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Author: Subject: OO Universe's homage to the next President of the USoA
Paddlefoot
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posted on 2-24-2016 at 07:00 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Trump wins the Nevada caucuses by 43%, "smart" media celebrates the Rubio dumb-bot's "impressive" 25% second place finish.

When Trump gets sworn in next January he's gonna walk to the podium like this:



The look on his face as he does his victory speech will, from start to finish, be like this:



Anyone still sane in America by this time next year will be reacting to it all like this:



Like Wee Hughie said to Billy Butcher when Terror the bulldog raped a yappy little Yorkie, this entire election is the maddest thing I've ever seen.

ETA, as seen on Twatter tonight:




[Edited on 2/24/2016 by Paddlefoot]





Hey bitches! Screw ALL of you! - heel Bayley, Oct 11 2019

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merc
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posted on 2-24-2016 at 08:53 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I believe that ballot has been altered. I don't see Canada on it.
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janerd75
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posted on 2-26-2016 at 06:28 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I L'ed, but not too much OL. Whatevs.







Hopefully Trump will still allow a Canadian comedian guest worker program.








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Catch-As-Catch-Can: The Non-Specific Wrestling Thread

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chretienbabacool
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posted on 2-29-2016 at 05:46 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
John Oliver just completely takes down Trump here. God bless that man. Also I can't find the right code to embed video:

http://youtu.be/DnpO_RTSNmQ





Go Cubs!

And just imagine if, instead of the Palins, the Obama family had a pregnant, underage daughter on display at their convention, flanked by her black boyfriend who "intends" to marry her. Who among conservatives would have resisted the temptation to speak of "the dysfunction in the black community"?

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 2-29-2016 at 06:07 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Our good friend Jeb, clearly not any sort of Trump supporter, kind of hit it on the head as to the WHY of Trump and it's not as easy as the pundits than simply dismissing his supporters as a bunch of morons. It's a bunch of people who've gotten royally ripped off over the last several decades, especially since Dubya's first term, so they're lining up behind an outsider who (despite all his own kookiness) isn't one of the bastards that fucked them over. Add in people like a lot of union members who do not walk in lockstep with their leader's endorsements of Clinton and, when Sanders inevitably is knocked out of the race, are just as likely to flock to Trump on his pledges of bringing jobs back to America. Trump's not a fascist either, despite the panic-stricken liberals who think he is. He's just a nationalist who gets really mouthy about the off-whites when he's had a few too many wobbly-pops at the 19th Hole after nearly paring the course.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/24/donald-trump-victory-nevada-caucus-voter-anger

quote:
Donald Trump’s victory in the Nevada Republican caucus wasn’t even a close one; he reportedly led in practically every demographic (and listed them in his victory speech). Evangelicals, young, old, Hispanics, the highly educated and “the poorly educated” they all loved him on Tuesday night.

Hispanics? Yes, even Hispanics, even after that line about “drugs and rapists”.

And though establishment toffs like to issue signifying snorts about Trump voters being predominantly “poorly educated”, in the minutes after the caucus even CNN started to come around to the most elusive explanation: Trump’s popularity isn’t about his supporters’ education, their religion or the policies they’d like to see enacted. Trump is popular because of his supporters’ anger.

Anger isn’t something that Beltway pundits recognize, let alone understand because everyone employed in media or in politics in and around Washington DC is pretty well off. Even ink-stained wretches pull down five-figures – and, unlike everywhere else in America, since journalism is built on documenting nonsense, there’s some real job security in documenting Washington. Television people fare even better, because TV money is stupid money. Thinktank malefactors reap great sums from the aggrieved heartland or from industries looking to build a canon of falsified data, and Congress and the attendant lobbying is a helluva racket.

Anger is pretty easy to miss when it’s something pretty difficult to feel. When you sit at the center of the world and are unlikely to ever lack for the basic materials of self-sufficiency, the idea of blind, gnawing resentment – let alone of feeding that resentment even with irrational aims – is ineluctably beyond your ken.

It’s harder still to understand that there are millions of people in America whose ambitions for a life of steadily improving conditions cratered sometime around nine years ago and have never recovered.
If you can hardly imagine that you could follow the Horatio Alger script to the letter and still find yourself sinking in quicksand, you’re never going to understand why someone would be so contemptuous of the pieties of a system that only pays attention to you when doing soft-focus interviews in search of a journalism award or a campaign ad.

And anger isn’t something so easily ratiocinated. When your job is explaining world events, irrational phenomena lie fundamentally outside your brief. Explaining things with, “Well, people are angry!” is like surrender; it’s explaining badly resolved story lines in a TV show with, “A wizard did it.” Journalists learn to see the world in terms of the push/pull of conflicting ideologies and the necessary stratagems within a needlessly complicated governmental system; they’re necessarily going seek their explanations for seeming irrationality in the more elegant realms of philosophy and economics and political science.

