The Online Onslaught Forums


By contributing to Online Onslaught, you'll help make sure we're around for years to come. Toss us as little as a few bucks, or as much as your generosity allows. Thanks!

Last active: Never Not logged in [Login ]

Printable Version |
Subscribe | Add to Favorites
<<  1    2    3  >>
New Topic New Poll New Reply
Author: Subject: XPW Remixed
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-16-2012 at 12:35 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW Remixed

XPW TV Episode #33



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

Solie & Striker welcome us to the show, recap the events of "GENOCIDE" (four championships changed hands) and run down the card for tonight... Boston championship match, Midwest Championship rematch, and a special episode of the Ice Cream Parlor... plus "(Another) New Years Revolution" coming January 28th live from Boston MA!!!



** CUT TO RING **
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Seagulls Of Rhinosouras Bay Part II" by Foxy Shazam blares through the arena soundsystem... a cocky, gritty, grimy Jon Moxley opens the show with a promo.... he's etching his own destiny out in XPW Remixed at the expense of the old guard who refuse to move over... video highlights of Moxley's backstage beatdown of Terry Funk last week... sure enough, "Cowboy" by Kid Rock cuts Moxley off and Funk is in the building!... Dueling mic chant before Funk lays down the challenge by punching Moxley in his fat mouth!!!

JON MOXLEY versus TERRY FUNK
(Impromptu Street Fight)

versus

Funk & Moxley brawl all throughout the ringside area and into the fans... tables, chairs, slugging and brawling... Solie reminds viewers of Funk's elder statesman role in XPW Remixed... Moxley holds his own, but Funk is on fire... literally... a flaming steel chair shot from Funk nearly takes Moxley's head off.

Winner: TERRY FUNK

Postmatch an exasperated Moxley takes the house mic, but must wait to speak as the chants of "XPW! XPW!" are so loud... Moxley challenges Funk to finish this once and for all and on the up and up (Moxley claims he was unprepared for tonights encounter)... at "New Years Revolution" Moxley vs Funk... in a loser leaves XPW match!!! Moxley promises to retire Funk at "New Years Revolution", but the old dog accepts the young bucks challenge because he plans on putting this ungrateful, smart aleck punk where he belongs... on the cold streets looking in!!!

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** Boston Championship **



JINDER MAHAL (w/ Evil Empire) versus HAKUSHI (w/ William Muldoon)

versus

Video highlight of The Evil Empire's decimation of the Olympia at "Genocide", culminating in Jinder Mahal beating William Muldoon for the Boston title... Backstage correspondent MSD updates the condition of the Olympia, and it's not good... Muldoon is injured and not cleared to compete, but will defy doctors orders to accompany his man into combat tonight... Great Gama isn't ridiculously tall like Khali, but the man is built like a brick wall... Jinder Mahal is perfect in his role as evil Terrorist cell leader... Mahal wins clean with the cross armbreaker, but won't release the hold... Muldoon tries to get involved but is injured and attacked by Gama and Khali... Hakushi is locked in the cross armbreaker by Mahal until his arm visibly SNAPS!... Hakushi has a broken arm!... Alexxis Nevaeh and Tommaso Ciampa make the run-in and clear the ring (no Mil Mascaras because he was injured by Mahal's armbreaker last night @ "Genocide)"... but Mahal has a mic and another challenge for the Olympia...

Winner by submission (and STILL Boston Champion): JINDER MAHAL

** match segue... **

GREAT GAMA (w/ Jinder Mahal) versus TOMMASO CIAMPA

versus

Young Tommaso Ciampa accepts the challenge when Olympia honor is questioned... Gama is a beast who bullies the chiseled young competitor around the ring... Solie runs down Gama's incredible list of accomplishments and legendary strongman feats... Gama wins when Muldoon is forced to throw in the white towel after Tommaso Ciampa is trapped for an obscene amount of time in Great Gama's crippling swinging full nelson (like Ken Patera used to do)... Jinder Mahal for the go-home promo... claims his Empire's greatest triumph will occur at "New Years Revolution" when XPW Remixed returns to Boston MA!!! Is there a terrorist attack in the works???

Winner (by submission): GREAT GAMA



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________



** Parking lot skit where the Diamond Dynasty (World champion Buddy Rogers, Matt Morgan, Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt) are in full blown celebration mode... all dressed like a million bucks... MSD tries to catch them for an interview... Buddy Rogers goes into business for himself and alludes to a big announcement West Coast VP Jack Pfefer is going to make on his behalf tonight... **


** CUT TO ARENA **



Back inside the arena and there's a disturbance in the concession area... a drunken O'Mahoney 2.0 is causing a ruckus with the fans and can't be contained... he somehow corrals a live mic and lets loose... he's like a man standing on the ledge of a building... suddenly Shane Douglas and the Triple Threat show up to figuratively tell him to "jump"... they bully, belittle and demean the clearly disturbed O'Mahoney 2.0 to overcome their own insecurities...



Douglas, Candido & Gilbert wind up jumping O'Mahoney like a bunch of bullies and beating him down... but suddenly SHEAMUS charges through the crowd, still in his street clothes, for the save!... Douglas flees but Gilbert and Candido get caught in a brawl with Sheamus in the concession area... Gilbert into the popcorn machine, Candido slid face first down the counter through a wall of beer bottles... Sheamus clears the Triple Threat and helps O'Mahoney to his feet... crowd cheers, camera fade out of Sheamus' perturbed, incensed face.




** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



"Commission" VP Jack Pfefer is hosting a "state of the union" address with his people (bodyguard Dick Shikat, the Middle Eastern/American Businessman-attired Abdullah the Butcher and OG Sheik (w/ KotDM belt), woman’s division president Lizzy Borden, and the Diamond Dynasty)... The Grand Wizard is still injured but has issued a formal ruling for strong unity within the camp... The Grand Wizard will be appearing later tonight in a pre-taped segment with a huge announcement regarding the KotDM title... winds of change are blowing within XPW Remixed and The Commission is losing leverage... Rogers balks at that, considering he and his team are the cream of the crop... Pfefer informs them if things continue as they are, that Rogers West Coast championship won't be worth the metal it's made of if Sammartino, Mondt or Lewis have their way... Buddy Rogers tells Pfefer to forget his "big announcement" regarding the West Coast title - aka "Buddy's goddamn championship"... the "Nature Boy" has one of his own for later tonight... Pfefer demands unity... but where is XPW Remixed commissioner Damien Steele????...

XPW Remixed Corporate Hierarchy







TitleWEST COAST OFFICELos Angeles
PresidentThe Grand WizardOversees KotDM & TV title
Vice PresJack PfeferOversees West Coast title
Wms Div VPLizzy BordenOversees Woman's division
**OG SheikKotDM Champion
**Dick ShikatBodyguard
**Abdullah the ButcherMercenary








TitleEAST COAST OFFICEBoston MA
PresidentEd "Strangler" LewisOversees East Coast title
Vice PresToots MondtOvrsees Boston & Tag title
EmployeeDamien SteeleXPW Commissioner
IndependentLou TheszOversees Midwest title

** FADE TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Honky Tonk Man's
"ICE CREAM PARLOR"

(featuring Ed "Strangler" Lewis & "Real Deal" Damien Steele)







Honky Tonk Man's 50's diner set is up in the ring... his guests tonight are XPW Remixed president (East Coast) ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS... and the man he hired as on-screen Commissioner, "The Real Deal" DAMIEN STEELE. Both Lewis & Steele are in their business suit finest - Lewis in Boardwalk Empire style, Steele with new millenium swag... HTM is the "Jerry Springer"-like host for this public confrontation... Lewis dresses down Steele for his rash of inept rulings lately... He abused his authority to challenge for the East coast title (see XPW TV Episode #31)… he authorized Jinder Mahal’s cash-in on William Muldoon (which reeks of collaboration and bribery)… he unjustly stripped the great Orville Brown of his title on a technicality (see XPW TV Episode #32)… ”ORR-VILLLE!!! ORR-VILLLE!!!” chants from the crowd… The Commissioner is on thin ice with GDT Inc and Lewis hereby notifies him he’s on job probation… but the cocky Steele (who has been listening with eye rolls and shoulder rugs) retorts with his own fiery accusations…

Ed Lewis, Toots Mondt and their GDT Inc are culpable for creating an unfair, unsafe work environment by sanctioning appearances of escaped, wanted fugitive NICK FN GAGE!!!... Ed Lewis quickly cuts in to say they have no control over those run-ins and have left the duty of corralling Gage to the authorities and to Steele himself (see XPW TV Episode #15)… “Real Deal” Damien Steele claims to have damning evidence of Lewis & Mondt’s collusion to avoid legal ramifications for Gage and allow him to appear at various XPW Remixed events… in other words, they are harboring a fugitive!!!... so if Mister Lewis doesn’t want Damien Steele defecting to “The Commission” and bringing his official title to their doorstep… he better get it right! Damien Steele runs this show and that’s “THE REAL DEAL”!!!



Just then, "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica rips through the arena sound system! Is Nick Gage in the house??? Everybody looks around, as cameras and spotlights pan the crowd... Gage is in the balcony with the fans!... Chicago Bulls jersey, bandanna covering his face and a microphone as usual... Gage angrily addresses Steele from the balcony, challenging his rule and promising to bring martial law to XPW Remixed!... Gage will DIE before ever going back to jail, and he will bring anybody down that tries... Gage closes with another crowd-pleasing, ominous death threat to Steele and leads the crowd in chants of "XPW! XPW!"... play Gage's music as Steele is hurriedly trying to get security into the stands to catch Gage, who has fled already... cameras linger on Steele's frightened and concerned face to end the segment...

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

"BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER"



Sammi Lane

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

Angel is spotted in a dark corner of the locker room – alone and brooding… he is then approached by fellow stable mate SAMMI LANE… the beautiful, bratty Ms. Lane tries talking to the silent Angel, to get some kind of emotion out of him… she begs to see his face, and mocks other wrestling establishments for characters like “Kane” – so called “monsters” who are revealed to be normal men once unmasked… so therefore Angel can’t be THAT scary, right?... she uses her female charm to coerce Angel into slowly removing his mask for her to see…. His back faces the camera with Sammi Lane looking directly on, so you can’t see him but you can see her reaction… she is smiling, until the mask comes up… then her face contorts into HORROR and she SCREAMS!!!! Angel roars, puts his mask back on and runs away in pain and embarrassment!... cameras linger on Sammi Lane’s stunned, speechless, fearful expression as we fade out…


****************************

** CUT TO RING **




JTG gets his "gangsta" entrance, and is serenaded as always by PG-13... they stop at the top of the entrance ramp and perform the lamest, most awkward whiteboy "rap" you've ever heard (presumably while the ring is cleared of the Ice Cream Parlor set)... by the time they make it into the ring and JTG starts his "yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo... YO!" routine, the crowd is suitably heated... but instead of getting the "action" we're promised by JTG, once he finds out his opponent for the night, suddenly JC Ice Baby is the designated pinch hitter!!!

ANGEL (w/ Tony Rumble) versus JC ICE BABY

w/ versus

Solie & Striker are joined on commentary by Tony Rumble, who brags about his camp being the best team in Boston... Systematic squash with the masked horror Angel dominating the overmatched (and outsized) JC Ice Baby in quick order... double-fisted sitout chokeslam by Angel finishes it...

Winner: ANGEL

Postmatch, none other than NICK FN GAGE makes the unscripted run-in through the crowd. Just because he can. Nick Gage clobbers PG-13 in succession, garnering larger cheers with each strike. He steel chairs old XPW Remixed nemesis "Boston Bad Boy" Tony Rumble before tearing up the set a bit, just to get a pop and "NICK FN GAGE!" chants. He's outta there again before security can catch him, while Rumble angrily regroups and Angel looms menacingly

** CUT **


*************************


** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

XPW Remixed part owner and East Coast VP Joseph "Toots" Mondt is seen backstage talking on his cellphone... something BIG is going down tonight, and it involves their portion of the XPW Championship... Suddenly, Mondt is rushed by an IRATE (and perhaps drunken) DANNO O'MAHONEY!!! The former Boston Champion is outraged over the Triple Threats antics and insults and holds Mondt responsible. A few more shady in-crowd comments from O'Mahoney 2.0, leads you to believe he's referencing a few backstage incidents that Mondt has been involved in. O'Mahoney 2.0 is angry and will seek his revenge. After he storms off, cameras linger on Mondt's face expressionless face. But it's clear the gears in his brain are working in a feverish (and diabolical) manner...





** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** King of the Death Match #1 Contender Bout **

MADMAN PONDO vs NECRO BUTCHER vs DANNY HAVOC
vs... ABDULLAH the BUTCHER

(4-Way Steel Cage Death Match)

versus versus versus

** Segment starts with a pre-taped video from The Grand Wizard (his first appearance since being burned by Sabu @ “RAPTURE”)… he is in a hospital bed covered head to toe in bandages and wrappings like the invisible man… his multicolored turban still adorns his head though… Sabu will burn for his sins… no matter what happens the King of the Death Match championship finally belongs to The Commission… on behalf of TGW - the champion OG Sheik is sponsoring a hardcore invitational 4-way dance of death tonight… winner will challenge Sheik for the KotDM title @ “(Another) New Years Revolution”… once again, Sabu is BANNED from competing for the KotDM title and if he dares show up he will be hunted down…



Cameras return ringside to find a huge steel cage surrounding the ring, and two of tonight’s opponents already in the ring (Madman Pondo and Danny Havoc)… XPW Remixed fan favorite NECRO BUTCHER gets a big TV entrance… as soon as he enters, the cage door is slammed shut and bell rings… they briefly exchange a few quizzical glances before flying into combat… classic set of hardcore spots from all 3 Death match legends, as they fly all around/into/and on the steel cage walls… a huge 3-way spot off the top of the cage leaves all three men laying in the center of the ring… just then, reigning KotDM champion OG Sheik appears alongside Abdullah the Butcher!!!... OG Sheik opens the cage doors and directs Abdullah inside!... the three opponents are defenseless as the still-fresh Abdullah the Butcher absolutely savages them… bloody, gruesome and merciless… MadMan Pondo actually crawls over to Necro Butcher at one point to protect him from an onslaught of blows, the beatings are just so overwhelming… but just when it looks like the jig is up, and Abdullah the Butcher will “win” this match just to put Sheik over at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… Sabu’s music hits!!!... crowd pops, OG Sheik looks around in terror to find his nephew… but instead it’s “THE CRAZY MONKEY” JUN KASAI!!!... he winds up scaling the cage and crushing Abdullah the Butcher with a cage-top splash with light tubes!... Now OG Sheik is locked OUT of the cage and get into it fast enough before Kasai has stolen the pinfall!!!

Winner (and new KotDM #1 Contender): JUN KASAI!!!



Postmatch, OG Sheik and Kasai brawl in the cage… Havoc/Pondo/Necro recover enough to triple team Abdullah the Butcher and drive him out… and finally SABU returns to exact his revenge upon the OG Sheik!!!...



Sabu and Kasai double-team Sheik to great cheers… Kasai holds Sheik down while Sabu scales the cage and prepares to crush Sheik’s face with a steel chair Arabian facebuster… but before he can leap from the top of the cage, ONITA has appeared at ringside with a tranquilizer gun!!!... PIFF!!! He shoots the dart at Sabu, who plummets from the top of the cage all the way to the arena floor where he crashes through a table!!!... Big “OOOOOO” and “HOLY S***!” chants from the crowd… OG Sheik scrambles away from Kasai and clutches his belt… Onita helps Sheik back up the ramp, smiling, yelling, whooping and jumping about with the tranquilizer gun in his hand… ONITA: The Sabu Hunter!!!!... Kasai and about a half dozen paramedics tend to Sabu outside the ring





***********************

"TURN OFF THE LIGHTS"
(Lizzy Borden sets woman's rights back 40 years)



XPW Remixed Woman's Div Pres LIZZY BORDEN continues to build her image of what a "woman's wrestling" league should look like. An unlikely working relationship with Hardbody Harrison (see XPW TV Episode #32) has led to Borden's newest craze - the resurrection of apartment wrestling. What's that all about exactly? ** ahem **, just take a look for yourself...



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
__________________________________________________________________________________________________



B-BOY versus HUMAN TORNADO versus HARDBODY HARRISON

versus versus

Big pimpin entrance for Human Tornado… Pope D’Angelo Dinero ain’t got nuttin on him… B-Boy is the angry aggressor and odds on favorite to win the match… but Hardbody Harrison’s cadre of female “wrestler” escorts is truly a sight to behold… meanwhile Solie & Striker are hardcore pimping “(Another) New Years Revolution” on commentary… excellent 3-way exchanges with Human Tornado providing the pizzazz and entertainment, B-Boy the vicious shoot strikes and Harrison the aggressive muscle moves… One thing we learn about Human Tornado after he no-sells a low blow from Hardbody Harrison: he's got balls of steel!!!... In the end the returning MILDRED BURKE runs in through the crowd and manhandles the female “wrestling trainees” outside the ring before getting her hands on Hardbody Harrison… Guillotine neck drop from Burke upon Harrison propels him into a “Delikado” finisher by B-Boy… but Tornado outmaneuvers him for the pinfall – his first victory in XPW Remixed! B-Boy and Harrison are outraged, albeit for different reasons… meanwhile the victorious Human Tornado dances it up in the ring and aisle way with Harrison’s hoes (before Hardbody angrily drags them away)… announcers put over Mildred Burke for her guts and courage in confronting her attacker (see XPW TV Episode #31), but wonder if she’s bitten off more than she can chew here…

Winner: HUMAN TORNADO


Mildred Burke is back!!!


*****************************


** Quick comical backstage sketch where a battered, and bloody Necro Butcher and MadMan Pondo are huddled together on a dirty locker room floor recounting their beating... when suddenly a bright light from off stage radiates the entire screen... Pondo and Necro's eyes widen as they stare off into the light like they're in a trance... **



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



The well-dressed Alex Riley, Matt Morgan & Missy Hyatt are caught paying JACK SWAGGER a little visit backstage… voyeuristic camera footage of Riley (w/ Morgan’s backing and Hyatt’s encouragement) bullying his former partner… unfortunately, as Morgan reminds Swagger, there’s a “no way out” policy in the Diamond Dynasty… brutal backstage beatdown of Swagger at the hands of Riley & Morgan (while Hyatt cheers and claps them on)… smiling, and fixing their suit and ties, Riley & Morgan finish Swagger and spit upon his corpse…




** CUT **

*********************


SAMOA JOE vs DRAKE YOUNGER

versus

Backstage promos from each man to start… Drake Younger reps for the Shooters Club (victorious in their “Best of 7” feud with the Cali Cripplers @ “GENOCIDE”)… Samoa Joe demands competition… “Joe’s gonna KIIILLLL youuuuu” chants from the crowd… Younger hangs tough with the technical exchanges but Joe just outsized him… competitive squash for Samoa Joe who reminds the world why he was such a game-changing prospect in 2006… Solie reminds you Samoa Joe was the last ROH champion of the Polland regime... Striker reports a rumor that Hulk Hogan was afraid to face Samoa Joe in competition, which was part of the reason ROH went under... muscle buster/rear naked choke… Younger resists and refuses to tap, and goes limp when the ref checks his hand.

Winner: SAMOA JOE

** CUT TO SKIT **


*************************

"OFFICER CABANA's CRACKDOWN"

** MINI-SKETCH **

Welcome to the debut of the television show "OFFICER CABANA's CRACKDOWN". It's the newest Reality TV sensation in which valiant crusader of law & order Officer Cabana (reigning XPW TV Champion) cracks down on criminals (like the little old lady jaywalking, or the two men arrested for being Black on a Sunday). But the highlight of the sketch is Cabana's capture of the "evangelist conman" MESSIAH. Footage is aired from after their match at "GENOCIDE", where a beaten, bloodied and handcuffed Messiah is hauled away barely conscious - stuffed into the back of a squad car - shackled up and beaten more in his tiny jail cell. Meanwhile Officer Cabana continues to enjoy the perks of being Television champion...



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

SAMI CALLIHAN (2011) & HAVANA PITBULLS (2004)
versus
THUMBTACK JACK (2009) & GENERATION ME (2011)


versus

Brief backstage vignette with Generation ME getting acquainted with their weird, creepy and strange tag team partner for the night Thumbtack Jack. The German-mad scientist/”Hostel” movie-inspired maniac tries to show his affinity for GenME by brandishing a scalpel (!) and offering to SCAR them up (!!) – proudly revealing a large, scarred pattern on his own rib cage that repulses them (!!!)… GenME politely decline his offer for scarification… in the ring, Sami Callihan & the Havana Pitbulls are a fantasy match-made-in-heaven… stiff, creative and beyond intense they go ballistic upon their opponents, all whose superb selling ability make them look even more superhuman… GenME dazzle with aerial synchronization moves… Striker explains a little bit of Thumbtack Jack’s “scarification” sub-culture that vaguely disgusts Solie… Pitbulls & GenME wind up outside the ring where Callihan winds up finishing Thumbtack Jack with his “Stretch Muffler” submission, nearly snapping Jack’s spine in half… Callihan gets his solo moment in the end to soak up the victory and let the camera close-up linger on his twisted, contorted maniac face.

Winners: SAMI CALLIHAN & HAVANA PITBULLS


** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

"REAL CHAMPIONS MAKE IT RAIN"



** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

The (Real) Kings of Wrestling, Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter are spotted at a sleazy strip club, where their valet Jessica Darlin is the feature performer… their XPW Remixed tag team championship belts are prominently displayed… the sketch follows them as they guide the cameras through this den of sensual depravity, on their way to ostensibly joining an all-female orgy… but as the champagne room is getting extra sexxxy and cozy… Idol & Shatter are stunned to find BLKOut members Ruckus & Sabian already there waiting for them! Set-up!... the former tag team champions jump the (Real) KoW during their own strip club party and both teams tear the bar up… half-naked strippers scream and run away while glasses smash and hundreds of dollar bills are scattered in the sky!... after BLKOut demolish the Kings, we are left with Annie Social to confront a nude Jessica Darlin onstage (with Jessica’s body parts strategically hidden from the cameras view)… Social winds up beating up Jessica and tossing her from the stage!.. BLKOut is taking over this party!... Woman’s champion Annie Social grinds on the pole alongside other strippers while BLKOut scream “play some music!” and taunt the fallen (Real) Kow by taking their stacks of money and tossing it in the air for all the strippers (aka "making it rain")!!!




** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



A sad and dejected “Rockstar” Joey Kaos is spotted sulking in a dark stairwell, when he is approached by ex-girlfriend and heartbreaker Missy Hyatt… he is still clearly hurt and asks why she left him while begging her to take him back… she teases him and eggs him on, until revealing big Matt Morgan and her man Alex Riley lurking in the shadows!... they emerge and have a few snarky remarks for Kaos, all uttered with evil smirks… before beating him down viciously (culminating in a Matt Morgan suplex/Rockbottom to Kaos through a stack of wooden pallets)… Riley & crew laugh amongst each other and toast themselves as “geniuses” for removing half of their tag team opponent tonight… Kaos was supposed to team with “Sick” Nick Mondo tonight to combat Riley & Morgan… now it’s a handicap match!!!


** CUT TO RING **


*****************************


MATT MORGAN & ALEX RILEY (w/ Missy Hyatt)
versus
"SICK" NICK MONDO... and EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!


w/ versus

Diamond Dynasty get their grand TV entrance… Riley is the official group spokesman, and takes the mic pre-match to crow about his teams accomplishments… Swagger is done, Jackson is done, Kaos is done, Miz is done… and after tonight “Sick” Nick Mondo will be too, after his partner for the night Kaos was taken out of the building on a stretcher (see earlier)… “Sick” Nick Mondo still fearlessly enters to fight to the death and the crowd salutes his sacrifice… Mondo schools Riley but becomes quickly overmatched when Hyatt starts interfering and Matt Morgan tags in… Solie talks about “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers’ epic title reign but there are some that still say his is not the “real” XPW championship… Mondo takes out Riley with a surprise “lifecutter” finisher, but can’t pull himself over for the pin… just then, Big Ezekiel Jackson (with taped ribs from going through the wall last night @ “Genocide”) makes his way to ringside to join the match!... crowd going ballistic… Hot tag to Jackson!... ring-clearing, crowd-pleasing brawl… Jackson has Morgan trapped in a Torture Rack backbreaker!... Mondo hits an “Assault Driver” on Riley for the pin!... Jackson screams for Morgan to finish the fight, but Dynasty slink away up the aisle in defeat…

Winners: “SICK” NICK MONDO & EZEKIEL JACKSON


*********************


** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Shane Douglas, Chris Candido & Eddie Gilbert assault and attack CURLY friggin MOE of all people... payback for "disrespecting" Sunny @ "Genocide"... Douglas cuts a quick close-up promo in the camera, dissing Sheamus, O'Mahoney 2.0 and the rest of the establishment, until spittle covers the camera lens.





** CUT TO VIDEO **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** ORVILLE BROWN VIDEO TRIBUTE **



EPILOGUE:

The first XPW Remixed Midwestern champion was in a terrible car accident (see "Genocide" for more details). He was in a coma and suffered severe brain damage. He went through long agonizing hours of therapy and exercises. He regained full use of his body. He regained his strength and stamina but he never regained the ability to respond automatically. He had to think about every move he made. He had been exceptionally agile and quick for a man of his size. No matter how hard or how much he worked he was simply unable to react with the speed necessary to do what he wanted to do most - wrestle again. While his career was over, his life was not. He became a very successful promoter and enjoyed staying in the business and with the wrestlers he new so well. He received a great deal of satisfaction watching Lou Thesz, who became one of the all time great champions.



*****************************

MAIN EVENT

** Midwest Championship **



LOU THESZ © versus ADAM PEARCE (w/ Ad Santel)

versus w/

Big-time main event feel here, with Thesz getting his first entrance as champion… the ovation he receives is thunderous and lingers long past the announcers introductions… Pearce is accompanied as always by head coach Ad Santel, with his arm and shoulder still in a sling/cast (see XPW Online #7)… a nice feel-out segment to start, with each man familiar with each other’s moves by now… Solie calls their match at “Genocide” one of the purest ‘rassling clinics in Territory Wars history… Pearce works the neck of Thesz, while Lou counters with leg and knee locks… this time Ad Santel gets involved and a stiff WHACK from his cast has the crowd gasping at the closest near-fall of the night… Thesz battles back but now his Shooters Club partners Masahiko Kimura & Dan Severn have made their way to ringside to watch Santel… Thesz counters a Pearce jumping piledriver attempt into his STF submission!... Ad Santel wants to interfere but thinks better of it when he sees Kimura & Severn eying him… so Pearce winds up tapping out!

Winner by submission (and STILL Midwest Champion): LOU THESZ

Post match, the USO BROTHERS (with Tamina) jump Severn & Kimura from the rear… all 4 men wind up brawling backstage… meanwhile Santel & Pearce attempt to blindside Thesz but he fights them off… Drake Younger shows up for the Kendo stick Coup de grâce, driving Pearce & Santel from the ring for good… this leaves champion Lou Thesz alone to soak up the fans adulation, and ask for a microphone… the champ’s got something to say…

** Thanks God, the fans and his training partners... says his championship is the truest in professional wrestling... calls out "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers!!! **




LOU THESZ: My quarrel with Rogers dated back to a single incident occurring during my Army days, shortly before I was discharged. I was on a two-week furlough and had lined up some wrestling dates in the St. Louis territory. Rogers, who wasn’t yet wrestling his rough style, was the top attraction in the territory at the time, and we were scheduled to wrestle the main event on my very first night back, in Louisville, Kentucky. Since I didn’t have any transportation, Rogers met me at the train station in St. Louis and I hopped in his car. As we were driving to Louisville, Rogers started talking about what we could expect that night. He was a very hot card, and since I was well-known to fans as a two-time world champion, it looked like a sell-out, a good payoff for both of us. Then he started bitching. ‘The promoter has even brought in Ed Lewis to referee our match,’ he said. “Why do we need that fat old bastard? The money they’re paying him should be going in our pockets." I stared at Rogers for a couple of moments before asking him what he had been doing before he broke into professional wrestling. He said he’d been a cop in New Jersey. ‘Let me tell you something, kid,’ I said. ‘If it wasn’t for Ed Lewis you’d still be walking a beat. None of us would be making any money at this if he hadn’t paved the way. Don’t ever talk that way, in front of me or anyone, about the man whose the foundation of our industry – it’s disrespectful. What’s more, he’s a very dear friend of mine...."


** But instead, "Black-and-Yellow" blasts through the arena soundsystem and we get XPW Remixed champion (East Coast) BRUNO SAMMARTINO?!?! He has a mic to address Thesz, still in the ring... **




BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Before the book came out, I never had any bad feelings or bad experiences with Lou Thesz. I respected him for what he was to the business. Like anybody else, there were people through the years both pros and cons. There were people who spoke very highly of him and some not so. But that goes for anybody. What bothered me about him and the book, not so much with me because I'm here and I can defend myself, but he spoke of Rocca and Carnera and the Englishman, Bert Assarati, in a very, very negative fashion. I resented it. I lost a lot of respect for the man. I knew Rocca personally. We were tag-team partners in New York and we wrestled each other in New York. With Thesz, that's not what bothered me. Let's not compare Buddy Rogers with Rocca or Carnera as far as their reputation in the business. Not too many guys had a worse reputation in the business than Buddy. There's other things. Thesz doesn't get along with Karl Gotch. He didn't get along too great with Danny Hodge. But these guys are all living and well. How come he didn't speak of them what he feels of them? I know there are bad feelings. He speaks of people who are dead, who cannot defend themselves in any way, shape or form. That's what I resent.


** Sammartino holds claim to the one true championship in wrestling! He's willing to put the belt up against anyone anywhere to prove it! As tension builds between Thesz & Sammartino, now face to face with their respective championship belts gleaming... the instrumental for "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" by Kanye West cuts in! It's the West Coast champion "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS and his entourage!!! **




"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: This particular war will end up with -- you see, there's three big Caesars in Rome... there's too many Caesars in Rome, and Rome has to fall apart -- or the Caesars have to eat each other up in order to accomplish what they set out to do. The worst that can come out of this whole thing is that I have to say to Pfefer, TGW and the "Commission", 'Let's get away from XPW Remixed and join Vince, and we'll get the whole East Coast,' and so they'll kiss and make up. See, Sammartino won't let Thesz get any bigger than Sammartino is, and Thesz won't let Sammartino get any bigger than Thesz is. They both want to devour me, but instead of uniting -- saying, 'Hey man, the hell with this personality struggle, let's eat that son of a bitch up' -- which they're very capable of doing -- well, daddy, you take it from me: Sammartino and Lou will be at each other's throats the moment one gets bigger than the other!!!


** Pride, ego and legacy mix with the volatile fanbase of XPW Remixed to provide an explosive concoction. With the crowd urging them on each man tries to one-up the other until Goddamnit we gon' put ALL the belts on the line!!! Fuck it! You want unity? You want one ring to rule them all? An ultimate and definitive END to a decades long sports debate??? So be it! "(Another) New Years Revolution"... January 28th... Live from Boston... Triple Threat match... Sammartino vs Rogers vs Thesz... with ALL the belts on the line! TITLE UNIFICATION!!! Emotions are high, fans are going crazy, now management is making the run-in... Pfefer looks like he's anxiously trying to talk Rogers down, while Mondt & Lewis and associates mill about... TITLE UNIFICATION bout @ "(Another) New Years Revolution"??? But is that what the fans want??? **




LOU THESZ: I had learned to live with the success Rogers had been give while so many of us worked hard for a sport we loved. But the knowledge of his contempt for Ed and true wrestlers was more than I could tolerate. I wouldn’t let Rogers win, and he certainly couldn’t beat me, so he had no alternative but to go along with whatever I wanted to do. At least that was some satisfaction for me. Buddy Rogers and I were to wrestled many more times in the coming years, always as the main-event attraction, and we made an awful lot of money together. One thing fans never saw in any of those matches though, was Buddy Rogers with his hand raised at the end – I never let him win, just on principle. Until XPW Remixed. In later years I realized that every industry has its equivalent of Buddy Rogers – someone who reaches the top but never understands the objective.


** Epic, legendary moment between all 3 universal champions, as they stand face to face to face inside the squared circle - a wave of humanity going crazy behind them - and each of their championship belts over their shoulders... a snapshot for the ages and history in the making... TITLE UNIFICATION... only in XPW Remixed... only @ "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!! **




** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

** BIGELOW’s FINAL ANALYSIS **

As we were hot off the heels of a really good PPV outing, XPW Remixed was another exciting show as usual. As has become the recent trend, we have stellar matches, the crowd was into everything and the energy was high. Riley & Morgan had a strong night as they put a hurting on a few guys. Officer Cabana ultimately cost Messiah the TV title. Messiah actually had a decent little title run as his matches were solid and he played the underdog champion role well enough. I wasn’t crazy about how quickly they swept the Diamond Dynasty turmoil under the rug after they spent the past few weeks harping on and on about it. I am hoping it festers up again as the next couple of shows go down. We did start to see a lot of the focus of the shift to Jinder Mahal as a major player and almost as an equal to Muldoon. We are also seeing the official elevation of Lou Thesz to the main event level and he delivered a great promo in the final segment. Another guy getting a big push is Sick Nick Mondo. While he may not be aces in the ring, he does bring a lot of energy and charisma and the crowd is behind him so far. Angel also picked up another big win as did The Great Gama. The final showdown was killer stuff too and the visual of the entire XPW Remixed Corporate Heirarchy standing in the aisle facing Thesz/Sammartino/Rogers as they had the stare-down was great stuff. All in all, this was another fun show that kept up a hot pace all the way through and delivered a lot of angle advancement and storyline developments. Grade: B

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...

(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION!!!


LIVE on PPV January 28th!!!



** HUGE Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout!!! **
Bruno Sammartino © vs Lou Thesz © vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers ©

Terry Funk versus Jon Moxley
(Loser leaves XPW)

** XPW Tag Team Titles **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling © (w/ Jessica Darlin) vs BLKOut (w/ Annie Social)


JANUARY 28th, live only on PPV!!!

** Fade out **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

BIGELOW: Bigelow's Replay: WCW Nitro 4/7/97
LOU THESZ: "Hooker" (his autobiography)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Wrestling Perspective #71
BUDDY ROGERS: Sleeperhold by Ray Tennenbaum








[Edited on 1-20-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-18-2012 at 11:47 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #9





Cut to the in-studio host for the show:


Sunny

I love hosting all the TV shows because it's basically my show – I'm on the whole show for the whole hour. There’s so much stuff! I have a lot of fun here.

** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR "(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION"
(Title Unification bout to headline card!!!)




XPW Remixed unleashed another game changing prospect upon the Territory Wars last week. A fantasy wrestling match-up for the eons – accentuated by new millennium devices – derived of ancient gladiatorial combat. “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers. Bruno Sammartino. Lou Thesz. The names say it all. Add into the mix a volatile, Spartacan-era audience thirsting for mortal combat… a shooters gallery of rogues and scoundrels from the Boardwalk Empire era… and THREE of the biggest championships in the Territory Wars UNIVERSE and suddenly you understand… an epiphany of wrestling proportions… this my friend, is indeed EPIC.



This is BIGGER than wrestling. This is 3 philosophies clashing… three armies of soldiers colliding… 3 cultures, world apart, coming together… this is “(Another) New Years Revolution” and THIS is TITLE UNIFICATION bout to determine the Undisputed Wrestling Champion of the WORLD. Each man brings with him a piece of hardware that certifies HIM as the greatest. Each of those belts, legacies, lineage and heritage will be merged to produce the most dominant artifact in fantasy wrestling… The XPW Remixed Undisputed championship. But to understand where we are at, you need to understand where we came from…




Wrestling is, was, has been and always will be the sport of kings. From Hercules to Achilles to Abraham Lincoln a strong fighting lineage has been traced deep within human kind. It is an urge that cannot be denied. Pro wrestling fed the need for mortal combat, while combining it with the very real aspects of monetary compensation (American greed at its finest) to foster one of the greatest get-rich schemes of the 20th century. The raw idea began to take shape, but it took 3 master craftsman to mold into the nuclear-powered engine we now know it as. They are infamous, and only whispered about in pro wrestling circles – while simultaneously finding that legacy forever intertwined with the modern day product… THE GOLD DUST TRIO.




At the behest of the MadStepDad (akin to re-opening the gates of Hell), the Gold Dust Trio were resurrected upon an unsuspecting fantasy wrestling universe with the sole intent of CHANGING THE GAME. Again. What was old is new again. From Frank Gotch to Frank Shamrock – Pancrase to Steel Cages – wrestling has come full circle. MMA influences with pro wrestling pageantry. The Gold Dust Trio modeled pro wrestling after the successful Broadway packages of the day – something Paul Heyman continued with ECW – and we see every day today as wrestling fans. The fantasy Gold Dust Trio (Ed Lewis, Toots Mondt & The Grand Wizard) funded and founded “BCCW” – “Broken City Championship Wrestling”. Based in the North East of the US where pro wrestling has flourished in the past, they succeeded in creating one of (if not THE) hottest underground org in the Fantasy Wrestling universe. But all good things must come to an end, and when their campaign of darkness was overcome by a Hero of Light they crumbled. Fraud, conspiracy, bribery, extortion and even murder accusations sank the BCCW ship until it was finally mismanaged into the same great financial abyss as Enron and Adelphia. Gold Dust Trio fled into the Mists, never to be seen or heard from again. Until a spark begot a flash fire out in Los Angeles…



The Gold Dust Trio didn’t disappear after all. They just went into hiding. In the sleazy, porn-infested, drug-abusing, soul-shattered ultraviolent underground of LA independent wrestling. They adopted the long dormant initials of “XPW”, because the stain of the original name matched the depravity they hoped to unleash upon the Territory Wars universe. So you think we’re the worst, trashiest, raunchiest, most depraved, deplorable, disgusting, scumbags in the fantasy wrestling universe??? Fuck it then we ARE. Nobody likes us so we will DESTROY your world. Hence, the plague of “XPW Remixed” was spread amongst the people. But they didn’t count on the lone specter of light left amongst their dark kingdom sparking a revolution…



Bruno Sammartino – representing the souls of the enslaved serfs turned conquerors – rose up to challenge for this new piece of championship hardware. To them it represented everything they hoped to turn fantasy wrestling into – bloody anarchy, destruction and death. To him, it represented the crown jewels of the kingdom – to be stolen from the oppressive monarchs and dictators, and redistributed to the starving peasants, ham-and-eggers and 9-5’ers of the empire. With the Kings crown upon his head, Sammartino sought to topple their dark wave before it could consume the universe… even if it meant sacrificing himself for the cause. But Bruno soon came to find out, he wasn’t alone.



The legend Lou Thesz – nearly forgotten in contemporary wrestling circles – was born for the Remixed version of pro wrestling. Back when “hooking” and “shooting” was viable, dangerous and very very real, Lou Thesz was king. The Georges St. Pierre-meets-Brock Lesnar of his day, Lou Thesz is a wrestling machine. Much like Bruno, he is disgusted by the turn pro wrestling has taken in recent generations and that bitterness almost consumed him. But along with XPW Remixed came a rebirth. Another chance to right the wrongs of blood-sucking promoters who leeched off the backs of the boys for centuries. Isn’t it ironic, that for all the honor and integrity Thesz & Sammartino exude, they were drawn (like moths to a flame) to the most depraved, appalling, HATED fantasy wrestling league in the world? Shunned and forsaken by those who built their companies upon Thesz & Sammartino’s back, they both came to XPW Remixed with the same mission: restore pro wrestling to its rightful glory. If they can do that amidst the squalor, degeneration and decay of XPW Remixed, they can do it anywhere.



“Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers is the antithesis of Sammartino & Thesz. A consummate showman, performer and ultimate conman, Rogers is the flashy and controversial forefather of such men as Superstar Graham, Ric Flair & Dolph Ziggler. He IS pro wrestling and remains in the record book as the very first WWWF Champion in history. But he’s also responsible for the financial mismanagement (and ultimate destruction) of BCCW, and the controversial “splitting” of the XPW Championship. Disputing the end of his Iron Man match with Sammartino at “LIBERTY or DEATH”, Rogers walked out at the end of regulation. While Lewis & Mondt sought to crown Sammartino as champion – Rogers brought in Jack Pfefer and sided with The Grand Wizard to stake his OWN claim as champion. Some draw parallels between the modern day “split” of RAW & Smackdown, but it’s actually a throwback to wrestling angles of old that led to the formation of countless “territories” with their own “world” champion. But at “(Another) New Years Revolution” – on January 28th from Boston MA – these eternal debates will be put to rest FOREVER, when Rogers, Sammartino & Thesz put their titles on the line to determine the ONE TRUE champion!








*XPW WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIPDATE
1Bruno SammartinoNew Years Revolution
2Ezekiel Jackson (2012)Fall Out
3Bruno SammartinoNight of Champions
4"Nature Boy" Buddy RogersBaptized in Blood
***absorbed ROH title**Retribution






*XPW EAST COAST CHAMPIONSHIPDATE
1Bruno SammartinoLiberty or Death








*XPW MIDWEST CHAMPIONSHIPDATE
1Orville BrownXPW TV Episode #27
2Adam PearceXPW TV Episode #32
3Lou TheszGenocide



****************


SUNNY SAYZ:



Anything can happen in this crazy business.


** CUT TO RING **
____________________________________________________________________________________

WEEDMAN versus TONY ALTOMARE (w/ La Coka Nostra)

versus



Entertaining, character-building match to start the show… Tony Altomare is the tough-talking Tony Soprano-like tuff guy who’s gonna show his underlings how it’s done… Weedman is trying to rebuild his stock in XPW Remixed after being turfed out by Officer Cabana… On pre-recorded commentary, Solie & Striker discuss Cabana’s title win (and arrest) of Messiah @ “Genocide”… maybe we’ll see Weedman again on the next episode of “Cabana’s Crackdown”… Tony Altomare was told to tone down his Mafioso act by real-life wiseguys… Lil Guido & Tony Mamaluke get a face-full of premium marijuana smoke and wind up clubbing each other unconscious… Weedman lures Sal E. Graziano into place and the big man accidentally squashes his capo with a splash… Weedman with the strawberry-flavored roll up.

Winner: WEEDMAN


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________


"THE RISE of an EVIL EMPIRE"

The Great Khali's blood brother Ranjin Singh divulges the familial connection between reigning Boston champion Jinder Mahal and his family. Jinder Mahal has promised some kind of jihad to occur in Boston on January 28th, the date of "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!



FEAR JINDER MAHAL!!!

INTRODUCING THE EVIL EMPIRE…


Raisha Saeed: Prophet of doom… promised a great calamity upon the Olympia and spoke of a curse.


Great Khali: Indestructible weapon of the Gods… one of the largest men in Territory Wars history… bred for destruction and at Mahal’s utter disposal.


Great GAMA: ”The Lion of the Punjab”… only man to remain undefeated throughout his entire career… guest starred in the “Shadow Hearts: Covenant” video game for PS2… renowned strongman is Mahal’s mercenary warrior and answers to his beckon call.


Jinder Mahal: Privileged Punjabi Sikh leads the Empire in their jihad against XPW Remixed… is planning a massive attack in Boston on January 28th, the date of “(Another) New Years Revolution”… nephew of Gama Singh… broke Hakushi’s arm… Beat William Muldoon for the Boston title @ “GENOCIDE”…


** CUT **
____________________________________________________________________________________

"A SHARED THREAT"



Triple Threat locker room… Shane Douglas rallies the troops, disavows any friction… claims they are under attack by conspirators… the world is against them… so they beat down O'Mahoney 2.0 & Curly Moe (see XPW TV Episode #33)... now introducing to the Triple Threat team... their official group “bodyguard”, and re-introducing to XPW Remixed…

BIG SHAD G!!!



** Shane Douglas cackles maniacally as he gazes upon his giant insurance policy… Eddie Gilbert looks distrustful and paranoid… and Candido is absolutely incredulous as Big Shad G and Sunny share some pretty blatant (and hilariously obvious) flirtations… Big Shad G has joined the Triple Threat team! **

*******************

SUNNY SAYZ:



"Poor Orville Brown. Who knows if he’s ever going to get in the ring again. That remains to be seen. As far as anybody else, I love Big Shad G. I’m a big fan of his, and I was from the first time I saw him. I would like to work with him!



** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

DRAKE YOUNGER vs DANNY HAVOC vs SCOTTY VORTEKZ

versus versus

Match was born out of the Shooters Club victory in the "Best of 7" series. Since then, opponents have come out of the woodwork to challenge the best. They come from all over, even the sewers of professional wrestling. "The Psycho Shooter" Drake Younger is the policeman of the Shooters Club when it comes to raw, underground extremism. Witness him in action tonight against perennial XPW Remixed Death Match contender Danny Havoc and featuring the one-time appearance of underground Indy sensation Scotty Vortekz. Drake Younger refers to himself as the "Ultraviolent Underground" champion and has dared anybody to test that claim...


Winner: DRAKE YOUNGER
____________________________________________________________________________________

POGO the CLOWN versus USO's (w/ Ad Santel)
(Handicap Match)


versus w/

New Jack is MIA… he’s not in any of the surrounding jails, nor has he returned any calls… he’s just “gone”… but his contract with XPW Remixed remains… XPW Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele has a quick one-on-one convo with Cali Cripplers head coach Ad Santel in his office… they will NOT be cancelling the upcoming match as a result of New Jack’s absence, instead it will be a handicap match… things proceed as planned from there… Pogo the Clown gets a few “big man” spots and bounces the Uso’s off his gigantic body… announcers speak on Ad Santel’s training camp, and segue to Thesz’ title win (and subsequent rematch) against Adam Pearce and the upcoming TITLE UNIFICATION bout at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… in the end, Pogo is grounded and each of the Uso’s (+ Tamina in the final dive) came flying off the top rope with splashes one after the other for the pin.

Winners: USOs

** CUT **
____________________________________________________________________________________

MAIN EVENT
** XPW Remixed Woman's Championship **




ANNIE SOCIAL vs TAMINA (w/ Ad Santel)

versus

Announcers put Tamina over for her 2nd generation heritage and Ad Santel’s training… she’s the powerhouse bully of XPW Remixed woman’s division… Annie Social stays resilient and bounces back (get it?) against Tamina… extended face-in-peril match portion for Social as Tamina shows off her offense… but a missed superfly splash from the top rope opens Tamina up for a sunset flip/powerbomb from Social for the victory!!!

Winner (and STILL XPW Woman's champion): ANNIE SOCIAL



[color=pink]Social's music and title celebration are cut off by XPW Remixed woman's division pres Lizzy Borden's theme song. She has a house mic and addresses Social from the entrance ramp. Lizzy Borden predicts something sexy and sensual for the woman's champion next week on XPW TV. Another very special menage-trois Bikini match! And we ALL know how that ended last time!!! Annie Social defends her title in a 3-way bikini match! Next week on XPW TV!!! Oh yeah, one of her opponents will be LIZZY BORDEN herself! And if Annie Social doesn't do business the right way (whatever THAT means...) she'll be FIRED!!!



************************

SUNNY SAYZ:



First of all, I think if you have more than five girls at one time it’s way too much. It takes all the specialness out of it. When I was [in XPW Original], there were three of us, and every time you saw one of us it meant something. Now, there’s a girl in practically every single segment on the show. To have a women’s match on every show I think is just too much. I’m not a fan of women’s wrestling. Just leave that part to the guys!!

** FADE OUT **
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...

(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION!!!


LIVE on PPV January 28th!!!




** HUGE Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout!!! **
Bruno Sammartino © vs Lou Thesz © vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers ©

Terry Funk versus Jon Moxley
(Loser leaves XPW)

** XPW Tag Team Titles **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling © (w/ Jessica Darlin) vs BLKOut (w/ Annie Social)


JANUARY 28th, live only on PPV!!!

** Fade out **

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

SUNNY: Baltimore Sun Interview 2008




[Edited on 1-20-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-20-2012 at 04:54 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #34



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

We are live from Rutland MA tonight on our way towards Boston for "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!! The deck is stacked tonight with wrestling action. Reigning Boston champion Jinder Mahal will defend against Olympia stablemate Mil Mascaras - but has the Mexican superstar returned from injury too soon??? Plus, Annie Social defends the Woman's title in a Bikini Match, a special "Pose Down" challenge between Big Zeke & the Blueprint, and all three of the Top Champions in XPW Remixed have their official contract signing tonight for the Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout at "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!




***********************

”A WORD FROM THE COMPANY (East Coast)”



Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Joseph “Toots” Mondt have the floor… in the biggest business decision in XPW Remixed history, the company will finally begin it’s long awaited merging process… unlike the West Coast Commission, this unity is something Lewis & Mondt strongly support… While they run the risk of being ousted after “(Another) New Years Revolution” (if they lose their stake of the championship), it is a gamble they are willing to take for the greater good… they are working to stack the first XPW card of the new year properly… so in addition to the Triple Threat Unification bout, they have also signed a very special TV title match between champion Officer Cabana and a challenger to be named later tonight…

** CUT TO RING **

_________________________________________________________________________________

** Boston Championship **



JINDER MAHAL (w/ Evil Empire) versus MIL MASCARAS (w/ William Muldoon)

versus

The Evil Empire get a sick introduction video, in the vein of Showtime's "Homeland" or Mark Wahlberg's "Shooter"... Jinder Mahal's dynasty is looking to conquer XPW Remixed, and with it their planned strike - or "jihad" - upon Boston MA @ "(Another) New Years Revolution"... William Muldoon still not medically cleared to compete but is defying doctors orders to second his man Mascaras tonight... Hakushi's arm was broken by Mahal (see XPW TV Episode #33)... Mascaras returning early from his own injury suffered at the hands of Mahal at "GENOCIDE" to challenge for the title here... his arm is bandaged and Mahal targets it early and often... a few violent spots into the ring post and steel ring steps for Mascaras… Raesha Saeed’s shenanigans draw the ire of William Muldoon, who runs into the brick wall of Khali while chasing her off… Muldoon actually outboxes Khali on the entrance ramp while Jinder Mahal locks Mascaras in a steel chair-assisted cross arm breaker outside the ring… now Great GAMA is getting it on with Muldoon while referees and security intervene… Mahal releases Mascaras from the arm breaker and slides back into the ring just in time to beat the count… post match, Mahal has a microphone and with his Empire behind him goes on to disparage the Olympia and threaten a jihad upon Boston… but this time Muldoon answers him on the mic… doctors orders be DAMNED! William Muldoon will be there at “(Another) New Years Revolution“ to answer Mahal‘s jihad head-on!!! William Muldoon gets his championship rematch at “(Another) New Years Revolution“!!!!

Winner by countout (and STILL Boston Champion): JINDER MAHAL

** CUT TO VIDEO **



William Muldoon once played the role of Spartacus on Broadway, and supports the newest season of the infamous TV show beginning January 27th 2012 only on Starz!!! (Un)Official sponsors of "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!



William Muldoon IS Spartacus, and he fights to reclaim his crown at "(Another) New Years Revolution!" Live only on PPV January 28th!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

_________________________________________________________________________________

"PLAYAZ BALL"



Skit finds BLKOut members Sabian and Ruckus arriving at an invite only party to find it's a porn convention of some kind... they are immediately recognized and pseudo-seduced by a slew of scantily-clad female performers on hand for the convention... then they bump into Jessica Darlin who has a few words with them, lulling them into a false sense of security, then BAM!!! Austin Idol and Phil "Gunner" Shatter blindside them! The (Real) Kings of Wrestling toss BLKOut around the porn convention as women scream and scramble and male fans congregate to watch the fight... the two powerhouse tag team champions manhandle the smaller Sabian and Ruckus, ending with a huge double powerbomb through a table that sends all kinds of porn DVDs cascading down upon them, burying them in smut. (Real) KoW made their statement, and Jessica Darlin gets the last word on BLKOut as they lay twitching on the ground...




The (Real) Kings of Wrestling are ready for their tag team title defense against BLKOut at "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!

** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________________________

BRUNO SAMMARTINO



3x XPW Remixed Champion

2x WWWF Champion (with reigns totaling 10+ years)

Former NWA (Triplehermit-version) champion


RECORD IN XPW SINGLES COMPETITION

WINS: 15
LOSSES: 1
NC: 2

Bruno Sammartino is one of the most colossal names in all of fantasy wrestling. He is to the 60s and 70s as Hogan was to the 80s, Austin & Rock to the 90s and John Cena to the 2010s. A steadfast crusader of old-school traditions and Italian pride, Sammartino stands proudly defiant of the raunchy filth and drug abuse that runs rampant in new millennium fantasy wrestling. Sammartino became the first XPW Remixed champion in company history when he defeated two other men at the inaugural “New Years Revolution” event. He defeated the scourge of the Cannibal Cartel when he blasted their capo Vic Grimes to Hell in an exploding ring match (see “Halloween in Hell”). He defeated the Black Army and regained his title from Ezekiel Jackson (2012) at “Night of Champions”, and he beat “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers in a disputed decision at “Liberty of Death” that actually led to the fracture of the XPW Remixed championship.

"SCRAPES, SHOOTS & SHENANIGANS"

* Since the inception of “fantasy wrestling”, Bruno Sammartino has had his share of scrapes, shoots and shenanigans. But some of the illest incidents have been the REALEST incidents. One time, Sammartino faced Chick Garibaldi in an afternoon match at the Sunnyside Gardens in New York. During the match, Sammartino bodyslammed Garibaldi and immediately noticed his opponent's eyes roll up inside his head. By the time the ref checked on the fallen wrestler, he was dead in the ring. It was later determined that Garibaldi had died from a heart attack. In the movie Legends Never Die, Sammartino stated that it took him many years to get over that incident.

* During this time, Bruno was involved in a shoot with Dr. Bill Miller. In a tag match with Tony Parisi against Miller and Baron Sicluna, Miller( who had a long amateur wrestling background) decided he would shoot on both Parisi and Bruno. After taking a beating in the ring, Parisi tagged out to Bruno. When Miller attempted to shoot on him, Bruno immediately snapped on a front facelock until Miller bled from his nose and passed out in the middle of the ring. Afterwards, Miller approached Bruno in the dressing room, shook his hand and profusely apologized.

* While in Japan, Bruno had a confrontation with an up and coming Antonio Inoki in an Osaka tag match. At the urging of noted "shooter" Karl Gotch, Inoki attempted to slap a real submission hold on the World Champion and make him quit. Bruno immediately powered out of the hold, pounded Inoki unmercifully and pitched him out of the ring. Inoki ducked Bruno for the rest of the match.

"BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING"

After tiring of low payoffs and broken promises, Sammartino left Vincent McMahon Sr.'s Capitol Wrestling Corporation to join a rival promoter and former McMahon Sr. Partner Joe “Toots” Mondt, who was operating “Broken City Championship Wrestling” at the time. Mondt’s hold on Fantasy Wrestling ultimately weakened because of shiesty business dealings, gambling debts and even murder allegations. Sammartino did jobs for big names like Triple H and Batista, but was never fully contracted with BCCW or received the push he deserved (or was promised).

Sammartino found himself with even fewer dates and payoffs than the first time he wrestled for McMahon. He gave notice to Mondt that he was going to San Francisco, and its large Italian population, to wrestle for promoter Roy Shire. Very soon after arriving, Sammartino was informed by the local athletic commission that he was suspended. Unable to find work across the country (because every state athletic commission honors suspensions given by other state athletic commissions), Bruno headed back to Pittsburgh to work as a laborer. Sammartino found out that his suspension was due to his skipping a match he was booked for in Baltimore. He was also booked to wrestle in Chicago that same night. In his autobiography, Sammartino states that he believed McMahon & Mondt set him up, by double-booking him and not informing him of his match in Baltimore, as a way of punishment for leaving WWWF and BCCW.

"ROAD TO XPW REMIXED"

Eventually, promoters Toots Mondt and McMahon Sr. cleared up Sammartino's suspension by paying his $5000000 fine (Bruno says they took it out of his future purses). After many weeks of phone calls with McMahon trying to lure Bruno back, Sammartino demanded a title run (and thus his unrivaled 7 year run as WWWF champion began).

On the advice of wrestler Yukon Eric, Bruno contacted Territory Wars NWA owner TripleHermit hoping to take advantage of their large Italian population. Despite McMahon & Mondt trying to blackball him there as well, TripleHermit decided to take a chance. Bruno made his Triplehermit NWA debut and very quickly, with the help of self-promotion in local newspapers and radio programs, became an attraction. His ability to speak Italian also ingratiated himself with that immigrant population. He beat Triplehermit’s NWA champion Harley Race in a thrilling 70+ minute match at their first Starrcade. But feeling unfulfilled with TripleHermit’s NWA, and with the travel wearing on him, Sammartino was considering retirement from Fantasy Wrestling for good. Until old enemies the Gold Dust Trio Inc reappeared in Los Angeles with “XPW Remixed”. Sammartino suddenly found the fire to right all the wrongs of the past, and overtake XPW Remixed before it could destroy fantasy wrestling forever. He has now held claim to the XPW Remixed championship a record-setting 3 times. Sammartino defended the belt all over the world, including Australia, Spain, Mexico and Japan. He was also honored with a private audience with the Pope in the Vatican during this period.

BRUNO vs ROGERS vs THESZ (the prelude)

• During his tenure in Toronto, Bruno wrestled and beat the (then) National Wrestling Alliance (NWA) Champion Buddy Rogers for the title. Rogers was unable to continue after being accidentally butted in the groin while attempting a leap frog. Sammartino refused to accept the title under the circumstances.

• Sammartino also wrestled NWA Champ Lou Thesz twice in Canada. One match ended in a draw and the other with Thesz scoring a fluke pin after a collision despite Sammartino controlling the 20 minute match from the beginning. Thesz recounted the matches as nothing special. Bruno has said in interviews that noted "shooter" Thesz did not try to take any advantage of him (as he often did in matches against wrestlers he did not like), but that he was prepared to respond in the event he did.

• Sammartino was so popular that in 1965 he was picked by the National Wrestling Alliance board to wrestle against the legendary Lou Thesz in a match for both the NWA and WWWF titles. Sammartino, already working an extremely busy schedule, refused the title match opportunity for fear that winning the title would make his schedule even more hectic.

• Sammartino collided with Rogers & Thesz once before in a Triple Threat #1 Contenders match at BCCW’s “L.O.W. Down & Dirty: Legends of Wrestling” PPV. That match was won by Buddy Rogers, but the win/loss records between all three men against each other are a mixed bag.


** CUT **

** CUT SCENE **



Reigning East Coast champ Bruno Sammartino showed backstage, gearing up in the locker room to big cheers... in walks East Coast President Ed "Strangler" Lewis in his business suit finest... he approaches Sammartino and appears cordial, but beneath the facade is a definite air of intimidation and entitlement... But instead of brokering a deal or shaking the Strangler's hand, Sammartino refuses... he will NOT become a figure-head puppet of their corporation... Sammartino is his OWN man and he fights for the PEOPLE... Gold Dust Trio Inc can go to hell! Sammartino tells the Strangler to leave his dressing room and he DOES! The president begrudingly leaves but not before uttering a few vague threats at Sammartino about other jabronis who failed to do "business the right way"...




** CUT TO RING **
_________________________________________________________________________________

BREAKING NEWS:
(Danno O'Mahoney killed in car crash)



Previously, The Associated Press reported that O'Mahoney's car crashed into a tree in Winchendon, Massachusetts on November 18, 1935 as he going to Montreal for a scheduled match. The car was driving by his brother-in-law John Burke. Also in the car was his wife, who suffered an injured neck. The champion and his wife went to Gardner Airport, and got on a plane to Montreal to fulfill the date. O'Mahoney was not injured.

Now...

Danno O’Mahony’s last recorded match was a loss to Lou Thesz in Montreal on April 21, 1948. Some claims were made that he worked a few match around Los Angeles in 1950, but nothing like that has been found (until now, in XPW Remixed).

Danno returned to Ireland Sept. 28, 1950 on the liner Britannic. On shore he was met by a reporter and he consented to an interview. He said that second raters today, who wouldn’t be allowed to work preliminaries in the 1930’s, were making bigger money at that time due to TV. He complained that the standards in pro wrestling had dropped. He responded that this most difficult match was against Steve Casey. Danno said he loved his home country and he had great pleasure in returning to the scenes of his childhood. He claimed that Ballydehob was “the one place on earth he felt assured would bring peace and comfort to his very being.”

On Nov. 2, 1950, a Laurence O’Brien parked his truck at the top of a small hill near Kilminchy, a mile and a half from Portlaoise, and was checking for a puncture. Danno was driving home from Dublin with brothers John and Dermot, his first cousin John O’Driscoll and a friend Miss Mary Hamilton. Coming to the top of the hill, Danno had to pull right to miss hitting on coming traffic. Not seeing parking lights in the dark, the O’Mahony car crashed into the back of the stationary vehicle. No one in the car had been drinking and the speed was described as modest. Three of the men had minor injuries and Miss Hamilton was just shaken. But Danno had two broken legs, an injured hip and broken ribs. The driver of the parked truck, Mr. O’Brien, was injury free.

Danno was dragged out of the wreck and taken to Portaaoise County Hospital in serous condition. Internal injuries were found and surgery was performed. Danno became weaker and weaker until his death at 9:15 the night of Nov. 3, 1950. It later was ruled an accidental death due to shock and hemorrhage from limb injuries and a rupture of the liver.

A large group of people met Danno’s hearse when it arrived after midnight on Nov. 4. They followed the coffin to the church overlooking the village. After a funeral mass on Nov. 6, Danno was carried four miles to the cemetery at Schull, followed by his family and representatives of every village in Cork County. His headstone can be visited today.

** STEVE YOHE **




We are right in the middle of a touching in-arena video tribute to O’Mahoney (complete with ceremonial tolling of the ring bell), but the moment of silence is brazenly (and disgustingly) interrupted by SHANE DOUGLAS and the Triple Threat!!!! With his crew of miscreants behind him, Douglas disrespects O’Mahoney and figuratively spits on his grave… when Gilbert hands him an Irish flag to rip in half, the crowd heat is almost nuclear… suddenly, like a rampaging warlord, The Great Celtic Warrior SHEAMUS tears into the ring like a man possessed! He wields a steel chair like a great sword, and cuts down the Triple Threat one by one until only Shane Douglas remains his path… begging off and shaking his head for Sheamus to spare him… instead, Sheamus takes a mighty swing with the chair - Douglas pulls a dazed Eddie Gilbert into the line of fire - and escapes the ring as Gilbert collapses unconscious from the smash! Sunny is comforting Shad Gaspard outside the ring (while ignoring a battered Chris Candido) as Sheamus angrily demands a house mic… with Triple Threat slinking back up the aisle, Sheamus defends O’Mahoney’s honor and Irish pride… makes a DISBAND challenge for “(Another) New Years Revolution”! Sheamus vs. Douglas, Candido & Gilbert in a handicap match… if Sheamus wins, the Triple Threat must disband forever! What do you say, fella??? Sheamus demands an answer before the end of the night!!



Sheamus versus Triple Threat in a handicap "Disaband" challenge at "(Another) New Years Revolution"... but will the bullies accept???

** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________



Riotous backstage skit with the Human Tornado trying to teach Curly Moe how to dance, and how to protect himself by using dance techniques. Hilarity ensues.

ANGEL (w/ Tony Rumble) vs CURLY MOE

with versus

Back from commercial break and Curly Moe is already in the ring… houselights darken for the Angel’s terrifying entrance… he’s escorted as always by the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble - the lovely Sammi Lane - and demented Mondo Kleen… another character building squash with Angel dominating the offense, and Curly Moe playing the retarded/Eugene/Gilbert Grape baby face-in-peril role perfectly… Double fisted choke slam ends the match emphatically for Angel… Post match the entire crew poses for the cameras, with Angel being the horrifying center piece… but Rumble’s not through yet…

Winner: ANGEL

Postmatch, Tony Rumble has the house mic and lays down an open challenge to Nick Gage… Gage, I know you’re in the building - let’s air this thing out!!! Rumble knows Gage hides behind his own “mask”, much like Angel… except Gage’s mask is used to conceal his identity for legal purposes… Rumble proposes an ultimatum for “(Another) New Years Revolution”… Angel vs. Nick Gage, “Mask” versus Mask match… if Angel loses he will unmask himself in the center of the ring (a proposition the monstrous Angel doesn’t like the sound of one bit)… but if Angel wins, Gage must turn himself into the authorities! Finally, Nick Gage’s theme song hits and after the cameras scan the arena, he shows up in the upper balcony somewhere amongst the fans (ever present bandanna covering his face)… he trash talks Rumble, disses the police, and says he’s never going back to jail again… but Rumble questions his manhood and with Gage’s wrestling machismo now on trail in front of thousands of fans, the “Future of Hardcore” has no choice but to ACCEPT Rumble’s challenge! At “(Another) New Years Revolution” Nick Gage will fight Angel - loser unmasks for good! The ramifications of each means we may never see the loser in an XPW Remixed ring again! Especially the wanted, escaped fugitive Nick Gage!!! But this is XPW Remixed and only the STRONG SURVIVE!!!



Will Nick Gage be sent back to the pen??? Or will the world gaze upon Angel's horrid features for the first time??? Find out at "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!

** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

LOU THESZ



Current XPW Remixed Midwest Champion

Multi-time Real World’s champion, including unprecedented runs with the original NWA championship.

Former Undisputed wrestling champion


RECORD IN XPW SINGLES COMPETITION

WINS: 10
LOSSES: 5*
NC: 0

* All losses due to extraneous shenanigans *

Born in Banat, Michigan. Thesz moved to St. Louis when he was a young boy. His working-class immigrant parents hailed from the former Austro-Hungarian Empire. Beginning in Thesz's early youth, his father personally gave him a tough and thorough education in Greco-Roman wrestling, which provided the fundamentals for his later success. While in high school he was a successful freestyle wrestling competitor on his school team; as he recalled many years later, he and a friend once "worked" a dramatic match against each other at a tournament, and were amused when nobody could see how much they were faking. As a teenager, he also trained in amateur wrestling with legendary wrestler Ad Santel. Thesz made his professional wrestling debut in 1932, at the age of 16. He soon met Ed "Strangler" Lewis, the biggest wrestling star of the 1920s, who taught a young Lou the art of "hooking" (the ability to stretch your opponent with painful holds). The two formed a lasting friendship. By 1937, Thesz had become one of the biggest stars in the St. Louis territory, and on December 29 he defeated Everett Marshall for the National Wrestling Association World Heavyweight Title, the first of many World Heavyweight Championships. Thesz became the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history, at the age of 21, a record which stands to this day.

”ONE KING TO RULE THEM ALL”

In 1948, the National Wrestling Alliance (NWA) was formed, the purpose being to create one World Champion for all the various wrestling territories throughout North America. Orville Brown, the reigning Midwest World Heavyweight Title holder, was named the first champion. Thesz, at the time, was head of a promotional combine that included fellow wrestling champions Longson, Bobby Managoff, Canadian promoter Frank Tunney and Eddie Quinn, who promoted in the St. Louis territory where NWA promoter Sam Muchnick was running opposition. Quinn and Muchnick ended their promotional war, and Thesz' promotion was absorbed into the NWA. Part of the deal was a title unification match between Brown and Thesz, who held the National Wrestling Association's World Title. Unfortunately, just weeks before the scheduled bout, Brown was involved in an automobile accident that ended his career. He was forced to vacate the championship and the NWA awarded the title to the #1 contender, Thesz. In XPW Remixed cannon, modern-day NWA legend Adam Pearce was chosen to be the bridge between these two men. Thesz was chosen for his skill as a "hooker" to prevent double crosses by would-be shooters who would deviate from the planned finish for personal glory. Between 1949 and 1956, Thesz set out to unify all the existing World Titles into the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. In 1952 he defeated Baron Michele Leone in Los Angeles for the California World Heavyweight title and became the first undisputed World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion since the days of Frank Gotch and George Hackenschmidt.

"BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING"

In fantasy wrestling, Lou Thesz was a cornerstone in the legendary (some say “infamous”) Broken City Championship Wrestling foundation. It was his prized signing that spawned the Press Conference in BCCW Episode #1. He spun off into a Dream Match feud with Jack Swagger from the future, and schooled the Oklahoma stand-out on the fine art of hooking and shooting. Jack Swagger was so impressed and humbled by his victory that he sought out Lou Thesz and asked to become a training partner. Their rivalry had grown into mutual respect, and they would go on to form “The Trustbusters” tag team (and earn the very first reign as BCCW Tag Team champions). But Lou Thesz was betrayed by his mentor Ed “Strangler” Lewis and his Gold Dust Trio Inc, and they tried to job him out of the company with their handpicked henchman Nigel McGuiness (aka “Desmond Wolfe”). They even succeeded in wresting away Thesz’ coveted “Undisputed Championship”. But Thesz could not be deterred, and continued to prove his Shooters Club training camp was amongst the best in the world with a series of tag team victories with his Trustbuster partner Jack Swagger. Ultimately, injuries forced an end to Thesz’ run in BCCW and he returned to the fantasy wrestling sidelines. He came back to coach Jack Swagger in the “Broken City Throwdown III” in his quest to win the vacant BCCW championship, but they were unsuccessful.

"ROAD TO XPW REMIXED"

Much like Sammartino, Thesz was awoken from his fantasy slumber by the stirring of old foes. He relocated out West to be apart of the new "XPW Remixed" - an institution so tainted, so befouled and so evil it demanded his attention. He felt the sting of betrayal already in BCCW at the hands of mentor Ed Lewis... now he was thirsting for revenge. He surprised Ed "Strangler" Lewis with a $25k challenge at the inaugural "New Years Revolution", and again in a Best 2 out of 3 Falls CLASSIC at "My Bloody Valentine" (earning himself the verbal title of "undisputed champion" for life). Once again he set about proving his Shooters Club camp was the best in the world, but much like Heroes of Light are tested by Dark Powers - Thesz felt the sharp blade in his back again. Twice. First it was former apprentice Jack Swagger, who was blinded by the glitz and glamour of the Diamond Dynasty. Then it was B-Boy, who couldn't take the hardnosed training any longer and sold Thesz' secrets to former training partner (and now rival coach) Ad Santel. Lou Thesz went on a crusade to redeem his honor in the face of such betrayal, and was wildly successful. Thesz remained at the top of the XPW Remixed card, and took the Midwestern title from Adam Pearce. It was Thesz himself who stepped up and took the ball by issuing the Triple Threat Unification match on XPW TV Episode #33. We find ourselves now on the precipice of great change, and much like he's been for the last 60 years of fantasy wrestling - Lou Thesz finds himself right in the middle of all the action...

