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Author: Subject: Billy Gunn Countdown?
nilesanderson
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 01:31 AM Edit Post
Billy Gunn Countdown?

Ok, I don't have a problem with Billy Gunn. And I didn't mind this video package either. But shouldn't video packages be reserved for guys who, you know, the fans actually care about? Now maybe if he's making a heel turn, but even then... What's the deal here?






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borntorun
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 01:57 AM Edit Post
17 DAYS

You said Billy Gunn countdown. I'm giving everybody THE Billy Gunn countdown. That's right, from now until the Royal Rumble, I'm going to reminisce about some of my personal favorite William Gunn highlights. 17 Rushes of Adrenaline. And if you're not down with that, I got two waaaaards for ya....

Today's moment, brought to you by Sour Skittles: A photo album review of Billy's most recent return!

From the end of 2002 until June 2003, Billy was recovering from further harm to a combined arm and shoulder injury that, unfortunately, has been nagging him for the last few years. It was all worth it, however, when on an otherwise mild summer evening, Mr. Ass made his spectacular and surprising (to those who don't read spoilers) return!



However, Bill's 2003 Smackdown! debut match was a toughie: He was scheduled for a one-on-one encounter with the A-Train, who had been on something of a hot streak over the past few months. Could Billy tame the Hellish HipHop Hippo?



Was there any doubt? Billy defeated Albert cleanly with the Fame-asser, getting the pinfall under ten minutes. An inspiring and spectacular comeback, equal only to the comeback he had 2 years before (see future countdown item).

In fact, it was so phenomenal that somebody else (besides me) wanted to run out there and congratulate him...



Ladies and gentleman...Your winner, and New storyline boyfriend of a top-selling Playboy Diva...Billy Gunn!

Ah, Monte. What an unbelievable night. Oh, and as if emotions weren't on an already vertigo-inducing level, our final image of the segment was of Mr. and Mrs. Ass walking up the entrance ramp, the tightest little couple in wrestling history.



Look for another Billy Gunn highlight tomorrow, on YOUR official "Mr. Ass Returns Really, Really Soon" message board!

[Edited on 1-9-2004 by borntorun]





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Slade
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 02:46 PM Edit Post
All hail Billy Gunn!

I hope your 3rd best moment in Billy Gunn's career is the same as Billy Gunn's not-so-spectacular 3rd best moment in his career. That really was an amazing moment in his career. I really dig that mullet, too.





The award for the most laughable cringe-worthy attempt at clever colour commentary goes to:

"When you're dating The Architect, you start to get some more plans." - Renee Young, Extreme Rules 2019

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Laner
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 03:05 PM Edit Post
So are they positioning him as a heel? 'cause I can't see this angle leading to any kind of fan favor.






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madiq
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 03:32 PM Edit Post
Apparently, the WWE *just* realized that there is value in having Bily Gunn play a self-centered arrogant narcissist who thinks that we care about him as much as he cares about himself. Now all he needs is reproduced theme music with piped-in "Billy" chants (complete with convenient pauses for the fans to chant "SUCKS!")

Now all he has to do is act like a prick toward his valet, leaving the door open for a sweet-faced niceguy cruiserweight (Spanky? Paul London? Kidman?) to give his lady some attention, and receive repeated thrashings. This may resemble the Test push slightly, but since the "Top 3" resembles RNN, it's all good...

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blackdragon
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posted on 1-9-2004 at 05:41 PM Edit Post
All I can say is that I hope some tag team down the line steals that backbreaking Rocker Dropper finisher. Now that's tag team goodness.





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borntorun
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posted on 1-10-2004 at 04:00 PM Edit Post
16 Days!

Whoops, I missed a day. And it was the second time. Sue me.

I know you're begging for it...another Billy Gunn Moment!

Billy has had his share of feuds over the years, tangling with such superstars as The Rock, Road Dogg, and Chris Benoit. He even had a series of matches against The Big Show, which usually ended with Billy staring up at the lights.

.

Today's highlight, though, is the unforgettable team of the Big Show and Billy Gunn! These two started talking about the underperformance of each--Billy criticized Big Show's weight and lazy exercise habits, while Big Show turned the tables and said something bad about Billy that I can't remember. Whatever the case, Big Show is a dirty liar, because there is nothing wrong with Bill.



Regardless of their relationship, this odd couple formed a nice tag team for a few weeks. They debated on a few names (Big Asses?) and I believe they eventually settled on the Show Gunns. If they would have came out in ninja outfits and guitars, that would have been cooler, because ninjas rock!

Here's to a revival of the Show Gunns somewhere down the line, even if it's only for one night!





