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Author: Subject: "Girl Safe Porn"
benoitbrokemyneck
John Edwards is a faggot.






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 01:29 AM Edit Post
Yeah, now it does. Actually explaining what you're talking about has this weird way of making that happen.

You see Jeb, I could've just asked for advice on findling girl safe porn. I however felt like elaborating why exactly I was seeking such porn, instead of just tossing an odd question onto the board straight outta left field. Silly me. Had I known you were so curious about every possible detail reguarding the issue, I would've just written a book detailing my sex life for you. But this was never about me, was it? It was about you attempting to poke and prod another person, as to make yourself feel better for somehow "embarrassing" somebody else. Other people just said "hey, check this out", and thanks to those that had fun with it, but not you. You just had to make yourself look so smart, all the while you managed to not know what you were talking about. Uh-huh indeed.

I'm just curious: why do I need to save face?

Because it was your fascination with me, and your failure to actually make any valid points. Other then "I can post uh-huh alot" instead of offering anything of substance of course. I asked a question. Gave some insight as to where the question was coming from. You decided to spend your time, attacking me. And don't say you aren't Jeb. You clearly have more pent up hostility then anyone in the thread. I ask a question, you call my girl a liar, or me stupid. Neither one is correct. You were wrong. You had NOTHING to prove you were right. Thus you are the one needing to save face, or admit you were wrong. Now you can't prove you're right, anymore then you can prove me wrong, as you have no true knowledge of me or my girl's sex life. Sorry you can't fathon a girl not know what analingus is. But she didn't know what it was. Same with her being curious about the same sex. The more girls I meet, the more I am convinced that half of them have been curious at one point or another.

So far as I can tell, I'm not the one smearing strange personal issues all over a message board.

Sorry, but wanting to be with two beautiful girls at once isn't weird Jeb. Nor is a girl being curious. Nor is a girl figuring out that the curiousity is probably just that, and nothing more. OHHHHHHHH THAT'S SOOOOO WEIRD!!!!!!!!

Your girlfriend watches porno with a teamster named Biff.

I thought you knew everything about us. So why are you now just tossing out random crap? Its okay to admit that you enjoy trying to make others look dumb. And its even more okay to admit that sometimes you don't know what you are talking about. Its called not being an asshole for that sake of being an asshole.

Mabey.

Its uh-huh's cousin, Maybe! Great to see no point being made as to how exactly you have my girlfriend completely figured out however.


Nope. But if you could get me her name, I would love to send her a link to this thread.

Didn't you get it. U2U me your phone number, unless she thinks that its totally pathetic that some guy she has never heard of has more interest in her sex life then, anyone else she has never met, we'll call you tonight. Got it?!

Can I have Kim's email address? I really want to send her a link to this thread.

Why do you want to send her the link? Maybe an attempt to embarrass me or something. I still want to know how you reached all your conclusions of my girl's porn viewing habits. Biff doesn't quite make your initial post valid.

Actually, I wouldn't enjoy making fun of this nearly so much if you actually wouldn't furnish so many rich and wonderful details about your sex life. Yes, yes, yes, you boinked Tina, the redheaded paraplegic double-jointed girl. Fine. I know: I wouldn't know her. She was from Niagara Falls.

Actually I chose to furnish rather few details. You just have a creepy fascination with them, so I kept giving them up. I thought maybe you would VALIDATE your initial post if I went on enough... but no. You just wanted to say ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!. Good Job.


And the flare gun went off in your locker.


Ohhhhhh random words!


a man so bored he has nothing else to do except attempt to make me out to be full of shit
Are you suggesting that you need my help for that?

No, I'm suggesting you back up your intial claim with more then uh-huh.

edit-spellun

[Edited on 5-28-2005 by benoitbrokemyneck]

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GimmickMan
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 01:51 AM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by FusionFistCutter
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad004

Ever seen anime porn? Now THAT's distrubing.