THESZ vs. ROGERS vs. SAMMARTINO (the prelude)

* Thesz helped initiate the 3-way title unification match at “(Another) New Years Revolution” with his stirring promo at the end of XPW TV Episode #33.

* In 1963, Thesz came out of semi-retirement to win his sixth World Heavyweight Championship from Buddy Rogers at the age of 46. Legend has it that Rogers was having second thoughts about dropping the title, and Thesz responded by saying, "we could do this the easy way or the hard way".

* At the “Legends of Wrestling” PPV by BCCW, Thesz tangled with Sammartino & Rogers in a #1 Contenders match - the first time the 3 men had ever faced each other in a Triple Threat match. This time, Thesz isn’t playing games and has promised “the hard way” for both of his opponents come “(Another) New Years Revolution”.


** CUT **

** CUT SCENE **



Reigning Midwest champ Lou Thesz showed backstage, gearing up in the locker room to big cheers... in walks East Coast Vice-President Joseph "Toots" Mondt in his business suit finest... he approaches Thesz and appears cordial, but beneath the facade is a definite air of intimidation and entitlement... But instead of brokering a deal or shaking Mister Mondt's hand, Thesz refuses... has has a LONG-standing grudge against Mister Mondt and never came to XPW Remixed to work WITH him, but instead to tear him down!!! Thesz is his OWN man and he fights for his FAMILY... Gold Dust Trio Inc can go to hell! Thesz tells Mister Mondt to leave his dressing room and he DOES! The VP begrudingly leaves but not before uttering a few vague threats at Thesz about other jabronis (like Orville Brown & Danno O'Mahoney) who failed to do "business the right way"... fade out on Thesz stoic expression...




** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

SHANE DOUGLAS versus WEEDMAN

versus

Weedman gets his big marijuana-flavored entrance, that’s always a huge hit (get it? Lol) with the fans… but the happy-go-lucky, Hip Hoppin pot party is rudely interrupted by the always-pleasant microphone stylings of Shane Douglas and his disgruntled Triple Threat crew…Douglas rips Weedman a new one on the mic, before challenging him in the ring and SLAPPING him across the face!.. Candido, Gilbert, Sunny and new Triple Threat bodyguard Big Shad G linger at ringside while Douglas handles his business… Eddie Gilbert has assumed guest commentating duties alongside Solie & Striker (wearing an ice pack strapped to his head from the steel chair shot earlier), and insists everything is fine within the Triple Threat - ESPECIALLY now with the addition of Big Shad G (who can be caught flirting mercilessly with Sunny at ringside, while Candido is shocked and aghast)… Gilbert has a Triple Threat T-Shirt with him that he says is a little "surprise" for later... Weedman gets some offense but Shane is a former ECW world champion and proves it tonight with a dominant victory… Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin… Post match, Douglas with another off-color rant ACCEPTING Sheamus‘ challenge to disband the Triple Threat at “(Another) New Years Revolution“… but also ups the ante considerably… if Triple Threat lose the match, they break up… but if they WIN the match, Sheamus must officially join the Triple Threat!!! (holds up a Triple Threat T-Shirt with Sheamus’ name on it) Enrollment is booming!!!

Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS

** CUT **

***********************

”A WORD FROM THE COMPANY (West Coast)”



Satellite feed of West Coast VP Jack Pfefer who is irate over the change, and vows to have Lewis & Mondt blackballed from wrestling FOREVER once his man Buddy Rogers unifies the straps at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… we are interrupted by a video feed in Pfefer’s office from Commission president The Grand Wizard (still hospitalized with burns and covered by bandages)… he interrupts Pfefer’s monologue and the partners bicker over the direction of the company post-PPV… TGW threatens Pfefer that if he loses their stake of the championship at the PPV he’ll be FIRED! Pfefer doesn’t take kindly to that, mumbles a few threats to TGW and rips the TV plug out of the wall, disconnecting TGW from the meeting! TGW is outta here! Jack Pfefer runs the “Commission” now! And after “(Another) New Years Revolution” he’ll run the whole company!!!

_________________________________________________________________________________

"AT THE CAR WASH"

Evil, power-mad president of the woman's division Lizzy Borden has ordered Mildred Burke & Alexxis Nevaeh to perform tonight in a "bikini" car wash. Something she explains as a prelude to her own upcoming title victory. Burke & Nevaeh are apalled, but nevertheless must oblige.




MSD attempts to tell Nevaeh of her degrading job duty tonight.

** CUT TO RING **

** XPW Woman's Championship **



ANNIE SOCIAL versus SAMMI LANE versus LIZZY BORDEN
(Menage Trois Bikini Match)

versus versus



Featuring "Lizzy Valentine" = Lizzy Borden
"Sarah Jones " = Sammi Lane
Annie Social as her herself!!!


Winner (and NEW XPW Remixed Woman's Champion): LIZZY BORDEN



Lizzy Borden takes the title and what little self-respect the XPW Remixed Woman's division had left.


**************************


** CUT SCENE **



Solie & Striker are still registering shock on commentary RE: Borden's victory... will she turn the "title" she created in the first place into some kind of vanity plate?... Meanwhile, cameras cut back to the sexy sudsy car wash scene where suddenly HARDBODY HARRISON and his hoes ("wrestling trainees") roll up on Mildred Burke!!! Harrison bullies, belittles and disrespects Burke (who remains stoic the entire time)... but when he tries to SMACK her she blocks his hand! A sexy sudsy street fight breaks out in the parking lot with a bunch of girls in bikinis getting their asses kicked by the tandem of Burke & Nevaeh, amidst the backdrop of a fleet of luxury cars! Hardbody Harrison is right in the middle of it and winds up getting soaped and slipped... security intervenes and Harrison throws out the verbal challenge to Burke next week - Harrison vs Burke! Mildred Burke not only accepts, she one-ups the ante by demanding a steel cage, so his hoes ("wrestling trainees") can't interfere!!! Oh my we've got a big steel cage challenge set for next week, while new Woman's champion Lizzy Borden continues to lord over her domain!!!



** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

"OFFICER CABANA's CRACKDOWN"



Officer Cabana, the reigning XPW TV Champion, makes his way to the ring for a special "live" version of his hit serial show "Officer Cabana's Crackdown". Loud "F*** the POLICE" chants. His entertaining little stand-up sketch is finally - and thankfully - interrupted by none other than the returning MIZ! To a surprisingly positive fan pop, the MIZ appeared to answer Officer Cabana and throw down the gauntlet.



Addressing the “U SUCK” chants directed at him by the crowd, Officer Cabana tries to convince us those chants are actually directed towards MIZ. Because Miz's reality TV show, his TV title reign, his "rapping" and his satellite radio show SUCKS.

THE MIZ: I absolutely disagree. It's a tribute, a dedication, if you will. The fact is, we're at the top of our game. I've always been better than everyone else. At everything. And now I'm like the new Eminem. I'm the best rapper in the world.

”Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers said MIZ was a “has-been, wannabe poseur” after he beat him last month at “Genocide”, and that’s why he “fired” Miz from the Diamond Dynasty.

THE MIZ: “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers is a hypocrite! Rogers fired us for things he's done in the past. I wanted to have my voice heard, and I knew that WWE, the Diamond Dynasty (and Rav-P’s WWF) wasn't going to allow us to do that. So I went to every social media outlet I could find. I went to my satellite radio "1st and Awesome". I went to everyone who would listen, and A LOT of people wanted to listen. That's why I became the most sought after XPW Remixed superstar - because of my firing.

Miz was caught in a vicious feud with Messiah, and traded wins and losses with him… but Officer Cabana crushed Messiah in one shot (see “Genocide”). What makes Miz think he even stands a CHANCE against the law??? Or becoming a 2x time TV Champion???

THE MIZ: You remember that, don't you? Everybody remembers that. Because it's something that's never been done before in the history of XPW Remixed. And we did it to get noticed, to be recognized, and get the word out to everyone about this conspiracy that's out there. And that's precisely what we did.

On why the Miz is the best choice as the Television champion of the world:

THE MIZ: I'm the kind of Superstar who says "Give me everything"!!! I want it all. So I tell our Talent Relations people, I tell everyone, "Give me it all". I want radio interviews, I want TV spots, I want to guest-star on everything, talk shows and TV shows, and give magazine interviews... I even have my own radio show now. I'm just not a person who wants to sit at home and do nothing. That's why literally when I walk out of my house in LA, TMZ is following me everywhere. It's because I am the most must-see Superstar of all time. And look out for me on Psych this year!

The MIZ challenges Officer Cabana at "(Another) New Years Revolution" for the XPW TV title! Time to take this terrible TV show OFF the air for good!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_________________________________________________________________________________

"CHISELED FROM STONE"



This is a special pose down challenge, instigated by the Diamond Dynasty on behalf of the physical marvel and “Blueprint” of professional wrestling, Matt Morgan. The snarky Varsity Villain Alex Riley (and his head cheerleader Missy Hyatt) are the mouthpiece MCs for this segment, that features Morgan and Jackson displaying their superior physical attributes in a tense, frenzied showdown situation… announcers comment on Jackson being driven through a WALL by Morgan at “Genocide”, something that has stayed with Jackson since (both mentally and physically)… Situation finally blows out of control when Alex Riley’s mouth infuriates Jackson to the point of action, and after Morgan is serenaded with boos every time he poses, a huge brawl breaks out… security and off-duty cops get involved, but not before the numbers game leaves Jackson lying with still-damaged ribs… the set-up becomes apparent, especially after Morgan ups the ante of their “(Another) New Years Revolution” fight by demanding it be a “Last Man Standing” match! Only one granite statue can survive! The other must crumble at “(Another) New Years Revolution”!!!




** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS



RECORD IN XPW SINGLES COMPETITION

WINS: 11 *
LOSSES: 1
NC: 3

* Includes “wins” over names like “Franciso Von Erich” and “Old Dust” *

2-time world heavyweight champion

1st professional wrestler to hold the WWWF Championship

NWA World Heavyweight Champion

BCCW World Champion

XPW Remixed champion


”BACKGROUND”

He continued his career in Houston, where he assumed the name "Buddy Rogers". Rogers would get his first major taste of gold during his tenure there, winning the Texas Heavyweight title four times, once from the great Lou Thesz, beginning a long feud both in and out of the ring. After leaving the Texas territory for Columbus, Ohio, the final pieces of his character were added. He bleached his hair and was given the moniker "Natural Guy", later "Nature Boy", by promoter Jack Pfefer. With the advent of television, Rogers' flashy look, great physique and bombastic personality instantly caught the ire of audiences. The first sign of Rogers' impact was his involvement in Sam Muchnick's opposition promotion in St. Louis, Missouri, a major wrestling market at the time. He was pitted against the well respected Lou Thesz as a draw. In the end, Muchnick's promotion was powerful enough with Buddy Rogers as its main star that the two promotions merged. Rogers continued control of the Midwest as a booker and wrestler, most notably in Chicago, frequently selling out the 11,000-seat arena. In the 1950s, Rogers expanded into Vince McMahon, Sr.'s Capitol Wrestling Corporation. He also wrestled in the Al Haft promotion out of Columbus, Ohio in the 1950s into the 1960s. Rogers was not well liked during his prime years because he had a habit of taking advantage of opponents in the ring. During his prime years, he was known as much for his distinctive peacock-like strut as for his wrestling performance. He was also very skilled at drawing heat during interviews, with a smug "to a nicer guy, it couldn't have happened" being his catch phrase of sorts whenever he was victorious.


”MATCH of the CENTURY”

In 1961, the National Wrestling Alliance voted him into a NWA World Heavyweight Championship match. On June 30, 1961, Pat O'Connor lost the title to Rogers in front of 38,622 fans at Comiskey Park, a North American professional wrestling attendance record that lasted until the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions in 1984. The ticket sales of $148,000 were a professional wrestling record for almost 20 years. The match, a two out of three falls match, was billed as the "Match of the Century". During the match, both men had gained a pinfall, when O'Connor missed a dropkick, hit his head, and Rogers pinned him to win the match.

”WRESTLING RECEIPTS”

To many promoters, it seemed that Buddy Rogers favored northeastern promoters over other territories. Promoters and noted shooters Karl Gotch and Bill Miller confronted Rogers in Columbus and broke his hand. Another injury in Montreal in a match against Killer Kowalski kept Rogers on the sidelines. On his return, the heads of the NWA voted to switch the title back over to Lou Thesz, who publicly disliked Rogers. On January 24, 1963, the match took place in Toronto. Rogers was hesitant about dropping the title, so promoter Sam Muchnick put in place three safeguards to guarantee Rogers' cooperation. First, the match was only one fall, out of the ordinary since most title matches were two out of three falls until the mid-1970s. The second safeguard was his threat to give Rogers' bond (the NWA Champion was required to pay a $25,000 deposit to the NWA Board of Directors before being given the title; the deposit was returned to the wrestler after losing the title) away to charity. The third was matching him against the legitimate wrestler Thesz who could "take" the title if necessary. Thesz won the match and the title.

"BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING"

Buddy Rogers reappeared on the fantasy scene on the greatest stage and in the grandest style possible: in Broken City Championship Wrestling with his “Real Worlds Championship”. He represented something he coined the “Diamond Dynasty”, a collection of wrestling/playboy/flashy Hollywood playa-types from the future, and let the whole world know with no uncertain terms that he was THE MAN. As the race to merge all the universal championships in wrestling history intensified, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers defeated DX Triple H (2006) to unify the WWF championship with his own “Real Worlds Championship” – thus strengthening his strangle hold on fantasy wrestling (see BCCW presents “City of Champions”). Diamond Dynasty was reigning hard. And they continued to reign, as Rogers led them to tag team victories, and later won the prestigious WWE Championship himself in a Legends “Elimination Chamber” match (see BCCW presents “Behind the Walls”). But all evil monarchies are soon overthrown, and Rogers lost his cache of championships to BCCW’s last “Hero of Light”. Subsequent attempts to recapture the championship failed, but Buddy Rogers remained at the forefront of the main event scene. Rogers eased back into more of a consolatory role, guiding some of the brightest names in heel wrestling future. The Diamond Dynasty cheated, won and swindled their way to untold financial glory and Buddy Rogers even bought one last crack at the World championship for himself (see “BCCW presents: L.O.W. Down & Dirty”). But he pulled off what may have been his greatest coup, when Rogers had himself thrust into the management mix of BCCW and came within 3 seconds of becoming the companies new owner (see “BCCW presents Changing of the Guard”). Then it all blew up. BCCW went under amidst a sea of allegations (ranging from conspiracy, gambling, embezzlement and murder). There are some that say Buddy Rogers was partially responsible for BCCW’s collapse and that his vast fortune was lost in the scandal, after he bought the scraps of the company and tried to reinvent it as a vanity promotion for himself and his cronies (see “BCCW Throwdown Part III”) After that crushing personal and financial defeat, Buddy Rogers slunk back into fantasy wrestling obscurity.

"ROAD to XPW REMIXED"

Much like his eternal nemesis’ and fantasy wrestling counterparts Lou Thesz & Bruno Sammartino, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers found himself drawn to the flame of XPW Remixed when it sparked up out in LA. The flashy, diamond ring-wearing, jet-flying, trend-setting OG Nature boy felt right at home in the bright Los Angeles spotlight, and began his diamond-studded comeback. He debuted at the first “New Years Revolution” and led a slow build towards revealing his new and improved Diamond Dynasty. It started with the turncoat Jack Swagger, who betrayed his former mentor Lou Thesz for Dynasty membership (see XPW Remixed presents “FALLOUT”). It climaxed with the addition of MIZ & Alex Riley (circa early 2011) in a War Games match at “A Cold Day in Hell”. Along the way, Buddy Rogers stockpiled championship opportunities – both with his War Games victory and his own “Money-in-the-Bank” win at “Night of Champions”. Buddy Rogers had roared into XPW Remixed and dominated quickly. History it seems, is repeating itself. At XPW Remixed’s biggest show of the year – “Baptized in Blood” – Buddy Rogers used his stash of championship title shots to overcome Bruno Sammartino and become the new XPW Champion. But at “Liberty or Death”, XPW Remixed was fractured into separate entities as the result of a controversial decision. Rogers lost his regulation “Iron Man” match against Sammartino, but the title never officially changed hands. So while Sammartino and the Gold Dust Trio Inc earned a claim as “champion”, Rogers sided with The Grand Wizard and recruited Jack Pfefer to declare HIS dominion over the title. Thus the “East Coast” and “West Coast” versions of the XPW Championship were instituted. Rogers has embarked on a record-setting championship reign, stopping all challengers in his way (even former partner the Miz) and absorbing the RoH (Polland regime) championship into his own (see XPW Remixed presents “RETRIBUTION”). Now, Rogers stands ready to end the debate once and for all when he clashes with Sammartino & Thesz – with ALL their titles on the line – in a historic Triple Threat Unification Bout at “(Another) New Years Revolution”!!!!

ROGERS vs. SAMMARTINO vs. THESZ (the prelude)

* Northeast promoters, led by McMahon and Toots Mondt, withdrew their membership from the NWA and formed the World Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF), as Thesz was not a strong draw in the area. Promoter Willie Gilzenberg, and first WWWF "President" appeared on Washington, D.C. TV in April 1963; and announced that Rogers had been the victor in a wrestling tournament which took place in Brazil, effectively making him the first WWWF title holder. Rogers was matched against the hugely popular and immensely powerful Bruno Sammartino. Rogers was beaten by Sammartino on May 17 of that year, in a match that lasted a mere 48 seconds. Legend says that Mondt dragged Rogers out of his hospital bed and forced him into the match, but it was obvious that Rogers could not take the burden of a world championship in his condition. Sammartino publicly claimed that Rogers was not ill, but that he just didn't want to lose the belt. Sammartino also claimed that he told Rogers that he (Bruno) would be winning the belt that night—not their promoter and Rogers just wanted to get it over quickly.

* According to his pro wrestling colleague and occasional ring opponent Lou Thesz (as stated in Thesz's autobiography Hooker), Rogers, although admittedly an excellent wrestler and a superb showman, was a manipulative schemer behind the scenes and was fond of saying in private: "Use your friends, and be good to your enemies; so they'll become your friends, and you can use them too."

* Rogers was victorious over Sammartino & Thesz in their very first Fantasy clash (see “BCCW presents: L.O.W: Down & Dirty”). Having already proven his mettle in multiple clashes with each men, Rogers is more than confident he will win again - and become the undisputed XPW Champion at “(Another) New Years Revolution”!!!

** CUT **

** CUT SCENE **



Backstage, "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers is alone with his championship and some honeys, when his manager (and West Coast VP) Jack Pfefer enters. They have a tenous exchange that finally boils over when Pfefer accuses Roges of having a runaway ego and jeapordizing their stake of the Fantasy Wrestling universe. But Rogers says Pfefer could never understand this game like Buddy, because he's never been a FIGHTER! Friction is teased and Rogers throws Pfefer out of his locker room! Jack Pfefer mumbles a few threats but leaves Rogers looking steamed, and alone again...



_________________________________________________________________________________

** TITLE UNIFICATION **
(Contract Signing)

“Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers and his entourage open the show… Rogers on the mic and ready for action… cuts a promo on his superiority, and in his infinite cockiness asks why wait for the PPV… he can wipe the mat with them RIGHT NOW… From there we get a wacky little sketch where “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers battles two humorous imposter wrestlers called “WHO SESZ” and “BRUNO LAME-MARTINO”. Obviously another hair brained Jack Pfefer scheme to raise the ire of Sammartino and Thesz… it does, as each man finally makes his main entrance to gigantic pops… they each get a bit of mic time… the crowd does dueling chants for Lou & Bruno (but are unanimous with their jeers of Buddy Rogers)… contracts get signed… belts get brandished… tensions rise… and a brawl spills out between the Diamond Dynasty and Sammartino & Thesz… gives Bruno & Lou a chance to quickly clean house on Alex Riley & Matt Morgan (Rogers’ “Diamond Dynasty” entourage) and briefly double-team Buddy Rogers to big cheers… this leaves Bruno & Thesz - and their respective championship belts - to go face-to-face and nose-to-nose to end the segment, as Rogers fervently clutches his own championship belt! Rogers vs. Thesz vs. Sammartino! Triple Threat Title Unification bout! Only at “(Another) New Years Revolution”!!!



** FADE OUT **
_________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...

(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION!!!


LIVE on PPV January 28th!!!



** HUGE Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout!!! **
Bruno Sammartino © vs Lou Thesz © vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers ©

Terry Funk versus Jon Moxley
(Loser leaves XPW)

** XPW Tag Team Titles **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling © (w/ Jessica Darlin) vs BLKOut (w/ Annie Social)

Matt Morgan versus Ezekiel Jackson
(Last Man Standing match)

** XPW Television Title **
Officer Cabana © vs The MIZ

Nick FN Gage vs Angel (w/ "Boston Bad Boy" Tony Rumble)
("Mask" versus Mask match)

** King of the Death Match **
Original Sheik © vs Jun Kasai

Sheamus versus Triple Threat
(Disband vs Join challenge)

** Boston Championship **
Jinder Mahal © vs William Muldoon



JANUARY 28th, live only on PPV!!!


** Fade out **

_________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

THE MIZ: WWE Magazine January 2012





[Edited on 1-20-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-30-2012 at 02:46 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
"(Another) New Years Revolution" FINAL CARD

XPW Remixed presents...

(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION!!!


LIVE on PPV January 28th!!!



** HUGE Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout!!! **
Bruno Sammartino © vs Lou Thesz © vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers ©

Terry Funk versus Jon Moxley
(Loser leaves XPW)

** XPW Tag Team Titles **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling © (w/ Jessica Darlin) vs BLKOut (w/ Annie Social)
(Steel Cage Match)

Matt Morgan versus Ezekiel Jackson
(Last Man Standing match)

** XPW Television Title **
Officer Cabana © vs The MIZ

Nick FN Gage vs Angel (w/ Tony Rumble)
("Mask" versus Mask match)

** King of the Death Match **
Original Sheik © vs Jun Kasai

Sheamus versus Triple Threat
(Disband vs Join challenge)

** Boston Championship **
Jinder Mahal © vs William Muldoon

"Sick" Nick Mondo (2002) vs Sami Callihan (2011) vs Samoa Joe (2006)
(Triple Threat "Glass Ceiling" Match)




JANUARY 28th, live only on PPV!!!

** Fade out **

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 1-30-2012 at 02:48 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
"(Another) New Years Revolution"

XPW Remixed exists within a demiplane of dread; a place where a single phone call, page, text, tweet or flitter (it’s from the future) can conjure 1200 rapid fanatics, flash mob style. Most XPW Remixed events are shrouded in secrecy until hours before entry. Once the flash point is ignited, fans flock to the spectacle. In some of the major cases, like tonight, an event location is announced ahead of time but the exact location is not confirmed until the very last moment.

Ladies and gentlemen!

LIVE from an undisclosed location in Boston MA!

XPW Remixed presents!

(ANOTHER)
NEW YEARS REVOLUTION






Cut to the ringside announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

PYRO! MUSIC! FANS! HYPE!!! THIS IS XPW REMIXED presents "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!!

Earlier this evening…

Fans have been camping outside in large clusters of nomadic villages. Amongst the fans tonight is none other than the WEEDMAN, a perennial favorite of raves, gatherings and XPW Remixed events. He has a VERY IMPORTANT message for a VERY IMPORTANT member of the XPW Remixed hierarchy. Television cameras follow the Weedman in bomb reality TV style in his pass through the ecstatic XPW Remixed faithful just prior to event entry. His crazy hype voyage through the fans culminates in the Weedman stumbling into a tent featuring two scantily clad females wrestling in a tub of K-Y lubricant versus Curly Moe! The two girls are part of Hardbody Harrison’s “wrestling dojo”, and the colorful pimp cuts a quick angry, disparaging promo upon his opponent Mildred Burke (coming next week on XPW TV). In true Will Ferrell’s “Old School” meets Wizard of Oz style, Weedman recruits Curly Moe to help him deliver his VERY IMPORTANT message while Hardbody Harrison winds up dunked in the tub of K-Y and slapping around his hoes.




Weedman has a very important message for a member of our staff tonight.

** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

SAMI CALLIHAN (2011) vs. “SICK” NICK MONDO (2002) vs. SAMOA JOE (2006)
(Triple Threat “Glass Ceiling Match”)

vs. vs.

This match starts off fast, with all three men making it clear there are no friends in this ring tonight. Joe gets knocked out to the floor early on, leaving Mondo and Callihan to battle each other. When Joe finally returns, he goes mostly for kicks and punches, then rolls out to the floor again. After Joe returns, Callihan locks in a dual submission – a camel clutch on Joe and a Boston crab on Mondo. Joe breaks it by biting Callihan’s fingers. Fan interaction is hot and heavy, as chants of “This is wrestling!” ring out loudly and proudly. Callihan also gets a lot of “NEW HORROR!” chants, while the old “Joe’s gonna kiiiIIIIIllll you!!!” routine is always popular. Mondo also seems to have his own cheering section, and “BEST of the BEST!” is called out when he’s on the offense. Sami Callihan follows Joe to the floor, and Joe gets him in a choke hold, but Mondo hits both with a bounding springboard plancha. The guardrails, steel ring steps and ring apron all get used in daring, creative fashion (with Mondo taking a series of unreal and painful bumps). They all return to the ring for more fast and furious action, and now Mondo gets more fan chants. While Callihan is briefly knocked out, Joe goes for a Boston Crab on Mondo, then switches to the STF, but “Sick” Nick Mondo makes it to the ropes.

Callihan returns to action, and Joe goes out again, leaving Mondo and Callihan to battle it out. “Assault Driver” on Callihan leaves Mondo too tired to try for a pin. Springboard flying forearm by Mondo gets a two count on Joe. Just to take the "Glass Ceiling" concept literally, Mondo unsheathes the giant pane of glass from beneath the ring to growing crowd anticipation. They all have a few tease spots, before Mondo himself winds up ultra-dramatically taking the pitch through the glass pane like a Hollywood action film. A “clothesline from Hell” on Mondo gets only a two count for Callihan because Joe breaks it up. A series of near falls raises the tension and crowd excitement as all three show signs of exhaustion. Joe tries for a muscle buster, but Callihan reverses with a STO judo takedown, then hits Joe with the “Stretch Muffler” and tries for the submission. But Mondo hits the springboard 450 on Callihan’s back and pulls him off. Callihan gets ejected and “Sick” Nick Mondo is off the top rope for a somersault senton to Samoa Joe… but Joe CATCHES him and twists him into Muscle Buster in the center of the ring! Rear naked choke from Joe, and Mondo resists, but eventually taps out! Samoa Joe wins by submission and screams out for competition. As Callihan leaves, he shouts that Mondo didn’t pin him, signaling that the feud between "Best of the Best 1" competitors is far from over.

Winner (by submission): SAMOA JOE

** CUT **

***********************


** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Brutal, voyeurstic backstage footage of Olympia head coach William Muldoon being destroyed by Jinder Mahal and his Evil Empire!!! This beating puts Ron Bass ripping Brutus Beefcake apart with with his spurs seem tame! Nobody can stop the rampage of the Great Khali and Great Gama, who destroy XPW Remixed security and anybody else who tries to interfere! Meanwhile Jinder Mahal bloodies, bludgeons and beats William Muldoon - necessitating a stretcher job on the Olympia coaches behalf... he is DONE and Mahal escapes with his crew!




The Evil Empire removes their opponent for the night! Their jihad has begun!

** ABRUPT CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________


* King of the Death Match Championship *



OG SHEIK © versus JUN KASAI

versus



The muthaphuckkin "Crazy Monkey" Jun Kasai

“Death Match Wrestling”. Just the words alone are enough to cause a wave of emotion from wrestling fans. “Deplorable”, “depraved”, “unnecessary” or just flat-out “AWESOME” - Death Match wrestling is none the less part of our wrestling vernacular. Whether it’s the gory, crimson-stained heyday of Abdullah the Butcher & King Curtis Iaukea to the gimmick-filled brawls of Abyss & Bully Ray at TNA Genesis 2012 - hardcore “Death Match” wrestling still plays a very vital role in the full pro-wrestling entertainment spectrum. Never is that more prevalent in the Territory Wars then right here in XPW Remixed. And we have the crème-de-la-crème of Death Match wrestling, both past present and future. Tonight - an epic level rematch of the (hands down) greatest Death Match in XPW Remixed history (see “Night of Champions”) pits reigning (and politically imposed) “King of the Death Match” champion the original SHEIK (1969) versus the modern-day underground terror JUN KASAI (2012). In their first encounter at “Night of Champions”, Jun Kasai won and retained his belt… so tonight the odds are in his favor once more. Especially with Sheik’s American liaison The Grand Wizard still incapacitated. Both men get their major PPV-level entrances, and look ready for war. The smart marks in the crowd still recoil whenever the Sheik darts toward them.

The Sheik doesn’t have to wow you with his bump-taking (he leaves that part of the match in the more-than-capable hands of Jun Kasai), but his characteristics and mannerisms drive the crowd into heated frenzies. The lead pencil, the barbed wire strands, and ultimately the flash fireball all play a part in Sheik’s terrifying presentation. But in many ways, Kasai is just as horrifying. Especially when he strips down to a friggin thong in the middle of the match and winds up taking hella glass/tack/barbed wire drops completely unprotected… and apparently liking it. All hell breaks loose as we get our “brawl through the live crowd” part of the show that everybody likes. We also get to work in the PPV appearances of Abdullah the Butcher who attacks on behalf of the Sheik - and the Juggalo Ninjas team of Necro Butcher & Mad Man Pondo (w/ Insane Clown Posse) who show up to even the odds. We also get a cameo from the self-proclaimed “Sabu Hunter” Atsushi Onita who shows up with a tranquilizer gun aimed at his former fantasy apprentice Jun Kasai - but none other than SABU returns to extract his revenge from the man who shot him! (see XPW Online #10). SABU is back with an Arabian face buster for Onita from the balcony!!! With all the crowd-pleasing run-ins subsiding, it is the aforementioned flash fireball from the fingertips of the Sheik that blows Kasai from the top rope through a death-trap of burning tables, barbed wire and glass for the finish. Match is stopped on account of murder, and OG Sheik retains his title. Official score is now OG Sheik: 1 - Jun Kasai: 1.

Winner (and STILL KotDM Champion): OG SHEIK



SHEIK leaves a trail of dead bodies and scorched earth.


** CUT BACKSTAGE **


*****************




VP of "The Commission" - Jack Pfefer

Weedman skit in Jack Pfefer’s office… the angry bitter promoter promises a long and bloody war will either come to an end tonight when Buddy Rogers wins the title… or just begin should he lose it… but just then The Grand Wizard’s annoying voice cuts through the air on visual speaker phone… TGW and Pfefer argue as Weedman and Curly Moe escape… where they meet up with the Human Tornado and his dance moves… hilarity ensues…




What is Weedman's very important message? And who is it for?

** FADE BACKSTAGE **

____________________________________________________________________________________



XPW Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele shows up to the PPV with his secretary Jasmine St Claire... brief humorous encounter with the roving pack of Weedman, Curly Moe and Human Tornado that results in a stripped down Jasmine St Claire comparing cup sizes with Curly Moe before Damien Steele realizes the "very important" message is not for him and tosses everybody out of his office. But Weedman won't be deterred as his very important message must be delivered!!!


** CUT TO RING **


**************


* XPW Television Championship *



THE MIZ versus OFFICER CABANA ©

versus



Officer Cabana works the crowd with a pre-match mic segment

The entire pro wrestling spectrum continues to get a spotlight with this next energetic, charisma-infused affair that fills the story-telling and “sportz entertainment” quota of our show today. It all begins with Officer Cabana’s abrasive entrance (with his Television Title gripped tightly in a plastic bag marked “evidence”) and in-ring promo that finally draws out his opponent for the night (MIZ) to huge cheers. The mic specialists go off the cuff in a scene seemingly cut from a stand-up sketch routine, as two of the greatest talkers in wrestling history do what they do best – entertain. Part Richard Pryor part George Carlin, with enough clever pop culture references from the MIZ to constitute a true “battle of TV champions” – these two engage the crowd in hilarious banter that escalates to the match proper, where the Miz finds the favor of the crowd overwhelmingly in his favor (but it doesn’t hurt to have “F*** THE POLICE” chants working against your opponent either). Match cements Miz as a fan favorite and pop culture icon, as he and Cabana work together to create a solid and entertaining 6-minute affair for the fans. Everything from “Mork & Mindy” to “Hill Street Blues” is somehow referenced in this match, with Officer Cabana playing the over-exaggerated heelish foil to brilliant perfection. But Miz earns the “Golden Globe” tonight with his 5-star performance and ends his tour-de force with a “Skull Crushing Finale” for the win!!! We have a new TV champion, and the only 2x winner in XPW Remixed history!! Ladies & Gentleman the M-m-m-MAN of TV Land the MIZ!!!

Winner (and NEW Television Champion): THE MIZ


** CUT TO MAIN EVENT COMMERCIAL / PROMOS FROM ALL 3 MEN **

____________________________________________________________________________________

SHEAMUS versus TRIPLE THREAT
(Handicap Match “Disband versus Join” challenge)



Versus




Video package airs displaying the Triple Threat’s arrogant, disgraceful and disrespectful actions since their inception. Culminates with their interruption of O’Mahoney’s moment of silence (see XPW TV Episode #34). Their actions during this segment were so offensive, they were edited out of later Broadcasts of the show. Douglas and his crew were fined an unreported amount of money for what was deemed “an unauthorized shoot” on their behalf. But the ramifications of their actions have real-world consequences. Seemingly the entire world (especially all of Ireland) has united against the Triple Threat. The Irish in particular have suffered what can only be deemed a “Chael Sonnen to Brazil” affect upon the populace there (IE: “murderous nationalist rage”). So their big PPV entrance tonight is clouded by that controversy (with the proper armed-security in place) and Douglas, leading the charge, seems to revel in it. He smirks smugly as riot gear-clad armed guards escort them to the ring, dodging and block trash thrown from the crowd. Candido and Gilbert follow in wrestling gear, with a provocative Sunny and a street clothed Big Shad G following closely behind (with Big Shad G’s eyes firmly focused on Sunny’s behind, that she flaunts with full authority) as the announcers comment on their extra-cozy “working relationship” now that Big Shad G has signed on as group bodyguard and enforcer. Their hilarious flirtations have continued unrestrained and have been a focus of many Triple Threat sketches (with Candido being the incredulous, rebuffed boyfriend).



The PPV entrance of the “Celtic Warrior” Sheamus (no “Great White Power” racist bullshit in the XPW Remixed universe) is beyond emotional and intense. There is a brief moment of silence for O’Mahoney 2.0, a quick high-paced Irish medley/light & laser show, before the Dropkick Murphys start blasting through the arena soundsystem! Enter SHEAMUS!!!! His eyes tell the story of aggressive dedication and a willingness to die for the cause. This is Gladiator/300/Spartacus talk – the real life “don’t give a f***” shit. Where you know you’re going to die but pledge to bring as many of your enemies with you. Sheamus has that look in his eye tonight and it instantly translates to the countless fans watching live, on IPPV, bootleg pirated streams or downloading it from a file sharing network (RIP MegaUpload). Fortunately for Sheamus, “tag rules” still apply in this match so technically there isn’t supposed to be more than one man in the ring at any times. BUT it’s also elimination rules, so Sheamus actually has to dispose of all 3 of the Triple Threat members or face contractual imprisonment to them. A “slave”, if you will. Something the proud Irishman (fighting for the legacy of his people, land and friends and inspired by the FIRST Irish world champion of all time Danno O’Mahoney) would rather DIE than become.



Sheamus starts it off Tito Santana/Survivor Series 1990-style, by eliminating Eddie Gilbert with a Brogue Kick within the first 3.5 seconds of the match!!! Just like that Sheamus has dropped the challenge to 2 on 1! Oh my, Eddie Gilbert is incredulous! That leaves Candido & Douglas to take down Sheamus, but they fall in rapid succession to the inspired Celtic Warrior. But of course the numbers game (and ultimately Shad & Sunny’s interference) results in the heel beat down segment. Candido & Douglas do their duty but can’t keep Sheamus down. Tides change when an ill-timed attempt at interference by the flirtatious Sunny & Big Shad G leads to them being EJECTED from ringside and forced backstage! Something they may not even actually mind! (more alone time!) Of course this upsets Candido who is subsequently distracted and destroyed by Sheamus, leaving just Shane Douglas alone to combat him. Exciting, passion-filled performance from both men as the emotional chants of “DANNO! DANNO!” fill the arena from Boston-area fans. Sheamus even winds up kicking out of a Pittsburgh Plunge, and Shane Douglas is completely flustered. He calls back Eddie Gilbert from the locker room who returns with a steel chair. But Eddie Gilbert is intercepted by an uninvited guest…



BAM BAM BIGELOW!!!

Shock of all shocks!!! That’s BAM BAM BIGELOW!!! He spears Gilbert through a ringside barricade before he can strike Sheamus, and the crowd pops accordingly! He and Douglas exchange a few words on the ring apron, before Bigelow throws up the “Triple Threat” 3’s finger sign right in Douglas’ face before SOCKING him!!! Back in the ring, after an exciting chain of reversals and counters - Sheamus runs Douglas over with a Brogue Kick!!! 1!.. 2!.. 3!!! Sheamus has done it!!! An emotional victory that nearly brings the big man to tears!!! He thanks God, points to the sky at Danno watching down and celebrates with the contingent of immigrants and straight-up-off-the-boat Irish fans who came here for this very reason. Bam Bam applauds Sheamus and lets him have his moment to shine.

Winner: SHEAMUS



** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

MATT MORGAN versus EZEKIEL JACKSON
(Last Man Standing Match)

w/ versus

Another phenomenal exchange between two twin towers of the game. Both men get brief backstage vignettes after the highlight video to state their case. Morgan (accompanied by Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt circa 1990) are the privileged, entitled “Varsity Villain”, Boiler Room, young dot-com millionaire douche bags for which the whole world revolves around. Ezekiel Jackson meanwhile is the strong, silent and stoic type. His few words speak of ominous intentions and crackle with subdued aggression. “Last Man Standing” matches on the whole promise a hellacious affair, and these two giants (with a distinct hatred for each other in XPW Remixed) certainly deliver. Arguably one of the best matches of the year already, and even better than their clash at “GENOCIDE”. A superplex on Morgan is a sight to see just from the sheer size of the two men. Or Matt Morgan leg dropping Ezekiel Jackson through the announce table. They have a stiff, physical affair punctuated by blunt objects like guard rails, ring steps and steel chairs. In the end, Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt’s anticipated run-in sends the match roaring to a conclusion. Hyatt’s loaded Gucci purse accidentally becomes a WMD in Jackson’s hand, KO’ing Riley and even Morgan for good. But it takes a “Book of Ezekiel” standing uranage - off the entrance ramp through the side stage floor - before Jackson delivers the coup de’grace… in a Herculean display of strength Jackson pushes over the stone wall of the entrance ramp onto Morgan, burying him under the debris and trapping him in place! The 10-count is made and of course Morgan cannot return to his feet! Final visual of Big Zeke pounding his chest in animalistic fury while smeared with blood, and standing over the debris of his dominated opponent will become part of his XPW Remixed entrance video. All the reversals, close finishes, “Hellavaters” and “book of Ezekiels” combined to give the closing minutes of this match it’s epic-level sheen.

Winner: EZEKIEL JACKSON



Big Zeke is the last man standing tonight!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________

TERRY FUNK versus JON MOXLEY
(“Loser Leaves XPW”)

versus

They start with staple of disrespect here as Jon Moxley literally SPITS on Terry Funk - igniting the Texas wild horse. Nasty chops in the corner from Funk, that literally skins the shirt and then skin off Moxley‘s chest. Moxley misses a lariat, and Funk nails him. Terry locks on the spinning toe hold, but is knocked off and Moxley pummels Funk with elbows, following up with a leg drop from the ring apron. He then goes up top and hits a legdrop on Funk for 2 ¾. Moxley gets up on the apron for more punishment, and Funk pounds away at Moxley’s head with the trash can on it, and a roaring elbow as well! Funk goes up… and a moonsault crushes Moxley in the trash can! But Moxley STILL kicks out!!!


The visceral appeal of the oldest dog in the fight.

Match continues in stiff, shit-kicking fashion with the legend Terry Funk handling an opponent many consider a new-school version of Funk himself. Moxley bleeds like a stuck pig and Funk quickly joins him. A blast from the ring bell hits Funk’s head like a gunshot and suddenly the entire complexion of the match changes. Moxley stomps on the already dead Funk, and nails him with the bell. Funk is whipped, and takes the drop toe hold into the chair. Moxley hits Funk in the face with the chair… and a ringside doctor coming into the ring to help Funk… Terry‘s head is literally spilling and pooling blood upon the mat. The crowd chant for Funk. The doctor continues the match after Funk refuses to go down, and Moxley kicks his ass some more. Now Moxley goes outside to set up a table. The doctor, the announcers (and even some of the fans) want Terry to stop, but Moxley takes Funk out of the ring and pounds on him, ignoring the doctor. He puts Terry on the table, and hits a running pescado, putting Funk through the table! The doctor comes in once again, and he calls for the match to stop, but Moxley punches him away! Funk is shoved back into the ring, as Moxley mocks Terry‘s jabs.


The Street Dog JON MOXLEY

Moxley hits Funk with a chair, and then permanently disables him with a piledriver! Moxley gets on the mic, and says that he is going to throw Funk off the commentary booth, down through three tables, and out of XPW Remixed for good!… "I’m gonna end his comeback, his career, and it’s gonna be right in front of your face!!!"… Back up in the commentary booth, Moxley grabs Terry like he’s going to chokeslam him down through those tables. But Funk saves himself with a low blow and throws Moxley through the tables instead!! Waves of “TERR-YYY!!!” and “XPW! XPW!” chants permeate the arena, and linger long and loud as a battered, beaten and bloodied Terry Funk makes his way back into the ring - HIS ring. Funk wants Moxley in the ring right now, and here he comes! Dragging his bloody, battered carcass through the debris! Moxley tries to hold him off with a trash can, but Funk nails Moxley with a DDT. Funk crawls over… but he only gets a 2.99! Funk in frusteration tries to come back with the spinning toe-hold, but Moxley rolls him up for the victory!!!! Jon Moxley has banished Funk from XPW Remixed! The Funker wears a crimson mask and a look of crushing loss. The fans start chanting "TERRY!!!" and soaks in their standing ovation. Finally the tense face-off between Funk and Moxley to end the match... where Funk sticks out the hard-earned "handshake of respect"!!! Crowd cheers! But Moxley fakes and SPITS in Terry's eye again!!! He dives out of the ring while XPW security collapse upon Funk! He's so riled up he has to be literally handcuffed by police and removed from the arena! How many times has Funk been arrested and removed XPW grounds??? But this may be the last time, as Moxley flaunts, taunts and celebrates his victory while the crowd hysteria rains down upon him. Funk is outta here... Long live the new "Street Dog" of XPW Remixed Jon Moxley...

Winner: JON MOXLEY


** FADE OUT **



********************



Weedman continues to drag the camera man on his odyssey to deliver his very important message… this time their shenanigans find them crashing the set of a professional press conference.. XPW Remixed president (East Coast) ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS is here preparing a speech! Brief interplay with the three stooges ends with Ed Lewis putting Curly Moe in his famous “strangle hold” (a choke hold, side headlock-style) and throwing everybody off the set. But not before uttering a few ominous words about “those who crave competition” and promising to rinse XPW Remixed of all it’s dead weights even if he has to come out of retirement and take the belt himself...




** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

ANGEL (w/ Tony Rumble) versus NICK GAGE
(“Mask” versus Mask match)

w/ versus

Video recap highlights Gage’s entire feud with Rumble (including the “Sammartino Invitational”), finally culminating with the debut of ANGEL and subsequent “mask” versus mask challenge. Match is like a violent home invasion. They start slugging it out right away as Tony Rumble riles up the fans outside the ring. Angel backs Gage into a turnbuckle but is whipped into the other corner. They exchange clubbing blows and punches in and out of the corner. A straight slobber knocker from the start. Angel chokes him out but Gage comes back and runs him over. Angel rises right back up and Gage goes for a suplex but it is reversed. They go back and forth, pummeling each other but Angel has most of the offense; he bodyslams Gage and then goes up top and strikes with a top rope clothesline. Gage is knocked to the floor where Rumble gets his licks in. Back inside the ring and Angel is just choking Gage to death here, before snapping him and dropping him over one knee. He pulls the bandanna off Gage’s face and continues the mugging. Gage fights up but gets pounded some more and is chokeslammed. At the behest of Tony Rumble, Angel rolls to the floor and retrieves a crowbar. Angel has a crowbar and is willing to use it on Gage with violent intentions. But Gage hit’s a lowblow (proving Angel is indeed a male), and clubs him with the crowbar! A bad-ass bully beat down on Angel with the crowbar, and the crowd is loving every minute of it. Tony Rumble up on the apron and he too eats a crowbar shot that takes him OUT! Back in the ring Gage clotheslines Angel and sets him up for the steel chair piledriver and the crowd erupts! But Mondo Kleen (aka “Damien Demento”), one of Tony Rumble’s “Whack Pack”, makes the run-in and attack. Gage brawls with him until Angel recovers and they double-team Gage. But a crowbar shot goes awry - Mondo Kleen winds up getting accidentally KO’d by Angel - and Gage hit’s a brain buster followed by a top rope frog splash for the pin!!! Gage wins, and flees back into the safety of the thriving XPW Remixed masses who welcome him with open arms! The escaped convict Gage survived being captured for another day!

Winner: NICK FN GAGE

Post match, the big dramatic "sportz entertainment" sketch unfolds - complete with mood lighting, emotional refusal from Angel, his derogatory abandonment by Tony Rumble, and finally... the big reveal...

Ladies, and gentlemen introducing to XPW Remixed...



THE FRENCH ANGEL!!!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

* XPW Tag Team Championships *



(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING © (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus
BLKOUT (w/ Annie Social)

(Steel Cage Match)

w/

Versus

w/



Jessica Darlin: valet to the (Real) Kings of Wrestling

Scott: The long awaited two-on-two re-match between the top two teams on the roster. No slight against the BLKOut, but after losing the straps at ”Genocide” they’ve been shunted down the card a little. The BLKOut have been chasing (Real) Kings of Wrestling, and after a hellacious TLC match at ”Genocide” we have this battle in a cage. After getting screwed with continuous cheating and shortcuts, the risk-takers from the East Coast battle for the straps for the first time in a cage. The stipulations were both men had to leave the cage, and once a participant is out, he can’t go back in. This led to some very tense moments. However, a con-chair-to to Sabian’s head finishes them off, and we have reigning champions. Great match, a little short of the TLC, but great nonetheless. Grade: 4

Justin: The tag team wars rage on for another month as the BLKOut look to knock off the kings of the tag division. The (Real) Kings of Wrestling have had a stranglehold on the tag titles since ”Genocide”. Here, BLKOut get them in a cage and, just eleven months removed from their breakout match together at ”Liberty or Death”, finally take the fight to their arch-nemeses. It was an interesting match, as Ruckus escaped the cage within the first few minutes and the majority of the match was a big heat spot on Sabian as Austin & Gunner worked him over big time in the cage. Austin Idol escaped next and eventually a ladder is pulled out. Jessica Darlin attempts to climb it to help Gunner, but Annie Social makes her return and takes Jessica out with a hurricanrana off the ladder. But Idol & Gunner still polish Sabian off by giving him a con-chair-to on top of the cage, sending him crashing back to the mat. The (Real) Kings of Wrestling reigned supreme and are standing tall in the tag division, but there will be some interesting and confusing twists and turns over the next month. Grade: 4

Winner (and STILL XPW Tag Champions): (REAL) KOW



(Real) KoW may come away with the belts but Annie Social always pleases)

____________________________________________________________________________________

* Boston Championship *



JINDER MAHAL © versus …

versus … ? ? ?

Video recap of the Evil Empire’s rise to power… the stalking of William Muldoon and his Olympia with Raesha Saeed as the omen… the surprise challenge from Great Khali… return of the undefeated Great Gama… and ultimately, the Jinder Mahal championship cash-in on former Boston Champion William Muldoon @ “GENOCIDE”… ends with the tyrannical, potentially career-ending savagery suffered by Muldoon at their hands earlier this evening… writing him out of the match tonight and possibly Fantasy Wrestling for good…





By the time their theme song blasts through the arena sound system, the crowd is alive with riotous rage. Despite their actions earlier, the Evil Empire has the absolute gall to show up live tonight in Boston - with Jinder Mahal treating the Boston Championship belt like a hostage (dragging, striking and disrespecting it). The colossal Great Khali and brutish caveman Great Gama behind him cuts an intimidating sight, while the mysterious and evil Raesha Saeed lurks amongst them. Waves of XPW Security usher them to ringside.


Translation: “Everyone listen to me! From now one, no one will under estimate me. No one from now on should have a doubt that I am the best. I will become the champion of the world. I will show everyone tonight, what I am capable to do in the WWE”.

”WWE” = XPW Remixed


The crowd nearly drowns out his sermon with their boos, but Mahal switches to English with his promo and absolutely slays the Boston crowd with his mic work. This is late 50’s riots in the stands/’70s armory shankings/ late 90s Dudley Boyz type of heat here, with fans literally bursting out of their seats to show their disdain for Mahal, his crew, his mission and their actions. But Mahal seems to be thriving on it, using their bile as rocket fuel for his wild-eyed monarchial rants. Perhaps driven mad by his own base of power, and invigorated by the hatred around him, Mahal even taunts Boston with an “open challenge”. People are actually getting thrown out of the building now for trying to scale the guard rails to fight him. “Give me anybody in XPW Remixed! I don’t care WHO it is!!!”



OH MY FN GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s!….

It’s!…

JOHN CENA!!!




The Honky Tonk Man/Summer slam ‘88 moment is complete, as muthaphuckkin JOHN CENA blasts through the entrance curtain to possibly the loudest pop in the known multiverse. The crowd is rocking in WAVES in the background as Cena streaks to the ring, dominates the Empire and disposes of Jinder Mahal with a good old fashioned “FU” for the pinfall. All in about 20 seconds. A patriot missile has just struck the Evil Empire from the rear, reducing their kingdom to rubble! Mahal and camp are SHOCKED! The crowd has gone BALLISTIC! And Cena is mobbed by screaming, celebrating fans as the Empire has to be quickly gathered up and ushered backstage to avoid confrontations with the public! This is like fans mobbing Larry Bird on the court in ’86, or the Red Sox riots of 2004. Boston Bruins 2011, New England Patriots 2001, City of Champions type shit right here. JOHN FN CENA has come to XPW Remixed and liberated the Boston Championship!!!!

Winner (and NEW Boston Champion): JOHN CENA!?!?!



____________________________________________________________________________________

* MAIN EVENT *

* Title Unification Bout *






BRUNO SAMMARTINO © vs LOU THESZ ©
vs “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS ©


vs. vs.

Thesz goes after Rogers, Bruno goes after Rogers then Thesz rolls up Sammartino! Bruno slams Thesz and he rolls out the ring. Sammartino and Rogers battle for a while then Sammartino sends the “Nature Boy” to the floor with a wicked clotheline over the top rope. Crowd is split equally, but cheers Sammartino unequivocally for that move. Bruno & Thesz then get the big dramatic center-ring staredown that draws goosebumps from the viewing audience. But Buddy Rogers sneaks in and attacks them from behind, driving Bruno from the ring and focusing on the legs of Thesz. He hangs him on the ropes but Thesz avoids the attack. Sammartino trips up Rogers and Thesz gives him an elbow drop. Sammartino & Thesz double team Rogers to huge cheers, but Bruno grabs Thesz and literally hurls him over the top rope like a sack of potatoes! Bruno tries for a pinfall on Rogers but can’t get it. Outside the ring Bruno shoves Thesz into the barricade. He goes after Rogers and slams his head on the other side barricade. Bruno rolls him back into the ring and catches Thesz on the ring apron. Both men try to suplex each other over the rope to either side, but Rogers trips up Bruno which in turn hangs Sammartino off the ropes in a wicked drop.



Bruno tries to force a submission from Buddy with his backbreaker, the same move that ended their very first fight for the WWWF championship.

Thesz works on the shoulder of Buddy Rogers with an armbar as the crowd chants for him. He continues the pressure but Rogers fights back; Thesz ducks two clotheslines from Buddy but Sammartino catches him for a backbreaker. Thesz gets knocked back down to the floor when he tries to get back in. Sammartino splashes Rogers near a corner for a two-count. He beats Buddy down until he rolls out the ring. Thesz attacks Rogers as he rolls out the ring by slamming his face off the announce table. Matt Striker points out that there are no disqualifications or count-outs in a triple threat match. Sammartino gives Rogers a back suplex inside the ring for a two-count, then applies the over-the-shoulder backbreaker yelling GIVE UP!!!! Thesz breaks up the hold and avoids Bruno charging at him. Rogers comes in to slam Thesz but Lou gets out and shoves him into Bruno's ribs. Thesz is on offense against both men and boots them in the face.



Another spectacular counter by the wrestling machine and Shooters Club captain Lou Thesz

Thesz knocks Rogers off the apron and he falls onto the announce table, Sammartino rolls him up for two, then he misses the elbowdrop and Thesz drops him backwards for 2. Bruno gets shoved into the corner and Thesz chops the shit out of him, but Bruno fires back with a series of rocking forearms and European uppercuts that have the Italian population in Boston going CRAZY!!!! Thesz and Sammartino finally have their long-awaited segment, as Rogers rests outside the ring. The crowd is split 50/50 (maybe 45/55 in favor of da Brune) and start a series of dueling chants. Thesz sets up the Thesz Press, but Sammartino CATCHES him and twists him into a power slam! On the mat Bruno starts sinking in a rear naked chock! But Thesz rolls through, rolls through, and scrambles until he can get to the ropes for a break. But Bruno muscles him BACK into the center of the ring!!! Thesz is in danger of passing out but Buddy Rogers is back in to break things up! He has the jump on Bruno and now Rogers gets a chance to work both his opponents over. Rogers is a heat machine, and everything from his cocky strut to antagonizing mannerisms are on full display tonight.



"To a nicer guy it couldn't happen!!!"

Thesz later counters a Buddy Rogers Figure-4 attempt into Lou’s own STF!!! But Sammartino runs in, and suddenly HE suffers the STF! Rogers grabs Thesz and plants him with the Impaler DDT. Sammartino kicks Rogers in the gut as both men struggle to their feet, and looks to launch Rogers over the top rope with an Awesome Bomb!!! But Rogers counters the powerbomb with a DDT. Rogers backs into a corner and sets up a running punt to Bruno’s head (ala Randy Orton circa 2010), but Thesz cuts him off! Thesz catches Rogers with a fishersmans suplex for 2 but Bruno connects with a Dominator!!! Rogers rolls out the ring and Bruno stalks Thesz for the over-the-shoulder backbreaker attempt… but Thesz reverses OUT of the backbreaker and hit’s a backstabber! Rogers is so desperate at this point that he’s grabbed a steel chair! He swings at Bruno, clanging the chair off his head with concussive force!!! Another one for Thesz! Bruno has been PINNED and eliminated by Buddy Rogers!!! Crowd boos that decision heavily, but Rogers is a tactical genius and applauds his own acumen.



Thesz & Rogers battle down to the wire.

Now Thesz is on the defense as Rogers just gets mean with the steel chair-assisted brutality. He focuses on the surgically rebuilt knee of Thesz and draws BANNANNAS crowd heat. But with Rogers signaling for the Figure-4, Thesz uses a desperate rapid-fire drop toe-hold on Rogers that sends him to the mat face-first into his own steel chair! Thesz cinches in the STF extra tight!!! The crowd is going crazy!!! Rogers teases the tap before finally relenting and pounding the mat!!! Lou Thesz has done it!!! He keeps the STF locked in extra tights for a few moments longer, until refs literally PRY him off Rogers body. The crowd cheers as now balloons and confetti begin falling from the ceiling! Lou Thesz has done it!!! He’s become the first man to unify the fractured denizens of the XPW Remixed universe! Lou Thesz is the true Undisputed champion in all of fantasy wrestling!!!!

Winner (and UNDISPUTED CHAMPION): Lou Thesz!!!



____________________________________________________________________________________



Weedman cuts through the throngs of celebrating fans to finally find his target and deliver his VERY IMPORTANT message... from the entire XPW Remixed universe...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MSD!!!



CREDITS:

SCOTT & JUSTIN: Unforgiven 2000 recap



View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 2-2-2012 at 05:33 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV EPISODE #35



XPW TV EPISODE #35

Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

Ladies and gentleman we are broadcasting LIVE from an undisclosed location on the East Coast! We are fresh on the heels of the best Territory Wars PPV of the year so far with XPW Remixed presents “(Another) New Years Revolution”! A historic triple threat unification match went down and a new champion for the ages was crowned! Plus, a new Television champion, Terry Funk was forcefully removed from XPW, the French Angel was unmasked and JOHN CENA debuted as new Boston Champion! We’ll here from all of those players on their game-changing moments later, as the march to “My Bloody Valentine II” begins!!! Show some love!!!

XPW Remixed presents...



"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"


Coming late Feb!!!

** CUT TO RING **

_________________________________________________________________________________

”ONE KING TO RULE THEM ALL”



New unified XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ opens the show… official championship coronation… congratulatory promo thanking God, his training partners, family and fans… huge cheers and “THANK U LOU!” chants… segues towards his future goals of being a fighting champion and unifying ALL the championships in the Territory Wars universe!... this elicits huge cheers, but also brings out XPW Remixed East Coast VP JOE “TOOTS” MONDT!!! (light boos)…



His stake in the XPW Remixed championship remains unchanged, as the result of Thesz’ victory at “(Another) New Years Revolution”, therefore Gold Dust Trio Inc. still reserve the right to name the #1 contender… suddenly “Black & Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa interrupts his patronizing announcement – enter BRUNO SAMMARTINO (big pop)!!!...



Quick, impassioned promo from Sammartino where he straddles the line between respecting Thesz but not his win… da Brune should be the #1 Contender!!! Sammartino rages against Buddy Rogers (who chair shot to Bruno @ “(Another) New Years Revolution” turned the tide of their battle)… ultimately drawing forth the “Nature Boy” himself!!!...




“Diamonds from Sierra Leone” instrumental by Kanye West brings forth the charismatic Godfather himself, in all his glory… thousand dollar tailor-made suits, million dollar entourage (including Alex Riley, Missy Hyatt and big Matt Morgan), and alongside his manager and agent Jack Pfefer – enter “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS! On the stick, Rogers states HIS case and claim to glory and Pfefer concludes by demanding that Rogers be granted the #1 Contendership against Thesz…



Finally, this brings out East Coast President himself ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS… with the loss of their West Coast title, the Commission has been weakened and will subsequently be ousted from XPW Remixed completely!... Gold Dust Trio Inc alone rules XPW Remixed now... But the "Commission" are still legally bound to a championship rematch... so the first order of their new GDT Inc regime will be the christening of a new #1 Contender… so TONIGHT… in this very ring… we will have a #1 Contenders match… Bruno Sammartino versus “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers… versus this man…


Ezekiel Jackson!!!



BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs BUDDY ROGERS vs EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!

(#1 Contenders Match)

TONIGHT!!!


** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

GENERATION ME versus JUGGALO NINJAS (w/ Insane Clown Posse)

versus

Back from commercial and the fluorescent tights-wearing GenME pretty boys are already in the ring with a microphone and mean scowls… the fans boo them as Gen Me whine and complain about being misused and held down… this raises the crowd boo quotient, but it also (surprisingly) draws out none other than the INSANE CLOWN POSSE for a retort!!!... Violent J (with Shaggy as his hype man) cuts a quick promo on those two ungrateful little “bitch boys” to huge cheers, before unleashing their JUGGALO NINJAS stable upon them!!! The new ICP-attired and inspired combo of Necro Butcher & MadMan Pondo make the weapon-filled run in to big cheers… GenME are still able to dazzle with a few spots (using tables and chairs as weapons and propellants), but ultimately the element of surprise proves too much and the Juggalo Ninjas win after a wild spot in which Necro Butcher lights HIS OWN LEG ON FIRE before hitting a flaming leg drop from the top rope on one of the Jackson bros!!! HUGE pop for that as the Juggalo Ninjas continue their rise up the card. During commercial break, ICP actually regales the live audience with an in-ring concert!!!

Winners: JUGGALO NINJAS



** CUT **


******************


** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Cameras catch JTG (formerly of “Cryme Tyme” fame) parlaying with his entourage and hanger-on’s JC Ice Baby & Wolfie D… aka “PG-13”… the arrogant, ignorant, completely-oblivious white boys talk with outdated slang and use ridiculously exaggerated body language and keep tugging their black Raider hats (and pulling on their Black Raider coats)… they’re “keeping it real” to JTG how much better rappers PG-13 are than ICP… JTG nods his head in agreement… PG-13 go on and on with fake macho bluster about how they should call out ICP for a rap-off (as the entire audiences lets out a collective groan)… but instead, former XPW Tag Team champions RUCKUS & SABIAN enter the picture! BLKOUT! And they’ve brought with them another scary, bandanna-covered goon almost twice their size… BLKOut mock and patronize PG-13 about their “rapping skills”, even encouraging JC Ice Baby to bust a rhyme… but just as he’s about to spit - BAM! - BLKOut’s 3rd man knocks him out with one punch! DAAAAAYUUUUMMMM!!!! Is all JTG can say. “U JUST GOT KNOCKED THE F OUT!!!” Introducing to XPW Remixed, “Mister 1.9” Michael Tarver! And he’s the heavyweight firepower riding with BLKOut!!!




** CUT **


*******************


** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



In "The Commission" office, "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers is giving his Diamond Dynasty the pep talk about doing something "BIG" and keeping their name in lights tonight on Rogers way to victory in the main event. The Dynasty disperses to leave Commission VP Jack Pfefer alone in the office to field a phone call... it's the annoying, grating voice of The Grand Wizard again... they briefly argue before Pfefer once again hangs up on TGW... but this time, TGW's voice doesn't stop!!! Pfefer looks around, momentarily confused, as none other than THE GRAND WIZARD himself walks in the background, still "talking" into his cell phone while eyeing down his ungrateful little underling!!! When Pfefer turns around and sees TGW has returned his jaw drops! The two former associates go nose to nose, finger to finger as we witness the dissolution of the Commission once and for all. TGW warns Pfefer he better make good on his #1 Contendership match tonight... or else he's FIRED!!! Both men throw a tantrum as cameras cut away!




The Grand Wizard has returned with a business ultimatum for his partner Jack Pfefer!!!


** CUT TO RING **


_________________________________________________________________________________

”SHOOTER” TONY JONES versus SAMI CALLIHAN

versus

Cut to the Cali Cripplers locker room, where Ad Santel (arm still in a sling/cast) oversees his team… the Uso’s and Tamina linger… B-Boy stands disinterested and looking hard… Adam Pearce is stretching and getting ready for his match… he's all talk about his greatness and willingness to get the Cripplers training camp back on the map... but when the note comes in with his opponents name for the evening (and Pearce gets an eyeful), suddenly Adam Pearce has a “muscle pull”… and has to withdraw from the match because of injury! This leaves rarely-used, reserve Cali Cripplers trainee “The Shooter” Tony Jones to be the substitute! In the ring, Sami Callihan’s theme reveals him to be the opponent and the crowd cheers voraciously… “Shooter” Tony Jones, believe it or not, is an XPW Original and even had a very famous try-out with the WWF filmed for “Beyond the Mat”… so that’s why he’s on the roster… but he’s just enhancement talent… squash for Sami Callihan tonight as the “New Horror” runs through all his favorite spots and cuts through the unprepared “Shooter” like a hot knife through butter… Sami forces Jones to tap with his “Stretch Muffler” finisher… speaking of violent similes, Sami Callihan has driven himself into such a frenzy that post match he actually unsheashes a switchblade and slices Jones up!!! Later Callihan gets to cut an eerie, close-up promo in the aisleway while waving the bloody switchblade knife about... his wild eyed, manicial rantings are profoundly intense and distressed...

Winner (by submission): SAMI CALLIHAN


** CUT **


*******************

"THE STREET DOG SPEAKS"


"CZW" = XPW Remixed

Jon Moxley touches on his historic "Loser Leaves XPW" match against Terry Funk at "(Another) New Years Revolution" and why he is the future of Fantasy Wrestling.

** CUT **

******************


”CHAMPIONSHIP 3-WAY DANCE: XPW style”




Reigning and defending XPW Remixed tag team champions the (Real) Kings of Wrestling (Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter) are featured in a celebratory skit. They are men’s men, real champions and kings of the world… Idol & Shatter continue to prove they are the best tag team in fantasy wrestling TODAY… their championship valet and escort JESSICA DARLIN has a final word of all you “haterz” out there, as the bedroom door shuts on their party…



Jessica Darlin

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

_________________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Television Championship **



THE MIZ versus OFFICER CABANA

versus

Championship rematch from the PPV… Officer Cabana has been one of the most flat-out entertaining heels in recent XPW Remixed history… the MIZ is perfect in his role as Champion of all TV land… their mic work to start the match picks up where their last fight ended, before they embark upon the physical sequel… entertaining bump-filled brawl in and around the ringside area… more pop culture references from “Dukes of Hazzard” to “Cops”… loud “F*** the Police” chants are edited out for TV… Miz retains clean with a Skull-Crushing finale… but before Officer Cabana can extract his postmatch revenge (including handcuffs and a taser) – the MESSIAH returns to give Officer Cabana his long-awaited comeuppance!... Miz retains… Messiah returns… and Officer Cabana pays for his wrestling sins… fans applaud the decision.

Winner (and STILL XPW Television Champion): THE MIZ



Messiah returns to wreak vengeance upon the corrupt Officer Cabana

(Post match – after the Messiah has cleared Officer Cabana from the ring and disappeared from view… Miz is left to soak in his victory… but he is blindsided and attacked by none other than former Diamond Dynasty associate ALEX RILEY 2010 (alongside his girlfriend Missy Hyatt circa 1990)!!!! They beat, stomp and humiliate MIZ – using a loaded Gucci purse and his own TV belt against him… Riley & Hyatt (in their street chic finest) pose with the belt over Miz’s prone body to hellacious boos!!!)



"Diamonds are forever, baby!!!"


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


_________________________________________________________________________________

"SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS"



NEW JACK is in the ring!!! The Original Gangsta is BACK in XPW Remixed!!! But where's he been?? New Jack cuts a crowd-pleasing welcome back promo that quickly veers off into uncharted and disturbing waters. New Jack is accusing his former tag team partner Pogo the Clown of all kinds of sick and disturbing things! (child molestation is inferred)! New Jack is disgusted, repulsed and filled with hatred! Calls out his former partner Pogo the Clown to answer the charges! The sick mad man and New Jack wind up getting in a violent brawl all around the arena!!! The crowd heat is intense as people (and New Jack) now have murderous intentions for Pogo the Clown!!!



POGO the CLOWN: one sick man


****************




Cameras cut backstage to the former Triple Threat locker room where a shouting match between Shane Douglas and Eddie Gilbert has escalated into a brawl! The former partners blame each other for everything (bringing it all the way back to Gilbert's wayward roll of quarters shot at "GENOCIDE") and destroy the locker room in their struggle. Finally security breaks them up and Gilbert throws out the challenge (which Douglas quickly accepts) - Next Episode! Douglas vs Gilbert! Dog Collar Match!!!

