo... see TNA and... purposely want to get out of WWE, knowing they'll make it in TNA. That's something interesting to look at in the industry. I mean, Justin Credible didn't ask for his release so he could go work for XPW. Even some Heat matches probably get you more exposure and money than a main-event feud with Vic Grimes. So maybe Raven and D'Lo, both being praised as intelligent men (Raven I've heard described as one of the smartest wrestling men in the business, and D'Lo's got that accountant thing, ya' know) saw something on the rise and decided to jump on. It's the idea that had people leave WWF for WCW many years ago, before the Monday Night Wars. So maybe it leads [one] to wonder if TNA is the next ECW, the next WCW or the next... uh, any fed that folded. Maybe a year or so from now, TNA's stars will help them score a TV deal. And then Killings, Raven, Styles, D'Lo, Lynn, Low Ki and Red will stay loyal and build their stars on a main-event scene.
— LuckyLopez

You know, the wrestling world is not strictly limited to the USA. In England, every WWE house show sells out in about 2 hours. Dammit, the bloody WWA sold out first time round, until everyone realized how crap it was. And WWE is consistently the highest-rated show on SkySports (equivalent of ESPN). Australia is the same. And over in Asia, where the WWE just pulled in some hefty gates... headlined by HHH v. Tajiri.

My point? I hate to say it, but conquering the American market should be an afterthought for NWA: TNA. It's not even on TV in England, but thanks to "unofficial" magazines, everyone knows who they are. It's just started to be shown in Australia, and apparently everyone loves it. If NWA: TNA wants to succeed, they should capitalize on the world's thirst for American wrestling first. That would bring in a lot of income that could then go into production and promotion, in order to compete with WWE.

It's time to prove that someone other than the WWE can constantly draw attention at an international level. I know for a fact that if it were on TV over here in any form, I'd watch it.
— Censor The Raven

Eddie "The Face" Guerrero?
Eddie is such a fantastic heel... it's a shame that his talent is being wasted by a face turn. Of course, the face turn could have just been for their feud with Team Angle, and it wouldn't surprise me to see them go heel again. They did the same with Kurt when he won the title from Big Show — why not do it with the Eddie/Chavo? And it is kind of fun to cheer for those two (some of us do anyway, but you know what I mean), just like it was when Angle got cheers for winning the title.
— Alana

• Three Minute Warning. The UnAmericans (yeah, I know, they're not, but they really still are). Vitamin C (I wish that name had stuck). FBI. Evolution. Team Angle. Team Mattitude.
• Kane/RVD. Benoit/Edge/Mysterio. The Dudley Boyz.

I'm thinking [the Guerrero face turn] might have something to do with the fact that there are just way more heel teams and tandems in the WWE than face ones. In fact, the only really stable face team on Smackdown! is Edge and whoever happens to be his partner. The audiences are probably just looking for someone to get behind. ...Who the hell am I kidding? Look, the fact is, even though he's a heel, Eddie Guerrero (and by association, Chavo) is just inherently cool. People want to like him. He's sort of like a modern-day Razor Ramon in that way.
— JJBRWESQ

I think this has less to do with Vince and more to do with Heyman. He likes booking wrestlers who can be turned without a turn. All Los Guerreros did to turn was have a conversation with John Cena, and one week later, they're face. A week later and Eddie cuts his heel mullet. When they turn heel again, it will just make them better heels.
— d-rock

May the Lord Protect Tenacious Z from the Wisdom of Vince McMahon
I read the other day the WWE signed Tenacious Z from TNA. In case you haven't heard about Tenacious Z, he has one leg. Why do I have a feeling this poor kid is going to get exploited, made to look like a fool, and then pushed right back out of the WWE? Because seriously, who in the WWE right now will job to a guy with one leg besides Chris Jericho?
— Chris Is Good517

There are rumors that WWE is in talks with a second one-legged wrestler. Maybe they're starting a division. JR couldn't resist labeling Charlie Haas a Hoss during the Rumble, so imagine how many "one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest" references he'd get out of this.
— d-rock

A one-legged tag-team. SMELL THE BUYRATE! I'll settle for old "has-beens" that seek glory forever and ever. I mean, come on, like the WWE will actually push a one-legged tag team. It'll be more like two guys fused together, so we can do a stupid Siamese-twin gimmick.
— The Other Take

You're Gerwetz, aren't you?!?!?!
— Chris Is Good517

The Albert Verdict: Furry, but Good. Like Chewbacca, but Without His Command of Language and Ability to Emote
I know it's an unpopular position, but I'm generally impressed with A-Knob. I'm begging him to wear a shirt, but aside from that, he's doing reasonably well with his push.