Doing so fails them all the time. Look at the Tea Party, which the Beltway (at various points) tried desperately to explain as populist resentment of Business As Usual, or a new libertarian moment. Only recently has the media madding crowd come around to some kind of consensus about it just being racist as hell.

That wasn’t a difficult conclusion to reach, and it didn’t need to take seven years; all they had to do was look at their damn signage – all those placards of Obama as “Curious George” the monkey and signs like “OBAMA’S PLAN = WHITE SLAVERY” were kind of unambiguous.

Which brings us back to Trump’s victory speech in Nevada, which was his usual gallimaufry of disconnected thoughts. They aren’t traditional political speeches as much as they are The Donald emceeing his own Dean Martin roast for everyone and everything he hates, with interruptions for what he loves. He burns his enemies to a crisp, tells America it’s wonderful and drops in random praise. “Florida, we love Florida.”

Hey, Florida, baby, you’re beautiful. You’re wonderful. I tell ya, I love ya. You’re aces. Here’s $100 for the tables. I know you’re going to be lucky tonight because I can feel it.

There’s a great temptation to fume at the emptiness and banality of Trump’s statements and at the absence of traditional policy plans; it’s almost irresistible to seek some grander explanation for his success than that people like him.

But you don’t need some grand overarching political science theory. There are millions of miserable people in America who know exactly who engineered the shattering of their worlds, and Trump isn’t one of those people – and, with the exception of Bernie Sanders, everyone else in the field is running on the basis of their experience being one of those people.

When you are abused and bullied enough, anyone willing to beat up or burn down whomever put you in that position is your friend. Even a bully can be a hero if he targets others bullies – and that is, more or less, what Trump has done since day one.

Trump’s nativism is horrifying and nauseating, as is his delight in talking about beating up protesters and intimidating anyone who hassles him. People are right to fear the way he has turned movement conservatism’s loathing of protest, the media and non-white foreigners up to 11 and ripped the knob off.

But that disgusting behavior gets paired with the sight of Trump humiliating establishment empty suits like Scott Walker, stuffed shirts like Jeb Bush, party pets like Marco Rubio and habitual liars like Ted Cruz. The fact that Trump himself is frequently lying doesn’t matter to those that see themselves as the establishment’s victims if he’s lying in service of exposing another government predator.

As tacky and thuggish as it might be, Trump plays the hero to people that the wise warriors of the system have abandoned. He’s the ultimate Gary Stu character: a billionaire beholden to no one and able to abuse every disingenuous and pettifogging remora latched headfirst on the nation and sucking upward.

And as long as people can enjoy the elbow-throwing wish-fulfillment of watching him in action, most of the rest doesn’t matter to them – not the bombast, not the war-mongering, not the unfeasibility of even his signature promises and certainly not the consequences if he keeps them. If the system is already so broken that it abandoned you, its preservation is not your concern. Hell, burning it down might be what you want most.

Anger has a clarity all its own. It renders most detail extraneous, and it animates like nothing else. It is not to be underestimated, and, at this point, we will probably have to wait until November to find out if it truly has been.






[Edited on 2/29/2016 by Paddlefoot]





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chretienbabacool
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posted on 3-1-2016 at 01:04 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Yes there's a lot of anger. I don't think anyone is ignoring that and I myself am pretty angry by a lot of things going on but anger doesn't absolve you of being a moron. As witnessed by Oliver's shredding of Trump all the things his supporters claim they like in him are complete bull. He's a phony tough guy, he's arguably not a good businessmen who has left a trail of failed endeavors behind him which have cost many people their jobs, he either straight out lies or is too dumb to remember all the things he has said, he straight up said he would kill the families of terrorists which is a war crime, he threatens to sue everyone who hurts his feelings when not tweeting illogical things at them at 2 AM when I bet many of his supporters claim to hate lawyers.

He is a complete and utter sham in every way and will do irrerereperable harm to this country if he is elected and embracing the fact that his supporters are angry won't change that. That anger is covered all the time. His supporters are still adults who if they don't want to be called morons are responsible for doing the modicum of research and realizing that all he is is a sociopath who literally will say anything to get a reaction and further put the trump name out there no matter how much it can be proven wrong or how much it contradicts previous things he has said.


[Edited on 3-1-2016 by chretienbabacool]





Go Cubs!

And just imagine if, instead of the Palins, the Obama family had a pregnant, underage daughter on display at their convention, flanked by her black boyfriend who "intends" to marry her. Who among conservatives would have resisted the temptation to speak of "the dysfunction in the black community"?

