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Author: Subject: "Girl Safe Porn"
markout
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 05:23 AM Edit Post
Lorraine,

That was a thoughtful and intelligent post you made.

It has no place in this thread, but you said what was on my mind.

Seriously, if you want a threesome, be open and up front about it. Don't look for "girl-friendly" porn that is going to trick the girl into thinking it was her idea. First of all, it won't work. Second of all, if it does, your girl is most likely the type that might want her ass eaten. And it doesn't sound like some people are willing to take that step.

You can't make a girl eat your ass and not reciprocate. You have to at least give her an Altoid and a towel afterwards.

Or before if that's your thing.

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by markout]





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Alana
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 06:31 AM Edit Post
I should be enormously offended by all of this, but I'm laughing too hard.

Heh heh hmm heh. I said "hard."





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Operation Retard
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 07:09 AM Edit Post
come on erin. dont hide behind laughter.

you'd be offended, but you just love a good ass eating just too damn much. right? yeah.






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bigfatgoalie
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 07:14 AM Edit Post
OK, not to be too serious...but I'd say an easy way to know what you are getting is to know the star, director, and production company....sorta like real movies. Seriously, don't expect great acting from Rob Schneider, and don't expect to not see some ass play from a movie made by Seymore Butts.

Although I gotta say I 'agree with BBMN with the eating of the ass...it's something I don't really care to see. I could care less if people want to do it, but I find it odd that it's so standard now...I blame J-Lo...stupid bitch.






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salmonjunkie
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 07:52 AM Edit Post
There's a video of J-Lo getting her ass eaten?

WHERE'S THE LINK!??!!?

I agree with Jeb, Markout, and Lorraine. Just ask her if she's willing to do it. If she is, you won't need to fish for porn to do so, if she isn't porn won't change her mind.






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Thom
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 01:22 PM Edit Post
Had to get in on this before one of the Mods squeezed their sphincter on this bad boy…

BBMN- a bit of advice… Get the second girl, then rent the porn. Otherwise, it’ll still just be you and your babe.

FFC- you are the fucking MAN.

And those of you who think Asian chicks are too demure for porn have never seen Fujiko Kano in action. Of course, she does quite a bit of anal, so keep BBMN away…

EDIT: Three more posts is my guess…

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by Thom]





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Snowy
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 03:04 PM Edit Post
I like girl on girl porn
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Blown Spot
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 03:07 PM Edit Post
Seriously. Best thread ever.

Reading this thread only reasserts my notion that The OO Forums is the best messageboard on the net.

Where else can you have a brutally honest yet unprovocative disscussion about porn... and not just porn, but one of a specific type? The fact that this thread hasn't really degenerated down to base vulgarity is admirable.

Though another post by FFC might change that.





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blackdragon
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 03:08 PM Edit Post
After thoroughly reviewing what has been admitted to, decried, disgusted by, and otherwise discussed in this post, may I be the first and perhaps last to say: THANK YOU.

My faith in humanity has once more been restored.

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benoitbrokemyneck
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 04:12 PM Edit Post
First off, thanks for everyone's input, this thread is hilarious. I only expect 5 replies, so this is cool.

Secondly, I have talked to my girl about 3 somes and such in the past. In fact she wanted one early on in the relationship, but I was the hesitant one. I had real strong feelings for her early on, and was scared at the idea of playing around like that and maybe complicating things, which was exactly what I have seen happen to other people. A few weeks after discussing it, my girl ended up staying at a friends house while out of town. She changed clothes over that weekend in the presence of a lesbian, and didn't know the girl was a lesbian till a few days later. She flipped out over it. I can't really explain why, but having a lesbian see her near naked, made her very uncomfortable with the idea being with a woman. I can't really explain it better then that. Until then she had fantasies about women and 3 somes from time to time, and even claim close to kissing an old friend a few years prior, after the lesbian incident... no more girl fantasies. She still finds some girls attractive, but it seems in a more "I wish I had her legs" type of manner, not a "I want to lick her legs" manner. I guess I could've said that earlier, but I had typed several paragraphs and didn't want to type any more. And I figured such a thread would be a good time for all.

Now its been 3/4's a year on and off, mostly on, with her and she doesn't want to have a 3 some. I don't need one, I just realize that its getting serious and I trust her not to dyke out on me if another girl ended up in bed with us. Basically its very serious and if I don't have one soon I may never, which is fine. I do love her, but "do 2 chicks" was on my list of things to do before I die, and it would be nice be able to cross that off... but its not crucial in any manner. Easing her back into the idea of it was the plan, rather then bringing it up every few weeks like a kid asking for a toy at a store. I figured pop in a flick, see how she reacts after not really being open to the idea for several months now.

