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Author: Subject: UnOOficial Royal Rumble 2015 Actual Card Discussion
nOOb
The Man






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posted on 1-19-2015 at 10:50 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
UnOOficial Royal Rumble 2015 Actual Card Discussion

It's that time: the time of the year where Pun's House gets ready for having upwards of 20 people in the chatroom at once, where OOMatt pops his head out to explain the rules of the Royal Rumble game and see if his shadow is there or not (if he doesn't see it, it means Bryan will not headline Wrestlemania), and, usually, just one of the most fun PPV's of the year (unless they telegraph John Cena winning, then it usually isn't). The Royal Rumble is here and you should be pumped, since you can save $50 on it this year thanks to the WWE Network! Here's the rundown (this is likely it):

-Kickoff Exclusive: Cesaro/Kidd/Adam Rose vs. New Day (Elimination Stylez): Cesaro and Kidd are a tag team becuzz. Adam Rose is friends with them kind of also becuzz. But they all hate the New Day, as does most everyone else, namely because it's just three stale faces that were given blue outfits and it was just assumed that would make them fresh. The New Day will probably win this becuzz. Depending on "double duty" rules this year, Kofi may make a quick exit for the sole purpose of getting him Rumble-ready so he can do something crazy to save himself. Then again it is the kickoff show so it is likely immune from "double duty" Rumble rules.

-Natalya/Paige vs. Bellas: There's a title involved, but not on the line, two of the four women are actually good workers, but all that gets tossed out the window because there's a reality TV show involved here. We'll safely call this a bathroom break.

-The Ascension vs. the New Age Outlaws: The Ascension hasn't really impressed since coming up, though they really haven't been in a position to, probably because Vince is crazy and has a grudge against NXT for being good (not even being sarcastic here, just going off the wide-spread rumor that is probably fact). Monday the Ascension was beaten by three teams that have been retired for quite a while, so naturally they need to get revenge on the team that has been retired for the least amount of time (the Outlaws). This match really has two things for it: 1) it keeps the Ascension out of the Rumble (probably), which was a bigger deal in the idea of protecting their "invulnerability" before three retired teams beat the shit out of them Monday and 2) it puts the Ascension in, what you would hope to be, the first competitive tag match they've had. The Ascension can win over the audience with a good showing.

-Miz and Mizdow vs. The Uso's (c) for the Tag Championships: I would expect all four men to pull double duty (especially for the guaranteed Miz/Mizdow will he/won't he stunt elimination spot). The story is dumb and revolves around a Total Diva (or two). But the competitors are solid hands and can all deliver.

-John Cena/Brock Lesnar (c)/Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Title: Cena/Lesnar 3 had only a bit of intrigue, as Cena wasn't really doing too much to pull his weight building the match up (instead wallowing in his sadness of getting his friends fired). But adding Rollins to this match has made it a lot more intriguing. Paul Heyman being around in general has also given the match the proper buildup. Basically, Cena knows he can totally beat Brock (and everyone else at the same time). Lesnar has beaten up Cena multiple times. And Rollins has a briefcase for a title shot at any time that he won't have to use at the Rumble (maybe). He plans on letting Cena and Lesnar destroy each other. Lesnar wants to kill both men. Cena probably will at some point FU Lesnar and Rollins simultaneously. Who could win is muddied, especially since Rollins could just cash in immediately if he loses. And not helping matters is the buzz that Lesnar's appearances are getting used up rapidly so they can be done with his contract and he can go back to the UFC and probably join CM Punk as the first MMA Heyman Guy stable (I'd call them HeyMMAn guys). Regardless, this will be loads of fun because of two parties involved and groan inducing sometimes because Cena will be involved.

-The Royal Rumble: To be honest, they could only do three matches and I'd be fine so long as this was one. We all know the rules: two men start, two minutes between guys until 30 enter, over the top rope eliminations. It's been around since '88 and loads of fun to watch for 24 of them, at least. Here's a few storylines to watch for:

-Will WWE pull the trigger (inadvisably) on Roman Reigns? Chances are the answer is "yes", but if they do, Philly will not approve very audibly. He has yet to show the mic skills or move set to be a main eventer.

-Who are the "Secondary Winners"? Because it isn't 100% that Reigns is winning (as opposed to when it was 100% Cena was two years ago and 95% Batista was last year), looking at the field has some interesting choices available. Dean Ambrose is continuing to get over in spite of Vince, and is known to be able to bring the goods. Daniel Bryan is still over in spite of his neck (and Vince) and is still able to bring the goods on a big stage. Dolph Ziggler's star is on the rise and he did single-handedly beat the Authority at Survivor Series (though he needs to be brought back in the story and there's always that chance that Vince would spite him for the standup debacle in the Rumor thread just because he's Vince by not bring him back for the Rumble). And literally all Bray Wyatt has done since the Ambulance match is talk about how he is going to win the Rumble. That's four guys who have done more than Reigns recently, and who the audience would get behind.

-Kane. This is a fact some of you might not know, but going into last year he was one elimination behind HBK. He got tossed early, but wound up pulling Punk out of the ring in Punk's last official WWE appearance. WWE counts that as an elimination for Kane, so he is tied with HBK for most eliminations ever. He's not going to win, but he will likely get that token elimination to give him the record. (Just an addendum, but apparently Raw retconned the elimination WWE.com gave him credit for, probably because it was controversial and involved CM Punk, but he's now one behind HBK and two from the lead, which he could get Sunday).

There will be surprises (discussed in the Surprise Entrant wishlist thread), there will be a match or two extra added, and Philly will get really pissed at something. But it is the one PPV of the year I can justify paying $10 for regardless of quality.

[Edited on 1-21-2015 by nOOb]





"The Seahawks are cool. Me and Tubby here hung out with them once at a Bruno Mars concert."-Jay and Silent Bob representing the Broncos on FOX NFL Sunday.

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CM Crunk
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posted on 1-20-2015 at 02:21 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Has anyone spitballed the idea of having Sting lead Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan as a sort of mini-faction of unsigned guys to take on The Authority? Guerrilla warfare style? Im pecking this away on my phone right now so if anyone wants to fantasy book something with that, have at it.
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nOOb
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posted on 1-21-2015 at 01:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Well, Sting does need to get turned on before he hangs them up. It wouldn't be Sting if he didn't get turned on.





"The Seahawks are cool. Me and Tubby here hung out with them once at a Bruno Mars concert."-Jay and Silent Bob representing the Broncos on FOX NFL Sunday.

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TomS
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posted on 1-21-2015 at 12:20 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Took me a second there to realise that you weren't calling for Sting to become sexually aroused. Because that's what "turned on" means over here.
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punkerhardcore
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posted on 1-21-2015 at 05:19 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
When the triple threat match has been going on for a while, I'll just be waiting for the moment when Orton comes out to cost Rollins the match. Come on, we know it's gonna happen. Either that, or he'll interfere with Rollins' MITB cash in after the match.





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