I totally disapprove of renaming the Albert-Bomb the "Derailer" instead of the "A-Bomb." It's not a great move to begin with, and it needs a great name in order to be a top move. Derailer? Garbage. If he keeps doing what he's doing, and improves at it, who knows? I might call myself an A-Knob fan someday soon.
— Murray

A-Train: Look, I know most of you despise Albert, but Vince likes big men. And you can do a lot worse than Albert. I mean, you've got Henry, DeMott, Rikishi and Nathan Jones. Albert is big, has a really distinct look, is over as a heel, and is willing to work and learn to improve himself. Plus he sells for smaller guys (he sold for Rey Mysterio, for God's sake, and he outweighs him by close to 200 lbs). He's even got a pretty good repertoire of moves (Derailer, Trainwreck, Argentinean neckbreaker, Stalling butterfly brainbuster/slam, Bicycle kick, Gorilla press into sitout pancake, gorilla press driver, slingshot rope guillotine, plus submissions like the single leg crab and that interesting little number he used on Benoit last week). Bah, enough ranting. A-Train works for me.
— JJBRWESQ

"WE WANT GILLBERG! And maybe Stone Cold Doink! Why not? Whaddaya mean, 'That sounds stupid?' Why are you in my house?"
The return of Gillberg as an Austin clone would be great. Even if Austin is around, they should do that anyway. Have Bischoff beat Gillberg (Austin clone) and then, as he celebrates, get breaking glass and an ass-whuppin'. This coming from a guy who doesn't like Austin, but that would be really cool.
— metallikid

Aw, man. Rock/Austin Again?
One question: why? We all know that Rock is leaving [and] thus can't win. This will mark the 3rd time the Rock jobs to Austin at Mania. I wish there was another way because Rock deserves to get a WrestleMania win, but then again he doesn't, since he is leaving.
— metallikid

My problem with this match is that Rock will obviously have to play the heel, and Austin will get to be the face. While that could work, and there really isn't any other way, I don't like it. If they're going to base it around Rock's comments towards Austin after his no-show, then that seems backwards to me, because Rocky did the right thing, and Austin was in the wrong. I think it not only over-simplifies but it, in fact, gets it all backwards. Rock shouldn't be made to look like a bad guy for basically doing his company and all the guys in the back a huge favor.

Then again, he does get to make more action movies, so I guess he wins no matter what. Besides, I've always liked their matches, and I for one am really looking forward to seeing them paired up one last time.
— Milky

When I first heard the rumor I thought the same thing. It's strange because now I feel Rock/Hogan's first match should have happened at Mania this year. With Rock leaving for Hollywood, a Hogan return would now make more sense. Hogan trying to stop Rock from leaving for Hollywood and selling out on the fans like he did (or some kind of storyline like that). It was a year too early, but then again that Toronto (hometown) crowd couldn't have been duplicated anywhere. I think it started this craze where fans try to outpop each other in different cities for Hogan.

I think Austin/Rock was suppose to happen last year. It would [have made] sense for Rock to get revenge from the year before. When they announced WrestleMania in Toronto, the photo shoots everywhere had Austin and Rock with the Toronto Mayor in the middle trying to stop them from fighting. The fans might have been for Rock regaining the WWE title. He does deserve a victory over Austin at Mania, in my opinion. It looks like another loss to Austin, which doesn't make sense.
— promoter2003

Test Will Not Be at the Pay-Per-View, but He Has an Excuse
I'm sure if Test had explained himself better, all would have been fine. Something along the lines of: "Hey, I woke up next to Stacy, Vince. What do you think happened?" They're all guys there, they would have understood.
— MrJustinB

Test's demotion is a real shame. I was really looking forward to his shilling for Girls Gone Wild, just like I'm really looking forward to going bald.
— Milky

We Need Triple H As-Is
I personally could do without the superstars... I always could. Never been a big fan of that aspect of wrestling. Anytime for the past 4 years that Rock, Austin, HHH, Hogan, Taker or Foley got on my TV, I was inclined to change the channel. Not because of the individual but because of the position. Hell, I nearly never watch the main event of a show.