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janerd75
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posted on 3-2-2016 at 06:58 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Apocalypse Frau vs. Trumpollini. Neat.

Though there are always alternatives.



Soooo, is Canada, like, cold in the winter or do you think maybe a light jacket or a sweater will suffice?





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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-2-2016 at 07:21 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Keep the woolies handy because you'll need them eventually. The cold on a Winnipeg street corner in January can really harsh the buzz off even the best late night bath salt bender.





Hey bitches! Screw ALL of you! - heel Bayley, Oct 11 2019

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-2-2016 at 07:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chretienbabacool
Yes there's a lot of anger. I don't think anyone is ignoring that and I myself am pretty angry by a lot of things going on but anger doesn't absolve you of being a moron. As witnessed by Oliver's shredding of Trump all the things his supporters claim they like in him are complete bull. He's a phony tough guy, he's arguably not a good businessmen who has left a trail of failed endeavors behind him which have cost many people their jobs, he either straight out lies or is too dumb to remember all the things he has said, he straight up said he would kill the families of terrorists which is a war crime, he threatens to sue everyone who hurts his feelings when not tweeting illogical things at them at 2 AM when I bet many of his supporters claim to hate lawyers.

He is a complete and utter sham in every way and will do irrerereperable harm to this country if he is elected and embracing the fact that his supporters are angry won't change that. That anger is covered all the time. His supporters are still adults who if they don't want to be called morons are responsible for doing the modicum of research and realizing that all he is is a sociopath who literally will say anything to get a reaction and further put the trump name out there no matter how much it can be proven wrong or how much it contradicts previous things he has said.


I don't like it either. I doubt anyone thought the long overdue appearance of an American Robespierre to overturn the last forty years of systemic bullshit would ever be filled by Donald Trump. Maybe the only positive to come out of his victory will be the end, at last, of the Reaganite GOP. I'm not much of a liberal in general but there's not much doubt that the worst of what's afflicted the US, especially economically, over the last three decades began with Reagan's win in 1980. The forces of pure greed were unleashed with the banking deregulations that happened and they've been strip-mining America ever since. Can Trump overturn this? Probably not, and it's also probably that he wouldn't anyway because he runs with that pack of jackyls too. But if he won, as some kind of independent GOP that's going to have a clear line of division between him and the Republican establishment, it would be the first time that a POTUS has been elected that wasn't fully owned by the financial sector. You certainly can't say that about Hillary Clinton.

I have no illusions that Trump as Prez won't be a farce. Maybe he's what's needed though as the starting point when a candidate, even the most bozo of all billionaires, proves himself electable without a million puppet strings from Wall Street and the corporate sector being tied to him. Probably too much to hope for but it's hard to find any positives at all to come out of this election year.





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janerd75
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posted on 3-2-2016 at 08:47 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Keep the woolies handy because you'll need them eventually. The cold on a Winnipeg street corner in January can really harsh the buzz off even the best late night bath salt bender.


Mmmm, wool handies... And I so can't wait to taste my first Molson-infused, syrup-dipped facsicle.





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BBMN
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posted on 3-3-2016 at 11:18 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Local theater is showing tonight's Republican debate on the big screen.

I'm going to be disappointed if I don't go and Trump ends up punching a Mexian baby. But can I stand to watch his and Cruz's ugly mugs blown up to larger than life size for a couple hours? Sounds more punishing than 24 hours of nothing but Groundhog Day.





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merc
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 02:51 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BBMN
Local theater is showing tonight's Republican debate on the big screen.

I'm going to be disappointed if I don't go and Trump ends up punching a Mexian baby. But can I stand to watch his and Cruz's ugly mugs blown up to larger than life size for a couple hours? Sounds more punishing than 24 hours of nothing but Groundhog Day.


Dude! Are you seriously not going? How awesome is it that a DEBATE has grown that big!! You might not like the peeps or their positions, but you have to respect the energy in your community. Good for them!

The press could get unfiltered reaction, hopefully the satelite trucks are lining the parking lot.

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janerd75
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 03:00 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Yeah, man, you gotta go. I hear the new trailer for the next X-Men movie is attached.







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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 06:19 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Another successful GOP debate completed!







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BBMN
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 02:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I didn't go to the debate.... I missed the FIRST EVER PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE DICK COMMENT.

http://gawker.com/donald-trump-just-assured-america-he-has-a-big-dick-1762790326

My girl had to wake up extra early so we decided to skip it :l

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 04:02 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
They call them fingers but I've never seen them fing. Oh, wait, there they go......







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merc
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 05:56 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I don't understand why liberals want gun control. It prevents republicans from target practice at their debates.



[Edited on 3-4-2016 by merc]

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 06:25 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
This year's slate of candidates has been as good an argument as any for bringing back the all-American tradition of shooting at politicians every once in a while.