** CUT TO RING **


*******************


FRENCH ANGEL versus MONDO KLEEN (w/ Tony Rumble)

versus w/

The rise of the tormented ANGEL is depicted in beautiful video form; framing his quest for acceptance amid the backdrop of Tony Rumble’s grimy and demeaning “WHACK PACK”… the Boston Bad Boy’s mean, bullying and belittling ways shed Angel in a sympathetic light… then the braggadocios challenge that changed Angel’s life for the worst when he was forced to unmask at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the HORROR!!!... now the segment starts with Rumble berating and screaming at Angel in the locker room, driving him into the ring to humiliate him further… in the ring, Rumble is like the evil Dr Frankestein to Angel’s poor, pathetic mentally-enslaved monster… Angel boils with misplaced rage but can’t bring himself to strike Rumble, even as Tony yells, screams and slaps the shambling man-beast… finally Angel has enough and grasps Rumble firmly around the throat, shaking him! Crowd cheers! But now Rumble’s goon MONDO KLEEN makes the run-in and attacks from behind… we get a bell finally as a match is beginning… Kleen dominates Angel and Rumble loves every minute of it… but when Angel makes the superhuman comeback (with the crowd cheering), Rumble interferes and stops Angel’s surge… Now Rumble has a steel chair and is preparing to slide it to Kleen for the finishing blow… none other than SAMMI LANE has run down to ringside to intercept the weapon!!! Instead, she redirects the chair to Angel who winds up CLUBBING Mondo Kleen and Tony Rumble with it!!! Angel gets the pin! But he is still ashamed to show his face post match, until Sammi Lane embraces and encourages him! She sees Angel for the beautiful person he is on the inside. The French Angel & Sammi Lane celebrate for the crowd, with Sammi further urging Angel from his shy, unconfident shell…

Winner: FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane)



** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

HARDBODY HARRISON versus MILDRED BURKE
(Steel Cage Match)

versus



Segment starts with another self-financed commercial for Hardbody Harrison’s female “wrestling academy”… video recap of his feud with Mildred Burke that paints a very dark and disturbing picture… then MILDRED BURKE gets the backstage interview treatment with MSD… “Depression” era hardcore from Burke who has survived countless untold horrors in her rise through pro wrestling… and that road to salvation continues tonight when Burke is locked in a steel cage with Harrison… Hardbody represents every degrading facet of sexism in the ring; from jello and apartment wrestling to (as it is rumored) outright prostitution… Burke stands up for woman’s rights tonight, or dies trying… Cut to ring for Hardbody Harrison’s pimptastic entrance… part D’Angelo Dinero / part Funkasaurus… procession of street walkers and scantily clad strippers accompany him to the ring and hold his walkout gear (colorful pimp hat, cane, necklace etc…) Mildred Burke gets her rousing walk-out before commercial break… Locked in the cage (in itself a great visual), the muscular Burke is underestimated early by the flashy, showy (and downright MEAN) Hardbody… but when she starts flexing the surprise takedowns and shoot holds made famous by the REAL “hookers” of her generation, Mildred Burke lets Harrison knows what it feels like to be pimped! But finally his temper takes over and Hardbody just gets nasty with the steel cage assaults… even Gordon Solie on commentary is pleading for someone to end the match… but Burke never submits and winds up almost winning the match by scaling the cage (after lowblowing Hardbody and stripping him to his G-string)… but the “wrestling trainees” outside the ring interfere and stop Burke from lowering herself to the ground… Hardbody drags her back in and goes for the finish… but a series of reversals finds Hardbody trapped in a devastating triangle choke in the middle of the ring!!! He tries tapping out but this is a steel cage match! Soon he goes unconscious! Burke releases the hold and tries going out the door but AGAIN the hoes (aka “wrestling trainees”) are upon her! Now Burke just goes berserk, clearing the hoes out black ninja-style! Harrison has staggered back to his feet just in time to meet an airplane spin from Burke that twirls him right into a stunner! Burke walks out the cage the victor!!!

Winner: MILDRED BURKE



Post match Hardbody Harrison and his hoes attack Mildred Burke and start beating her down again… but this time she fights back, and none other than XPW Remixed president ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS makes the run-in with a few dozen security guards to restore order!... Lewis on the house mic… he says they “know what kind of business” Harrison has been running… more ominous words from Lewis as an angry and raging Hardbody is now HANDCUFFED and arrested by a crew of uniformed police officers!!! They’re picking up the hoes too! Crowd sings the “hey hey hey GOODBYE” song as Harrison is ushered out of the building! Burke gets a standing ovation in the center of the ring as she soaks in her victory!!!

** CUT BACKSTAGE **


******************


"THE FLUFF BOWL"



XPW Remixed Woman's Champion LIZZY BORDEN

Cameras cut backstage to find XPW Remixed Woman's Champion (and division president) LIZZY BORDEN watching the Burke match intently on the moniter. Burke's victory has seemingly warmed Borden's juices and now she's itching for some competition for herself. Borden declares her intent for next episode - a random drawing lottery called "The Fluff Bowl". Lizzy Borden (depending on her mood) will draw 1, 2 or maybe even 3 names from her "fluff bowl" (rolodex of contact information for a bunch of floozies, hoes and "apartment wrestlers") to compete with her (the Woman's Champion) on XPW TV!!!

Lizzy Borden's "Fluff Bowl"! Next Episode of XPW TV!


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

_________________________________________________________________________________

SHEAMUS versus CHRIS CANDIDO (w/ Sunny & Big Shad G)

versus

Segment starts with a soured Chris Candido having a heart-to-heart with his girlfriend Sunny in the locker room… the Triple Threat era is over and it’s time to go solo… Candido still wants his girlfriend Sunny to escort him to the ring… and she’s fine with that, as long as she gets to bring her PERSONAL bodyguard Big Shad G! That’s right, after the Triple Threat disbanded at “(Another) New Years Revolution” she BOUGHT Big Shad’s contract! (w/ Candido’s winnings, mind you)! Candido is shocked and appalled but there’s nothing he can do as Big Shad G enters the scene and shares some hilarious obvious flirtations with Sunny! Meanwhile in the Sheamus locker room, he cuts one of his old Irish family stories that tips his hat to Danno O’Mahoney’s memory while still promising to kick Candido’s arse… Sheamus won’t stop until every member of the Triple Threat has been removed from XPW Remixed… Back from commercial and we are joined on guest commentary by BAM BAM BIGELOW!!! During the following TV match we cover the following intersecting story arcs: Sheamus’ pro-Irish crusade in O’Mahoney’s memory… the sexual tension between Sunny and Big Shad G… and Bam Bam’s “welcome to XPW Remixed” mission statement… Bigelow is now being recruited by all the top managers in XPW and will make his decision in time… but first he had to settle some old scores and show he had a heart… Bigelow respects Sheamus and was inspired by his mission (this is coming from the same guy who risked his life to save children from a burning building)… Eventually Sheamus runs over Candido with the Brogue Kick and finishes with his Celtic Cross crucifix powerbomb!!!



Winner: SHEAMUS

Postmatch an angry and dejected Candido tries confronting Sunny, but EATS a Timberland boot from Big Shad G instead!!! Shad lays out Candido and startes leaving with Sunny... but not before exchanging a few angry words with Sheamus... while Bam Bigelow applauds Sheamus victory, Big Shad G tries attacking Sheamus from behind!!!... but Bam Bam runs in and teams with Sheamus to run Gaspard out of the ring for good! Gaspard & Sunny retreat backstage while Sheamus and Bam Bam pose in the ring together... the beginning of a devestating new tag team union?



Bam Bam Bigelow comes highly recruited.


** CUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

"THE CHAMP IS HERE"





Backstage, new Boston champion JOHN CENA (huge cheers) makes his XPW TV debut!!! He’s standing with MSD and cuts an entertaining, exciting, patriotic and intense promo – initiating himself into XPW Remixed by taking OUT the Evil Empire!... Tonight he continues that fight for Hustle. Loyalty. Respect. Alongside the legendary Olympia! Tonight he teams with Mil Mascaras and Tommaso Ciampa in a 6 man tag team match!!! The masked Luchadore legend Mil Mascaras strolls into the scene and cuts a crowd rousing Spanglish promo! Just then, we are alerted to the sounds of ruckus coming from the Olympia dressing room… cameras, Cena, Mascaras and MSD rush to the scene where we find a darkened locker room and Tommaso Ciampa’s unconscious body!!! The young Olympia trainee has been attacked and disabled! Cena and Mascaras swear vengeance, but cameras linger on an unfamiliar logo branded on the locker room door…



THE EVIL EMPIRE versus JOHN CENA, MIL MASCARAS… and WILLIAM MULDOON!!!
(6-Man Tag Team Madness)

versus

The Evil Empire are already in the ring – but (perhaps surprisingly) claim NO responsibility this time for the attack upon Tommaso Ciampa!... now Jinder Mahal is preaching racial profiling and other complaints, concerning these assumptions and the loss of his Boston championship at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… behind him the brick wall of GAMA stands beside the lumbering freak of nature Great Khali. Raisha Saeed shadows them all mysteriously… Mahal continues his anti-American tirade, but because of Ciampa’s “accident” he graciously offers to step aside in this fight, lest it become a handicap match… so Cena & Mascaras vs Gama & Khali!... but Cena and Mascaras get their big heroes entrance and Cena has a mic… DECLINES Mahal’s offer! They want him in the ring TONIGHT! Handicap match rules if necessary! Mahal is outraged by their brazen challenge and accepts! The Evil Empire fall to the titanic forces of Cena & Mascaras, until the numbers game (and Saeed) ultimately become too much… extended heel beatdown segment on Cena (cuz Mascaras don’t sell shit)… Great Gama in particular is just a beast and nearly breaks Cena’s neck with a release suplex… But with Mascaras (and his still injured arm) on the outside, and Cena about to be locked in Mahal’s deadly arm breaker Inside the ring – none other than “The Solid Man” WILLIAM MULDOON makes his surprise return!!! He’s clearly in rough shape, but is willing to risk it all to save the day… the fans cheer and ultimately he gets the dramatic hot tag… Muldoon clears house and we’ve got a donnybrook!... After a series of rapid-fire finishing sequences from each of the men (starting with a Great Khali chop to Muldoon’s forehead) ends with William Muldoon trapping Jinder Mahal in his Anaconda Vice dead center in the ring! Khali tries to run interference but Mascaras cross bodyblocks him out of the ring!... Great Gama tries to save but Cena FU’s the prehistoric savage right out of the ring!... Mahal still trapped in the vice, ready to tap!... Saeed tries the last desperation run-in but is intercepted by Olympia trainee and former XPW Woman’s champion ALEXXIS NEVAEH!!! Jinder Mahal has no choice but to tap! The crowd ROARS at the decision! The Empire has been defeated again, and driven from the ring! Muldoon, Mascaras, Nevaeh and JOHN CENA regroup and celebrate proudly in THEIR squared circle!!!

Winners: OLYMPIA & JOHN CENA


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

_________________________________________________________________________________

BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs BUDDY ROGERS vs EZEKIEL JACKSON
(#1 Contenders Match)

versus versus

Thesz gets the champions entrance and joins Solie & Striker on commentary. “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers out first (escorted by a bevy of beautiful woman), then Ezekiel Jackson and finally Bruno Sammartino. Rogers bails as da Brune hits the ring. The three men start in three separate corners but Big Zeke gets the upper hand in a brawl with Bruno while Rogers avoids confrontation. Jackson bodyslams Bruno as Thesz and the announcers recall Big Zeke’s shocking championship victory over Bruno last year (see “Fall Out”). Rogers knocks both of them into the ropes and goes for the shoulderblock but Big Zeke just runs right through him! Rogers gets thrown out of the ring, and Sammartino and Jackson have another exchange – this time with Sammartino getting the better. A dominator from Bruno gets a nearfall. Rogers ends up in the corner with Sammartino and Jackson follows up with a Big Clothesline and boot combination to both Bruno and Rogers. Jackson starts grounding & pounding Rogers but the “Nature Boy” gets a reversal and starts to develop some offense on Jackson (focusing on his leg and ankle). Rogers sets up for a backstabber on Jackson but Bruno catches HIM in an over-the-shoulder backbreaker!!! Rogers almost taps but Big Zeke spears Sammartino and both men go tumbling from the ring. Sammartino & Jackson hit the arena floor, while Buddy Rogers recuperates inside it. All three men are shown on the ground as XPW TV goes to commercial.

We come back and Bruno is trying to get back in the Ring while Rogers has the better of Big Zeke. Rogers goes for the whip into the corner, Jackson reverses - shoots out and FLATTENS Rogers with a clothesline… but then walks right into a Bruno powerslam for two! Sammartino gets the backbreaker, then he drives Rogers into the post before resuming his attack on Jackson. But Big Zeke starts to get some space by throwing elbows which Bruno answers with a kick and some Muay Thai knees. Sammartino goes for a shot off the rope but Rogers pulls down the top rope! Now Rogers catches Big Zeke with a chopping block, and rolls up him for a near fall. Rogers baits Jackson into the corner and almost pins him with his feet on the ropes, but Bruno throws him off at the last moment. Bruno goes for another clothesline that takes out both Jackson and Rogers. All three men are down outside. Rogers gets back in the ring and encourages a double count-out from the ref. Rogers hits a sliding dropkick on Bruno. Big Zeke gets up and counters a Rogers charge into a “Book of Ezekiel” standing uranage!!! Very loud two count that got the crowd going! Whip into the ropes from Jackson, but Rogers ducks under and runs into a Sammartino lariat on the other side of the ring! Bruno throws Rogers into Jackson, but Big Zeke CATCHES Rogers in the air and military press slams to a HUGE pop!!! Sammartino and Jackson are jawing back and forth, snorting, pounding their chests and flexing their muscles! The crowd is exploding now as the two strongman start swinging wildly!

Rogers spins out of nowhere and knocks Sammartino from the ring before cinching in the Figure-4 leglock on Jackson!!! All the sudden now Matt Morgan comes out of nowhere to antagonize a flailing Jackson, and distract the referee. With the referee now distracted by Matt Morgan (and Bruno angrily exchanging words with him), Alex Riley appears outside the ring and he grabs Rogers hands and leans back, giving his Figure-4 extra bone-breaking leverage! But now LOU THESZ is up from his seat at commentary and fighting off Alex Riley!!! Jackson catches Buddy Rogers with a spinebuster but his knee is still hurting! Bruno spins Jackson around into a sit-out Dominator! Over-the-Shoulder Backbreaker on Buddy Rogers and the “Nature Boy” submits!!!! Bruno has coaxed a submission from his eternal arch-nemesis! The Diamond Dynasty regroup and argue on the floor… Big Zeke looks despondent and in pain on the arena floor… while Thesz and Sammartino have the epic level staredown to end the show!!!

Winner (and NEW #1 Contender): BRUNO SAMMARTINO

** FADE OUT **

_________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...



"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus Bruno Sammartino


_________________________________________________________________________________




[Edited on 2-2-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 2-9-2012 at 04:50 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #11

XPW ONLINE #11





Cut to the in-studio host for the show:


Sunny

I love hosting all the TV shows because it's basically my show – I'm on the whole show for the whole hour. There’s so much stuff! I have a lot of fun here.

** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"OCCUPY XPW REMIXED"




Show opens with a wild, cramped crowd shots of fans going crazy in the balcony. There - amongst the rowdy people - is none other than NICK FN GAGE and the BLKOut crew! (Ruckus, Sabian and now Michael Tarver)… Gage has the mic for a rousing profanity-laced promo that gets everybody chanting “XPW! XPW!” Gage is sick of the politics and plays this game (and jeopardizes his freedom) for one thing only - the love of the sport! This is the sport of kings and NICK FN GAGE is the Future of Hardcore!!! He then makes another brazen challenge and threat to XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele - ordering the Commissioner to give Gage what he wants tonight, or risk a crew of hooded-up, mask-wearing goons kicking down his office door! Gage means business tonight and he ain’t going nowhere until Steele gives him a TITLE SHOT!


Nick Gage does it for the love!


** CUT TO RING **


”SICK” NICK MONDO vs HUMAN TORNADO vs WEEDMAN vs SAMOA JOE

versus versus versus

[color=limegreen]”Sick” Nick Mondo’s recreation as a Jr Heavyweight sensation has reinvigorated his XPW Remixed career, and may have forestalled his ultimate destiny had fate not intervened (the stain’s of Mondo’s past with the Cannibal Cartel with haunt him forever)… Mondo gets a chance to deliver his style of high-octane offense, seasoned by Human Tornado’s capoeira/jive dance moves and flavored with Weedman’s extracurricular match antics… but this fight is really just a display for Samoa Joe… who enters as 4th surprise contestant and has little to no problem running through each of his opponents… After Mondo - then Human Tornado - wipe out with crowd pleasing top rope vaults, Samoa Joe winds up alone with Weedman where a muscle buster/ rear naked choke in quick succession squeezes out the tap!!! Weedman submits!

Winner: SAMOA JOE

Post match Samoa Joe is on a rampage, SCREAMING for “competition!” You see why this segment was probably cut from XPW TV, because Joe uses excessive profanity... As he rants, with spittle catching the camera lens, we see the devilish Sami Callihan lurking in the distance! Is he preparing to answer?? Instead, Joe vents his frusteration, throws a few officals aside, and storms backstage... Joe has finally powdered out of the ring, where cameras focus on a recuperating Nick Mondo… who is suddenly blindsided by Sami Callihan!!! “The New Horror” (still in Hot Topic street clothes) lays into Mondo from the rear, and tosses him into set lights and guard rails… finally the switchblade knife comes out and Callihan gigs Mondo’s forehead causing a torrent of bloodshed! XPW Security intervenes but it’s too late… Mondo is wounded and Callihan cuts another close-up, off the cuff promo for the cameras while waving his bloody switchblade knife about…



Sami Callihan makes a case to call himself "Best of the Best"...


SUNNY SAYZ:



"There's just a bunch of back-stabbers [and] nobody likes each other in the locker room."


** CUT **

****************

"A WORD FROM THE COMPANY"



Cameras catch Lewis & Mondt leaving a city hall meeting with just enough time to answer a few questions... they have a few very interesting contractual caveats concerning the secession of "The Commission" - regardless if whether or not they're able to cash in their championship rematch... and after XPW TV Episode #35, they failed at that too... now GDT Inc has some very important words of advice for TGW, Jack Pfefer and their Commission office come next Episode... get a lawyer... cuz we sure did, and you're bound to meet him next Episode when your Territory Wars fates are SEALED!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

COMING SOON TO XPW REMIXED...



The Famous, Fantastic, Fantasy-wrestling debut of the FABULOUS KANGAROOS


** CUT TO RING **


USO’s (2010) w/ Ad Santel & Tamina versus HAVANA PITBULLS (2004)

versus

Ad Santel name is linked to the evolution of pro wrestling, both as a trainer and as a competitor. In XPW Remixed, he’s come to play a character somewhere in between John Tolos’ brash “Coach” (circa early 90s WWF and manager to Mr Perfect) and Cowboy Bob Orton (with his ever present arm cast)… The Uso’s are college-educated, streetwise athletes who lean on their pre-match war dance as a character-defining trait as well as an adrenaline-pumping warm up… They have the slight size advantage on Reyes and Romero, but the Pitbulls bring that raw Indy-feel that leaves the Uso’s with stiff chop marks and mat burns… this is revenge for the Uso’s humiliating victory over them previously (see XPW Online #10)… now fully prepared and fresh, the Pitbulls take advantage of the Uso’s and even overcome an interference attempt by Santel to catch Jey Uso in their tag team finisher (like a Demolition Decapitation but with a diving knee drop instead of an elbow). Good, highly competitive match between two young teams looking to become viable contenders for the XPW Tag Team straps.



Winner: HAVANA PITBULLS

** CUT **

***************

"XPW OCCUPIED"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



In the office with Commissioner Steele (and his secretary Jasmine St. Claire)... they are surrounded by XPW security and well aware of Gage's threats... Steele is barking orders on his cell phone, when Cali Cripplers head coach AD SANTEL bustles into the office, still hot from the previous match... the old school hooker expresses his extreme discontent with the finish of the previous match (on some "Mark Cuban versus NBA Referees" type shit)... Steele placates him, while still maintaining a working relationship with Santel's California-based training camp (should the BLKOut thing get too out of hand)... next XPW Online, the Havana Pitbulls versus 3 of Ad Santel's chosen cripplers!.. and that's the REAL DEAL!!!



** CUT **

***************

"JUICE"



Jon WHO?

JON MOXLEY catches roving cameras backstage, and demands they capture his next interaction… as he leads the camera down the office hallways of the building, he regales us on tales of his previous conquests and victories – including driving Terry Funk from XPW Remixed for good (see “(Another) New Years Revolution”)… but just as he’s approaching the office door of his destination, THE GRAND WIZARD is seen hustling out… It’s the Commission office, and Jon Moxley (still high off his victory over Funk) is planning on formerly introducing himself to The Grand Wizard and seeking his master guidance and tutelage… but these best laid plans go awry, when TGW (already surrounded by yes men and his mouth running a mile-a-minute with his own legal problems) completely snubs Moxley! TGW rudely acts like he doesn’t know Moxley, never heard of him, and dismisses him harshly – indicating he has MORE important fish to fry… cue entry of the Original SHEIK with his gleaming piece of championship hardware (the KotDM title)… Moxley eyes the Sheik, and then his belt… apparently each worth more than his own career… TGW waves him out of the way and leaves with his procession, still barking orders and demands… leaving a disgruntled, outraged Jon Moxley left to stew and fume in his own obscurity as cameras fade out…



The Grand Wizard has just returned to XPW Remixed and has too much on his plate to acknowledge a mere "underground Indy" wrestler...

** CUT TO COMMERICAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

DANNY HAVOC



Welcome to the online ("not a fuckin") blog by XPW Remixed Fantasy Superstar Danny Havoc... (aka "a reprint of all his awesome web rants"). Tonight, the the 2nd episode...

"I'VE DISCOVERED MY DESTINY.
(Finally; Purpose...)"


In life, it’s important to have goals. Without them, you’ll find yourself feeling lost and empty. You need to set realistic, reachable goals, so that you always have something to work toward. This creates a sense of purpose for the mindless, day-to-day routine. With that in mind, I’ve finally decided on my life’s goal: I’m going to turn the classic late '80s arcade game “BAD DUDES” into a feature-length film.



If you’re not familiar with “BAD DUDES,” you must be a douchebag. It’s the epic tale of two brothers (if not by blood, then at least brothers in “badness”) who are called upon by the US Government to save the President (“President Ronnie,” that is) from the evil Dragon Ninja, and his hordes of martial artist minions. That’s right, these two bandana-sporting street tuffs are the last hope that the inept American government has of saving the leader of the free world. The Secret Service, the CIA, the FBI, the entire US Armed Forces…none of them could stand against Dragon Ninja, and they knew it. So, in lieu of even trying to save the President by themselves, the Pentagon decided to call upon two of the baddest dudes your sorry ass will ever see, Striker and Blade, to reclaim Democracy from those scumfuck Asian bastards. Together, they battle their way through thousands of ninja, several Fire-breathing Russian strongmen, and the Dragon Ninja himself, to recapture Pres. Ronnie; and it’s not because they care about the government, either—hell no, they’d just as soon break their foot off in the asses of everyone in congress, and they would, too—they just did the whole thing for a kick, just to show everybody how goddamn bad they are. That’s the kind of quality storytelling that needs to make the transition to the big screen in the worst way. The tagline for the movie would be the same as that of the game, of course; “Rampant ninja-related crime these days. White House is NOT the exception!” Seriously, is that not fucking brilliant? It reads like a VCR instruction manual translated from Japanese. Awesome. As to the movie, the cast is the only thing that might prove difficult. Who possesses the necessary badness to portray these two heroes? Stallone and Chuck Norris? No, too geriatric. Jackie Chan and Vin Diesel? No, too ethnic. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck? Possibly…



In order to be done properly, it would have to be filmed as if it were a low-end 1980s street gang film, in the vein of “Tuff Turf” or even “The Warriors.” Our heroes, like in the game, would have to dress in matching tank tops, high-top sneakers, stylishly-tattered jeans, weight-lifting gloves, and red headbands. Also, as in the game, there would have to be a long, drawn-out fight scene atop a city bus, where ninja keep popping up from everywhere, and none of the people in the bus or around the town seem to notice (or perhaps they’re street smart, and know how “Bad” these “Dudes” are, and know not to get involved). Obviously, there would need to be a lot of power ballads, and at least one main character would need to carry an oversized boombox and spontaneously break into the “Robot” at some point.

This movie’s going to be fucking sweet…

** CUT TO STANDS **

******************

”OCCUPY XPW REMIXED Part 2”




More shots of Nick Gage and his crew partying with the fans in the stands and causing mosh pits, breast flashing, fights and general disturbances… the ringleader (and escaped fugitive on the run) Nick FN Gage catches the camera for another quick, up and close promo… still rocking his bandanna over the face he tells Commissioner Steele the clock is ticking on his reign and that he better answer Gage’s title shot ultimatum or run the risk of getting GOT! BLKOut are coming for U!!! More “Nick FN Gage!” and “XPW! XPW!” chants from the rowdy, drunk crowds around them…

** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

RAISHA SAEED versus ALEXXIS NEVAEH

versus

Revenge for the weeks of stalking and harassment levied upon the Olympia by Raisha Saeed’s Evil Empire… Saeed gets the ominous solo entrance portraying the role of masked terrorist… Nevaeh is the perky, no-nonsense mat technician… short, but dense encounter between the two competitors with each getting equal offense, but Nevaeh overcoming the nefarious illegal tactics in the end to win with a spinning implant DDT! Chalk another one up for the Olympia!!!

Winner: ALEXXIS NEVAEH


SUNNY SAYZ:



" I think they do have a crop of girls that have a lot more talent than the WWE girls because they have been schooled in the business. They either went to wrestling schools or they studied the business before they got into it, and they actually have respect for it and they want to be in the business because they like wrestling."


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

****************

"A SOLUTION FOR THE OCCUPATION"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



In the office with Commissioner Damien Steele (w/ his secretary Jasmine St. Claire)… he has received word of Nick Gage’s BLKOut threat - and while St Claire seemingly frets about being manhandled by groups of Black men at a time (with all the humorous innuendo that comes with that) - Steele is more than confident of his own protection… he has a plan, and he has indeed granted Nick Gage his coveted title shot… that way, we can continue to do business the XPW-way… WITHOUT legal interference…


** FADE OUT **

****************

MATT MORGAN challenges EZEKIEL JACKSON to a rubber match at
"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"


XPW Online - the place for exclusive, uncut XPW Remixed footage… after the cameras stopped rolling at Episode #35, this amazing video was captured… cut to darkened backstage entrance ramp, where a defeated and sore Ezekiel Jackson is re-emerging back into the gorilla position, after his grueling triple threat main event… there he is ambushed and attacked by Matt Morgan! The huge “Blueprint” actually winds up spearing Ezekiel Jackson THROUGH the entrance ramp wall, leaving him in the rubble!!! Matt Morgan flaunts his Diamond Dynasty Rolex and challenges Jackson to end their feud once and for all with a rubber match… Matt Morgan vs. Ezekiel Jackson… WALL OF STONE match!!! Only at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!



Matt Morgan is the "Blueprint" of the Diamond Dynasty!

** CUT **

****************

"AN ANSWER TO THE FLUFF BOWL"

Impassioned, backstage "shoot" interview with Annie Social where she denounces Lizzy Borden as a power-mad floozy who's blocking Social's rematch with all this "fluff bowl BS"... Annie Social is gonna show Lizzy Borden who is boss... just watch...



Former XPW Remixed Woman's champion ANNIE SOCIAL wants her fn belt back.

____________________________________________________________________________________

"WRESTLER HARDBODY HARRISON GUILTY IN SEX SLAVE TRIAL"



ATLANTA — A federal jury found former pro wrestler "Hardbody Harrison" guilty of multiple counts of sex trafficking and forced labor Wednesday in a scheme to force women into prostitution.Prosecutors said the former wrestler, whose real name is Harrison Norris, forced women into prostitution, holding them prisoner at two homes he owned in Cartersville. Norris acted as his own attorney during his trial in federal court. He was convicted of charges including conspiracy, witness tampering, aggravated sexual abuse, forced labor, and sex trafficking involving eight women. He has been sentenced to LIFE in prison. The case was handled by federal prosecutors because the suspects transported the women on interstate highways, provided them with condoms that were manufactured outside Georgia and used mobile phones.



Norris claimed he was just training the women to be professional wrestlers. He said many of them arrived on drugs and left in the best shape of their lives. During a two-week trial, prosecutors portrayed him as a predator who used his wrestling business to lure poor and vulnerable women into prostitution and forced labor. "I think the jury's verdict vindicates the rights of the victims who were brave enough to come forward and confront this man who abused them," Assistant U.S. Attorney Susan Coppedge said. Witnesses testified that Norris, a former Army sergeant and veteran of the Persian Gulf War, imposed a strict military structure, with each of the women assigned to a squad overseen by an "enforcer." One witness testified that Norris beat or threatened them to keep control and that he threatened to throw one through a hotel window when she would not engage in sex with two customers. In addition to forcing the victims to work as prostitutes, Norris made them work in and around his houses, requiring them to haul trees, lay sod and paint, according to testimony. Norris wrestled for the now-defunct World Championship Wrestling organization in the 1990s. In 2000, after leaving WCW, Norris, who is black, joined other wrestlers in a lawsuit against the company and its parent, Turner Sports. The lawsuit alleged racial discrimination, saying WCW cast nonwhite wrestlers in unflattering stereotypical roles. Norris settled out of court for a sum his family said was upward of $1 million.





SUNNY SAYZ:



"To bring girls in off the street that know nothing about this business and giving them a job when there are so many girls that really respect this business and have learned their craft that can’t get a job, I think that’s the wrong way to go about hiring girls."


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"STATE of the UNION"
(aka "the Shoot heard round the Territory Wars"



”Real Deal” Damien Steele (on-screen Commissioner of XPW Remixed) starts the segment in the ring, wearing his business-suit finest… calls for Gage who answers him from the balcony, wary of the security guards and riot officers Steele has surrounded the ring with… Steele bargains with Gage… nobody wants the cops called cuz then the entire XPW Remixed party gets shut down… so let’s keep things moving… Industry current events: Sheik survived his terrifying encounter with Jun Kasai at “(Another) New Years Revolution”, retaining his KotDM title… ladies & gentleman, introducing the reigning KING OF THE DEATH MATCH, the Original Sheik!!!



THE SHEIK (1969)

OG Sheik gets his elaborate championship entrance, alongside the now-returning TGW! Gage & his BLKOut crew watch on stoically as Sheik takes the ring (doing his prayer rug ritual) and The Grand Wizard greets Damien Steele on the mic… Crowd boos and vulgar chants almost drown out TGW, but his voice is a mighty sword cutting through their vitriol… TGW is BACK!!! Mission statement promo; he alone is the voice of power within the Commission and he alone commands their last claim to championship validation… but with that said, OG Sheik will be removed from action for an indefinite amount of time due to injuries suffered during his title match at “(A)NYR”… big time boos… but now Gage has a mic up in the stands to cut all the TGW’s self-aggrandizing, egotistical rantings in half…



This is it; the big one… Crowd-pleasing, chant-inducing promo from Gage that elevates the “KotDM” title to mythical proportions, while simultaneously ripping down TGW and the evil foreign menace Sheik’s involvement with it… this is “CM Punk shoots on Vince; WWE - summer 2011” type stuff… enough snaky “insider” references (including mentioning “CZW”, “the Philly Wars” and that “m******** c******* scumbag Rob Black” by name) to convince even the staunchest smart fan what they just witnessed was an off-the-cuff “shoot“… XPW Remixed went with that vibe of “uncut raw” by slicing Gage’s segment from the original TV broadcast reel, and instead relegating to XPW Online - where only the uncensored, too-hot-for-TV shenanigans transpire… Gage winds up talking himself into a 3-way dance TONIGHT for the “INTERIM” King of the Death Match championship! But not only that, since this is the East Coast and BLKOut RUN the muthaphuckkin East Coast, this match gets turned into a “Killadelphia’z Finest” Street Wars match!!! Featuring 3 of Philly’s most wanted, adopted Death Match wrestlers!… In XPW Remixed, such an emphasis is put on fan involvement that it always winds up putting the heels in embarrasing situations by playing on their macho bluster... Oh my, cue the FANS CHOICE entrances of Gage's two opponents tonight, and cue the look of unholy disgust from TGW and his crew!


** INTERIM King of the Death Match Championship match **



JUN KASAI (2012) versus SABU (1997) versus NICK GAGE (2010)
("Killadelphia'z Finest Street Fight"

versus versus

Main event match is a sleeper hit of the year… all 3 men received thunderous ovations from the crowd, climaxing with Sabu’s big welcome home… TGW (once again his bluster and ego getting the better of him in a testosterone-driven public setting) finds himself on commentary beside Solie & Striker, trying to rationalize his decision to allow this match to be for the “INTERIM” championship… all the while, Original Sheik sits nearby with the REAL KotDM title still over his shoulder…

All 3 men get off their most daring, crowd pleasing spots and dueling chants provide an almost international soccer-like level of involvement from the fans… barricades, chairs, tables, and then panes of glass all get used in devastating (and rousing) fashion… By linking the lineage of the KotDM title all the way back to the 60s, and forward through ECW, IWA, CZW and now XPW Remixed (and even mentioning XPW Remixed alumni like JC Bailey & Lil Chief as hardcore delegates) in his shoot promo, Nick Gage somehow managed to make this match feel like the most important fight in hardcore wrestling’s history… and all 3 men deliver; in return the crowd frenzy just feeds the flames further until you have this incredible photosynthesis of energy that can only be coined “pro wrestling nirvana”… top rope high wire acts, two ladders and a razor-board (thank u Jun Kasai) bring the match to it’s conclusion… Kasai misses a Kamikaze dive through light tubes - Sabu misses an Arabian face buster through a table… Gage catches Kasai with a brain buster on a cinderblock… 1!… 2!… 3!!! Nick Gage has done it!!! He takes hold of the belt, and immediately rechristens it the “Ultra violent Underground” championship - the only title that matters in Xtreme wrestling!!! (directed right at Sheik and TGW still watching from the announce table - a wall of security guards standing between them and the ring)

Winner (and NEW (Interim) KotDM Champion): NICK FN GAGE!!!

Post match, cameras linger on a longshot of the ring, where Gage clutches his belt (with his BLKOut crew watching his back)... he's shouting over a wall of XPW security that stand between the ring and the announce table, where TGW is running his mouth... but just as we're rolling credits and about to fade out, an unruly "fan" jumps the guard rail and attacks the Sheik!?!? That's no fan - that's JON MOXLEY! Who has just assaulted and bloodied the Sheik before security can even act!!! Now Jon Moxley has STOLEN the Sheik's physical title belt and is fleeing back through the stands!!! With the crowd in near-riot mode, Gage and crew watching on from the ring, and TGW ranting and storming at ringside - Moxley holds up the REAL KotDM championship and taunts TGW with angry, tantrum-like cries of "DO U KNOW ME NOW!!! WHAT'S MY NAME NOW??" He even gives the finger to Gage and his crew! Oh my, we're out of time for the night! "MY BLOODY VALENTINE II" coming soon! Show some love!!!



Nick Gage is the "Interim" champion... Sheik is the KotDM champ...
but JON MOXLEY has the belt!!!


SUNNY SAYZ:



"I’m not an advocate of it, but I’m not the kind of person who says, “Oh, deathmatches are bad. Don’t do them.” So in that sense, I really don’t think they should be so hard on that."


** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...



"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus Bruno Sammartino

Ezekiel Jackson versus Matt Morgan III
("Wall of Stone" Match)


_________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

DANNY HAVOC: http://dannyhavoc.tripod.com/id8.html
SUNNY: Baltimore Sun Interview 2008



_________________________________________________________________________________



View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 2-16-2012 at 08:04 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #36 (Happy Valentines Day!)

XPW TV Episode #36 (Happy Valentines Day!)

** LIVE UNCUT **



Guerrilla footage of a massacred BRUNO SAMMARTINO, left in a heap unmoving in the locker room… his face and chest soaked with blood from a vicious unseen attack… XPW security, officials, paramedics and even XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” Lewis hover above… this is like what Kurt Angle did to James Storm in TNA 2011... Sammartino is OUT.

** CUE TRADITIONAL TV INTRO **




Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

Highlight the vicious attack on Bruno... more words to come on that later, and how it jeapordizes the title match at the PPV... plus, Shane Douglas vs Eddie Gilbert in a "Dog Collar Match"... Lizzy Borden's "Fluff Bowl"... and Cena has pledged to defend his Boston championship... all TONIGHT!!!

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

"A TITLE SHOT BORN OF BLOODSHED"



Enter Commissioner Damien Steele to the ring… Breaking News: Sammartino attack and injury… as Commissioner he is forced to make a judicial ruling regarding the upcoming PPV championship match… Sammartino is OUT… and the new #1 contender is… “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS (booooo!!!!!)




Cue priceless entrance of “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers and his million dollar Diamond Dynasty… they take the ring for another bristling, self-aggrandizing promo… condolences go out to Sammartino’s career, but the XPW Remixed show must go on… Rogers gives the hard sell on why he deserves this #1 contendership, but it’s just greeted by boos… finally they’re answered by ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS and JOE “TOOTS” MONDT themselves! The Gold Dust Trio Inc and owners of XPW Remixed!!!



They challenge the ruling and they challenge Rogers’ involvement… Jack Pfefer has some legal retorts for the team, but Lewis says it himself - once they prove the Dynasty was behind the attack on Bruno (which the Dynasty voraciously DENIES) they will have justifiable recourse to reverse Steele’s decision and remove Rogers from the main event for good!



This brings out current XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who has a say in who he defends against… some brief stick work from Thesz puts over his disgust and disdain for Rogers, and utter delight he would get in breaking Rogers bones and putting him out of wrestling forever… the war of words escalates until Commissioner Steele and his boss Ed Lewis try a game of match-making one-upsmanship and make a tag team match for the main event tonight…

Buddy Rogers and his million dollar insurance policy Matt Morgan…



Versus

XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ…

And (returning from his vicious post match assault on XPW Online #11) EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!



Tonight!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **



** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **



The French Angel is alone in the boiler room area of the arena, in a wrestling match with his own thoughts and emotions… his turmoil reveals itself in the form of… a small stuffed teddy bear… Angel clearly has high hopes and expectations for this teddy bear, but instead quits on himself - stuffing the teddy bear in the trash can and angrily storming off, lamenting his horrible physical deformities with loud primeval roars as cameras fade out…


** CUT TO RING **

___________________________________________________________________________

BAM BAM BIGELOW (1988) versus BIG SHAD G (2010) w/ Sunny (1999)

versus w/

One of the most charismatic, fascinating, and exciting new young talents in the world of professional wrestling is Bam Bam Bigelow (1988)… fearsome in appearance and size, but with the mobility of a man much smaller, Bam Bam Bigelow is a stunning addition to the XPW Remixed ranks… but the million dollar question is who will Bam Bam pick as his manager?? Various coaches and trainers have been vying for his attention since his surprise debut at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… tonight’s opening segment starts backstage in the locker room, where Bam Bam (lacing up his boots for combat) is approached by the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble and his Whack Pack member Mondo Kleen… Rumble tries to persuade Bigelow to join his cause, but Bam Bam humorously (yet sternly) rebuffs him and dismisses them from his locker room… Kleen tries to psyche Bam Bam out with his wild-eyed stares, but Bam Bam doesn’t flinch and unblinkingly stares them out the door… DECLINED!

Cut to ring where Bam Bam gets his TV entrance… once he’s in the ring though, we’re greeted by the strains of “U KNO U WANT MEEEE!!!!” blaring through the speakers… enter TAMMY “SUNNY” SYTCH!… the flirtatious lil dumpling cuts an ego-boosting promo for Bam Bam, while being serenaded by chants of “CRACK WHORE!” by the appreciative and civilized XPW remixed fans… but before Bam Bam even has a chance to rebuff her, she changes her tune and chastises him for selling out the Triple Threat at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the verbal showdown leads to Sunny calling forth her NEW man, Big Shad G out from the locker room to defend her honor… the baggy jeans, Timberland boot, wife beater-wearing NYC hoodlum issues the challenge that Bam Bam quickly accepts, and we’ve got our first match… exciting power-based affair, with both guys coming off like roughnecks but Bam Bam also getting to throw his little cartwheels and half-moonsault spots… Sunny flirts and shakes her rear on the ring apron… Big Shad G misses the running boot… belly-to-belly suplex (like Shane Douglas) does followed by the top rope head butt seals the deal for Bam Bam Bigelow 1988 - the hottest free agent in the game!!!

Winner: BAM BAM BIGELOW



Post match, Sunny is outraged and takes that anger out on Bam Bam - pointing and screaming in his face… instead (with the crowd cheering him on) Bam Bam grabs her by the hair with one hand and prepares to kiss her deeply… but before he can, he’s blindsided by CHRIS CANDIDO (?) the stocky, platinum-blond fitness freak is clad in muscle-shirt and jeans and is wielding a steel chair! Two shots to Bam Bam’s back and a 3rd to his tattooed skull! Bigelow is down! Now Candido is pleading with Sunny, before Big Shad G gathers his wits and steps into the scene… Candido tries to placate him by graciously (and gratuitously) setting up Bam Bam Bigelow for a double team spot… Big Shad G and Candido work together to set up a table, but before they can do anything with it SHEAMUS makes the crowd-pleasing run in and save! Chris Candido goes through the table! Sheamus wins, driving the bad guys from the ring for good… Sheamus helps Bam Bam regain his senses while the fans chant for the Celtic warrior… fade out on Candido, Gaspard and Sunny’s distorted, angry faces as they retreat back up the aisle.



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **



___________________________________________________________________________

"JOKERS WILD #1"




Another vain, pretentious (Real) Kings of Wrestling celebratory vignette… the current Tag Team champions are arriving at a strip club in style, pulling up in their expensive luxury SUV (alongside their valet, and feature performer of the night, Jessica Darlin)… they even bully and yell at the valet, refusing to even let him touch their vehicle… The (Real) Kings of Wrestling party it up in the club, with a montage of extravagant and luxurious video clips to accompany them… but when they return curbside to find their luxury vehicle STRIPPED and sitting on cinder blocks, they explode in violent outrage! Darlin frets and whines whiles Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter shout and argue amongst each other… meanwhile cameras zoom in and fade out on a curious bumper sticker that’s been affixed to the rear of their stripped-down SUV…



The woes of the ghetto and rage of the inner-city is slowly beginning to permeate white middle and upper-class society…

** CUT **

***********************

"THE MEANING OF LIFE"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Generation ME members Matt & Nick Jackson are bitching and griping about their stock in XPW Remixed… I mean, they JUST beat world-class contenders Sami Callihan & Nick Mondo on the last Episode of XPW TV!!! What ELSE does GenME possibly have to do to prove themselves?… they are then interrupted by the loathsome, disgusting creature known as Thumbtack Jack who continues to try to befriend the two tag team pretty boys… but in typical, caustic GenME fashion - the two brothers diss and dismiss Thumbtack Jack and Death Match wrestlers until they leave him feeling like a scarred-up, disfigured, German freak… GenME exit stage left as Thumbtack Jack is left feeling alone and emotionally abandoned… even his awkward attempts to joke with GenME were framed by Thumbtack Jack’s weird interests and bizarre scarification subculture, something that very few people can actually relate to… least of all Generation ME in this case…




** VIDEO SEGUE **



"Sick" Nick Mondo vs Sami Callihan: 1st Blood Match! Next XPW Online!

The guerilla footage continues as we XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele walk by with his secretary Jasmine St Claire… cameras follow her round bottom until we emerge onto a set where “Sick” Nick Mondo is prepping for a promo… he’s offering a few taped comments to reporters, when backstage correspondent MSD approaches for an exclusive XPW Online interview RE: Mondo’s upcoming “First Blood” match with Sami Callihan (on the next XPW Online)… Nick Mondo once again alludes to his dark Cannibal Cartel past, while still pledging to right the wrongs of those sins… he’s trying to focus on wrestling, and validating his “Best of the Best” claim… but this draws the attention of Thumbtack Jack, still hovering in the peripheral of the scene… he tries to make another awkward joke about the superiority of Death Match wrestlers, but Nick Mondo no-sells the exchange to focus on his technical prowess - until once again, Thumbtack Jack has been dismissed and his life’s work (death match wrestling) swept under the rug… even more gregariously - it is being undersold by “Sick” Nick Mondo, one of the foremost performers in the genre’s history… Thumbtack Jack is obscured in the background as cameras continue to focus on Mondo’s interview… but it’s clear the anti-social German madman is deeply feeling the snub once more…

** FADE OUT **

** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **



Goofy Valentines Day related sketch with the pimptastic Human Tornado once again giving Curly Moe dating instructions for Valentines Day (Curly Moe for some reason is dressed up like a half-naked baby Cupid)… Weedman comes into the scene and hilarity ensues… In the end of the scene, Curly Moe winds up with that old Teddy Bear tossed into the trash earlier in the night by French Angel, and loves it unconditionally… meanwhile Human Tornado & Weedman wind up running off with some of the bikini-clad “Fluff Bowl“ participants for a puff bowl of their own…

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **



___________________________________________________________________________

SHANE DOUGLAS versus EDDIE GILBERT
(Dog Collar Match)

versus

The big blow-off match between former XPW Remixed Triple Threat members… video recap highlights their turbulent working relationship, including all their mishaps and miscommunications… and above all else: losses… this match is punishment for both men, and they both go hard and stiff… the crowd boos each man so loudly they wind up cheering when either one of them winds up getting really fucked up… both men bleed profusely as the dog collar keeps them tightly tethered, and the steel chain between them is used as a weapon… after a grueling, hard fought battle Shane Douglas winds up with a KO shot followed by a Pittsburgh Plunge for the clean pin… he’s still booed and littered with trash as he soaks in his own sweat and blood….

Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS

** CUT **

** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **

XPW Woman's division president AND champion Lizzy Borden is arriving... posh, glamourous, cell phones, sunglasses, paparazzi, the whole deal... none other than XPW President ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS is waiting for her at the arena, to speak with her directly... instead she brushes him off with a sense of self-importance, and says she's "too busy" to hear him out now... she's preparing for her big "Fluff Bowl" tonight... Fade out on Lewis' stoic expression as he is rebuffed and watches Borden sashay away, with one more simple message for the XPW President...



Courtesy of LIZZY BORDEN!

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

"A CALL TO DUEL"



Cameras catch up with Sammartino, still caked in dry blood in some ambulance somewhere… brief tough guy vignette filled with raw intensity as Bruno goes on to name his attacker and personally issue a word of warning - and vow of VENGEANCE… against doctors orders… against company wishes… against the world… Bruno Sammartino will be at “My Bloody Valentine II”… where he’s calling out his attacker to finish this once and for all… Bruno Sammartino versus… SAMOA JOE (!?!?!?)… Samoa Joe wanted competition! And it looks like he’ll get it at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!


WHY, JOE!?! WHY?!?

** CUT **

***********************

"JOKERS WILD #2"



We cut to another tag team championship vignette… this one finds Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter in another wild, voyeuristic voyage filmed in Reality TV style as they finally reach their arena dressing room to find it broken into! Jessica Darlin shrieks in horror as all her undergarments and lingerie have been used and desecrated…the locker room has been trashed by vandals, with graffiti all over the walls… then they find a simple riddle box sitting on the dressing room table - the only thing in the room not knocked askew… it has a question mark faded with time carved in the side… suddenly it POPS up, and a cackling little toy clown face startles you and makes the (Real) Kow jump - before snapping and smashing the toy and the rest of the locker room in rage!



The Riddle Box: which will be your fate?

** CUT TO RING **

___________________________________________________________________________

"SILENT SCREAMZ IN THE NIGHT..."

** BREAKING NEWS **



Cameras are backstage with life footage of an unconscious Mil Mascaras lying upon the Olympia locker room floor…. Paramedics huddle around him… much like the Tommaso Ciampa attack, the lights suddenly went black and the KO blow came unseen… cameras focus on that same mysterious symbol tagged on the locker room door as Mascaras is moved to a stretcher…




** CUT **




MSD is backstage with Jinder Mahal and his “Evil Empire”… intense promo angrily denying ANY involvement in the attack on Mascaras (or Ciampa prior)… it’s all racial profiling and Mahal and plays the injustice card for his camp… but now JOHN CENA has entered the picture!!! He verbally duels with Mahal over the allegations, and when Jinder Mahal’s men (Gama & Khali) step up - Olympia head coach “The Solid Man” WILLIAM MULDOON has the champs back! Semi-main event match is made for tonight: Cena vs. Great GAMA vs. Great KHALI in a Triple-Threat match! Jinder Mahal will pick up the pieces AND the Boston title at “My Bloody Valentine II” when the winner of tonight’s match picks the #1 contender!!! TONIGHT!

** FADE OUT **

*******************

"COMING SOON TO XPW REMIXED..."



The Famous, Fantastic, Fantasy-wrestling debut of the FABULOUS KANGAROOS

** CUT **

** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **

versus

Violent, profane East Coast bully the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble runs into his old WHACK PACK worker Curly Moe in the locker room… bullies and harasses the affable, Cupid-dressed weirdo while big Mondo Kleen bugs out in the background… Rumble winds up snatching the teddy bear away from Curly Moe before sending him on his way… just because.


** CUT TO RING **

___________________________________________________________________________

ANNIE SOCIAL versus TWO UNNAMED DIVAS
(“Valentines Day Lingerie” Match)

versus versus

This match came about after a backstage vignette with Lizzy Borden being verbally accosted by former champion Annie Social, demanding a rematch for the title… instead, Social was given this assignment - a “Valentines Day Lingerie” match against two leftover stripper/turned/wrestlers… enticing (if not a lil sloppy) affair that elicits cat calls, chants and cheers of appreciation from the testosterone-driven crowd… Annie Social has little trouble with either diva and smashes one with a sunset flip/power bomb for the pin. Social is on the house mic to revel in the lusty cheers of the crowd, tease them further, and angrily demand a rematch with Lizzy Borden…

Winner: ANNIE SOCIAL

… but before she can finish her rant, Annie Social is blindsided and attacked by TAMINA! The daughter of the Superfly and valet to the Cali Cripplers club gets the jump on Social and pounds her into the mat! A flying superfly splash from the top rope seals the deal and leaves Social writhing in pain on the mat! Announcers wonder what kind of arrangement Tamina must have with the Woman’s Division president for her to act on her behalf like this… Tamina is all smiles…



Superfly splash from Tamina!!!

** CUT BACKSTAGE **

LIZZY BORDEN's "FLUFF BOWL"



Lizzy Borden with her trophy championship belt, has gathered all the fishnet-stocking, lingerie-wearing apartment wrestlers before her… she goes over the rules of the “Fluff Bowl” (basically her demands, and orders for how it will progress)… whipped cream, pudding and jello will all be used… in an elaborate ceremony, the cage of balls is spun and Borden draws forth the ping pong balls with the name of her prospective opponent in the upcoming Fluff Bowl (drawn from an assortment of names like “Cherry”, “Passion”, “Champagne” and “Xtacy”)… instead, she draws the first ball - reads it with open eyes - before discarding the ball with disgust and drawing another… but she has the same reaction! She stares at the ball disbelievingly, before rummaging for another ball… same result!!! Borden starts flipping about tampering, when a stern male voice from the back of the room cuts off her tantrum… it’s XPW President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS! And he’s standing alongside Mildred Burke!!! Lewis has been patiently waiting to meet with Borden all night, but can’t wait any longer… Lizzy Borden can rightfully remove herself from ring action as XPW Woman’s division president… but she CAN’T back out of action as an XPW Woman’s division CHAMPION… therefore, Lewis is ordering Borden to defend her woman’s championship - at “MBVII” - in a real life “Fluff Bowl” aka “Steel Cage Match” - against the opponent named on her ping pong balls! Lizzy Borden screams and freaks out, knocking over the cage of balls. Lewis chortles to himself, and Mildred Burke simply smirks and stares down Borden with a look of righteous vengeance written upon her face! Cameras pan to the ping pong balls scattered on the ground, on all of which has been written in bold black marker “MILDRED BURKE”….



Mildred Burke versus Lizzy Borden in a Steel Cage match for the XPW Woman's championship!!!

Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!


** CUT **



***********************

"STATE OF THE XPW REMIXED UNION"



Cameras catch a tense stand-off as former business partners Jack Pfefer and The Grand Wizard come face to face backstage… they exchange a few ominous and threatening words, while their back-up muscles flex their worth (Dick Shikat over Pfefer’s shoulder while the Sheik lurks behind TGW)… Finally Gold Dust Trio Inc owners Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Joe “Toots” Mondt enter the scene, much to Pfefer & TGW’s chagrin… Lewis introduces the GDT Inc legal counsel who helped iron this whole thing out...

Introducing to XPW Remixed...

DAVID OTUNGA!



Attorney David Otunga notifies them the Commission has officially been DISBANDED as an ownership conglomerate, but with various wrestlers contracts under file it DOES still operate as a management agency… and with Buddy Rogers being cleared of the attack upon Sammartino earlier this evening, the main event championship match will go on as planned at “My Bloody Valentine II”… BUT… there is room enough on the XPW Remixed roster for ONE managerial license only! With a smirk and a grin, Lewis & Mondt leave that decision up to TGW & Pfefer to resolve themselves… Two men! One contract! Who will be the manager of champions and last member of the Commission left standing!!! Pfefer and TGW have the tense, fuming staredown as cameras fade out on the segment!!!



Once managerial liscense left! How will TGW & Pfefer decide who gets it??

***********************

"BEAUTY & THE BEAST"

versus

Disturbing, grainy backstage footage of the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble violently harassing his former valet Sami Lane… with the berserker Mondo Kleen lurking in the background, this scene has all the makings of a horror movie… but as Rumble wraps his hands around Lane’s wrists to shake her further, from the shadows a savior appears! The black-cloaked monstrosity lurches into action, clobbering Kleen and downing Rumble, all amidst Sammi Lane’s frantic screams! It is the FRENCH ANGEL, who’s Silent Film-era horror features are framed magnificently by the sparse lighting… he grabs Rumble around by his collar just long enough to utter a few ominous words (tinged with a French accent) and exaggerate his HORRIFYING facial features, before tossing Rumble from the scene! French Angel solemnly scoops the Teddy Bear up off the floor, un-crumbles the attached note and hands it, eyes down, to Sammi Lane… it is a Valentines Day poem and invitation for Ms. Lane to join the French Angel at “My Bloody Valentine II”! The Angel is still shy and timid, until Sammi Lane beams and embraces him - accepting his invitation... Sammi Lane & French Angel! The “Match Made in Heaven”! See you at “My Bloody Valentine II!”!!!



Happy Valentines Day from XPW Remixed!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

___________________________________________________________________________

** DEDICATION VIDEO **


Sheamus in the ring to start the segment - a special dedication to the late, great DANNO O'MAHONEY - throw to the video - unveil the statue - and cut another “old Irish tale” promo… builds towards dedicating this next match in Danno’s memory and throws out an open invitation, over-the-top-rope “IRISH WHIP” challenge… named after the wrestling maneuver that O’Mahoney created…



Sheamus has dedicated a statue to O’Mahoney in his homeland of Ireland.

This calls forth from the dungeons of wrestling… Thumbtack Jack (!?!?) That’s right, the scarred, disturbed little German cretin actually has the audacity to answer Sheamus’ challenge… Thumbtack Jack briefly retorts in half German/half English, but he seems to be announcing his reinvention here and trying to get some attention… instead, this elicit’s the rapid-fire sound effects of GUN FIRE through the arena sound system… enter the West Coast Crippler and real muthaphuckkin G B-BOY!!! The masked up, Cali gangbanger enters to put himself over at the expense of Thumbtack Jack and Sheamus, and ACCEPT the “Irish Whip Challenge!…” but THIS draws the sounds of police sirens, and we have our official party pooper of the evening - OFFICER CABANA!!!



SHEAMUS vs vs THUMBTACK JACK vs B-BOY vs OFFICER CABANA
("Irish Whip" Over-the-top-Rope Challenge)

vs vs vs

Cabana portrays the loud-mouth lawman with a bone to pick with every member of the audience over something... threatens to shut down the whole party, but instead gets sucked into the match... all 4 men brawl in the ring while announcers put over Sheamus' dedication and the importance of O'Mahoney to his homeland... Thumbtack Jack is the first eliminated when Sheamus pitches him over... followed by B-Boy... and shortly thereafter, Officer Cabana who is ejected from the ring by Sheamus (after an Irish Cross powerbomb) to huge cheers... Sheamus pounds his chest in victory, yells out "FELLLAAAA!!!!" and points to the sky...



Winner: SHEAMUS

Post match, Sheamus is handing out the last of the official Danno O'Mahoney autographed photos...



... when he's violently set upon and attacked by BIG SHAD G & Chris Candido!!! Sunny eggs them on as they jump Sheamus before powerbombing him through a table!!! Bam Bam Bigelow finally makes the run-in and save, but it's too late and the damage has been done... from the aisle, the now joyful trio of Sunny, Gaspard & Candido have a mic and announce their intentions: Tag Team Table Match @ "MBVII"!!!




Gaspard & Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam...
Tag Team Tables match!!!

Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **



___________________________________________________________________________

Honky Tonk Man's
"ICE CREAM PARLOR"

(w/ special guests the MIZ & Alex Riley)





[color=light blue]Host Honky Tonk Man introduces reigning 2x XPW TV Champion the MIZ who enters to cheers… in the following back-n-forth with Honky, Miz cements himself as a fan favorite and Television icon… but like any good host (IE: Jerry Springer), Honky Tonk Man has an uninvited guest to procure… enter ALEX RILEY (2010) and his girlfriend MISSY HYATT (1990)!!!



The rich, carefree, Trust Fund douche bags mock Miz and highlight their beat down of him on the last Episode of XPW TV… more snaky insider references from the two former Diamond Dynasty cohorts… Riley shows unreleased video footage of Miz’s title win over Officer Cabana at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the footage shows Miz procuring his old Diamond Dynasty Rolex watch after the match, and SMASHING it with the ring bell hammer to great crowd approval… Riley reminds Miz NOBODY just “leaves” the Diamond Dynasty… that’s why Jack Swagger fled North instead of facing their wrath…words and tensions escalate, TV title challenges, mixed-tag “Valentines Day” bouts… PPV payoffs… and we’ve got ourselves a championship bout at “My Bloody Valentine II”… Alex Riley AND Missy Hyatt, in inter-gender tag rules (a throwback to the original MBV hosted by XPW Remixed) versus the MIZ… and his mystery female partner… more spirited, TV-themed banter from the MIZ as he hypes up his chosen partner for the PPV… you never saw it coming… Ladies and gentlemen, from the KING of TV LAND… comes the MTV Queen and heart & soul of rock-n-roll…



WENDY RICHTER & Cyndi Lauper!!!

Straight out of 1985, the Queen of MTV Cyndi Lauper and Wendy Richter make their grand entrances, be-bopping to ringside and slapping hands along the way… Riley & Hyatt are outraged to see them, and immediately complain about it being unfair… instead, Lauper & Richter have some brief words for Hyatt & Riley, pledge their allegiance to Miz and TV land, and vow to do battle at “MBVII!!!”



WENDY RICHTER (and Cyndi Lauper) fight for their right to party alongside the MIZ at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!

MIZ & Richter (w/ Lauper) versus Riley & Hyatt for the TV title!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

___________________________________________________________________________

** BOSTON CHAMPIONSHIP **

JOHN CENA versus GREAT KHALI versus GREAT GAMA

versus versus w/


"WWE Champion" = XPW Remixed Boston Champion
"Umaga" = Great Gama


Winner (and STILL Boston Champion): JOHN CENA

Postmatch, Cena celebrates with the crowd while Jinder Mahal fumes and tears off his suit coat… the assumption is that Cena will end Mahal once and for all by challenging him to a fight at “My Bloody Valentine”… but instead, Cena swerves everybody by decreeing Mahal unfit to be granted a championship bout! Instead, Cena will pick his own #1 Contender at “My Bloody Valentine II”… and he picks…

WILLIAM MULDOON!

Mahal is outraged… Raisha Saeed starts a sneak attack on Cena, but William Muldoon (the “Solid Man”) quickly makes the run in and save… Cena & Muldoon clear out the ring, before having their dramatic staredown… they shake hands and Cena holds up the Boston championship belt to show the world what it’s all about. Real competition time!!!



John Cena versus William Muldoon for the Boston championship!!!

Only at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!


***********************

"JOKERS WILD #3 (the final reveal)"



In the final vignette, tag team champions (Real) Kings of Wrestling storm through a locker room enroute to finding the vandals who destroyed their own, when they come to twin doors, painted with odd demonic/heavenly figures… Suddenly the sprinklers in the locker room ceiling burst open and Faygo soda (!?) starts pouring down upon them… then in the confusion, the demonic door bursts open to reveal a bright light - enter ICP with the Juggalo Ninjas! Pondo & Necro Butcher absolutely savage the Real KoW with weapons, fists and blunt objects! All the while Jessica Darlin screams! The Juggalo Ninjas pose with the Kings fallen, bloody unconscious bodies like it’s a bad episode of “Weekend at Burnies”… but their intentions are clear! Juggalo Ninjas have the next championship shot! At “My Bloody Valentine II!!!”






The Juggalo Ninjas will challenge for the World Tag Titles!!!

Only at "My Bloody Valentine II!"!!!


***********************

** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE *

Humbled, broken and beaten Thumbtack Jack sulks silently… Generation ME walk by and mock him further… but as they’re walking away, Jack finally snaps… he follows them into the locker room where he can be seen wielding a SCALPEL…a horror movie / borderline dark comedy unfolds next as Jack corners the two pretty boys in the locker room, and ostensibly goes ballistic on them with the scalpel! Cameras can’t see through the walls, but through the crack of the door and the brutal sound effects and screams of Gen ME you can just imagine what horror and pain Thumbtack Jack is wreaking upon them right now!! A return to form for one of the most destructive, homicidal forces in Death Match wrestling!!!




Thumbtack Jack turns Trenchcoat Mafia and unleashes his fury upon his tormenters and bullies!!!

** CUT TO RING **
___________________________________________________________________________

LOU THESZ & EZEKIEL JACKSON
versus
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS & MATT MORGAN


versus

Main event entrances for all 4 men… Thesz & Jackson enter solo, Rogers & Morgan together… announcers talk about Rogers bribing his way back into the championship picture at “My Bloody Valentine II”… a desperate bid from some desperate men, as Jack Pfefer knows he’ll be out of luck if they can’t retain the XPW Championship… Thesz out-wrestles Morgan, Jackson out powers Rogers, and we go to commercial break… when we’re back, Rogers has taken over on Jackson (after a missed corner charge) and is working his leg and ankle… Announcers explain the “Wall of Stone” match between Jackson & Morgan at “MBVII” is similar to a tables match - first man to put his opponent through a STONE WALL wins the match… Fans chant for Thesz… and Jackson… everything breaks down and goes crazy when Thesz locks Morgan in an STF at the same time Jackson hoists Rogers up into a Torture Rack backbreaker… Diamond Dynasty members Alex Riley and Missy Hyatt make the run-in and the match turns into a schmozz… no finish.

Winner: NONE (No Contest)

Post match, a wild brawl breaks out… MIZ gets involved… Wendy Richter & Cyndi Lauper add some color and toss Missy Hyatt from the mix… Jackson & Morgan brawl all through the stands and backstage… but Rogers winds up clocking Thesz in the back of the head with the Championship belt!!! Rogers leaves up the ramp alongside his manager Jack Pfefer, pointing to his brain power as Thesz is left seething in the ring to end the show…

** FADE OUT **



___________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...



"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers

Bruno Sammartino (1975) versus Samoa Joe (2007)

** XPW Television Championship **
The MIZ & Wendy Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper) versus Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt
(Intergender "Valentine" Tag Team Match)

Big Shad G & Chris Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam Bigelow
(Tag Team Tables Match)

** XPW Tag Team Championship **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus Juggalo Ninjas (w/ ICP)
(Xtreme Rulez Match)

Ezekiel Jackson versus Matt Morgan III
("Wall of Stone" Match)

** XPW Woman's championship **
Lizzy Borden versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)

** XPW Boston championship **
John Cena (2012) versus William Muldoon (1887)


_________________________________________________________________________________



View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 2-23-2012 at 03:23 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #12

XPW ONLINE #12





Cut to the in-studio host for the show:


Sunny

Everybody wants to know about me & Big Shad G. And why Chris Candido did what he did to help us out on XPW TV Episode #36. That was one of the things I was very nervous about, because I haven’t seen him [Candido] since I left that company (Triple Threat). I didn’t know what to expect. I was in catering and all of a sudden someone taps me on my shoulder, I turn around and it’s him. Of course, I was like a deer in the headlights (Laughs). And he hugs me, kisses me on the cheek, said how great I looked. I tried to say the same thing about him without lying too much because he aged quite a bit since I saw him last (laughs at her "friend" "Lil Chrissy"). I was like, “Oh, you look the same.” And I’m thinking to myself, “No you don’t”(laughs). But he was very cool. Chris and I will always be friends.

** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"KING OF THE FN DEATH MATCH"



XPW Remixed speaks in broad emotions, not technical jargon. Entire transcripts of Nick Gage’s infamous balcony “shoot” promo (see XPW Online #11) are scarce to come by (or left up to the imagination entirely)… it’s based more upon the live emotion of the moment – a tangible electricity in the air that touched all who viewed the incident… Gage somehow managed to link the KotDM title to an underworld of Xtremism that consumes bodies, souls and lives… made the title seem bigger than life, and a birthright of his to take the World of Xtreme back from the evil foreign menace… that raucous, unpredictable, punk rock gangsta vibe continues tonight with this next segment… “The Future of Hardcore” and current KotDM “Interim” champion NICK FN GAGE makes his way to ringside (“For Whom the Bell Tolls” blaring, bandanna over his face, KotDM belt over his shoulder, and BLKOut crew bringing up the rear)…



Gage cuts a Part 2 promo in the ring, putting over the blood, sweat and tears of his Death Match forefathers and casting shame upon the evil foreign Sheik and his greedy manager The Grand Wizard… Gage rallies the fans against Sheik and TGW, and calls out the lame duck KotDM champion who is still on injured reserve… but instead of getting Sheik, we get “the Street Dog” JON MOXLEY!!!… the grimy punk saunters onto the main entrance ramp with the actual KotDM belt in his grip (stolen by Moxley from the Sheik himself - see XPW Online #11)…



Jon Moxley touts his own Xtreme passage through XPW Remixed, culminating with his bloody retirement of Terry Funk at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… if anybody deserves be known as the most hardcore muthaphuckker in fantasy wrestling and KING of the DEATH MATCH it’s JON FN MOXLEY!!! Gage answers him on the mic and gladly welcomes Moxley into HIS ring to finish this dispute once and for all! The crowd cheers and chants “XPW! XPW!” Ruckus, Sabian & Michael Tarver (the BLKOut crew) coalesce around the ring and encourage the chants and upcoming fight… but before Moxley can retort, we get the theme song for the Sheik!!! Enter the terrifying Syrian menace himself!!!



The Grand Wizard leads the charge and addresses that “criminal scumbag” Nick Gage and “no-good wannabe poseur” Jon Moxley jointly… For TGW, despite his absolute loathing for both men, he no longer wields the power of the Book here in XPW Remixed… but he knows someone who does! Enter XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele!!! The cocky, egocentric, suit and tie wearing Commissioner enters alongside his sexy secretary Jasmine St. Claire with a s***-eating grin… makes the following decree… Jon Moxley versus Nick Gage! “Interim” KotDM title match… winner faces Original Sheik to unify the titles when Sheik returns to action at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!! TONIGHT!!!

** King of the Death Match Championship (“Interim”) **

NICK GAGE versus JON MOXLEY


versus

We return from commercial break for the announcer intros, and the two men quickly engage in violent fisticuffs… the brawl escalates quickly and travels around ringside and through the fans… chants of “XPW! XPW!”… members of BLKOut linger around ringside but don’t get involved in the fight (but they do incite the crowd further)… Gage and Moxley beat the holy living Hell out of each other in a superficial effort to prove himself as the baddest Mfer in the hardest division in fantasy wrestling today… but it’s all for naught, as finally - with both men significantly weakened - The Grand Wizard unleashes the monstrous tandem of Abdullah the Butcher & Sheik upon Gage & Moxley, while XPW security tangle with BLKOut… set-up… Moxley & Gage are brutally savaged by Sheik & Abdullah; some parts of which must be cut or blacked out…

Winner: NO FINISH



OG Sheik proves why he's so fearsome, by reclaiming physical custody of his KotDM title belt from Jon Moxley - and leaving Nick Gage in a bloody heap.

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


******************


”THE SHOVEL, THE SICKLE, THE AXE”



Child molesting, rapist, serial killer Pogo the Clown

XPW TV vignette that occurs movie-style in the ghetto streets of Los Angeles. Heavy, off-color sketch that follows a homicidal New Jack as he rampages through a seedy, perverted bar to call out his former partner Pogo the Clown… When he finds Pogo the Clown he is engaged in something perversely horrific involving cheap hookers and barnyard animals… a violent, vicious, weapon-wielding war breaks out between New Jack & Pogo that destroys their surroundings… New Jack finishes with the sickle, but Pogo comes crashing back with a large fireman’s axe… New Jack fights dirty though and winds up hurling the 500-pound Pogo the Clown off camera and (ostensibly) over the balcony ledge… New Jack looks down at Pogos unmoving body lying in the wreckage, while shouting and cursing for the cameras.



New Jack is the OG of XXXTREEEEMEEE!!!!

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

BLKOut vs PG-13 w/ JTG
(6-Man Tag Team Madness)

vs

We’re back from commercial break and the chaos from the previous chapter has barely subsided… security and paramedics tend to Gage & Moxley, while The Grand Wizard and his men retreat up the aisle… the BLKOut crew is still in the ring amidst a sea of security straining to hold them back… at the top of the entrance ramp, TGW has a few more grating syllables for the fans - promising to stand alone as manager of champions in XPW Remixed… he’s hustled backstage… finally Sabian from the BLKOut crew gets hold of a mic and talks some trash… they want a fight TONIGHT (cheer)… but instead of a return of TGW and his men, we get… ”The Nation of Domination”? Enter hardcore white rap duo PG-13, and their getbizzywittit mentor Just That Gangsta! Lil Jamie Dundee (oh, excuse me: “JC Ice Baby”) has a few wack, offbeat limericks for BLKOut that sounds a mighty lot like a diss… which BLKOut do not take kindly to. Soon enough, JTG is leading his men to the ring, hyping up their act, before disappearing and leaving the lambs to the slaughter. Definitive squash match for BLKOut that loosely follows a tornado match. Really just an excuse for all 3 BLKOut members to get their most popular spots off - finishing with Mr. 1.9 Michael Tarver’s “Kill Shot” KO punch. BLKOut throw a hardcore Hip Hop celebration, and toss PG-13’s beaten bodies out of the ring, crowd-surfing style… BLKOut still bring the house down!

Winners: BLKOUT

Postmatch, XPW Remixed Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele gets to make another appearence and toss his weight around; ordering security to eject BLKOut from the building. Steele has worked himself up to "Excuse Me!" / "Can I Have Your Attention, please?" / Bischoff-era level crowd heat with his over-the-top, power mad and cocky Commissioner antics.



The on-screen Commissioner Damien Steele continues to run amuck.