Which brings me back to topic at hand. Three-some or not, I don't care really, I just want to know if there are any good titles that feature good looking girls and guys fucking, but not doing the extreme shit. She doesn't like anal, at all. So no Jeb, its not a fixation of mine, its just that she until recently hadn't heard of analingus, and if we were to be watcing a porn and then outta nowhere (which is how they toss it in porn anymore) some guy goes all you-can-eat-ass-buffet on a girl, my girl will go from hot and horny to cold as ice in about .2 seconds, and that is not the plan. I just want to find some non-anal, porn that has at most one guy for every girl. She doesn't like seeing two guys on one girl, but can handle two girls on one guy. And thanks for word on the "girl friendly" stuff from the Adam and Even catalog ModSquad.





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Krydor
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 04:52 PM Edit Post
Try avn.com (NSFW). They give comprehensive reviews of the Pr0n.

A rule of thumb, for me, is "Good Box Art, Bad Movie."

I'd hazard a guess and say that if you get your two chick deal, she'll want a two guy thingamabobber. You ready to toss some salad for your lady love?






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Eli
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 05:13 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by Krydor
I'd hazard a guess and say that if you get your two chick deal, she'll want a two guy thingamabobber. You ready to toss some salad for your lady love?


I'm sure he and The Cutter have tag-teamed it before. I heard when one of them has just shot a load in her, they actually slap hands for the "hot tag" before the other one goes to work. I heard BBMN Plays Ricky Morton quite well in that scenario.





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angstboy
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 05:38 PM Edit Post
I hate it when I get Splügen in my Vergina.






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markout
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 05:40 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by Eli

I'm sure he and The Cutter have tag-teamed it before. I heard when one of them has just shot a load in her, they actually slap hands for the "hot tag" before the other one goes to work. I heard BBMN Plays Ricky Morton quite well in that scenario.


That was the greatest...post...EVER~!

BBMN...what you are looking for is mid to late 90s porn made by Vivid video. That was pretty much the last gasp of plot-driven semi-acted porn that tried to cling to the ideal that it was some sort of erotic art. Shortly thereafter the porn industry realized it was cheaper to make gonzo films that were basically five or six clips of some dumber-than-shit heroin addict basting a turkey out of her ass. And it sold better too.

And to help you narrow it down, here's a Good/Bad test that I made myself while sitting next to some soccer moms at Panera Bread:

Good
Conquest
Blue Movie

Bad
Conquest of the Planet of the Asses
Ashley Blue

Avoid at all costs
Aurora Snow
Melissa Lauren
Bella Donna
Anabolic/Diabolic/Evil Angel Videos
Jules Jordan
Lex Steel
Anything shot in Prague
Anything with Rocco Siffredi
Anything Rocco Siffredi did in Prague

Good luck living the dream.





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OORick
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 06:16 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by EricOMac
If we can't a reply from The Rick on this matter, I'll eat a bug.



The hell? How does *my* name get dragged into this? When have I ever said or done anything to lead you to believe I'm the foremost authority on porn debate? If anything, I tend to believe porn's for looking at, not for talking about (at least, not for talking about among virtual strangers). Your personal tastes and habits are between you, your internet service provider, your pants, and your god.

That said, I am staunchly against unnecessary digestion of insects, so let me try to put a few cents in.

Somebody mentioned the Adam & Eve catalog, and that caused me to flashback to sophomore or junior year of college when, somehow, said catalog wound up in our house. There were contained therein all manner of videos, supplements, and toys. The one that haunts me to this day, and the one that remains a punchline among me and those friends? A blow-up sheep.

It was called the "I Love Ewe." I am not making this up.

In fact, the unintentional humor was the main thing I remember from perusing that fine catalog. And I'm not even talking about the deep down philosophical humor that made me wonder how in the blue hell society had gotten to the point where you needed four pages of things to stick your wang in, when as near as I can tell, "a girl" and "your right hand" are pretty much all a normal, healthy guy could ever need to get through life. I'm talking about bona fide slapstick humor... the ad copy was thigh-slapping, and phrases like "tantalizing pink nipples" or "will withstand up to 250 lbs. of your manly body weight" were peppered in liberally. Things that I'm quite confident were supposed to entice or arouse the reader, but which were much more effective at inducing eyeball rolling and pitying laughter. If I'd thought it was being done on purpose, that'd be one thing, but man alive: the only thing more confusing to me than "Who thought this ad copy was a good idea?" was "Who the fuck decides to buy this shit after reading that ad copy?"...

