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CRASHING THE BOARDS
Regal/Storm v. Oh My Gawd — It's the Milky Goalie's 
Show Where He Masters Pigeons! — "Taker, that's a 
lovely color" — Chevalier Bautista? — "The Germans 
wore gray, but the bride wore on my patience..." — Team 
Dork Patrol Squad — Steiner's Already Unready Already — 
RVD Stagnant — Potential 2003 Highlights — And Oodles 
and Oodles of Spoonable Noodles!!!

January 10, 2003

by YOU, The OO Readers
Compiled by Jeb Lund from the OO Message Boards

 

Storm and Regal — Good Team, or Commentator Nemeses?
Losing to J.R. will not be forgotten, nor will it hurt them. In fact, I think it'll be used for Regal and Storm to keep harassing the two, make it an ongoing side-thing. Nothing that we'd need a payoff for, just a side thing to give more to Regal and Storm's arrogant characters.
— salmonjunkie


Booker T and Goldust had been building to a tag-title run for a long time. Regal and Storm have been built up as the number one heel duo, and as Eric's henchmen in a sense. They were prime for winning the titles by cheap methods. Both the Booker/Goldie win, and then the Regal/Storm win were built up and shows a good example of the WWE not only following a through and delivering a pay-off... but building ahead.

And that's the big thing about a Regal/Storm win. It sets up the rematch, and then lets Booker T go on to other things. On top of that, the WWE has set up a built-in feud with the Dudleys v. UnAmericans... as well as working 3MW into the fray. At the same time, they are building up RVD/Kane as a tag team.

The Raw tag division has quickly become one of the best things about Raw and the WWE in general. The teams are relatively over, have feuds...and the division seems to offer payoffs and future direction. Every fan should heap praise onto Raw for the fine work!

Sure Bookerdust could have had a longer run. But the people who are complaining about the shortness of it likely would have bitched about Booker being held back in the tag ranks.
— bigfatgoalie


I was very unhappy when Lance Storm and William Regal won the Tag Titles on Raw. However, my disappointment was not with the booking. My reaction was exactly what it should have been, because Storm and Regal are heels, and dammit, they beat my favorite Raw tag team!

The recent title switch makes all kinds of sense, far more than the Raw booking team usually exhibits anyway. Here’s why:
• First of all, this reign takes nothing away from Booker T and Goldust. These two got over very well without ever really needing or even seeking the Tag Team Titles. Furthermore, although they don't need them, their loss does not keep this unlikely tandem out of the title race. I expect them to face off against Storm and Regal at Royal Rumble. Also, if Booker and Goldust decide not to pursue the Tag Titles further, we could be in for the best treat of all: a decent push for the 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time WCW Champion. This is the homestretch to WrestleMania, and what better time have Booker T make a potentially very lucrative move toward the World Title picture?
• Second (and this is something that everybody probably realizes, yet nobody has explicitly said), the Raw brand is obviously trying to emulate the recent success Smackdown! has had in legitimizing their tag division. With both brands having a gaping lack of legitimate tag teams, the WWE has had recent success by shoving together unlikely pairs of strong yet directionless talents. Examples abound, from Angle/Benoit and Edge/Mysterio, to Booker T/Goldust and RVD/Kane.

However, even though they often make fantastic partners, eventually these groups are bound to split to pursue singles stardom. It's at this point that the belt should be given to a strong dependable team that does not show signs of splitting up. For Smackdown!, the Guerreros were a no-brainer. For Raw, Storm and Regal made good sense. Neither wrestler is ready for better things individually. Yet they work well as a team. The Dudleys would have also made good sense, but we can expect them to oppose the champs heading into 'Mania. And the old maxim says that it's better to have the babyfaces chasing the titles rather than carrying them.

Finally, as for the champs' recent loss to JR and Lawler, I do not expect this to hinder the team in the least. In fact, this was another step in the right direction for Storm and Regal. If these two have a downside, it's fan apathy. They lack charisma. However, wrestling lore dictates that any lack of charisma can be compensated for by good booking. Fans will forget that you were boring if you were involved in exciting or innovative angles. The only time we ever truly cared about the character of Test was when he was courting or losing Stephanie. It's tough to care about Regal and Storm when all they do is wrestle well. But if you make them look like Bishoff's bullies, and then have the bullies beaten at their own game, fans will remember that the next time they walk to the ring. And fans will boo them for it. Their victory over the biggest babyface team on Raw not only cancels out that loss, it's another reason for the fans to care about the team. Finally, logic seems to have returned to the Raw brand.
— Milky


Regal/Storm make sense as tag champs right now. Booker T should be gearing up for some kind of singles match at WrestleMania, since he is arguably Raw's most over and deserving babyface. It also makes sense to have heel champs for the Road to WrestleMania, since it would make sense for them to feud with the Dudleys (or to somehow get the belts on the Dudleys, since I think a Dudleys vs. 3MW feud would be much better than a Storm/Regal vs. Dudleys feud). There could even be some 3-Way Dance potential in there.