** CUT **

****************

BREAKING NEWS
New stipulation added to main event title defense @ “MBVII”



With Jack Pfefer’s iron-clad negotiations, and Commissioner Damien Steele’s compliance, Bruno Sammaritino has effectively been REMOVED from his main event match against Lou Thesz @ “MBVII”… As a side bar, Sammartino HAS agreed to return to action however at “MBVII” in what is being billed as an “unsanctioned match” (to as skirt doctor requirements) in order to exact his revenge on Samoa Joe… But the #1 contendership was quickly snatched up by Pfefer’s champion and Diamond Dynasty crown jewel “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers - who will now face XPW Remixed title holder Lou Thesz at “My Bloody Valentine II”… in return for agreeing to this match however, Lou Thesz has specifically requested this bout be a “BEST 2 out of 3 FALLS” match! Thesz wants zero opportunity for griping and cheating, and has vowed the best man will win @ “MBVII”! This is another exclusive XPW Remixed classic, and will provide a vast and enriching look at the past and foundation upon which our fandom rests. MSD & XPW Remixed present “My Bloody Valentine II”… now featuring an exclusive excerpt from “The Untold Story of the Monopoly that Strangled Pro Wrestling”!

versus

** XPW Remixed Championship **

Lou Thesz vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers
(2 out of 3 Falls match)

** Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!! **

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

JUGGALO NINJAS (w/ ICP)
versus
LA COKA NOSTRA (aka "FBI") w/ the capo Tony Altomare


versus
*with*

Character building interlude between tuff-tawkin Tony Altomare and his disgruntled underlings La Coka Nostra (formerly “FBI”) leads to an “Italian Open Challenge” that’s answered by the soothing sounds of Insane Clown Posse… cue merciless, weapon-filled beat down upon La Coka Nostra (including the big lummox Sal Graziano) all to a banging rap soundtrack… Necro Butcher & MadMan Pondo get in, do their shtick, and get out… short and sweet. Necro Butcher puts their win over the top by dousing his OWN leg with lighter fluid - setting it ABLAZE - and launching himself from the top rope with a flaming leg drop upon (a T-shirt wearing) Lil Guido! A stunning visual that immediately elicits chants of “XPW! XPW!” The Juggalo Ninjas (hockey sticks and trash can lids in tow) pose alongside their mentors and mascots ICP….

Winners: JUGGALO NINJAS

But the whole thing is just a set-up for the eventual run-in of XPW Tag Team Champions the (Real) Kings of Wrestling!!! Austin Idol (1982) and Phil “Gunner” Shatter (2013) alongside their valet Jessica Darlin (2001) make the run-in, still wearing their stylish street clothes, and lay an UNHOLY beating upon the Juggalo Ninjas and ICP… the face-painted rappers are quickly disposed of with, by a simple chair shot and power bomb through a table to start… but the beat down that unfolds upon Pondo & Necro is just brutal in it’s horrific nature… disgusting, unprotected blunt shots that put Rock/Mankind/I Quit to shame… but just as it seems the cocky KoW will once again get their way and flaunt their victory… Pondo & Necro forget to stay dead… in what quickly comes to resemble a horror movie, or zombie flick, Pondo and Butcher KEEP GETTING UP from these horrific hits! Ring step power bombs! Barbed wire tables! Con-chair-toes (like the one that beat Sabian @ “(Another) New Years Revolution”)!!! But… the Juggalo Ninjas… won’t… stay… DOWN!!! They keep getting up like bloody, inhuman zombies until the Kings are just startled and disturbed enough to get up and retreat backstage - a blood-splattered Jessica Darlin alongside them - clutching their championship belts with an incredulous look upon their faces! Can the Juggalo Ninjas actually be STOPPED in an Xtreme Rulez match??? Find out at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!



MadMan Pondo don't give a PHUCKK!!!
And he'z comin for the XPW Remixed Tag Team titles @
"My Bloody Valentine II"!!!




Oh my, is that who I think I just saw??? If you're a wrestling fan (like ICP) you owe it to yourself to peep this video... how many timez must I ask myself why?

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"THE BATTLE FOR BAM BAM"



News update from HQ, as the recruitment of Bam Bam Bigelow is in full swing... thus far he's rebuked offers from everyone from Tony Rumble to Sunny, and (it's rumored) even the Shooters Club. Here, he even (loudly and aggressively) denies the German Ad Santel, the pimp Slick and the Russian Volkoff. Bam Bam has promised to reveal his choice in due time, but prefers to remain focused on the task at hand - the Tag Team Tables match he finds himself in @ "MBVII" alongside tag team partner Sheamus (2012).

** CUT **

********************

"A CALL TO DUEL"

Backstage correspondent has caught up with an irate Samoa Joe, for a few words regarding his arrival here in XPW Remixed, his undefeated streak, and brutal attack on Bruno Sammartino on XPW TV Episode #36…



MSD: Why Bruno??



SAMOA JOE: I'll have Bruno in the ring, and when I throw him out of the ring, then he gets thrown to the wolves, and Bruno doesn't do too well around wolves. He's not going to fare much better when he's in there with me, so it's not a great situation to be in. The response [of my attack] was overwhelming, believe it or not. I’m sick of being held back, and I targeted Sammartino because he’s the figure head of the conspiracy against me!!!

MSD: Both of you share a very similar style, how do you think you match-up against Sammartino?

SAMOA JOE: I believe in simplicity. Where some people in XPW Remixed take the high-flying back flip route, I'll replace that with a punch or a nice kick square to the face. I don't think violence is complicated. It's a very simple affair, it's a very direct affair, and I believe that's how people like it. That's where I get my style. Besides, when you have thousands of fans chanting at you to murder someone, it gives you pretty good incentive to do just that.

MSD: A lot of people have noted you may have the advantage over Bruno in the striking category…

SAMOA JOE: There is definitely a Japanese influence on my style. I spent several years back and forth training over there, training at the New Japan Dojo in Los Angeles and picking up various techniques from wherever I go. I've been to Germany, Japan, and I try to take some of the best moves I've learned from around the world and incorporate it as my own.

MSD: How do you envision your match with Bruno ending at “MBVII”?

SAMOA JOE: The choke. It's nice, simple, effective, and can put anybody out. Nobody is immune to it. It sucks to be in.

MSD: What made you decide to come to XPW Remixed, and take such a militant stance?

SAMOA JOE: If you want a company that's your own, you need to make your own stars. You have to let those stars rise on their own, and at the same time bring in people from other companies to help further along that process and help out. But if you're just bringing people in to be brought in, then you're just spinning your wheels and you're not really focusing on the wrestlers you need to focus on. And at “MBVII” – when I choke out Bruno Sammartino – I will be the man you need to focus on!!!

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

"AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted"



** Scene starts in the Cali Cripplers locker room where the head coach Ad Santel (fresh from being turned down by Bigelow) is having it out with his most defiant pupil, B-Boy… the German hooker Santel laces into B-Boy with a venomous tongue; lambasting him for not following orders (specifically, his unauthorized answer to Sheamus’ “Irish Whip Challenge” on XPW TV Episode #36)… with the Uso’s and Tamina looking on, fellow Cali Cripplers member (and perpetual butt kisser and teachers pet) Adam Pearce joins Santel in heaping on the verbal abuse - until B-Boy finally hears enough and snaps… he angrily goes off, South Central LA-style on the old school savants Ad Santel & Adam Pearce, ending with a double-bird salute that offends and enrages all. B-Boy is OUT! This n**** is goin SOLO!



B-Boy is like Ice Cube going solo from N.W.A.!

** CUT TO RING **

DRAKE YOUNGER & HAVANA PITBULLS
versus
USO's & ADAM PEARCE


vs
*** with coaching by ***

Cut to ring where we get the entrance of Ad Santel and his Cripplers team to join the Havana Pitbulls who are already in the ring… but before the competition can begin, we get the entrance of XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS!!! Displaying the continued friction between himself and his chosen Commissioner Damien Steele, President Lewis over-rules Steele’s decree last week to make this a handicap match… instead President Lewis evens the odds by introducing Shooters Club coach Dan Severn (who has a few choice words for Ad Santel) and the Pitbulls partner for the night - DRAKE YOUNGER! Cue entrance of the “Psycho Shooter”, complete with Kendo stick twirling in his fingers to a big crowd pop. Santel and his team are outraged over the decision and complain vehemently -but there’s little they can do once the bell rings… exciting 6-man tag match that highlights the stiff, underbelly of XPW Remixed action… announcers discuss B-Boy’s dismissal from the Cali Cripplers and Bam Bam Bigelow’s rejection of their invitation… segues to Bam Bam & Sheamus’ tag team table match @ “MBVII”, with Striker surmising that the “Battle for Bam Bam” might be the distraction that derails their team permanently… At ringside, Ad Santel shouts instructions but rival coach Dan Severn prevents him from taking a more physical approach… announcers remind you that the Shooters Club has Lou Thesz’ back, so don’t expect an interference finish in his match with Rogers @ “MBVII”… expect a definitive finish to their decades-long feud… Tamina interferes by grabbing an ankle of her opponent, but winds up getting ejected from ringside by the referee… but on her way back up the entrance ramp (still cussing and complaining), Tamina is blindsided from the rear by ANNIE SOCIAL! The North Killadelphia hood chick goes white trash ballistic on Tamina - revenge for the Superfly splash she suffered on XPW TV Episode #36... With a cat fight on the entrance ramp - small fights breaking out amongst rowdy fans in the crowd - and the Uso’s suitably distracted inside the ring - Adam Pearce winds up getting caught with a stiff crescent kick from Younger that sends him right into a Havana Pitbulls double team finisher (like a Demolition Decapitation, but with a flying double knee drop instead of an elbow) for the pin. The Havana Pitbulls and Shooters Club stand victorious in the ring, as the Cali Cripplers argue amongst themselves.

Winners: HAVANA PITBULLS & DRAKE YOUNGER



Annie Social leaves with a chunk of Tamina's hair in her hand...

** CUT **

"COMING SOON TO XPW REMIXED..."



The Famous, Fantastic, Fantasy-wrestling debut of the FABULOUS KANGAROOS

** CUT **

**********************


"BREAKING NEWS"
(Jinder Mahal's "Evil Empire" banned from appearing at PPV)



Due to their recent actions (and assault upon Muldoon @ "Another) New Years Revolution") - along with their recent losing streak and general combustability - the Evil Empire have been BANNED from appearing at the PPV! With Jinder Mahal denied a title match by Cena, there is no match opening - and therefore no reason for any member to be in the building. Of course Mahal blames racist politics and will complain long and loudly about this slight...



The Evil Empire has been unjustly persecuted!!!

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

DANNY HAVOC



Welcome to the online ("not a fucking") blog by XPW Remixed Fantasy Superstar Danny Havoc... (aka "a reprint of all his awesome web rants"). Tonight, the the 3rd episode...

"I HATE WHEN GHETTO YOUTHS GET INSPIRED..."

Okay, look, I recognize the fact that this has nothing to do with wrestling, but then, I'm a pretty lousy wrestler, so I suppose it's a good thing that I have other interests. Seeing as this is my website, at least until XPW Remixed.com deems it too fucking stupid to host anymore, I am opting to post whatever the hell I feel like on here, from this day forth.

Today I am going to be sharing with you my opinion on what I feel is a very obnoxious cliche in hollywood, over the last few years. The cliche of which I speak is this; ghetto teens which society has deemed "lost causes" being inspired by take-no-crap teachers/God/music/dance/cheerleading/fake nuns (take your pick). I swear to God, if I see one more preview for a movie where a group of young "gangbangers" and/or "hoodlums" have their lives turned around and are given meaning, focus, drive, and morality by someone who "believes in them, when no one else would" I'm going to fucking shoot my dog.

Admittedly, I may be speaking a bit biasedly here, as I've never been to the ghetto, but it's my opinion that people who live in the ghetto really ought to stay there and succumb to the moral decay and crime that a life of poverty lends itself to...I'm sick and tired of teachers or dance coordinators who take it upon themselves to try to save these kids, by inspiring them to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. I love a good musical as much as the next guy, but I'll be goddamned if the power of song, dance, or basketball makes me want to stop smoking crack and committing "drive-bys." It's unrealistic, it's sappy, and it pisses me the fuck off.

This trend has been going on for a very long time now, in Hollywood. The recent release of the film "Take the Lead" a movie in which Zorro prevents crime in an impoverished, inner-city neighborhood by teaching promising young drug kingpins how to dance, ballroom-style, was the inspiration for today's rant, but it certainly was not the first such film to aggravate me. It's only the latest in a long line of cinematic fecal matter with (essentially) the same storyline. Let's take a moment to look back over the history of this one film, which has been made and re-made time and again, with different actors. Just off-hand, I recall:

Dangerous Minds (Damn, that makes me remember how much I miss Coolio), Sister Act II ("You down with G-O-D?"), Coach Carter (Has Samuel L. Jackson ever been in a good movie?), and "Hardball" ("My Name...IS NEO!" Oh...wrong film...). There're a million more, many of which (sadly) I've seen, but to try to think back over them all now might depress me to the point of suicide.

Similar films include "Remember the Titans" (not exactly the same, but I do hate it when kids learn lessons through sports), "Save the Last Dance" (another movie in which young people who might've had promising careers as murderers or rapists are corrupted by the power of dance), and "You Got Served" (Okay, I've never actually seen this movie, but the preview told me all that I needed to know...After initially falling in love with the art of breakdancing in 1984's Mr. T film, "Be Somebody...Or Be Somebody's Fool" I didn't think that anything could ever make me hate it...I was wrong).

Anyway...what I guess I'm saying is, I really wish that Hollywood would stop bothering inner-city youths, and just let them grow up in the fashion that God intended; shooting, mugging, and raping one another. I refuse to believe that anybody apart from pre-teen suburban white girls are inspired by any of this insipid stupidity, and it's really irresponsible (in my opinion) to give these children the idea that it's safe to wander into the ghetto alone, armed with nothing but a boombox, a "Club mix" CD, an arsenal of dance moves, and a heart full of "Caring and Understanding"; for their fellow human beings...they're going to get gang-raped and killed. I'm just saying...

** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________


"LIZZY'S LEGAL FIX"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Office skit with Woman’s Div Pres LIZZY BORDEN meeting with head of the GDT Inc legal counsel DAVID OTUNGA… as it turns out, Lizzy Borden has some special provisions drawn into Mildred Burke’s contract when she signed her to appear for XPW Remixed… one of those caveats actually prohibits Mildred Burke from competing against other females in sanctioned competition!!! That means Lizzy Borden DOES NOT have to defend her XPW Remixed Woman’s Championship at the PPV!!! Lizzy Borden is delirious with giddiness over her close-call, but Attorney David Otunga breaks her the bad news - the “Steel Cage” match against Burke at “MBVII” is considered “unsanctioned”! Therefore she may be able to escape having to defend her title… but she can’t escape from the match! Lizzy Borden will be TRAPPED in a steel cage at “My Bloody Valentine II”, with Mildred Burke thirsting for vengeance!!! Lizzy Borden screams and flails about in a tantrum, while Otunga just fixes his bowtie and sips his coffee!!!



David Otunga: Head legal counsel for GDT Inc


******************

"Corporate Downsizing"



The Commission falls at "MBVII"

TGW & Jack Pfefer (with their respective camps, minus Buddy Rogers) have another tense run-in backstage... the Commission contract is up once and for all at "MBVII", with only one managerial liscense remaining... TGW & Pfefer have decided upon a "gentleman's agreement" to their quarrel - whoever wins their title match at "MBVII" will have proven themselves as a managerial genius, and the most worthy of the last liscence and contract... both TGW & Pfefer have some snarky, condescending words for each other about who will prevail at "MBVII"... when their little tete-a-tete is cut off by GDT Inc owners ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS & JOE "TOOTS" MONDT! A few more added provisions to thier PPV encounters.... Jack Pfefer is offically BANNED from ringside during the main event title fight! So Buddy Rogers must beat Thesz all on his own without any interference! Pfefer is outraged while TGW smirks like a cocky prick... but Lewis isn't finished with his decrees... he knows TGW thinks he's so clever for orchestrating that set-up and beatdown on Gage & Moxley earlier tonight (hoping out of a title match entirely at "MBVII", and his man The Sheik will simply retain his KotDM title by default)... but instead, The Sheik will be returning to action to defend his title against BOTH men in a Triple Threat match!!! TGW is shocked and outraged!!! But when a bloody, beaten, yet unbroken Nick Gage and Jon Moxley show up on the scene - TGW & the Sheik flee!!! Nick Gage (holding his "Interim" KotDM belt) and Jon Moxley have the intense staredown to end the segment...



Gold Dust Trio Inc has ruled.


**********************

"CORPORATE PHRASE OF THE DAY"



We wrap up our trilogy of backstage management vignettes, with a frazzled Commissioner Damien Steele having it out in the hallway with GDT Inc legal counsel David Otunga… Damien Steele (alongside his sizzling secretary Jasmine St Claire) is justly indignant over XPW President Ed Lewis blatantly overriding Steele’s authority by adding Drake Younger to the Uso’s/Pitbulls match. But GDT Inc legal consel David Otunga reminds Steele of the corporate hierarchy that he willingly embraced when he became Commissioner – and that makes Ed Lewis the (now undisputed) #1 in charge. There’s no more playing the fence between GDT Inc and the now-defunct “Commission”... but “OFF the record” (Otunga leans in conspiratorially to Steele) , Otunga has a few words for Steele about an upcoming business venture (spearheaded by Otunga of course) that’s about to overtake XPW Remixed… he cryptically encourages Damien Steele to “stay in focus”…




** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________________

** MAIN EVENT **


"JAPW" = XPW Remixed

SAMI CALLIHAN (2012) versus "SICK" NICK MONDO (2002)
(First Blood Match)


versus

XPW Remixed as a whole is an amalgamation of styles ranging from the comedic to the sublime (to the downright horrific)… to some, it is akin to a bad acid trip… to others who have mastered that high, it is an exhilarating, life-altering experience… Here, the tradition of timeline “Dream Matches” continue with the mouth-watering, fantasy feud of Sami Callihan (2012) and “Sick” Nick Mondo (2002)… two hardcore, underground, CZW legends who have had fantasy wrestling fans captivated with their rivalry ever since they first locked up in XPW Remixed’s “Best of the Best 1” Tourney (see XPW Online #8)… Since his victory in that tournament, “Sick” Nick Mondo has seemingly turned a new leaf - focusing more on his high-flying, aerial tactics rather than brute Death Match ultra-violence… but this has seemingly drawn the resentment of “The New Horror” Sami Callihan,… Callihan took exception to Mondo’s victory over him with a violent switchblade attack (see XPW Online #11)… eerie promo from Callihan to open the segment, before a video recap of his & Mondo’s rivalry over some crazy Death Metal music… main event entrances and ring introductions for both men… action is hot and heavy right out the gate, and the intensity does not subside… both men brawl in and out of the ring, using various ringside accessories as weapons… but still no blood… we get stiff with the suplexes and strikes, before the climatic moment when Sami Callihan finally unleashes his switchblade knife… they do a host of teases with the knife, with both men getting a chance to threaten with it… but when the brawl reaches the top of the entrance ramp… “Sick” Nick Mondo is about to bust Callihan’s head open with a heavy weapon, when THUMBTACK JACK appears from the shadows to interfere! The German maniac SMASHES a fluorescent light tube across Mondo’s bare back, collapsing him to the entrance ramp in pain where a torrent of blood begins to spill from Mondo’s back wounds…. Thumbtack Jack just smirks cruelly at his actions and slinks back into the shadows… match stoppage on account of blood.



Winner: SAMI CALLIHAN

Callihan soaks in his victory (and the bloodshed of his enemy Nick Mondo), but still isn’t satisfied with the carnage… he sneak attacks Mondo and continues to pulverize him, long after the match is over… a series of violent maneuvers, climaxing with a brain buster on a steel ring step leaves Mondo an unmoving, twitching mess… and completely unprotected and vulnerable to Sami Callihan’s upcoming switchblade knife attack… with madness in his eyes, Sami Callihan is about to carve Mondo up like a Thanksgiving turkey… when suddenly the lights out and the entire arena is momentarily pitched into DARKNESS… when they return, a white spotlight has fallen before Callihan… revealing the silent, shadowy and stoic form of THE MESSIAH!!!! Huge crowd pop at his arrival, and the Savior of Xtreme goes hardcore on a stunned Sami Callihan! Cross Factor! GodSmack! Messiah takes over the ring before grabbing a mic and laying it out for the fans… in the following promo, Messiah likens the Xtreme lifestyle to a “sickness” and he supports those who attempt to overcome this cycle of violence (like Mondo)… but Messiah promises to continuing PUNISHING those who revel in the sin of sadomasochism and torture!!! Climaxing with the defeat of an ultra-violent ambassador in Sami Callihan! Messiah wants the “New Horror” in a PPV match at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!… in a “Razor’s Edge Match”!!! (switchblade knife suspended over the ring, first man to get a ladder and retrieve the weapon can use it on their opponent)!



The Messiah will teach Sami Callihan the meaning of XXXTREEEEMEEE at "MBVII"!!!

** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...



"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"

(Final Card)

** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers
(2 out of 3 Falls Match)

Bruno Sammartino (1975) versus Samoa Joe (2007)

** XPW Television Championship **
The MIZ & Wendy Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper) versus Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt
(Intergender "Valentine" Tag Team Match)

Big Shad G & Chris Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam Bigelow
(Tag Team Tables Match)

** XPW Tag Team Championship **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus Juggalo Ninjas (w/ ICP)
(Xtreme Rulez Match)

Ezekiel Jackson versus Matt Morgan III
("Wall of Stone" Match)

Lizzy Borden versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)

** XPW King of the Death Match championship **
Nick Gage vs Original Sheik vs Jon Moxley

The MESSIAH versus "The New Horror" Sami Callihan
("Razors Edge Match")

** XPW Boston championship **
John Cena (2012) versus William Muldoon (1887)


____________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

SUNNY: Baltimore Sun interview
SAMOA JOE: IGN Sports interview (2006)
DANNY HAVOC: http://dannyhavoc.tripod.com/id31.html




[Edited on 2-23-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 2-27-2012 at 08:55 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
MY BLOODY VALENTINE II PPV

This PPV can be viewed here:

http://www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=26134





Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!

BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING is back...

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 3-11-2012 at 01:40 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #37



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

** Recap of “MBVII”, including Lou Thesz' 5-Star title defense against “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers, John Cena overcoming William Muldoon and Sammartino downing Samoa Joe in hellacious battles, and the debut of a NEW debutante of Lizzy Borden’s XXXtreme Woman’s div! With hearts broken and new alliances forged, we’ve come to a renaissance period in XPW Remixed. A time of unparalleled growth and widespread acclaim. Yet with the management company of XPW Remixed effectively HALVED with the disintegration of the Commission, XPW Remixed has promised a “spring cleaning” tour of its own. All culminating in what could quite possibly be the GRANDEST undertaking in XPW Remixed history… a 2-night, epic-level “FALLOUT FESTIVAL” PPV!! A real life wrestling version of Woodstock! Coming late March! BRACE YOURSELF!!!

** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

"CHAMP CHOOSES THE CONTENDER"



"The value was not in the title, but in Rogers defeating me for the title. And it was worth a hell of a lot more than $25,000. It was a power play and I was hot for years for even considering it."

Show opening entrance from XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ. In-ring promo from the champ, putting aside his hard-fought victory at MBVII and moving on to the next challenge. He calls out another man who had a big victory at MBVII – and the man who had his rightful #1 contendership yanked away from him… BRUNO SAMMARTINO. Thesz calls out Bruno to offer him next shot at the title at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!



Enter Bruno Sammartino, fresh off his exciting victory at MBVII… not too many words from the Italian Strongman, but he’s MORE than happy to oblige Thesz’ request for a title shot – and begrudges Thesz the respect of calling him out in the first place. This is a fantasy wrestling fans DREAM MATCH that’s been festering, bubbling and boiling for over 40 years… but before Sammartino & Thesz can cement the partnership (something the crowd obviously wants to see, as they went absolutely ballistic when the specter of Thesz vs Sammartino was raised)… they are interrupted on the mic by a violent force from the future!!



Enter SAMOA JOE!!! The angry, volatile Samoan Submission machine still has a bone to pick with Sammartino, as Joe is NOT satisfied with how the match unfolded… he exchanges some very harsh threats with Bruno, but before violence can erupt… we are cut off by the triumphant sounds of Celtic music (?!?)



Enter SHEAMUS! He enters the arena amongst his congregation, showing up in the crowded balcony section of the fans… he is wildly embraced by the people as he addresses the gathering of legends with a bird’s eye view… He cuts a brief promo putting over his mission (Sheamus = also victorious at MBVII), saluting the Irish fighting spirit, and challenging Lou Thesz to an XPW Championship title match!!! (big crowd pop)



FINALLY to infuse some sense of order into these Wild West, gunslinger proceedings comes XPW Remixed owner (and GDT Inc president) ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS… he addresses all the men on the mic, acknowledges their respective grievances, and makes a formal ruling: #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH TONIGHT.


BRUNO SAMMARTINO… versus SAMOA JOE… versus SHEAMUS… versus THIS man in a Fatal 4-Way bout…



JOHN CENA!!!

The reigning XPW Boston champion get his surprising entrance to a HUGE crowd pop (that tapers off into small pockets of “Cena sucks” chants; still not too much to acknowledge)… From the head of the table, high atop the entrance ramp, Cena addresses the fans and his opponents with a rousing promo that climaxes with him raising his Boston championship high aloft to meet Lou Thesz’ XPW World title!!! All the while Sammartino & Joe exchange death glares and Sheamus stares down hard upon the ring! We’ve got a massive #1 Contenders Fatal-4 Way match TONIGHT!!!



__________________________________________________________________________

JINDER MAHAL (2013) w/ Raisha Saeed
versus…
MIL MASCARAS (1975)!!!


w/ versus

Back from commercial break and we’ve got the entire Evil Empire positioned in the ring… with an action-ready Jinder Mahal in the center (mic in hand) he is surrounded by Raisha Saeed, Great Gama & Great Khali… Jinder Mahal cuts another venomous half Punjab/half English promo that gets the crowd booing loudly… complains about being banned from the MBVII PPV over racist politics etc… serious gripes, grievances, legal threats… Jinder Mahal references the 4-way face off earlier and DEMANDS action tonight!!! He is answered by the loud sudden BLAST of pyro and music… re-introducing MIL MASCARAS (1975!) Returning from action after his mysterious ninja-star assault he is out with a flash to meet Mahal head-on… Mascaras is in control as the match starts hot and heavy, and Great Gama & Khali even wind up getting ejected from ringside (after eating a HUGE Mascaras flying body press from the top turnbuckle to the floor that elicited loud “XPW! XPW!” chants)… another reason for Mahal and men to complain of unfair practices… Mascaras and Mahal go back and forth, with Jinder trying to target Mascaras’ previously injured arm with his armbreaker finisher, but being unsuccessful… after a series of counters and reversals, Mascaras winds up leaping to the top rope off an Irish-whip attempt from Mahal, and CRUSHING the Punjabi royalty with a flying body press! Mascaras gets the clean 3 count in the center of the ring! Mahal is incredulous, and complains loud and long about being “unprepared” for the fight tonight…



Winner: MIL MASCARAS


***********************

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Shane Douglas is caught in the locker room giving a royal tongue lashing to Tammy “Sunny” Sytch… he’s absolutely verbally BLASTING her (as only Shane Douglas could) about her time in the Triple Threat and treatment of Chris Candido… as she cowers from him, this of course summons Sunny’s NEW boyfriend Big Shad G to the scene… but before he can finish barking out “what’s going on in hea--???”… Shane Douglas punches him in the mouth! A quick, violent brawl erupts between Douglas and Gaspard with Sunny’s hysterical screams in the background… and Shane Douglas actually lays the smackdown on Shad G, finally laying him out by slamming his head in a locker door… Shane has some final words for Sunny, but she warns him right back… she knows what he’s so pissed about, and why he came to XPW Remixed in the first place… and she knows of somebody from Douglas’ past that will KEEP him in his place!... Douglas and Sunny have a tense stare-off before Shane storms out of the locker room and Sunny crouches down to tend to Big Shad G…



** CUT TO ARENA **

__________________________________________________________________________

”BATTLE FOR BAM BAM”
(The final conclusion)



Backstage correspondent MSD has the side-stage set up for this next segment… He does a quick hype segment ala “Mean” Gene Okerlund/Jeremy Borash, before introducing “the most coveted free-agent in Fantasy Wrestling today” BAM BAM BIGELOW (1988)… the flame-covered behemoth enters the arena to a big pop, but still does not look very happy… MSD catches him for a few easy softball questions, keeping it light and the talking (or rather, “aggressive, forced shouting like a fat kid throwing a tantrum") from Bigelow to a minimum… finally the grand reveal… Bam Bam Bigelow has declined every managerial mind in the known universe in order to sign with…

”WILD” RED BERRY (!?!?) (Who??)



Enter a lithe, sly little evil with a derby hat and a cane. The pompous, smarmy bastard irritates immediately, and takes a stance next to MSD (shaking Bam Bam’s hand in the process). MSD seems surprised to see him, and asks – “for the uninitiated would you please introduce yourself to the XPW Remixed audience”? Red Berry is the name, “Wild” is the catch phrase. Manager extraordinaire, and from his posh, decadent (and multisyllabic) debut he is a clear forefather of energetic wordsmiths like TGW, Paul E. Dangerously & Jim Cornette… and his vast, cerebral vocabulary reminds you of WWF NewGeneration-era Bob Backlund. For example, here’s an excerpt of “Wild” Red Berry describing the devastation his singles superstar Bam Bam Bigelow will wreak in XPW Remixed:

“"Bam Bam Bigelow will proceed to maltreat and obliterate them!!! I will turn loose such terrific voltage and velocity and elliptical trajectory that when it lands on the cleft of the chin it will tear loose their medulla oblongata from the pericardium, cure them of chronic dandruff and knock out four of their impacted wisdom teeth!!."



Suddenly – “Written in My Face” blasts through the arena sound system… enter SHEAMUS (2012)!!! Now, dressed for combat, Sheamus enters with a smirk – soaks in the crowd applause – and takes a stand on the side-stage with MSD, Bam Bam & “Wild” Red Berry… Sheamus is at his cocky, condescending, underestimating finest… going toe-to-toe with one of “Wild” Red Berry’s big worded monologues with one of his patented charming ol’ Irish tales… Sheamus good naturedly ribs and needles his partner and “big fella” Bam Bam Bigelow over his choice of such an underwhelming, spindly little nobody to be his manager… Sheamus mocks all the noise and hype over the “Battle for Bam Bam” ending with this anticlimactic reveal – “Wild” Red Berry going over like a “wet fart in church”. Sheamus bullies an indignant Berry a little further, before swinging momentum back into his own favor – engaging the crowd – and getting them to chant and cheer for Sheamus’ participation in the main event #1 Contender bout tonight! Sheamus = next XPW Remixed champion! He claps Bigelow on the back good humouredly (indicating he’s just joshing about his choice of manager) and leaves the set. “Wild” Red Berry is practically trembling with anger of being upstaged, as Bigelow looks on forlornly (perhaps regretting his decision?)



Sheamus is in the Fatal 4-way #1 Contenders match TONIGHT!

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

"RESIGNATION OF THE QUEEN"

Cue Lizzy Borden’s theme song… the current XPW Remixed Woman’s champion AND Woman’s Div Pres enters XPW arena in shambles… With the crutches, neck brace and dark sunglasses covering her bruises and black eyes, she looks like a domestic violence victim (a reminder of her run-in with Mildred Burke @ “MBVII”)… behind Borden rises up a mammoth, colossal specimen of the female species – CHYNA UNLEASHED! This is 2012 Chyna, fresh off the set of her latest Royal Rumble-themed porn shoot, and still trying to get at VKM JR on twitter… she’s crazed, and the way she strides to the ring beside Lizzy Borden you know she’s here in XPW Remixed for a reason…



In the ring, we’re greeted by a quick whiny promo from the (clearly) injured Lizzy Borden… the Woman’s Championship has been too much of a burden for her crown to bear (Solie & Striker surmise when the belt became more than a vanity title she wanted nothing more to do with it)… therefore Lizzy Borden – using her power as Woman’s Division President – is herby relinquishing the XPW Remixed Woman’s Championship… to CHYNA! In an elaborate, over-the-top gift giving session, Lizzy Borden exchanges the championship belt with Chyna like it’s an episode of “The View”… Chyna now gets the mic for her first official mission statement in XPW Remixed… slightly off-kilter rambling about “one more match” and being crowned the true “Queen of XXXtreme” that is thankfully cut off by… none other than XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS! (alongside GDT Inc legal counsel David Otunga)!!!



Lewis & Otunga remind Lizzy Borden about the legal technicalities involved in relinquishing a championship (even citing the Hogan/Andre/Dibiase incident from WWF 1988)… over rule her decision… declare her fit to compete… AND order an impromptu title defense right now! Lizzy Borden and Chyna have steadily grown angrier with each decree before exploding at the last demand! The crowd is now going rapid for action and Chyna is calling out to the entrance curtain, almost daring somebody to step out and catch a beatdown… the hobbled Lizzy Borden tries slinking out of the ring, but before she can... ANNIE SOCIAL slides in the ring from the rear!!!


** XPW WOMAN’S CHAMPIONSHIP **



LIZZY BORDEN versus ANNIE SOCIAL

vs

A blast from the past as the Killadelphia PA hood chick Annie Social (dressed in cargo pants and a tight wife beater) snatches Lizzy Borden up unawares from the rear and compresses her on the back of a neck with a crushing German Suplex w/ bridge for the pin! Before Chyna can even realize what’s happening, Annie Social has rolled out of the ring already and grabbed HER XPW Remixed Woman’s championship belt back!!! Borden is left practically crying on the mat… Chyna storming around the ring with rage in her eyes… Annie Social celebrating with the fans and cussing at Chyna & Borden (telling Lizzy “I told you so, bitch!!!”)… but President Lewis ain't done yet....

Winner (and NEW XPW Remixed Woman’s Champion): ANNIE SOCIAL



Lizzy Borden is officially FIRED as XPW Woman's Division president!!! And since Chyna is still "thirsting for action", he's taken the liberty of delivering her first XPW Remixed match-up. And since we're still not sure if Chyna is male or female, it shouldn't be a legal issue (big pop at the insult)!!! Because Chyna's opponent at the Fallout Festival technically can't legally compete against other females (the result of a twisted contract written by Lizzy Borden herself)... enter MILDRED BURKE!!! The diminutive (yet solid steel) vixen wants a fight with Chyna! And just to make absolutely sure Lizzy can't weasel their way out of this one too, they want to make it an "Unsanctioned" match... in a steel cage!!! Burke challenges Chyna! She accepts! We're on at the Fallout Festival!!! Lizzy Borden throws a tantrum while Ed Lewis & David Otunga exit through the curtains with satisfied smirks upon their faces. Meanwhile Chyna and Burke have the tense stare-down from entrance ramp to ring...



CHYNA versus MILDRED BURKE in a steel cage!!!

Only at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!


** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

"THUMBTACK JACK IS ULTRA-VIOLENCE"



The new and improved Thumbtack Jack takes the ring to declare his dominion, pledge his allegience to "the New Horror" Sami Callihan and his mission to resurrect Death Match wrestling in XPW Remixed... he calls out death match wrestlers as being a disgrace, and even has some harsh things to say about Danny Havoc (and his wife - see above)... but he saves his most potent venom for "Sick" Nick Mondo - who has forsaken the elements of Xtreme... and in turn, lost his soul... Thumbtack Jack will help him find that soul, or forever snuff it out... Jack wants Mondo in an Xtreme Rulez Death Match!!! But is "Sick" Nick Mondo man enough to accept that challenge???

** CUT BACKSTAGE **

*******************

JON MOXLEY versus THE SHEIK (w/ The Grand Wizard)
(No Holds-Barred / Falls Count Anywhere Match)

versus w/

Backstage interlude… a war-torn Jon Moxley is seen strapping up in the locker room… when he’s approached by THE GRAND WIZARD!!! Jon Moxley jumps to his defense, but TGW waves him off… the multi-colored, turban-wearing loudmouth walks gingerly (still sore from his post MBVII beat down) and has bruising on his face… he’s NOT here to antagonize or challenge Jon Moxley any further (Moxley begins to let his guard down)… as a matter of fact, Moxley’s fighting spirit at MBVII caught TGW’s eye, and he’s sorry to say he underestimated Jon Moxley before. “The Street Dog” has certainly caught his eye now, and TGW wants to issue a formal invitation for Moxley to join his camp!!! The Grand Wizard is trying to rebuild his managerial stable and wants Jon Moxley to be his corner stone!!! But Moxley just sneers at The Grand Wizard and DECLINES him! Jon Moxley is his own man and walks his own path! His refusal enrages The Grand Wizard, who begins trembling and turning red with anger… he starts going off on a tirade on Moxley, before Jon just snatches the skinny little manager by his collar and heaves him out of the locker room into the hallway! Moxley starts to advance upon TGW in the hallway, but suddenly he – and the cameras – are blindsided by a large fiery FLASH!!! Moxley is down! The SHEIK is back in the picture, his fingers still smoldering from the huge FIREBALL he just hurled in Moxley’s face!!!



The OG Sheik isn't finished with Jon Moxley yet!!!

OG Sheik scatters backstage personnel and goes hardcore on Moxley… all the while The Grand Wizard shouts threats and taunts… Solie & Striker discuss the "meeting" between TGW’s camp and BLKOut at the end of MBVII and wonder what kind of arrangement they must have come to for TGW to still be amongst the living (more info to come on the next XPW Online)... but Solie & Striker have to admit TGW must have bowed down… Sheik scatters Moxley across tables and launches his face off the surrounding walls and doors, leaving splatters of blood everywhere… but amazingly Jon Moxley fights back and now TGW is singing a different tune… a bloody Jon Moxley winds up dragging Sheik out through the back curtain to the ring area, where the crowds greet them with cheers… now Moxley is in all his bloody, trash-talking glory - running down TGW the entire time… TGW tries to run interference… doesn’t work, as Moxley cuts off his attempt to slide Sheik a steel chair and uses the weapon against Sheik, hammering him down on the metal entrance stage… now Moxley finally has TGW by his scrawny little neck and he’s backing off and calling for help… enter Abdullah the Butcher with a kendo stick! The Madman from the Sudan is back in XPW Remixed (from a tour of the Bloody Far East, Solie tells you)!!!



A quick Kendo stick beat down on Moxley… Sheik struggles to his feet and attempts to collaborate with Abdullah the Butcher on a double team move… but Moxley moves at the last moment - Sheik catches the Kendo stick square between the eyes - and dead man plunges off the entrance ramp through two conveniently-placed tables… menial, pedestrian bump overall but still very exciting to see Sheik go that length to put Moxley over… and in a fiery tribute to Terry Funk himself, Moxley clonks Abdullah the Butcher off the head with a flaming chair as the crowd chants “XPW!!! XPW!!!” TGW is left to curse and slink off, while Moxley plays to the crowd and yells to the sky “U WILL KNOW MY NAME!!!!”

Winner (by match-ending devastation): JON MOXLEY


*************

"SICK" NICK MONDO answers THUMBTACK JACK



** BACKSTAGE PROMO **

”Sick” Nick Mondo nurses his First Blood match injuries and swears vengeance upon Thumbtack Jack for his cruel attack… Mondo is trying to elevate himself and his craft beyond mere “backyard” or “Death match” wrestler… his “Best of the Best” win was a great start, but every time he gets ahead… Demons want to pull him back… that’s why “Sick” Nick Mondo is challenging Thumbtack Jack straight up - no gimmicks, no toys, no weaponry… to PROVE who the better wrestler is!!! But Thumbtack Jack, are you man enough to accept THAT?


** CUT **


"WEST COAST RYDAS"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Brutal, backstage gangland assault upon B-Boy perpetuated by the Cali Cripplers! It started with the cocky and condescending Adam Pearce stepping to B-Boy in the corrider, and disrespecting him… but before “The New Age Punisher” B-Boy could get off but a few shots, he was set upon and ambushed by the Uso brothers (in their American Eagle finest) with Tamina by their side! The entire club pounds out B-Boy, until finally Cali Cripplers head coach AD SANTEL saunters into the scene… he has some harsh, G-talk for B-Boy - viciously reminding him that Ad Santel’s Cripplers RUN the West Coast… and San Francisco is MINE… he annexes B-Boy and banishes him from XPW Remixed, telling him to never show his face around here again! CURB STOMP!!! B-Boy was just figuratively shot in the back of the head and had his body ditched from the West Coast!




Ad Santel runs San Francisco!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **

Lizzy Borden is practically in tears in the locker room, when she’s approached by… Shane Douglas (??)… in a surprising twist, Douglas actually comforts Lizzy and says the two of them have been on a downward spiral in XPW Remixed lately… and it’s time to shake things up a bit… Shane unveils a mid-sized black sack he’s carrying with him… Lizzy starts to smile as she comprehends what he’s suggesting… this is an XPW Remixed Acid Flashback… coming up next...

SHANE DOUGLAS versus CHRIS CANDIDO

versus

Shane Douglas takes the ring alongside Lizzy Borden (???)… he has a black sack he carries with him into the ring… he cuts a classic Shane Douglas promo, downplaying his time in the Triple Threat, bigging up the Philly wrestling fans, and unsheathing the object hidden in the black sack… it’s an XPW Championship belt! (??) As Shane is quick to explain - he came to XPW Remixed for one reason: finish the job he started! See, as far as Shane (and now Lizzy Borden as well) see it - since Shane Douglas was the last Original XPW Champion (circa 2002)… and he never officially LOST the title… that means Shane Douglas is STILL the XPW Champion! And he’s sick and tired of being overlooked and misjudged! It’s time for a change in the Territory Wars, and the muthaphuckkin FRANCHISE is just the man to lead that charge! So here's Shane Douglas' contribution to XPW's "Spring Cleaning" project... right here, right now - Shane Douglas will put his ORIGINAL (and still unclaimed) XPW Championship on the line in an open challenge... LOSER LEAVES XPW REMIXED FOR GOOD!!! Suddenly… the curtains part, and somebody from Douglas’ “past” emerges to answer the call…





Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS


** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________



XPW Remixed Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele
and his secretary Jasmin St Claire


HAVANA PITBULLS versus FABULOUS KANGAROOS (debut!!!)

versus

XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele opens up the next segment in the ring, alongside his secretary Jasmine St. Claire… the Havana Pitbulls are already in the ring, ready for action… hype, hype, hype from Steele… this is the big one… ladies and gentleman, introducing THE FABULOUS KANGAROOS!!! Much pomp and circumstance is made of their triumphant entrance… complete with Australian music and costumed natives… they even have little toy boomerangs for all the kids… their glad-handing, smiling entrance just reeks of fakeness as an American flag waves proudly next to the Australian flag they also carry… instantly you recognize this is Kurt Angle 1999 / Fabulous Rougeou Bros 1989 kind of heat, with the un-American Kangaroos pretending to love America SOOO much it’s unbearable and obnoxious… crowd immediately sees through their façade and boos them mercilessly… the Fab Kangs never mind that though, and continue to play the role of “baby-faces”… even though they cheat, whine and complain to the ref! Competitive squash as the Pitbulls do their thing and get some offense, but match is obviously just a showcase for the debuting Fab Kangs who run a quick interference scheme that earns them a tainted pinfall victory. The Fab Kangs celebrate in gloriously exaggerated fashion like they just won the world titles… they have the mic and through thick Australian accents show their appreciation for America (booo!), show their love for XPW Remixed (booo!) and introduce their new manager and the man who helped bring them here… “WILD” RED BERRY!!! He’s back again with another managerial coup! And he’s just added the newest and hottest tag team to his ranks!!!

Winners: FABULOUS KANGAROOS



** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

"BOSTON'z FINEST"



Here’s a little local flavor for you, stirred up in a giant bean pot. “International Championship Wrestling” (IWC) was founded in the early-mid ‘80s and based out of the New England region. It helped capitalize on a pro wrestling craze that was engulfing the world, and turned out many local fanatics. One of those local yokels was a young Tony Rumble – yet another in a long line of lifelong wrestling fans (like Mick Foley) who loved the business so much they couldn’t help but get involved. From sneaking into Boston Garden shows as a kid, to joining the newly-minted ICW as practically a backyard wrestler, young Tony Rumble just had to be a part of the scene. Just like XPW Original opening in LA and showcasing much of the local talent, IWC did that for the 80’s/90s Boston area. In ring, Tony Rumble was a jobber – getting pummeled by the likes of Abdullah the Butcher, Bruiser Brody, Kevin Sullivan and “Superstar” Billy Graham. In 1986 he formed a tag team called “The Boston Bad Boys” (a name that would stick with Tony during his solo run) that had a brief run of glory (climaxing with an ICW TV taping match versus the 1986 Midnight Rockers (Michaels & Jannetty) during the ICW/AWA “merger”). Rumble’s runs as a wrestler (also including the masked “Dungeon Master”) didn’t propel him to main events, but his brain and passion for the business never waned. He worked his way up to an ICW booker and manager, and some of his ideas and creations were said to have inspired Paul Heyman years later when he expanded ECW. As a manager, Rumble really found his niche – leading Tony Atlas to the ICW Championship and a young Tazmaniac (aka ECW Taz) to the ICW Light Heavyweight title. Later on Rumble would create the CWA (Century Wrestling Alliance) an earlier precursor of Tri-State Wrestling (and later Eastern Championship Wrestling aka “ECW”) and lead his “WHACK PACK” of wrestling monstrosities, freaks and weirdos. In XPW Remixed canon, that collection of oddities also included THE FRENCH ANGEL (1941).



The French Angel is far from local, but Maurice Tillet (the Angel’s government name) is a closely-revered Boston area legend. Tillet was already a blossoming pro wrestling star in France and Europe, but WWII forced him to vacate his country and migrate to the United States. It was in good ‘ol Boston MA that legendary promoter Paul Bowser pushed the French Angel as a main event draw. In Boston during the early ‘40s, The French Angel was unstoppable. The Goldberg of his day, Angel went undefeated for almost 24 months and captured the (Boston area) World Championship two times (with one reign lasting two years!!!) He had a fall from glory however, as his health (and physical features) continued to rapidly deteriorate. He was driven from the main even limelight into the bowels of fantasy wrestling, forced to hide his hideous face under a mask in shame. That’s where he was scooped up off the floor like stale dung by the manipulative former-Dungeon Master TONY RUMBLE and indoctrinated into his WHACK PACK program… Rumble used and abused the masked Angel, running up a similar undefeated streak and striking fear into the heart of his Whack Pack opponents. But Rumble pushed his luck, and pushed his prized race horse around the track until he broke.



French Angel lost a “Mask versus Mask” match to Nick Gage at “(Another) New Years Revolution” and his life was thrown into shambles. But right at his lowest point, French Angel was gifted with a flower drop from the heavens. Young, vivacious Whack Pack valet Sammi Lane began to see French Angel for what he truly was (a beautiful, tortured soul) and reached out to him – kick-starting a connection that would draw Angel back into the XPW Remixed ring. But their unity was frowned upon by Tony Rumble, who seeks to destroy them both once and for all with this match. If Tony Rumble wins tonight against the Angel, not only does he keep Sammi Lane’s performers contract as part of his Whack Pack stable… he banishes French Angel from XPW Remixed for good! What’s Sammi’s connection to the local scene? She first caught my eye performing for New England Championship Wrestling, that used to a have a show on Comcast OnDemand out here a few summers ago. I’ve seen her perform locally and I’ve always liked her. Plus I think she’s a very beautiful girl. And tonight, she is the prized inspiration for which both of these men seek to do battle!

FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane) versus "Boston Bad Boy" TONY RUMBLE

w/ versus

French Angel enters with Sammi Lane first… Tony Rumble comes out next but seems somewhat hesitant to get in the ring… he’s just hanging out on the stage, cussing at Angel and flipping off the fans… Eventually French Angel gets tired of waiting for him and lops up the entrance ramp like a scary beast to get Rumble! Tony sees him coming and turns to run away! But when French Angel reaches the curtain he is BLINDSIDED by a sick Mondo Kleen clothesline that nearly takes his head off! Referees and security scramble to remove Mondo Kleen, but the damage has been done… French Angel is down, and NOW Rumble has returned (with a smirk) to finish what he started. Rumble is punching French Angel toward the edge of the stage then winds up for one more shot but Angel blocks it and fights back! Both guys brawl down the ramp when French Angel rams Rumble into the steps before throwing him in the ring and the bell finally sounds to start this match.

French Angel whips Rumble and hits a boot as we get a shot of Sammi Lane watching on intently from ringside… Angel works Rumble over in a corner then gorilla-whips him into the opposite set of buckles and connects with a clothesline… Rumble rolls out to the floor to try and regroup but French Angel goes after him and rams him into the announce table… French Angel rolls Rumble back in the ring, but the “Boston Bad Boy” legdrops him as he climbs in and finally gets in some offense… French Angel tries to fight back but Rumble regains control, and now Sammi Lane is fretting… . Rumble taunts her from inside the ring… Tony Rumble removes his belt and whips French Angel like a dog! Sammi Lane cries out for him to stop, but it just makes him whip Angel harder… But Angel turns around to grab Rumble around the throat and fight back to his feet! Crowd cheering the Angel’s surge!… but Tony Rumble low-blows his way out of the choke slam, and takes back over… Angel is reeling…

Rumble stomps French Angel down in a corner, but stops to taunt Sammi Lane… when she hops up on the apron to confront Rumble, he grabs her by the hair! This ENRAGES Angel who comes storming back!!! Angel takes Rumble’s head off with a clothesline!… ground and pound!… belly-to-belly suplex! French Angel is treating Tony Rumble like a rag doll!!! Running back splash in a corner but French Angel sidesteps it and nails him with a clothesline! French Angel hulks up! As Rumble staggers to his feet, Angel scoops him up into a thunderous power bomb - stretches him HIGH over head, “Last Ride”-style… before SLAMMING Rumble to the mat with authority! 1!… 2!… 3!… French Angel has won independence for Sammi Lane and himself!!! The two embrace in the center of the ring, and he hoists her on his shoulder, Macho Man & Elizabeth style! Fans cheer the victory!

Winner: FRENCH ANGEL


__________________________________________________________________________

”DIAMONDS ARE STILL FOREVER”



[color=lightblue]Multi-million dollar TV entrance for the Diamond Dynasty… even though they went 0 – 3 at “MBVII” (and Matt Morgan enters tonight obviously wincing in pain from his taped ribs) they still carry themselves with impeccable swagger… they take the ring for a group promo, kick-started by “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers himself… he downplays his loss @ “MBVII”… big ups his Dynasty conglomerate… and even shoots on the dissolution of WCW in the Territory Wars, quipping “the Dynasty’s diamonds truly are forever!”… but when Buddy Rogers starts getting down to the business of addressing Lou Thesz for another title shot, they’re all cut off by “Domination”! Enter BIG EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!

ALEX RILEY (w/ Missy Hyatt) versus EZEKIEL JACKSON

w/ versus

Little talk, all action… Big Zeke rushes the ring… an injured Matt Morgan wants NO part of him… Buddy Rogers recoils and Missy Hyatt flees… that just leaves the young protégé Alex Riley alone in the ring… he quickly looks around, realizes he’s alone, and flies into action… but Jackson just runs through him like a brick wall, planting him with a shoulder block… quick squash from there that ends with Alex Riley screaming for mercy in Big Zeke’s Torture Rack backbreaker!!! Jackson – still raging – grabs a mic and has two simple words for “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers… “YOU’RE NEXT!!!!” Crowd roars! Zeke pounds his chest!!! Rogers holds his own chest in fear!!!

Winner (by submission): EZEKIEL JACKSON

** CUT TO COMMERICAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Television Championship **



THE MIZ versus MATT MORGAN

versus

Back from commercial, and the Dynasty is still in the ring... they continue to rant and rave about injustices, particularly Big Matt Morgan (who is still nursing injured ribs from his MBVII match with Jackson)… they are cut off by the patronizing golf clap and theme song of XPW TV Champion the MIZ! He duels with Morgan on the mic to the crowds approval… he’s still the same cocky, devilish dick, but when his verbal barbs are pointed at other heels the fans really dig Miz… He winds up cajoling Morgan into a match by offering to put his TV title on the line… but it’s just further humiliation for the Dynasty, as Jackson reappears out of nowhere to go after Buddy Rogers again… everyone is sent scrambling… and Miz winds up hitting a Skull Crushing finale on Morgan (while standing on the second turnbuckle to reach him!) It’s over in less than 30 seconds! Just like Miz planned it! His eyes gleam with satisfaction as he hoists his XPW TV title high in the air, and his former employers rant, rave and pull their hair out…



Winner (and STILL XPW Television champion): THE MIZ


** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING (w/ Jessica Darlin)
Versus
INSANE CLOWN POSSE


w/ versus

Less of a match and more of an Xtreme beat down… (Real) KoW catch the Juggalo Ninjas (Necro Butcher & MadMan Pondo) backstage and the brawl begins… KoW wind up getting the jump on the Ninjas… pulverizing them… and sealing them in a dumpster and rolling it off a loading dock… they then get their hands on the Insane Clown Posse and kick their asses all the way through the entrance curtains… down the ramp.. And into the ring, all while the crowd goes crazy… Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter disgrace and humiliate the clowns - smashing them into pieces, drowning them in cheap Faygo soda and performing their DWI-like tag team finisher! They each pin one of the clowns with a foot on their chest, while Jessica Darlin makes the 3-count… the (Real) KoW pose and preen while Jessica Darlin shakes up bottles of Faygo, letting them explode all over her, creating a wet T-shirt effect… ICP is dead.

Winners: (REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING



Jessica Darlin

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** MAIN EVENT **

SAMOA JOE vs. BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs. JOHN CENA vs. SHEAMUS
(Fatal 4-Way #1 Contenders Match)

versus versus versus

Everybody gangs up on Samoa Joe quickly, but Joe turns around and takes out Sheamus & Bruno - picking them apart with brutal strikes… this leaves Cena & Joe, but Cena muscles out of a suplex attempt and tosses Joe overhead in a raw burst of strength!… Sammartino tries for a sleeper hold from behind, but Cena throws him off… Samoa Joe misses a running kick to Sheamus, and eats a Brogue Kick from the Celtic Warrior in return! The action continues like this hot and heavy, back and forth, all through to commercial break… At one point, a series of finishers from each man leads to Cena planting Samoa Joe with a stiff FU in the center of the ring… only to have an angry and bitter JINDER MAHAL show up on the entrance ramp to curse at Cena (in Punjabi)!!!



But with Mahal’s distraction, Cena doesn’t see the brick wall of GREAT GAMA behind him until it’s too late! The savage, prehistoric warrior of Mahal’s Evil Empire takes Cena out with a clothesline to the back of the head… when Cena crashes in a heap on the floor, both Gama & Mahal put the boots to him… SWINGING FULL NELSON NECKBREAKER from Great Gama! He’s whirling a defenseless Cena around like a helicopter blade!!! The match continues inside the ring with Bruno, Joe & Sheamus…Sheamus is in control, when suddenly - WILD RED BERRY shows up on the ring apron to taunt him! Sheamus halts his assault to focus on the manager, when none other than former friend BAM BAM BIGELOW ambushes Sheamus from behind! The tattooed behemoth has a look of rage etched upon his face as he dismantles Sheamus - his manager Wild Red Berry sets up a table - and Bam Bam Bigelow DRIVES Sheamus through it!!! He and his manager pose over Sheamus’ body and table debris, yelling in his face that Bigelow doesn’t play 2nd fiddle to anybody!!!



Back in the ring, Bruno eats a boot from Joe but recovers, and spins Joe around for a German suplex… two count… Sammartino tries for the Gutwrench Powerbomb on Joe, but Joe lowblows out - catches Bruno‘s legs - and pulls him out of the ring… Joe slams Bruno into the announcer's table… Samoa Joe talks a lot of angry trash, and dropkicks the ringsteps into Bruno’s knee, then uses the ringpost to smash Bruno’s head… Back in the ring, Joe goes for the rolling senton but Bruno moves at the last second and winds up catching Joe with a lightning quick roll-up!!! 123!!! Bruno has pinned Joe! Samoa Joe is INCREDULOUS!!! He wants to attack Bruno to regain his heat, but both men wind up dueling with steel chairs before Bruno disarms Joe and sends him retreating from the ring!!! Bruno angrily swings the chair about, keeping Joe outside the ring where he just stares daggers through Bruno as he makes his way back up the ramp…

Winner (and #1 Contender): BRUNO SAMMARTINO



Bruno takes plenty of time to celebrate with the fans, then finally takes a bow at the top of the ramp… He is greeted onstage by MSD (with a mic) and reigning XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who makes the challenge official… MSD asks Bruno & Thesz about the chaos of the main event tonight, and Thesz says that they've made enemies out of the entire XPW locker room… now it‘s "us versus them"… Thesz says his match with Bruno @ the Fallout Festival will be about honor and respect… Bruno says they're ready for whoever to show up, and if they do, they will stand united… but at the Fallout Festival, Thesz & Sammartino will end the decades-long debate between them for good… asked about leaving as the champion at the Fallout Festival PPV, Thesz says anything can happen, but he's not going out there to lose, "Whoever walks out of there as champion is going to have to earn it." Both men shake hands and Thesz holds up the championship belt! Crowds cheer as both men eye the prize…



LOU THESZ: This is the first I have heard of Bruno in years. We did the same autograph signing in NY about 10-12 years ago, but he never spoke to any of the the rest of us athletes. Bruno was in a room alone and Buddy Rogers and I were out with everyone else at a table together. In all fairness to Bruno, he was part of a strange organization, and it obviously had an effect on him. I wasn't bright enough to deal with them, but I was lucky I never had to... but at the "Fallout Festival" I'm looking forward to settling this grudge with Bruno once and for all! This is the season for sportsmanship in Fantasy Wrestling!!!

** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL


A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of all fantasy wrestling fans... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!



** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz vs Bruno Sammartino

Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)


__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

"WILD" RED BERRY: SLAM! Sports article (Thu, June 3, 2010)
LOU THESZ: Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard (Lou Thesz forum)





[Edited on 3-25-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 3-16-2012 at 06:21 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #13





Cut to the in-studio host for the show:


Sunny

Sunny opens the show, but not her usual jovial self... she completely shits on Shane Douglas for "driving his best friend" Chris Candido from XPW Remixed (knowing full well it was her that conned Candido into the loss)... she also says Shane's claim as "Real XPW Champion" holds no weight... and challenges him to a fight on the next Episode of XPW TV on behalf of her man Big Shad Gaspard!!!

** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"KING of the MUTHAPHUCKKIN STREETZ"

Show opens with a wide, panning shot of all the fans gathered in the night time streets waiting to get into the show… lots of signs, XPW merchandise, pot smoke and loud “XPW! XPW!” chants… cameras come to the center of the pandemonium to find none other than XPW King of the Death Match NICK FN GAGE (w/ his BLOut crew) positioned within the crowd in a bboy stance… bandanna over his face, KotDM belt over his shoulder, and “FEAR ME” T-Shirt looking intimidating as fuck… backstage correspondent MSD runs up to the scene to catch a few words from the Xtreme Outlaw on the run… the first thing MSD asks Gage is the question on everybody’s mind - “what happened at the end of MBVII w/ you and The Grand Wizard!”…



Nick Gage cuts another blistering close-up promo into the camera… staying true to the adage “real bad boyz move in silence”, Gage is purposely vague about the exact details of his meeting with TGW, but the ex-Commission president has bowed down and there will be no further need for interaction of any kind between BLKOut and TGW… see, Nick Gage has a much BIGGER target in his sights… somebody handed over to him by TGW on a silver platter… So right here right now Nick Gage is calling out the XPW Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele to settle their feud ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! It’s obvious XPW Remixed is not big enough for both of them, and one has to disappear… FOR GOOD! So Gage is giving Steele one chance to act like a man, and face him one on one. Or he's coming to get him. TONIGHT! ”XPW! XPW!”


*** CUT TO SHOW ***


”MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT”



Ed "Strangler" Lewis

For the continued onward success of XPW Remixed, a new initiative is being sprung. A “spring cleaning” tour… the “LLXPW” (“Loser Leaves XPW”) match on XPW TV Episode #37 was just the beginning of a roster cleansing program designed to alleviate logjam and let the cream of fantasy wrestling float to the top (not to mention the global structure of fantasy wrestling contracts, points, gate percentages, etc being lifted from GDT Inc coffers)…. This is the Boston Celtics trading Kendrick Perkins to OKC, or the Lakers giving Lamar Odom to Dallas… straight salary dump shit. And continuing next week we will be a hosting a very special “LLXPW” 4-Way dance! The first to suffer a pinfall or submission will be RELEASED from XPW Remixed! It’s feast or famine, starve or strive! This is XPW Remixed! Prepare for the FALLOUT!!! BRACE YOURSELF!!!

****************


”AN UNSPEAKABLE HORROR RETURNS TO XPW REMIXED”



Violent, backstage disturbance (including the sounds of destruction, primeval roars and female shrieks of terror) draws cameras running to the scene… in the shadowy darkness we find a brutal attack unfolding… the OG of Xtreme NEW JACK is being bludgeoned and throttled! Manhandling him like a sack of broken potatoes is the gigantic – multi-colored- face-painted POGO THE CLOWN!!! He’s ditched the prison cellblock persona and returned to his eerie, John Wayne Gacy-inspired serial killer clown make-up – using his barbed wire shovel against New Jack! This is Pogo’s revenge against New Jack for discovering and outing his sick perversions - then hurling him off a balcony ledge (see XPW Online #12)! Pogo murderlizes New Jack, ramming him from wall to floor to ceiling like a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre (really accentuating the sheer SIZE of Pogo the Clown) before driving New Jack THROUGH the metal back-bay door and press slamming him over the wall of the back parking ramp, sending New Jack crashing into the darkness and debris nearly 10 feet below! Pogo the Clown takes his time to stew, steam and stare disconcertingly into the cameras – silently announcing to the world he’s BACK in fantasy wrestling… but his rampage has only just begun. Bear witness…



** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

”FALLOUT FESTIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT”



[color=orange]MC Matt Striker is in the ring to open the show and welcome the fans… at the end of the month, during Fantasy Wrestlemania Weekend, XPW Remixed will be hosting a no-holds barred, take-no-prisoners, TWO-night event! The fantasy wrestling equivalent of Woodstock… Friday night, fans, bring the family for a fun filled exciting day of carnival rides, games (like “Dunk Doink the Clown”), meet-and-greets and a whole host of other exciting events! Musical acts Cyndi Lauper and (it is rumored) Run-D.M.C. will be performing live! At the end of the night we climax with the first part of our FALLOUT FESTIVAL with a family wrestling event for the eons… then, as the midnight bell tolls, lock up the woman and put the kids to sleep as the real Freaks Come out at Night… Day #2 is the thugged out, drugged out, bugged out madness we all come to love and expect from XPW… including performances by ICP and Snoop Dogg! It’s something for everybody as XPW Remixed presents the “Fallout Festival”!!! BRACE YOURSELF!!! And as a harbinger of things to come, on the eve of Fallout Festival - in XPW Remixed where “anything can happen“… ladies gentleman please welcome BACK to XPW… the Xtreme Icon and XPW Original…

THE SANDMAN!!!



Oh my, cut the ******* tape!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________

JUN KASAI versus HUMAN TORNADO versus JC ICE BABY

versus versus

Demented little R-rated romp between these 3 characters... Jun Kasai is as scarred-up and horrifying as ever, but his weird sexual innuendo tonight (including stripping down to a thong) gives him a more creepy sense of humor… JTG (formerly of Cryme Tyme) gave the big “yoyoyoyoyoyoyoYO YO YO!” intro for his dude JC Ice Baby, who he’s apparently trying to repackage in the Marky Mark / John Cena 2003-mode (see picture below)… and Human Tornado remains pimptastic, as usual - hot stepping to the ring to a Suga Free song and dazzling with his jazzy style… JC Ice Baby winds up eating finishers from each of his opponents, before Tornado outsmarts Kasai and rolls him up for the pin… Jun Kasai doesn’t even really seem to mind; as he’s smiling broadly (a lil embarrassment, sure) but overall just as entertained by Human Tornado as the rest of us seem to be. JC Ice Baby and crew leave in shambles as usual, their crowd heat only rising with each humiliating loss.

Winner: HUMAN TORNADO



PG-13 keeps it thug life alongside their mentor JTG

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"WAR IS MY DESTINY"



Ill, pre-produced video segment with Thumbtack Jack reveling in the insanity and wanton destruction of Death Match wrestling… promo takes place in some medieval torture chamber of some kind… he answers “Sick” Nick Mondo’s declaration on XPW TV Episode #37 by basically calling him a coward… Thumbtack Jack is joined in the promo by a demonic Sami Callihan, who’s unholy presence draws devils closer like moths to a flame… Sami Callihan takes over the promo and paints himself as some kind of vengeful savior of Xtreme who will be accompanying his minion Thumbtack Jack to the ring as he battles Mondo on the next Episode of XPW TV… this is CM Punk/ Straight Edge Society 2010 stuff from Callihan & Thumbtack Jack, only with an emphasis on ultra-violence and not being drug free…



Their video is answered by “Sick” Nick Mondo in the interview section backstage with MSD… calm, rational retort from Mondo where he promises to be aware and alert of the weaponry but will not embrace the gimmickry… and as a safe resort, to help guide Mondo’s hand in righteous victory on the next Episode of XPW TV, he will be bringing his OWN guest enforcer… somebody to watch his back and make sure he doesn’t do something wicked to Thumbtack Jack, like he did to the Cannibal Cartel…


THUMBTACK JACK (w/ Sami Callihan) versus “SICK” NICK MONDO (w/ mystery guide)

On the next Episode of XPW TV!!!


____________________________________________________________________________________

"THE GREAT GAMA"

5'7"
240 lbs
Fighting out of Lahore - The City of Wrestlers and Warriors



[color=orange]"In India, wrestling is as old as written history. Indian wrestlers are huge men almost as big as the sumo giants of Japan. However, no man can become champion through brute force alone. There are a thousand "holds" in Indian wrestling, and the most skillful grapplers like Great Gama reign supreme. His real name was Ghulam Mohammed. A Muslim of Kashmiri wrestling stock, Gama defeated all comers in India with rare exception.



The "Evil Empire"

The Great Gama made his fantasy wrestling debut in BCCW - answering the Broken City Throwdown II... it was a 16-man single elimination tourney to determine the Fantasy Wrestling World Champion... he went on to defeat his first two opponents - keeping his hallowed undefeated streak alive... but was mysteriously removed from the tourney after suffering an off-stage arm injury (the entire BCCW project was shrouded in secrecy and danger to begin with)... Gama's initial foray into Fantasy Wrestling had failed, and that defeat settled deeply in his heart... where he heard the call-to-arms of the greatest Indian wrestler alive and Punjabi royalty Jinder Mahal (2013)... now - Jinder Mahal's ancient force of devestation is set to be unleashed upon current XPW Boston champion JOHN CENA... in an unsanctioned "Last Man Standing" match... next week on XPW TV!!!



The Great Gama and his "Gurz" - a traditional Indo-Pakistani Trophy awarded to Champion Wrestlers ("Phelwans") at Wrestling Competitions (aka "Dungals"). It's the equivalent of an American championship belt. The Gurz are handmade and vary in design and size, sometimes made out of silver or gold with inlaid precious stones. They are a symbol of spirit, strength and skill and are only awarded to the best all the best.

** XPW Boston Championship **

John Cena (champion) versus Great Gama (undefeated challenger)
(Last Man Standing Match)

On the next Episode of XPW TV!!!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"AN XTREME SHOOT"



[color=gold]Eddie Gilbert is on a rampage… the bitter, paranoid loner breaks onto the XPW Remixed set and crashes the ring… in street clothes with a mic in hand Gilbert cuts a frothing-mouthed shoots promo on XPW Remixed that culminates with him clamping a leather dog collar with a long metal chain around his own neck to symbolize the so-called “slavery” he’s suffered… this is Flyin Brian “Loose Cannon”/ Stone Cold WWF 1997 type stuff that gets a fairly heated reaction from the live crowd… Gilbert’s impromptu call-to-action is answered by none other than XPW Remixed VP Joseph "Toots" Mondt... he reminds Gilbert of his litany of offenses against the company (betrayal, corruption, attempted vehicular homicide) and offers a resolution to Gilbert's constant complaining... tonight we wipe the slate clean with another "LLXPW" Match! Winner gets to pick his future opponent of choice... "LOSER LEAVES XPW"!!!!

Cue theme song - enter DANNY HAVOC!!!



Danny Havoc enters the arena to a newfound pop (due to the popularity of his XPW Online “Not a Blog”)… in a quick, stage-top promo he picks up the mantle of Xtreme and his dry wit eviscerates Gilbert on the mic - driving him further into madness… But Havoc barely has time to strap the collar around his own neck when Gilbert launches into attack with the steel chain wrapped around his fist… CLONK! Instant blood flow…


EDDIE GILBERT versus DANNY HAVOC
(Xtreme Rulez Free-for-All)

versus

Another interesting clash of hardcore icons from different eras… the crowd responds very favorably for Havoc as he’s immediately in sell-mode… he’s a young Mr Perfect/Dolph Ziggler/HBK the way his body crashes and folds, accentuating every bump… not to mention the apparent geyser he’s tapped in his forehead (the result of the first chain shot)… if his head rests on the mat for more than a few moments, a large pool of blood forms… Gilbert still draws ultra-Memphis-styled-heel heat, which is why he’s probably still employed here… he works Havoc over stiffly and plays to the crowd… in the end Havoc makes the comeback with new school human cannon shots and winds up nearly lynching Gilbert over the top rope with the chain; Gilbert’s face turning purple and blue… in the end Havoc unsheathes the ULTRA-violence with a handful of light tubes that he explodes over Gilbert’s body in rapid succession like samurai sword strikes… Havoc picks up the final pinfall and soaks in the bloody aftermath of his victory… and perhaps for the last time, Eddie Gilbert is forcefully removed from XPW Remixed property in handcuffs - as he refuses to believe his loss, before rebelling and ultimately getting maced, tasered and serenaded by fans with the "nah nah nahhh hey hey hey good bye" song"... post match, Danny Havoc cuts an intense, crimson-faced promo into the camera - answering Thumbtack Jack (see XPW TV Episode #37) and offering to fight Thumbtack Jack in his own backyard - ultraviolent playground!!! Danny Havoc is XXXTREEEEEME!!! If "Sick" Nick Mondo is ready to put the torch down, and God bless anybody that can escape the morass of Death match wrestling, then Danny Havoc is ready to pick it up and run!!!

