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Author: Subject: (Sample Rant) Great American Bash 86
Norm
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posted on 5-12-2003 at 08:15 AM Edit Post
(Sample Rant) Great American Bash 86

Sample Rant For The Great American Bash: 86

This wasn’t one show, but highlights from the 1986 tour.

Our hosts are Tony Shivonnee and David Crockett, the most annoying man of the planet.

Opening Match: NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair (Champ) vs. Road Warrior Hawk: This match is presumably the first of Ric Flair’s 16 days of glory title defense. Hawk was young here, and what he limited in skill, he made up for speed and Flair could carry a broomstick in 1986. Flair also had a formula taking on bigger guys, and being able to beat them and make them look like a million dollars in the process. Many complain that one of the major reasons Flair never earned the same status Hogan gained in the WWF was that Hogan defeated all his opponents cleanly. In this match with Hawk, Hawk “accidentally” knocks the referee out of the ring and goes for a variation of Victoria’s Widow’s Peak (more of a Jack-knife/backbreaker buster). The referee comes back in, taps Hawk on the shoulder three times, and the crowd explodes thinking Hawk won the title. The referee, instead, disqualifies Hawk and awards the match to Flair by DQ. I mean some people (an marks) had to been thinking about how Flair could be any good when he was almost losing to tag team specialists. It makes it worse when the DQ was caused by the face, and not by a heel beat down. So when people think Flair is being screwed now, should have seen when Dusty Rhodes was booking. (***3/4 – Flair does all his trademark stuff, and Hawk played “big guy” to Flair’s big guy formula. The ending was just all wrong, as Hawk would have won if he hadn’t ‘screwed up’.)

Haircut Match: Jimmy Valiant vs. Shasta Whatley: This was part of the 100 year feud between Valiant and former wrestler/manager Paul Jones. These two were seen wrestling about a year earlier at the Great American Bash 1985 super card, and the feud continued until Starrcade 1986 (I think). The main idea David Crockett tells me from the video was that Paul Jones had a stable that wanted to destroy Jimmy Valiant, and Jimmy wants to destroy the stable and Paul Jones for cutting off a piece of his hair. If there were a match that I would torture my worst enemy with, it would be this match. Jimmy does nothing but shake when getting beat up, and then “hulks up” to Shasta’s punches, but would then be put down to the ground by a head-butt. Rinse, wash, and repeat. Finally, Jimmy “hulks up” again, but Jones tries to throw Shasta a “loaded glove”, but Valiant has his own and knocks-out Shasta for the win. The baby-faces hit the ring and shave Shasta, who looks like D-Lo Brown once he is shaven bald. -*****

Haircut Match: Jimmy Valiant vs. Paul Jones: They show about fifteen minutes of Valiant/Whatley, but this gets clipped to about five minutes. Valiant dominates Jones, but Shasta comes in during the “referee distraction” and knocks Valiant out, so Jones can get the pin. David Crockett gives the “Valiant could protest, but will take it like a man” speech, and I wonder if I should hit the eject button. DUD.

Tape Fist Match: Ron Garvin vs. Tully Blanchard: The storyline was that the Four Horsemen had injured Garvin’s hands, forcing him to tape his hands up. JJ Dillon protested, and Garvin challenged Blanchard to this match. Before Round One can even start, Garvin backdrops and hits the “hands of stone” to knock Blanchard out. A few minutes, pass and the referee allows Dillon to wake Blanchard up to start the match.

Round One: Garvin destroys Blanchard with the punches.

Round Two: Garvin destroys Blanchard again.

Round Three: Blanchard uses wrestling holds to combat Garvin’s punches, and turns the match (without any objections) to a pseudo wrestling match.

Round Four: Garvin makes the comeback, but JJ gives Tully brass-knucks and knocks Garvin out for the ten count.

I enjoyed it for what it was. ** because it was a solid gimmick match, an Tully actually using wrestling to combat “Garvin’s deadly weapons” was cute to see before the finish.

Russian Chain Match: Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff vs. The Road Warriors: Road Warrior’s were a site to behold in 1986, but this match just didn’t do anything for me. I wish they had just done a regular match as bad as that might have been. *1/2

#1 Contenders Match for the NWA Tag Team Championship: The Rock N’ Roll Express vs. Ole Anderson/Arn Anderson: David Crockett has the nerve to call Rock N’ Roll express real singers with a straight face as they show footage of the Rock N’ Roll express singing drunk and off key somewhere. If people think Jim Ross is a whore for Vince, should see David Crockett for Jim Crockett. Match is a time-limited draw, but I enjoyed Arn and Ole working on Ricky Morton’s “broken nose”. ***

Best of 7 for the United States Championship: Magnum TA vs. Nikita Koloff: If there was a sure thing it was Terry Allen. Might have been World Champ by November, if it wasn’t for Magnum crashing his car into a telephone pole, ending his career. This match was to make Koloff into a hated United States champion, and for Magnum to finally get to the next level for real. This is match #4, and Nikita has already won the first three matches, so Magnum has to win here and he does. Of course, Koloff dominates and Magnum gets (kind of) a fluke victory to continue wrestling for the United States title. Koloff would eventually win the title to end this series. ***1/4

Mixed-Six-Person-Tag/Cage Match: Magnum T.A./Dusty Rhodes/Baby Doll vs. Jim Cornette/The Midnight Express: My history is very limited here, but I think Dusty booked himself to “kidnap” Baby Doll from her then “boyfriend” Tully Blanchard and eventually she turned baby-face for real and befriended Rhodes because of a problem she was having with Jim Cornette. I should also say that Baby Doll wasn’t that good looking, as the camera never truly stays on her. She wasn’t that bad looking either without the heel makeup job. The match is basically Dusty/Magnum vs. the Midnights, but at some point Cornette gets into the ring, Baby Doll attacks and pins him. Solid match before the goofy ending, and since the booking was about Baby Doll vs. Jim Cornette, the ending was necessary. Good junk for everyone here. **

NWA World Heavyweight Championship/Day 16/Cage Match: Ric Flair (Champion) vs. Dusty Rhodes: David Crockett tells us that Flair has wrestled Hawk, Animal, Magnum T.A., and Nikita Koloff and now it was time for Flair to take on Dusty. Dusty makes sure the video people place in a stock interview of Dusty talking about ‘it was the time’ to win the title. These guys have done better matches, because there were no Flair trademarks done or attempted in this match (except for the figure-four) and the Flair blade-job from hitting the cage. The story of the match was good, as even though Flair was the heel, Dusty couldn’t just defeat him. Of course, Flair can’t beat Dusty either, and Dusty finally bashes Flair in the cage, and gets the fluke roll-up for the pin. All the faces jump the ring to celebrate with Dusty. **3/4

End of Tape

The Jimmy Valiant stuff was crap, but the rest wasn’t too bad, and listening to David Crockett must be done once for anyone who has never listened to him before. The tape also has Flair making Hawk look great, and Dusty winning the title for real after his “fake-switch” at Starrcade 85. We get a Nikita/Magnum match, two men who were to be the future, but fate changed that.

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Norm
Banned






Posts 179
Registered 5-8-2003
Member Is Offline

Mood: Retartedd

posted on 5-13-2003 at 08:07 AM Edit Post
Somebody removed a post. Well, what do you guys think? Do I have a chance with the big boys?
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