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borntorun
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posted on 1-10-2004 at 04:28 PM Edit Post
15 Days (For Real!)

We're locked and loaded for Gunn moment #15...

Remember the Harris Brothers/Creative Control in WCW? No? Well do you remember Skull and 8 Ball (or Chainz, I always forget which ones were the twins?) Anyway, they were bald twins that had many encounters with the New Age Outlaws when I first started wrestling.

If you were around then, the images of these tough guys coming down to the ring in the 1998 style WWF is probably ingrained into your brain. They were THAT memorable. They can be called predecessors to the Undertaker, because they rode MOTORCYCLES down the entrance ramp to get to their matches in a shorter amount of time. So, the Undertaker is jealous of these guys. You know who wasn't jealous? The New Age Outlaws!


DX was DEFINITELY known for mocking each and every wrestler in the company. The Nation of Domination, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Seargent Slaughter (ok, those last two were HHH and HBK, but Billy is still in DX so he counts) all fell prey to the biting satire of DeGeneration X. Anyway, not to be outdone by the bikertwins, Road Dogg and Bad Ass took to the ring in scooters...just like Kurt Angle did to mock the Undertaker 2 years later. Therefore, Kurt Angle is a rip-off of Billy Gunn.



The only other thing I remember about this feud is that the Outlaws won pretty much every time. Yeah, the scooters is all I had. But, look for more New Age Outlaws highlights further down the count...uh, down.

[Edited on 1-10-2004 by borntorun]





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Froggie
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posted on 1-10-2004 at 08:11 PM Edit Post
I'd agree with this...having video packages for Billy Gunn is the equivelant of putting Bob Bolly in a World title feud: No one cares about either!!

I find it rather odd that they're doing the video package thing for Gunn, but did nothing for Booker T, and Billy Kidman who both made in-ring comebacks after injuries in 2003. In both cases both guys were brought back as surprises, and their comebacks essentially meant nothing. Bookers feuding with Mark Henry, and Kidmans on Velocity every freaking week!

I think if they did do the video package thing for Kidman and Booker, they'd be much more over than they are now. It would've been much more beneficial for Kidman, as hes the less over of the two, and could've used the added exposure. Both guys are great workers, and IMO would've benefitted long term had WWE put as much effort into their comebacks as they are Billy Gunns

-Froggie

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madiq
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posted on 1-10-2004 at 08:38 PM Edit Post
But we already know the refrain: Billy Gunn and Bob Holly are company men....

I don't know, but there are a lot of times when these nebulous concepts like "paying dues" and "loyalty" run contrary to the two goals of putting forth an entertaining product and making money.

That said, I think that the Billy Gunn heel push could take, especially if he put over a lot of cruiserweights, giving them U.S. title credibility. He has a nice power moveset, and he has an ability to look like a jackass. I'll give it a chance.

But on a slightly unrelated vein, the other Billy had to have felt a little jealous seeing his wife hugged up next to Gunn, especially since Kidman needs the CPR that is Torrie being his valet as much as, if not more than Billy Gunn. And although Kidman can't ham it up like Billy Gunn, I'm sure his semi-geeky, "Gosh, I'm so lucky to be gettin some of that!" face would endear him to fans...

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LuckyLopez
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posted on 1-10-2004 at 08:58 PM Edit Post
I gotta say that I enjoyed the silly Gunn Highlight thing from this week's Smackdown. It was clearly over the top on purpose and clearly suggested a heel turn... I'm game. Then again I've never been the sort of guy who sees Gunn or Holly and thinks of Kidman or Booker T. I understand it, I just never did it.

My bizarre fandom of Billy Kidman now has two new hopes. Hope #1: Gunn mistreats Torrie and Billy comes swooping in to save his lady love. Hope #2: WWE fires Kidman and there's a new NWA TNA X Division wrestler. I'm good either way... so of course Sean O'Haire or Shannon Moore will save Torrie just to piss me off...

And BtR, you did a Show Gunns reference! I'm with you as long as I don't inadvertently scroll down this thread and into a picture of Billy popping a pimple on his butt.





He smiled.

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borntorun
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posted on 1-11-2004 at 06:07 AM Edit Post
14 Days!

Only 2 weeks until Billy Gunn is back! Like everybody else, when I think "Billy Gunn," I automatically think "what a great moveset!" We all know that he has the best Jackhammer in the business, and his Stinger Splash is unparalleled. This highlight is a collection of some of my personal favorite Mr. Assmaneuvers. HA! I made that up, and it sounds dirty! Anyway, I'm going to keep the babble to a minimum, because we all know that pictures speaks a thousand words apiece, depending on the shutterspeed.

