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Author: Subject: WWE NXT (August 3, 2010) Herpes Edition
JB KING
Showstopper






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posted on 8-5-2010 at 08:25 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
WWE NXT (August 3, 2010) Herpes Edition



Another week prior to elimination which means we take a look at the important aspects of a future WWE Superstar, which I guess includes a kissing contest? Yup. Something new a different brought to you the fans from NXT. They were going to do this last year, but had issues with Justin Gabriel being a fairy and Daniel Bryan not putting his mouth on pork (zing). Anyway the cunterouge known as Laycool decide to host and contribute to the kissing contest, however before Husky Harris can soak his face into Michelle, they realize Taker would murder them so they brought in a ringer, Margarita! Suffice to say it was a large woman with cold soars on her face. The initial reaction of all the rookies were hilarious and Kaval’s look can pretty much be summed up in a few seconds…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U20aFZB_dg0

So up first was Husky trying to woo the large mammoth by sweeping her off her feet, unfortunately the vehicle in question of what Husky represents was not a forklift. Cole makes a funny by saying Husky should be use to big girls, har har. What’s next Josh Matthews saying Percy should love big white asses? Oh wait that’s my job, my bad. So after almost throwing his back out, he dips her and digs in. Up next is McGillicutty and decides to channel HBK’s final words to Flair.

“I’m sorry, I love you.”


Up next is Lucky Cannnon who uses his sweet pretty boy charms by brushing her hair back and plants one softly on her. To change the setting, Percy Watson. The whole time he’s been waiting he had the most priceless expressions. And after about 30 seconds of hesitation and delays with taking off his glasses, puckering up and crying, he pecks her and almost vomits. Next, Kaval decides to win the luckiest bastard on the planet that night. Laycool were hesitant for they wanted their rookie to win. So in an act of desperation Layla plants one on Kaval. The aftermath was Low Ki looking like a Mortal Kombat character ready to take a fatality(Ps. I still think he’s hitting that…(pss Warrior style)). But since Layla doesn’t count, Kaval had to kiss The great white buffalo followed by him pulling random tic-tacs out of his ass and scarfing them (shit you not). Lastly is the jock going face to face with his prom queen. After a disturbingly long kiss, Alex Riley falls to the floor in love. Way to sell it there kiddo. In the end, Lucky Cannon was the favorite but Laycool says they all win herpes. Fan fucking tastic.

Only way to go is up from here right? Lets hope so. We now go to our first match of the night. Husky Harris and Kaval. This was a short yet enjoyable match. Kaval and Husky both played on their strong suites of jumping kicking and rolling. In the end, Husky hits the rock bottom followed by his running senton which I guess can be dubbed now “The 4:9 40”? Eh. Kaval jobs another week as Husky will barely make it by next week YET AGAIN.

Up next is a recap of the Miz talking about Mediocre McGillicutty followed by a quick interview with Henning whether he was ready to fight the Miz. But before he can get a word in Husky Hershey comes in and says that Lucky Cannon deserves a shot at the Miz since he was treated like a bitch last time. Speaking of last time, this could be the last time Lucky even has a match at his rate. Yeesh. In the end they would have a match to determine who would fight Miz that night. The match was quick, even by NXT standards. I think Cannon put Henning in an armbar for 3 minutes followed by a failed monkey flip followed by a dropkick and a McGillicutter (which btw STOLE MY NAME FOR IT!) FUCK! Oh well moving on.

Now some words from the pros. Matt Striker asks the rookies who is doing the worst job. Kofi says Laycool, for making a legitimate ninja come out in a pink snuggie. Laycool says Kofi sucks because Kaval looks adorable in pink. Mark Henry says Zack Ryder because his rookie was eliminated first and before Zack gets a word in Miz interrupts him before telling the world his rookie will win and he’s awesome. So now #3 Riley and #4 Watson have a match. MVP looked bored/pissed the entire match. Maybe it’s a metaphor for how Percy’s gimmick is becoming tiresome. He’s like pizza in the fridge, awesome when hot and new, not so much now and becoming stale. As much as I enjoy Percy, he needs to step it up and freshen up his vocab. His confessional before the match showed a more natural less forced side which worked as is something I hope he is working on. In any case, both men had a very solid outing, that is unless you were distracted by Cole. In the end, Alex Riley hits the TKO and pins Percy. MVP looked like he had given up as Miz celebrates and gets ready to fight the MM.
The last match was easily the best of the night and that’s only if you absolutely HATE McGillicutty. So the WWE wants us to believe that Daniel Bryan can beat the Miz in 3 minutes but this guy with the perfect record can get any decent offense in? Sheesh. That doesn’t make sense!