Winner: DANNY HAVOC

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

[color=orange]** CONFERENCE ROOM SKIT **



The entire GDT Inc team in a meeting (including Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Toots Mondt)… conference room adorned with graphs, pie charts, Excel layouts and other professional accruements… at the head of the table, legal counsel David Otunga is giving the presentation… it’s a pitch for the new marketing, managing and branding company he wants GDT inc to invest in… to help fantasy wrestling “stay in focus”… television cameras and photographers are removed from the room before the meeting continues… But before the doors can be closed completely, XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele rushes into the room! He’s in a frantic frenzy, alongside his slightly frazzled secretary Jasmine St Claire.



He breaks up the meeting in a huff to address his own concern with Nick Gage’s ultimatum earlier this evening… Steele needs their permission to “press the red button”, so to speak… call the cops, shut down the show, and get the escaped fugitive on the run Nick Gage outta here for GOOD… Steele is DECLINED by GDT Inc who don’t hesitate to remind Steele of his own bold threats against them and general acts of flippancy and disrespect to his position… as far as they’re concerned, Steele’s backdoor shenanigans and deals with TGW prior just came back to bite him in the ass… bear witness, and BRACE YOURSELF! Steele is excused from the office, with the reminder that if he gets the cops involved in any way he will be BLACKBALLED from Fantasy Wrestling FOREVER… and that’s real talk… meanwhile, let Mr. David Otunga continue with his very intriguing new business proposition… stay in focus.


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

“AD SANTEL RUNS THE WEST COAST”



In a shocking turn of events on XPW TV Episode #37, Ad Santel’s training camp answered B-Boy’s resignation with a brutal beat down… video recap of the smashing, including Ad Santel’s final curb stomp to B-Boy’s head… Ad Santel promo promising the rise of his Cali Cripplers training camp as they start to overtake XPW Remixed… Santel is a legendary hooker, infamous for breaking limbs for money… his hit list includes names like B-Boy and George Hackenschmidt…

“HACK TAKES ERNST ON AS PARTNER; SAYS HE IS GREAT”

Adolph Ernst* local wrestler and considered by many to be a better man than Charles Cutler will accompany George Hackenschmidt, the "Russian Lion", on his tour of the country, and will act as his chief trainer for all bouts, as well as his wrestling partner in exhibition matches where no opponent is secured for him. This was brought about after Ernst's workout in a practice bout with the grappier from the other side. So well was Hack pleased with Ernst that he engaged him for the season. "Hack" pronounces Ernst one of the best young wrestlers that he has ever took on, and believes him capable of giving any of the lighter heavyweights a hard game. Ernst weights at the present time close to the 190 pound notch.

** (CHICAGO AMERICAN--Nov. 11, 1910)

* “Adolph Ernst” is the government name of Ad Santel… just lending further credence to the immortal wrestling theory that Ad Santel was paid to injure Hackenschmidt before his big return title bout against Frank Gotch…

The FallOut Festival will feature a 20-man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal, and Ad Santel has entered his Cali Cripplers into the equation. This will be the first time in wrestling history we have more than one Battle Royal WINNER! Ad Santel says his camp will stand strong and united, now that they've executed the last weak link! XPW Remixed is fantasy wrestling! XPW was born in Los Angeles... and AD SANTEL runs the West Coast!!!

20-Man Battle Royal at the "Fallout Festival"!!!

** CUT **

********************



LOU THESZ: Ad did tell me about his involvement in crippling Hackenschmidt. I felt like he wanted me to hear it from him, or I would not believe it. He was right!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"HONKY TONK MAN SPEAKS OUT"

Long known for his internet tirades, Honky Tonk Man finally went off the hook in XPW Remixed... he released another internet blog, this time targeting current XPW Television champion THE MIZ in particular... HTM certainly sounds bitter, and this may be his last stab at contemporary glory in fantasy wrestling... or does HTM have another revolutionary title reign left in his cache...?



First and foremost you people who have worked maybe a few days or less than a few two or less years in the wrestling industry, you have no clue of what it takes to perform at the the highest level this industry. With that said, I can now call it not an industry, but a business. To come into the wrestling business and to stay for a few days or a couple of years and say, “I have lived my dream to be in wrestling.” You all are a bunch of idiot morons.I live my dream everyday for the last 34 years. I live it not a few weeks or a few months, but everyday.

You turn around and say you are so glad you are away from WWE because you felt you were in prison. Yes I have had my issues with WWE but I never felt it was prison as some of you punks and punketts have said. WWE is a never ending grind to perform at the highest level. Ringo Starr said it best in a line of a song. “If you want to sing the blues, you have to pay your dues, cause you know it don’t come easy.” For all you punks and punketts that want to play on the big stage, get your sh*t together or stay out of our business.

Till we meet again,
Adios


*********

"THE COMMISSIONERS DECREE"



[color=gold]In his continued efforts to thwart Nick Gage, Commissioner Steele has mandated a KotDM title defense TONIGHT! Against another man with a stake and claim to the "Ultraviolent Underground" name... (see XPW Online #9)...

DRAKE YOUNGER!!!



Nick Gage defends the KotDM title against Drake Younger...

TONIGHT!!!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

WENDY RICHTER vs ALEXXIS NEVAEH
(#1 Contenders Match)

versus

Wendy Richter gets her rockstar entrance, alongside Cyndi Lauper… Alexxis Nevaeh already in the ring… pre-match handshake of respect… they wrestle over a lock-up and arm wringers, as Solie informs us this match was originally scheduled to be a Triple Threat match including Sunny (who had petitioned for involvement)… but when Lizzy Borden lost the championship (see XPW TV Episode #37) Sunny no longer wanted in… then Tamina was supposed to get the spot, but her and the rest of the Cali Cripplers were suspended for their beat down and wrestling-execution of B-Boy on the same Episode of XPW TV… so now just Richter & Neveah battle for the #1 contendership… nice, brisk encounter between two woman wrestling in primes separated by about 15 years… on commentary Striker touts the superiority of the XPW Woman’s division in the Territory Wars, and with Lizzy Borden’s removal from her position as President he surmises the division will soar to new heights… midway through the match XPW Remixed Woman’s Champion ANNIE SOCIAL makes her way to ringside to join the commentary team… she keeps it gutter and even lets a few “f” and “s” words fly (probably why it was cut from TV)… in the end, Annie Social’s attitude gets her involved in shouting matches with both Neveah & Richter from ringside… after a series of counters and reversals, both Nevaeh & Richter roll each other up at the same time… the ref’s hand slaps 3 (with both woman’s shoulders down) JUST as the bell rings to signify the end of their 10 minute TV time limit! Confusion and controversy reigns… Lauper holds up Richter’s hand in victory… Alexxis Nevaeh celebrates the same… crowd cheers each woman equally…

Winner: NO FINISH



Postmatch, Annie Social says “fuck this”, grabs a mic and declares martial law… Annie Social - North Killadelphia Hood Chick - is a fighting champion - and she’ll take ‘em BOTH on at the same time! Suggestive imagery from Social in regards to “3-ways” that makes the crowd pop! Annie Social will defend her title against BOTH of them at the Fallout Festival! Three-Way Dance! Richter & Nevaeh agree and we are ONNNN!!! The 3 woman stare each other down and talk trash while Annie Social holds her title high in the sky and declares herself the new Queen Bitch of XPW Remixed!!!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"MSD INTERVIEWS THE CHAMP"


MSD: Why did you come back to fantasy wrestling? In XPW Remixed of all places?



LOU THESZ: Well, I came back to wrestling because it's my first love. I invested some money in an industrial rubber business where I live but it just doesn't have the razzle dazzle ... the romance to that sort of business that this does. Of course, as I said, wrestling is my first love and I miss it. I miss all the old contacts, the old friends ... and there's just a lot in the wrestling world that isn't in a regular business world. There's nothing wrong with the regular business world, but this is such a fascinating sport and I'm hooked on it.



MSD: What has been the pinnacle of your success so far in XPW Remixed?



LOU THESZ: I won the heavyweight championship of the world, which was undisputed at that time. (see “(Another) New Years Revolution”) I've since been up and down the pike many times. I've won and lost. I held the title a total of eighteen-and-a-half years. This is not a life story ... I'm just quoting some facts. I was the youngest champion in history. I was the oldest champion in history. Even at my age right now ... I'm attempting to win the heart and minds of fantasy wrestling fans for an unprecedented time and I don't see any reason why it can't be done. I've keep my body in great condition. Wrestling has been my entire life. In fact, it interrupted my domestic life and when you've got nothing left in this world, you get back to the thing you love most of all and for me that was wrestling. So I've given it my undivided attention and I've been training very, very hard for the past six months and have discovered I can wrestle both the youngsters and the oldsters and I just don't see any age barrier to wrestle anyone in any age group.



MSD: The XPW Remixed championship lineage was broken between Sammartino & Rogers, with each man claiming a portion of the title. What happened there?



LOU THESZ: Well, that was a French Montreal group and they were infiltrating this country as promoters and I even assisted them for some time. However, I really don't think that having all the various champions is good for the sport. I think one undisputed champion is what we should have. If I may, I'd just like to say something about the caliber of talent you have here in this area. I'm speaking of John Cena, William Muldoon, Mil Mascaras… GDT Inc has a pipeline to the top talent in the world. I don't know of any city this size that can witness the caliber of wrestlers the fans have in this area. It's like the seat of wrestling culture. And I’m trying to save that culture from perversion by plying my trade here in XPW Remixed.



MSD: How do you feel fantasy wrestling has progressed in the last 60 years since you plied your trade in your prime?



LOU THESZ: A lot of the old timers will tell you wrestlers and wrestling was better in the old days. I don't go along with that at all. That’s why I founded the Shooters Club – to pass some of our old school traditions down to the new school. Some of the moves back then that we thought were very inside things and very sophisticated are common place today. And the moves that we knew as amateurs that we thought were so good are also commonplace today.



MSD: But old school wrestling is still better right?



LOU THESZ: I think the young wrestlers of today are superior to what we had in the past. I think some of them do not do their homework. But the man I'm wrestling at the “Fallout Festival, I would say right today, without question, that he is the best wrestler in the world. And I say this without reservations because I'm really a super critic about wrestling and wrestlers. I think he's more knowledgeable and objective about wrestling. He loves what he's doing, he's devoted his life to it, and I believe he's the number one man in the world today.



MSD: I agree. So did you ever wrestle Bruno Sammartino before?



LOU THESZ: Oh yes! I wrestled Sammartino in Toronto, Canada in the early 60's. I don't remember the exact date but it's a matter of record and you can look it up in the old newspapers there. I pinned him in the middle of the ring and a week later they were calling him a champion in New York City. But that's the way it goes, you know?



MSD: Sammartino had his #1 contendership yanked from him at MBVII – he then went out and re-earned that title shot with his victory on XPW TV Episode #37. But before all that went down, you opened the show by announcing your intention to square off against Bruno in the first place. Certainly an admirable action on your behalf, but do you think that was a wise decision? Especially after seeing what Bruno did to Samoa Joe 2007 in their match at MBVII?



LOU THESZ: I went to New York later and a couple of reporters asked me about the Canada match and I told them. A while later I was a guest on the Tonight Show, which was being guest hosted by Joe Garagiola and he asked me about Sammartino. I told him I had beaten him before and I didn't see any reason I couldn't do it again. And I still feel that way. I could do it right today. No problem ... but he's a great guy. He's a very nice man.



MSD: Would you say he’s nicer than your MBVII opponent “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers?



LOU THESZ: I most certainly would. I don't think there's any comparison. You can't mention the two in the same breath.


***************

"MAIN EVENT HYPE"



** CUT **

___________________________________________________________________

FABULOUS KANGAROOS (w/ Wild Red Berry)
versus
LA COKA NOSTRA (aka "FBI") w/ Tony Altomare



versus
w/

La Coka Nostra in the ring to start the segment, with wiseguy Tony Altomare on the mic… but instead of another humorous mafiaso promo he’s lip synching Frank Sinatra’s “Fly me to the Moon” while the crowd boos voraciously… Tony Mamaluke and Big Sal E. Graziano help ham it up as Lil Guido preps for action… but they are all cut off by the annoying voice of “Wild” Red Berry – XPW Remixed’s newest manager extraordinaire… wearing a derby hat, carrying a cane and using a vocabulary plucked straight from the dictionary pages themselves, “Wild” Red Berry puts himself over and introduces his camp… including Bam Bam Bigelow and the American (and Australian) flag-waving duo FABULOUS KANGAROOS… they love America! In a real taste of multicultural clash, “Wild” Red Berry outwits Tony Altomare on the mic and is touting the superiority of true American sportsmanship! The FabKangs tangle with Guido and Mamaluke in a quick, fast-paced affair… Berry & Altomare shout at each other… and even Bam Bam Bigelow and Big Sal E. Graziano tease conflict… in the end one of the FabKangs just clobbers Mamaluke with the American flag pole and buries him in the mat for the pin. FabKangs (& “Wild” Red Berry) celebrate while Bam Bam watches their back in the ring like hired muscle… but in the end, a scene-closing Red Berry long-winded monologue is interrupted by the HAVANA PITBULLS who crash the ring through the audience and attack the cocky, condescending Fabulous Kangaroos… in the very end, none other than SHEAMUS makes the huge crowd-pleasing run in to flatten Bam Bam Bigelow and put the turncoat through a table! Sheamus tries to get his hands on Berry, but the skinny manager runs away to fight another day! But at the Fallout Festival… SHEAMUS WANTS BAM BAM!!!

Winners: FABULOUS KANGAROOS



Sheamus vs Bam Bam Bigelow @ FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"SUN SETS ON THE OLYMPIA"



Segment opens with Olympia training personnel in the ring, including head coach William Muldoon… Matt Striker is in the ring for a quick word from them… Tommaso Ciampa is returning to action from his own mysterious ninja-star attack, and much like Mil Mascaras before him (see XPW TV Episode #37) he will be victorious! Young Tommaso Ciampa (who reminds you of a “Viper” Randy Orton-lite) has a few brief but intense words calling OUT the mysterious ninja-star attacker who’s shadowy strikes against the Olympia have resulted in both Ciampa & Mascaras missing ring time… if it is indeed a terrorist attack by the Evil Empire, then reveal yourself! Or any other cowardly opponent! There is a delay as apparently the Olympia’s open challenge will go unanswered… but as William Muldoon is about to start leading the troops away, the house lights suddenly go OUT - pitching the arena into BLACKNESS!!



Suddenly a single white light (in the shape of the mysterious ninja star sign) appears in the ring… Olympia looking around… the lights come up and SUDDENLY a black-robed assailant has appeared on the ring apron to SPIT BLACK MIST IN WILLIAM MULDOON’S FACE!

Re-introducing to XPW Remixed…

HAKUSHI KURO!!!



HAKUSHI KURO vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA

versus w/

Academic result, with the newly repackaged Hakushi Kuro (“Black” in Japanese) getting the jump on Ciampa and taking advantage… flashy, exciting, Hollywood action film, Jackie Chan / Jet Li-style from Hakushi Kuro here as he uses an array of ninjijtsu strikes and holds to disable Ciampa… all the while security is still scrambling and William Muldoon desperately tries to rub the blinding mist from his eyes… by the time he can focus blurry, runny eyes on what’s happening in the ring - the turncoat Hakushi Kuro has KO’d Ciampa and has him kneeling in execution position… “Solid Man” William Muldoon is aghast at the treachery, and pleads with his former student to relent… but instead, Hakushi Kuro (holding a steel chair like one would a dead cat) gives the sign of death and CAVES CIAMPA’s FACE IN with a buzz saw kick (steel chair-assisted)! Muldoon collapses in a combination of blinding pain and stunned sadness as Ciampa’s body slumps lifelessly over… Hakushi Kuro just bows before the “Solid Man”, giving him the sign of death indicating he is next…

Winner: HAKUSHI KURO
____________________________________________________________________________________

** MAIN EVENT **

NICK GAGE © versus DRAKE YOUNGER
(KotDM aka "Ultraviolent Underground" championship match)

versus



Winner (and STILL KOTDM): NICK GAGE

[color=orange]Post match, Nick Gage goes OFF on Steele - ripping him to shreds on the mic... turns out, TGW's last official act as Commission president was to authorize a contract for Gage to fight Steele at "Fallout Festival!" In a no-rules, King of the Death Match, LOSER LEAVES XPW Remixed fight to the finish!!! On the backstage monitors, Steele goes ballistic with rage (and fear?) at the announcement! Gage and Steele will finally end their treacherous blood feud once and for all at FALLOUT FESTIVAL! This world ain't big enough for these two cocaine cowboys!!!

** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL


[color=orange]A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of every fantasy wrestling fan... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!



** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz © vs Bruno Sammartino

Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)

"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers (1963) vs Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Sheamus

** XPW Woman's Championship **
Annie Social © vs Wendy Richter vs Alexxis Nevaeh

20-Man Battle Royal

Nick FN Gage © versus "Real Deal" Damien Steele
("Loser Leaves XPW Remixed" Match)



__________________________________________________________________________



CREDITS:

LOU THESZ: Interview in “World/American Wrestling Results” (December 1980) and Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard RE: Ad Santel
HONKY TONK MAN: Web Rant, posted July 2010






[Edited on 3-25-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 3-22-2012 at 10:54 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #38



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

This is a tumultuous time in the Territory Wars, with waves and waves of organizations collapsing under the weight of the economy and the threat of XPW Remixed… the so-called “XPW Remixed Curse” continues with the demise of yet another fantasy wrestling organization with working ties to the corrupt West Coast company… Now, more than ever before, XPW Remixed stands as the last bastion of true competition within the fantasy wrestling arena… a place where legends spring from anew, and classics live forever… at the end of March - Fantasy Wrestlemania Weekend - XPW Remixed will be hosting the first-ever “Fallout Festival”… a revolutionary 2-night wrestling Woodstock designed to showcase the flavor of XPW Remixed at a time all eyes in fantasy wrestling will be watching… behold, be forewarned, and BRACE YOURSELF!!! “FallOut Festival” coming soon! Tonight, we host a very special 5-on-5 “Fallout Survivors” Elimination tag match! All hell breaks loose on the road to Fallout! Plus John Cena defends his Boston championship against the Great GAMA in a “Last Man Standing” match, a new #1 contender will be immediately crowned, and the Spring Cleaning initiative continues with a Fatal 4-Way “Loser Leaves XPW Remixed” match! All TONIGHT!!!

** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________



** Backstage skit… Sabu is approached in the locker room by JINDER MAHAL (followed by Great Khali & Raesha Saeed)… tense stand-off, but Mahal uses a little Punjabi diplomacy to ingrate himself to Sabu… Sabu = Evil Empire??? The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal mad man is non committal… **

** #1 CONTENDERS MATCH **
(XPW Boston Championship)


MIL MASCARAS vs SABU vs HUMAN TORNADO

versus versus

Winner gets first crack at the Boston championship, after the winner of tonight’s title bout is determined… Human Tornado enters first, followed by Sabu, and finally Mascaras - each accompanied by an even louder pop… this is 1975 PWI’s Most Popular Wrestler Mil Mascaras here, and the high-flying collaborations between all 3 opponents tonight is truly breath taking… Mascaras enters with the dual mask, tossing one to the fans… Sabu ups the ante by crashing his own body through a set of tables… Solie & Striker surmise that Jinder Mahal may have been reaching out to Sabu to soften up the next potential #1 contender (to a title Mahal is certain his camp will hold by the end of the evening)… Human Tornado can do the jive, but Mascaras knows the salsa and turns up the heat with a wicked springboard plancha from the ropes to the floor that leaves the crowd chanting “XPW! XPW!” In the end, Sabu chases a charging Mascaras towards the turnbuckles, but Mascaras hops OVER the table propped in the corner (that Sabu crashes through), before launching himself off the turnbuckle with a corkscrew plancha/ into roll-up on Human Tornado for the pin!

Winner (and #1 Contender): MIL MASCARAS (1975)

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

** Backstage skit… now Jinder Mahal and troops are approaching the victorious Mil Mascaras in the locker room - he immediately preps for combat… but Mahal civilly offers the olive branch and a potential working relationship with Mascaras, depending on the end result of tonight’s title match… Mascaras is non-committal, leaving Jinder Mahal smug with conviction… **

** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE PROMO **

Words from XPW Boston champion John Cena… “hustle, loyalty, respect”, honor & prestige, righteous indignation… Cena is ready to rid the fantasy wrestling world of the Evil Empire scourge once and for all… a true international Dream Match that crosses generational, cultural and national boundaries! NEXT!!!


** CUT TO RING **

** XPW BOSTON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH **



JOHN CENA © versus GREAT GAMA (w/ Jinder Mahal)

versus w/

Scott: After a really fun match at New Year’s Revolution that saw Cena wrestle a psychological masterpiece against the Punjabi Bulldozer, we have our obligatory rematch with a stipulation. Over time the Last Man Standing becomes one of the most overused gimmicks in my opinion. However in this instance I think it makes perfect sense since Great Gama clearly pummeled Cena at NYR and saw his chance to be XPW Boston Champion stolen on a roll-up. However in the few weeks leading up to this match Great Gama continued to bludgeon the champ and injured his spleen. Both men go at it full bore here and we have some pretty sweet spots. First, with Jinder Mahal lingering on the outside, Cena lifts the ring steps over his head and just hurls them from the ring at Mahal outside. Then with Cena leaning against the steps in the corner. Great Gama goes for the butt splash but Cena misses and Great Gama butt splashes the steps. Cena, who had a tough end of Perfectly Straight Edge’s WCW and an even tougher time in OzzMania’s TNA in terms of gaining respect from all the fantasy wrestling Universe really worked hard in these two matches with Great Gama to try and get some street cred from the workrate junkies. Cena goes for an FU on the steps and scrapes his face on them. So he’s hideously busted wide open. Both men continue to destroy each other. Then, the moment that makes this match memorable. Great Gama lays a prone Cena over the announce table. He goes all the way, then goes for a running splash across two tables before missing the splash on the final table. Back in the ring, Great Gama rips a turnbuckle off the post. He goes to crush Cena with it, but Cena ducks it and then the champ tries to choke Great Gama out with the ring rope. After doing it the first time and Great Gama getting up, Cena tries it again. Finally Great Gama is out and the champion retains the title with blood all over his face. Maybe the best two matches of Cena’s career here, except maybe for his ”MBVII” match with William Muldoon and his Wrestlemania XXII match with Triple H. I didn’t think I’d grade this match as high as I am. But it certainly deserves it. Grade: 4.5

Justin: Less than a month after their first title showdown, Great Gama gets a rematch here in a Last Man Standing war. For the second straight show, these two face off in the ring in what feels like a big time matchup. Great Gama had been built up so well and the flash loss to Cena didn’t hurt him at all. Cena came out aggressive but Great Gama quickly outbrawled him and started focusing on Cena’s ribs. The crowd was fairly pro-Cena here, which really helped the drama and heat of the match. They busted out some good weapons shots, including Great Gama missing a running bulldozer into the steel steps. The weapon shots led to some hot and exciting counting segments on each man. I really dug the selling and bumping by both men as they were busting their asses to put on a classic. Calling back to their previous match, Cena still couldn’t hit the FU on Great Gama and this time it led to major damage as Cena collapses forward and smashes his head on the steel steps that were in the ring. And that bump led to a nasty gusher by Cena as he fought to his feet with blood streaming down his face. Things degenerated into a stiff slugfest and Cena started a Rocky-esque comeback as he tried to gut his way back against the monster. Just when it looked like Cena was going to retain, Great Gama cut him off cold with a sick Samoan Drop, slamming Cena onto the mat shoulder-first. It was pretty scary to watch and I thought Cena might have been pretty hurt. By this point, Cena’s blood was really sick and added to the desperation of the match. Another plus to this bout was that there was no wasted move, everything made sense and mattered as these guys beat the crap out of each other. The bumps were kicked up a notch when Cena grabbed a TV monitor and smashed it across the top of Great Gama’s head, leading to a sickening thud. As both men were recovering in the ring, Jinder Mahal hopped on the apron with a wrench and proceeded to unhook the top rope. He would hand Great Gama the huge metal turnbuckle rod, but Mil Mascaras made the run- in and save! He took Jinder Mahal out of the equation, before letting the match continue unabated. Cena was able to wrestle it away and use it to his advantage. He would then finally hit the elusive FU, but it wasn’t enough. So, in an innovative, smart and awesome finish, Cena grabbed the broken top rope, wrapped it around Great Gama’s neck and locked in the STFU. He would finally relent, but Great Gama somehow stayed alive and began to fight to his feet. Before he could, Cena beat him back down and hooked the STFU choke on again, this time forcing Great Gama to pass out. Great Gama stayed strong in losing once again, surviving the first STFU and then passing out cold to finally be defeated (in an “unsanctioned match”, so technically his hallowed Undefeated Streak is still in tact). This was an all out war in front of a red-hot crowd and this is easily one of Cena’s greatest matches. This crazed brawl is a hidden gem and kicks off the Match of the Year campaign with a bang. Grade: 4.5

Winner (and STILL XPW Boston Champion): JOHN CENA



Post match, Jinder Mahal and his troops go to regain their heat back by attacking John Cena - but Mil Mascaras is on the scene to even the odds! He and Cena team up to eliminate the Evil Empire once and for all, leaving them to argue and bicker amongst themselves as they retreat... In the ring, time for the slow stare down between Cena & Mascaras... point to the "Fallout Festival" sign... handshake of mutual respect... hold up the Boston championship and fade out as the crowd cheers wildly...



** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

”CHAOS REIGNS”

** Officer Cabana is back with another stand-up sketch routine in which he (aka “Officer Jack Offerson”) runs down the list of perpetrators in XPW Remixed, on the way to declaring his entry into the Fallout Festival 20-Man Battle Royal and vowing a new era of law and punishment in XPW Remixed!!! **



His routine is interrupted by the BLKOut theme – enter Ruckus, Sabian and big Michael Tarver! They answer Cabana on the mic and body up to him in the ring… and with the threat of a full-on police assault brewing we are cut off by the Cali Cripplers! Enter “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce (w/ head coach Ad Santel)! The fancy robe-wearing former XPW Midwest Champion stands alongside Cabana and touts the supremacy of law & order, rules & regulations… just as a big donnybrook is about to erupt between the have’s and have not’s – enter the WEEDMAN to plead for peace! He tries briefly appealing to both sides, before Pearce & Cabana just shake their heads in disagreement and attack him! So BLKOut attack THEM! And chaos reigns! Weedman gets pitched over the top rope! Fans look to the top of the entrance ramp, and there’s “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble ushering his man MONDO KLEEN into the fray! Now a HUGE crowd pop as the “FRENCH ANGEL” (accompanied by Sammi Lane) chases them down! PG-13 with JTG! Ad Santel waves down the USO BROS! The ring is filled with a clash of titans! Sabian dives over the top rope onto Rumble! Michael Tarver uppercuts Officer Cabana over the top rope! Now French Angel is just going bananas, throwing EVERYBODY over the top rope! This is just chaos in XPW Remixed! Cut to commercial!

20-Man Battle Royal @ “FALLOUT FESTIVAL”!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

*****************




** BACKSTAGE PROMO **

XPW Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele (w/ secretary Jasmin St Claire) is having it out in the back conference room with former business associate The Grand Wizard… Steele is livid that TGW double-crossed him at the end of MBVII and sold a contracted match to Nick Gage… TGW blames it all on Steele for not crossing over to the Commission sooner and that his greed in trying to negotiate a new contract ruined everything… bicker, bicker, bicker… until XPW President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS enters the picture! He is pleased to see their discord, and announces the two foes will once again be forced to work together tonight - when Damien Steele joins The Sheik in the 5-on-5 “Fallout Survivors” Elimination tag team main event! TONIGHT! He chuckles to himself and exits stage left, while Steele & TGW fume and stare each other down… until TGW’s sunglass-covered eyes slowly stray towards Jasmine St Claire’s cleavage… followed by Steele‘s comedic indignition… fade out…


** VIDEO CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE PROMO **



Shane Douglas (2002) stands backstage with Lizzy Borden (2002) in a complete and total XPW Original flashback… he came back to XPW Remixed with one purpose in mind, and that was to validate THIS bad boy right here… (unsheathes the XPW Original championship belt)… he indicates that he and Lizzy have had their differences in the past (but she likes it rough, so that’s ok)… and have caught the s***-end of the stick here in XPW Remixed… they’re both sick of being treated like garbage instead of the fantasy wrestling GOLD they are… so tonight, Shane Douglas kicks the baggage of Triple Threat for good and kick that old bag Tammy Sytch while they’re at it… this is redemption of Shane Douglas as fantasy wrestling superstar, and the reintroduction of Lizzy Borden - manager of champions…


** CUT TO RING **

SHANE DOUGLAS w/ Lizzy Borden
versus
BIG SHAD G (w/ Sunny)


w/ versus w/

Video package of the Douglas/Triple Threat/Candido triangle + involvement of Lizzy Borden & Sunny to the picture… Douglas stood up for Candido’s mistreatment by Sunny & Gaspard, only to have Candido STILL side with Sunny like a chump and get banned from XPW Remixed (see XPW TV Episode #37)… now, Shane Douglas has picked himself up from the scrap heap, signed with the newest manager extraordinaire Lizzy Borden (fresh from her firing as Divisional VP) and brought back the ORIGINAL XPW championship… a title belt Shane Douglas claims HE NEVER LOST… Lizzy Borden and Sunny of course have their own personal axes to grind, and use their respective male talent to dish out the torture… short but concise brawl from the two men that tumbles from the ring, into the barricades and back inside the ring where a Lizzy Borden/Sunny catfight finally erupts… Shane Douglas KO’s a distracted Shad Gaspard with a chain shot for the final victory… postmatch he and Lizzy Borden grab Sunny by the hair, shake her violently and slap the shit out of her… then Douglas puts her over his knee and Lizzy Borden hikes up Sunny’s skirt and administers a blistering ass-spanking to finish the job… Douglas & Lizzy Borden pose together as the newest power duo in XPW Remixed, with a counterfeit gold belt to boot…

Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS


*************

** BACKSTAGE PROMO **

The Miz answers Honky Tonk Man's preposterous accusations, dismisses his claims, and focuses on his inclusion in the “Fallout Survivors” Main Event TONIGHT.


THE MIZ: I think it was actually the same. It just sort of falls into you. It's really kind of the same. It's just a bigger person than yourself. You know? Being on a reality show they do a lot of editing. They do a lot of random stuff. But in wrestling you only get one take. You only get one try. You kind of start falling into that character. On the Real World they stereotyped me as the frat boy - the stereotypical, All American frat boy. Now in wrestling it's kind of fallen into that phase where I'm the chick magnet, XPW Television champion! I'm a person that's gonna say what I want to do, and do what I want to do and make fun of everyone on the Dirt Sheet, and that's what I'm gonna do. It's kind of just me being me...

** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

THUMBTACK JACK (2009) w/ Sami Callihan
versus
“SICK” NICK MONDO (2002) w/... ?


w/ versus w/

“Sick” Nick Mondo enters first to Papa Roach’s “Last Resort”, and he looks sullen and composed as usual… finally Sami Callihan’s theme song strikes and he and Thumbtack Jack have their horror movie entrance… Thumbtack Jack is wielding various weaponry, including criss-crossing light tubes and a handful of medical syringes positioned between his fingers like a Freddy Krueger glove… so much for a “straight up wrestling match”… but the bare handed Nick Mondo is no fool! With Thumbtack Jack & Sami Callihan creeping to ringside, Mondo simply slithers under the ropes… reaches under the ring… AND RETREIVES A MUTHAPHUCKKIN WEEDWHACKER!!! The revving sound of the engine as he boldly presents the weapon mid-ring drives the crowd into a frenzy, and repels Thumbtack Jack & Callihan in fear! Mondo’s point has been made!



Now with a house mic in his hand, Mondo addresses TJ & Callihan – reiterates his quest for redemption in XPW Remixed – and introduces his corner man…. THE MESSIAH!!! When Fear Factory first starts playing the pop is tremendous, and Callihan looks about in wide-eyed shock (he thought he destroyed Messiah at “MBVII”)… Messiah slowly stalks to ringside, distracting the bad guys. In the ring, Mondo drops the weed whacker to pursue Thumbtack Jack on the apron, disarming him and pulling him over the top rope by his hair… match proceeds in brutal beat down fashion, with “Sick” Nick Mondo relentless in his application of torturous submission holds… Sami Callihan races about ringside, acting wild and driving the crowd into a frenzy… Messiah is more subdued, but just as intense in his ringside observations…. Mondo and Jack have a series of competent Indy-wrestling exchanges, with Mondo clearly riding a locomotive of momentum… he’s getting the better of Thumbtack Jack, and sure enough he tries to resort to weaponry… but Messiah intercepts the steel chair Callihan was trying to slide Jack and leaves the young German Death match wrestler to Mondo’s capable hands… but just as he’s about to score the victory with an “Assault Driver” finisher – Sami Callihan says “F IT” and makes the run-in… suddenly all 4 men are in the ring wildly brawling… on commentary Matt Striker says this isn’t the AWA where wrestlers get disqualified for having a hang nail! This fight will continue!



Sami Callihan and Thumbtack Jack break out the light tubes and steel chairs and clear out Messiah… but “Sick” Nick Mondo fights back… in a fury he ejects Callihan from the ring and beats the ever-loving snot out of Thumbtack Jack, flying into a rage more and more with every shot… with the crowd in a frenzy now, Mondo has the weed whacker in his hands again and revs it menacingly over Thumbtack Jack!!! The German Death Match wrestlers cowers, and begs off! He’s trapped on his hands and knees, pleading for mercy! The crowd wants him dead and lets Mondo know in no uncertain terms! He’s revving the weed whacker, ready to disembowel Jack… but he just can’t… conflict is written in Mondo’s face, as he hesitates to use the weapon… he glances at ringside where Messiah has risen to his feet and is gesturing for Mondo to use it! Be strong of faith; God says an eye for an eye! But Mondo drops the weed whacker and walks away!!! So of course the slimy snake Thumbtack Jack strikes him from behind with a low blow! He rolls up Mondo for the pin (and with a handful of pants too)! Big time boos for that one. Mondo goes down clutching his crotch, and Jack & Callihan put the boots to his body until Messiah clears them out by swinging a steel chair… Sami Callihan and Thumbtack Jack celebrate their victory as they slink back up the aisle… meanwhile, Mondo and Messiah share mutual looks of dissatisfaction and disappointment… video replays show it was Messiah who slid Mondo the weed whacker to use at the end of the match.

Winner: THUMBTACK JACK

** CUT **

** BACKSTAGE PROMO **

Words from the victorious Thumbtack Jack, and his demented mentor Sami Callihan… they have proved the strength of Xtreme wrestling and will continue to spread their plague… “Sick” Nick Mondo is WEAK and Messiah harbors a coward… more demonic double-speak from the forked tongue Callihan who will once again prove the nature of the beast is his to control, when he wins the “Fallout Survivors” main event TONIGHT!!!


** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

JON MOXLEY vs ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER (w/ The Grand Wizard)
(Impromptu Xtreme Rulez Bloodbath)

versus w/

If the first match was just an Xtreme tease, than this affair more than fulfills the ultraviolent quotient… segment starts with TGW in the ring (with a blindfolded hooded Abdullah the Butcher, looking as horrifying as ever)… aggressive, open mic promo against Jon Moxley – calling him “a dirty, flea-bitten, disgraceful cur” amongst other things… TGW is on a crusade to prove Moxley doesn’t deserve to breath the same air, and he will have Moxley removed from XPW Remixed! By hook or by crook! Tonight the TGW Open Challenge continues with his man Abdullah the Butcher ready to devour Jon Moxley! IF he’s man enough to answer the challenge! Which of course – the “Street Dog” is… Jon Moxley strides onto the top of the entrance ramp to the biggest pop thus far of his Territory Wars career… he cuts down TGW on the mic, promises to put his own name in lights, and ACCEPTS The Grand Wizard’s Open Challenge!... he races to the ring to begin a brawl with the Butcher before TGW can even bless him or remove the hood… wild slugfest with Moxley leading the charge and the rowdy XPW audience rocking along with every punch… they tumble from the ring and tear up the ringside area, concluding the “brawl through the crowd” part of our show this evening… quick, brutal and stiff the two maniacs slug, stab, jab and slice with Abdullah the Butcher using a fork with deadly intent… in a really awesome part, Abdullah the Butcher actually grabs a 40 oz beer bottle from a ringside spectator – SMASHES it against the ring post – and uses the glass shard as a shank on Moxley!



In the end, with the brawl having reached the top of the entrance ramp, Moxley has regained firm control and TGW is bugging out as his man Abdullah the Butcher teeters perilously on the entrance stage… so he calls for THE SHEIK! The OG Syran madman makes the run-in to attack Moxley from the rear… he and Abdullah briefly try to double-team him, before the inevitable miscue between the two miscreants… in this case, Sheik mistimed a fireball in Abdullah’s face – blinding him and allowing Moxley to hit a steel chair grand slam (taking out both Sheik and Abdullah with unprotected steel chair shots)… Moxley gets the pin – and with blood streaming down his face, defies TGW once more… TGW’s “Open Challenge” concludes at the Fallout Festival once and for all! Bring your best man, Moxley doesn’t care! Cuz if you beat Jon Moxley then he never belonged in XPW Remixed to begin with. So at Fallout Festival, Jon Moxley will face off against a mystery opponent of TGW’s choosing… if TGW wins then Moxley will bow down, kiss his feet and proclaim his greatness – a “slave” of sorts to TGW… but if Jon Moxley wins, he gets 5 minutes in the ring with THE GRAND WIZARD HIMSELF!!!! TGW initially doesn’t look like he wants to accept that stipulation, but with his manhood questioned and the rowdy, Roman Empire gladiator-like fans roaring behind him – TGW has no choice but to accept! Now Moxley is advancing upon TGW… but when the skinny manager tries to call for protection – Abdullah the Butcher & OG Sheik are brawling amongst themselves! Oh my TGW’s Monster Squad is once again bursting apart at the seams! Sheik and Abdullah tear up the set in their unholy brawl. Meanwhile Jon Moxley just stalks TGW with a psycho grin on his face... TGW is forced to FLEE the building for fear of his own LIFE!!! Jon Moxley is coming to the Fallout Festival to get a piece of TGW!!!!

Winner: JON MOXLEY

__________________________________________________________________________

** “Leaves XPW Remixed Match” **

B-BOY versus TONY ALTOMARE vs CURLY MOE vs JC ICE BABY

vs vs vs

Curly Moe, La Coka Nostra (aka “FBI”) and JC Ice Baby (w/ JTG) are already in the ring… XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt is in the ring for a brief proclamation… Fatal 4-Way “Loser Leaves XPW Remixed” match… he’s cut off and interrupted by Tony Altomare of La Coka Nostra… the tuff-talking Tony Soprano-parody complains to Mondt about his inclusion (citing some ridiculous reason why he shouldn’t compete) and winds up talking LIL GUIDO to take his place… he doesn’t really want to, but Altomare is da boss… so now Lil Guido will be competing on Tony Altomare’s behalf… NOW we’re interrupted by the theme song for the Cali Cripplers… enter head coach AD SANTEL (w/ his star pupil and prized butt-kisser Adam Pearce by his side)… brief promo from Santel reminding the world he runs the West Coast, and stating the contract of ex-Cripplers trainee B-Boy has been entered into this 4-way pool! In a heelish scam, Ad Santel makes Mister Mondt confirm the application and announce that because B-Boy NO-SHOWS THE MATCH HE AUTOMATICALLY FORFEITS! Some of the old territorial razzle-dazzle/sports commission bullshit that got countless wrestlers suspended and blackballed (including Sabu & Bruno Sammartino in XPW Remixed!) Ad Santel smirks with smug conviction… the rest of the opponents look relieved… Mister Mondt is about to end the match… when “Real Muthaphuckkin Gz” by Eazy E starts blasting through the arena sound system! Re-introducing B-BOY!!!



Straight West Coast thug life here, with the crowd responding favorably to B-Boy’s reappearance… he takes a few moments to taunt Santel & Pearce on the mic (“cuz real n****z don’t die!!!”) and enter himself into this match with the force of a shotgun shell! B-Boy races to the ring and we’re off!... brief affair with Curly Moe embarrassing JC Ice Baby (before JTG sucker punches Curly Moe out of spite) and B-Boy outfoxing Lil Guido on the mat… B-Boy is on fire – overcoming interference attempts from Tony Altomare… dodging, and then KICKING Adam Pearce in the face on the ring apron – before crushing Lil Guido with his “delikado” finisher for the pin! Post match, B-Boy goes buckwild on the mic challenging Santel’s dominion over the West coast and promising to RIDE ON EM!!! Meanwhile, Toots Mondt is informing Tony Altomare that because of the substitution and loss – THE ENTIRE LA COKA NOSTRA TEAM IS BEING RELEASED FROM XPW REMIXED!!! That’s Lil Guido, Tony Mamaluke AND Big Sal E. Graziano! They’re flipping out as somehow their bosses actions have led to THEM being released while he stays employed… go figure…



Winner: B-BOY

** CUT **

******************



BRUNO SAMMARTINO (Backstage promo w/ MSD where Bruno explains why he keeps fighting the good battle here in XPW Remixed, the most depraved fantasy wrestling organization in history) But my God aren’t wrestlers human beings? You hear all of these wrestlers dying, how could they not look into it to see what they can do so this will stop? We can start and these deaths can stop, the deaths can disappear, so many broken hearts, children losing their dads, women losing their husbands, and all of these tragedies. I find it appalling that all of this time and nobody’s done anything! So I'm here to end corruption in Fantasy Wrestling for good! And it starts by taking my title back at "Fallout Festival"!!!

** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

”WRATH OF A WOMAN SCORNED”
(Chyna's Rampage)



Segment actually starts with a female tag match – with Alexxis Nevaeh & Wendy Richter (future opponents @ Fallout Festival) teaming up against the returning Tamina & Raesha Saeed… with current XPW Woman’s champion ANNIE SOCIAL as special bikini-clad referee… they get a few exchanges (with Neveah & Richter in particular getting a chance to shine) before the inevitable run-in and rampage by a crazed Chyna (with her evil, mind-influencing manager Lizzy Borden)… Chyna crashes the ring, clotheslining Tamina over the top rope (while Raisha Seed flees)… Wendy Richter and Alexxis Neveah try to come at Chyna but she outsizes and clobbers them both in brutal fashion… finally she confronts Annie Social, who goes face to chest with the massive Chyna, yelling and snapping her fingers the entire time… but Lizzy Borden catches Annie Social by the hair from the rear, and Chyna quickly choke slams the champion in the center of the ring… Chyna and Lizzy Borden pose over her Annie Social’s writhing body, before cutting another mean, sexist promo on Mildred Burke (“shut the **** up!” chants from the crowd)…



Mildred Burke finally hears enough and stands boldly upon the entrance ramp to answer them, the crowd cheering their support… she gets Borden & Chyna off their game so much with Depression era-tough talk, that they don’t even notice the woman of XPW Remixed gathering their senses behind them… Richter & Neveah spring into action with a double dropkick, ejecting Chyna from the ring… meanwhile Annie Social gets her hands on Lizzy Borden’s head, and launches her like a helicopter out of the ring by her golden locks… the 3 woman regain control of the ring, before slowly mouthing off to each other beneath the giant “Fallout Festival” banner (while Annie Social holds up her championship belt)… meanwhile Mildred Burke smirks contently as Chyna and Lizzy Borden are once again sent off the handle into a furious tizzy…

XPW Woman's Championship 3-Way!

Mildred Burke vs Chyna in a steel cage!

Only at FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!


** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contenders Fatal 4-Way Match **

FABULOUS KANGAROOS (w/ Wild Red Berry)
versus
USO's (w/ Tamina & Ad Santel)
versus
HAVANA PITBULLS
versus
BLKOUT


versus
versus

XPW Remixed tag team champion (Real) Kings of Wrestling enter first in street clothes to assume guest commentary duties beside commentators Gordon Solie & Matt Striker… The (Real) Kings of Wrestling are Phil “Gunner” Shatter (2013), Austin Idol (1982) and valet Jessica Darlin (2001)… on commentary they do NOT seem to be on the same page, with some bickering and Gunner telling Darlin to shut her mouth at one point, at which Idol talks back to Gunner… Each team introduced separately, with the Fabulous Kangaroos entering last (alongside their manager Wild Red Berry)… Solie & Striker inform you that the FabKangs were late additions to this match, after the Juggalo Ninjas (MadMan Pondo & Necro Butcher) were destroyed and removed from competition on XPW TV Episode #37… so the FabKangs are late replacements… but that’s fine with Wild Red Berry, who infuriates the audience with another pompous, self-deluded, wordy promo touting the superiority of the Fabulous Kangaroo fighting team… “USA OK!!! AMERICA #1!!!”



Havana Pitbulls are instant babyfaces on offense as they take it to the FabKangs… fan favorite BLKOut battle it out with Ad Santel’s tag team the Usos… (Real) KoW don’t particularly show respect to any of the teams, noting they’ve defeated BLKOut very convincingly before… they seem to be more concerned with putting themselves over and petty bickering… in the end, none other than B-BOY makes the run-in through the crowd to get his hands on Ad Santel… which causes the Uso’s to leave the ring and protect their coach… Ruckus & Sabian take to the skies to join the fray and a wild, unmanageable brawl has now broken out on the arena floor… Havana Pitbulls have well enough in hand, about to execute their “Cuban Missile Crisis” finisher upon FabKang #2 (aka Roy Heffernan)… until a picture-perfect interference scheme by “Wild” Red Berry leads to Rocky Romero of the Pitbulls catching a wooden cane shot to the back of the head… KO, and Fab Kang #1 (aka Al Costello) picks up the pinfall! Berry & and his boys celebrate wildly in the ring, waving their American and Australian flags proudly and doing their goofy little salute… B-Boy and Santel are still being pried apart, and BLKOut only add to the confusion with their street fighting and thuggish antics… (Real) KoW storm off commentary and stare stoically and intensely at their new challengers the Fabulous Kangaroos (who continue to celebrate obliviously in the ring).

Winners: FABULOUS KANGAROOS

__________________________________________________________________________

DAVID OTUNGA INTRODUCES “FOCUS”



Brief video introduction from David Otunga, pitching his idea for “FOCUS” - the newest in fantasy wrestling marketing, strategizing and booking. And ladies and gentleman, in conjunction with Gold Dust Trio Inc, David Otunga will introduce the first signing to his FOCUS sports agency at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL! Folks, you do NOT want to miss this reveal… Otunga’s newest introduction to the Territory Wars will revolutionize the entire genre of fantasy wrestling. This is bar none, hands down THE biggest transaction in Territory Wars HISTORY. Bear witness as David Otunga and FOCUS become legends at the Fallout Festival…
__________________________________________________________________________

”DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER”



This is a reminder segment for those who may need it… a “refresher course” of sorts… starts with the billion dollar trust fund douche bag duo of Matt Morgan and Alex Riley (accompanied by Missy Hyatt 1990) in the ring touting their greatness… impassioned promo from each highlighting their devastating run through XPW Remixed (making themselves out to sound like world beaters) and toasting to their effortless captain “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers (unable to be here tonight due to a prior press engagement)… Of course their egocentric, Boiler Room boasts are interrupted and answered by Ezekiel Jackson… the jacked-up muscleman answers them from the top of the entrance ramp, getting a few moments to growl and threaten them ominously, before beginning his charge to ringside where he fully intends on spearing them both… but before he can, none other than the “absent” Nature Boy Buddy Rogers appears from the entrance curtain with a crowbar… whack to the back of Jackson’s knee, and just like that Rogers is taking him apart in the entrance aisle… his Diamond Dynasty cohorts whoop and clap joyously at the beat down… Figure-4 leglock… Buddy Rogers is still in this game, and after he takes out Jackson at “Fallout Festival” he’s coming for HIS XPW Remixed championship! Rogers has beaten Ezekiel Jackson before most convincingly! (see “Rapture”) And at the Fallout Festival he’ll do it again! Because Diamonds are Forever!!!

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE PROMO FROM XPW CHAMPION LOU THESZ **


LOU THESZ: You may not believe this, but it is the first ending of a century I have approached.. I don't remember what professional wrestling was like at the beginning of the century, but I can claim the middle. When I first became interested in wrestling, at 8 years of age, it was a different world, and my generation changed it somewhat. While I like to remember only the part that makes me proud, even the early years were not without the performers. Wrestlers like Ed Lewis are the part of professional wrestling I have chosen to recall. I cannot help but wonder what he would say about today's offerings. Knowing him as well as I did, I don't think he would be upset about it. Ed really had a live and let live attitude. But XPW Remixed is simply out of control... and I'm the new sheriff in town that wil clean it up.

** CUT TO RING **

** MAIN EVENT **

Sammartino, Thesz, Gage, Sheamus & MIZ
versus
Samoa Joe, OG Sheik, Steele, Callihan & Bigelow


** "FALLOUT SURVIVORS ELIMINATION TAG MATCH" **


versus


5 on 5 “Survivor Series”-styled elimination match… called a “Fallout Survivors Tag” match, the comparisons are obvious… but the classics never go out of style, and with the XPW Remixed twist it’s like a brand new match…. The match interplay and character development of each are the main highlights here… Thesz & Sammartino remarkably show little to no interaction between them, preferring almost to snub the either entirely… Damien Steele argues vehemently (and comically, I must add) with The Grand Wizard at ringside -and that affects his relationship with tag partner Sheik… meanwhile Sami Callihan & Samoa Joe display a rabid, stiff ferociousness that’s answered only by Nick Gage’s bold and brazen offensive style… Bam Bam tries to dodge Sheamus as much as possible, which is to say - not much at all… the Miz plays baby face in peril for the most part…

ORDER OF ELIMINATION

#1 & #2: Sheamus & Bam Bam Bigelow (Brawl to a double countout)

#3: Sami Callihan (distracted by Messiah’s “congregation” in the audience - fans with “HOLY FN S***” shirt and ejected from the match for fighting with fans, ala Ron Artest in Detroit)

#4: MIZ (Honky Tonk Man showed up out of nowhere to BLAST Miz in the head with a guitar shot, causing him to fall unconscious into Samoa Joe’s kokina clutch… where his arm dropped 3 times)

#5: OG Sheik (By count out, when he inexplicably chooses to run from the ring and flee backstage instead of facing a fresh Lou Thesz in the ring… later camera cuts will find him backstage brawling once again with Abdullah the Butcher while TGW futilely tries to separate them)

#6: Nick Gage (Surprise, sneak-attack roll up from Damien Steele.. Cheap victory after Gage was violently involved with Samoa Joe, but Steele celebrates it obnoxiously like he just won the championship… Nick Gage has to be escorted out by security as Steele’s taunting becomes too much)

#7: “Real Deal” Damien Steele (tandem release Tbone suplex from Bruno into an STF submission by Thesz… Steele taps out instantly)

#8: Samoa Joe (The Samoan suplex machine embraces the two-on-one handicap situation, especially when it becomes clear Thesz & Sammartino are NOT on the same page… they aren’t working together well, and Joe is able to isolate each of them at one point.. But eventually the tandem becomes too much, and Samoa Joe is coming close to gassing out again… something that helped lead to his loss against Sammartino @ “MBVII”… “conditioning”… but tonight, when the odds are completely stacked against him, Joe rolls to the outside of the ring, grabs a chair, and goes absolutely berserk… senseless, remorseless, violent, steel chair-assisted beat down on BOTH Thesz and Sammartino, leaving each of them a bloody, concussed mess… Samoa Joe is relentless in his assault, going so far as to clobber any referees, bystanders, camera men or security that may get in his way! Complete blood lust by Joe here! He is in the throes of attempting to destroy Thesz’ knee with the chair, when FINALLY back-up arrives in the form of Dan Severn & Drake Younger (two of Lou Thesz’ “Shooters Club” trainers)… Samoa Joe smugly retreats from the ring, still holding the dented steel chair, and championship blood staining his chest and sprayed upon his face… both champion and challenger have been left in bloody heaps in the ring…)

”Winners”: LOU THESZ & BRUNO SAMMARTINO



** FADE OUT **
__________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL


A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of every fantasy wrestling fan... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!



** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz © vs Bruno Sammartino

Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)

“Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers (1963) vs Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Sheamus

** XPW Woman's Championship **
Annie Social © vs Wendy Richter vs Alexxis Nevaeh

20-Man Battle Royal

Nick FN Gage © versus "Real Deal" Damien Steele
(“ Loser Leaves XPW Remixed” Match)

** XPW Boston Championship **
John Cena (2005) © versus Mil Mascaras (1975)

Jon Moxley vs "Mystery Opponent" (w/ TGW)

__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

Scott & Justin: Royal Rumble 2007 review
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: CamelClutchBlog (10/11/10)
LOU THESZ: WrestlingClassics.com feature (2000)
THE MIZ: BuddyTV Interview (3/27/09)







[Edited on 3-25-2012 by mastermind]

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 3-29-2012 at 02:46 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #14





Cut to the in-studio (guest) hosts for the show:



SHANE DOUGLAS & LIZZY BORDEN!!!

In a surprising twist, instead of the usual host, we have these two - consumed with bitterness and flush with victorious arrogance... due to the humiliation of the "crack whore" (according to Borden) on XPW TV Episode #38, Shane Douglas & Lizzy Borden will now be assuming guest hosting duties... Shane Douglas goes on a mini-rant, holds up his "Original" XPW Championship, and declares his imminent arrival at the Fallout Festival, where he guarantees they will make an impact... Lizzy Borden closes by offering more threatening words for the women of XPW, and Mildred Burke in particular, saying that Chyna is here to stay...

SHANE DOUGLAS: I’m also getting ready to start working with Lizzy on some movies, choreographing some fight scenes, helping post-produce them. We're taking over XPW Remixed... AGAIN! Actually, it’s something I’m most excited about right now because we’re attempting to do something that wrestling had always been averse to and avoided like the plague.



** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

THUMBTACK JACK versus DANNY HAVOC
(“Rubber Room Madness” Match )

w/ versus

Reflections from the announce team on the XPW Remixed history shared by Thumbtack Jack & Danny Havoc (starting with their rebirth as Death Match wrestlers under Doink ReBourne’s insane tutelage)… they’ve split a pair of matches before (see XPW TV Episode #14 for Danny Havoc’s XPW Remixed origin story…. And once again in the main event of XPW Online #6 which Havoc won)… now Thumbtack Jack has aligned with the demonic Sami Callihan and grown even more brazen … he disrespected Havoc’s wife publically (see XPW TV Episode #37) leading to Havoc making this challenge here… rubber match for the pair, and in honor we have this depraved Death match affair… a match demanded by Thumbtack Jack & Callihan, and accepted by Danny Havoc… match is a showcase for Thumbtack Jack's depraved creativity as Havoc bumps and sells for him like a madman... Sami Callihan is a presence at ringside, and turns the tide in Jack's favor multiple times...

Winner: THUMBTACK JACK



Jack finally finishes Havoc, but must answer to "SICK" NICK MONDO on the video wall! The dark anti-hero grimly addresses his tormentors, and reiterates his desire to seperate himself from "death match" wrestling... which is why he's challenging Sami & TJ to end their blood feud once and for all at the Fallout Festival.... "No mercy, no rules, no regrets..." and even if he must stray from the path of righteousness to end their path of destruction, Mondo has accepted The Messiah into his life... enter Messiah into the promo on the video wall... he encourages Mondo's abstinence, but also subtly encourages him to embrace the hate... "an eye for an eye"... but if Mondo can't find the strength to finish Callihan & Jack for good, that's why Messiah is here... because he won't hesistate to lay down the hand of God upon them!!!

Thumbtack Jack & Sami Callihan vs "Sick" Nick Mondo & MESSIAH!!!

"No Rules, No Regrets" match!

Only at "FALLOUT FESTIVAL"!!!


***************


SHANE DOUGLAS: I thought it would be moronic to do it. Right now we’re looking at doing six of those Ultimate Death Matches – each one being a stand alone, so it wouldn’t have to have a story line or a string drawing all of them together, although there would be some overlapping story.


LIZZY BORDEN: I like horror movies and scary stuff like that. I always liked the story of Lizzie Borden. But it works really well for wrestling - people who cross me better beware. I'm fully capable of having a mean streak....

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BREAKING NEWS **
(RE: Main Event Title Match @ Fallout Festival)


** As a result of his vicious attack upon both champion & challenger on XPW TV Episode #38... Samoa Joe has been FINED & SUSPENDED... he will be absent from the Fallout Festival, to insure the main event end conclusively. **

** GDT Inc owners Ed "Strangler" Lewis & Joe "Toots" Mondt have struck while the iron is hot - they've officially announced the main event will now be an "IRON MAN MATCH"... there is speculation from some that this stipulation was added to stretch the already-exerted, injured bodies of Thesz & Sammartino further - potentially eliminating each from the XPW Remixed main event scene for good... something Lewis & Mondt have been plotting ever since Thesz & Bruno refused to play ball with them... **

”WORDS FROM THE CHALLENGER”


MSD: You're back as #1 contender in XPW Remixed, a position you held before an injury setback. How does it feel to be returning to the main event of Fallout Festival in NYC of all places?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: The crowds in New York were phenomenal and I don't want to just mention Madison Square Garden because Boston Garden, Philadelphia and many other places were great too but I use to get goose-bumps when I would walk out to the ring in the Garden... 22,000 people would start chanting "Bruno, Bruno, Bruno!" But I never knew why I got that kind of reaction. I only knew it gave me goose-bumps to hear it! In those days we didn't play music to entice people we simply walked out to the ring... people were just that explosive. The Garden was the biggest for me but the same thing would happen at the Boston Garden, the Philadelphia Spectrum, and the Capital Center in Washington or the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh. We [XPW Remixed] have the biggest arenas in the northeast when there were several different wrestling promotions around the country!


MSD: To this day you're a wrestling diety in New York, Boston and PA... how do you explain that connection to your fans?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: A lot of newspaper guys would always ask me when I was at the Garden, "What is it that makes these people explode when they see you walk out?" I wish I was smart enough to know the answer to that but I still don't know. I think they appreciated the fact that I was a regular guy and a big guy. I guess they felt like I was just one of them, which I really was! One time a newspaper man in Boston wrote that a thief could have a field day on the north end of Boston when Sammartino was in town because everyone was at the Boston Garden! It was the same kind of explosion there when I walked into the arena. I was a guy that just went into the ring in a pair of tights and my boots and it wasn't like I had a robe or any kind of flamboyant look about me. I was just a plain guy but a big guy because of the training that I did. For a guy that came from that era I trained like a horse and never touched any chemicals which tragically came into play in the business. I'm proud of that!


MSD: When did pro wrestling fall from grace?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: I think it all changed back in '83-84 when all the drastic changes took place in the sport. It became more appealing to the younger generation who wanted to see beautiful women just about naked and hear the profanity which they thought was cool or whatever. That kind of stuff does not have the longevity that we had. That's why they don't go to Madison Square Garden more than four times a year. They come to Pittsburgh maybe twice a year. People say that it is bigger now! It may be big on TV. But not in the arenas! They're not getting the people like we did!


MSD: Does it have something to do with Rav-P and his WWF?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: It's my opinion that it happened when Vince McMahon JR. took over after his father passed on. Then Rav P started hiring what I call "non-wrestling people" and trying to follow McMahon's way - thinking it was the way to go. They really weren't knowledgeable about the business or its history. These changes all came about at that time!


MSD: What did you think about Samoa Joe coming out and calling guys like you and Thesz "fake". How'd that make the old guard feel? And what about his brutal attack on you and Thesz at the end of XPW TV Episode #38? He got suspended for that.


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: It made me feel bad and I'll tell you why: He was ridiculous in saying that. He had no business saying that because he didn't know the history of the sport. If he went back to the days of wrestlers like Stanislaus Zybysko and guys from his time he would see that it was completely real. They may not have been the most exciting matches to watch but it was very real. Another thing is this, I didn't consider it quite like that because we wrestled in the same rings that they had boxing in. Those things were like concrete! When you took the slams there was nothing fake about any of that stuff! I had many injuries with my back, knees and broke my neck in 1976. I had back surgeries and I don't mean just a little disc surgery but I had spurs that had grown all over my back from the trauma. They were very, very serious operations. But you know, I think I'm in good shape!


MSD: So what made you take this stand in XPW Remixed?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: It bothers me so much and I can't watch it now. I loved the business and respected it and to see what has happened to it since those days hurts me, embarrasses me and angers me! That's why I'm back in Fantasy Wrestling. Rather than put myself through all that I just refuse to quit and admit defeat... and I have not for many, many years.

MSD: Your cold war feud with Lou Thesz is legendary over the years. How would you say he compares to your past opponents?


BRUNO SAMMARTINO: I wouldn't call this one a feud just because of the way it happened. When I broke my back with Stan Hansen it became a really, really big deal. The one with Zybysko was great! We did 46,000 people in Shea Stadium! We sold out every arena we went to. According to the police department in places like the Garden they had to turn 5,000-6,000 people away. A place called the Felt Forum had an extra 4,500 people and still they had to turn people away! In the sixties I had a feud with Bill Watts that was extremely successful and another with Spiros Arion that was also great! We did huge business with that! I fully intend on selling the building out with Thesz at Fallout Festival. But me and Lou, we had success not necessarily because of the feud but because we went into the arena and gave great matches and that brought the matches back. The people really appreciate that kind of wrestling. It's happening at the time! This is the season for sportsmanship in Fantasy Wrestling!!!

** XPW Remixed Championship Match **

Lou Thesz (champion) versus Bruno Sammartino (challenger)

"IRON MAN MATCH!!!"

Only at Fallout Festival!!!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"FALLOUT FESTIVAL HYPE"

”TURNING UP THE HEAT IN BOSTON”



Video footage of the press conference (shot in Boston) of John Cena and Mil Mascaras’ official contract signing… Cena has resorted to the cockier, disrespectful antics of his Dr of Thuganomics run… showing up to the press conference to face a suit-and-mask wearing Mil Mascaras with a Larry Bird throwback jersey and metal lock around his neck, Naughty-by-Nature-style… they do their duty, pose for pictures and sign the paperwork (all with Cena rocking a consistent scowl)… and when it comes time to face off for the photo, Cena concludes by asking for the mic briefly to address his challenger at “Fallout Festival”…


JOHN CENA: I'm about to show you how I whoop a Latino/ you run from me like you run from El Nino/ Hot like jalapeños stuck on an enchilada, I'm a rottweiler you're a Mexican Chihuahua/ You gets nada - don't bother the crew bro/ stick to salsa and listen to Manudo/ You hate me cuz I'm white? That's reverse discrimination. I hate you for two words - "illegal immigration"/ Yo sit back and relax, listen to the boss. You work at Taco Bell handing me the mild sauce/ Take a loss - know that you're phony. I got coconuts... y'all got no cahones...

Filled with righteous indignation, Mascaras lunges at Cena – sparking a mini riot at the press both… a smirking Cena has to be escorted away, still holding his Boston championship high… while Mascaras’ handlers try to calm him down… commentators remind you that Fallout Festival takes place in NYC, and may prove to be VERY hostile territory for Cena – who seems to be setting that stage early in his psychological battle with Mascaras…


********************

** SANDMAN CALLS OUT POGO the CLOWN **



Brief, impassioned, beer-swilling promo from the returning Sandman – who found his triumphant re-entry into XPW Remixed pissed on by a vengeful Pogo the Clown (see XPW Online #13)… now Sandman is calling Pogo the Clown OUT to meet him at Fallout Festival! Sandman is the true Icon of XXXTREEEEME!!!!


******************

** THE MOST MUST-SEE OF ALL TIME **



An angry MIZ cuts an intense promo, addressing the guitar-shot attack he suffered at the hands of Honky Tonk Man (see XPW TV Episode #38)… HTM has awoken a sleeping beast, and at Fallout Festival the MIZ will be prove he is the single greatest entertainer in XPW Remixed when he defeats the Honky Tonk Man!!! XPW TV title on the line!!!

** Mascaras vs Cena (Boston championship) **

** Sandman calls out Pogo the Clown! Will he answer?? **

** MIZ defends the TV title against Honky Tonk Man!!! **

Only at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!



**************


SHANE DOUGLAS: We’re aiming to shoot a movie in December and we’re attempting to make it a SAG production, which will give the wrestlers who are involved the option to join the Screen Actors Guild, which would get them health benefits and optional 401K. That’s something that for 27 years in the business, I could never understand how we weren’t with SAG. It costs no additional money to do it, but you do have to relinquish some of the control – a very minimal amount. But it’s like most typical unions – you aren’t allowed to work over a certain amount of hours per day, that sort of thing. I think the benefits that come from being part of SAG far outweigh the negatives from the wrestlers’ standpoint.


LIZZY BORDEN: I really don't care. Fans are there for both wrestling and T&A. That's what they need so it doesn't bother me at all. I'm lucky I have a role where I get to be more than just eye candy on the shows. People got to really despise the Lizzy Borden character in XPW. Shane and I are the most hated people in the company. It's not just me saying that either - That's what the fans think. We have a poll on our website and fans can vote for their most popular and most hated wrestlers and people in XPW. When I was just some girl they brought out for T&A I was popular. But as the boss' wife, the fans really turned on me. But it's all a part of the show. I loved being eye candy then, and now it doesn't bother me either.


____________________________________________________________________________________

"SUN RISES IN THE EAST"

[color=limegreen]”The Solid Man” and head coach of Olympia fight camp WILLIAM MULDOON takes the ring for an impassioned plea to former student Hakushi Kuro… he offers a brief history lesson for the fans on their rise through the XPW Remixed, until Hakushi’s injury at the hands of Jinder Mahal (see XPW TV Episode #33)… Hakushi became a casualty of the Olympia/Evil Empire war… Muldoon wants to know what happened? Why did Hakushi literally turn away from the light to become “black” (Japanese = “kuro”)? Muldoon demands an answer and calls out Hakushi – hoping they can squash this beef once and for all…



New mysterious laser/light show/pyro display for Hakushi Kuro’s entrance… gone is the “White Angel” motif, replaced with that ninja star logo and black arcane symbols… he walks slowly to the ring, and stands before Muldoon with those blank, uncaring, all-white eyes… Muldoon pleads with Hakushi, but he remains silent and stoic… William Muldoon even talks himself into turning his back on Hakushi – offering himself up as a sacrifice of sorts, or maybe to prove he still “trusts” his former student… Hakushi doesn’t attack Muldoon… instead he simply turns and walks away… But William Muldoon craves an explanation, and lays a hand on Hakushi’s shoulder to stop him from leaving… FWOOOSH! With cat like quickness Hakushi BLASTS Muldoon in the face with BLACK MIST!!! Muldoon is down on the mat, eyes burning and stinging… NOW Hakushi speaks – but only with abrupt and severe violence… he murdalizes Muldoon with an array of ninjitsu strikes and kicks… when Olympia trainee Tomasso Ciampa makes the heroic run-in, Hakushi uses a steel chair to take the kid out again (see XPW Online #13)… with Ciampa down, Hakushi goes back to brutalizing Muldoon… last image is a battered, nearly-conscious Muldoon on his knees staring up at Hakushi with heartbreak in his eyes, silently asking “WHY???” Hakushi Kuro simply finishes with a steel-chair assisted buzz kick to Muldoon’s kneeling head, instantly KO’ing him and causing a torrent of bloodflow… Hakushi Kuro slinks away as dark and mysteriously as he arrived, never taking his ghost-white pupils from Muldoon’s unmoving body…



Mentor vs Traitorous Student!!! Only at FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

DAVID OTUNGA INTRODUCES "FOCUS"



"Coming attraction" video, like a blockbuster Hollywood video, introducing "FOCUS"... another brief video from David Otunga, pitching it - the newest in fantasy wrestling marketing, strategizing and booking. And ladies and gentleman, in conjunction with Gold Dust Trio Inc, David Otunga will introduce the first signing to his FOCUS sports agency at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL! Folks, you do NOT want to miss this reveal… Otunga’s newest introduction to the Territory Wars will revolutionize the entire genre of fantasy wrestling. This is bar none, hands down THE biggest transaction in Territory Wars HISTORY. Bear witness as David Otunga and FOCUS become legends at the Fallout Festival…

Watch FALLOUT FESTIVAL for the live reveal!!!

You do NOT want to miss this announcement!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"A SOPHISTICATED TITLE DEFENSE"



Another wordy, preposterous, pretentious promo from “Wild” Red Berry in the ring to open this segment… his boys the Fabulous Kangaroos and Bam Bam Bigelow (1998) are behind him… he introduces the Fabulous Kangaroos as true American heroes and the next XPW Tag Team champions… and Bam Bam Bigelow as the man that will end Sheamus’ run in XPW Remixed… “Wild” Red Berry then graciously introduces the XPW Tag Team champions to the ring, as bastions of sportsmanship and the epitome of class and respect (more tongue-in-cheek irony from the team that has the same patriotic theme as Fabulous Rougeou Bros 1989 or Kurt Angle 1999 – the Fabulous Kangaroos in XPW Remixed)… The (Real) Kings of Wrestling enter in street clothes with faux-dignity and exaggerated, over-the-top manners and friendliness towards “Wild” Red Berry and his men… the (Real) KoW are Phil “Gunner” Shatter (2013), Austin Idol (1982) and Jessica Darlin (2002)… oh the honor, privilege, dignity, class, blah blah blah… Berry, FabKangs & (Real) KoW are so over-the-top with their outlandish complimenting and gratuitous butt-kissing, that the entire segment can’t help but be interrupted by a raging babyface just as sick of this schlock as the viewing audience… in this case it’s the Celtic Warrior Sheamus (2012) – who comes barreling from the locker room to confront them on the mic… his tough-talking Irish war stories draw the crowds favor and turns the bad guys against each other - as now heel ego drives the (Real) KoW and FabKangs to angrily confront each other...