Gorilla Press Slam! He's strong!



Running!



Ring Psychology!



Tilt-A-Whirl Slam!



Acting!



The One and Only!



Fame-asser!



Giddy-up!



Hopefully he'll use each and every one of these moves in his big return at the Royal Rumble. Maybe he'll even bust out the one-man spike piledriver.

See you Monday with yet another Mr. Ass moment, courtesy of Bod Body Spray!





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borntorun
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posted on 1-12-2004 at 02:59 AM Edit Post
13 Days!

We're a baker's dozen away from the return of Billy Gunn. People have been wondering what gimmick he's going to use: Bad Ass? Mr. Ass? The One? Ambiguously Gay? Well, word around the intranet is that no matter what he's not coming back as...Rockabilly!

His Rockabilly gimmick happened before I started watching wrestling, so I'm not exactly the best one to talk about it. I do know that the gimmick consisted of:

1) The Honkey Tonk Man
2) Guitars
3) A black cowboy shirt with dozens of sequins
3) A simply fabulous haircut



Given those intangibles, I'm surprised the gimmick wasn't an all-out success. What I did find in my research, though, is that even though he won tag-team gold as rockabilly, Road Dogg Jessie James didn't like the gimmick and invited him to be his fellow bad ass in the New Age Outlaws. I heard that worked out okay. No matter what the case, we all know that the D-O-Double G isn't as good as the Honkey Tonk Man.



Here's to you, Rockabilly! Although yu've got country in your heart, you're a symphony in the ring.



Look for another Billy Gunn moment sometime within the next 48 hours!





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Antelope
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posted on 1-12-2004 at 02:51 PM Edit Post
Borntorun I just have to say that I am eagerly anticipating the rest of this countdown. A true joy to read!
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olfuzzybastard
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posted on 1-12-2004 at 04:57 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by borntorun


His Rockabilly gimmick happened before I started watching wrestling, so I'm not exactly the best one to talk about it. I do know that the gimmick consisted of:

1) The Honkey Tonk Man
2) Guitars
3) A black cowboy shirt with dozens of sequins
3) A simply fabulous haircut



That was about it, really.

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OO Kyle
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posted on 1-12-2004 at 05:38 PM Edit Post
Best. Billy Gunn. Thread. EVER.





Stand back! There's a HURRICANE coming through! Several, in fact!

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mcian
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posted on 1-12-2004 at 07:39 PM Edit Post
I thought that the honky tonk man now spent all his time promoting porn or something like that.





"you are just a piece of shit who probably has no fucking life and no fucking friends so you spend all your time online thinking you are cool."

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borntorun
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posted on 1-14-2004 at 01:16 AM Edit Post
12 Days! Do I Really Have to Wait This Long?

The interminable build-up continues as in roughly 288 Hours the Royal Rumble PPV starts, and a new Billy Gunn era begins.

I'm not sure if you've ever noticed, but Billy Gunn has a thing about butts. No, he doesn't just love to watch 'em, nor does his sole enjoyment arise from his desire to kick 'em. His fascination stems deeper than his song. The One doesn't simply love fantastic butts.

He IS a fantastic butt. This post is a tribute to the true Assman.



For better or for worse (and we all know which one *I* believe), Billy Gunn has identified himself by his posterior. He's not the wrestler with a phenomenal behind. His very life force is intertwined with the two cheeks stuffed in his wrestling gear. To explain, the Undertaker earned his name because he was supposedly kind of like an undertaker. The Giant was, well, a giant. By the same air-tight analogy, Bill can go by no name out side of Mr. Ass.

Booty is in the eye of the beholder, and Billy would say, "See for yourself." So, by popular demand, here you go.



Oh, and before I forget your wish, LuckyLopez:



Check out his ass! And check out his return in just 12 days.





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Timmy
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posted on 1-14-2004 at 12:25 PM Edit Post
That's a pretty sweet ass - squeal piggy!





PSN: grovsie

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borntorun
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posted on 1-15-2004 at 03:40 AM Edit Post
We're about halfway there...11 Days!

11 Days until Billy is Back! Man, it seems like it was just under a week ago that we started getting excited for his return. I haven't been this excited since the eve of my 21st birthday.

No one's bothered to ask, but yes, it is difficult to choose which of Billy Gunn's moments to highlight each and every week. It's like God choosing his favorite living creature, although if I were him I'd go with the mongoose. Those are cool. Regardless, after sifting through the material I came up with this little gem...