But my point is the superstar position exists. And these are the guys who play it. And truth be told, they're probably the best choices. Don't get me wrong. I agree that Jericho, Benoit, Edge, Booker, Regal, and maybe even Kane could believably beat these guys with the right storytelling. I'd even be willing to throw in Angle, Lesnar, E. Guerrero, Storm, RVD (and even Cena is about a 3 steps from winning a spot on my list). But if you book Jericho to beat HHH, and next feud Booker beats HHH, and next feud Kane beats HHH... then HHH is no longer HHH. And while I am sure that many people would be very happy about that, can those three take up the slack? Wrestling wise, hell yeah. Main-event wise, sure. But are they going to have the spark and luster? Will Booker v. Jericho in February 2004 have the same luster as Rock v. Hogan in February 2003? It's a possibility, but I don't know.

Remember, what a lot of people here want to see is not HHH losing to Booker. [Or] even him losing the belt to Booker. If that happens, they'll say "wait till next PPV." And when HHH wins [there], then they'll repeat the same old [complaints]. They want to see Triple H lose to that entire list. They want to see him essentially "pass the torch." But when you do that you have to stop running... otherwise you're just a jackass who let go of something that he's now chasing.

But if Booker scores some clean wins over HHH... and Benoit gets a standing O at a PPV... the seeds are being sewn. Vince has a business to run. He needs his top dogs in the front. They may be getting on in years, and their bite may not be what it used to be, but they can still produce. That's the key. People still do froth at the mouth for Hogan v. Rock. People still do scream for Austin's arrival. And people still do feel electricity when HHH enters the arena.

$50 right now. Jericho will probably defeat HBK at WrestleMania. And that will be the start of the final rise for Jericho. He's been a star; he's been a main eventer; he's been a champion. But that last step is to superstardom. For a select few, "Icon." And if Jericho gets there [less] than a year from now, we'll love it. And 2 years from now, we'll dig it. And 3 years from now, we'll remark on how we've seen this. And in time Jericho will be the superstar that we think needs to move aside. But then Vince (or Steph, Shane or maybe even HHH) will need to ride with the proven horse rather than burning him out.

Because once you have HHH job out to all the faces, it's over for him. You can't get him back. And I don't think HHH is done yet. Not like Flair, not like Foley, not like Hogan. HHH has some years left in him.

And may I again reiterate... I hate Hogan. I hate Rock. I am only entertained by HHH or Austin about a quarter of the time. And I've been marking out for Booker and Benoit since the days that Harlem Heat were feuding with Stars and Stripes and Benoit was tagging with Pillman. I just have a grasp on what realistically I'm gonna get to see.
— LuckyLopez

Just Because It's Malicious Doesn't Mean It Isn't a Dream...
I would like to see Maven, Nowinski, and Nidia on the same show. I would like to see Jackie and Linda and John and Matt all become talented enough to be on that same show. I'd even like to see Jonah get signed and be on that same show.

Then I'd like to see Josh snap and start taking them out one by one with a chair. Just because.
— JJBRWESQ

Jonah, Makin' Some Bucks — Bringin' His Lunch in a Paper Bag — Not Sellin' out and Workin' for Inetrode. Wait. Nevermind.
I think that it might hurt Jonah in the sense that he's now trying to make a name for himself on the 2nd biggest stage in Pro Wrestling. He's basically gotta go through all of his growing pains live and in front of a nationwide PPV audience. This could make or break him.

However, in terms of signability in the WWE? I think he's in a great position. If he can prove he's got the talent, the WWE will definitely have no qualms about signing him. Remember, this isn't a guy who left on bad terms. He wasn't the one who left: he lost Tough Enough3, so it's not like he could have gone to OVW (I think) and instead went to NWA: TNA. Nah, he's trying to stay in the limelight, and he's actually showing some level of commitment to the business. If he proves himself in the TNA rings, he'll be in the WWE unquestionably. Besides, I think that the WWE will always believe he's a homegrown talent, no matter how well he does in TNA.
— Icon

Which Came First: the Music, or the Pop?
Okay, I've always had this theory and I wonder who amongst you will agree with me on it. it goes something like this: a wrestler's success will ultimately be dependent upon how appealing his entrance music is.