But that quickly subsides at Red Berry's urging, and with his master manipulation he turns the tides of war back in his gangs favor once more. Now (Real) KoW and FabKangs are united against Sheamus - and Gunner & Idol are about to stomp Sheamus out on the entrance ramp, when suddenly – the street clothes-clad HAVANA PITBULLS (Ricky Reyes & Rocky Romero) 2004 run in through the crowd! They go after the FabKangs, and with Sheamus’ help quickly clear out the entire ring – leaving the (Real) KoW and Berry’s camp LIVID outside the ring! Sheamus on the mic again - because of the result of their Double Count-out on XPW TV Episode #38, Sheamus wants his fight with Bam Bam Bigelow to be “Falls Count Anywhere”!




Sheamus vs Bam Bam!
And the Havana Pitbulls have Sheamus' back!

(Real) KoW defend against the Fabulous Kangaroos!!!

Only at FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!



*****************


LIZZY BORDEN: Our shows have more drama. Our finances are in better order. There is a reason we have guys like Shane Douglas, and Sabu wanting to work here. Our violent stuff is a lot more violent than anything in the Territory Wars We had to switch our timeslot, because they felt we were more for mature audiences. We had a King of Deathmatch tournament. I've seen a lot of old ECW tapes, and there was a time when they were more extreme. We are just more extreme. Here they are suing us over the use of the word and our shows are really more extreme - The girls, the violence, the angles.

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

”NICK GAGE RUNS THE GAUNTLET”



Damien Steele (XPW Commissioner) is still fretting about the KotDM he’s being forced to compete in at “Fallout Festival” (see XPW Online #13)… he thinks he found a solution… Nick Gage can’t take the fight at the PPV if he’s in a coma! Therefore Steele, using his booking and match-making stroke, has ordered an insane, no-holds-barred gauntlet match for Gage… hoping to crush the reigning King of the Death match for good and save his own hide at the “Fallout Festival”…



Atsushi Onita (d):The self-proclaimed “Sabu Hunter” came equipped with his trusty tranquilizer gun, but Gage caught him up in a brawl and wound up reversing into a powerbomb upon a flaming set of cinderblocks



”Shooter” Tony Jones (d): - Steele threatened to go the other way now, by adding a “policeman” or “enforcer” to the match... somebody that could hook Gage and cripple him – enter the “Shooter” Tony Jones… who quickly gets manhandled when Gage uses a Greco-roman steel chair shot and brainbuster on him



Wolfie D (of PG-13) (d):Commissioner Damien Steele flip flops again after see Gage running through his minions… infuriated he calls for some low-life hardcore street thugs to answer Gage’s rampage! Enter PG-13!!! Lol the “Malibu’s Finest” irony… at first JTG is all about talking big about fighting Gage… but when the current KotDM champion unsheathes the light tubes, JTG is outta there! That leaves black Raiders coat-wearing Wolfie D to get the weapon-infused beat down from Gage… when JC Ice Baby and JTG try to use the numbers advantage to their benefit late in the match with a 3 on – 1 beat down, aid comes in the form of Gage’s BLKOut back-up! Sabian, Ruckus & Michael Tarver clear out the rest of the PG-13 poseurs for Gage to finish Wolfie D… bodyslam on glass/ top rope frog splash for the win



Dick Shikat (d): - Now Damien Steele is LIVID – and though Gage is winded, he is as defiant as ever… Steele rips off his suit coat like HE’S gonna finish the job, talking about “real shooters and bone breakers”… when suddenly – a ready for action DICK SHIKAT runs in from the crowd to attack Gage from behind! Damien Steele just smirks from his perch on the entrance ramp and watches the set-up unfold… the old school hooker keeps Gage grounded on the mat, twisting and applying a series of deadly submission holds – hoping to wrench, snap or break something… now Steele feels safe enough to approach (when Gage is locked up Shikat’s dangerous chicken wing) to taunt Gage with the mic – yelling, screaming and taunting him to “QUIT”! BLKOut members Sabian, Ruckus & Tarver try to come back through the crowd but Damien Steele has security intercept them and EJECT THEM FROM THE BUILDING! Meanwhile, Gage is still locked in the chicken wing with Steele telling him to quit! Shikat releases the hold to focus a double-team on Gage… but of course Steele’s cocky egocentricity gets the best of him – and he winds up clubbing Dick Shikat with a steel chair by mistake (some of that ‘ol “I hold you but you move out of the way as my partner swings a chair at my head” izh)… A bloody Gage viciously finishes Shikat with a DVD onto a chair... he's pinning Shikat, while screaming and threatening a paralyzed with fear Damien Steele at ringside... despite his shenanigans, Gage is still alive - and ready to take Steele's life at the Fallout Festival!!!

Winner: NICK GAGE



** King of the Death Match championship **
Nick FN Gage © versus "Real Deal" Damien Steele
("Loser Leaves XPW Remixed" Match)


** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL


A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of every fantasy wrestling fan... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!



** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz © vs Bruno Sammartino
(Iron Man Match)

Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)

"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers (1963) vs Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

Bam Bam Bigelow (1998) w/ Wild Red Berry vs Sheamus (2012)
(Falls Count Anywhere Match)

** XPW Woman's Championship **
Annie Social © vs Wendy Richter vs Alexxis Nevaeh

William Muldoon vs Hakushi Kuro

20-Man Battle Royal

** King of the Death Match championship **
Nick FN Gage © versus "Real Deal" Damien Steele
("Loser Leaves XPW Remixed" Match)

** XPW Boston Championship **
John Cena (2005) © versus Mil Mascaras (1975)

Jon Moxley vs Mystery Opponent (w/ TGW)

** XPW Television Title **
The MIZ (2011) © versus Honky Tonk Man (1989)

"Sick" Nick Mondo & Messiah versus Sami Callihan & Thumbtack Jack
("No Rules, No Regrets" Match)

Sandman calls out Pogo the Clown

** XPW Remixed Tag Team Titles **
(Real) KoW © w/ Jessica Darlin vs Fabulous Kangaroos (w/ Wild Red Berry)

__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Michael Strider and Gerweck.net interview (2005)
JOHN CENA: Smackdown! freestyle vs Eddie Guerrero, circa 2003-2004ish
SHANE DOUGLAS: Baltimore Sun interview (2009)
LIZZY BORDEN: RedHotDivas interview (2000)



View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 3-30-2012 at 03:49 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW Remixed Fallout Festival

The Fallout Festival PPV (both Nights #1 & #2) can be found here:

http://www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=26255





Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!

BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING is back...

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 4-5-2012 at 07:46 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #39



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

The stage was set at FallOut Festival… New tag team, Boston & King of the Death match champions were crowned… the dark angel Hakushi Kuro executed his mentor William Muldoon… Wendy Richter brought the woman’s championship back to 1985 with her flux capacitor – Jon Moxley answered The Grand Wizard’s challenge – and Lou Thesz outlasted eternal arch-nemesis Bruno Sammartino in an Iron Man match to retain the XPW Championship!

Now, the chips begin to fall… XPW Remixed presents a night of change… a night of revelation & celebration… a night where ALL XPW Championships will be on the line… XPW Remixed presents… A NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!!! Coming late April from an unspecified location in LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA! XPW homeland!




** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

”WORDS FROM THE XPW REMIXED PRESIDENT”



XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis in the ring to start the show… record-breaking numbers for Fallout Festival… now the march to “Night of Champions” begins… TONIGHT we are hosting an 8-man #1 Contenders tourney to determine the next potential XPW Champion… participants have been briefed before the show – all combatants are ready – and the show starts right now!!!



Suddenly - "No Way Out" by SFD starts blaring... enter NEW "King of the Death Match" champion "Real Deal" Damien Steele w/ Lord Humongous & Jasmin St Claire… cocky, flippant attitude from the KotDM champion (and XPW Commissioner) Damien Steele… since he's SOMEHOW not included in the 8-Man #1 Contenders tourney tonight… he went ahead and booked himself the main event slot… Strangler Lewis begins to scoff at Steele’s brazen decision, until Steele reveals his tag team partner… returning to action TONIGHT from suspension…

SAMOA JOE!!!



Joe boldly steps to Strangler Lewis without a care or fear in the world… he has a LIST of complaints, with Thesz at the top... he disses Lewis, disses Bruno Sammartino and calls out the XPW Champion… and say his name 3x like Candyman, he shall arrive…

Enter XPW Champion LOU THESZ!!!



LOU THESZ: I really cannot choose from your list, although it still amazes me. I consider my greatest accomplishment is being the luckiest guy around. In finding George Tragos, Ed Lewis, Ray Steele and a long list of guys who were friends beyond the everyday use of the word. I have always believe it is better to be lucky than smart. Don't get me wrong, I worked hard, but without those guys, I would have never had the accomplishments you listed.

Thesz answers like a man to Samoa Joe and Damien Steele, immune to the Commissioners entourage… the champion doesn’t fight for Strangler Lewis anymore (see “New Years Revolution” for their original falling out)… he fights for the fans and fantasy wrestling, and ACCEPTS Steele’s challenge… but who will be Thesz’ partner? Because as XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis just informs us - Lou’s “Shooters Club” training camp has been REMOVED FROM THE BUILDING for “dress code violations”! It looks like tonight’s main event will be a handicap match! Until…

“Black & Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa…

Enter BRUNO SAMMARTINO!!!



He picks up the fantasy baton in the wake of his close-call with Thesz @ “Fallout Festival”, and says HE will be Lou’s tag team partner tonight! Finally Samoa Joe gets what he’s been asking for! Another piece of da Brune! Steele and entourage are a little perturbed that somebody dare stand alongside Thesz against them, but boldly declares his teams victory tonight nonetheless… and just to make sure everything is on the up and up tonight… “on the square”… XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis has volunteered himself as special ringside enforcer! Samoa Joe has to be practically held back from charging Bruno… Thesz & Steele have the cool, cocky staredown, while Ed Lewis chuckles mirthlessly at both of them… and Steele’s entourage rounds out the picture. Tag Team Main Event TONIGHT!!!

** CUT **
__________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contenders Tourney **

POGO THE CLOWN (2002) versus EZEKIEL JACKSON (2012)

versus

We return from commercial to find the John Wayne Gacy-inspired Pogo the Clown stalking ringside… using excessive profanity, and focusing on the children in the front row in a very unsettling manner… 4 wooden tables are propped up in each corner of the ring, resting on the turnbuckles… they do a little crowd bit, where Pogo winds up smacking the crap out of a male spectator and grabbing his girlfriend by the hair! The monster Pogo drags the woman into the ring by her hair in a terrifying scene... when suddenly - “Domination” rips through the speakers and crowd pop is HUMONGOUS! Enter the “Apocalypse of 2012”! Part Mark Henry 2011 / part Goldberg 1998 - all Domination! Announcers have just enough time to recount Jackson’s expedited victory over “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers at Fallout Festival - when Big Zeke just PLOWS through Pogo the Clown with a massive spear! The woman escapes! Pogo wanted to use his barbed wire shovel but Jackson was too explosive! He drives the monster Pogo through a wooden table in the corner for the pin fall! Crowd EXPLODES at the sudden finish! Pogo rolls out of the ring to regroup, while Jackson pounds his chest and breaks the barbed wire shovel over his knee! Jackson is one step closer to being #1 Contender!!!

Winner: EZEKIEL JACKSON (2012)



** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** DURING THE BREAK **



** We return from commercial to “During the Break” video footage hosted by Solie & Striker… apparently after Jackson left the ring area, Pogo went on a min-rampage - destroying the ringside area and smacking around camera men… until “Natural Born Killaz” by Dr Dre & Ice Cube stopped him dead in his tracks! Cue maniacal run-in from the OG of Xtreme New Jack… he came back at “Fallout Festival” and he’s here tonight to battle ex-partner Pogo the Clown! We cut back to TV just in time to catch the tail end of the brawl, with New Jack & Pogo tearing up the backstage area… **

**********

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Meanwhile, cameras cut to a brief backstage sketch… The Grand Wizard is heard yapping away on a cell phone, when he’s approached by MSD for a quick interview… MSD asks TGW’s reaction to a stipulation President Strangler Lewis put in place for his match that specifies if he or one of his men lay a hand on Jon Moxley tonight they will be FIRED under the “Spring Cleaning” act! TGW treats MSD like a hassle, rudely informing him he’s got things well in hand this evening… then TGW goes back to his phone call, closing with “OK Red I’m on my way over to finalize the agreement…”


** CUT TO RING **

** #1 Contenders Tourney **

SHEAMUS (2012) versus JON MOXLEY (2015)

versus

Both men jaw away at each other to start, before an aggressive lock-up (Sheamus overpowers)… Moxley tries to take his knee, but winds up running off the ropes into a Sheamus shoulder block that floors him… Another rebound and this time Sheamus catches him with a power slam… Moxley with a quick jawbreaker, but Sheamus answers with a big boot… it sends Moxley to the floor… Sheamus rams him into the steps... Back in, Moxley gets a Russian legsweep… Sheamus almost gets an Emerald Fusion, but gets caught with a facebuster and a leg drop… Sheamus comes back with a DDT and a flying shoulder tackle for 2... Sheamus tries to tie Moxley up in the ropes and uncork the “forearms to the chest“ bit, but Moxley connects with a spinning heel kick for two.. Both men down, until Moxley ducks a Brogue Kick attempt and hit’s a clothesline from Hell on Sheamus for a very close 2-count!! But now, we’re getting some kind of disturbance..



From the locker room emerges “WILD” RED BERRY (with his tag team champion Fabulous Kangaroos close behind)! Clad in his stylish fedora and cane he begins the slow, cocky strut to ringside… for a “closer view”… both combatants wary as we head to commercial… when we return, Berry has taken up residency next to Solie & Striker at the announce table - where he unleashes a torrent of multi-syllabic insults upon Sheamus (who defeated Berry’s man Bam Bam Bigelow at “Fallout Festival”)… sure enough, his loud insults and general presence irritates Sheamus and he turns to focus his attentions on Berry… the manager rises from the announce table to egg Sheamus on further, distracting both him and the referee… this actually allows the Fabulous Kangaroos to sneak up in the ring behind Sheamus… and hit JON MOXLEY with their Improvised 3-D finisher!?!? Yes, the FabKangs just DROPPED Moxley with their tandem finisher and slid from the ring, escaping detection! “Wild” Red Berry wipes his hands of Sheamus and hops down from the ring apron!



Sheamus turns around to see what the heck happened, and starts yelling at the FabKangs - standing at ringside… suddenly, Sheamus is blindsided from the rear by KEN PATERA (1977) and The Grand Wizard!?!?!? The ex-Olympic strongman/criminal jumps the ringside barricade in his track wear and lays waste to Sheamus in the ring! All the while, The Grand Wizard & “Wild” Red Berry are wildly congratulating each other on their arrangement! Solie & Striker surmise they must have found a loophole to Strangler Lewis’ “No Touch Decree”, by attacking each OTHER’S enemies!!! Inside the ring, the bell has tolled continuously to end the chaos - but to no avail… Ken Patera cripples Sheamus with his Swinging Full-Nelson, while the FabKangs brutalize Jon Moxley with double teams… in the end, scene closes with all 5 men united (and smiling in victory) in the ring, standing over their unconscious, bloody opponents bodies… American and Australian flags are flying proudly over the beat down, as trash and boos rain down upon them all…

NO FINISH

** CUT TO VIDEO **

**************

"THE QUEEN of HARTS IS COMING TO XPW REMIXED...
(see her debut on the next XPW Online!!!)



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contenders Tourney **

ADAM PEARCE (w/ Ad Santel) vs. FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane)

w/ vs. w/

West Coast nobility Adam Pearce and his trainer Ad Santel get their entrance… announcers touch on the beat down of B-Boy (by Santel’s Cali Cripplers) but indicate B-Boy is back with a new crew (see Fallout Festival Night #2)… Battle Royal winner French Angel (1942) and his lovely valet Sammi Lane get a big pop for their entrance… at first, Pearce is cocky and condescending… “too good” to soil his hands on the filthy French Angel… but Ad Santel’s threatening of Sammi Lane at ringside is enough to draw the animal from his shell, in the form of a hellacious French Angel beat down on Pearce… he runs through all his most popular spots, in a combination of late ‘80s George “Animal” Steele mixed with the ferociousness of an early ‘90s Vader… Angel has things well enough in hand, when suddenly… uniformed police march to ringside?? They circle the ring in an unsettling scene, before surrounding Sammi Lane… immediately French Angel rushes to be by her side and finds himself surrounded as well… cut to the video wall, where we find a hysterical, sobbing (battered & bruised) LIZZY BORDEN throwing herself in pity at the male police officers backstage, regaling us with her tragic story of woe and domestic abuse… yes, that’s right - Lizzy Borden is accusing French Angel of assault and domestic violence! A disgusting allegation by a truly vile and disgusting human being! Sammi Lane protests but when one officer dare lay a hand on her, French Angel flies into a RAGE! It takes a half dozen cops with batons, tasers and MACE to detain the frenzied animal! Now Sammi Lane is the one sobbing, and cursing the name of Lizzy Borden - as her man French Angel is literally handcuffed and dragged out of the building! Adam Pearce & Ad Santel are the only ones left!!

Winner (by Count-Out): ADAM PEARCE

Crowd outrage! Shenanigans! Adam Pearce & Ad Santel have somehow weaseled themselves into the title picture by unsavory means AGAIN! Santel & his prized pupil rejoice and raise their hands in victory… until the sound of GUNFIRE can be heard ripping through the arena sound system! Cue “Real Muthaphuckkin Gz” by Eazy-E! Enter B-BOY!!! But this time – he’s NOT ALONE! A group of West LA homie gangbangers are riding shotgun, and carrying implements of destruction! Pearce & Santel are caught completely off-guard! Ad Santel manages to flee, leaving Adam Pearce to his fate in the middle of the ring… Gangland-style beat down on Adam Pearce that completely removes him from the picture… Ad Santel can only watch in horror as they dismantle Pearce, and finish by DUNKING HIS HEAD in a wheel barrow of cement and leaving a dead fish on his chest! LA RAZA! The message has been sent… B-BOY RUNS THE MUTHAPHUCKKIN WEST COAST!!! Ad Santel is forced to flee, looking back in abject terror/boiling fury at the ring where he former student is brazenly throwing up gang signs IN HIS FACE, over the beaten, unconscious, cemented body of his prized pupil…



B-Boy runs the muthaphuckkin West Coast!!!

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



MSD catches up with a weepy Lizzy Borden (wearing dark sunglasses) and questions her about the French Angel's arrest earlier... she starts tell a horrifying tale about home invasion and assault, when Shane Douglas cuts into the picture to take over the story... he says French Angel is an animal who needs to be caged and that his win over Douglas in the Fallout Festival Battle Royal was a fluke... Douglas & Borden still on a mission to legitimize the unofficial XPW Championship... this actually draws THE MESSIAH into the picture from the shadows, startling both Douglas & Borden! Messiah cuts a cryptic speech, alluding to his own piece of the "XPW Original" title and a past relationship with Lizzy Borden... this spooks Douglas & Borden and scatters them from the scene... MSD asks Messiah about his victory at Fallout Festival and upcoming match against his tag partner Nick Mondo... Messiah doesn't call Mondo a coward exactly, but certainly alludes to a "weakness" Mondo carries in his soul... However, Messiah will extract his true being tonight...


** CUT TO RING **

** #1 Contenders Tourney **

”SICK” NICK MONDO versus THE MESSIAH
(“Combat Zone Warfare” Match)

versus

Big time main event treatment for this match… starts with a backstage promo with both Messiah & Mondo (hosted by MSD)… there is clear friction between them – both men walking the razors edge of ultra-violence… trying to tread with the light and not be swallowed by darkness… but there is a residual anger and disappointment in Messiah, as he sees Mondo as forsaking his Death Match roots… his subtle wording and Bible phraseology casts shame upon Mondo, who is trying desperately to rise above the mayhem… to him, his “Best of the Best I” tournament victory was validation for his cause (see “Genocide”)… Nick Mondo looks to remain unscarred, but dark forces conspire against him…

Both men get their own sizable fan reaction upon entrance, with the salad days of CZW Original being represented to the XPW Remixed-degree… Dueling “MONDO! / MESSIAH!” chants… They start it off Gotch/Hackenschmidt-style, with an emphasis on mat and chain wrestling… Mondo eager to show his talents extend far beyond being “Sick”… Messiah following suit in a mortal display of one-upmanship… Mondo gets the upper hand on a few exchanges, so Messiah kick starts a brawl – and then both men bring it into the new millennium with crazy top rope and arena floor suicide dives… “XPW! XPW!” With both men battling hard – yet New Age “scientific” – we have our first appearance by fantasy wrestling’s Anti-Christ…

Enter SAMMI CALLIHAN (and Thumbtack Jack)!!!



”The New Horror” Sami Callihan enters with his demented, Igor-like henchman Thumbtack Jack (wearing the all-white murderers mask with hoodie)… both men stalk to ringside, and make their presence known… They make a big spectacle of haunting Messiah & Mondo as they compete; distracting both men at certain points… Finally – Messiah reverses an “Assault Driver” from Mondo into his elevated Diamond Cutter finisher… but Thumbtack Jack hops up on the apron to distract the ref! Messiah comes over to argue, and Sami Callihan sneaks in the ring from the rear and drops Nick Mondo with a burning hammer! (Reverse Death Valley Driver) Messiah turns around just in time to see Callihan skirting from the ring, and Mondo laid out… but he doesn’t go for the pin. Instead Messiah begins to angrily jaw at Callihan ringside, thus drawing the referee into another ringside distraction… but THIS time, Thumbtack Jack creeps in from the other side and BLASTS Messiah in the back of the head with a Kendo stick! OOOOOOH! The ref turns around to find both men curiously down, and begins administering the double count… the thoroughly beaten Mondo & Messiah drag themselves back to their feet to resume battle, and after a quick series of exchanges Mondo scores a suprise "Life Cutter" finisher for the pin! Mondo has advanced to the Finals! But is it only because he failed to witness the dasterdly actions of Callihan & Thumbtack Jack??

Winner: "SICK" NICK MONDO

Post match, once again Callihan hops up on the apron - but this time, Mondo & Messiah decide to unite and take out the bad guys! Messiah & Mondo unleash a litany of high-flying, high impact double team moves to Callihan and Thumbtack Jack! Scene ends with Thumbtack Jack laid out precariously in between panes of glass (resting on steel steps, dragged into the center of the ring) with “Sick” Nick Mondo standing over him with a steel chair, reading to swing… but he doesn’t. Mondo made a vow to himself to forsake the madness of ultra-violence, not embrace it… meanwhile, Messiah spots him from across the ring and yells for him to DO IT! Bring destruction to thy enemy! But Mondo doesn’t… and that little hesitation leads to Sami Callihan attacking Messiah from behind and Thumbtack Jack escaping… the bad guys quickly take over and both Mondo & Messiah wind up getting powerbombed onto each other through the panes of glass... Callihan & Thumbtack Jack celebrate under darkened mood lighting, with their emo music blasting in the background - looking like the Devil's spawn themselves...

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Words from XPW President Ed "Strangler" Lewis on the status of the #1 Contenders tourney... unfortunately due to the non-finish of their match, both Sheamus & Moxley have been removed from the competition... and as the result of the illegal beatdown Adam Pearce received tonight (B-Boy and crew will be fined, suspended and possibly fired over the breach), Pearce will ALSO be removed from competition as a security precaution... that means Ezekiel Jackson & "Sick" Nick Mondo will meet on the next XPW TV Episode to determine the #1 Contender at "Night of Champions II"!!!


** CUT TO RING **



DIAMOND DYNASTY versus PG-13 (w/ JTG)

w/ &
Versus
w/

Cue Phase 2 of the Diamond Dynasty conglomerate… the gradual transition of “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers from active fantasy wrestling competitor, to talent manager… and the gelling of a pair of Varsity villains, in the upscale jock world of professional sports, Matt Morgan (2010) & Alex Riley (2010)… a snapshot in time of them at the most promising upswing, colored with a little fantasy wrestling Diamond Dynasty dust, and merged together under the cut-throat corporate environment of “Boiler Room” meets “Any Given Sunday”… the beautiful, young and vivacious Missy Hyatt (1990) provides the sass and beauty at ringside as Alex Riley’s XPW Remixed girlfriend… Rogers (clad in his custom made Armani suits, diamond pinky ring and cigar) starts the verbal fellatio on the mic, before segueing to Riley and closing with Matt Morgan… all very thorough, cocky and adamant in their new mission to conquer XPW Remixed tag team waters…

They are then rudely interrupted by the off-key, non-rhythm tic white-boy rap duo of PG-13!!! Led by their front man JTG, they respond to the Dynasty who remain mildly amused at their brazen outburst… according to them they are XPW Tag Team veterans who don’t take kindly to a bunch of entitled, Trust Fund douche bags thinking they can just take a piece of what PG-13 has worked so hard for! In ring, almost incredulously, Matt Morgan has to ask if they’re serious about calling out the Dynasty to a match tonight… a MATCH? Heck no! PG-13 wants a “Freestyle Contest”!!! OMG, chuckles, boos and eye rolls for that one… quick little hilarious banter between JC Ice Baby & Wolfie D as they figure out who’s gonna go first… before settling on JC Ice Baby… but before he can get out more than just a few “yo yo yo’s!”, the Dynasty flies into assault mode! Morgan & Riley take care of PG-13 quite efficiently, wasting little time and only taking a few moments in between to casually remove their suit coats and roll up their shirt sleeves… JTG sulks and screw faces at ringside, while Rogers & Hyatt whoop and holler… Riley hit’s a TKO on Wolfie D at the same time Morgan hoists JC Ice Baby up for his Hellevator finisher… dual “1!…2!…3!…”s here as the Diamond Dynasty makes it perfectly clear they mean business in the tag team division.

Winner: DIAMOND DYNASTY


[glow=red,2,300]***************[/glow]

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



"Wild" Red Berry - manager of new tag team champion Fabulous Kangaroos - gives a pleasant, peaceful (and wordy) promo in which he gladly offers the (Real) Kings of Wrestling a rematch in the main event of the next XPW Online! (If only they can keep their valet Jessica Darlin from screwin up again, *wink*!)


** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

”Gorgeous George, who proved the "Flop of the Year"
in his New York debut."




NEWS OF THE MAT WORLD
(By Stanley Weston, Ring Magazine, May, 1949)


New York finally got its long awaited look at Gorgeous George. Prior to the showing of the "Big Blond," he was showered with more publicity in the "big town" than wrestling has received in the past two decades. Promoter Bill Johnson rented Madison Square Garden for $6,000000. He built up the ballyhoo and the Garden, which has a seating capacity of over 18,000, was expected by the most pessimistic prophet to draw about 15,000 persons and a gross of close to $25,000. In this extravaganza of showdom, ringside ducats went for $750 a throw. The result of all this build-up turned out to be one of the biggest flops in the history of sports. Every metropolitan scribe panned the performance without mercy and prayed that they never again be called upon to cover a wrestling match. As a whole, the exhibition could be termed obnoxious and revolting. Ringsiders were disgusted at the sight of an athlete acting the part of a ham. Or their athletes associating with nauseating TMZ celebrity fodder like David Otunga (2014)



Exhibitions of this sort would pass in the smaller clubs of the city, where the fan pays his dollar bill to blow off steam and have a gay evening, but when an athletic event takes place in Madison Square Garden, it automatically attains a much higher profile than it would at any other arena in the nation. The Gorgeous George showing was a dollar show being passed off as a $750 Madison Square Garden attraction but the so-called suckers rebelled and made their disapproval known. Bill Johnson barred television from the proceedings, hoping to swell the gate. But Johnson never expected the show to draw so poorly. Only 4,197 people paid $13,966.00 to see a third-rate vaudeville show. Of this George took home $1,867 and Ernie received $1,067 for playing the fall guy. It cost Johnson about $1,500 to learn that cheap vaudeville is dead.



From the organ came the strains of "Pomp and Circumstance," composed for the coronation of a British king. Slowly, Gorgeous George advanced down the aisle. He mounted the steps and motioned to Jackson, his valet, to part the ropes so he could slip into the ring without disturbing his hair. George's face was set in a sarcastic sneer as he looked out at the small crowd. Carelessly, he tossed a few stray bobby pins into the audience. His champagne-colored locks were protected by a hairnet set all in sequins. He was wearing a lace-covered silk gown, as white as the California snows, and its hem was trimmed with bouquets of flowers. Leisurely, he disrobed, handing each article to Jackson, an impeccable figure in striped pants, cutaway and green vest. At last, Gorgeous George stood revealed in a pair of aqua-blue tights. He insisted Jackson spray Joe Boyle, the referee, with the sweet-smelling disinfectant and then indicated, with a wave of his hand, that he was ready to start. Jackson bowed to his master, gathered up the silks and satin robes, and departed. He had given a performance worthy of a better play. George screamed, as if he were a woman, and from then on the drama deteriorated into a farce. "What kind of a referee are you, anyway?" When the crowd hooted George for his generous lack of wrestling skill, he turned on them to cry in annoyed tones, "Why don't you shut up yourselves?" The clumsy comedy continued, and curl began to come out of Gorgeous George's hair. It was hanging in unkempt strings about his ears and on his neck. He looked just awful but his moment of triumph arrived. Gorgeous George was the winner. It was the first wrestling show held in the Garden in 12 years. An equal period of time is likely to elapse before another one is attempted.

Gorgeous George & "Focus" was made in Hollywood, where he is reported to be a tremendous success. He should return there without delay. He definitely is not Broadway. The act flopped last night, artistically and financially. Even in such spots as the St. Nicholas Arena and the Broadway Arena his peculiar talents are not likely to be appreciated. He's a sweet thing, but not sweet enough for the price. Undoubtedly the return of wrestling to the big time would have proved far more successful if a wrestler along the lines of Frank Sexton had appeared on the card. The fans would have left the place with a better taste in their mouths if they had seen an exhibition of real wrestling by men who know how to wrestle."



** BREAKING NEWS FROM "FOCUS" **

Don't believe the hype. Gorgeous George will be making his fantasy wrestling DEBUT at "Night of Champions II"!!! BE THERE FOR THE BIGGEST PREMIERE IN TERRITORY WARS HISTORY!!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

"YOU KNOW U WANT ME"



Segment starts with Sunny (circa 1996) already in the ring (with a baggy jeans, wife beater & Timberland boot wearing Big Shad G acting as crowd deterrent and bodyguard… there is a large, curtained object hanging from the ceiling… display tables set up at ringside with various Sunny-related merchandise (mugs, posters, key chains etc)… peppy, sexy hype bit from Sunny as she delivers HER pitch to the XPW Remixed marketing people for “Night of Champions II” new promotional piece… cue the majestic unveiling…



SHAD G (w/ Sunny) versus JUN KASAI

vs

Crowd has just enough time to get the boos out of their system when we’re saved by… Jun Kasai (!?!?) The grinning, toothless “Crazy Monkey” plays to the crowd and has a few, indecipherable words on the mic… but they must be pretty obscene, as he suddenly drops his drawers to reveal a THONG and thrusts himself in Sunny’s direction! Crowd breaks out into hysterics as Sunny throws up in her mouth, and her boyfriend Big Shad G comes barreling into Jun Kasai’s FACE with a running size 15 Timberland boot! Quickie squash with Big Shad G getting a chance to flex his big man moves, and Jun Kasai bumping like a madman… Jun Kasai gets a brief advantage after taking to the sky, but once again becomes enamored with the idea of forcing himself upon Sunny - and winds up getting ejected over the top rope by Shad Gaspard with a running power bomb, crashing Kasai’s body through the merchandise tables set up ringside…Sunny rips the mic away from the house announcer to broadcast her man as the victor herself!

Winner: SHAD GASPARD

Just then – we’re cut off by the annoying sounds of LIZZY BORDEN on the mic! She’s approaching the ring to further harass Sunny, and insult her design for the promotional poster… Lizzy shows no fear, bodying right up to Sunny in the ring and talking shit – despite Shad’s looming presence… sure enough, Lizzy Borden SLAPS Sunny in the face – and suddenly Shad Gaspard reaches out violently and grabs Borden by her hair! He’s incredulous she would DARE strike Sunny in front of him, and ask the crazy bitch what the fuck she’s doing… but Borden just smiles… cue Shane Douglas run-in! He enters from the rear of the ring through the crowd and BLASTS Shad G in the back of the skull with his counterfeit XPW championship belt! Big Shad G is down, and once again Lizzy Borden & Shane Douglas strip, spank and humiliate Sunny… then they start ripping her giant poster to shreds, until…



“AWWWWEEESOOOOOOME!!!!”

__________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Television Title **



THE MIZ (2011) versus SHANE DOUGLAS (2002) w/ Lizzy Borden

versus w/

Enter the stylish, cocky XPW Television champion… he is cool and collected, sauntering onto the entrance ramp with a mic and his TV title over his shoulder… Miz sarcastically addresses Shane Douglas, and castrates him for his insecurities, bullying antics, cheap whore manager and fake gold belt! This absolutely INFURIATES Douglas & Borden who go right back at Miz on the mic… the two men go jawing back and forth until Miz is right in his face, taunting him with a *REAL* gold belt… they mouth off – we’ve got a challenge – Shane Douglas eagerly calls for the bell… and like Daniel Bryan/Sheamus WM28, Shane turns around to IMMEDIATELY EAT a running Timberland boot to the FACE from Big Shad G! Revenge! Miz slides into the ring to pick up the scraps! 1!.. 2!.. 3!! The MIZ retains his TV title in 18 seconds!!!

Winner (and STILL XPW TV Champion): THE MIZ (2011)

Oooooo the outrage! The degradation! How DARE they conspire against the King & Queen of Xtreme?? No doubt, that’s the gamut of emotions running through Shane Douglas & Lizzy Borden now as they recuperate on the arena floor and make wild, bugged out facial expressions… in the ring, Sunny has found her bounce again and taunts Lizzy & Shane (while Shad G rubs his head angrily, still selling the belt shot)… meanwhile, Miz holds his TV title aloft in slow motion, with that shit-eating grin on his face… cameras follow Shane & Lizzy as they slink angrily back up the entrance ramp, eyes locked on their foes in the ring the entire time… BUT that only allows them to completely miss Sammi Lane creeping on them from the rear! The peppy Sammi Lane sneaks through the entrance curtain carrying a bucket of green slime, which she promptly DUMPS ON DOUGLAS & BORDEN’s HEADS! Crowd cheers! Sammi Lane jumps for joy! Shane & Lizzy slip and fall, completely covered in green sludge! Everybody laughs at them!!!



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

"HALL OF FAME 2012"



Segment opens with big-time TV entrance for new XPW Boston champion Mil Mascaras… pyro, music & laser light show… he takes the ring for a galvanizing championship coronation speech and in half English/Spanish makes sure to thank the fantasy wrestling FANS for making him what he is today… this in turn introduces the “Dr of Thuganomics” for the interruption - JOHN CENA… the former champion (see “Fallout Festival”) swaggers to ringside with a smirk, belaying his true emotions… Cena steals the show with another of his mock-sarcastic congratulatory monologues directed at Mascaras - just shy of outright disrespect… Mascaras turns the tables though, and harkens back to the Olympia brand of fantasy wrestling sportsmanship, which of course Cena respects… but when Mascaras extends the handshake of mutual respect, Cena contemplates only but a moment - before declining and giving a little “u can’t see me” hand motion to Mascaras’ FACE! This outrages Mascaras who goes nose-to-nose with Cena, chewing him out, while the audience temperature rises by the moment… just then, BLACKOUT! The arena lights pitch to darkness!!!



In but a flash the lights return, but when they do - the Angel of Death HAKUSHI KURO awaits in the ring with a steel chair! The next sequence happens in a flash - Cena sees Hakushi standing behind Mascaras with the chair and hollers at him to “WATCH OUT!” So Mascaras spins around to see Hakushi, and instinctively DUCKS just as Hakushi Kuro sends a spray of BLACK MIST in his face! The mist hits Cena’s eyes instead, blinding him instantly! This leaves ex-training partners Mascaras & Hakushi Kuro to briefly tangle - stiffly and uncooperatively - before all the sudden Mil Mascaras gets swooped up into an FU Attitude Adjustment by a still-blinded Cena! Perhaps not realizing his folly, Cena executes a devastating FUAA to Mascaras that catches Mil’s back right on the steel chair dropped in the ring - temporarily paralyzing him on the mat… Cena is down on his knees still frantically clawing at his burning eyes… which gives Hakushi Kuro time to dramatically unsheathe the steel chair again…approach Cena, still kneeling in executioners position - and BLAST him in the head with a steel chair-assisted buzz saw kick! Cena and Mascaras are DOWN and OUT! Hakushi Kuro - the black angel of Death - lurks over both of them with his blank, all-white uncaring eyes… before reaching for the Boston championship and holding it before him like one might the Holy Grail… Hakushi Kuro’s murky intentions have been made crystal clear here tonight…



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

"THE MONARCHY"



JINDER MAHAL (2013) w/ Raisha Saeed versus GREAT KHALI (2007)

w/ versus

Segment starts with the Evil Empire in the ring, and Jinder Mahal on the mic… he cuts another venomous, borderline Anti-American, racist conspiracy theory that puts him at the forefront as a disadvantaged, abused victim… the vaguely “Untouchables” Al Capone dinner speech continues as Jinder Mahal subtly turns his attentions inwards, to his own Empire… and the perceived weak links within that are tainting the entire organization… video throwback to the Battle Royal at “Fallout Festival”, and the miscommunication between Mahal & Great Khali that led to Jinder Mahal’s accidental elimination… he’s NOT pleased, to say the least… he berates and insults a moribund Great Khali, and demands a humiliating apology from the big man - which he gets… but Mahal still isn’t satisfied… he feigns agreement - just like DiNero in “Untouchables” - before unleashing the proverbial “baseball bat to the back of the skull” bit on Khali… in this case its’ a metal crowbar concealed in Mahal’s suit that he uses to DESTROY Khali’s legs… I mean, brutally and viciously… he even orders Raisha Saeed to grab a chair - which she does - and Mahal Pillmanizes Khali’s leg and ankle… Now Jinder Mahal is demanding Great Gama follow suit and continue the massacre… but after a long pause, and concerned, conflicted facial expressions, the Great Gama DECLINES! He brazenly rejects his leaders orders and deserts the ring! He’s turning his back on Mahal and the Empire!?!? Mahal is outraged, and continues to take his aggressions out on Khali until security intervenes and the Punjabi giant is removed from XPW Remixed for good… fade out on an angry (yet vindicated) Jinder Mahal and his valet Raisha Saeed, as announcers speculate on Gama’s immediate future after his desertion…



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT #1 **



Thesz & Bruno in the locker room... mutual respect after their Fallout Match... business tonight... after that, a rematch may be in the works...

*******

** BACKSTAGE SKIT #2 **



Samoa Joe on another tirade that has to be bleeped out, in which he tears down the "old guard" and says he teamed up with Commissioner Steele because he has the book and Joe needs another match against Bruno... to prove Sammartino's win against Joe at "MBVII" was a fluke... scary intensity from Joe.

*******

** BACKSTAGE SKIT #3 **



MSD catches up with Commissioner Damien Steele in his office... he's surrounded by the big hockey-mask wearing bodyguard (see Fallout Festival) and secretary Jamin St Claire... MSD questions him about his new allegiances and his introduces the bodyguard as "Lord Humongous" and says he's set about to prove that Damien Steele is the man with the stroke in XPW Remixed... MSD asks exactly HOW Steele plans on proving that, but Steele just smirks... nods his head towards Lord Humongous... who KICKS MSD IN THE GUT AND POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE COMMISSIONERS DESK!!! Steele laughs and leads his troops away from the wreckage...


** CUT TO RING **

LOU THESZ & BRUNO SAMMARTINO
Versus
“REAL DEAL” DAMIEN STEELE & SAMOA JOE


versus

A joke of a match, as Thesz & Sammartino’s stone-cold professionalism is met head-on by Damien Steele’s abrasive, egocentric, tyrannical rulings… starts off standard tag-fare with Joe demanding a piece of Bruno, but getting Thesz instead… the brief tangle between Thesz & Joe is exciting, and the crowd responds very favorably… Steele is a heat magnet at ringside, with his giant hockey-mask wearing bodyguard and sexy secretary Jasmin St Claire… Ed Lewis rides the whole thing out at ringside, bringing a semblance of normalcy to the proceedings... but the whole thing breaks down every time Thesz & Bruno get an advantage.. Steele changes the rules - first to a no count-out (after he got double suplexed to the floor and needed more time to recuperate) - then to a No DQ match when Joe saved his hide from Thesz’ STF by hitting Lou with a chair… President Strangler Lewis just shakes his head at the madness, but hasn't done anything to stop Steele yet... all the while Joe is taunting Bruno, practically BEGGING him to go one-on-one again… Bruno finally relents and trades fisticuffs with Joe, getting the upper hand… until Damien Steele’s big masked goon interferes and turns the tides… NOW Steele makes the stipulation that if his team wins the match, Joe gets his coveted rematch against Bruno… but even with ALL those shenanigans Damien Steele STILL gets punked - this time by Thesz who overcomes an attempted belt shot from Steele and locks him in the STF for a quick, cowardly tap-out…

Winners: LOU THESZ & BRUNO SAMMARTINO

The giant masked goon begins to get into the ring to pry Thesz off Steele, but Bruno is quickly on him… but no sooner has Bruno tackled the big guy, Samoa Joe is on him from the rear - locking in a rear naked choke and dragging Sammartino to his back! Joe grapevines the waist and locks in the choke, trapping Bruno!!! He struggles for life but can’t break Joe’s grip! Meanwhile, the giant hockey mask-wearing cretin stomps on Thesz, and with Steele’s help, pound the XPW champion out on the mat… Steele directs traffic, calling for Jasmin St Claire to retrieve a table and slide it into the ring… Steele sets up the table and has Lord Humongous CHOKE SLAM Thesz through the table! Meanwhile, security has finally pried Joe off Bruno but Sammartino has been CHOKED UNCONCIOUS! The bad guys survey the damage, look around, laugh... UNITE with Strangler Lewis (he and Steele finally burying the hatchet and shaking hands) and throw their hands up in victory to end the show… the XPW Remixed front office just grew a whole lot stronger and more cohesive with the events of tonight...

** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus "Sick" Nick Mondo (2002) / or Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

** Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match **

Gorgeous George debut match!!!



__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:
LOU THESZ: Wrestling Classics messageboard


__________________________________________________________________________


View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 4-10-2012 at 04:59 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW Online #15





** Video flashback footage to XPW Remixed TV Episode #39, and the humiliation of Douglas & Borden at the hands (and feet) of the Miz, Shad Gaspard (w/ Sunny) and the vivacious Sammi Lane - on behalf of her man French Angel who was arrested after allegations made by Lizzy Borden **

Cut to the in-studio (guest) hosts for the show:



SHANE DOUGLAS & LIZZY BORDEN!!!

SHANE DOUGLAS: It’s something that I’m easing myself back into... I set a pretty high bar for myself in my career because I always worked extraordinarily hard at what I did. It never came easy to me. Chris Candido – besides loving him like a little brother – I used to sit and watch him in awe because it was so effortless for him. He could wake up from a nap and go out and have a five-star match. For me, I had to really work hard at it. I think it was part of the work ethic I learned from Dominic DeNucci and Bruno Sammartino, and certainly from Ricky Steamboat and Terry Funk. I always thought the fans deserved the best I can give them. So I wanted to make sure first of all that I wanted to come back. Now that I'm back with the championship belt I NEVER LOST everybody wants to take shots at the throne! But believe me pal, Lizzy & I got something for all of ya!



** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

Honky Tonk Man’s
“ICE CREAM PARLOR”


** FINAL EPISODE **




HONKY TONK MAN: I knew I was going to get over and draw people, sell tickets! Title or no title. No matter where I was on the card. I knew that because I had perfected my persona. The Honky Tonk thing. I knew that if it didn't work here, it was going to work somewhere else. Of course, WCW -- which was Turner, PerfectlyStraightedge and the Crocketts in Atlanta at the time – chachins’ AWA loves goofy gimmicks - I knew there is a spot there no matter what! I don’t need to put up with this BS in XPW Remixed!!! With it being such a Southern-style thing, the Elvis knock-off character, I knew it would work! If they don't want to use me properly in XPW Remixed, then I would just move on!! (crowd cheers mightily) That's what I was planning on doing… but then I got the opportunity to get the future Territory Wars World champion RIGHT NOW. I ran with it. I'm not tooting my own horn, but I thought I did a pretty good job…



Ladies and gentlemen…

Introducing to XPW Remixed…

The man, the myth, the legend, the “One Man Southern Rock Band”, “Don’t-Call-Me-Rockabilly”, and host of XPW Remixed’s newest talk-show segment…


HEATH FN SLATER!!!



(booooooooooo)


HEATH SLATER: Thank you so much -- it feels awesome!!!



HONKY TONK MAN: Heath actually started in Mobile (Alabama) and Pensacola (Florida) and the South-East, wrestling for the Fullers. Then I took him to Canada for Stu Hart and kind of fine-tuned it there. From there, WWE picked it up and we tweaked it a little bit and it took off [circa 2015ish] Now, I’m taking the “One Man Rock Band” back to the future and we’re gonna “shake-rattle-n-roll” all over XPW Remixed, baby!



HEATH SLATER: That is absolutely true.



HONKY TONK MAN: Like Steamboat.. (currently in Rav-P’s WWF) He left the company, stayed gone for 20 years and all of a sudden, he came back with a shirt and tie on and was a supervisor! Oh. Now you're a big shot. I had really, really good matches with Bruno Sammartino & Buddy Rogers (see XPW TV Episodes #5 & #6) and they were very memorable and really good stuff! When they put me with MIZ, I had pretty much been degraded down the card because they were going in a different direction (words dripping with bitter sarcasm) With Heath Slater, I’m planning to put him in a position to take over Lou Thesz’s spot!!!



HEATH SLATER: That is absolutely true. It's thanks to him (shakes Honky’s hand) -- he's been so helpful. Honky Tonk Man has been around so long and done so much for the company, and he's such a good mentor. He gives me such great advice -- I've been applying it all and it's been working so far!



HONKY TONK MAN: I met so many young guys and gals breaking in the business and helped them along. Made some great relationships with some great people. I was able to go out and have fun again. This business is about having fun and entertaining the people. Not begrudging the fact that you have to get up at seven in the morning and go sit in a building all day. Somebody hands you a script like they do now. I went to ”Fallout Festival”. They handed me a script!! They handed me a script… I said, 'I don't need a script! I know what I need to say!”



HEATH SLATER: Ring awareness for sure. Etiquette in the locker room. Learning what he's been through in the business and how he's come up -- he tells me I remind him of himself back when he started. There's just so much knowledge there that I can't even list it all.



HONKY TONK MAN: It's a situation where the young fellows are taken down to Florida. They keep them two or three years and put them in a training camp. But, going to training camp three or four days a week -- you don't learn your craft that way. You don't learn to be a truck driver by going to truck driver's school. You've got to be out there on the highway! But, anyway. It's their business, not mine. I got my own thing to do. I'm an independent and I'm very happy doing what I do. I travel everywhere. Sorry I was a little late answering your call for the Monday show. But the time changed and I got home late last night and I'm not an early riser until Wednesday when I got to leave for Winnipeg on a 7 AM flight. I'll be up in Winnipeg for the next four or five days. I was just up in Northern Minnesota and Wisconsin for four or five days. I stay busy doing what I do and I really enjoy professional wrestling now more than ever because it's fun for me. I get to hang around with young kids and interact with young guys. A lot of the young guys like Heath Slater are very eager to listen and to learn. I don't try to teach ‘em, but I give ‘em a little advice here or there and that's about it!



HEATH SLATER: That's just my inner self. I've always been the center of attention. I've always wanted to be in the spotlight. I've always been that guy that's always stood out. Now that I'm in the wrestling business, it's just my inner core bleeding out, and the only thing I know how to do is just turn it up to 10 and keep going. ”The One Man Southern Rock Band” is in XPW Remixed, and we’re about to RAWK OUT and shake-rattle-n-roll over the entire landscape!!!

** PART II of Heath Slater's inagural "Happy Hour" will continue next time!!! **

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Fan Cam Footage"



HUMAN TORNADO versus SABU

versus

Match actually started as a jobber squash for Human Tornado, allowing for the preceding exchange (see above video)... but suddenly, at the conclusion to "Beat It", Human Tornado was blindsided by an unseen foe unleashing a flying leg lariat (like the clothesline that ended the video segment above)... it's muthaphuckkin SABU and he's NOT happy to be seeing such frivolity in HIS ring!


WTF!?!?!

This was a small XPW Remixed promotional appearance in some off-beat town, that was surprised by the attack of Sabu (in a typical “unscripted” XPW Remixed appearance)… Sabu has resorted to his mid-90’s, borderline mental asylum gimmick, with strong touches of Original Sheik the way he darts around ringside, startling audience members and making them jump… heelish beat down segment on Human Tornado until Sabu finally misses a vaulting Arabian Facebuster attempt, instead crashing down on his own posterior on a steel chair… Human Tornado takes over with his juking-and-jiving corner kicks, and answers an Irish-whip reversal with a stunning backfist “Pimp Slap” that floors Sabu… they do a quick tease on the ring apron, before Human Tornado unleashes a wicked tornado DDT that actually drives both he and Sabu backwards through a table set up at ringside! “XPW! XPW!” Fans cheering, both men roll from the wreckage, Sabu retreating while Tornado makes his way back into the ring to celebrate and dance for the fans… fun little sideshow appearance for surprised XPW viewers…

Winner (by count out): HUMAN TORNADO

***********


LIZZY BORDEN: I always liked wrestling growing up. I love the drama of it. That's part of the reason I love working for XPW. The drama and story lines in XPW are so much more entertaining than most other wrestling shows. It's a lot more like the WWF than anything else. People always like to compare us to ECW, but we're really more like the WWF, especially in terms of story lines and drama.

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

CHEERLEADER MELISSA (2011) versus NATALYA NEIDHART (debut!!!)
(Guest Ring Announcer: Cyndi Lauper!!!)

versus


segment ends at 1:35
"Victoria" = Cyndi Lauper


Cyndi Lauper opens the above segment (in place of Victoria in the video clip)… Lauper is more bad-ass and pro-wrestler’ish after Richter’s victory, and Natalya gets the peppy babyface introduction… she runs through her opponent with relative ease, allowing for a brief hope spot from the former Shimmer World champion (Cheerleader Melissa 2011), before finally making her tap out to the Sharpshooter… Natalya’s execution of the move is sterling – definitely the best since Bret’s version… maybe better. Natalya gets the impressive babyface victory to kickstart her career in the XPW Remixed woman’s division… where girls just want to have fun!!!

Winner (by submission): NATALYA NEIDHART

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________



** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

Segment actually started in Commissioner Damien Steele’s office (with his Lord Humongous henchman and Jasmin St Claire)… he is in joyous conversation with Cali Cripplers coach Ad Santel, with Steele reiterating his cooperation with XPW Remixed president Strangler Lewis and promising ramifications for B-Boy attacking and cementing Adam Pearce (see XPW TV Episode #39)… Ad Santel is happy to offer his support, as always, to the Steele regime and is happy to oblige the little “favor” Steele asked him to take care of tonight… heh heh heh…


** CUT TO RING **

USO’s & “SHOOTER” TONY JONES (w/ Ad Santel)
Versus
BLKOUT

(Handicap Strap Match)


vs


Big entrance for XPW Remixed Commissioner (and current KotDM champion) “Real Deal” Damien Steele and his entourage, including Lord Humungous & Jasmin St Claire… another egotistical mic bit where Steele COMPLETELY flip-flops here and goes balls out in his overwhelming support of President Lewis & GDT Inc… what a brown-nosing douche, and the crowd gets it right away – showering them with boos and pelting them with garbage… No conflict, Steele toes the line – and tonight he has some unfinished business from “Fallout Festival” to take care of… cut to video wall where we see still shots of BLKOut’s attempted interference during Steele’s match… a stipulation Steele added said any interference would result in their TERMINATION… this of course kick starts the theme song for BLKOut, and the street rebels make their entrance… but Steele informs them that technically since they didn’t interfere, they won’t be fired… but they will be competing tonight… in a handicap strap match! That announcement is really just a set-up for the now 4-man Cali Cripplers team to jump BLKOut from behind and whip them with belts and straps… This is the Uso brothers, “Shooter” Tony Jones and cruel head coach Ad Santel, who takes Xtreme pleasure in whipping and punishing the BLKOut punks… Announcers say Ad Santel is taking out his frustrations on the BLKOut gang, in retaliation for the act perpetuated by B-Boy and his new crew (see XPW TV Episode #39)… Steele and troops watch at ringside, and get their licks in too… BLKOut never get a chance to get into offensive mode, and the result is somewhat disturbing… with what appears to almost be a legalized lynching of 3 black wrestlers – especially when Santel & Jones hook a strap around Ruckus’ neck like a noose and hang him over the top rope! Big Michael Tarver is double-teamed the entire time by the Uso’s, and winds up eating stereo top rope splashes for his effort… in the end, the only one left is RUCKUS – who gets the big, crowd-pleasing babyface comeback sequence to get the crowd hot… he takes out both Uso’s after a miscommunication… ejects Tony Jones from the ring – and takes to the air to combat the ground-based Ad Santel… but of course, Damien Steele interferes by yanking Ruckus off the top rope by the dog collar… and Lord Humongous finishes Ruckus with a HUGE powerbomb through a table in the middle of the ring! Ad Santel swoops in for the lazy, disrespectful pin and cover… everybody celebrates in the ring...

Winners: CALI CRIPPLERS

** Segue **

____________________________________________________________________________________

”SHOOTER” TONY JONES versus B-BOY

versus

The bad guys celebration was abruptly cut short by the sound of GUNFIRE ripping through the arena sound system! Cue “Real Muthaphuckkin Gz” by Eazy-E! It’s B-Boy’s theme song! But where is he??? Bad guys look around anxiously, and Steele gets on the mic to “CUT THE MUSIC” and remind B-Boy that he and his crew have been SUSPENDED! But it doesn’t matter!!! Crowd attention turns to the upper most section of the arena, where we see B-Boy and his boys making their way to the ring! Crowd parts like the Red Sea for a crew of G’d up Mexican East LA Gangbangers! The tension in the building has just ratcheted up to insane levels of heat… B-Boy leads his troops right over the ringside barricade to confront the Cripplers and Steele’s entourage… B-Boy on the mic…


B-BOY: Well like any other kid, you can sometimes choose the wrong choices in life… with me was with the wrong crowd… (gestures to his crew behind him) I was in and out of juvenile hall. I did everything in the book man. And something happened in my life where I had a serious picture of what I was in ya know? Thought to myself “damn man I need to get out the lifestyle” So I got my stuff together and tried to change my past or erase my past ya know… but everyone has a past you can never forget it… I try to stay positive and just go on with what I’m doing day by day. I’m just happy on what I’m doing now and enjoying life as it is. I’ve always been a fan of wrestling ever since I was like 4 yrs old man. So I was always the biggest mark when it came down to it, but never really said anything… I got hooked up with CCW (“Cali Crippler Winners”) by a flyer that was being passed out down here in San Diego. I’ve always dreamed to be a professional wrestler, so I called up the school the next day and the rest was history. But somewhere down the line, after the Shooters Club debacle, everything changed… and here we are…

Backed up by their respective crews, Ad Santel and former student B-Boy go nose to nose on the mic… this is straight TURF WARS shit… B-Boy is here to offer one final reprieve to Santel and his team before outright warfare breaks out… what happened to Adam Pearce (see XPW TV Episode #39) was just the beginning if you want to test it… but this only INFURIATES Ad Santel who RUNS the West Coast! It is B-Boy and his gang of slam pigs that are the interlopers! Well, well, well… it’s clear this town ain’t big enough for both gangs… flexing, flexing… tension mounting… both teams itching… Steele tugs at his collar now with a hard gulp, full of nerves… Santel offers the final ultimatum… B-Boy tenses for a moment… smirks for the crowd… AND SPITS IN SANTEL’s FACE!!! WE’RE OFF!!! Wild, unrestrained brawl between B-Boy and his 4-man team and the Cripplers! Damien Steele immediately bails from the fight with Jasmin, but orders Lord Humongous to stay behind… these guys are brawling EVERYWHERE! Spilling into the crowd, splitting up and just tearing into each other. B-Boy winds up alone in the ring with Ad Santel, who has fallen to the mat clutching his hamstring… he tries to beg off from B-Boy to no avail… “Shooter” Tony Jones tries to get in the ring… Lord Humongous is now behind B-Boy to grab him… but BLKOut are back in the ring now! Ruckus & Sabian take out Lord Humongous! B-Boy is left alone with “Shooter” Tony Jones and proceeds to straight eviscerate the guy… brutal stiff strikes and torturous submission holds leave him broken and beaten… he puts Jones in a Labell Lock and he starts tapping immediately… but B-Boy doesn’t release the hold until tendons are ripped and bones are SNAPPED! B-Boy is yelling right at Ad Santel, ringside, watching the massacre! With the mess of security & BLKOut members at ringside, Ad Santel can only watch as "Shooter" Tony Jones gets the cement/dead fish treatment!!!

Winner (by submission): B-BOY

On the mic for the close, B-Boy says SCREW the fines and suspensions, he’s going to run through the Cali Cripplers and take them ALL out one-by-one! Until he gets his hands on Ad Santel once and for all! Ad Santel promises revenge and flees the scene to regroup… meanwhile, the rest of the crew & BLKOut are ushered backstage by security…


B-BOY: To all workers, all I can say is keep faith…. Hard for a lot of people out here working and stuff, but keep faith! If you really want it the opportunity will come, just got to let it come. To promotions, Commissioner Steele, Ad Santel… remember this: we are indy workers working for indy feds! Always remember to take care of the boys as well as the fans… or WE’LL take care of YOU! To the fans - thanks for the support! B-Boy comes to you raw and comes at you from the heart! I go out to perform to the best of my abilities and excite the fans and it’s like this… like me or don’t like me, but you damn well will respect me!!! Always keep it real!!!



** CUT TO NEXT ASSOCIATED SEGMENT **

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



A peek into the furious locker room of the Cali Cripplers... Adam Pearce will be returning on the next XPW TV Episode and he aims to end this turf war once and for all... steely-eyed, intense promo from "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce where he challenges B-BOY to a "LOSER LEAVES XPW REMIXED MATCH" on the next XPW TV Episode! It's do or die time, punk! Ad Santel runs the muthaphuckkin West Coast!!!


***********


LIZZY BORDEN: Our federation has been promoting shows for a little over a year now. Our one year anniversary show was at the L.A Sports Arena. We started doing shows at the Reseda County Club, but we outgrew that. Then we moved to the Palace in Hollywood, but we outgrew that, too. The L.A Sports Arena is huge, but we are drawing more fans than ever there, so we're very happy.

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"XTREMISM BLEEDS RED, WHITE & BLUE"

Japanese madman Atsushi Onita opens the show... black leather jacket, smoking cigarette and muthaphuckkin tranquilizer gun in hand... he cuts an angry heel promo, touting the original Japanese Ultra-violence culture, and insults pale, weak Americans who have attempted to subjugate the culture ever since.



Suddenly - this draws forth from the locker room DANNY HAVOC! The Ultra-violet underground legend emerges to answer the call, appeal to the masses, and bleed buckets of red, white and blue...



DANNY HAVOC: To be honest, there is really NO viable reason to stay involved in professional independent deathmatch wrestling in America. You make very little money—just enough to justify it to yourself, but certainly not enough to deflect the ridiculous cost of hospitalization if you’re unlucky enough to get hurt. The risk of injury is obviously very high…increasingly so, as fans (and even wrestlers, themselves) are demanding more and more “danger” all the time. There’s constant drama, a lot of assholes, and the fans seem to be more and more unappreciative. So why do we do this?

(crowd cheers "XPW! XPW!")

Well, I can only speak for myself, obviously…but to quote the title of a rather awful movie, I do it “for love of the game.” Were we in Japan, we could be doing this for a living. To my understanding, Japanese indy wrestlers manage to ply their trade for a living. Here in the good ol’ U.S. of A, unfortunately, we’re relegated to doing it as a poorly-reimbursed supplemental job on the weekends…little better than a hobby. And let me tell you, it sucks. But goddammit…that’s the way it is. And I LOVE being a deathmatch wrestler. And eventually, more than likely, something terrible will happen to me, and I’ll be forced to walk away, just like my friends. I wish that it was a more mainstream-accepted form of entertainment, so that we could be better-paid and more respected, but that’s unfortunately not the way of things right now in this country. So, short of moving to Japan—and I realize that, even if I did that, I’d have to get a helluva lot better to excel in this business over there—I have to live with the fact that, in order to do what I want to do, I’m going to have to deal with a lot of bullshit. And I will. And I do. Starting right here, right now with YOU, Onita!!!

** DING DING DING!!! **

ATSUSHI ONITA versus DANNY HAVOC

versus

In an amazingly dangerous stunt, Onita actually fires the tranquilizer dart at Danny Havoc as he climbs into the ring! Fortunately Havoc is carrying a thick wooden slab that he uses to BLOCK the dark in a big “oooo” moment for the crowd… he then CHUCKS the slab at Onita’s head and we’re off… after the exciting start we brawl back and forth with Onita ultimately taking advantage and proving to be the big, bad, Xtreme elder statesman that he is… Havoc is the “never-say-die” underdog from America’s hardcore hometown of Cylinder Iowa (snicker)… after absorbing some Xtreme bumps, Havoc counters a top rope powerbomb attempt from Onita into a pseudo-X Factor, that drives Onita face-first through a burning table in the ring! (“HOLY S***! And “XPW!” chants for that finish)… Havoc earns the bloody win, and winds up leaning into the crowd for support where someone drapes an American flag over his chest… it inspires Danny to grab a mic and go berserk with his own off-the-cuff “shoot rant”. He reps for American Xtremism, and even shouts-out former XPW KotDM champion Nick Gage… Havoc finishes by calling Damien Steele out for “pussyfying up the KotDM title” and demanding a title shot! Crowd cheers!

Winner: DANNY HAVOC


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Words from evil genius The Grand Wizard backstage... he says he has a business arrangement with "Wild" Red Berry and wishes him all the luck in his tag team title defense later tonight... and on the next XPW TV Episode, Mr Berry has promised a BIG challenge for TGW's old "friend" (aka "bitter blood enemy") Jon Moxley in a "MitB" Qualifying match... in return, TGW's man KEN PATERA will be tangling with the Celtic Warrior Sheamus in another "Money-in-the-Bank" Qualifying match! All on the next XPW TV Episode! But for now, TGW is more than content to let Abdullah the Butcher & Original Sheik handle their issues on their own... because he's got money to count...


** CUT TO RING **

ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER versus THE SHEIK
(Xtreme Rulez Match from JAPAN!!!)

versus





"Winner": ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER

After stating he held no allegiance towards any one of his particular clients, The Grand Wizard none the less sent reinforcements to the ring at the end of the match to attack Abdullah the Butcher (see above)... he is one of TGW's Anonymous Japanese henchmen, more of a bigger deal THERE than over here... so too is the man who comes to Abdullah's aid to finish the bout.... the names are inconsenquential, what matters is TGW's decision to NIX his working relationship with Abdullah the Butcher and stay the course with former KotDM champion OG Sheik... meanwhile Abdullah the Butcher has been turned "babyface" in the Land of the Rising Sun...

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

GEORGE CALLS OUT MIZ ON TV SHOWS



Taking the role of “Television Champion” literally, Gorgeous George and his “Focus” entourage (including media magnate David Otunga 2014) have been making the late night cable rounds… They’ve been hitting up every late night talk show on the circuit to promote Gorgeous George’s comeback and Territory Wars debut… After his “magnificent debut” (aka critical flop) @ Fallout Festival, Gorgeous George will be officially debuting in action at the next XPW Remixed PPV SuperShow “Night of the Champions II”… now everybody has been asking WHO will be George’s opponent for his debut match? Will he squash a ham-n-egger? Has Otunga secured an opponent’s contract? Well during his TV rounds Gorgeous George has made it abundantly clear who he wants his opponent to be, as he has been ABSOLUTELY TRASHING THE MIZ!! You see, Gorgeous George IS Hollywood and MADE TV… not made FOR tv! The Miz is a poseur, a wanksta and he’s holding Gorgeous George’s belt! The Miz has yet to respond, aside from vague sarcastic tweets, but fans are told to expect something big on the next XPW TV Episode…



Gorgeous George is the uncrowned champion of all Television!!!

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Mildred Burke is seen meeting with Ed "Strangler" Lewis, who has some unfortunate news to tell her... despite all their finest finagling, Burke's original contract is iron-clad. Which means for an entire duration of at least 365 days, Mildred Burke is BANNED from competing against other females in sanctioned competition... so Mildred Burke is given a choice: A) accept a managerial license and wait out the rest of the 365 day clause... or B) continue active competition, but it won't be against women... Burke is given time to make her decision...


** CUT TO RING **

** XPW Woman’s Championship **



WENDI RICHTER © versus ANNIE SOCIAL

versus

Solid little exchange that serves to satisfy both the fans of woman’s wrestling, and those who seek some minor titillation… announcers put over both competitors, and say this is Annie Social’s one-on-one rematch from Fallout Festival… Richter plays fair, but when Annie Social ups the antes with hair pulls and treacherous stuff like that, Wendi brings the brawl too… in the end Richter misses a Rocker Dropper, Annie Social tries to wrap her up in a Skull-Crushing Finale, but Richter kicks OFF the turnbuckles and winds up on top of Social in bridge position! 1!.. 2!.. 3!! Richter retains, with shades of her first Wrestlemania victory!

Winner (and STILL XPW Remixed Woman’s champion): WENDI RICHTER



Post match after the celebration, Annie Social is bitchy and upset… and declines the handshake of mutual respect, marching backstage defiantly instead… no big deal, Richter celebrates with the belt and the fans as her manager and #1 fan Cyndi Lauper regales us with another live performance!!! This is Cyndi's second appearence of the night, and she's brought along a musical guest... also, XPW Remixed's NEWEST female fighting sensation NATALYA NEIDHART as well, who claps politely and acknowledges champion Wendi Richter and her belt...




************


LIZZY BORDEN: Its better than most of the other stuff out there. It's hardcore action, it's comedy, it's beautiful girls. Some fans of wrestling watch every show they can. In L.A our show is on KJLA and it airs Saturdays at midnight. From 10 to 11 they air the WWF's Jakked. From 11 to 12 they air ECW. And from 12 to 1 they air us, so fans get three hours of wrestling on a Saturday night. We used to be at 11 P.M butt since we were more violent and sexual and just more extreme than ECW, the station switched our timeslot. But we attract a lot of people to our shows who aren't wrestling fans and kind of make fans out of them. They come for the girls or the violence, or whatever. Mainly for the girls! (Smiles)

** CUT **
____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

Locker room promo from the (Real) Kings of Wrestling, all three of them still glistening with sweat... they cut an intense promo saying they're all on the same page... until Jessica Darlin starts her whiny Southern drawl complaining about something at the end and they all start bickering...

Cut to the locker room of the XPW Remixed tag team champion Fabulous Kangaroos, with their manager "Wild" Red Berry... the bodyguard Bam Bam Bigelow lurks in the background as well... Berry cuts a brief promo about the "gentleman's agreement" he has with The Grand Wizard (see XPW TV Episode #39), and now with the (Real) Kings of Wrestling as well - who will contest the following match under scientific rules...


** CUT TO RING **

** XPW Tag Team Championship **



FABULOUS KANGAROOS © (w/ “Wild” Red Berry)
Versus
(Real) Kings of Wrestling (w/ Jessica Darlin)




Versus



“Wild” Red Berry – manager of the new tag team champion Fabulous Kangaroos – has promised a scientific affair here, between two of the “most over babyface teams in the world!” Although he has ALSO made a few snide, tongue-in-cheek jokes about Jessica Darlin “choking” and “screwing” the (Real) Kings of Wrestling team... FabKang #1 Al Costello starts with Phil “Gunner” Shatter (2013) and they lock-up... crowd is already booing both teams and chanting "We Want Tables!". So the two teams start slugging it out, and drag it out through the crowd area. So now even the cynical fans are getting emotionally involved in the match... (Real) Kings of Wrestling dominate the early going, and Jessica Darlin prances and preens at ringside, rubbing it all in Berry’s angry screw-face... FabKang #2 Roy Heffernan and Austin Idol are brawling by the fans, and Jessica Darlin actually successfully interferes on her teams behalf... “flashing” the FabKang, causing him to be dropped CROTCH FIRST on the steel guard rail by Idol! Then he and Jessica Darlin team up to slide Heffernan the rest of the way down the guardrail! Big pop for that one!