Well, look who is all excited to be the Intercontinental champion? Some people have a hard time recalling the IC title reign of Billy Gunn. I don't understand why.

It was a remarkable 19 days.

19 days? What the hell? He won the title from Eddie Guerrero (remember him?) around Thanksgiving 2000, and at the December PPV that year Chris Benoit (who?) made The One tap after a torturous crossface. This is often remembered as the match where he almost paralyzed Benoit.

Rant time: I have friends who bitch about that whenever I bring up Billy Gunn. Sure, complain about a wrestler almost seriously injuring someone else. We all love D-Lo and Owen Hart despite the fact that they really did shorten careers. I mean, the only thing more ironic than complaining about Billy almost hurting Benoit is that Benoit's nickname is THE CRIPPLER FOR A FUCKING REASON!



All right, I couldn't find a good picture, but imagine that the poor unfortunate soul is Sabu. So, if anybody pisses and moans about Billy's almost-accident, please think of this picture.

Man, I'm mad. Oh yeah, Bill had the IC belt for almost 3 weeks. There's your highlight. Jerks.

Come on, Bill. Put me in a good mood.


Thanks buddy. I needed that smile.





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Xfactor
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posted on 1-15-2004 at 07:22 AM Edit Post
Billy almost broke Benoit's neck twice. I'll never let you live it down. Billy's total rumble time = 34 seconds before Benoit tosses him out on his neck onto the concrete floor.
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LuckyLopez
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posted on 1-15-2004 at 08:01 AM Edit Post
Well aren't you and incredibly fair and even minded individual.

But then again Benoit is of course God and does no wrong.





He smiled.

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d-rock
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posted on 1-15-2004 at 10:30 AM Edit Post
I gotta say I'm almost starting to like Billy Gunn, although worrying in equal measure for borntorun's sanity





Wait a minute...

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ModSquad004
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posted on 1-15-2004 at 05:15 PM Edit Post
I've never worried about BTR's sanity. I've always been comfortable that BTR is pretty insane.

Insane in the membrane, Insane in the Brain!





WOOF!

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borntorun
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posted on 1-16-2004 at 04:43 AM Edit Post
10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days! 10 Days!

I must first congratulate Billy Gunn on a fantastic highlight today. I've never seen such intensity in the man, and the sheer joy he had in sharing his accomplishment almost brought a tear to this hardened visage.

But I must wipe that away, because there is more Billy Gunn goodness on the way.

Pop Quiz: How many tag-team titles has Bill won?

Answer: More than you! Hahahahaha. Er, 10. Man, making Q and A funny is hard.

Anyway, Billy Gunn is one of the most decorated tag-teamers in history. Here's some pictures with Bart Gunn and the title belt. We all love pics. I wish Billy had a tag team with a dolphin, because I like pics of dolphins.



Wow, I wonder if they're fraternal or identical twins? I can never tell brothers apart.

On a sidenote, Billy Gunn has always adapted his look to fit his character. Sometimes his spandex says "Mr. Ass." Sometimes it's pink. At other points, it said "Billy." He consistently looks for the best way to sell his gimmick.

So, a bonus look at the greatest achievement in The One's career.

The mustache.



And now my ode, to the tune of "Assman." Bring back the facial hair, my friend.

"I'm a 'stache man.
Yeah, I'm a 'stache man.


I love to grow 'em
I love to stroke 'em
I love to lick 'em
I love to comb 'em
Love to flaunt 'em
I love to watch 'em
I love to pick 'em
And I'm gonna trim 'em

'Cause I'm a 'stache man
Yeah, I'm a 'stache man
Yes I'm a 'stache man (OH!)
I'm a 'stache man

So many 'staches, so little growth
Vince McMahon said, "we need one on you both
I'm a lover, I never loathe
I've got to find a way to use the rhyme word oath

I'm a 'stache man
Yeah; I'm a 'stache man
Yes I'm a 'stache man (OH!)
I'm a 'stache man

Lips of Glory
Facial Hair
Your tiny mustache won't change how much I care

I see you wrestle,
I feel the heat.
That's why Billy, I don't think you can be beat

I'm a 'stache man
Yeah; I'm a 'stache man
I'm a mustache man (OH!)

I love to grow 'em
I love to stroke 'em
I love to lick 'em
I love to comb 'em
Love to flaunt 'em
I love to watch 'em
I love to pick 'em
And I'm gonna trim 'em

I'm a 'stache man
Yeah; I'm a 'stache man
I love the mustache (OH!)
I'm a 'stache man.



The 'stache Man Billy Gunn. We'll see you in 10 days.





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