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Author: Subject: Random Facebook Observations
outback jack
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 07:23 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Random Facebook Observations

1. Putting extra e's on the ends of words for emphasis is way overdoneeeeeeeee!!!!!

2. Attractive young women seem to post hundreds of pictures of themselves, which is not a bad thing, but this would seem to require that whenever they go out somewhere they have to get people to take pictures of them. Is that a business opportunity?

3. Some people seem compelled to post something every morning like "Had breakfast" and something every evening like "Good night everyone!"

4. Some accounts seem to be like the Marie Celeste, cruising through cyberspace with no signs of life.

5. The OO/PH contingent is far more interesting than 99% of the people on FB.

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denverpunk
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 07:42 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I also like the faux suicide notes people post -- "I can't take it anymore, I want all of this to go away" sort of stuff. Then they thank God for their blessings the next day. Facebook is better at diagnosing crazies than any psychologist.
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atothej
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 10:54 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
It's only truly effective for tracking narcissism and other attention-whoring-related behavior.





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punkerhardcore
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 10:59 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by denverpunk
I also like the faux suicide notes people post -- "I can't take it anymore, I want all of this to go away" sort of stuff. Then they thank God for their blessings the next day. Facebook is better at diagnosing crazies than any psychologist.



The ones that drive me nuts are where someone says something similar to that. Something like, "Such an awful week, why do I have the worst luck, I can't stand anymore." And then someone comments and asks them what's wrong, and they'll be all, "Oh, it's personal, I don't wanna talk about it."

Yes you do, asshole! You posted that cryptic shit on a public forum because you wanted a response!





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.

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williamssl
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 11:03 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
3. Some people seem compelled to post something every morning like "Had breakfast" and something every evening like "Good night everyone!"




Not that this fully explains it, but far too many people have Twitter linked with Facebook, so their Twitter feeds update on Facebook and you're subjected to higher volumes of stinkier shit as a result.

I think I've hidden most all of these extraneous feeds and have eliminated the vast majority of the more than once per day one liners and a lot of the "@somejerkface #fuckoff" stuff too.

Again...there's still some of the stuff you mention, but far less if you hide Twitter.





Don't Mess With Texas

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outback jack
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posted on 5-4-2010 at 11:56 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Tex, the people who are posting via twitter seem to at least try to make it interesting or at least a bit different. I think the FB non-twitter crowd are more likelt to post "sleepy timeeeeeeeeeeeeee" before logging off
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williamssl
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:12 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
May be true of some. Definitely isn't true of the vast majority.

And really, we don't need one social networking site to be an aggregator for others.

Tweet to your twats on Twitter and keep it there. People sign up to follow you or whatever there. I didn't sign up to be twat upon by having someone as a friend on Facebook.

I have hard enough time hiding all the new games that all the idiots keep playing and inviting me into. Just when I think I'm farmville and mafia wars proof, some new shit comes up and I gotta go hide that too. I don't need various incarnations of twitter showing up that I have to keep hiding as well.


Realleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee





Don't Mess With Texas

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punkerhardcore
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:49 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I just realized something else I hate-- although it seems like the trend died already-- all those "can THIS get 1,000,000,000,000 fans before THAT" groups.





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.

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Chris Is Good517
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:54 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I always like those people who have comically horrible lives that they have to share every depressing detail of on facebook.

"Debit card got declined so couldn't eat breakfast... got to work and found out mom has cancer. Found out later Grandpa died. DHS took away my kids after lunch. Got sexually harassed by the HR guy. Car was stolen from parking lot, had to walk home, tripped and broke my leg and had to crawl home because cell rolled into the street and got ran over. Got home and house was on fire. Luckily, wife wasn't in the house because she was next door fucking the neighbor for coke. LOL IS IT FRIDAY YET?"


I'm exaggerating (a little) but fuck those people. Vent if you need to but I only have so much sympathy so try not to wring it all out of me in one week

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punkerhardcore
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 04:58 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
It's kinda fun to click the like button on those kinds of statues.





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.