Fine. Still I find it amusing that Miz is the new Triple H of NXT. In case you didn’t get the picture, Miz sqwashed Henning with the SCF and there goes his record. Will this affect the rankings severely? Nah but that brings us to the rankings and the bullshit prediction extravaganza!



Michael McGillicutty
In-Ring Ability: Great
Mic work and persona: Eh.
Potential: Dropped with loss
Pro Standing: 1st
WWE Universe Vote: Liked
IWC Vote: Liked

Kaval
In-Ring Ability: Excellent
Mic work and persona: TicTacs/10
Potential: Very Low
Pro Standing: 2nd
WWE Universe Vote: Loved
IWC Vote: Loved

Alex Riley
In-Ring Ability: Great
Mic work and persona: Excellent
Potential: High
Pro Standing: 3rd
WWE Universe Vote: Hated
IWC Vote: Well Liked

“Showtime” Percy Watson
In-Ring Ability: Average (shows improvement)
Mic work and persona: Great (Still needs some improvement)
Potential: Lowered
Pro Standing: 4th
WWE Universe Vote: Loved (still)
IWC vote: Loved (just a lil less)

Lucky Cannon
In-Ring Ability: Average
Mic work and persona: Below Average
Potential: Still Low
Pro Standing: 5th
WWE Universe Vote: Hated (really?)
IWC Vote: Bored

Husky Harris
In-Ring Ability: Good
Mic work and persona: Decent
Potential: extending faster than his belt line
Pro Standing: 6th
WWE Universe Vote: FAT
IWC Vote: Liked

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theflammablemanimal
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posted on 8-5-2010 at 02:24 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
They've totally killed this show.
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JB KING
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posted on 8-5-2010 at 09:37 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
And this board...





Two time Winner for 2010 Breakthrough Poster of the Year Award. You read that right.
I also win shit without having to do ANYTHING! (2012's Jackass of the Year)
XBL Gamertag: JB KING

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theflammablemanimal
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posted on 8-5-2010 at 09:49 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Well, you helped with that part.
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LuckyLopez
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posted on 8-5-2010 at 10:00 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
This show wasn't worth a thread and I was really hoping there'd be none as a silent statement of how truly shitty it was.

EDIt: Then again maybe no one having any interest in talking about the show until 2 days later when JB King gets to his usual Carlos Mencia act is the perfect statement.

[Edited on 8-5-2010 by LuckyLopez]





He smiled.

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JB KING
Showstopper






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posted on 8-5-2010 at 10:07 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Is Mencia even alive? I thought Rogen murdered him or something
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Chris Is Good517
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 8-6-2010 at 03:47 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LuckyLopez
This show wasn't worth a thread and I was really hoping there'd be none as a silent statement of how truly shitty it was.

EDIt: Then again maybe no one having any interest in talking about the show until 2 days later when JB King gets to his usual Carlos Mencia act is the perfect statement.



Now that's not fair. Carlos Mencia stole his material. If you think JB King isn't funny that's one thing but don't call him a thief. The term you're looking for is "Dane Cook act".

And it was a bad show but I don't think it was the abomination you guys are selling it as. Yes, the WWE's ritual humiliation of unattractive, overweight women is pretty fucking old now, but there were some good one-liners hidden amongst that terrible segment and if nothing else, be happy for Low-Ki, because he did get a mouth full of Layla's tongue.

I don't think WWE has totally killed the show but I do see where TFM is coming from. Before they do season 3, they really need to discuss a serious overhaul of what they're wanting to do. The obstacle courses and poetry contests are not captivating anybody. People want their wrestling shows to feature wrestling. Something needs to change.





Monday Night Flaw, a podcast about professional wrestling starring OO's own Figure Foreskin as Andy the Smarmy Host and Chris Is Good517 as Cousin Balki.

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Thom
The Immortal One






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posted on 8-6-2010 at 12:54 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
if nothing else, be happy for Low-Ki, because he did get a mouth full of Layla's tongue.





motherfucker...

That's about all I got for this show.





#GLENNSURVIVESLOL - Cherokee Jack, from TWD Season 6 thread

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