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Author: Subject: "Allah is not my god"
OO Kyle
The Rowdy One






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posted on 4-23-2004 at 03:51 PM Edit Post
"Allah is not my god"

http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/4/222004c.asp

From the article:
"Allah is not my god -- my God is Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God," she says. "And I feel it's against my constitutional rights to have to hear this at sunrise, four more times at sunset, which may be ten o'clock, blaring in my ears, telling me about their god."

Allah isn't my god either. But then, neither is Jesus Christ. I don't have a god. I guess I missed out on the god sale at Walmart- dammit people, I count on you to remind me of these things! Where the fuck was JEB when the god sale was occuring? I'll bet the selfish bastard was down buying all the cool gods, so he could scalp them later in front of St. John's Cathedral.

I can see him now, hunched in a dark alley wearing a trenchcoat stuffed with gods: "Psst, hey buddy, wanna buy Kali, cheap? I have a whole set of Catholic Saints, and these aren't your cheap knock-off saints, these are the real deal!"

Seems like any time somebody wants to justify whatever silly-assed intolerant thing they're doing, they invoke "their" god. "My sex life is between me and my god!" Apparently, some gods come shaped as sex toys- handy for those lonely nights when the wife is out of town, leaving you with nothing but the Spice channel, a bottle of Jergens, and "your" god.

I believe in God. But I don't own Him. He doesn't belong to me. He's not some personalized god, custom-made for me and my personal prejudices. I realized a long time ago that God doesn't really like most of the things I do. He really wishes I'd change. He thinks my overuse of profanity is a little tacky. He'd really prefer it if I never got stupid-drunk and had sex in the alley in back of a dance club again. He thinks my addiction to flaming people on message boards is, frankly, childish.

But He still loves me. He loves RJ. He loves Eli. He loves Krydor and Jeb, because His love isn't dependant on whether we believe in Him, or how we believe in Him.

God gets a lot of bad press, mainly because most people don't want to belong to God, they want god to belong to them- "my god". "My god" doesn't like you. Pretty much shorthand for "I don't like you, and I'm going to use god as my excuse for treating you exactly opposite of the way that God has told me to treat you."

I'm a Mormon. Doesn't usually cause problems- sort of an ice-breaker, really. It always gets a laugh when I meet new people- if religion comes up, I say something like "Yeah, I'm Mormon- is your wife available?" (Mormons no longer practice polygamy, which I'm sure most of you know.)

But occasionally, I'll run in to someone that'll say "You guys aren't Christian!". Okay, well, the real name of the church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"- "Mormons" is a nickname. So, I always ask, why aren't we "Christian"? The answer: "You don't worship the same Jesus that we do."

Me, I was unaware that there's more than one. What I usually say in reply is: "Well, I feel sorry for you then, because you're obviously following the wrong one." After all, the Jesus that *I* follow is the God of everyone. To Muslims, he's Allah. To Jews, He was Jehovah. Before that, he was El.

But here's an interesting fact about God: He doesn't really like names. Seriously. His first name, "El", means exactly what you'd think it means: God. It's a generic term, like "boss".

Once upon a time, a man named Moses had a conversation with God. One of the first things Moses asked was "What's your name?" Not "Why do bad things happen to good people" or "Why do men have nipples"- Moses asked "What's your name?"

This upset God just a little. See, He, being all-knowing, knew that Moses was just looking for something to compete with the Egyptians. The Egyptians had all kinds of cool gods- Horus and Seth and Isis: Isis even got her own children's show on Saturday mornings, for heaven's sake!

God realized that Moses was looking for merchandising rights. Moses knew how much cash the Pharoah was generating on his "Osiris 3:16" t-shirts, and he realized that he was never going to get the Children of Israel to go anywhere without some good marketing material. So, his big question to God: "What's your name?"

God responded: "I am". Now get your ass out there and do what I told you, and quit worry about what to call me. I'm GOD, and I'm beyond your infantile need to have a mascot for your beliefs.

All Moses heard was "I am... wow, that's 'Jehovah' in Hebrew! First thing, I'll trademark it, and make it illegal for anyone to say it! THIS IS FREAKING GREAT!"

God groaned, shook his head, said "I should have told him my name was Betty- he would have kept that quiet for the rest of eternity."

Thereafter, every time someone asked God His name, He gave them a different answer- usually some generic, descriptive term. "I am the Alpha and Omega." "I am the Prince of Peace." Or, more preferably, nice, general names like "God" or "Allah", which pretty much just mean "El".

In a way, Atheists are more honest than most other people. They deny the existance of ALL gods. They don't pull this hypocritical nonsense of basing their faith on what name God is being called by a particular group of people. The irony being, of course, that God works with and through Atheists the same way that he works with and through every other person on the planet- except that Atheists tend to put up less resistance, because they don't have "their god" standing between them and their conscience. Whenever humans choose good instead of evil, are selfless instead of selfish, choose peace instead of violence- God is there. So where do you think God would prefer to be- a meeting of Atheists who're forming a charity to help the poor, or a Christian Revival meeting, where the Preacher is spewing hatred and intolerance of everyone that doesn't follow his particular religious mascot?