Actually, here: you want to drag me down to your level? I'll play along with this Porn Revelation: as I'm sure the well-adjusted among you would agree, the Unintentional Humor Quotient of the entire industry tends to be off the charts. To the point that I've lived alone for over a year now, and I still will review materials with the sound turned completely off. Because while it's true that there's nothing sexier than a quality sense of humor, the laughter derived from listening to a dumb girl trying to be sexy by randomly stringing together naughty words and slang to create a stilted, convoluted, unrealistic piece of dialogue that would make Kevin Smith weep with envy is NOT the right kind of humor.

I may enthusiastically support and endorse a particular act or request, but my interest in seeing it play out will be instantly deflated if I hear lines (uttered without even a hint of irony or awareness of how funny they are) such as, "Your hot throbbing meat feels so good inside my tight teen love box, you hung stud. I can't wait until my perky young titties are slathered in your thick, rich, creamery man sauce."

If I had to complain about porn, it wouldn't be all the ass eating. It'd be the preponderance of Unintentionally Hilarious Unhot Dirty Talking. Well: that, and anytime there's more than one dude in a scene. Cuz that's just creepy. Krydor and Eli: you have truly offended and scandalized me by creating such Word Pictures... hell, even the vast majority of girls I've ever had this discussion with are also pretty grossed out by the notion of two erect penises together in the same room. You two are truly ill.

And who the hell is actually still buying/renting hard-copy porn? The internet, people: get with the times! There's something for every taste/mood, and it's fricking FREE... leaving you more money to spend on a classy, high-end hooker to round out your three-way. It's just good fiscal sense, dammit!


Rick






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G-B
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 06:18 PM Edit Post
BBMN, don't say I never gave you anything...

Naughty Link #1
Naughty Link #2

These types of videos are usually the best for "love making" level porn. Good luck to you my horny friend.

(Edited because "Naughty Link" is much shorter and doesn't screw up the format of the page as much as a ricockulously-long URL.)

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by OORick]






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benoitbrokemyneck
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 06:58 PM Edit Post
Thanks markout and G-B! I actually have a Bella Donna movie somewhere. I love the production values and the chicks, but I don't think my lady needs to see a baseball bat sized dildo used on anybody's various holes.


And Jeb... She had heard the term "tossing salad" by some of the perverts at work, but didn't know what it was. I expalined, she said "...gross" and that was that. She hasn't been watching porn for a decade, she has seen maybe 3 or 4 tapes with an ex. And I am a good judge of character. If she says she has enjoyed the idea of a threesome she is telling the truth. I have asked her a few times what happened mentally to her in the "lesbian incident" and I guess a little clarification is needed here. Her idea of a 3 some was more or less the two girls kissing and touching, but not fucking each other. That was the guy's job. Basically just full filling the guy's every want, but not really breaking out the strapons and eating pink taco all night. So the idea of another girl, lusting for her body, like a man does, was a bit too much for her to really stomach. So now her idea of kissing/touching and being generally girly with a girl was skewed into the reality that its not usually like that, its more about fucking. And she thinks the idea of eating pussy is gross.

I have had the exact same thing happen before with another girlfriend years back actually. She watched a movie with me that had 3 goregous girls going at it. I went to fast forward it and she demanded I press play instead. She liked the girls, but the scene was rather tame, no toys, no anal, no dirty talk, just babes touching and kissing, and eating out. I asked her if she would ever have a 3 some with me, and she said she would to see what it is like to be with a woman, as well as to please me. Eventually the same thing happened. After a few months I asked again and she said no. She was in love and didn't want to share me, or even think about me screwing anyone else. I think this is also a part of why my current girl says no, she doesn't want to share a guy she loves. Not so much being a liar or manipulative, but for attempting to psycho-analyze somebody based upon no actual knowlege of her, save a few paragraphs, its not a bad try.If I were to eleborate her entire sexual being, it would take a small book, not a post on a message board. If I had acted on her suggestions in August, I could've had a 3 some, but I was falling for her and didn't want to risk losing her... I've seen it happen afterall to a friend. Now she is in love too and feels the same as I used to. Now I just am sure she won't up and leave me for a girl or some crazy shit, so I wouldn't mind a night with a second girl in bed...


quote:
Originally posted by Eli
quote:
Originally posted by Krydor
I'd hazard a guess and say that if you get your two chick deal, she'll want a two guy thingamabobber. You ready to toss some salad for your lady love?


