OO Column: Two out of Three Falls by Mark Coale (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, Wrestl

TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
SmackDown Spoilers... In Person
April 16, 2003

by Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine/OnlineOnslaught.com

Dark Match 1: Najavo Warrior & Brad Hunter over Phil Brown and Dean Baldwin. Hunter gets the pin with an urunage into a sit-out bomb.

Dark Match 2: Dawn Marie (Wilson) over Alexis Laree. Dawn gets the win when she breaks up the Ten Punch in the corner and puts her feet on the ropes.

Velocity Matches:

Team Angle over Los Chiquares (sp) - The masked jobber team looked suspiciously like Joey Matthews and Christian York. Having seen Joey and Christian for years in MCW, this was the worst I ever saw this, missing spots right and left. Don't know if it was the hoods or nerves or what, but not up to their level. Haas made Christian submit to the Haas of Pain.

Bill Demott over Pat Cusick -- Quick squash with the powerbomb.

Interview backstage with Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore. They have a new follower: Crash Holly.

Crash Holly w/Shannon Moore over Funaki -- Holly wins with a roll-up.

Kanyon debuts (without Jackie Gayda). He says he recovered in Tibet, learning good and evil from a master at the Tree of Woe. Could it be Kevin Sullivan? As he's giving his rap, with the lisp gimmick, which most people didn't pick up on, Rhyno came out to start the match.

Rhyno over Kanyon with the Al Gore.

SD! starts

Show begins a recap of the # 1 contender tournament.

A-Train and Big Show over Tajiri and Mysterio -- So very depressing> Lots of big man, little man spots, including the giant holding Rey one-handed for a good minute or so. Albert gets the win over Tajiri with the Bicycle Kick. After the match, as the heels were leaving, Rey does a 619 around the ringpost to knock down Show.

After the commercial, Show is fuming at the Cycylone Fence about being embarassed by Rey. He's going to ask Stephanie for a match with Rey. We later learn this match has been signed.

In the ring, a big interview segment. It begins with Cole and Lesnar. Brocks sells the WM match and the Shooting Star Press. As he's talking about how much he respects Angle, Cena (in old school Denver Nuggets attire) hits the ring to challenge Brock. After a few minutes of doing so, Benoit comes out. He says that no one is better than the title. Back and forth between the three. Brock shakes Cena's hand, but when Brock shakes Benoit's hand, Cena jumps Benoit and then runs away.

We saw a video, featuring old war footage and John Kennedy, telling us that "Mr. America" is coming. No clue what this is about. It had a heel tone to it, but is that really culturally wise?

Eddy Guerrero (w/Chavito) over Jamie Noble (w/Nidia). Before the match, Team Angle hit the ramp. Benjamin did a stereotypical Hispanic accent, while Haas said that Eddy's grandma was the best house keeper ever. Good short match between the two. Chavo prevented Nidia from interfering and Eddy hit the Frog Splash for the win.

After the match, some racy mic work from Los Guerreros. Eddy said he had heard that Team Angle practicing tacking each other down and enjoyed "going down on each other." Chavo said they bring new meaning to the term "you suck."

Backstage, Nathan Jones beats up all three members of the FBI. They tease revenge later.

Backstage, Torrie warms up when interrupted by Sable. Rena says she needs help with her zipper, then says she has no where to change and takes off her top (back to the camera). Torrie leaves with Rena holding her hands over her breasts.

Top of the Hour, Piper's Pit. We see an old clip with the Snuka angle and then last week's angle with Rikishi. He introduces his new protete, Sean O'Haire (whose motif is now spiders). O"Haire puts Piper over and who should appear (frighteningly I predicted this) but Jimmy Snuka. Piper hides behind O'Haire. Piper tries to be friendly, but Snuka will have none of it. Eventually, O'Haire superkicks Snuka, leading to Rikishi hitting the ring. Add Rikishi vs. O'Haire (w/Piper) to Backlash.

Torrie over Nidia with Sable as guest ref. Torrie wins with a Tornado DDT, as Sable dropkicks Noble (who was at ringside). AFter the match, Sable raises Torrie's hand and then keeps holding it, teasing more of the Sapphic love.

Matt Hardy (w/Moore) over Brian Kendrick. A good, short match that may have ended prematurely. Kendrick took a spill off the top rope while he and Matt were up there. Rather than redo the spot, Matt immediately hit the Twist of Fate for the win. One would expect a missed spot to be repeated, but that one wasn't.

Nathan Jones over Nunzio by DQ. This match maybe lasted two minutes. Jones was choking Nunzio when Chuck and Johnny hit the ring to end the match. They then beat up Jones outside and then dropped the ring steps on Jones' ankle. He sold the injury and had to be helped to the back. A one-way ambulance ride to Louisville, we hope?

Somewhere in here, we saw an APA visiting the troops vignette, which got a cheap pop in a military town like Norfolk.

Main Event -- Cena over Benoit to become Number One Contender. Before the match, Cena during his rap called Benoit "a Dynamite Wanna Be." A nice back and forth match. We got two German suplexes and a tope suicida from Benoit, but no locomotion suplexes. The finish gave when Cena reverses the Crossface into an attempted DVD. Benoit goes for a roll-up, but Cena drops down and covers him clean for the pinfall.

Benoit poses after the match, but no big post-match hijinx.

The bigger story may be the peculiar absences of Stephanie, Vince, Hogan and the Undertaker.

A very average show. If I had missed this on Thursday night, it wouldn't have bothered me.

E-MAIL MARK
BROWSE THE 2/3 FALLS ARCHIVE

Mark Coale is the publisher of Odessa Steps Magazine, a quarterly magazine devoted to all facets of popular culture.

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