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by ModSquad004]


Do we really need Concrete to come in here? *rimshot*

I keed I keed.


I read Mod's post and said, "Oh man, wait until FFC gets ahold of that." And not more than 11 minutes later, he did.

I <3 you, FFC.





Go Green! Go White! Go State!

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2HoT
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 01:57 AM Edit Post
I'ts times like these that I really miss RJ...





Anyways, isn't there some sort of holiday comming up soon for you Yanks. I hope so because I got y'all a present.



















mmmbaa...





Who wants soup?

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outback jack
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 02:05 AM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by 2HoT
I'ts times like these that I really miss RJ...

Ditto.

About the missing RJ sentiment. Not about the inflatable sheep thingy.
















mmmbaa...







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Katie Vick killer
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 03:05 AM Edit Post
What’s with the all hate on Porn storytelling and dialogue, I’ve been know to watch porn just for a laugh! A friend made me a tape and I was actually pissed off he edited out the story and went straight for the “good stuff”.

Anyway here are some classic lines of dialogue.

The Scarlet Women. Avoid at all cost BBMN it’s about a society where anal is band and the towns folk, well I’ll just say brake law, and if the do, they have a Scarlet letter A (A for Anal tattooed on the forehead, the shame) no ass eating but just regular anal

Husband: You know what to do.

Wife: Hmmm mmm:

Husband: What’s mine is yours as along as suck my cock 10 times a day as stated in our contract.

Now that’s a prenup!

Virgin Asshole You want to avoid this at all costs, it’s got some anal in it, Husband can’t fuck his wife up the date (it’s too tight) so they go to a sex therapist who just lubes up her freckle with vasoline and bores her out

Therapist: And now the treatment can begin (after considerably dinning on her “pink taco”. He starts to apply lube to his manhood). The most important thing is to rub it vasoline, (he then fingers her butt) you mustn’t forgot to rub the arsehole!

Some time later. Wife: this better then taking it up the c*~!.

I could go on all day but I think that’s more then enough and seems the best lines are restricted to anal centred films (Stay away from the Butt-Man series).

If your girl likes comedy try Trey Parkers flick Orgazmo there is nothing in it too hardcore and Juli Ashton even makes an Anti-rim job joke, might be a way to ease her into porn. It could be right up your alley!

[Edited on 28/5/2005 by Katie Vick killer]






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Ecosystem
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 03:58 AM Edit Post
Flare gun went off in your locker = Breakfast Club?






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Krydor
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 04:16 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by Ecosystem
Flare gun went off in your locker = Breakfast Club?


That entire segment was from the Breakfast Club.

"Aside from the numerous girls in the Niagra Falls Area..."

I'm just suprised no reference was made to the taping of hairy butt cheeks in reference to the gist of the thread.






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markout
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 04:32 PM Edit Post
BBMN,

I don't know if you've picked up on this, but some of us think this request for "Girl-safe porn" is just a poor excuse for self-fellatio. In fact, if I had to summate your previous posts, it would go something like this:

"I pulls the mad bitches. I gots hoes all up on my shit abouts the THREE-WAY. That's menage-a-three MUTHATFUCKAS!!! Alls I needs is the right non-ass-centric porn to gets her all hot and shit."

In short, it seems like you're bragging and acting like an ass when perhaps all you are intending to do is vent about the status of the porn industry and try to find some shining beacon of hope among smut that there is porn out there that doesn't offend your delicate sensibilities. Either way, you have to understand why you're taking shit about it.

You retort to Jeb that he doesn't know you and therefore shouldn't be calling your statements out as patently false. Well aside from FFC, none of us know you. We are under no obligation to take your words at face value. If some guy goes on the internet and starts spouting off about his fantastically freaky sex life, people are NOT going to believe him. The old adage states that the guy who talks the most gets the least, or something to that effect. This lovely threesome-seeking lass who is somehow freaked by lesbians is for all practical purposes your "girlfriend in Canada" to us. Hence the Breakfast Club references.