As for this being "On The Fly Booking", I don't think it was necessarily "on the fly," but it definitely did seem a little rushed. This was something that would have made more sense to build up and have at the Royal Rumble. I'd like to think that the rush to get the belts off of Booker T and Goldust means that Raw has plans for Booker T. Of course, I'd also like to think that Trish Stratus has a Markout poster on her wall...
— markout


RVD, ShmarVD
RVD has not shown the fans anything new in over a year. We get the same series of shitty-looking kicks, then the jump off the top rope. RVD is not getting a push because there are people who are better at the stuff that RVD does. And whenever RVD has a promo, I really think that he is on drugs, and he seems to forget half his lines and stumble over himself. — mcian


Nuptials, Nuptials — How They Could Have Been (and Were) Done
Not only will [the wedding] suck (and for that reason ought to be boycotted), but when was the last time you actually saw a [wrestling] wedding end with the intended wedding participants getting married?

It'll be interesting to see how they can come up with an original way of having it end in a schmozz... but not interesting enough for me to want to watch it.

Also, I think the fed is being insanely retarded by not holding this wedding in Vermont. If the show was in Vermont, we could get that killer swerve by having Dawn get married to Torrie Wilson! Umm-umm, swervalicious!
— Slade


We won't need to actually voice our complaints because the Al-Dawn Marie-Torrie story actually gets trashed every week by Tazz and Cole. When the announcers are calling the whole thing shit it makes you wonder why they are writing this stuff. What's the payoff?
— Gandalf


Personally, I hope George "The Animal" Steele shows up and tears the wedding set apart with his teeth and then carries Dawn Marie away to never be seen by anyone ever again.
— Slade, again


George 'The Animal' Steele? That's ridiculous. Who would pay to see that? Now Bad News Brown, there's your money match. Make it happen, Vince!
— Machmod Serpentor


What truly baffles me about the whole thing is that it got dick-all for reaction for its entire lifespan, other than a little "X-pac heat," and yet they [still] insist on feeding us this shit. What happened to the fans dictating what they want to see? On one of my WrestleMania DVDs, in the extras, I remember seeing something with Bruce Pritchard talking about how the WWF asks the fans, "What do you like? Do you like this? If not, what would you like to see?" I guess that whole thing is down the drain, because honestly, this was even more poorly received than the Billy/Chuck wedding I think. Absolutely pathetic television.
— Bonestein


Hail, Hail 2003!
Okay, in an attempt to get some of my love of wrestling back, I made a list of stuff that I'm REALLY looking forward to in 2003 (although when none of this happens and we get A-Train/HHH at WrestleMania, I'll return to being the bitter skeptic I was before, but whatever).

1. Kurt's title rein (Benoit's #1 challenger, and Brock's on the horizon for WrestleMania, if they let Brock WRESTLE that's at least 2 ****+ matches).

2. Los Guerreros (barring Vince sticking Bradshaw & Billy Gunn together as "They'll get over if I have to kill everyone in the company," they should hold the belts FOREVER. CHEAT TO WIN!).

3. Mattitude (I know it's almost complete copy of "Lionheart Jericho" but screw it, Matt v1.0 was one of the most unexpectedly brilliant things to come out of the year. And in a month or so, when Vince gives up on Albert again (remember when he turned on Scotty and was Kurt's muscle for about 3 seconds?), I hope he gets the push he deserves).

4. Kanyon, Rhyno, Raven and Tajiri on TV.

5. Booker getting a push (I'm assuming spending a year jobbing in the mid-card despite being one of the most over guys on Raw means he's paid his dues enough for the "WWF guys").