Now, I'm not saying its the only factor in determining success, but what I am saying is that it's a factor which is directly proportional to how high a performer can rise. Basically, that the better the theme music, the more "over" the particular wrestler will be.

Now, obviously, the chicken / egg argument could be made, that the more talented performers will get the better music. But just to be crazy, could it be that the better theme songs make the wrestlers seem more desirable, thus making them a bigger success?

Bear with me, here. Perhaps it's better to illustrate my examples by showing you which performers I believe are hurting because of their less-than-stellar entrance music.

1. Dudleyz. They had a kick-ass theme song when they first arrived, and then within a six month period went through two or three changes in music. Then they broke up, only to be reunited later with yet another theme song.

2. Trish Stratus. Not saying she's not successful, but man, that entrance music flat out sucks. Remember the gunna-gunna-gunna music she had when she was with T and A? Something about that song had "stripper" or "sexy" written all over it, and it fit with her overall strut. She needs something like that again to help her get over.
— Icon

[And now, something cruelly tongue-in-cheek — ed.]
Now if anybody wants to talk about Triple H wielding political power to put himself over big time, they needn't look any further than at the entrance themes. Vince and Steph probably went to him first about getting a new theme a few years ago. I can see it now:

Steph: Daddy, give Trips some cool entrance music by a real band, please. None of this Jim Johnston keyboard and drum machine crap. He's too cool for it and and music by a real band would prove that.
Vince: Ok, Hunter, how about this "American Badass" song by Kid Rock? It's really big with the kids. It rocks and it's sell your bad-ass image.
Triple H: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're not serious are you, Vince?
Vince: Of course, I am. Why, do you not like that idea? Because I have other ideas. Limp Bizkit is the biggest band in America right now. Or how about Rob Zombie? That name just oozes bad-ass.
Triple H: Sorry, Vince. Look, how about you give Kid Rock to The Undertaker. People will really dig that. And Rob Zombie? Yeesh! Give it to some schmuck like Edge. Listen, if you're gonna give me entrance music by a big-time band, I'm gonna do it my way, got it? I don't want anybody fuckin' up my ride to the top. I'm calling Lemmy.

Yeah, this is probably what happened, word for word. And look at the video packages for returning superstars, too. Triple H gets U2. He comes back and everybody is happy. Steve Austin is returning and a lot of people are less than thrilled about his return to the WWE. Why? Because his big video package has Creed all over it! Creed!

Maybe Hunter is trying to hurt Austin, or maybe this is all bullshit, but one thing is for sure, the evidence clearly points to the fact that Hunter got the better deal upon his return than Austin is getting. And a look back at last year will prove that people were much more receptive to Hunter's return than they are to Austin's return. Hunter (U2) v. Austin (Creed)... who wins? Yeah, Hunter does.

If this is not conclusive evidence that an entrance theme makes a wrestler, then [evidence] does not exist. However, look at the arguments I have presented here today. There is not a single flaw in them. This, I believe, is sufficient evidence to prove that there is some kind of a scientific law at work here: that there really is a link between cool entrance themes and the level of success that a wrestler experiences.
— Slade

This Week's Stats
Most Frequent Subject: Austin, Triple H, HHH, Trips, Cripple H, THHe Game, The GaHHHme, HHHas-Been, No Way Out.
Most Spammer-Like Poster: Everyone trying to jack-up their post count.
Most Encouraging News: LuckyLopez and Icon show up out of the blue and drop some good thoughts on everyone. May they bring some friends.
Most Discouraging News: Too much goddamned fantasy booking: too few ideas that cannot be explained without saying, "X gets traded for Y, who gets in a feud with Z, who imports H amount of Olives at R price per pound, against a tariff that is keeping down B & C, who win in a Keynesian Grudge Match." Also too much "OOWrestlemania" nonsense.
Most interesting name — and also newest complete asshole: SttGtDNtbSSS — someone who either has severe Balkan pride, or else is a secret devotee of Cobra and his terror organization (H.I.S.S.).

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