You offer to call us and let us talk to her. Really? You will really look your girl in the eye and say "I'm calling some guys I met on the internet to not only prove that you exist but also to verify that you were at one time interested in a threesome"? My God, that's just sad. If she didn't dump you on the spot, I'd be appalled.

The truth is, while none of us really doubt the veracity of what you are saying, just your reasons for doing so. Hey, I'm glad you have a shot at the three-way. Good for you. I still don't really give a fuck. You could have asked for recommendations for your pansy porn simply by saying that what dominates the market today is a little freaky for your tastes. (Although seeing as you have admitted to owning the Bella Donna video with the baseball bat-sized dildo, that would be a lie, wouldn't it?)

Good luck getting the threesome, whether it be real or in your mind. I know, I know. This isn't the first time you've been faced with this dilemma. Well shit. I guess I'll have to visit that town of yours where the chicks are all into that shit.

But you won't catch me talking about it here afterwards. Ass eater.

[Edited on 5-28-2005 by markout]





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borntorun
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 05:09 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by markout

If some guy goes on the internet and starts spouting off about his fantastically freaky sex life, people are NOT going to believe him.



But if any girls want to come here and talk about their down and dirty lesbian action, I'll just enthusiastically nod my head up and down and take every word they write as hardcore gospel.





Fake McCoy Comics

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benoitbrokemyneck
John Edwards is a faggot.






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:02 PM Edit Post
So having a girlfriend and being in a monagamous relationship is all kinds or freaky eh? I'll tell you something even more freaky and more brag-worthy. Sometimes I let her get on top, not the other way around. I'm so bragging. And a big thanks to you markout for actually giving some advice. And I was venting about the porn industry to an degree, it was just an off-shoot of my desire to find something non extreme.

Although seeing as you have admitted to owning the Bella Donna video with the baseball bat-sized dildo, that would be a lie, wouldn't it?

No I own it. And no, my girl would not want to watch it. I don't see what is challenging to the mind to grasp that fact. Furthermore I expected an amount of ridicule for the thread. But I didn't really find any hint of " a poor excuse for self-fellatio" in any thing I said. Have you ever had sex? I don't know, but if you ever said you did, I wouldn't automatically reply back as means to tell you to stop bragging. Getting laid isn't anything to brag about. Nor is dating a 'curious' girl, as about half of them that I have talked to about that issue seem to be curious. So sorry if it came as bragging, I have no idea how dating a single girl for almost a year is anything that comes off as braggy. Maybe if I was like, yea "my latest girl I pulled last Tuesday might bring a ho over and have a dick sucking contest starring my dick", then that would be bragging. But that never was the tone in the least. And if I was like "talk to this guy, tell him how much porn you have seen", she would more then likey say ''you're fucking wierd sometimes. No" and that would be that. If I perhaps spent my days inflating my ego by berating others' grammer or talking about how inferior another's intellect is compared to my own, in overly wordy, self rightously toned mini-novles, for years on end on a message board, and she learned of this... then she would dump me. But not for talking about her sexuality.

Sorry for the train wreck this has become. Next time Jeb launches into me over something that he has completely figured out, and completely figured wrong, I will say "uh-huh" or "maybe" and let it lay. And Mod003, I'll glad help you out with your request.

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benoitbrokemyneck
John Edwards is a faggot.






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:27 PM Edit Post
I know the whole woman on top thing is increasingly bizarre Jeb. I know. Look it up if you (not me or Jeb) want to verify. Woman on top is soooooooooo bizarre, its outlawed in 67 differrent nations, and caries punishments ranging from execution, to having message board posters spend their time "not caring" about you by replying to you 4 times in a day. For not caring you really seem to, well, care.



I don't care so much I'm waiting for you to write back so that I can write back. And then when you write back, I will not care more, by... writing back. After that you will write back, then I will continue in my streak of not caring by writing back. Again. Hope to not care some more in the future!
[/jeb]





Keepin' it German

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TarheelMike
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:28 PM Edit Post
I'll try again at the "how many posts before this gets closed" game and say 1 again.