6. The chance that Bradshaw, Nash and Undertaker might not come back.

7. Steiner going roid-rage and shooting on HHH, or HHH cheating on Steph.

8. Benoit the όberface (he could completely take Austin's place as badass renegade; looks and fights like a B.M.F.).

9. Cruiserweights (Noble, Rey, Chavo, Kidman, Spike, Hurricane, MF Shannon, etc.).

10. HHH jobbing clean to Benoit, Jericho or Booker (I can dream).
— Stormtrooper


2002's Abortions and/or Aborted Angles. Take Your Pick.
With WWE being the only major unit in town, it seems like they did a lot of rebooting this year. It [wasn't] even one 10th as bad as WCW 2000, but there were many angles I started enjoying and quickly WWE pulled the plug. Some of them, however, I didn't enjoy either.

I would have loved to seen a Hogan vs. McMahon feud. I would have loved to seen the nWo stay alive, but that died the minute Kevin Nash tore his quad. I would have loved to have seen a face Triple H face the evil, but cool, nWo band on Raw.
— Goose


Bischoff kissing Steph? Where did that ever go?
— Timmy


Yeah, and I wonder what Maven thinks about his girlfriend Torrie Wilson spending the night with Dawn Marie and hanging around that Billy Kidman so much. Apparently he just forgot about his knockout blonde girlfriend and the man who bashed up his leg, because he just really didn't like that Chris Nowinski guy over on RAW....
— beatenlikeagovernmentmule


[And now a bit of humor on that same subject....]
It's true, it's damn true. Maven does not like Chris Nowinski. Maven thought he crushed Nowinski once and for all by beating him on Tough Enough. But no. Like 007, Nowinski returned to ruin Maven's dominance as the sole Tough Enough alumnus on WWE TV. Who cares about Torrie? She's like the merry-go-round at the park; everyone's had a turn on her. And Tajiri, oh, who cares about him? No, Nowinski must be destroyed. WWE isn't big enough for more than one male Tough Enough alum. And the next guy who graduates from Tough Enough will feel the wrath of the evil Maven. Maven rigged the Tough Enough 2 vote to ensure there was no male winner, and he will do it again this time and the next time.
— DennisIsEvil


Team: Angle! Mission: Dorky Tights!
I have to admit I, too, thought of the American Gladiators when I saw Team Angle walk out. That being said, I really don't understand the negativity around this angle. They are getting arguably the best push of any recent debuts, with the possible exception of Brock Lesnar, and even Lesnar broke in by beating up Al Snow and Spike Dudley. Benjamin and Haas are in the freaking main event angle basically up until WrestleMania, for crying out loud. Once Angle loses to Brock, Heyman will drop him as his client and Team Angle will transform into "better" ring gear and team moniker.

All that being said, I don't believe Charlie Haas is ready for the big time yet. Nobody will question his wrestling ability, but his ring presence will leave a lot to be desired. Benjamin is ready and should be a break out star, and I think Haas was brought along because he too has a storied amateur background and it fit the angle better than any other "prospect."
— Shaggy


I think this Team Angle thing is great. There hasn't been a good stable for a long time, and this will only make the odds against Lesnar even greater. I can see Handicap matches and Gauntlet matches, a wide variety of tag matches — Benoit and Lesnar v. Team Angle (2 on 3 maybe). All of this keeps things new and interesting. It sort of reminds me of back in NWA (pre-WCW) when Rick Steiner and Mike Rotundo had the whole college wrestling schtick going; that was great then. This is a great way to get the new guys some heat. Shelton has been on and off of Velocity and dark matches, but this should be a breakthrough for him. I do agree however that they should get rid of the American Gladiator look.
— cpdevine1


Why'd You Drug That Hedgehog and Staple It to Your Face, Mitchell?
I can't believe no one has taken the opportunity to rip on little Mikey's new mustache! He looks like he should have a top-hat and a cape and be tying damsels to railway tracks. It's the funniest thing since he went with streaks. It almost makes me wish Ed the Sock covered wrestling, 'cause, damn, he would let him have it!
— 2HoT


You know what really bugged me about the Cole facial hair thing? It forced me to shave!!!

I was in no shape or form going to allow myself to go to work with anything that makes me look like Cole.... Now granted I was going for more of a Lemmy look, and haven't shaved in a while so....

I need a new hobby....
— bigfatgoalie


"That Last Raw? Actually better than getting hit with a hammer. No, seriously."
It was a fair show, with a bit too much recapping going on for my taste, but probably necessary to keep things fresh in the mind of the casual viewer.

The show was a little too Posedown-centric, but eh, like Rick said in Monday's OO, they can't put Steiner in the ring before the Rumble; because if they do, that aura around him will totally evaporate once his ring skills become apparent.