I'm not saying Atheism is the way to go- nor am I saying it's not. I'm saying God exists, and He exists regardless of the lables we try and stick on Him. I'm saying that god does not belong to you- all you can do is try to belong to God. There is nothing uglier or more inherently irreligious than trying to use God to justify hatred and narrow-mindedness.

/rant





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mcian
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 04:14 PM Edit Post
Personally I am an atheist. What my problem is that when I meet people who are Christian they tell me I am going to hell when they find out I do not believe in their god. First off I do not believe in hell and so there is no reason for me to fear it. Second problem I have is that if there is a god, from what I am told he created the earth and the rest of the universe and gave us all life and is generally a pretty nice guy, that he would choose to send me to hell for simply not believing in him. Generally I think I lead a pretty good life, I do not kill or steal or do any evil things that would get me into trouble. But simply because I do not believe in an all powerful god that can control the fate of everything in the cosmos I will be burning in hell.

My problems is not really with God but how the name of god has been used for centuries. It is the source of so much hate and strife in the world that people invoke it for any reason. Centuries of groups fighting each other because they have slightly different beliefs, I can not believe that the Catholics and Protestants fought so many battles over slightly different beliefs in the bible and the teachings of Christ. Also this can be extended to the muslims, jews and the Christians as well, the god that they all believe in is the same god yet the fight and kill each other because jews do not accept Christ and Christians do not accept Muhammed as a prophet.

People like Kirk Cameron piss me off. I just posted this in the TV section as he is a former TV star but he wants to tell everyone they are going to hell unless they follow his nutjob cult.

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/





"you are just a piece of shit who probably has no fucking life and no fucking friends so you spend all your time online thinking you are cool."

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OO Kyle
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 04:30 PM Edit Post
You're just not going to let the Kirk Cameron thing go, are you? I sense some sort of "Growing Pains" trauma early in your youth.





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Bonestein
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 04:37 PM Edit Post
No, he's just mad he doesn't have enough Canadian coins saved up to buy that Kirk Cameron kit. Which is amazing, you'd think he'd have enough, considering how many coins he has weighing him down every day.

And just so I'm not completely derailing this thread, I have found a post of Kyle's that I agree with. Nice one.





That's racism man! I love to racism bro!

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mcian
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 04:39 PM Edit Post
Ok drop the fucking coin joke already - stupid saskatchewaner (what the fuck do you call yourselfs anyway?)

Well considering I did the test and went 0 / 10 on the comandments I think that I need to get my kit fast.





"you are just a piece of shit who probably has no fucking life and no fucking friends so you spend all your time online thinking you are cool."

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Krydor
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 08:40 PM Edit Post
McIan is an Atheist? Fuck, now I have to dedicate my life to Kirk Cameron. I think I'm gonna send Kirk Cameron a Twonie!

Not so much interested in the whole "how God works" aspect of this already derailed thread, but of the story behind the first paragraph.

I'd be rightly pissed, as well, if the local muslim community decided that their right to freedom of religion included the 5 times daily "call to prayer" starting at 5 AM. Slightly more intrusive than my JW buddies.

I don't so much mind church bells. Nice little melodies every now and again. Has anyone here actually heard the caterwauling that is the call to prayer?






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LuckyLopez
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posted on 4-23-2004 at 08:56 PM Edit Post
Actually Krydor, while I agree with your point the article actually does cover that. The mosque apparently agreed that some of the times for prayer would be quite disruptive and seem to have agreed not to air them between 10 PM and 6 AM.

The article also points out that 1 third of the population is Muslim, so this isn't the efforts of a small percentage of people disrupting everyone else (as it would be in my town, or I imagine most of ours). I still agree with your basic point of religion aside, this being a bit disruptive... but personally I've got two churches with their own bells, an air raid siren, a freight train a few times a day and a bunch of volounteer firefighters who set their siren off to announce happy hour.

One other little aside... the woman being interviewed is OBVIOUSLLY a fine individual. I realize that Kyle swiped that particular quote because it was what struck him... but its the next lines that strike me as to the nature of the woman.

quote:
"I do not impose Jesus on them because He's quiet," the Hamtramck resident says. "Jesus calls in a quiet, gentle voice -- He doesn't have to blare over a PA system to call His followers.

"We know when it's time to go to church; we pray constantly -- we don't need a call to prayer. My life is a prayer, and I resent this."

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Blown Spot
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posted on 4-27-2004 at 10:33 PM Edit Post
Kyle, why does God love only you, RJ, Eli, Krydor and Jeb?

I'm feeling a little left out here.





"I like to drink wine more than I used to... anyway I'm drinking more."

"John Cena is poopy." - CM Punk to 6 year old kid on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

"What I said was deliberately untrue. However, that does not make it a lie. It's what we call in sophisticated debate terms a "implyo-obliqué-prevariclative," which is a statement that deliberately runs counter to the truth and is not factually supported — which is totally different from a lie..."

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OO Kyle
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posted on 4-27-2004 at 11:23 PM Edit Post
Because we wrote Him a letter asking Him to hate you. Never underestimate the power of traditional mail.





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