Too bad a potential thread of the year has gone down the crapper like this. And there were SO MANY awesome quotes in here. But then it turned into a pissing contest.

Oh well...





“Pinson, with five. Looks up, drivin’ in. Maye, for the win... NORTH CAROLINA!! With point three seconds to go! An incredible shot!” - Jim Nantz, calling Carolina’s South Regional Final victory over Kentucky.

“FBIGORJAHSJDHFJGOGPDJSHCH!!!!!” - Mikey, calling Carolina’s South Regional Final victory over Kentucky

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ModSquad004
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:31 PM Edit Post
I hear you, Mike. I really enjoyed the thread better when it was lighthearted and fun.



Thank you BBMN and Jeb for ruining my day.

[Edited on 5-28-2005 by ModSquad004]





WOOF!

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ModSquad
Hello, future girlfriend






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:34 PM Edit Post
Will I get to have the last word? Only time will tell.

MEAT!







"The moment that The Rick tells me that I am in the wrong then I will stop. And since I have 10 years of reading his work under my belt I feel fairly confident that he won't since he is a proponent of thinking differently. Save the threats."

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salmonjunkie
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:39 PM Edit Post
did someone say Meat?



OMG FIRST WRESTLING-RELATED POST ON THIS THREAD~!


[Edited on 5-28-2005 by salmonjunkie]






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Stormtrooper
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 07:43 PM Edit Post
How much does Tori look like Tara Reid in about 15 years in that photo?





THE CHAMP

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Slade
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 08:58 PM Edit Post
Not much considering that Tara Reid should be dead in less than 5 years.





The award for the most laughable cringe-worthy attempt at clever colour commentary goes to:

"When you're dating The Architect, you start to get some more plans." - Renee Young, Extreme Rules 2019

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markout
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 09:23 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by benoitbrokemyneck
Sometimes I let her get on top


Sounds more like she allows you to be on the bottom.

Close this fucker.





Do NOT fuck with my chi.

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benoitbrokemyneck
John Edwards is a faggot.






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posted on 5-28-2005 at 09:37 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad004
I hear you, Mike. I really enjoyed the thread better when it was lighthearted and fun.



Ditto


edit... playin nice

[Edited on 5-28-2005 by benoitbrokemyneck]

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ModSquad002
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posted on 5-29-2005 at 06:17 AM Edit Post
I think that that is Terri and I think she is a goddamn nasty slut!





предавать меня не

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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 5-29-2005 at 01:04 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by Stormtrooper
How much does Tori look like Tara Reid in about 15 years in that photo?



Ummm where is "Tori" in that picture? That's like not knowing the girl whose ass your eatin' while watching nasty Brazilizan rape pr0n!!!






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Stormtrooper
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posted on 5-29-2005 at 01:07 PM Edit Post
Whatever, the ugly divas don't tend to stick in my mind.





THE CHAMP

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rasslinjunkie
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posted on 5-31-2005 at 07:09 AM Edit Post
Look, all I know is this:

When I'm being tongue-raped in the assmeats by a sheep, while watching hot girl on girl action, I can't help but wonder..."Just what the hell are those OO freaks up to these days?"

So I give the Puerto Rican prostitute a slap on the ass, tip her for the sheep, and bop on over here to see what's shakin'.

Good to know some things never change.
And to think, I was branded a whOOre for my innocent comments on "raking." Tsk-tsk

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to clean up. Can't bear that "wet and squishy" feeling after, but let me tell ya - those goddamn sheep are worth every penny, man.





Stop posting. Kill yourself.

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shashwat mishra
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posted on 5-31-2005 at 10:47 AM Edit Post
Hot as always





Stuck in the 1980s.

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Stormtrooper
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posted on 5-31-2005 at 11:42 AM Edit Post
baa





THE CHAMP

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