On the plus side, the comeback of Randy Orton was well-executed and well-timed. The kid has shown that he's got enough charisma to work with the people he's been placed with. Now all that's left to see is how he fares in the ring.

On the negative side, last week, D'Lo was a thug... and this week, he's dressed "high class"? I don't get it, but I am curious to see where this Nowinski/Brown partnership goes.

All in all, a decent Raw... nothing great, but not a suckfest as we were getting accustomed to a couple of months back.
— masterofpigeons


Release the Steiner!
Unlike many fans, there was a time when I was excited about this feud. I thought, "Hey, this is fresh, new, and I don't know exactly where it's going." But such days have passed.

The stare down between Steiner and Triple H was great. Well done. The arm-wrestling? Okay, interesting, different, I'll buy it.

But a friggin' pose down!!! C'mon. That's just weak.

What would really be the harm in having a brawl? Seriously. Triple H has a (very?) minor injury. So, unless he's in real risk of making it worse, would a few punches and kicks be too much to ask for? As for Steiner....

Steiner may not be at his best. That was long ago. He may not be in the shape he was in two years ago. But don't tell me he can't brawl! Hell, as bad as he is, he's still better than quite a few guys on both rosters. Can he carry this feud? Maybe not (although he did carry the WCW Title fairly well). Can he carry himself in a scrum? No doubt. [For Americans: a "scrum" is the head-down, locked fight for the ball in rugby... like a tip-off with submission moves — ed.]

I disagree with anyone who says a physical confrontation would expose Steiner as a weak link. He's not gonna win any MOTYs, and he's not gonna bust out any Frankensteiners. But as long as it's well booked, these two can have a decent contest.

Let them go dammit!
— Milky


No! Put him back! Put him back! He's only half-baked!
You know what? As far as this Steiner/HHH feud was concerned, [the pose down] was the ONLY thing I was interested in seeing. I wanted to see how close HHH's ever-growing physique was to Steiner's.

I'm NOT looking forward to the match at all. Steiner is a walking cripple (i.e. drop-foot syndrome, fragile back) and looks like a drug-induced heart-attack waiting to happen. All I've seen from Steiner so far are some gorilla-pressed cruiserweights and some very "careful" suplexes. If knee-lifts were banned from pro-wrestling, HHH wouldn't have an offensive arsenal at all, and, given how he freakishly injured his quad the first time, I don't think he'll be doing any crazy bumps.

This will pretty much be Taker vs. Sid Version 2.0.
— GoA-BoY


Dead Man Lavender (it matches the guest towels)
[When 'Taker returns] it has to be [with] the outfit with the purple boots and gloves... that kicked. Give him the tie, too, and never have him talk except for, "Rest in Peace." Paul Bearer can return as his manager. Then we can put Hardcore Holly back as Sparky Plugg, the Nascar driver; reform the Nation of Domination; make HHH the Greenwich snob again (he's almost there already); bring back Doink; have Nash return as Diesel; rehire Scott Hall as Razor Ramon; bring back Bart Gunn and reform the Smoking Gunns... 2003 can be 1993 all over again!

Oh wait... scratch all that. That would suck.
— cpdevine1


More Undertaker...
I'm excited to see the old 'Taker coming back, too, but something tells me this may suck. Here's why: every time the Grim Reaper 'Taker has returned in the past, it has been to battle someone with a persona as dark as his own. Mankind, Kane, etc.

Now 'Taker's old gimmick is honestly pretty cartoonish. It came out of the darkest days of WWE booking. Granted, it's been great fun at times, but its best moments have been against guys like Kane and Mankind who shared the same gimmick style. I always found it weird when 'Taker was juxtaposed against guys like Stone Cold, whose persona was so reality based. At least his biker thing was contemporary.

But does bringing back the Deadman gimmick seem right, when the payoff is a feud with the Big Show? How the hell are they going to crucify that giant? This could be great, or it could be really stupid. I mean, even more of an eyesore than the "Corporate Ministry" type stupid.
— Milky


"Dave" Bautista "Davidson" — A Horseman?
I have to chime in on Bautista, because there's just too many negative comments about him. I don't see why everyone is ragging on him so hard. Yes, he doesn't have the most impressive thing going for him right now, but he's only been in the big leagues for like 2 months. (I am not counting the Deacon stuff, because he didn't really do anything with that.) Remember how everyone shit on Brock, claiming he was just a Goldberg flameout? Now he's showing that he has tremendous potential (and not only potential, because he's a legitimate draw now, I think). Let's all relax and realize that if a new Four Horsemen is formed, and Baustista is part of it, it won't be sacrilege. Paul F'n Roma was a Horseman. Bautista is no worse as it is now. And admit it, Bautista has serious upside.
— Bonestein