FabKangs make the big comeback, and another “we want tables!” chant breaks out. So the two teams oblige. The FabKangs actually wind up double-suplexing Shatter OFF the steel ring steps THROUGH a table at ringside! “HOLY S***” chants for that. Still unable to get a pin though... Idol double clotheslines the FabKangs, and the (Real) Kings of Wrestling hit an old fashioned, Pitbulls-styled superbomb off the top rope on Fab Kang #1 Al Costello! “XPW” chants for that! But “Wild” Red Berry stops the refs count, and things are no long civil between the two teams. Now Jessica Darlin is squawking at Berry ringside, as he waves his cane angrily. Austin Idol hits a neck breaker on Heffernan but can’t get the 3. Gunner comes into the ring with a steel chair! Al Costello has a steel chair too! The ref just got taken out! OMG now “Wild” Red Berry & Jessica Darlin are in the ring! Phil Shatter takes a might steel chair SWING at Berry’s head! But the wily manager drops out of the way just in time and JESSICA DARLIN GETS HIT WITH A STEEL CHAIR! Oooooooooo! Shatter just clobbered Darlin with a steel chair, and drops the weapon in stunned embarrassment! Darlin is DOWN and Austin Idol is AGHAST! Steel chairs and tables and fists everywhere! All 4-men are brawling so wildly – without a referee – the match has to be called off on account of sudden anarchy! This is insane! Austin Idol winds up scooping Jessica Darlin in his arms, ala Hulk Hogan/Elizabeth and rushing her backstage – leaving Phil “Gunner” Shatter to eat a FabKang-version of a 3D through a table in the ring! FabKangs still have the belts!

Winners: NONE (no finish)



** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

SHOW-CLOSING ANGLE


SHANE DOUGLAS: The reason I went public is that I felt very strongly that if I tried to hush this up, it would inevitably leak out at some point, thereby giving the impression that this was something that I was embarrassed of. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I don’t hide my head in shame! I felt very strongly that if I spoke openly about it [the conspiracy to discredit Douglas' orginal XPW title reign] that maybe there might be other people out there that would be able to find a path it took me five years to find! Since I’ve done that I’ve had scores of people come up to me and tell me that after reading my story it helped open their eyes. So from that sense I’m very proud of it!



We are in the midst of our show-closing rant from Shane Douglas promising to make a declaration on the next XPW TV Episode… when we’re drawn to a disturbance off camera… oh my, that’s SUNNY & SHAD GASPARD crashing the XPW Online set! An angry, shouting confrontation takes place between Sunny & Lizzy Borden while their men swear and look hard behind them! This is starting to look like the set of the Jerry Springer show, as waves of XPW security personnel separate the two parties… Sunny is telling Lizzy this is HER show and all kinds of stuff… but THAT arguing point draws ANOTHER figure into the fray… the slight (yet highly curvaceous) SAMMI LANE! The ORIGINAL host of XPW Online!



Sammi Lane with the teddy bear gifted to her by French Angel

She’s quick to remind both Sunny & Lizzy of that fact, before chewing out Lizzy for her false allegations against Angel – saying her man Maurice Tillet (aka “French Angel”) will be back on the next XPW TV! And they’ve got a challenge… something that perks the ears of all quarrelling parties… XPW Remixed management loves ménage-a-trois with 3 beautiful women and something on the line… so on the next XPW TV Episode there will be a 3-way Intergender Tag-Team match… a prelude to “Night of Champions II”, if you will… Sunny & Shad G vs Lizzy & Shane D vs… Sammi Lane & French Angel! Winning team becomes the NEW & PERMANENT hosts of XPW ONLINE!!!! The news causes everybody to erupt with more shouting, and when Lizzy & Sunny start pulling hair, wild flailing and flinging too… the boys try to pry their woman apart while Sammi Lane just giggles to herself, twirls her hair and exits the scene! 3-Way Tag Team match with the right to be called XPW Online HOSTS!!! NEXT XPW TV!!!


** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz © versus "Sick" Nick Mondo (2002) / or Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

** Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match **

Gorgeous George debut match!!!


__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

HEATH SLATER: WWE NXT Interview (3/12/10)
HONKY TONK MAN: Wrestling inc interview April 02, 2012
B-BOY: SoCal Uncensored interview (2001)
DANNY HAVOC: Tripod Blog ("Insane Lane" 10/22/08)
LIZZY BORDEN: RedHotDivas.com interview (October 2000)
SHANE DOUGLAS: Baltimore Sun (9/18/09)








Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!

BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING is back...

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
Ecosystem
The Rowdy One






Posts 2805
Registered 5-18-2004
Member Is Offline

Mood:

posted on 4-15-2012 at 04:32 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Whoa, there's a lot of fun stuff happening down here. Nice work, can't believe I missed this. more substantive comments later. Slater and Honky Tonk Man is inspired.





There doesn't have to be a "victim" here. There can just be two assholes.
-Lucky Lopez

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 4-20-2012 at 06:32 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ecosystem
Whoa, there's a lot of fun stuff happening down here. Nice work, can't believe I missed this. more substantive comments later. Slater and Honky Tonk Man is inspired.

Cool man. Thanks for the copy. I understand it's a pretty long train here. Might make easier reading in episodic format:

http://bigelow34.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=stepdad

[Edited on 4-20-2012 by mastermind]





Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!

BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING is back...

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 4-20-2012 at 06:37 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
EPISODE #40



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

MATT STRIKER: Wrestling and all the antics and fanfare that come with it has been innate in me for as long as I can remember. A wrestler is a special person, when a wrestler walks into a room he/she brings with them a presence that cannot be explained. I generally have an idea as to what I think will entertain the people. As it pertains to XPW Remixed, that character is the closest representation to my real personality. I love wrestling, I have always been enamored with the sport and the athletes and their personalities. I always include the input of my fellow wrestlers whenever there is something that involves them, such as a character or behavior in a match. I just go out there and go with the flow and the fans seem to enjoy it. I enjoy doing "gimmicks" like the upcoming "Money-in-the-Bank" match at "Night of Champions II" (with qualifying matches coming up tonight), but I also really enjoy a contest of strength and skill. Trying to wear down your opponent and defeat him is the real essence of the sport.

Night of Champions II coming soon from an unspecified location in LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA!!



** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying Match **

JON MOXLEY versus Mystery Opponent (w/ “Wild” Red Berry)

versus ... ?

Jon Moxley enters first to a huge reception… theme song for Berry’s camp kicks in and the entire mood turns sour… “Wild” Red Berry enters alongside the ostensible opponent for the night Bam Bam Bigelow… much like Sheamus is facing TGW’s goon Ken Patera tonight, one can only assume Bam Bam Bigelow is set to compete against Moxley tonight for “MitB” entry… and Berry is quick to play up that perception too… until suddenly announcing Bam Bam Bigelow is NOT competing in this Qualifying Match because he’s ALREADY IN THE Money-in-the-Bank match @ “NoCII”!!! Perks of being the manager of champions! But then what does that mean for Moxley’s opponent tonight!?!? Ladies and gentleman – per “Wild” Red Berry – introducing to XPW Remixed…

”APACHE” BULL RAMOS!!!



Berry and his giant “Beast from the East” Bam Bam Bigelow were already in the ring, crowding Moxley and staring him down before the sudden reveal… which allows the big, burly Indian newcomer to rush Moxley from the rear and begin the beatdown! Ring the bell we’re off! Bull Ramos is a big, mean Bull in a China shop here with Solie & Striker giving you the run-down on commentary: former #1 Contender, Territory Wars debut, “born in an adobe hut on the San Carlo, New Mexico, Indian reservation" and "redskinned dynamite, dressed in an Indian vest and wearing an Indian headhand” and a bigger, badder mercenary-for-hire than Wade Barrett… he clobbers Moxley with Berry & Bigelow watching on from ringside approvingly… until Jon Moxley has the audacity to mount a comeback, and quickly things turn south… soon the deal becomes readily apparent, as Ramos & Bigelow say “F the rulebook” and collapse on Moxley in tandem… under Berry’s guidance, the two monsters unleash a ladder and start pulverizing Moxley with it… It doesn’t even matter if Moxley makes the “Qualifier”… he’ll never make the PPV… at least that was the intention – until none other than SHEAMUS makes the babyface run-in for the save! He clotheslines Bigelow over the top rope and shoulderblocks Bull Ramos through the middle ropes! The bad guys scatter from ringside while the announcer proclaims Moxley the victor by DQ!! Sheamus lingers to make sure Moxley is all right, and offer to help him off the canvas… but Moxley doesn’t accept Sheamus’ hand! Instead he just stands before the Celtic Warrior glaring hard into his eyes before walking out of the ring… leaving Sheamus standing alone with a Poker players blank expression on his face…

Winner (by DQ): JON MOXLEY

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Back from commercial break and we’ve got our first little backstage tiff… “Wild” Red Berry is in the corridor jawing angrily back-and-forth with The Grand Wizard over the failed miscommunication that allowed Sheamus to bulrush the ring last segment… behind Berry we see the tandem of Bam Bam Bigelow & Bull Ramos (“the NEW Twin Towers!”) as Striker calls them on commentary… backing The Grand Wizard is Ken Patera (1982) and The Sheik… it’s clear through this exchange that the tenuous alliance between Berry & TGW is officially hanging from a thread…


** CUT TO RING **

** Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying Match **

SHEAMUS (2012) versus KEN PATERA (1977) w/ The Grand Wizard

versus w/

Sheamus is already in the ring from the last segment (with his music playing again) when The Grand Wizard enters the stage area ala Vickie Guerrero to triumphantly ring-announce the Olympic strongman KEN PATERA (1977)… they start with a few poses, lock-ups and feats of strength (TGW tosses Patera an apple that he crushes in his hand)… but Sheamus remains thoroughly unimpressed and nonplussed throughout whole scenario… Sheamus kicks the offense up to 2012 with charging shoulder tackles and rapid-fire forearms to the chest, while TGW curses and shakes his fist ringside… finally THEY have enough and attempt to say “F the rulebook” as well… TGW slides Patera a steel chair that he absolutely PASTES Sheamus across the back with – raising a bright red welt… but aside from a slight crumble, Sheamus NO-SELLS the chair shot! Turns around with that wild, great-white-shark-in-a-blood-frenzy look in his eye, and BROGUE KICKS the chair through Patera’s FACE! Sheamus swoops in for the 3-count! But he’s still not finished! With the crowd driven into a frenzy, Sheamus retrieves the steel chair and POUNDS Ken Patera into the mat about a ½ dozen times!!! He drives The Grand Wizard out of the ring! Now “Wild” Red Berry and his twin-tower combination of Bam Bam Bigelow & Bull Ramos have appeared on the entrance ramp to stare down the frenzied barbarian Sheamus… but he only greets them with Irish vinegar, practically begging them to come to the ring and finish this right here and now! But they just stare Sheamus down from across the arena to end the segment, as announcers speculate on the relationships between Berry/TGW and Sheamus/Moxley…

Winner: SHEAMUS


*****************

** CUT BACKSTAGE **

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ has a confrontation with company VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt over the assault he & Bruno suffered at the end of XPW TV Episode #39… Mondt tries to placate Thesz about another potential screwjob (taking Thesz’ threats to leave with the XPW belt and tour the country VERY seriously) by offering a compromise… to ensure absolutely no shenanigans or favoritism occur in tonight’s Main Event #1 Contenders match between “Sick” Nick Mondo (2002) and Ezekiel Jackson (2012)… Lou Thesz has officially been made SPECIAL REFEREE!!! Lou Thesz has basically been given the power to choose his own opponent at “Night of Champions II”… will he call the match down the middle?? Or does he have a hidden agenda?? Find out tonight!




LOU THESZ: First, I do not keep up with the shoot fighting. I found it to be void of wrestling and skill and more brute strength with very little if any "sport" about it. XPW Remixed started with great ideas and good talent, but eventually gave in to the stupidity of performance (which incidentally was their undoing). I have no idea as to the ratio of performance and cometition in the matches. I did lots of coaching and was a spokesperson for the new sport as well as lending the old championship belt to the equation. When the side show started, I dropped out with the belt. As nice a guy as Mondo or Jackson is, I just couldn't tolerate him with the belt....

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Diamond Dynasty balls out of control – all in plush designer wear rocking expensive jewelry and the ever-present Diamond Dynasty Rolex watches… Alex Riley & Matt Morgan will be the face of the new-look XPW Remixed tag team division… Missy Hyatt gets a chance to do a breathless, mock-interview segment with the boys like she’s Maria Menonous and this is EXTRA… skit culminates with Buddy Rogers being so confident in the LA Lakers victory tonight that he puts down a $10k bet on them (“pocket change”)… The Diamond Dynasty IS the glitz, glamour and Hollywood of professional wrestling! And they only make sure bets! Missy closes with a potshot at Jessic Darlin (valet to the former XPW Remixed tag team champion (Real) Kings of Wrestling.




MISSY HYATT: We're going to teach you the meaning of the word respect. Because you're nothing but a low class bimbo! You don't have the education that I do. You learned everything you know in trailer parks while I was going to the finest boarding schools in New England!! The Diamond Dynasty will give you the education you never got...

** CUT **

”TAG TEAM TURMOIL”

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



MSD is back after his ruthless power bombing to interview a hyper-active “Wild” Red Berry… he’s with his entire camp, that now includes big Bull Ramos next to Bam Bam Bigelow and the tag team champion FabKangs… first Berry notifies the world that his agreement with TGW is officially OFF! If The Grand Wizard can’t hold up his end of he bargain so be it! It’s every manager for himself in XPW Remixed and we already see who the real manager of champions is! Segue to some brief Australian-tinged words from the FabKangs who (in typical, haughty, condescending, sarcastic fashion) claim the (Real) Kings of Wrestling are “un-American” for their actions during the title rematch (see XPW Online #15)… that was supposed to be a scientific battle! But since (Real) KoW proved they were only savages they DO NOT deserve another title shot! That’s it!



But this decree from Berry only draws XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis into the picture for a correction… actually, the (Real) Kings of Wrestling are already signed for a rematch at “Night of Champions II”!!! Berry is outraged at the news!



But before he can flip out completely, we are greeted by “Real Deal” Damien Steele and his entourage… “whoa whoa whoa here”… turns out, as the result of the no-finish from last week, and being the man with the book in XPW Remixed, Damien Steele already sold the Tag Team #1 Contendership spot!!! There is a touch of confusion as Berry & Lewis stop to register Steele’s nervous announcement… who did he sell the spot to?



But before he can answer - XPW VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt enters the picture as well! As official overseer of the Tag Team division in XPW Remixed, Mister Mondt has already signed a team to a title shot at “Night of Champions II”… and it’s NOT Steele’s team or the (Real) Kings of Wrestling! Oh my! A miscommunication between match-making management in XPW Remixed has lead to a FATAL 4-WAY tag team championship match at “Night of Champions II”!!! Fabulous Kangaroos defend against (Real) Kings of Wrestling… and TWO mystery teams!!!


** CUT **

******************

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Arguments can be heard erupting from inside the (Real) Kings of Wrestling locker room... Austin Idol & Gunner are arguing over the accident last Episode (Gunner hit her with a chair) that left Jessica Darlin in a neck brace and acting like more of whiny bitch than usual... it's clear the (Real) KoW are on their last legs... or are they? Does "Night of Champions II" promise redemption? Gunner angrily SLAMS the locker room door to continue their argument when he notices cameras watching on...


** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"WHAT A WOMAN'S WORTH"



Press conference skit, addressing Mildred Burke’s decision RE: her contractual stipulations (see XPW Online #15)… Ms. Burke takes the podium to address the press but can only get a few words out before we have an interruption… from the back of the auditorium LIZZY BORDEN & CHYNA have busted through the wall of security to make their presence (loudly) known… Borden hoots and hollers at Burke up on the stage, while Chyna leers menacingly… Borden hijacks the press conference to announce Chyna’s newest film endeavor (the stuff she & Shane Douglas were discussing on XPW Online #14)… such disgusting, graphic, degrading content! The crowd is aghast, horrified and offended and finally Mildred Burke has enough… she’s about to bomb on Lizzy like KRS-One did PM Dawn (aka “throw they lollygagging asses off stage”) but before she can - Chyna steps in – towering over the 5’3” Mildred Burke… Lizzy Borden (on behalf of her Glamazon Chyna) has a few more words for Burke: Lizzy Borden was the evil mastermind behind Burke’s contract to begin with – and before Mildred Burke is forced to slink off into the shadows of fantasy wrestling for good, Borden is offering her one more match – one last payday… a rematch against CHYNA… if Burke wins… SHE WILL GET A TITLE SHOT (!?!?) Chyna is just itching to avenge her loss to Burke and they have seemingly gone to any lengths here to guarantee Burke accepts the rematch… Will Burke * FINALLY * be able to legally compete against other women?? Find out when Burke & Chyna meet on the NEXT XPW TV EPISODE!!



Former WWE diva turned porn star Chyna just filmed another adult movie – and her latest flick is a parody of WWE’s Royal Rumble. Chyna will “perform” with 9 men that all look like famous wrestlers, including Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, John Cena, Doink The Clown and of course, her ex-boyfriend, Triple H..

** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** King of the Death Match Championship **



”REAL DEAL” DAMIEN STEELE (w/ Lord Humongous)
versus
SABIAN



versus


The advanced power trip of XPW Commissioner and now XPW King of the Death Match champion “REAL DEAL” DAMIEN STEELE continues… now with his championship gold, entourage and renewed working relationship with the bosses, Steele’s ego has grown to tyrannical proportions… he continues to use that power against BLKOUT for what he perceives as gratuitous displays of disrespect… Steele’s blood feud with Nick Gage ended at “Fallout Festival” when he banished the “Future of Hardcore” Nick Gage from XPW Remixed… and Steele won’t stop until he sends the rest of BLKOut to the morgue along with Gage’s fantasy wrestling career… In action, Damien Steele reminds you of a young, long-haired Test – only about a foot shorter in height… his entourage (including the gigantic Lord Humongous & sexy Jasmin St Claire) are just as big a part of Steele’s act as his bluster, office title & championship belt… Steele is using the classic “cowardly heel” gimmick here who in reality HATES defending his championship belt (because Death Match wrestling FUCKING HURTS)… so he carries Lord Humungous around with him now everywhere he goes and the big guys earth-shattering powerbombs usually wind up retaining Steele’s gold belt for him… but that doesn’t mean Steele’s opponents don’t still get their licks in – as seeing him bloody & beaten is one of the primary reasons fans pay for tickets (some of that ol’ “Steve Corino ECW 1999” type juice)…



Tonight – after proudly announcing they injured Michael Tarver (see XPW Online #15) – Damien Steele had Ruckus & Sabian jumped and beaten backstage (throw to video footage of the attack on the big screen perpetuated by Lord Humongous – including a choke slam to Ruckus through a stack of pallets)… Steele says he’s here for his big 30-day title defense, but because his opponent isn’t – he automatically wins by forfeit… big boos… but WAIT! Cue Beanie Sigel through the arena loud speakers! Enter SABIAN!



A little worse for the wear after the beatdown, but as he reminds you on the mic, he’s survived GUNSHOT WOUNDS in XPW Remixed canon (see XPW TV Episode #23) so he can survive a little roughing up from the “biggest pussy in Death Match wrestling today” Damien Steele!!! Those are fighting words and little Sabian has no fear – rushing the ring, vaulting over Lord Humongous onto the ring apron – then bounding off the top rope with a flying Lou Thesz press to Steele, jumpstarting the match in exciting fashion! Chairs, guardrails, ring posts and a broken 40 oz bottle all get brought into play (but nothing TOO Xtreme like fire, hooks, needles or weed wackers)… Sabian gets the quick burst of offense and close near fall, but predictably the injuries and numbers game becomes too much… distracted by Jasmin St Claire’s cleavage (and stuffing his face in there in a hilariously perverted display) Sabian falls prey to a choke slam on the arena floor from Lord Humongous… followed by a “Deal Breaker” (similar to a “Shake-Rattle-n-Roll” neckbreaker) from Damien for the gloating pin fall cover… postmatch Steele and his crew are in the process of setting up a table and putting Sabian through it – when his partner Ruckus makes the desperate run-in… Ruckus calls Steele a poseur just like his jacked-up bodyguard… HE’S NOT THE REAL THING! But before Ruckus can go any further, or protect Sabian, or unmask Lord Humungous, he’s set upon by Steele’s crew and viciously dismantled… ends with a hellacious powerbomb from Lord Humungous that drives Ruckus through the wooden table in the middle of the ring… Steele poses with his belt and crew like they rule the world… another successful title defense…

Winner (and STILL XPW KotDM): “Real Deal” Damien Steele

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contenders Match **

ANNIE SOCIAL versus ALEXXIS NEVEAH

versus

The sound of disturbance backstage draws cameras near… somewhere in the locker room area, we find a vicious unrestrained brawl has broken out between Alexxis Nevaeh & Natalya Neidhart!?!? Less of a “brawl” and more of a thorough ass-whoopin, it ends with Natalya nearly snapping Alexxis’ back with a Sharpshooter while officials try to pry her off! What is going on here? What has come over Natalya?! Now she says she’s coming for Annie Social! We cut to the ring where Annie Social is already there awaiting her opponent (Alexxis) but instead we get the defiant march of Natalya Neidhart! They go face to face in the ring, before Social unleashes a wicked SLAP to the face… that Natalya just slowly no-sells and smiles to… before unleashing hell upon Annie Social… quick strikes, spinning lariat, Samoan drop, Sharpshooter… quick tap… just like that Natalya has “WON” the #1 Contendership!

Winner (by submission): NATALYA NEIDHART

Post match – none other than MTV celebrity and XPW Remixed celebrity superstar CYNDI LAUPER makes the run-in! She angrily confronts Natalya, demanding to know why she attacked Alexxis – and why she’s taking a match against the champion Wendi Richter like this?? But Natalya doesn’t flinch… she only smiles, and ATTACKS Cyndi Lauper! Within moments the skinny musician is on the mat SCREAMING while locked in Natalya’s sharpshooter! There aren’t enough XPW officials in the WORLD to pry Neidhart off Lauper! She doesn’t stop until Cyndi Lauper is removed on a stretcher from XPW Remixed for GOOD! Cuz Natalya Neidhart didn’t come to XPW Remixed “to have fun”! SHE CAME TO DOMINATE!!! Wendi Richter – you’re next at “Night of Champions II”!!



Natalya Neidhart doesn't play - she came to dominate!

** CUT **

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



The sounds of violent destruction draw TV cameras near… there is a disturbance in the locker room area… there, in the private dressing room of Bruno Sammartino, is the enraged Samoa Joe… he’s ripping apart the locker room seam by seam, while yelling for Bruno to fight him… when the cameras catch him in the act, Joe cuts a quick, shouting promo crackling with intensity as he regales us of his attack on Bruno last week – and his intention to draw Bruno out of hiding for “ONE MORE MATCH!” Joe needs to avenge is loss to da Brune from “MBVII”… but is Sammartino man enough to answer the challenge?


** CUT TO RING **

____________________________________________________________________________________

B-BOY versus ADAM PEARCE (w/ Ad Santel)
("Loser Leaves XPW Remixed" Match)

versus w/

Gang warfare in pro wrestling… a throwback to late 90s WWF, mid 90s ECW, late 80s Los Angeles, Prohibition-era cool… “New Age Punisher” B-BOY and his band of faceless, bandanna’d-up OGz from the barrio – versus Ad Santel’s school of classically trained shooters and hookers… each camp separated by decades and generations and entire cultures… yet each still stakes a claim to the West Coast territory like it’s wrestling Holy Land… Adam Pearce had his run in XPW Remixed – culminating in a run with the Midwestern Championship – but that ride comes to an end tonight… because B-Boy is in the midst of a revolution, resurrection & rebirth… match style varies from the others you’ve seen tonight, and features more stiff shoot strikes and hard-style suplexes… Pearce & B-Boy exhibit exceptional mat wrestling as well, showcasing futuristic submission holds and counters… in the end it turns into a lumberjack match when both sides finally clash… Adam Pearce gets a chair tossed to him by his coach Ad Santel, but misses the swing and gets caught in a Delikado-finisher (on the steel chair) for the climatic pin! B-Boy has banished Ad Santel’s top West Coast lieutenant from XPW Remixed for GOOD! Security has a hard time separating the two warring camps at ringside, but B-Boy has enough time to grab a mic and challenge Ad Santel head-on… B-Boy is just going to keep running through his camp like a buzzsaw until he gets what he WANTS… head coach Ad Santel one-on-one!!!

Winner: B-BOY

Post match, XPW Commissioner Damien Steele arrives with reinforcements and has B-Boy’s gang hustled away and out of the building… but doesn’t have the remaining Cali Cripplers ejected as well… that leaves Ad Santel unencumbered, taunting B-Boy from the ring apron – allowing his tag team sensation the USO’s to blindside and double team B-Boy!!! Stereo top rope splashes from the Uso’s. In a shocking turn of events, Ad Santel actually calls for the wheel barrel of cement and gives B-Boy the head dunk treatment! Lays the dead fish on B-Boy’s chest! Ad Santel on the mic for the close – he ACCEPTS B-Boy’s challenge… at “Night of Champions II”… but ONLY if it’s the FINAL chapter of their West Coast feud… “Loser Leaves XPW Remixed Match”!!! At “NoCII”, Ad Santel takes B-Boy out of fantasy wrestling for GOOD! Close with the shot of Santel and the Uso’s standing over B-Boy’s unconscious body (head soaked with cement), dead fish on his chest, with their arms stretched aloft in victory… Ad Santel runs the muthaphuckkin WEST COAST!!!



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"WAR IS MY DESTINY"

After being besmirched, disrespected, attacked and called out - Bruno Sammartino has enough... he acknowledges his stalker Samoa Joe and ACCEPTS his challenge for a rematch at "Night of Champions II"!!!


SAMOA JOE: Is wrestling the greatest moral compass and example of how to live your life? Absolutely not, because we solve almost everything through violence! But at the same time, if you’re looking at it that seriously, then I think you’re missing the plot. I think when companies hire me they know what they are hiring, and they get me for that reason. I think the biggest change that I’ve made is that I make an effort not to do things that some people may not be able to defend themselves against – but that’s more along the lines of professional courtesy. There hasn’t been much adaptation whatsoever for me to be honest – they hired me to be a hard-hitting, no-nonsense ass-kicker and that’s what I tend to be!



BRUNO SAMMARTINO: From what I've seen, there is no nudity, no vulgarity and no profanity here in my realm of fantasy wrestling. These guys go out and bust their butts and keep it clean. That's how wrestling should be. Why do we need the vulgarity in the first place? People need a reason to become interested in a product and if profanity is the way to go, then I just don't see it. Samoa Joe, he just doesn't care. He'll do whatever he wants. He's just a sick-minded idiot. How low can you go? It's disgusting. People would always tell me that if I didn't like the product to stop being involved. So I have, for the most part. But I had to come back to XPW Remixed to right the wrongs of the past once and for all. If I do watch a show nowadays, they say it's a sellout, but you block off a third of the arena for lighting and what not, plus you tarp off another section and what do you have left? We turned people away back when I wrestled. We drew the fans for the pure wrestling, not for the sex and vulgarity thrown at you now. It's just ridiculous. Joe, you want some? At "Night of Champions II" you got some... tis the season for sportsmanship in the Territory Wars and I'm taking you OUT for good!

Bruno Sammartino vs Samoa Joe - THE REMATCH!!
Only at "Night of Champions II"!!!


** CUT **

**************

"Global relocation of the work force"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis in his office wrapping up a phone call… his secretary knocks on the door and allows in “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble… brief confrontation between him & Lewis, in which the Boston-area Tony Rumble is complaining vehemently about XPW Remixed’s permanent re-location to California… doesn’t Lewis know that makes it IMPRACTICAL for people on the RIGHT coast of the country!?!? Lewis calmly listens and offers a very viable solution to Rumble’s travel woes… contract termination… if you don’t like the move, then don’t take the job. Rumble says FINE! I QUIT! He slams his managers license onto President Lewis' desk and storms out of the office! Ed Lewis just shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly and goes back to his phone… but then Rumble slowly sneaks back in, tail between legs… oh gosh, he was just kidding about quitting… he tries discreetly reaching for his license BACK off the desk, but Lewis humorously keeps it from him... Rumble is full-blown sleaze mode, maybe Lewis can break him off with a little re-location fee or something? Just to ease his transition?... instead, Lewis flies into a fury and completely buries Rumble before calling security to escort him from the building!! Tony Rumble YOU’RE FIRED!!! He rips up Tony's managers license! Oh no! The Boston Bad Boy flies into a comical, over-exaggerated fluster as he begs and pleads to keep his job while security muscles him around and forces him out of the office… Ed Lewis just says GOOD RIDDANCE! Then he shuts his office door to have some peace and quiet, as Rumble is dragged kicking and screaming out of XPW Remixed for good…


** CUT **
____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Intrepid backstage correspondent MSD spots Olympia head coach William Muldoon arriving in the building and rushes over for a quick interview… Muldoon is more distraught than outright incensed over his loss to turncoat student Hakushi Kuro (see “Fallout Festival”)… and he’s here tonight with a few words for fellow comrades-in-arms Mil Mascaras and John Cena… Muldoon wants to make sure the true spirit of competition remains, and that the black incorrigible taint of Hakushi Kuro doesn’t linger over the Boston championship and tarnish that…


** CUT TO RING **

** Winning team becomes PERMANENT hosts of XPW Online **

SHANE DOUGLAS & LIZZY BORDEN
vs
SHAD GASPARD & SUNNY
vs
FRENCH ANGEL & SAMMI LANE

(Intergender Triple Threat Tag Match)

versus
versus

In XPW Remixed battles are fought over lust, pride, jealously, resentment, respect – but most of all – for money. The title of XPW Online Host is certainly a boost to one’s respective ego & TV time (which impacts sponsorships and promos, etc..) but most importantly it means a serious hike in pay… just like any job there is a long line of treacherous cut throats waiting to take that spot by any means necessary… this match here is no exception… Sammi Lane was actually original host of the series, before being yanked in a political power play by Sunny (part of her arrival in XPW Remixed required specialized camera time for her)… but karma is a bitch and Sunny found herself muscled out of the position by Lizzy Borden and her man (the Unofficial XPW Champion) Shane Douglas…



This match helps fulfill the “sportz entertainment” quota of our show tonight, with plenty of shenanigans involved with all 3 teams (who all hate and despise each other equally)… Shad Gaspard out muscles Shane - Douglas tries to avoid Angel - Angel roars through Shad – Shane takes out Angel with Lizzy’s distraction… in the darkest moment of the match, poor Sammi Lane is trying to revive French Angel only to find herself the last one remaining in the ring with both Douglas & Borden inching closer to her with obviously evil intentions… Shane Douglas actually grabs Sammi by her hair at one point, but that’s enough to revive French Angel from the dead and act like a can of spinach to Popeye… while Sunny & Lizzy Borden wind up on the arena floor tearing each other’s clothes off, French Angel plows through Douglas with a series of charging shoulder tackles before finishing with a bearhug into an overhead suplex toss that puts Douglas through the wooden table HE propped up in the corner!! French Angel gestures for Sammi Lane to enter the ring, and protects her as she hooks Shane’s leg and gets the pinfall victory! Angel & Lane have done it! They’re the new & permanent hosts of XPW Online! Angel hoists her on his shoulder Macho Man & Elizabeth-style, while the rest of the bad guys are separated and fume…

Winners: FRENCH ANGEL & SAMMI LANE



Postmatch, as Borden is helping Shane back to the dressing room – Sammi Lane is on the mic for the match-closing finale… where she CHALLENGES both Douglas & Borden to finish this once and for all at “Night of Champions II”… when her man French Angel will be challenging Douglas for his FAKE GOLD BELT! And when they win they’re tossing it in the Pacific Ocean with the rest of the garbage and sewage!!!

** Unofficial XPW Championship **
Shane Douglas © & Lizzy Borden vs French Angel & Sammi Lane

only at "Night of Champions II"!!


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"THREE SIDES OF DANGER"



William Muldoon returns as attempted peace keeper but his conversation with Mil Mascaras and John Cena turns abruptly south when Cena & Mascaras' respective machismo turns them against each other... something Muldoon warns is Hakushi Kuro's whole intent... for at "Night of Champions II" a triple threat match has been signed... Mil Mascaras defends his XPW Boston championship against John Cena... AND Hakushi Kuro... they must remain united to dispose of the evil Hakushi before contesting the championship with honor... but the way Cena & Mascaras' relationship has progressed since "Fallout Festival", it's clear they are not on the same page... especially when John Cena abruptly walks out on their little exchange, before Mascaras does the same... leaving William Muldoon alone to shake his head grimly in dismay...



** XPW Boston Championship **
Mil Mascaras (1975) © versus John Cena (2005) versus Hakushi Kuro (1995)


____________________________________________________________________________________

"A TV STAR IS BORN"



The Miz finally responds to Gorgeous George, Focus & David Otunga (2014)’s recent tirades against him… and in typical grandiose Miz fashion, he did it on some of the biggest stages in Television… YES the MIZ thinks Gorgeous George is all pomp and no circumstance… YES the Miz says David Otunga (2014) is a Red Carpet wannabe… YES the MIZ has seen GG’s naughty pictures and is not impressed!... and finally, YES the MIZ will accept Gorgeous George’s TV title challenge – if not only to knock George off his high-horse and back into the black-and-white era! And the MIZ will do that in HD because he’s AWWWEESSSOOOMMMEEE!!!!

MIZ versus Gorgeous George for the XPW Television Title!!!

Only at “Night of Champions II”!!!




** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


____________________________________________________________________________________

** XPW #1 Contenders Match **

”SICK” NICK MONDO (2002) versus EZEKIEL JACKSON (2012)
(w/ special referee Lou Thesz)

versus

Special Referee

Ezekiel Jackson tries to roll high on his intimidation check by flexing his muscles and rolling his shoulders, as Nick Mondo looks thoroughly unimpressed… but looks can be deceiving. Jackson stalks Mondo at the start of the bell, but Mondo avoids him and tries sticking and moving (light jabs, leg kicks etc)… Until Jackson just rips through his defense – reverses, and stomps the shit out of Mondo in the corner. Big Zeke choke tosses Mondo into the turnbuckles (REALLY putting over the size and strength difference) and lays into him in the corner. Special ref Lou Thesz counts to 10 and admonishes Jackson for not breaking earlier… intense stare down between Thesz & Jackson…



Jackson tries to intimidate Lou Thesz to no avail… Jackson whips Mondo cross-corner but the follow up charge meets Nick’s feet… and “Sick” Nick Mondo makes the brief comeback – before getting cut off by a wicked short-arm clothesline… But Big Zeke misses an elbow drop and, Nick Mondo immediately scrambles into a submission attempt… Jackson just kicks him off and sits-up… so Mondo running dropkicks him back down… A wild suicide flying clothesline sends Jackson to the floor and Mondo follows up with a slingshot con hilo! “XPW! XPW!” Even Lou Thesz looked impressed… Mondo recovers, and tries to come off the apron (announcers say his high-flying dexterity is the key to beating Jackson tonight)… but gets caught in a spinebuster onto the floor!!! BIG POP and minor “HOLY S***!” chant for that. Jackson’s in full control and rams Mondo’s back into the post, “Sick” Nick hobbles into the aisle, and they fight there and onto the stage where Jackson bodyslams him onto the ramp.



They continue to battle in the aisle and back into the ring (Thesz follows but does not administer the double-count… he’s just trying to direct them back into the ring); Jackson pummels “Sick” Nick for a brief period until Mondo hits a surprise (and desperation) DDT on the ramp… Jackson tries to get up so Mondo drops legs and diving elbow drops into Jackson’ body to keep him there… but Big Zeke won’t stay down and Mondo’s frustration is starting to show… Now Thesz & Mondo exchange a few words as action moves back into the ring… Mondo gets an Irish whip reversed and goes sternum first into the turnbuckles… Jackson works the chest using a heart punch, dropping elbows and applying a bow-and-arrow on Mondo – looking for the submission… but Mondo won’t quit… “Sick” Nick Mondo struggles to his feet where Jackson tries to catch his own breath by holding onto a bear hug… “Sick” Nick stomps the toes of the Jackson, trying to create distance, but one stiff lariat puts Mondo back down on the mat… Jackson hoists Mondo up in his torture rack submission! But Mondo won’t quit and tangles his own legs in the ropes for the break… Thesz forces Jackson to drop Mondo’s body, and once again champion and potential challenger have a tense show down… Jackson tries to cover but only gets 2. He stares hard at Thesz again, allowing Mondo to unleash a few more leg kicks… Jackson counters a whip into an elbow out of the corner; but misses a knee in the buckles - damaging his leg and giving “Sick” Nick Mondo something to work on (Zeke is still suffering from the affects of Buddy Rogers crowbar shot to the knee, which is why his match with Rogers at “Fallout Festival” was so short – or so say Solie & Striker on commentary) …



“Sick” Nick zooms in on the leg - stomping away on Jackson’s appendage… he tenaciously works the leg and eventually applies a ringpost figure-four! Thesz counts him and forces the break… Back in the ring, “Sick” Nick applies a traditional figure-four leglock – and after what seems like an eternity - Jackson turns Mondo over forcing him to break the hold. Jackson hobbles over to “Sick” Nick and keeps him boxed in the corner and along the ropes – opening up with a salvo of pulverizing body shots (shades of his past battles with Primo Carnera)… but Big Zeke overcalculates and misses a big kick – this allows “Sick” Nick Mondo to counter and ground Jackson with a leg grapevine… “Sick” Nick keeps the advantage by avoiding a standing clothesline and hits a side-Russian leg sweep for two… snap-suplex and backbreaker follows, but Mondo’s second-rope legdrop finds only mat… both men struggle to their feet and clothesline each other for a double KO… Back up, Mondo kicks the leg out but Jackson pummels his midsection from his knees and moves into full-mount, ground-and-pound… Jackson hits a MASSIVE dominator for the finish… but Mondo surprisingly kicks out! Even Thesz looks a little surprised, and Jackson jaws with him over the speed of the count… but now, we’ve got our first sign of a disturbance as SAMI CALLIHAN & THUMBTACK JACK are making their way to ringside!!! Uh oh! Cut to commercial!!!



“Sick” Nick Mondo hits a series of rope-assisted dives and planchas – keeping Jackson immobile and off base… until Jackson finally CATCHES him in mid-air, and in a rage BENCHPRESSES Mondo over the top rope onto an XPW Camera man below!!! OMG “HOLY S***T” and “XPW!” chants for that! Lou Thesz seriously admonishes Jackson while the evil Sami Callihan and Thumbtack Jack still lurk at ringside… Big Zeke brushes Thesz off and follows Mondo to the floor where he launches him into the ring steps... Back in the ring, Jackson tries to Irish-whip (shout out Danno O’Mahoney!) Mondo into the turnbuckles, but Mondo actually hops ONTO the top turnbuckle and executes a rope-walk flying Superman punch!! It only gets a two count! Big Zeke reverses into a powerbomb attempt, but Mondo counters into a sunset flip… another CLOSE two count! Now we have our first attempted distraction at ringside, as Sami Callihan directs Thumbtack Jack onto the ring apron where he begins arguing with special ref Lou Thesz… this allows Sami Callihan to sneak into the ring with a steel chair… but when Ezekiel Jackson turns around and just STARES HIM DOWN… he slowly retreats – eyes wide – from the ring! Busted! And now… we’ve got another unannounced visitor from the locker room… THE MESSIAH!!! He’s here to keep an eye on the treacherous duo of Callihan and Jack!



Things are getting tense as Jackson & Mondo battle down to the wire (and TV time limit)… sure enough – a shouting match at ringside erupts into fisticuffs when Callihan whips Thumbtack Jack into a brawl with Messiah… chaos at ringside! The Messiah slips free momentarily from the confusion to retrieve a barbed wire-wrapped steel chair and slide it into the ring… right towards Mondo’s feet… Messiah fervently implores Mondo to USE the weapon against Jackson! It’s the only way to slay the monster! But instead, Mondo declines! With a moody, somber look in his eyes he kicks the chair back in Messiah’s direction, seemingly offending him greatly… Mondo then turns around right into the winds of fate (aka “Book of Ezekiel” standing uranage) that bounces his body off the mat with concussive force… special referee Lou Thesz is right in position to make the 3 – count… he does, only inches away from Jackson’s face – both men staring each down the entire time. Big Zeke is the new #1 Contender! He and Lou Thesz rise to their feet – both almost the same height, but Jackson MUCH wider and more ripped… face-off! Stare down! Finger point and chest pound! These two fierce competitors are ready to unleash their FURY at “Night of Champions II”!!! Meanwhile, security forcefully remove Sami Callihan & Thumbtack Jack from the building (again) as Messiah just stares a hole through Mondo’s skull with dark, hypnotic eyes…

Winner (and #1 Contender): EZEKIEL JACKSON



** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...


** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz (1955) © versus Ezekiel Jackson (2012)

** Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match **
Sheamus vs Jon Moxley vs Bam Bam Bigelow vs ? vs ? vs ?

** Unofficial XPW Championship **
Shane Douglas © & Lizzy Borden vs French Angel & Sammi Lane

** XPW Television Championship **
The MIZ (2011) © versus Gorgeous George ** DEBUT **

Bruno Sammartino versus Samoa Joe
II

** XPW Tag Team Championship **
Fabulous Kangaroos © w/ Wild Red Berry vs (Real) Kings of Wrestling w/ Jessica Darlin
versus ?? versus ??

** XPW Boston Championship **
Mil Mascaras (1975) © versus John Cena (2005) versus Hakushi Kuro (1995)




__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

SAMOA JOE: Guru Magazine Interview (2/9/12)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: SLAM! Magazine articles (2007)
MATT STRIKER: Declaration of Independents interview (2004)
MISSY HYATT: "First Lady of Wrestling" autobiography
LOU THESZ: Wrestling Classics messageboard








Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!

BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING is back...

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 4-27-2012 at 01:17 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW ONLINE #16





**SHOW-OPENING INTRO **

XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt meeting with Sami Callihan & Thumbtack Jack in his office… Mondt chews them out - Callihan & Thumbtack Jack have been out of control and on a rampage… but XPW Remixed likes that kind of chaos… so Callihan & Jack are being rewarded… their dark eyes light up… rewarded with a Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match TONIGHT… against EACH OTHER… cue Mondt’s gregarious laughter as Sami & Jack exchange shifty, paranoid glances…


** FADE OUT **

***************

Cut to the NEW in-studio hosts for the show:



SAMMI LANE & FRENCH ANGEL

Pleasant on-screen intro... Sammi is the energetic host, and French Angel the occasional contributor of a one-liner or concise analysis... Ms. Lane is just recapping her and Angel's victory on XPW TV Episode #40, when we have an interruption on the set... Shane Douglas & Lizzy Borden storm in and cause a scene! Angel instinctively stands up to defend Sammi... meanwhile Shane Douglas cuts a heelish promo (referring to Angel as a "freak" and a "jailbird" amongst other things)... Angel thinks he earned a shot at Douglas' championship... but he won't even make it to the PPV, Shane & Lizzy threaten! Oh my, get security in here! Cut to opening credits!!



** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________


HUMAN TORNADO versus SHAD G (w/ Sunny) versus TONY ALTOMARE

versus versus

Brief character-building ring walkouts – with Tony Altomare lip synching (HORRIBLY may I add) Frank Sinatra’s “Fly me to the Moon” – Sunny & Shad mixing heat with cool – and Human Tornado pimp stepping through the fans… tuff-tawkin Tony Altomare gets the brunt of the punishment, and Human Tornado takes time out to glitz Big Shad G and dazzle Sunny with his moves (only to eat an angry running Timberland boot to the FACE from Shad in retaliation)… in the end Human Tornado gets both Shad AND Sunny pinned in the corner where he unleashes a little Jive Soul Bro on them (jukin, jiving, 1-2-step kicks in the corner followed by a split into a lowblow that takes both of them out of the ring… Human Tornado finishes with a Liu-Kang like springing head kick that takes down Altomare for the pin!

Winner: HUMAN TORNADO

But he can’t even complete his match-finishing pimp strut before he’s blindsided and ambushed by a chair-wielding SABU! Apparently he’s returned to seek his revenge upon the flashy, pimptastic showman (see XPW Online #15)! He does so tonight by spearing Human Tornado into the mat and crushing him with a top rope Arabian Face buster, steel chair and all! With madness in his eyes, scars across his body and hatred in his heart, Sabu looms over the carnage and broken body to point cryptically towards the heaven and soak in the boos of the audience…



** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Don't Call it a Cum Back..."

Former WWE Diva - slash - bugged out reality TV star - slash - porn starlet CHYNA speaks on her Territory Wars remergence, alliance with Lizzy Borden's Porn Empire & her upcoming match against Mildred Burke for all the marbles... MSD meets with Chyna in the hot tub for a quick Q&A (about T&A)



MSD: How did you fall in with Lizzy Borden? How did you get back in this game?

CHYNA: Well, in the first place, I’m not really getting back into it. The [sex tape with then-boyfriend Sean “X-Pac” Waltman that was released in 2004] was done to me and it was degrading and violating and a really traumatizing experience.

MSD: So you decided to join her traveling freak show?

CHYNA: You know, I think throughout my career in wrestling it’s kind of been like a three-ring circus. It was a lot of fun and I loved every minute of it. I loved the fans and I loved everything that I did. I branched out from that: I wrote a book and I did Playboy and I did all these things that were very, very successful, and I loved doing every single one of them. So when this came up, I wasn’t necessarily thinking that I was going to go in this direction, but because most of the things I’ve done in my life and most of the experiences have been really great, and this industry was kind of tarnished for me, I just felt mentally that I wanted to experience it, to cross that barrier and see what it was like.

MSD: You were the first woman to compete in a Royal Rumble match... first woman to win the IC title...

CHYNA: I’ve always taken risks and been a pioneer at different things and experiences. And Lizzy Borden... I didn’t really know a whole lot about porn at all, but I knew the company, and I knew that they had the most beautiful women and the hottest guys and that they were a well-known company and a reputable company, so I decided to go for it and it turned out to be a great experience.

MSD: How have you been able to balance that with your on-screen wrestling alliances?

CHYNA: Shane Douglas is incredibly professional. Not only did they pay me well, but I felt really beautiful and sexy and it was fun. I was involved from beginning to end and there was nothing negative about the experience. I found it to be very empowering and it helped me therapeutically with something that I had in my head mentally from a really bad experience and it healed me in a way – it’s kind of crazy.

MSD: Why XPW Remixed? Why are you targeting Mildred Burke?

CHYNA: When I was in WWE, I was in such a great place. Professionally, it was one of the best times of my life and I loved my work. When the carpet was pulled from underneath me, I had a lot of years to heal from that. It took me a long time, which I think most people have seen in the public eye. I kept trying, but it was very difficult and I had some really difficult times. Now I really feel like I’ve come out of that over the past couple years. It’s taken tons of work and healing, but I feel great now, I really do. And when I beat Mildred Burke on the next XPW TV Episode, it will be the ultimate validation.

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Rocks at the Throne"

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



XPW Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele in his office (with entourage) speaking with Ad Santel… the two men are allies in the West Coast sphere of influence… Steele is informing him of the added security precautions he took to prevent B-Boy from bringing backup into the building at “Night of Champions II“… Ad Santel likes this - as his boys the USO BROS are standing close behind him… Ad Santel is preparing for his “warm-up” match tonight… just then, intrepid backstage interviewer MSD (in dry clothes now) enters for some words (as Lord Humongous glares down upon him)…



“Night of Champions II” is the night all XPW titles are on the line… so why hasn’t Damien Steele announced a defense of his KotDM title yet?? Well, Steele suggests, it’s because there are no viable contenders on the horizon… but when MSD is about to mention the unanswered challenge he heard on XPW Online #15 Steele hushes him and has Lord Humongous cut MSD off with a stare… MSD is dismissed…



Office phone rings… it’s XPW President Ed “strangler” Lewis on speaker phone… he has officially ADDED “Sick” Nick Mondo & Messiah to the “Money-in-the-Bank” ladder match @ “NoCII”!!! The final entrant to be named later tonight in the Callihan vs. Thumbtack Jack match…



Just then - XPW security burst into the office! Cue security cam footage… in the arena parking lot, we see security footage of DANNY HAVOC and RUCKUS absolutely hand-demolishing Damien Steele’s expensive SUV!! The hoodlums have smashed it with bats, keyed it beyond recognition and defaced it with graffiti… Steele is OUTRAGED! Then Danny Havoc turns to the security cameras and pulls of his mask - he cuts a brief intense promo on Steele - DEMANDING his attention and refusing to be ignored any longer! DANNY HAVOC wants a KotDM title shot at “NoCII” and he’s gonna get it no matter what!!! Steele and crew in mad anger knock stuff off his desk and rush out of the room towards the parking garage!!!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

AD SANTEL (w/ Uso's ) vs Unnamed Jobber



versus


[color=gold]Jobber squash with the hooker Ad Santel drawing insane heat alongside his Abercrombie & Fitch wearing disciples Jimmy & Jey Uso... he stretches and breaks the prelim wrestler in a display he hopes to use on B-Boy in their "Loser Leaves XPW" match at "Night of Champions II"... announcers cover the upcoming PPV... there will be a set of prelim fights LIVE on XPW Online for the first hour... next hour will include a LIVE & FREE prelim special on XPW TV... followed by the PPV immediately after (this is a tip of the hat to a traditional UFC fight night, with prelims on Facebook, FX and then PPV)... Ad Santel taps the kid with a cattle mutiliation and has some harsh words for B-Boy...

Winner (by submission): AD SANTEL

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Championship Press Conference"

XPW Champion Lou Thesz and new #1 Contender Ezekiel Jackson gathered with management in front of about 100 gathered reporters and TV cameras for the pre-fight press conference, weigh-in and stare down... Ezekiel Jackson obviously shined like the sun during the weigh-in, posedown segment but had little to say during the questioning. Some of the most quote-worthy moments came from the champ himself.

On the propensity of a purported "shoot" taking place during the match (see Ezekiel Jackson's alleged victory over Buddy Rogers @ "Fallout Festival"):


LOU THESZ: As far as wrestling is concerned - it is a unique "professional" sport which evolved from carnivals - not amateur games. It was easier to take the road of showbiz and violence than create a rule book which incorporated amateur wrestling skills into a professional sport. There are parallels in many athletes who have great ability, but they have not the temperment ot apply that skill in a constructive venue. This applies not only to wrestling, but to all walks of life. If you have a great product, you must have the ability to market it. As I get older it becomes clearer to me the importance of Tragos (primarily) - who helped me create my product - and Lewis and Steele (primarily) who taught me the art of marketing my product. Credit goes to hundreds of people who gave me a boost along the way. I tried to do the same for others.

On his threats to secede from XPW Remixed and defend the title on his own...


LOU THESZ: I don't think it is a matter of defying the promoter. If the personality is not there to project, it cannot be done. If the heart is not in the performance, the wrestler has to find another way to succeed in life. Unlike myself, some guys don't thrill to the knowledge the audience is involved. They just love the wrestling and the hope of a good payday. In short they miss the entire picture. In many cases the promoter is the problem, as he doesn't know how to market a great piece of talent. I was fortunate in having hte best mentors in all aspects of professional wrestling - and it was my life.

In the end, the final staredown got so intense Ezekiel Jackson wound up smashing a podium off the stage and storming backstage, while President Ed Lewis tried to calm startled reporters and camera men...



** XPW Championship Match **

Lou Thesz vs Ezekiel Jackson


Only at

NIGHT of CHAMPIONS II

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying Match **

SAMI CALLIHAN versus THUMBTACK JACK

versus

Sick match, with Thumbtack Jack deferring to Callihan and the devilish Sami taking full advantage of his devotion… it’s like Sami Callihan is the Doomsday Killer on the last season of Dexter, and Thumbtack Jack his faithful disciple… Callihan mostly tortures Thumbtack Jack, manipulating the audiences emotions into wanting to see Thumbtack Jack finally snap and refuse to take the abuse any longer… but he doesn’t… Sami Callihan ruthlessly makes him tap out to the Stretch Muffler, not even stopping to break the hold after the bell rings… Post match Callihan spits on Thumbtack Jack and degrades him more, before ordering him backstage and continuing his dark, evil in-ring victory celebration alone…

Winner: SAMI CALLIHAN

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** MAIN EVENT **

JINDER MAHAL (2014) w/ Raisha Saeed versus GREAT GAMA

w/ versus

Video highlights of the breakdown of the Empire, and Gama walking out on Mahal and refusing to aid in crippling Great Khali (see XPW TV #39)... this is a match to determine the greatest Punjabi wrestler of ALL-TIME... Gama from the past... or Mahal from the future... announcers say Mahal's racial discrimination suit against XPW has been settled - and while he doesn't have a match at the PPV, he has been given the main event slot (and accompanying paycheck) tonight as solace.



Mahal hits some good moves on Gama right away (vicious strikes and takedowns), who was momentarily stunned by Mahal’s quick attack. Mahal even got a couple of two-counts - but Gama roared back to life and devastated Mahal with a variety of exploding suplexes, overhead tosses and powerslams... It was all Great Gama from here, as he even powered right through a Mahal armbreaker attempt to lock in a gutwrench-into-a bearhug that almost tapped Mahal out... but interference finally came in the form of Raisha Saeed, who (in an act of GREAT disrespect) actually BROKE Gama's championship kurz (that big club he always carries - it's an Indian wrestling trophy) over HIS BACK! The referee of course missed all that, and Jinder Mahal wound up driving the point of his Indian flag pole into Gama's lower spine - nearly paralyzing him... Gama was then locked in an EXCRUCIATING AMOUNT OF TIME in Jinder Mahal's camel clutch before the referee finally called for the bell, lest risk permenant damage... Great Gama's legendary undefeated streak was ENDED tonight by the greatest Punjabi wrestler of all time... Jinder Mahal 2014!!

Winner (by ref stoppage): JINDER MAHAL



** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...



** XPW Television Title **
The MIZ (2011) © versus Gorgeous George

** Woman's Championship **
Wendy Richter (1985) © versus Natalya Neidhart (2010)

** Unofficial XPW Championship **
Shane Douglas © & Lizzy Borden versus French Angel & Sammi Lane
(Intergender Tag Team Match)

** King of the Death Match Championship **
"Real Deal" Damien Steele © versus Danny Havoc

Bruno Sammartino vs Samoa Joe II

** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos ©vs (Real) Kings of Wrestling vs ?? vs ??
(Fatal 4-Way Match)

Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match
Sheamus vs Jon Moxley vs Bam Bam Bigelow vs
Sami Callihan vs "Sick" Nick Mondo vs The MESSIAH

Ad Santel versus B-Boy
("Loser Leaves XPW Remixed" Match)

** XPW Boston Championship **
Mil Mascaras (1975) © vs John Cena (2005) vs Hakushi (1995)
(Triple Threat Match)

** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz © versus Ezekiel Jackson (2012)


____________________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

LOU THESZ: WrestlingClassics Messageboards
CHYNA: Baltimore Sun Interview (6/9/11)




View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 5-6-2012 at 11:07 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Night of Champions II PPV

The Night of Champions II PPV can be found here:

http://www.onlineonslaught.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=26345

View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 5-6-2012 at 11:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #41



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

XPW Remixed‘s return to Los Angeles with ”Night of Champions II” was a rousing success! Reigning champions retained and new leaders were forged in the fire of success! Now - with the road of championship gold behind us we embark upon the latest saga in XPW Remixed… where in Ventura California… we return to the…

SCENE of the CRIME!



TONIGHT - 4 men face off in a “Race To The Gold” tournament to crown the new #1 contender to the XPW Championship at “Scene of the Crime”! Plus - Mildred Burke vs. Chyna in their long awaited rematch, with the stipulation that if Mildred Burke wins she’ll get a title shot! And in the main event - new Boston champion John Cena tangles with Mil Mascaras ONE MORE TIME to settle their differences and determine the real XPW Boston Champion ONCE AND FOR ALL! Let’s get right to the action!!

** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

”A GORGEOUS TELEVISION CHAMPION”



Show opens with the magnificent Television entrance of “FOCUS”… written & directed by David Otunga (2014)… featuring the beautiful GG… and starring the XPW Television champion of the UNIVERSE… GORGEOUS GEORGE WAGNER (1950)!! Vain, championship-crowning ceremony MC’d by Otunga and valeted by GG… Gorgeous George preens for the crowd, makes the crowd recite his “pledge” over the house mic, before tossing out Golden Bobbi-pins to the adoring (*snicker *) masses… he’s elevating himself beyond Bob Hope, Ryan Seacrest and even the Jersey Shore as THE greatest thing on Television… the “toast of the coast”, et… finally we’re interrupted by the strains of “AWWWEEESOOOOOOME” blaring through the house speakers… enter former TV Champion THE MIZ!



[color=lightblue]THE MIZ: It’s funny. (polite golf clap) [color=lightblue]Thank you very much for saying that we’re very good interviews. It’s funny because we’re live. We’re in your face. We only get one take to do it right. If we mess up or do anything wrong, it’s literally like well, I guess that’s the way it’s going to happen. So you HAVE to be good. You HAVE to be on at all times. Back when I was on The Real World, I was doing motivational speeches to colleges, even though I didn’t graduate college. They would still bring me in because Real World is so much like college. You’re taken from wherever you live and you go live somewhere else with new roommates and new environments. It’s so much like college is so colleges used to pay me to come to their schools and motivate their students to do something with their life. That helped a lot… but coming into XPW Remixed and literally going out there and cutting promos left and right and literally knowing that you had to be on, and you don’t want to look stupid, even though half the time you do look stupid. Come on George, I’ve rapped before! I’m not a rapper but I rapped on national television. It’s insane… but not as crazy as you stealing my belt and then calling yourself a “champion”!!

This outrages the FOCUS committee, but before a frazzled Gorgeous George can even dignify Miz with a response… we are interrupted by another entrance theme song… enter SHANE DOUGLAS & LIZZY BORDEN (!?!?)



A cocky Douglas & Borden are on the mic to congratulate themselves on their own victory last night – and rub in Miz’s loss further (announcers remind you of Miz’s quick, humiliating 18-second defeat of Douglas on XPW TV)… all that talk of “real” championship belts… who’s the REAL champion now???



[color=gold]SHANE DOUGLAS: I began to realize that what they were doing, in business vernacular, was using the old talent to give the rub to the new talent. I think Miz missed the lesson. Undertaker has been there for approaching 20 years; Shawn Michaels has been there for a very long time. I think their company has proven that a piece of talent if used properly and written the right way and pushed the right way can have a very long shelf life, and it doesn’t necessitate that because The Undertaker is 40 years old now, we have to move him to the back burner and push this kid on top of him. I think that their feeling was, we’ll have this kid come in and beat Sandman, and that will make him a bigger star than Sandman. It certainly could have been done over the long haul, but I don’t think they had to just give the fans a brief glimpse of The Sandman or Tommy Dreamer and then just shove them aside. There’s a reason that the fans even today chant ”XPW!”. It wasn’t a gimmick and it certainly wasn’t a flash in the pan considering that we lasted nearly a decade. But you, Miz? Definition of “flash in the pan!”



As the tension rises we are saved from a burst of physicality by the entrance of XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS… he has a few announcements for this evening and the future…

** XPW Remixed presents “SCENE of the CRIME”… coming from an undisclosed location in Ventura CA in late May…

** Much like the “Cold Day In Hell” fantasy reunion tour sponsored by XPW last year… there will be a HUGE 10-man WAR GAMES match on the card! And SHANE DOUGLAS & THE MIZ have been named opposing team captains! They will be responsible for picking their 5-person teams over the next month… (Miz & Shane share a tense stare down)…

** But first – MIZ gets his TV Title rematch against Gorgeous George Wagner TONIGHT! Now Miz’s facial expression turns to one of smug content, while Gorgeous George & Otunga nearly go ballistic with rage in the ring! Meanwhile Shane Douglas & Lizzy Borden caress their counterfeit XPW Championship belt as everybody eyes each other warily…



[color=lightblue]MIZ: It does impact because Gorgeous George is in that match and any time George and myself get in a match together, it’s going to be chaos. You never know what’s going to happen because David Otunga isn’t too happy with me right now… and neither is Shane Douglas because I basically beat him for his fake championship already! People are still calling you a paper champion, that don’t deserve the championship… but the fact is I’m going to prove that at Sunday’s Pay Per View when I enter as THREE TIME Television champion and beat him in the War Games match!!


** War Games @ “Scene of the Crime”! (with opposing teams lead by Miz & Shane Douglas)! **

** XPW Television defense TONIGHT!! **

This is XPW Remixed, muthaphuckkers!!


** CUT **


__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **

Inside the (Real) Kings of Wrestling locker room, the former tag team champions are having it out verbally… Gunner is yelling at Jessica Darlin for being a “mindless tramp and distraction”… Austin Idol is chauvinistically “defending” their valets honor… while both Gunner & Austin Idol argue amongst themselves over Austin Idol getting a shot at the championship tonight in the “Race to the Gold” tourney… but Austin Idol is quick (and arrogant) to remind his partner Gunner that HE wasn’t the one who got pinned at “Night of Champions II”! Gunner was! This just steams Gunner even further, as Idol wraps Jessica Darlin around his arm and saunters out of the scene to get ready for his match… fade out on Phil “Gunner” Shatter’s angry face, contorted with intensity…


** CUT TO RING **

** #1 Contender Semi-Finals Match **

SHEAMUS (2012) versus AUSTIN IDOL w/ Jessica Darlin

versus w/


Stiff, strongman-style match-up… both men have their shit-kickers on tonight for this slobber knocker… Austin Idol (w/ Jessica Darlin) brings the pizzazz, sass & color… Sheamus the raw physical intensity… in the end Jessica Darlin is a distraction to nobody but some lucky ringside fans… Sheamus reverses a piledriver attempt – and winds up running Austin Idol over with a devastating Brogue Kick for the finish… post match, backstage correspondent MSD catches Sheamus in the aisle for a quick postmatch promo – he puts over his disappointment in losing the MitB match @ “NoCII”… and says he won’t take this second chance for granted… and Jon Moxley better stay out of his way too! Sheamus = next XPW Champion!!

Winner: SHEAMUS

__________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contender Semi-Finals Match **

”SICK” NICK MONDO (2002) versus THUMBTACK JACK (2010)

versus w/

Sami Callihan was scheduled to compete in this match tonight - but pulled out due to his miraculous Money-in-the-Bank victory at “Night of Champions II’… instead, he lobbied for his henchmen Thumbtack Jack to be included over more luminary and deserving individuals (Messiah, for one, is very upset over the slight)… “Sick” Nick Mondo continues to get huge pops from the crowd as he seeks redemption through his “Best of the Best” victory… he and Jack engage in a tight, Indy match with Sami Callihan stalking ringside and causing a ruckus (treating his MitB briefcase like absolute shit - smashing it everywhere, stomping on it and spitting at it)… announcers discuss the tense relationship between Mondo & Messiah… are they allies? Or enemies? And how will Messiah react to the slight of not being included in the “Race for Gold” challenge tonight? After getting his ass whooped, Thumbtack Jack tries to bring in the chairs but Mondo disarms him and takes him out with a good-old fashioned arm breaker… in the end, Sami Callihan misses the swing of his briefcase - clonking Jack in the head by mistake - and allowing Mondo to hit a “Lifecutter” for the finish! “Sick” Nick Mondo is once again one step away from a championship match! Meanwhile, Sami Callihan abuses and berated Thumbtack Jack on the way back to the locker room - blaming him entirely for the loss…

Winner: “SICK” NICK MONDO


*****************


** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



MSD is with a very angry Jinder Mahal for an interview... Jinder Mahal of course, is the disadvantaged foreigner being taken advantage of by racist politics... etc... as the result of his settled racial discrimination lawsuit, however, Jinder Mahal has had the "Race to the Gold" competition tonight changed to offer more "favorable conditions"... Mahal has received a first round BYE and will compete in the tournament finals TONIGHT! That's right... it will be Sheamus vs "Sick" Nick Mondo... versus JINDER MAHAL in a Triple Threat match to determine the #1 contender!

** CUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

"Diamonds... R 4 GIRLS!"



[color=lightblue]We start with what appears to be the magnificent entrance of Diamond Dynasty (complete with pyro, laser-light show and “Diamonds from Sierra Leone” instrumental… but it’s really XPW Remixed’s newest tag team sensation the NEW AGE OUTLAWS! And theyre running a classic DX-style parody… some cheap, saggy-boobed hooker leads the pack portraying “Missy Hyatt”… some big stiff with a big silly hand-drawn mock tattoo on his back acting like Matt Morgan… and Road Dogg Jesse James dressed in a suit (with a pompadour wig) like “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers - and Billy Gunn dressed like Varsity football reject Alex Riley! Crowd loves it - the two do their little shtick - mocking the Dynasty, making them sound like entitled poseurs and chumps - before ripping off the garb and representing NAO style… they want the Dynasty in a match! And if you’re not down with that, they got two words for ya!!!

“SUCK IT!!”


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

CHYNA (w/ Lizzy Borden)
versus
MILDRED BURKE


w/
versus


Video recap of Chyna's debut into their feud, and the horrible depravity Chyna revels in... they hope to drag Burke down to their level... Chyna outmuscles and pounds Burke about, and aside from a few hope spots (usually surprise submission attempts), Chyna has the match in full control... she even finishes with a devastating piledriver that leaves Burke unmoving... but before Chyna can go for the pin - Borden demands she hit ANOTHER piledriver... so Chyna obliges, but at the last minute Burke reverses, and hits a triangle choke! It's air tight! Chyna's about to tap so Borden just rushes the ring to break the hold... instant DQ! Now Burke & Chyna just beat the hell out of Burke... until Shane Douglas arrives (?!?)

Winner (by DQ): MILDRED BURKE

He looks conflicted as he enters the ring to break up the brawl - he actually STOPS Chyna from hitting another piledriver on Burke... is Shane having a change of heart?? Crowd seems receptive to it... but it's just a swerve! Shane Douglas stops them from stomping on Burke so HE can stomp her out! Now the crowd heat is NUCLEAR as an evil, smirking Shane Douglas pulverizes Burke and finishes with a belly-to-belly suplex that leaves her unmoving in the ring... then Shane Douglas straddles her body so he's right in her face... holds up his unofficial XPW championship belt and taunts her... you wanted a title shot? Bitch YOU GOT ONE! Next week - SHANE DOUGLAS versus MILDRED BURKE for the (unofficial) XPW Championship! This is sick!! Is this even legal?!? Abrupt cut as Shane, Lizzy & Chyna hold their arms aloft over Burke's body...



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Television Title **



THE MIZ versus GORGEOUS GEORGE ©
II


versus w/ &

Back from break and Miz is already in the ring - during commercial he came down to clear the ring and aid paramedics in tending to Burke... he has some harsh words for Shane Douglas - before he's cut off on the mic by David Otunga - who introduces FOCUS in a lavish entrance ceremony... this is a continuation of their match at "NoC" with Otunga sending out live tweets during it and Miz hijacking a video camera to close-up on GG's ass (which drives the fans wild but pisses Gorgeous George off)... in the end Miz has things well in hand, until distraction allows David Otunga to BASH Miz with the television camera... Gorgeous George hits another insulting "Skull Crushing Finale" on MIZ to seal the deal... Postmatch, Focus celebrate while an angry Miz sells the camera shot... and Douglas and crew show up on the ring entrance ramp to smirk, make fun of Miz and hold his championship aloft as if to say "I'm better than you"...

Winner (and STILL Television Champion): GORGEOUS GEORGE (1950)

__________________________________________________________________________

** #1 Contender Match **

”SICK” NICK MONDO vs JINDER MAHAL vs SHEAMUS

vs vs

Main event TV entrances for all 3 men… XPW Champion LOU THESZ introduced last to assume guest commentary duties alongside Solie & Striker… Mondo & Sheamus team up to take out Jinder, before attacking each other… Sheamus tosses the much skinnier Mondo about in a series of hellacious bumps that only “Sick” Nick Mondo could pull off.. But he never dies or gives up… Mahal takes over with some cheating as Thesz goes off on him on commentary… Sheamus eats a superplex from Mahal at the same time Mondo is sailing off the top rope with a leg drop to Sheamus’ throat… he rolls from the ring and Mondo & Mahal go at it… as Sheamus is about to roll into the ring however… suddenly a “FAN” from the barricade SPITS BEER in Sheamus face! Oooo the disrespect! Sheamus is pissed! Wait a minute, that’s no fan… that’s JON MOXLEY! And he smirks at Sheamus and gives him the middle finger! SNAP! Sheamus takes off over the barricade into the fans to tackle Moxley and begin a wild brawl!!! With the crowds attention turned, the referee distracted - even the announcers focusing on the commotion - nobody notices the man in black slipping to ringside until it’s too late… out of nowhere - the MESSIAH turns up and KILLS MONDO WITH AN UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD!!! WTF?? Even the announcers are incredulous over the act! But it allows Jinder Mahal to lock in a Camel Clutch on Mondo in the center of the ring! Mondo can’t escape and is barely conscious… his arm drops 3 times! Jinder Mahal has DONE IT! He’s the new #1 contender! Thesz rises to his feet on commentary to meet Jinder Mahal’s evil glare.. The two men have a staredown as cameras linger on Messiah’s satisfied face… meanwhile Sheamus & Moxley have brawled all the way backstage…

Winner (and #1 Contender): JINDER MAHAL



XPW Champion Lou Thesz is ready to defend his crown against Jinder Mahal (2014).

***************

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Smug, defiant words from Joe after his victory over Bruno Sammartino at "NoCII"... but Joe isn't done yet... he still has something to prove and that's why - with the score tied 1 to 1 between them - Joe wants a rubber match NEXT XPW TV EPISODE! Samoe Joe vs Sammartino III! Epic level! But will Bruno accept??