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punkerhardcore
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 06:47 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
This year's slate of candidates has been as good an argument as any for bringing back the all-American tradition of shooting at politicians every once in a while.


Outside of that, I'd say Trump is all but a lock to win this November.

Which is depressing as all hell, but won't be a surprise whatsoever. This kind of sea change is the trend anymore-- after eight years of one party, people show up in droves to vote for the other. It's just unfortunate that this time, it isn't a legit politician who has any real ideas... just some fucking clown who has no clue what he'll be doing once he's in office.

At this point, it's probably best to go numb and accept this is going to happen.





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 07:15 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Maybe things have to reach their bottom depth under Prez Trump before they finally start getting better, or smarter. He'll probably get impeached by his third year anyway so maybe the damage he causes won't be that widespread.





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Columbo
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posted on 3-4-2016 at 08:30 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Maybe things have to reach their bottom depth under Prez Trump before they finally start getting better, or smarter. He'll probably get impeached by his third year anyway so maybe the damage he causes won't be that widespread.


I'm almost at the point where I want Trump to win just for the trainwreck

[Edited on 3-4-2016 by Columbo]





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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-8-2016 at 03:27 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
He's evil as shit but fucking LOL regardless.







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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-8-2016 at 11:43 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
LOL again. John Cena for Prez!

http://adequateman.deadspin.com/should-john-cena-run-for-president-1763496873



quote:
If John Cena had the best training available over the next four years on hot-topic political subjects, how well could he do in presidential debates? I’ve got to think he’d have a Trump-like chance at winning the presidency. Nobody can work the mic like him, and I think if he had the right preparation, he could make other candidates look silly at the podium. And he’d KILL it with the male college demographic eligible to vote for the first time. Am I crazy?

You are not crazy. John Cena could be president. We’ve already had one professional wrestler (and legitimately crazy person) run an entire state, and that was with virtually no political training of any sort. And there’s a reason that we’ve elected actors to higher office. ACTORS! The most inane people on fucking Earth. Fred Thompson won a Senate seat simply because he played a politician on TV so many times that people assumed he was a real one! We’ve elected actors to be president, and on more than one occasion!

Because what is a president but an actor, a figurehead? Your job is 90 percent presentation. You have policy wonks and handlers to analyze the nitty-gritty of actual government operation and then offer recommendations. A president’s job is to SELL those recommendations, and make fancy speeches, and pretend to enjoy the Chancellor of Malta’s company at state dinners.

When you vote for a president, you’re really voting for whatever shadowy apparatus is propping that fucker up, and the better the candidate is at hiding that apparatus, the better he or she polls. So, in theory, anyone good with a mic could excel with enough support behind him or her. Now that the news media has amplified the election cycle to the point where news coverage is the primary driver of campaign promotion, mic skills are the dominant factor in electability. If you can’t talk, you’re done.

John Cena could pull it off. Load him up with the names of foreign leaders and some cool stats, and he could easily win people over. Like me! Do you know how gullible I am? If I watch any presidential debate, there are moments when I will forget everything bad about any candidate because they said something I agree with. So, like, if Donald Trump says, “We gotta have wider parking spaces, folks. Believe me, when I am president, you’re gonna be able to park an aircraft carrier in any space,” I’m temporarily sold. It takes nothing to turn me. Cena could have moments of clarity like that.

In fact, he should run now. This election already has a heel. It needs a face for balance. Trump has shown us the way all elections will be conducted in the future: nothing but trash-talking and sick burns for months on end. This isn’t an anomaly. We’re gonna have even CRAZIER candidates moving forward, so I think Cena should jump in now. He could run a third party campaign funded by GNC and BIG VITAMIN and go to fucking work on everyone. I will support him and his jort welfare programs.






Hey bitches! Screw ALL of you! - heel Bayley, Oct 11 2019

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williamssl
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posted on 3-9-2016 at 12:14 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I can just see him making an address at the United Nations, and a chunk of ally delegates chime in with "Let's Go Cena" and Syria Iran et al respond with "Cena Sucks"


In different languages of course so that it's unintelligible.


"Chants of something broke out today when President Cena addressed the UN. There were either two factions involved, or it was some of the best choreography we've seen and suggestive that the UN can actually work together to accomplish something, although what that something is remains to be seen"





Don't Mess With Texas

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Paddlefoot
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posted on 3-9-2016 at 12:26 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
President Cena was today accused by China of glass-ceiling them just like he did to CM Punk. As for Mr. Punk he's reportedly holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in Paris with a hoard of decrypted documents he claims "will explode like a pipe-bomb at the heart of the Cena Administration. No one's going to sleep this time!".





Hey bitches! Screw ALL of you! - heel Bayley, Oct 11 2019

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