YB2JK Athe Royumble!
First off, not only do I like the possibilities of this match, but I also like the way they're building it. This is a totally serious angle between two men who are equals — one who's done it all, and the other who is on his way to doing it all. The battle of one-upsmanship is something I'm really enjoying. And the idea that Jericho and Michaels could start off as "dual No. 1 entrants" into the rumble is genius — obviously leading to both men lasting close to the end, prolonging their feud to WrestleMania, where they can cap it off with Shawn Michaels' farewell match. Should make for some damn good TV, and re-elevate Chris Jericho's character immensely.
— masterofpigeons


Jericho and HBK as equals could result in one thing: HBK respecting Jericho. If HBK respects Jericho, and crowns him as the new "show stoppa," and the WWE keeps track with the less annoying character for Jericho — this could be the reverse of the slow-burn heel turn that Jericho had thanks to his feud with The Rock. If done correctly, Jericho could be the όberface Raw sorely needs.
— bigfatgoalie


"RNN" Stands for "Some Acronyms Are Hard to Work With"
I said it before, and I'll say it again: Orton will be the breakout star of 2003. Back during Raw's shitty Katie Vick days (Oct.-Nov.), Orton's RNN updates were the only bright spot on the show. I've missed him over the last few weeks and was so happy to see him show up on Raw, during the Y2J/HBK confrontation no less!

Orton isn't outstanding in the ring yet, but he's solid. He's much better to watch than big slugs like Bautisita. He has a lot of potential to improve there. Also, he's got a great character. His schtick is hot, and he's already a pro on the mic (better than all of the other 2002 rookies will ever be).
As simple as some of his comments are, they are worth a million bucks in gold — like when he told HBK that there was a "new Sexy Boy in town."

And doesn't his heel turn from the όber-babyface that he was in the summer remind you of when Rocky Maivia became The Rock? And we all know where that went. Orton is going to the top, just like Rocky did. He's going to be huge.
— Slade


Everything You See Is Terrible, But Everything You Miss Is Pure Gold
What the hell is the deal with things happening "during the commercial break"? Are they so desperate to encourage people to come to the shows that they're making it look like you only see important things if you're in the arena?
— supermercado


Jamal Will See You At 3 O'Clock High
I went to school in Pensacola, FL., with Jamal of Three Minute Warning. He was a pretty cool dude and frequently told me he'd kick the ass of anybody who fucked with me. I didn't doubt him either.

One time, a guy I ate lunch with wound up fighting him after school and got his faced turned into something resembling raw ground beef. I remember the guy saying at the lunch table that to beat Matt (Jamal's real name), he was going to have to "stick and move, stick and move."
Unfortunately, his plan didn't work too well because he didn't "move" fast enough after his first "stick" and ended up getting thrown to the ground and pummeled. I distinctly remember Jamal being on top of him and punching his head into the ground about fifty times. It was God awful.

But the thing I remember most was that Jamal's dad, Sika, would come to his football games and bring the whole Samoan family. It was a trip seeing cats like the Islanders and Rikishi kicking it in the stands watching the game.

Also, if you think Jamal is big, you should see his sister!
— Eli


Irritatingly Cryptic Inside-Reference that Scaia Will Be Called on the Carpet to Explain

This kind of reminds me of an OO-only version of the alt.fan.don.no-soul.simmons gang from RSPW (circa 1994-5-ish).

And if that isn't the ultimate in-joke, I don't know what is....
— Rick "Templar" Scaia

THIS WEEK'S STATS
Most Frequent Subject: WWE is WCW; WWE will go bankrupt; the road to Wrestlemania, Al Wilson and Dawn Marie.
Most Spammer-Like Poster: Ryan O'Reily, or one or two people who keep creating new screen names in order to post as many as three totally idiotic comments.
Biggest Happenings: The topic of the week works as intended; good discussion all around.
Poster most enamored of prison sex, rough trade and spelling like someone striking a keyboard with a mallet — who also has a huge asinine Jpeg: Ryan O'Reily.


E-MAIL THE EDITOR
SEE MORE OF THE SAME IN THE OO FORUMS


 
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NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy

 

 

 


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