I'm sure he and The Cutter have tag-teamed it before. I heard when one of them has just shot a load in her, they actually slap hands for the "hot tag" before the other one goes to work. I heard BBMN Plays Ricky Morton quite well in that scenario.


Well there was that one time in the hotel with the coke, and the chubby girl and her cross eyed friend. HAHA! You think I'm joking Ahh the good old days.





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ChuggerX
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 07:02 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by OORick
The one that haunts me to this day, and the one that remains a punchline among me and those friends? A blow-up sheep.

It was called the "I Love Ewe." I am not making this up.


Rick


I have actually seen one of these things. My senior year of college, I was the president of my fraternity (I was at a small private college in NE iowa, so we were not the typical ass whole frat that were elitest pricks that scammed on the freshemn girls and fucked anythign with a heartbeat, basically we were abuncha guys who like to party together)...anywhos, one of our pledges was from Montana, and HIs pledge father thought it would be funny to get him one of the "toys" so he wouldn't feel homesick






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Krydor
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 08:43 PM Edit Post
Krydor and Eli: you have truly offended and scandalized me by creating such Word Pictures... hell, even the vast majority of girls I've ever had this discussion with are also pretty grossed out by the notion of two erect penises together in the same room. You two are truly ill.

Was the scandal caused simply by the thought of any two peni or the specific peni of BBMN and FFC?

I'd like to say "Donkey Punch", just because it hasn't been said yet.






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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 08:55 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by benoitbrokemyneck
Well there was that one time in the hotel with the coke, and the chubby girl and her cross eyed friend. HAHA! You think I'm joking Ahh the good old days.


Hahaha, that was less a "threesome" and more of "Cutter is sleeping on the floor of a hotel room because the cross eye'd girl decided to get all weepy and sensitive at 4 AM and go sleep on the bathroom floor"-some. At least you got your knob slobbed by that other girl...

That Puerto Rican with the cross-eye had a smoking body though, which made getting past the fact she would cry every time we fucked that much easier! What a batshit insane broad...





!

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benoitbrokemyneck
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 09:54 PM Edit Post
Yes. Only "deviated preverts" would know what that term meant. Wait, no, let me reverse my sarcasm. The only people of an age of sexual maturity who don't know what that term means are either full of shit, incredibly old, or dead.

Actually she didn't know what it meant. I don't think that 100% of all people that are sexually mature know what that term means. She didn't. As for 'the perverts'... sorry Jeb. I didn't mean to confuse you here. I wasn't calling them perverts because they know what tossed salad means. I was calling them perverts because the two guys I was referring to are perverts that will gladly stand not more the 3 feet away from a table of paying customers and chat about tossing salad, while the customers are in fact eating salad. Does that make it clear? On top of that you can't talk to either of these guys about anything except sex. Yes, perverts. I myself have been called a pervert by my girlfriend, so when I use the word, its not an entirely derogatory term every time.

She hasn't been watching porn for a decade, she has seen maybe 3 or 4 tapes with an ex.
Uh-huh.

That's a great technique Jeb. Since you don't know what you are talking about you can just say uh-huh, to attempt to save face. That's not like you, but its not like you to speak about stuff that you know nothing about. Can you please elaborate upon "uh-huh" as to all aspects of my girlfriends porno-viewing habits that you know so much about, yet I know so little, except for the lies she feeds me like strawberries.
You seem to think that every couple sits around and watches porn all day. I have watched porn one time with one girlfriend. Most girls I know don't really dig it. It just seems that you are trying to paint me either as a liar that watches porn all day with chicks (I WISH!) or a complete and total innocent angel, of which I am not either.

And I am a good judge of character.
Uh-huh.

Uh huh, still nothing resembling a true arguement or statement or fact from the best debater on the board.

Again since you don't me from Adam, can you please elaborate how you know that I am in fact wrong on my character judging ability? Or you can keep saying "uh-huh" in order to look as if you know so much about a girl you had in fact only read 3 paragraphs about, before forming your base of knowledge of which supplies you with such great rebuttles as "uh huh".

If she says she has enjoyed the idea of a threesome she is telling the truth.
Uh-huh.