**********



MSD is with Bruno right away to get his reaction - he is justifiably upset over the loss and accepts the challenge - but ups the ante considerably... 3 matches?... that's childs play... in Bruno's day men engaged in series of matches... that's why Bruno is accepting Joe's challenge... but upping it to a "BEST of SEVEN" series! Oh my, the Best of 7 is back! Used only in deadly cases in which opponents blood lust is so great that one match can't settle their differences! Bruno vs Joe "BEST OUT OF 7" series! With Match #3 on the NEXT EPISODE OF XPW TV! Oh my this is a landmark announcement!!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Boston Championship **



JOHN CENA © versus MIL MASCARAS

vs

[color=lightblue]Bell tolls, and we get the slow walk across the ring from both men into the dramatic staredown… Mascaras puts his hands on his hips and puffs his chest out in a trademark pose… that is answered by Cena’s “you can’t see me” hand gesture right in his face! Pissed! Both men aggressively lock up to start… They run the ropes and Cena takes Mil down with a shoulder… but on the rebound a second time, Mascaras counters a running Cena with a rolling Boston Crab! Cena breaks the hold and rolls to the floor to regroup… Mascaras beats Cena around the ring with punches and chops… They come back in but Cena goes on the offense and pounds Mascaras out… Cena buries Mascaras in the buckles with shoulder thrusts, and then suplexes him for a 2 count… Mascaras gets up but Cena knocks him back down for another 2 count.. Cena with a waistlock from behind, but Mascaras fights free with elbows… but the last one misses – and Mascaras spins around into John’s spinning sitout slam… another 2 count! Cena sets up for the 5 knuckle shuffle, but gets dropkicked by Mascaras over the top rope before he can complete it! Cena lands hard on the back of his head… both men down as we hit commercial break…

Back from commercial and the two men are trading shots in the center of the ring… Mil ducks a clothesline and takes Cena down with a picture-perfect flying forearm and a head-scissor takedown… “Let’s Go Cena!” versus “Cena Sucks!” chants now… Mascaras comes off the second rope with a high cross-body block and goes for a pin attempt… Mascaras starts chopping away, but Cena hits a belly to belly suplex to end that rally… Cena scoops Mascaras up in bodyslam position, but Mil counters with a tornado DDT… Mascaras climbs back up to the top but Cena runs up and stops him… Cena superplexes Mascaras off the top and… slowly… drags himself over for the cover… but only 2! So Cena twists Mascaras into an STFU! But Mascaras rolls through immediately and gets to the ropes… Cena rolls Mascaras up for a 2 count… Mascaras then gets a roll-up for two… Cena to his feet up and charges but Mascaras applies an armbreaker submission! Cena rolls out of the hold and hoists Mascaras into FU position… but he slips out into a waistlock behind Cena… John powers out of the grip and hurls Mascaras towards the turnbuckles with an Irish Whip… but Mil jumps UP on the top turnbuckle and twists his body in mid-air to strike at Cena with a cross body block! But in an AMAZING display of superhuman strength – Cena CATCHES the heavyweight Mascaras in mid-air and hoists him up on his shoulders into FU position! And he finally HITS his finisher! John plants Mascaras in the center of the ring with a heavy-duty Attitude Adjustment and gets the pin! 1!.. 2!.. 3! Cena retains!

Winner (and STILL XPW Boston Champion): JOHN CENA



Postmatch - we have a disturbance on the ramp – as none other than HAKUSHI KURO is making his way to ringside!! Cena & Mascaras don’t see him coming – they’re still selling the magnitude of their match… now Hakushi’s up on the ring apron! Cena spins around just in time to see Hakushi… who attempts to BLAST Cena in the face with Green Mist! But Cena DUCKS the spray and it winds up catching Mil Mascaras right in the face!!! But… Mil just no-sells it and shakes his head! He’s wearing a mask, therefore unaffected! Cena smirks cruelly as his eyes dial in on Hakushi… it looks like Cena and Mil are finally on the same page after all… Cena grabs Hakushi and slingshots him over the rope into the ring where both Cena and Mascaras take him out with a combination of crowd-pleasing double-teams and finishing moves – uniting completely in their destruction of the traitor Hakushi Kuro! With the fans going wild, and Hakushi Kuro destroyed… Cena and Mascaras have one more tense staredown –culminating in the handshake of mutual respect! They embrace to cheers! Even “The Solid Man” William Muldoon has to come down to the ring and congratulate both men! And in the final sign of deep respect, Mil Mascaras presents Cena with his OWN gift mask! Juan Cena lives!!



** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

[size=6]XPW Remixed presents...

"SCENE of the CRIME"




** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz © vs Jinder Mahal

** WAR GAMES MATCH **
Captains Shane Douglas vs The MIZ



__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

SHANE DOUGLAS: Baltimore Sun Interview
MIZ: CraveOnline Interview (December 19, 2010)



View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 5-13-2012 at 11:13 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW Online #17



** BREAKING NEWS **

John Cena assaulted backstage by Sami Callihan:
NEW XPW Boston Champion crowned!!




In a shocking display that occurred after XPW TV cameras stopped rolling, none other than the “Anti-Christ of Fantasy Wrestling” SAMI CALLIHAN (and his demented, Igor-like henchmen Thumbtack Jack) brutally attacked JOHN CENA after his successful XPW Boston Championship defense! We see shaky, grainy footage of Cena standing at the top of the entrance ramp, about to exit through the curtains – holding his title belt aloft for the fans one more time when from the rear, and through the inky shadows of backstage darkness, Callihan & Jack STRIKE! Various weapons and surrounding backstage accessories (like giant speakers and glass stage lights) all come crashing into Cena… In a graphic, vile display – Jack holds a barely conscious Cena down while Sami gigs him with his switchblade knife! They finish by BASHING Cena in the head with Sami’s Money-in-the Bank briefcase (leaving a large, bloody dent)… having Sami cover Cena in pinning position… Thumbtack Jack vicious corralling a referee to reluctantly make the count… and WINNING THE XPW BOSTON CHAMPIONSHIP! Oh my! Sami Callihan takes the Boston Championship! The first thing he does is SPIT ON IT! And degrade it like a bitch! Sami continues to treat the title belt like Ike did Tina while paramedics and officials rush to Cena’s aid… SAMI IS THE NEW BOSTON CHAMPION (!?!?)



** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________



Cut to the in-studio hosts for the show:



SAMMI LANE & FRENCH ANGEL

Welcome to the show… immediately touch on the SHOCKING development earlier, with Callihan being crowned new champion… there is a LOT of controversy over this move as every side seems to be legally contesting it… we should have a final ruling from the XPW Remixed President later tonight… also there are rumors John Cena may RETIRE from XPW Remixed as a result of the violent switchblade attack! More on that to come later as well… plus a biography on new #1 Contender Jinder Mahal – Wild Red Berry introduces his newest tag team – and Human Tornado attempts to avenge himself against Sabu in tonight’s main event!

** CUT TO VIDEO **

____________________________________________________________________________________

ALEXXIS NEVAEH versus NATALYA NEIDHART

versus

Alexxis Nevaeh – representing Olympia fighting team colors – has asked for this challenge tonight… after being blindsided and steamrolled by Natalya on XPW TV Episode #40 and having her #1 contendership shot taken, Alexxis is thirsting for revenge… but on the flip side of the coin – after LOSING her championship match in a last-second lapse in judgment (see “Night of Champions II”) – Natalya Neidhart is driven by anger and fueled by hate… and that rage manifests itself tonight in a brutal shellacking of Alexxis Nevaeh… the young, perky underdog gets her shots off – but Natalya is allowed to no-sell most of it, and just beast through her… spinning lariat + sharpshooter = instant tap out… Natalya crushes Alexxis, and with a grimace and a rant demands ONE MORE MATCH from Wendi Richter!

Winner (by submission): NATALYA NEIDHART

** CUT **

********************

"XPW Remixed Woman's Champion WENDI RICHTER responds..."



Wendi Richter speaks on her credentials, "Rock-n-Wrestling" image and close personal friendship with Cyndi Lauper... which made the vicious, career-ending beating by Natalya Neidhart so unjust... Richter BEAT Neidhart already (see "Night of Champions II")... and she'll do it again! If Natalya wants one more match - SO BE IT! Richter vs Neidhart II on the next XPW TV Episode!!

** CUT **

*******************

"LADIES FIRST"


** BACKSTAGE PROMO **



Mildred Burke speaks – Depression era tough talk, true grit and a lot of dynamite in a tiny package – she finally answers her contractual ultimatum (to take a year off managing, or compete against only men) – Mildred Burke will COMPETE! Starting on the next Episode of XPW TV when she takes on Shane Douglas for his unsanctioned XPW Championship! And after she wins that, she’s moving onto “Scene of the Crime” – where, Mildred Burke announces, she will be joining forces with the MIZ’s team at War Games!! This announcement actually draws forth Lizzy Borden & Chyna from the dark recesses of the arena to confront Burke on set (with MSD cowering in the background)… Chyna & Borden are PISSED because THEY wanted the distinction of being the first woman to compete in a War Games match, but Burke stole their thunder… they start to ominously surround her, but Burke stands her ground… and suddenly MIZ saunters into the scene behind her! Miz has Mildred Burke’s back! With sarcastic wit and vicious humor, Miz verbally slays Lizzy & Chyna before sending them on their way – and finishing his AWWWEESSSOOOMEEEE promo alongside one of his partners at War Games, Mildred Burke!




** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

ROCKY ROMERO (w/ Ricky Reyes) 2007
versus
DRAKE YOUNGER (w/ Dan Severn) 2010


w/
versus
w/

Stiff, aggressive and technical… Romero’s kickboxing and striking is weathered and ultimately stifled by Younger’s American wrestling… coach Dan Severn shouts advice and counters from ringside, as Younger & Romero engage in a series of holds, reversals and counters… Ricky Reyes cheers his partner on as Matt Striker wonders if the Havana Pitbulls have run into a tag team wall here in XPW Remixed… after a back-and-forth exchange, Drake Younger reverses into a devastating Vertebreaker for the finish… post match Younger goes for the handshake of mutual respect (which Ricky Reyes accepts on behalf of the Pitbulls)… but Romero does NOT… he’s very disappointed with his loss and angrily storms away; leaving Reyes to look forlorn and dejected.

Winner: DRAKE YOUNGER

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

RUCKUS vs. SABIAN vs. MICHAEL TARVER
(“Blood in the Sand” Gladiator Duel)

vs. vs.

[color=gold]The continuing saga of Commissioner Damien Steele’s obscene power trip and his torment of the BLKOut posse… inspired by the TV series Spartacus on Starz, Damien Steele has ordered a triple threat steel cage with weapons match, in honor of the deadly gladiator duels of yore… this is Michael Tarver’s return from injury (see XPW Online #15) and the announcers say he was forced into returning sooner than medically expected… Sabian recently lost to Steele in a KotDM title defense on XPW TV Episode #40… since Nick Gage was driven from XPW Remixed, KotDM title defenses under Steele’s watch have turned into late ‘90s WWF “Hardcore matches”… that is to say still pretty wicked, with gimmicks and weaponry… but none of the REALLY crazy stuff like electrified light tubes, fish hooks and cinder blocks…

all three opponents have been given explicit directions to NOT go easy on each other or risk total contract termination… to make sure BLKOut destroy each other, Damien Steele has surrounded the cage with lumberjacks like Lord Humongous, Atsushi Onita, Shad Gaspard (w/ Sunny), Tony Altomare and some random miscellaneous jobbers… Sabian, Ruckus & Tarver engage in a thrilling duel with opposing crowd chants erupting for each man… yet by Ruckus hesitating to kill his partners with a crowbar (and Michael Tarver’s apparent total WILLINGNESS to do so before he was disarmed) actually lures Damien Steele to the top of the cage walls – where he attempts to get the crowbar into Tarver’s hands… but of course it’s just a ploy designed to feed on Steele’s ego and draw him closer to the fire… as Michael Tarver scales the cage wall to reach the weapon, he (predictably to all but Steele) stops short – smirks – grabs Steele’s hand (now the horror finally sinks in for Steele) – and drags him INTO the cage!



Now Steele is trapped inside the cage with all the lumberjacks banging, pulling on and trying to scale the cage walls to no avail (Sabian is inside whacking everybody’s hands and fingers with a Kendo stick)… Damien Steele gets hurled into the cage walls and bloodied a bunch of times, before FINALLY Lord Humongous rips the steel cage door bolts right off the hinges… Steele is pulled to safety, but not before BLKOut cause a near-riot and destroy everybody (and everything) in their path… Steele makes the following decree: on the next XPW TV Episode it will be Lord Humongous versus BLKOut in a gauntlet match… every man Lord Humongous defeats must RENOUNCE Blkout!



But Ruckus answers Steele on the mic (and with the threat of a full-on riot brewing behind him) and gets the added provision that if anyone of the BLKOut members beat Lord Humongous – they immediately receive a title shot! Segment ends with ANOTHER huge bench-clearing brawl, that finds DANNY HAVOC blindsiding Steele from behind (before he could flee completely) and driving him through a table with a swanton dive off the entrance ramp! “XPW! XPW!” Lord Humongous versus BLKOut in a gauntlet match! Next XPW TV Episode!

Winner: BLKOUT (self-proclaimed)

** CUT **

******************

"War Games Recruitment Drive"



Lizzy Borden uses her feminine wiles to applaud Ad Santel on his victory at "NoCII", butter him up, and get him to agree with joining Shane Douglas' War Games team at "Scene of the Crime"... onward to glory...

*****************



Shane Douglas convinces Hakushi Kuro he too has been slighted, misunderstood and sabotauged... the only solution is to join Douglas in the War Games match at "Scene of the Crime" and take over XPW Remixed... mission accepted...

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________


**WARNING! GRAPHIC CONTENT! VIEWER DISCRETION IZ ADVISED! **



The following footage has been culled, fancam/amateur bootleg style over the past few weeks – but never released… it’s a play on the whole “Blair Witch Project”, Reality TV vibe… these skits were supposed to start airing on XPW Online #15 and XPW Online #16 but were considered too graphic to disclose… these sketches catch the obese, horrifying monstrosity known as POGO THE CLOWN on the hunt in dark, Camp Crystal lake settings… stalking underage groups of campers… straight slasher horror movie shit… it’s clear to see why (even a company as disturbed as XPW Remixed) refused to sanction the release of these vignettes… until now. Because of a late-breaking development that is too news-worthy to ignore…

In the last video assault, Pogo is dangerously close to catching and cornering a batch of the campers – when they burst through the wooden doors of a barnyard farm… and apparently the farm’s owner don’t take kindly to intruders of any kind… especially murderous pedophiles… a HUGE farmer (overalls, John Deere cap with ear flaps, shotgun in tow) bursts onto the scene with the kind of massive size to MATCH if not EXCEED Pogo the Clown himself! Two gigantic WALLS of humanity clashing throughout the barn in a wild free-for-all brawl! Everything is getting destroyed! Why, that’s no ordinary farmer! That’s…

HAYSTACKS CALHOUN!!

The massive farm boy overwhelms Pogo with the surprise attack, and is driven even further into a rage when he sees the children fleeing for cover… he bashes, bruises and busts Pogo through every wall, hale bay and stall in the area with great vengeance – until Pogo the Clown is tossed through the back wall of the farm where his huge body splashes into the deep, dark swamp waters… sinking from view… the children (in horrified tears) run to Haystacks Calhoun for shelter and comfort… he welcomes them into his huge arms, with the broken shovel handle (broken over Pogo’s head earlier) in one hand… Haystacks Calhoun has been awoken from his fantasy wrestling slumber by the NIGHTMARE that is Pogo the Clown!



** CUT **

**************

** BACKSTAGE SEGMENT **



MSD catches up with Jessica Darlin in the locker room and tries to get a few words from her… at first she’s flattered, until she realizes she has to do some thinking and answer questions… MSD wants to know about all the friction being teased by her (Real) Kings of Wrestling tag team lately… but Jessica Darlin says there is NO dissension within the camp… matter of fact, she warns the fans to get ready for a HUGE announcement on the next XPW TV Episode RE: the future of the (Real) Kings of Wrestling! Tune in next week to find out!


** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

PG-13 (w/ JTG) versus USO BROS (w/ Tamina)

w/
versus
w/

Another hilarious (or insulting) parody of Hip Hop as perpetrated by PG-13 alongside their hypeman JTG to start… Uso’s get the big siva tau entrance that crushes it with intensity and aggression… Uso’s are playing the cool heels but their vicious, unrelenting offense (especially against these two jabronis) gets them a few pops… announcers discuss the violent gang feud that ended at “NoC II” when Cali Cripplers head coach Ad Santel took B-Boy out of XPW Remixed… Uso’s riding the momentum of that win as well… 3 top rope superfly splashes one after another (after another as Tamina hit the final dive) onto JC Ice Baby for the pin… Uso’s celebrate… this time JTG is so fed up with PG-13’s futility, he finally deserts them for good.

Winners: USO BROS

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

"Hustle, Loyalty, Respect... and Vengeance..."



John Cena backstage snapping on tending paramedics... he shoves them all away to cut a tense, steely-eyed promo for the cameras swearing vengeance upon Sami Callihan... a fire has been lit in Cena's eyes you have yet to see in his Territory Wars run so far... the taint of XPW Remixed has begun to reach his soul...

** CUT **

********************

"Revelation 21:8"

"But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
** Revelation 21:8 **




When "Sick" Nick Mondo sought to redeem his soul and remove himself from the quagmire of Death Match wrestling (and possibly extend his career), the Messiah was his idol... little did he know the Messiah began to see these same concessions as signs of weakness... a sign of cowardice... and ultimately, a great blasphemy to a cause & lifestyle Messiah has dedicated his life too... XTREMISM... now the Messiah explains his convoluted, spiritual motivations for perpetuating the attack that caused "Sick" Nick Mondo a shot at the XPW championship... was it bitter jealousy? Insane dedication? Or something else entirely...?

"After the death of Ahab, Moab rebelled against Israel. Now Ahaziah fell through the lattice in his upper chamber in Samaria, and lay sick; so he sent messengers, telling them, “Go, inquire of Baal-zebub, the god of Ekron, whether I shall recover from this sickness.” But the angel of the Lord said to Elijah the Tishbite, “Arise, go up to meet the messengers of the king of Samaria, and say to them, ‘Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are going to inquire of Baal-zebub, the god of Ekron? Now therefore thus says the Lord, You shall not come down from the bed to which you have gone up, but you shall surely die.’” So Elijah went. The messengers returned to the king, and he said to them, “Why have you returned?”
** 2 Kings 1:1-18 **


The Messiah challenges "Sick" Nick Mondo to a match at "Scene of the Crime"! But not just any match... this will be a resurrection... the RETURN of the DARK SAVIOR...! Is Messiah referring to himself in 3rd person? Returning Nick Mondo to his hardcore roots? Or someone (or something) else entirely??? Will "Sick" Nick Mondo accept the challenge??

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE SEGMENT **



Wild Red Berry on his cellphone taking a call in the hallway… when he’s brazenly approached by former associate turned rival manager THE GRAND WIZARD… in a tense exchange, TGW actually has the brass balls to demand PAYMENT for the so-called “business arrangement” between them that went south (they each tried attacking the others rivals, but it didn’t prevent them from being foiled regardless)… Wild Red Berry is outraged over the exorbitant demand and lets TGW know in no uncertain terms to GET THE HELL OUT OF HIS FACE… The Grand Wizard snidely obliges, but it’s clear he considers this debt still unpaid…


** CUT TO RING **

CURLY MOE & WEEDMAN
Versus
The NEW Twin Towers (w/ Wild Red Berry)


versus w/

An entertaining, character-building, old-fashioned squash match… more subtle (in Solie’s case) and not-so-subtle (Matt Striker’s commentary & Wild Red Berry’s ringside ad libs) shots fired at the WWF and their recycling of outdated talent… Wild Red Berry is billing his guys as the NEW Twin Towers, and their titanic size mixed with strong-style offense instantly gets them over as butt-kickers… Curly Moe & Weedman do an admirable job of keeping the crowd engaged with their antics, while also selling the brutal seriousness of the NEW Twin Towers’ offense… Wild Red Berry has introduced this tandem as pseudo “police men”, or “enforcers” for his tag team champion Fabulous Kangaroos… in essence, if you want a shot at the FabKangs – you need to go through the NEW Twin Towers first… certainly no easy task, as Bam Bam Bigelow & Apache Bull Ramos dominate and decimate an overmatched Curly Moe & Weedman…

Winners: NEW TWIN TOWERS

Post match, Wild Red Berry is in the midst of another wordy, pompous promo putting over his new team of mercenary enforcers – when he is suddenly cut off on the mic by THE GRAND WIZARD! The angry, turban-wearing madman with the Napoleon complex declares WAR on Berry for not paying money owed – and sic’s his OWN depraved tandem of ORIGINAL SHEIK & KEN PATERA upon the ring! TGW’s men hit the ring and the brawl is on! Wild Red Berry flees from the fracas, as fists, feet, steel chairs and guard rails start being tossed and turned! TGW is intent on collecting his debt! A manager unholy war has broken out in XPW Remixed!!



** CUT **

"Xtreme Depression"



Brief skit in a local LA bar somewhere... New Jack finds Sandman slumming at the bar, and indicates he's been looking all over for Sandman (ever since Sandman was crushed by Pogo the Clown at "Fallout Festival")... but Sandman is short and snide with him, brushing him off in a drunken haze... apparently nothing matters to Sandman anymore and "Death match" wrestling is for poseurs anyway since nobody ever really dies... New Jack leaves Sandman to ferment in his own depression and alchohol-fused stupor..

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

”Good Enemies… Better Friends??”

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Cameras catch Sheamus destroying a locker room while looking and yelling for Jon Moxley to come out and face him… but in his room-trashing rage, he doesn’t get Moxley – he gets an angry, pissed of Lizzy Borden & Shane Douglas instead (more sexual harassment threats from Lizzy Borden towards Sheamus)… but when Lizzy gets all in Sheamus’ face and SLAPS him… he’s about to throttle Shane, when Douglas pulls Lizzy in front of him like a human shield… and CHYNA attacks Sheamus from behind! Shane, Lizzy & Chyna briefly start putting the boots to Sheamus on the floor… when none other than JON MOXLEY shows up on the scene! He scatters the girls and grabs Shane by the back of his head; tossing him right out the locker room door! Jon Moxley has just cleared the room! He has tense staredown with Sheamus and says “if you want me you know where to find me…” then walks off… Sheamus just watches after him, conflicted by the save Moxley just pulled off for him…




** CUT **

**************

** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Miz backstage on his cellphone when he's approached by Human Tornado... brief interaction between the two and Human Tornado expresses interest in joining Miz's War Games Team... Miz seems agreeable and they leave on good terms, with Miz saying he'll be keeping an eye on Human Tornado to see how he performs in the main event tonight...


** CUT **

**************

** “Is the Unholy Trinity nearing completion once more??”
(continued Logan Boggs sightings at XPW Remixed offices have given birth to rumors GDT Inc (XPW Remixed’s parent company) is looking to become a Trio again)



Reports, photos and videos of Territory Wars CEO Logan Boggs visiting XPW Remixed offices continue to come in… after a brief hiatus from the Wars, Logan Boggs (former owner of WCW & TNA) was suddenly spotted becoming quite comfortable in XPW Remixed corporate towers… rumors of everything from a talent exchange to federation sale began to ferment… neither Logan Boggs nor Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Toots Mondt have offered any kind of explanation for these visits… until now: Toots Mondt spoke briefly after a recent press conference (announcing the Thesz vs Mahal match at “Scene of the Crime”) and alluded to a change in management… since the removal of The Grand Wizard, it’s been said GDT Inc is not looking to HIRE a 3rd executive – they’re looking for a new partner to BUY IN and become equal owners… other rumored names under consideration are said to include Paul Heyman, Paul Boesch & Eric Bischoff… none of these men have ever responded to comments or questions on the matter. For now, it still remains speculation.

** CUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

JINDER MAHAL



Coming from a wealthy and powerful family in India, Jinder Mahal has enjoyed many of life’s luxuries, including the finest training available. Now he’s poised and ready to make an impact in fantasy wrestling.

Birthed into Indian royalty, Jinder Mahal is accustomed to having only the finest things in life, including the finest training available. This also extends to his well-tailored suits to the ornate, lavishly decorated sherwani he wears to the ring. But beneath the posh robes and suits lies a man who is actually a ruthless and physical competitor in the ring.

Mahal revealed himself to be a master manipulator in his first days in XPW Remixed, convincing The Great Khali to turn on his own brother, Ranjin Singh, and join the vocal villain to form a new power duo destined to dominate. He also seduced Raisha Saeed and awoke the GREAT GAMA Backed by the 7-foot former World Heavyweight Champion and undefeated Punjabi warrior, Mahal made good use of his fierce full nelson slam to rack up an impressive winning streak for a debuting Superstar (including his defeat of William Muldoon for the XPW Boston Championship).

Following a fallout with the towering Punjabi powerhouse and after defeating Great Gama (once and for all ending his hallowed undefeated streak), Mahal set out on his own, driven to distinguish himself from the other young Superstars on the XPW Remixed roster. He won a Triple Threat #1 Contenders match on XPW TV Episode #41 and will now challenge XPW Champion LOU THESZ to a match at “Scene of the Crime”! As long as he continues his winning ways, that won’t be too difficult for the Superstar … after all, nothing else has been.

** CUT TO RING **

** Main Event **

SABU versus HUMAN TORNADO

versus

Fun Fact : Sabu has said on multiple occasions that this was the match that finally snapped him out of the funk he had been in since late in his WCW tenure. Due to all the brow beating from various sources, Sabu 's self worth was in the dumps and he no longer viewed himself as a legend of the ring. Despite putting out solid work in his XPW Remixed tenure thus far, it took this match and subsequent celebration to make him realize his place in wrestling history.

Scott: A match made for the ages, at least on paper. Two of arguably the greatest underground superstars in the history of the business finally got together into the ring. You would think this would be saved for a bigger venue, like a Wrestlemania or a Baptized in Blood, but you really can't hold off any kind of matches because you need to fill the card and have to try no to put any crap on. So here we are, and for the first 2/3 of the match it was super. The psychology between them is perfect, and they went back and forth with some great chain wrestling. Sabu is clearly out of his funk from when he came back and can still deliver a good match. Rumors were they were going to make this match go thirty minutes, which may have been ok, but the Cena/Sami Callihan thing happened and they seemed to really want to hammer that home on this night so they cut this match essentially in half. The other reason for this match was to push the young stud Heath Slater, who has been getting back into the swing of things after his debut on XPW Online #15. He comes in, lays out Human Tornado with a guitar shot and Sabu gets the win. Slater has the charisma and the pedigree to be a superstar. For now, he's going along for the ride. The winner of the match is irrelevant but it was a great match as expected and starts the feud between Slater & Honk Tonk Man and Human Tornado. Grade: 3.5

Justin: Human Tornado gets to step in the ring against his idol in a one on one matchup. This was definitely a PPV dream match and it also signaled the full time return to action of Sabu. It was shortly after this match that Sabu decided he would hit the road on a regular basis as well as compete on TV on a consistent schedule as well. Human Tornado gets a good pop from the fans, but Sabu did as well. It was painfully clear how badly the fans wanted Sabu to be a face that they could rally behind. Sabu, however, was feeling rejuvenated and wanted to be a heel. After his fantastic performance he started to carry himself like the legend he was. They would keep it on the mat early until Sabu went to school and started working the high-risk offense. Tornado would survive a lengthy Camel Clutch but Sabu would maintain control and do a great job of it. The table bump was cool, but as I have spoken about before, it really wasn't needed. These two could work the crowd perfectly without contrived gimmick spots and it was just overkill. It did get a good pop, though, so I guess it did its job. Slater would come in and paste Human Tornado with a guitar to give Sabu the win in a fun match. I liked the finish here because neither Sabu nor Human Tornado needed a clean win, so this gives some much needed heat to Slater. It also sets up a potential feud for the “One Man Southern Rock Band”. This match harkened the full time commitment of Sabu, the return of Honky Tonk Man’s ego and confidence and provided a canvas for Human Tornado to begin his climb to the upper echelon of stars. Grade: 3

Winner: SABU

Postmatch, Human Tornado is double-teamed by Heath Slater & Honky Tonk Man… until MIZ runs in for the save with a steel chair! He swings it wildly about, clearing the ring to huge cheers! Slater & HTM slink off while pointing fingers and yelling at the ring… and Miz embraces Human Tornado – welcoming him onto his War Games team at “Scene of the Crime”, and helping Human Tornado to get down and boogie for the fans to close the show! “Scene of the Crime” coming soon!!



** CUT **

"Corporate Resolution"



XPW Remixed President Ed "Strangler" Lewis with a ruling on the XPW Boston title controversy... because of a litany of violations, Sami Callihan's victory does NOT stand... but because of the "loss" Cena has been STRIPPED of the championship as well...

Therefore the XPW Boston title has been held up - with a match between Sami Callihan & John Cena to determine the champion at "Scene of the Crime"! But first - there will be a match on the next Episode of XPW TV... Cena's pick versus Sami's pick... the winner of that match will determine the championship stipulation for the title match at "Scene of the Crime"!

** John Cena vs Sami Callihan for the XPW Boston title @ "Scene of the Crime"!! **

** but first - each man picks a fighter next week to determine the championship stipulation at the PPV! **


** FADE OUT **

____________________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...

"SCENE of the CRIME"




** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz © vs Jinder Mahal

** WAR GAMES MATCH **
Shane Douglas (captain), Chyna, Ad Santel, Hakushi Kuro & ??
versus
MIZ (captain), Mildred Burke, Human Tornado & ?? & ??

** Boston Championship **
John Cena versus Sami Callihan


__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

JINDER MAHAL: Biography from WWE.com
SCOTT & JUSTIN: Bad Blood 2003 review





View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
mastermind
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 5-20-2012 at 03:10 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW TV Episode #42



Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:


Gordon Solie & Matt Striker

SCENE of the CRIME!





** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

"The $25k Challenge"

w/
Versus


Diamond Dynasty open the broadcast and they are NOT happy (video recap of the NAO parody on XPW TV Episode #41)… the Dynasty are livid and want a piece of the New Age Outlaws - and to further sweeten the pot, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers is putting up a $25k wager on the result (unsheathes the stack of crisp $100 bills bundled together)… the smell of money & a challenge draws out the New Age Outlaws (1998) to a tremendous pop… dueling mic intro from Road Dogg that climaxes with a “puppies” related diss to Missy Hyatt and we’re OFF! Wild, unrestrained brawl between Morgan & Riley versus Gunn & Dogg… this is NOT an official match, these 4 men are just tearing into each other… referees, officials, security and off-duty police officers try futilely to separate them… finally - XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt appears on the scene to quell the chaos and get the two teams separated… he has a special announcement about the Tag Team titles…



Suddenly - this makes loudmouth, encyclopedic-genius Wild Red Berry appear at the top of the entrance ramp during a lull in the brawl… his XPW Tag Team champion Fabulous Kangaroos (and their enforcers Bam Bam Bigelow & Bull Ramos) filter in behind him… Berry feigns disgust to see such a barbaric display and indicates that NEITHER team is worthy of a Title rematch because neither has defeated his enforcer tandem of the NEW Twin Towers (Bam Bam Bigelow & Bull Ramos)!





But before Berry can gloat about his managerial brilliance… his quartet is jumped from behind! Through the curtains comes Ken Patera and the Original Sheik, led by The Grand Wizard! They’re taking it right to the NEW Twin Towers over a financial dispute held by TGW against Berry! (see XPW Online #17)… Now all hell has broken loose… the Dynasty & NAO continue to duke it out… Patera & Sheik are brawling with Bigelow & Ramos… while the FabKangs try to shelter and protect their manager Wild Red Berry from the chaos…



But wait! Mister Mondt isn't finished with his announcement yet! As it turns out - the FabKangs will be defending their XPW Tag Team titles at "Scene of the Crime" against the Dynasty AND New Age Outlaws! Triple threat match! Huge pop from the crowd! Another explosion from Berry! In the madness, Buddy Rogers chases after Berry - Billy Gunn MOONS Missy Hyatt! And Road Dogg steals the $25k stack of bills from the Diamond Dynasty and flees the building!

Fabulous Kangaroos defend against the Diamond Dynasty and the New Age Outlaws!

Only @ "Scene of the Crime!"




** CUT **


__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



The Miz catches up with a very intense, perturbed Sheamus in the locker room gearing up… Miz tries to convince Sheamus to join his team at War Games, but Sheamus DECLINES… he reminds Miz of his pompous run in the Diamond Dynasty and his fake matriculation into fandom… Sheamus is PISSED because apparently he just got word that his assignment tonight consists of teaming with “enemy”/rival/”ally”(?) Jon Moxley in a tag team match! So Sheamus has bigger things to worry about tonight! Sheamus brushes off the Miz and storms away, leaving Miz to stew... then Miz picks up his cellphone and makes a call... apparently he's calling in a favor, saying things are "worse than he thought"... Miz confirms that the mystery person on the other end of the line will be here later tonight...


** CUT **

*********************

** Savior 2 the Xxxtreme **



”SICK” NICK MONDO: (recounting his past with Messiah, and the diverging paths they took when Messiah thought Mondo was “forsaking” his Xtreme roots) Not Messiah… He was busy... The main difference between him and I is the amount of risks I take. I knew it wouldn't be, and that's why I joined XPW Remixed. It’s the first place where I actually felt at home. It wasn't like, "look at that freak, why does he want to bleed?" anymore. I love when we have crazy brawls. I had a lot of fun on both of those shows. But I’m trying to show my range as a performer now… I've always done violent stuff in my matches. It's just that lately I've turned it up more than a notch. I guess I'm testing myself to see how far I can go. So far, I haven't reached the limit. It sometimes worries me to think how far I may go someday… and Messiah you will find out how far I will go at “Scene of the Crime”! I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! Maybe wrestling in a ladder match… maybe something worse… When I did King of the Death matches for IWA Mid South, those were a couple of legit fights. I had a good time there, but both of those matches got pretty nasty. You kinda have to do it that way for kotdm, though. As for Messiah’s unprovoked attacks against me? If you haven't figured it out by now I'm kind of surprised. I'm one of the only guys in this business who mixes EVERY single one of those styles. My style is all styles mixed. My goal is to be able to work a good match with anyone. And if that means taking out Messiah for good at “Scene of the Crime”, then that’s just what I’m going to do…

** SEGUE **

**************
Messiah retorts, and explains (?) his decision to declare holy jihad upon "Sick" Nick Mondo - in a perverted, disturbed attempt to "save" him...



"Therefore prophesy thou against them all these words, and say unto them, The LORD shall roar from on high, and utter his voice from his holy habitation; he shall mightily roar upon his habitation; he shall give a shout, as they that tread the grapes, against all the inhabitants of the earth!!"
** Jeremiah 25:30

Messiah vs "Sick" Nick Mondo!!

The so-called "Savior of Xxxtreme" is prophecized (and promised) to appear!

Return of "Blood of the Martyr" match!

Only @ "Scene of the Crime"!!!



** CUT **


__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Guerrilla footage of Shane Douglas, Lizzy Borden & Chyna preparing to ambush and confront XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt… but using deft negotiations and FDR-era diplomacy Mondt turns the tables instead... Mister Mondt praises Douglas for the anarchy & chaos he’s sewn in XPW Remixed lately… (a far cry from Douglas original treatment at the hands of GDT Inc when he was stumbling as a member of Triple Threat)… now Toots Mondt is congratulating him for the formation of his War Games stable thus far, and promising Douglas his “Unofficial” XPW championship belt might get a little more recognition from the board of directors if Douglas is victorious at “Scene of the Crime”… and Mr Mondt can’t wait to see Shane Douglas show Mildred Burke this is a man’s world (Mildred Burke is Ed Lewis’ pet project anyway)… this is a General Patton/MLK/Paul Heyman-level pep talk and Douglas & crew immediately pick up what Toots Mondt is putting down… there’s a reason Shane Douglas was the “Franchise” of ECW… and NO reason he can’t become the “Franchise” of XPW Remixed as well…Toots Mondt exits stage left, and cameras linger on Douglas satisfied smirk and hand-rubs of anticipation… but Lizzy Borden (former director of the Woman's Division) doesn't trust Toots at all...


** CUT TO RING **

** Unofficial XPW Championship **

SHANE DOUGLAS © (w/ Lizzy Borden) vs. MILDRED BURKE

w/ versus

Brutal, barbaric, uncomfortable and unsettling… all hallmarks of this torrid affair… Matt Striker & MSD provide commentary for the match as Gordon Solie walked off during commercial break in protest… even though Mildred Burke accepted this match, she was bullied and coerced into this situation with seemingly no positive recourse… thankfully it’s more of a “sportz entertainment” segment than straight up beatdown, but that doesn’t make it any less disturbing… this is Shane Douglas at his arrogant, demeaning, woman-beating worst – shades of “Don’t Piss Me Off” Jeff Jarrett late 90s WWF… meanwhile his cheerleader Lizzy Borden bounces merrily at ringside, encouraging the sadistic display… Mildred Burke is the plucky underdog who never quits, but the massive size differential (Burke is really only about 5’3”) is just too much.. in a disgustingly sadistic display, Douglas slowly dominates her with a series of high impact moves (like the hanging suplex – he held her in the air for almost 30 seconds before dropping her)… before finishing with his Pittsburgh Plunge for the arrogant cover… Douglas has “defended” his title…

Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS



Postmatch Shane & Lizzy Borden can’t leave well enough alone, and (after Chyna runs in too) begin to set up Mildred Burke for a spike piledriver! But thankfully Miz runs in for the save! Using a steel chair as a deterrent, he quickly drives Douglas, Chyna & Borden from the ring and protectively stands over Burke’s fallen body… but Shane Douglas’ jawing from the entrance ramp only serves to distract Miz further… allowing “The Cali Crippler” AD SANTEL to attack Miz from the rear! Ad Santel is wearing fancy street clothes (1920’s era swagger with the suit coat, fedora and handkerchief in the breast pocket)… Ad Santel locks Miz in a vicious Cloverleaf submission hold, nearly snapping him in half! Human Tornado tries to make the superhuman run-in but the numbers game becomes too much, and he too is quickly devoured… Shane Douglas, Lizzy Borden, Chyna & Ad Santel pose and hold their arms aloft triumphantly over the broken mass of humanity at their feet! On to War Games @ “Scene of the Crime”!!!


** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

AD SANTEL & HAKUSHI KURO
Versus
SHEAMUS & JON MOXLEY


versus

Back from commercial break we get the TV entrance of SHEAMUS… he angrily confronts Shane Douglas for his treatment of Mildred Burke; alluding to some kind of backstage edict preventing outside interference (or else Sheamus would have beat Shane’s ass sooner)… before settling in on the “Cali Crippler” Ad Santel with his tuff-talking Irish brogue… and when Santel tries to take a cheap shot, Sheamus blocks him! He holds Santel by the scruff of his tie and prepares to strike! But before he can… the lights in the building go OUT! Darkness! When they return, mere seconds later – Hakushi Kuro is in the ring behind Sheamus! Steel-chair buzzsaw kick to the Celtic Warrior’s skull!



Sheamus is stunned – the bell rings – bad guys take control… after a few minutes of brutal in-and-out tag teaming from Santel & Hakushi, we FINALLY get the run-in of Jon Moxley sans theme music! He’s angrily storming to ringside, still ripping off his street clothes like he just heard the match was going on… right into position on the apron for the hot tag – something the entire building is screaming to see… but of course after an intricate chain of maneuvers in which Sheamus outwits and clobbers Santel & Hakushi before reaching for the tag… Jon Moxley betrays Sheamus… Moxley hits Sheamus with a set of brass knuckles (ala Ad Santel) and his version of the Implant Buster (on a steel chair, no less) to bloody and disable the Irishman for good… Hakushi Kuro swoops in for a springboard moonsault for the finish!

Winners: HAKUSHI KURO & AD SANTEL

Post match a cackling Shane Douglas has reappeared once more (with his unofficial XPW championship belt & Lizzy Borden in tow) to boast about the victory… in a romanticized version of the NWO’s “bash @ the beach” revelation, Shane Douglas reveals JON MOXLEY to be the 5th and final member of his War Games team! This is a collection of FRANCHISE Fantasy Wrestling players that are SICK & TIRED of being underplayed! At “Scene of the Crime” they will TRIUMPH! Now play Jon Moxley’s theme song as everybody poses in the ring.



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


__________________________________________________________________________

** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

BLKOut are trying to formulate a strategy and their personality differences are readily apparent… Tarver is beyond intense, on the verge of violent outburst at any moment… Sabian is arrogant and cocky with a hair-trigger temper… Ruckus is the laid-back, smoked-out cat with the bloodshot eyes and ready chuckle… Ruckus tries to tell everybody to chill, and to let him go first tonight because he’s got it all covered... but his partners more bombastic personalities outweigh him, until they literally storm out on him in anger… to them Ruckus is unfocused and NOT taking this issue seriously… but he just chuckles and puffs on his Black-n-Mild as cameras fade out...


** CUT TO RING **

LORD HUMONGOUS versus BLKOUT
(Gauntlet Match)

versus

[color=gold]XPW Commissioner (and reigning KotDM champion) “Real Deal” Damien Steele and his entourage open up the segment in-ring… cocky promo from Steele setting the table on this feud and wrapping it up with the “Renouncement Challenge” tonight… Lord Humongous versus BLKOUT in a Gauntlet Match… if any of the BLKOUT members are defeated this must RENOUNCE BLKOUT… but if one of BLKOUT beats Humongous they get a title shot!



Michael Tarver gets his TV entrance (scary and intimidating like a West Coast gangsta rap video) to start, and announcers say the biggest member of BLKOUT used his size to make his partners let him go first… just the match option that “winner gets at title shot” alone has driven a wedge of dissension within the BLKOUT ranks… crabs in a pot mentality… Tarver & Humongous have a nice little exchange, with Tarver showing off his sick striking and boxing skills… and even though he wobbles the giant Lord, he never takes him off his feet… Lord Humongous does one big move where he has Tarver in an armbar, jumps up on the top rope, and does a mini-springboard moonsault armdrag that is impressive because of Lord Humongous size… Damien Steele distracts – Lord Humongous hits a chokeslam on a steel chair (slid into the ring by Jasmin St Claire) and pins Tarver with a POWERBOMB! Lord Humongous RIPS off Tarver’s BLKOUT T-shirt and stands over his body.

Winner: LORD HUMONGOUS



Sabian out next like pint-sized dynamite… in XPW Remixed cannon he’s survived whippings, beatings, shootings & bludgeoning’s… but he can’t survive the Humongous powerbomb… especially when it’s OFF the top rope THROUGH a wooden table on the arena FLOOR (as set up by Damien Steele)! Jasmin St Claire FINALLY gives Sabian some “play” (something he was lasciviously trying to acquire all match from her in various humorous interludes) by doing a grinding, belly-dance over his broken unconscious body, surrounded by shattered table debris… “Real Deal” Damien Steele laughs and parades around with his KotDM belt in his 3-piece suit as Lord Humongous poses two arms aloft in the ring.

Winner (by count-out): LORD HUMONGOUS

Ruckus enters last to the largest pop of the 3, and is casually puffing a Black-n-Mild cigarillo as always… despite Damien Steele running around with a tarnished piece of BLKOUT gang colors like he owns them – Ruckus remains nonplussed and confident… he stops in the entrance ramp to calmly survey Lord Humongous waiting for him… before blowing a puff of smoke in the giant’s direction… instead of charging into combat, Ruckus beckons backstage – gesturing for somebody to come forth and join him… the entrance curtains part dramatically, and a giant enters the building… it’s…



(another) LORD HUMONGOUS (!?!?)

The crowd, and Damien Steele, don’t really know how to react… is this another BLKOUT parody? A Ruckus practical joke? Something to do with Ruckus trying to convince his boys that this “Lord Humongous” character Steele had recruited was a “phony” and a “poseur”? Ruckus leads his man right into the ring for a staredown with Steele’s Humongous… Ruckus’ version is a few inches taller and wider… Damien Steele is right in Ruckus face now talking smack, holding up the tattered remains of a BLKOUT T-shirt… Ruckus just smirks and blows a smoke circle in Steele’s face! He flicks the lit cigarillo into Damien’s face and Steele’s Lord Humongous KICKS Ruckus in the gut and puts him in powerbomb position… but RUCKUS’ Humongous clotheslines the OTHER one away – saving Ruckus… Lord Humongous (BLKOUT version) grabs Steele’s version of the same character and CHOKESLAMS THE GIANT! That just leaves Damien Steele alone in the ring now to cower away from the new big man before him… POWERBOMB to Steele! Just as his version of the Lord Humongous character is struggling to his feet after the chokeslam, Ruckus flies into the ring with a springboard senton splash onto him for the pin! The crowd counts along with the referee and explodes huge with Ruckus earns the 3! Ruckus has pinned Steele’s version of Lord Humongous!

Winner: RUCKUS



Post match, Steele is going ballistic over the loss and has a million and one complaints… first he tries to overturn the ruling until Ruckus orders his Lord Humongous to CHOKESLAM Jasmin St Claire! So Damien Steele tries to execute a sneak attack with his bodyguard but Ruckus & his version of Lord Humongous are too strong! Chokeslam to Steele’s version takes him out – once again leaving Damien Steele alone to take the brunt of the abuse... he tries to persuade Ruckus otherwise by just GIVING him the KotDM belt! Steele didn’t even want it anyways! Here! Take it! Just PLEEEEEEZE let me live! Steele is acting like a white businessman stranded in Harlem after dark… but Ruckus is just smiling when he DECLINES Steele’s belt offer! He gives the belt to his version of Lord Humongous instead… see, Ruckus has BIGGER fish to fry… and even BIGGER Goals now that he has a future title shot! Ruckus gives the cue and his Lord Humongous gives Damien Steele the biggest, crowd-pleasing powerbomb you’ve ever seen! It takes Steele right out of his $1500 expensive Italian loafers! Ruckus and the giant pose over Steele’s shattered posse (with the big guy holding up the KotDM belt) and they do the grand unveiling… “Lord Humongous” (BLKOUT version) unmasks to reveal…



SID FN VICIOUS!!



__________________________________________________________________________

(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING (w/ Jessica Darlin)
Versus
HAVANA PITBULLS


w/
Versus


[color=gold](Real) Kings of Wrestling entrance… they seem focused… intense mic segment from both men putting over their unity and promising to take over the XPW Remixed tag team landscape once more… their opponents for the night give them a helluva fight, but Rocky Romero clearly has a chip on his shoulder regarding his partner Ricky Reyes… he tries upstaging him a few times, and when Ricky Reyes actually takes over the offense (classic “little man vs big man” moves) on Gunner briefly – Romero blind tags himself in, destroying the Pitbulls momentum… sure enough Idol & Gunner take back over on Rocky Romero and hit a thunderous suplex/powerbomb combination for the pin. Idol, Gunner & Darlin pose in victory… post match – Gunner finishes the segment with a closing mic bit… at “Scene of the Crime” – the (Real) Kings of Wrestling are hosting an OPEN CHALLENGE! Any team that thinks they’re tough enough to compete, STEP UP! Doesn’t matter if it’s a team from the XPW Remixed locker room, or ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE FANTASY WRESTLING UNIVERSE! The (Real) Kings of Wrestling don’t care! They’re stronger than ever now and ready to reclaim their spot as #1 Tag Team in the Territory Wars!!

Winners: (REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING


** CUT BACKSTAGE **


** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **



Sami Callihan & Thumbtack Jack somewhere in the dark bowels of the arena… Callihan reiterates his claim to be the “Anti-Christ of Fantasy Wrestling” and divulges their sick intent to “scar the face of mainstream wrestling” forever… that’s why Sami targeted Cena – and will finish him at “Scene of the Crime”… but tonight, Callihan’s disciple Thumbtack Jack will be stepping up and he WILL earn them the right to call the championship stipulation at the PPV… and Callihan has some VERY diabolical intentions for Cena… IF he makes it to the PPV!...

***************************



Backstage interview from MSD with Cena… he still looks a little rough for the wear after the attack he suffered, but gives a passionate, fiery promo nonetheless… Cena believes in standing on his own two feet, which is why tonight (despite his injuries) he is choosing HIMSELF to represent Cenation in the “Choose the PPV Stipulation” match tonight! MSD questions the idea, but Cena is resolute in his belief he can overcome their evil machinations and triumph tonight (or is he just blinded by anger and arrogance??)



** CUT **


__________________________________________________________________________

** XPW Woman's Championship **

WENDI RICHTER © vs NATALYA NEIDHART

versus

[color=pink]Both woman get TV entrances and a championship graphic for the match… they have a tight little TV affair, rife with reversals, counters and expert chain wrestling… unlike any typical WWE Diva match… but Natalya steps up the disrespect by slapping Richter right in her face, and female aggressions get the best of them… both woman tumble from the ring in hair-grabbing catfight and wind up brawling around ringside until the ref has no choice but to count them both out… Richter is in a mad FRENZY, angrier than you’ve ever seen her before as security tries to separate the two women… and when Natalya sees the reaction she’s gotten from Richter, she… smiles and laughs triumphantly!?!? Has Natalya’s entire goal been to drive Richter out of her mind with anger? It sure seems to be working here…

Winner: NONE (Double-Countout)


** CUT **


__________________________________________________________________________

DAVID OTUNGA (w/ GG) versus MIL MASCARAS
Versus FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane)


w/ versus versus w/

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: Well, you know, an A-List star like myself, I have to go to different out of the way places such as Cabo to relax and enjoy myself and kind of get away from the ordinary people. It seems like everything I do gets a lot of media coverage. That was just one little thing I said and it's kind of crazy how people just jumped on it and ran with it. Like “FOCUS”. Now it's just blown up and evolved, and it's all over the place.

On himself and his legal origins in XPW Remixed leading up to the formation of FOCUS…

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: I was a litigation attorney. Those are the type of people who like to talk, and obviously I love to talk and hear myself talk. I really enjoyed the verbal combat, because when you're doing trial work that's exactly what it is: combat. You're engaging with another attorney, trying to break down witnesses. There's a lot that goes into it, but I really loved the competition. Where I was working you do a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff working at the desks and that got kind of boring, but the trial stuff I loved. I never lost a case. It was a very touching moment, but also a very scary one because I had to go into my boss' office and tell him I quit. The moment was so amazing because I had worked all my life to get to that point. That was a dream job -- people were dying to get it -- and I was resigning.

On GG – the literal face (and body) of “FOCUS”…

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: (laughs)[color=gold]Well, there is a reality television convention circuit, but no, that's not how we met … [Laughs]. [color=gold]We got introduced by a mutual friend, and one day we started talking -- texting actually -- and we just kept on texting every day ever since. All of a sudden I was like "Man, she's really cool." But from the moment we met we started texting and we've been together ever since. We just clicked and when it's right, it's right, you know what I mean?

On reigning XPW Remixed Television champion Gorgeous George Wagner (1950)…

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: He's taught me to slow down in the ring and think things through more. Sometimes I'm so amped up that I'm just all over the place at 100 mph, but he's taught me to take things more slowly and think about them more, which is only going to make me more devastating. I'm obviously smarter than everyone else, so once I slow down and really think about it, there's no stopping me – and George’s reign as TV champion proves that.

On the FOCUS lifestyle…

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: It's difficult just being an A-Lister in general. It's so hard to look like I do and just go about my daily life. You don't understand -- I have to go to the gym and maintain my looks, but it's not even just that. With my face, people don't understand the reason I wear sunglasses to the ring and when I'm around town. I don't know if you've ever looked me in the eye or just seen my eyes, but they're pretty unique. They're a unique shade of light brown -- almost what I would call hazel, but not quite -- and I have to say they're the two most beautiful things I've ever seen. When I look someone in the eye, they are immediately smitten with me. I try to wear sunglasses to shield people because they're just not ready for this. With the A-List lifestyle, there are a lot of demands placed on me: everywhere I go, people want to stop and take pictures, get autographs, and luckily I'm cool with that. I will sign every autograph and take every picture without turning anyone away. That can take up a lot of my time trying to get somewhere, but that's just how I am -- I value my fans and I give a lot to them.

in closing…

[color=gold]DAVID OTUNGA: In XPW Remixed, anything can happen at any time. All of a sudden, you could be expected to get up and speak, and many people would crumble under the pressure, like you saw MIZ do. But FOCUS will absolutely stand up to that and dominate -- that's my thing. You put a microphone in my face, I'm not going to crumble. I'm going to shine like the star that I am. I'm a lawyer, I've grown up talking, and that's my strong point. I'm clearly the best public speaker here, GG the most beautiful woman in showbiz… and Gorgeous George classic is the undisputed champion of all TELEVISION!

The floor is then given to Gorgeous George to provide a taste of his outrageous shtick… with “Pomp & Circumstance” blaring in the background he is once again “presented” with the TV title (in a garish, egotistical display that is replayed over and over ad nasuem by the FOCUS clique every night)… Gorgeous George reminds the ref to “keep your filthy hands off me!”… leads the booing crowd in a rendition of his famous “pledge” … and tosses his gold-plated “Georgie-pins” (golden bobby pins) into the crowd… Gorgeous George is right in the midst of proclaiming himself the FACE of Television and the most beautiful thing in Hollywood… when an opposing theme song starts blaring through the arena sound system – interrupting Gorgeous George and begging to differ…

Enter SAMI LANE & THE FRENCH ANGEL (1942)!!



Sammi Lane talks her man into a special “pose down challenge” with David Otunga… put on blast like that in front of the public, Otunga had no choice but to relent… the result being a humiliating encounter in which the unshaven, misshapen, deformed monstrosity French Angel actually gets more crowd cheers for his “posing” and “flexing” than the pompous director of FOCUS… of course this outrages Otunga and he takes it out on Angel with an attack from behind… he and Gorgeous George stomp the cur into the mat, until a savior appears… with a BLAST of pyro and FLASH of confetti and sparks MIL MASCARAS (1975) appears on the entrance ramp for the save! His high-flying, heavyweight Lucha attack dazzles and confounds Otunga and George… finally Angel gets back into the action and a brief 3-way encounter ensues between Mascaras, Angel & Otunga… In the end, Sammi Lane and GG finally get into their crowd-pleasing, clothes-ripping catfight… and David Otunga hits French Angel with his spinebuster finisher… but Mascaras is off the top rope at the same time with a sunset flip to Otunga! 1!.. 2!.. 3! Mil Mascaras has pinned David Otunga!

Winner: MIL MASCARAS

Postmatch, Angel & Otunga tumble to the floor in combat… Gorgeous George MISSES a swing at Mascaras with his large hand-held mirror, and gets atomic dropped in return! A hilarious oversell from George and Mascaras clotheslines him over the top rope! Then, Mascaras scales the top turnbuckle like a giant bird of prey and SQUASHES Gorgeous George with a high cross body to the arena floor! “XPW! XPW!” chants for that, as George is left humiliated and holding his ribs… GG left half-naked… and Mil Mascaras earning a TV Title shot @ “Scene of the Crime”!




** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


**BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **

The Focus group is in a tizzy - all frazzled and flustered... complaining, bitching and moaning about their treatment and Gorgeous George being forced to defend his precious TV Title @ "Scene of the Crime" against Mil Mascaras... but when they retreat into the safety of their limo ride, we see somebody ELSE got to it first! Tagged, signed & delivered by RUCKUS courtesy of BLKOUT, bitches! And it's clear Ruckus has the TV belt in mind with his upcoming PPV title shot! Oh my it's a 3-way ALL STAR EXTRAVAGANZA!


Gorgeous George vs Mil Mascaras vs Ruckus!!

Only at "Scene of the Crime"!!!





__________________________________________________________________________

"The #1 Contender"



Segment starts with the always dapper (and eternally pissed-off) Jinder Mahal taking the ring and mic, alongside his mysterious valet Raisha Saeed… another racist, conspiracy theory completely downplaying the affirmative action clause that allowed him to skip a Semi-Finals contest and go straight to the finish in the “Race for the Gold” tournament on XPW TV Episode #41 (Mahal won his #1 contendership in that match)… now he’s accusing Lou Thesz of being racist, and a figure head on the hood of the vast corporate machine designed to stifle and subjugate minorities… blah blah blah.. Enough is enough and finally XPW Champion Lou Thesz interrupts to set the record straight…


LOU THESZ: Jinder Mahal… you’re the first one I remember using this substitute for talent. It became more prevalent in the territories which had less respect for wrestlers. The blood was not too far behind. Some of the promoters would have jumped at the opportunity to have the match you describe… that’s why that low down scoundrel Toots Mondt booked you a title shot, even though you don’t deserve it! But we did have rules governing what the champ could and could not do… which is not to say I didn't have a confrontation with the promoter before I got in the ring in most territories. And at “Scene of the Crime”, Jinder Mahal - ready or not I will prove you’re not worthy…



Mahal flexes, so Thesz rears back like he’ll throw a punch… Mahal flinches… Raisaha Saeed distracts Thesz from the rear for only a moment - but it’s all the time Jinder Mahal needs to pull off his sneak attack… in a flash, he’s on Thesz - stomping, punching & elbowing him… his valet Saeed slides him a steel chair which he uses to pulverize Thesz… then he targets the champs arm and back (for use in Mahal’s arm breaker & camel clutch finishers).. By the time he’s about to Pillmanize Thesz’ arm and shoulder for good, cavalry finally arrives in the form of sweatshirt/towel around the neck-wearing Dan Severn and Kendo stick-wielding Drake Younger … they were already out of the building when the attack started, and came back as soon as they heard… they clear Mahal from the ring but the damage has been done… while Lou Thesz writhes in pain, Jinder Mahal finally smiles…



** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **

__________________________________________________________________________

JOHN CENA versus THUMBTACK JACK (w/ Sami Callihan)
(Winner picks stipulation at “Scene of the Crime”)

versus w/

Video recap of the disturbing backstage beatdown on Cena perpetuated by Callihan & TJ – followed by a dark, grainy promo video with Callihan putting himself over as the “Anti-Christ of Fantasy Wrestling” here to destroy wrestling’s golden child forever… tonight Thumbtack Jack will take the pretty face of mainstream wrestling… AND SCAR IT BEYOND RECOGNITION! TJ & Callihan get their TV entrances first… followed by Cena. No playing around tonight, Cena streaks to the ring ready for action… he grabs a big wooden section sign from ringside and launches it at TJ & Callihan in the ring (this forces Sami Callihan to bail from the ring for good)… Thumbtack Jack grabs a chair to defend himself and nails Cena with it… They clash on the mat and fight to the floor, in a stiff unconvincing fashion reminiscent of a shoot fight… they scrap around ringside with Cena no-selling the earlier chair shot and just going ballistic on TJ… he looks like a skinny, undernourished Indy wrestler in there against Cena – and is quickly bashed, tossed, slammed and heaved about ringside recklessly… but Sami Callihan distracts Cena and Thumbtack Jack hits a series of headbutts to the gut – and a Roaring Elbow to Cena’s head… He bodyslams Cena but misses a second rope kneedrop… Cena hits a running shouldertackle that propels Thumbtack Jack through the ropes to the floor, where he congregates with Sami Callihan again.. Sami is viciously berating and slapping him, driving TJ further into a frenzy…



Cena takes off after both of them. He rams Sami’s head into the barricade and a table but Thumbtack Jack is sneak up on a Cena with a bulldog onto the announce table… Now Thumbtack Jack grabs a section of the barricade and sets it up in the corner of the ring – THEN he wraps the entire section in barbed wire handed to him by Sami! Cena has dragged himself up onto the ring apron, and TJ suplexes him into the center of the ring, and hits his frogsplash elbowdrop for 2… Thumbtack Jack tries to whip Cena into the buckles, but instead eats a hiptoss through a table that HE set up, in a crushing spot… Wicked Ref bump on that spot too, taking the official OUT… Cena is RAGING and rams TJ’s head into the table debris repeatedly… Cena bodyslams Thumbtack Jack again... Now Sami is in the ring with a chair, but loses it in the fracas and Cena grabs it… so Sami goes low… Callihan blocks and dropkicks the chair into Cena's face – before CRUSHING Cena with a sick chair shot… the single blow to turn this match around…



At Sami’s behest, Thumbtack Jack begins scaling the turnbuckles for a KO blow… but Cena springs to life and hurls TJ off the top rope – literally halfway across the ring- onto the metal barricade section wrapped in barbed wire! TJ has completely and hopelessly tangled himself and his long, ratty hair in the barbed wire… But Cena is hurt, and the injuries from his backstage assault are catching up with him… but he never quits! Cena hulks up and manages to snatch Sami Callihan in a thunderous Attitude Adjustment! Thumbtack Jack with a feeble attempt to swing a pipe at Cena and HE TOO gets pulverized with an FUAA! Cena explodes for the crowd, and is about to snatch the referee to his feet… when John Cena is blindsided by a slovenly “fan” of some kind, wearing a hockey jersey who BLASTS Cena in the back of the head with a hockey stick! The “fan” removes his Jason-from-Friday the 13th-goalie mask to reveal MADMAN PONDO! The original Devilz Reject is back under the “Anti-Christ of Fantasy Wrestling’s” tutelage! MadMan Pondo smashes Cena repeatedly with the stick in his sore, exposed ribs – and allowing the evil Sami Callihan to lock on his Stretch Muffler submission! Cena is futilely tapping out in great pain!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1oOrv-BlEM[/youtube]

Madman Pondo aggressively wakes the referee from his slumber, as Callihan and Thumbtack Jack line up a giant pane of GLASS over the champs unconscious body on the mat (resting the pane of glass on two chairs over Cena’s body)… In a huge, climatic moment – Sami Callihan raises a steel chair up and SMASHES the pane of glass! With that huge explosion he gives the impression of breaking the pane over Cena himself in an ill wrestling visual! Big crowd ooohs on that one, as Cena is bleeding and Thumbtack Jack is in position for the pin. 1!.. 2!.. 3!! THUMBTACK JACK HAS PINNED JOHN CENA!! Re-read that last sentence again! Only in Fantasy Wrestling! Only in XPW Remixed! Sami Callihan and his troops pose over Cena’s body and hold aloft the now-bloody XPW Boston championship…

Winner: THUMBTACK JACK



Sami Callihan on the mic, and while MMP & TJ hold Cena for Sami to scream in his face, gives us the match stipulation… Sami Callihan vs John Cena for the XPW Boston championship at “Scene of the Crime”… in an “I QUIT” MATCH! Announcers lament Callihan’s antics and attacks, but noticed Cena tapping hopelessly to the Stretch Muffler moments before… and this match no doubt further injured Cena further… what will be left him at the PPV? And now Sami Callihan as recruited ANOTHER evil ally?!?! The XPW Remixed universe may never be the same again after “Scene of the Crime”!!



The Anti-Christ of Fantasy Wrestling gains another convert!

** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **


** BACKSTAGE SKIT **



Miz is angrily recuperating in his locker room, when Sheamus storms in... the angry Celtic Warrior is on a RAMPAGE and now he ACCEPTS Miz's initial offer to join his War Games team! Sheamus wants a piece of them in the cage... Miz welcomes him, and as the rest of his team move into view (forming like the Avengers) Miz tells them he has a secret weapon... a strategic mastermind to aid their cause... ladies and gentleman finally arriving in the building tonight, the 5th an final member of Team Miz...


"The Solid Man" WILLIAM MULDOON!



** CUT TO RING **

__________________________________________________________________________

** Best of 7 Series **
(Match #3)


BRUNO SAMMARTINO (1975) versus SAMOA JOE (2007)

versus

[color=gold]Incredibly intense set-up – ring intros – ref instructions – and finally – tolling of the ring bell… but right before the first dramatic lock-up Samoa Joe breaks and rolls to the floor… and smirks… then he does it again. And again… Bruno wants to fight and is practically begging Joe to get in the ring now – and the crowd is chanting his name… good work from Joe who is hell-bent on remaining a “heel” in this contest… Bruno finally chases after him around the ring but Samoa Joe SPITS on him! This enrages Bruno and chases Joe back in the ring… but it’s a just a set-up and Sammartino runs right into uppercuts, and hard strikes in the corner… Samoa Joe chokes Bruno with his boot, before bodyslamming him and getting a 2 count… Rear-naked choke attempt from Joe and his struggle with Bruno in this sequence right here describes the difference in XPW Remixed’s style of wrestling: instead of simply clamping on a chinlock rest hold, it genuinely appears that Joe is trying to suffocate Bruno with a real-life sleeper hold… they stay battling, not resting, until Bruno escapes and unleashes the heavyweight artillery on Joe… huge kicks, stomps and wild punches overwhelm the Samoan Submission machine… Sammartino stomps him out on the mat but Joe rakes the eyes to stop his momentum… more stiff European Uppercuts by Samoa Joe, but BRUNO gets the counter combo into a backdrop and clothesline that sends Joe over the top rope to the arena floor! Commercial break as announcers hype the intensity of this encounter…

Back from break and both men are on the arena floor (replay shows Joe hitting a nasty T-Bone suplex on Bruno)… they struggle back to their feet and Joe climbs up on the apron – but Bruno gorilla press slams him HARD onto the arena floor! Then into the barricade! This is a 1970’s-styled shit-kicking being endured by Joe here… more Stiff kicks by Bruno to the chest of Samoa Joe… he rolls Joe back in the ring and hits more kicks and stomps… A slam followed by a knee drop from Bruno and he covers for 2... Samoa Joe manages to pull Bruno BACK to the floor – but this time slams Bruno into the steel ring post… and on the rebound, Samoa Joe gets an overhead belly to belly on Bruno that hurls him into the barricade! His body bounces off the structure like a slab of meat, and the crowd reacts voraciously… Samoa Joe feeds on their anger and gives the crowd his middle finger… Joe rolls Bruno back in the ring again… 1!.. 2!.. KICKOUT! Joe is frustrated and whips Bruno into the buckles, but Samamrtino fires back with right hands! Chops! Uppercuts! Boots! A clothesline takes Joe over the top again, and now they start brawling on the entrance ramp… Samoa Joe tries a suplex, but Bruno blocks that and gets his own on the steel entrance ramp! They fight up on the stage area, with Bruno absolutely rocking Joe with stiff right hands… But Samoa Joe blocks a spinning lariat attempt, and in the biggest “HOLY S***!” moment of the night – overhead suplexes Bruno OFF the stage area! He crash lands on dark padded pallets surrounded by studio equipment, as the crowd starts the aforementioned chant… without wasting a moment, a seemingly still-dazed Samoa Joe hits a senton dive from the entrance to Bruno on the floor! “HOLY S***”! x10…

Referee finally starts a double-count, but Joe drags himself ALL the way back to the ring by the count of 9… and breaks up the count! He’s not letting the match end on countout and the crowd actually cheers this move… but it’s for brutal, dickish, bullying heel reason only – and Joe drags Bruno back into the ring with him… Joe lays the boots into BRUNO and hits a back breaker but only gets 2! Back to the Kokina Clutch attempt from Joe, and the crowd is surging for Bruno here… Sammartino fights to his feet and bulls Joe back into the corner, but eats an Enziguri in return! Joe is getting his swagger on now, and his cocky heelish mannerisms reflect that… another overhead belly to belly by Samoa Joe followed by a bodyslam, but STILL only 2! Joe goes for another Kokina clutch attempt, but Bruno fights, works to his feet and escapes… Chops to Samoa Joe, rights, lefts and knees by the Italian Strongman, and now the crowd is rocking with chants of “BRUUUUUNO!!” Off the ropes and they collide in a double-clothesline spot… another double count-out from the referee, but both men are up at 7 and 8… They trade rights with Joe wilting under every punch… a clothesline by BRUNO but Joe pops up… another one… another one… Joe reverses and tries for belly-to-back suplex… but Bruno elbows out and HE hits an overhead suplex into the turnbuckle pads! He covers Joe for the finish! 1!.. 2!.. KICKOUT! Running shoulder block by Bruno, and he heaves Joe up into the over-the-shoulder backbreaker! Bruno is losing his grip on the hold though, and in a moment of great improvisation turns it into a spinning Dominator attempt for another VERY close 2 count! Joe & Bruno to their feet and in their close-quarters combat, Joe grabs the referee up so he can’t see Joe dropping Bruno with a mule kick lowblow! OOOO! With the ref momentarily distracted, Joe grabs the small metal chain (he wore around his neck for his entrance)… Bruno charges but gets hit with a spinebuster – and unbeknownst to the referee, this time Joe slips the small steel chain around Bruno’s NECK when he cinches in the Kokina clutch! Now Bruno can’t escape, and begins turning blue in the face and frothing at the mouth under Joe’s steel chain-assisted rear naked choke!!! Body grapevine from Joe and Bruno goes cold! Arm drops 3 times! Samoa Joe has choked out Bruno Sammartino!! Again! Just like "NoCII", but this time he needed a steel chain assist! Solie & Striker lament his underhanded cheating. Meanwhile, Joe has the mic for a post match promo... reiterates his Best of 7 series with Bruno and now leads 2 - 1... Match #4 at "Scene of the Crime"... but this time, it's a SUBMISSION ONLY MATCH! Joe's speciality!

Winner (by submission): SAMOA JOE



** FADE OUT **

__________________________________________________________________________

XPW Remixed presents...
"SCENE of the CRIME"




** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz (1955) © vs Jinder Mahal (2014)

** WAR GAMES MATCH **
Shane Douglas (captain), Chyna, Ad Santel, Hakushi Kuro & Jon Moxley
versus
MIZ (captain), Mildred Burke, Human Tornado, Sheamus & William Muldoon

** Boston Championship **
John Cena (2012) versus Sami Callihan (2015)
("I Quit" Match)

The MESSIAH versus "Sick" Nick Mondo
("Blood of the Martyr" Match)

** XPW TV Title **
Gorgeous George (1950) © vs Mil Mascaras (1975) vs Ruckus (2005)

(Real) Kings of Wrestling "Open Challenge"

** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © vs Diamond Dynasty vs New Age Outlaws

** Best of 7 Series (Match #4) **
Bruno Sammartino (1975) versus Samoa Joe (2007)
("Submission match")


__________________________________________________________________________

CREDITS:

"SICK" NICK MONDO: http://www.genickbruch.com/interviews/mondo_eng.html (2/29/02)
DAVID OTUNGA: The NXT Interview




View User's Profile E-Mail User Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
<<  1    2    3  >>
New Topic New Poll New Reply


go to top


Powered by XMB 1.8 Partagium Final SP1
Developed By Aventure Media & The XMB Group
Processed in 1.7828879 seconds, 20 queries