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ThePunisher
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 12:28 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
"Debit card got declined so couldn't eat breakfast... got to work and found out mom has cancer. Found out later Grandpa died. DHS took away my kids after lunch. Got sexually harassed by the HR guy. Car was stolen from parking lot, had to walk home, tripped and broke my leg and had to crawl home because cell rolled into the street and got ran over. Got home and house was on fire. Luckily, wife wasn't in the house because she was next door fucking the neighbor for coke. LOL IS IT FRIDAY YET?"

Can I steal that for my status?

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Chris Is Good517
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:14 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Ha ha ha, be my guest. Please report back on the amount of people who comment on your status that try to one-up you on that, though
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borntorun
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:24 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Pretty much all griping can be reduced to this idea.

"I have to live up to the responsibilities of being an adult. FML!"





Fake McCoy Comics

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Chris Is Good517
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 02:39 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by borntorun
Pretty much all griping can be reduced to this idea.

"I have to live up to the responsibilities of being an adult. FML!"


Eh, I'd say 80%. The other 20% is "bitch bitch bitch OBAMA'S FAULT waaaaaaaaaah"

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outback jack
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posted on 5-9-2010 at 11:12 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I'm working on a formula for Facebook narcissism. I think I've figured out a version for women, and have some ideas for one for men.

For women, start with the pictures the post of themselves. Add 1 point each for bikini or lingerie pics, 2 points for the pursed lip pose (3 points if with another woman doing the same), and 5 points for fake-lesbian shots (making out in front of guys in a bar, boob-grabbing, butt-grabbing, etc.). Add a point for each "we look hot" comment that really means "I look hot."

Then move on to how they interact with female "real-life friend" friends' walls. If they comment on ordinary stuff in a normal way, subtract a point for each comment, unless it involves praising themselves somehow. If they congratulate a friend on engagement/marriage/baby, only subtract half a point, since one would expect women to do that. (Yes, it's a double standard.) If they comment on the friend's photos that don't include themselves, subtract a point, or half a point for weddings/babies. If they comment on pictures that do include themselves, add points according to the formula above.

Haven't worked out the formula for men yet, but resembling a cast member of jersey Shore would factor in heavily.

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Biff_Manly
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posted on 5-10-2010 at 12:57 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I think the male equivalent of that self shot from above to hide the fat roll pursed lips thing chicks do is the guys that lift their shirt to take a picture of their abs in the mirror with their iPhone.





"Walter: I can solve everything by making this gramophone have sex with time."
--SCSA's Fringe on Ice Holiday Spectacular.

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gobbledygooker
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posted on 5-10-2010 at 09:39 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The absolute worst I've encountered is being friends with a woman who is about to have a baby. And it gets even worse when said baby has entered the world. "Owen kept me up all night last night!" "Owen ate a big breakfast. He is a big boy!" "Mommy's tired. Time for mommy and Owen to take a nap!" (Can you tell I have someone in mind?) I want to tell her to quit posting on Facebook and go care for her fucking child!





"Hulk Hogan have the sex with some dumb bitch on the TV. The girl smart if she make the $$ from his bald ass but she also desperate to have sex with the howdy doody like Hulk Hogan. He worse than Mel Gibson and I think now %10000 he prove he have grasshopper dick and raisin balls." - The Iron Sheik

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punkerhardcore
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posted on 5-10-2010 at 10:14 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
One of my good friends is also crazy and needy, and sometimes when she makes an update she'll IM/text and tell me to go look at it and comment on it.

I never do.





Is everyone mad here?
Of course they are, and you are too... otherwise, you wouldn't have come here.

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outback jack
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 03:26 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I think women who've just had children deserve a pass. Women who've supersized their implants, not so much. (I know one who's jealous of Heidi Montag)
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Chris Is Good517
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:19 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
I think women who've just had children deserve a pass.



Women who have just had children, yes. Women who have children who are 5-6 years old? Nobody fucking cares what your kid drew in kindergarten today.

