by Erin Anderson
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

This year's No Way Out card looks largely uninspiring with the exception of the main event, a match we could be talking about for years if the right man walks away with the title. The rest of the show doesn't look quite as promising, however. With only six announced matches, I'd expect one to be added at the last minute, probably a Holly v. Rhyno rematch. Since it's not announced and probably won't matter in the long run, I won't cover it here.

Rey Mysterio v. Chavo Guerrero (Cruiserweight Title)

A few weeks ago, Mysterio found his buddy Eddie laid out backstage and immediately placed blame on the two most likely perpetrators: Chavos Jr. and Sr. A backstage scuffle ensued, and the next week Chavito professed his annoyance with Rey: the popularity, the music video, the cover of Smackdown! Magazine. A feud was born, though Tazz and Cole surprisingly have not reminded the audience of the history between the two, or that Rey's first WWE match was against Chavo.

If there was ever a match to open the show, then this is it. Given that there are only six announced matches for the show, this one should be given plenty of time to pump up the crowd for the rest of the night and redeem the ridiculously short Mysterio/Noble contest from the Rumble. Outside interference shouldn't be much of a factor, since Rey-Rey has brought in "Boxing Legend that Nobody's Ever Heard Of" Jorge Paez to balance out any potential shenanigans on the part of Chavo Sr. I expect nothing less than 15 minutes of lucha goodness from both of these men, especially considering that they were both given significant promo time on last night's Smackdown!

Prediction: Chavo Guerrero. Chavo desperately needs the momentum after an unceremonious ending to his feud with Eddie, and I like the babyface chasing the title heading into Wrestlemania.

Jamie Noble (w/ blindfold) v. Nidia

After Nidia was blinded by Tajiri's elusive black mist, Noble decided to take advantage of his girlfriend's handicap by tossing her into matches to score some victories at her expense. Nidia finally regained her eyesight and saw the proverbial (and literal) light, costing Noble a title match against Rey Mysterio. After Nidia tossed the contents of Noble's wallet into the crowd last week, he demanded a match and got it… now with the added stipulation that he must wear a blindfold.

This doesn't qualify so much as a match as it does a Sports Entertainment Segment, but I wouldn't write it off as a giant Pile of Suck just yet. Don't forget that Nidia is a trained wrestler, and can convincingly get some offense in on a blindfolded Noble (who is not much bigger than Nidia, so it won't look ridiculous). The crowd heat should be quite good as well, given the average wrestling fan's aversion to man-on-woman violence. This has the potential to be an entertaining little crapfest.

Prediction: Nidia. With Noble blindfolded, it won't really damage his credibility to lose to a woman in this case. Besides, what kind of message would a win for Jamie send? "It's okay to put your defenseless girlfriend in harm's way, because you'll get to beat her up in the end"? Doubtful. Nidia gets the win and moves to RAW, where she can really be a factor in the women's division.

Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hottie v. The Bashams and Shaniqua (WWE Tag Team Titles)

One of two feud-less matches on the card. Sure, they've fought a few times. Sure, Scotty and Rikishi defeated the Bashams for the titles last week. The problem here is that the fans haven't been given a reason to care. There has been no promo time or character development for either team, and I can't fathom why Haas and Benjamin couldn't have been put into this match instead. The only interesting aspect of the match is Shaniqua's involvement. As Tazz and Cole alluded to, what happens if she gets the pin on Sunday? Does she become a tag team champion?

While this match probably won't suck outright, I don't expect it to be anything more than a match you would see on a regular Thursday night. That's all that really needs to be said here.

Prediction: Shaniqua gets the pin and becomes one-half of the tag team champions. Why? Because it's the only really interesting outcome, and the only possible reason for including Shaniqua in the first place.

The APA v. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas

The inclusion of this match had me scratching my head, and it speaks volume about the weak nature of the undercard. This is the second of two feudless matches for No Way Out. Like Rikishi & Scotty v. The Bashams, these two teams have collided before with little fanfare and no buildup (aside from Bradshaw mentioning that Benjamin bears a striking resemblance to Shaniqua a few months back). This screams "filler," but would probably make a decent palate cleanser between the three-way and the main event.

The match itself? It will either suck or be watchable. Take your pick.

Prediction: Haas and Benjamin. There is no storyline here that leads to a logical outcome, so I chose the better tag team to pick up the win.

Kurt Angle v. John Cena v. Big Show (Triple Threat, #1 Contender's Match)

This is more like it. Kurt Angle came close to winning the Royal Rumble and even closer to winning Smackdown!'s version, and wants to head into Wrestlemania as the #1 contender. The man lives for medals and titles, so it's only logical that he gets one last try for the big one. Big Show has been on a spectacular run lately, looking like an absolute monster in both Rumbles. And John Cena is the man who eliminated Show in the Smackdown! Rumble, to return the favor after being tossed by Show the previous month.

There's all kinds of potential here for a great match: Kurt Angle and Cena have had a few excellent outings together, and Show has proven how effective he can be in three-way contests with better workers to carry him (Angle and Lesnar). His recent run as an unstoppable monster adds even more drama to the match, and it will be interesting to see how he is booked against two men who have demonstrated their ability to hit their finishers on him in the past. Look for Cena and Angle to work together to take Show out of the equation and turn it into a one-on-one contest.

I see only one clear winner here, and that man is Kurt Angle. All signs are pointing to a U.S. Title feud between Show and Cena at Wrestlemania, and of the three, Angle is the most proven and dependable in a main-event situation.

Prediction: Angle. He's the most logical choice in this situation.

Brock Lesnar v. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Championship)

After foregoing the Royal Rumble to take care of some family business with Chavo, Eddie Guerrero overcame a backstage attack and a trip to the hospital to win the Smackdown! Rumble and a shot at Brock Lesnar's title. Brock has responded with wonderful heelish-ness by belittling Eddie's Mexican heritage, throwing his past drug problems back in his face, telling him that he can't win the big one, and dancing like an idiot. It's essentially the same thing that Triple H did to Booker T leading into last year's Wrestlemania (minus the dancing), but in this case, Eddie actually has a good chance of winning.

A match between these two will automatically be good, but whether it qualifies as "great" depends on if Brock decides to utilize his elusive mat-wrestling skills. We saw a glimpse of it against Angle last year, and an opponent like Eddie presents a great opportunity to remind the fans of his amateur background. A wrestler like Brock shouldn't be classified as just a brawler, and this match can be the one that cements his ability to mix up his style in the eyes of the fans.

Conventional wisdom says that Lesnar goes over here because Eddie got the last laugh before the pay-per-view, but I'm going to go against the grain. The wildcard here is Goldberg, who will be sitting at ringside, patiently waiting for a ref bump. Lesnar v. Goldberg is almost a lock for Wrestlemania, and it's a "dream match" that doesn't need a title to make it seem important. Considering that, I say that Lesnar loses because of Goldberg's interference, which sets up their match for WM while leaving the title contest to Eddie and Angle.

I imagine that the idea of a workrate classic between two strong characters for the Wrestlemania XX title match is very appealing to the higher-ups in WWE, and a red-hot Eddie Guerrero versus a freshly-turned heel Kurt Angle would fit the bill quite nicely. Lesnar/Goldberg can stand on its own.

Prediction: Guerrero, with some assistance from Goldberg.

Is this show worth your $35? Probably not. But if Eddie walks away with the title, the fans will damn sure go home happy. Enjoy the show, and say a prayer for Latino Heat.

E-MAIL ERIN
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Erin Anderson is an Atlanta native and a student at Georgia State University. Since writing about wrestling didn't go over too well with her English professors, she vents here at Online Onslaught.

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