Worse than the over-enthusiastic mothers are the over-enthusiastic girlfriends. "Bobby is the bestest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for!!!(:!!!!" News flash, sweetie: Bobby is eventually going to get sick of your bullshit, and then your relationship status is going to change to single and all of your friends that are hitting "like" right now are going to admit that they've thought Bobby was a pretty big prick since day one. But in the meanwhile, please continue to regale us with your boring Facebook statuses about where Bobby is taking you for dinner tonight and how cute it is when Bobby lets you watch Top Model even though there's a ballgame on and how Bobby is just so nice to the four kids you barely pay attention to from a previous failed relationship. Trust me, it's riveting stuff.

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salmonjunkie
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:40 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I have no problem in admitting I use Facebook too much, and have way too many pictures of myself on it. What the hey.






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outback jack
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 10:30 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Pictures of self doing something fun are fine. Posting is fine. I look forward every day to seeing what the OO regulars are posting on Facebook. My negative comments were inspired by perusing the walls of some friends of (non-OO) friends and seeing one too many Myspace face.

Since my curmudgeon hat is on, I'll offer some career advice. Decide on whether you are using Fb as a networking tool for your career, or as a way to keep up with friends and have fun, or if doing both be very careful. Set your privacy settings and post stuff accordingly.

If you are pursuing a white-collar professional career and have friended bosses and professional contacts, think twice about listing "Drinking" and/or "Gambling" as favorite activities. Even if the boss has water cooler conversations about his trip to Vegas, he might not fancy seeing that pop up in his news feed about you. When he does it, he's having fun. When his minions are doing it, they lack character.

Your profile picture doesn't necessarily have to show you wearing business attire, but a naughty nurse or French maid Halloween costume is not going to project a professionally credible image. (This is particularly true if you are a man. Unless you are flamboyantly gay, in which case go for it!) Do remember that a Google image search, especially if your name is uncommon, may show an old profile picture rather than your current one. (Not sure why, but it does.)

[Edited on 5-11-2010 by outback jack]

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gobbledygooker
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 01:50 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517

Worse than the over-enthusiastic mothers are the over-enthusiastic girlfriends. "Bobby is the bestest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for!!!(:!!!!" News flash, sweetie: Bobby is eventually going to get sick of your bullshit, and then your relationship status is going to change to single and all of your friends that are hitting "like" right now are going to admit that they've thought Bobby was a pretty big prick since day one. But in the meanwhile, please continue to regale us with your boring Facebook statuses about where Bobby is taking you for dinner tonight and how cute it is when Bobby lets you watch Top Model even though there's a ballgame on and how Bobby is just so nice to the four kids you barely pay attention to from a previous failed relationship. Trust me, it's riveting stuff.


Hell yes, this. Also retarded is the smitten couple who always have to post on each other's wall "I love you snookums!" "Oh, I love you too, I'm so lucky!" You are in a fucking relationship. If this is a normal relationship, you should be able to say this to each other in the privacy of your own home. Not broadcasted for everyone to vomit over. I make a point to never post anything like that to my girlfriend, which I think annoys her on occasion since she wants to show people that we love each other, but I straight up refuse. The "In A Relationship" status is enough for me!





"Hulk Hogan have the sex with some dumb bitch on the TV. The girl smart if she make the $$ from his bald ass but she also desperate to have sex with the howdy doody like Hulk Hogan. He worse than Mel Gibson and I think now %10000 he prove he have grasshopper dick and raisin balls." - The Iron Sheik

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blackdragon
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 05:33 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by outback jack
Your profile picture doesn't necessarily have to show you wearing business attire, but a naughty nurse or French maid Halloween costume


Is it weird that I immediately thought about Thai when you posted this bit?

Count me in on the "my baby is the cutest thing evar!" I know my baby is the most beautiful creature to grace this God-forsaken world, but I don't need to update you guys everytime she poops, so I don't see why anyone else feels that they should. Now if your six month old is breaking bricks or solving the energy crisis, go ahead and post that shit.

[Edited on 5-11-2010 by blackdragon]





http://blogjob.com/geeksmarksandnerds/

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outback jack
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posted on 5-11-2010 at 06:11 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Asian guys can pose any way they want to, as people will still think they're smart. It's everybody else that has to worry about their image.

I know that one can use lists on Facebook so that friends can see some things and business contacts can't. I'm guessing less than 1% of people do that.

[Edited on 5-11-2010 by outback jack]

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