Uh huh, she used to bring it up alot, and nearly invited an old bi-sexual friend over for us. I can get the name if you want to ask this girl if she is in fact bi. But you already know her number, as you know all about all things related to my girl.

Her idea of a 3 some was more or less the two girls kissing and touching, but not fucking each other. That was the guy's job.
Uh-huh.

Yea.

Basically just full filling the guy's every want, but not really breaking out the strapons and eating pink taco all night.

"Eating pink taco all night"? You are Lancelot, aren't you? I'm endlessly fascinated about your loathing of "ass eating" for your special li'l dumplin' and the lengths you'll go to get that sweet young woman to "eat pink taco." Sometimes I really wish the socio-political far left didn't have so much help.

I am no prince. Nor do I care about what anyone says about my phrases I type in reguards to sex. The 'great lengths' of playing a movie and asking her occasionally what she thinks about the subject. Actually I don't have a care if she went down on another girl or not, its nothing I would push, or have, or even said I have pushed in this thread. I don't know where you got that from. Oh politics? Uh-huh.

I have had the exact same thing happen before with another girlfriend years back actually.
Uh-huh.

Yea, her name is Kim. She just moved to Vermont I think. But we haven't talked since like January, and she is pretty distant to me nowadays. Maybe she is working at the bar tonight. I could ask her if she remembers that. Maybe we could set up a telephone call to make sure you are completely informed about my sex life, as its just soooooooo fascinating. Isn't it Jeb? You like talking to guys about every detail of their sex life? No?! What gives I thought you needed to know all things me.

I asked her if she would ever have a 3 some with me, and she said she would to see what it is like to be with a woman, as well as to please me.
Uh-huh.

Yea.
Eventually the same thing happened.
No kidding?

Not at all Jeb. How about you u2u me. We can arrange something. Of course I will have to ask her first, but if she is cool with sharing her phone number on a pro-wrestling message board to a man so bored he has nothing else to do except attempt to make me out to be full of shit for some reason, then she might be up for talking to you.

She was in love and didn't want to share me, or even think about me screwing anyone else.
Uh-huh.

Yea. Mikey knew it was a bad idea and lost a girl over it. But hey, when you're a strip club DJ, a new stripper will come along to fuck your brains out soon enough. He got over it.

I think this is also a part of why my current girl says no, she doesn't want to share a guy she loves.
You don't say!

I did say. huh.

Not so much being a liar or manipulative, but for attempting to psycho-analyze somebody based upon no actual knowlege of her, save a few paragraphs, its not a bad try.
Thanks!

Well it wasn't a bad try by any means Jeb.

If I had acted on her suggestions in August, I could've had a 3 some, but I was falling for her and didn't want to risk losing her... I've seen it happen afterall to a friend.
Uh-huh.

Yea.

Now she is in love too and feels the same as I used to. Now I just am sure she won't up and leave me for a girl or some crazy shit, so I wouldn't mind a night with a second girl in bed...
You are a prince among men.

I don't even know what that means. Am I somehow bad for liking the idea of two girls at once. Or do only princes think such thoughts?

Do not bother replying as you have ruined an otherwise light hearted thread with your previous un-characteristic post that for a change had no legs to stand on, and was completely pointless. If you so desire, u2u me about the whole ordeal as it has taken up your interest so much. I won't give you my ex's phone number. I can however call you, and put you on with my current girlfriend (if she is up for it) about midnight when she gets done at work. You can talk all night about our sex life, and her one time interest in the same sex.

edit;typos abound

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by benoitbrokemyneck]

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ModSquad004
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Mood: no mood 4 poop

posted on 5-27-2005 at 10:15 PM Edit Post
And to lighten up the mood of the thread, I will say that I am a huge fan of girl on girl porn, am not a fan of Japanese porn - it always seems perverted and too much like rape, and am oddly fascinated but not at all turned on by gonzo films, especially the whole two penises in an ass thing. That's just weird.

Ever seen anime porn? Now THAT's distrubing.

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by ModSquad004]





WOOF!

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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 10:26 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad004

Ever seen anime porn? Now THAT's distrubing.

[Edited on 5-27-2005 by ModSquad004]


Do we really need Concrete to come in here? *rimshot*

I keed I keed.





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ModSquad002
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 11:49 PM Edit Post
On the Japanese porn thing, whats up with the blurred privates? Other than the facts that it is utterly effective at making the whole thing totally sucky.





предавать меня не

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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-28-2005 at 12:04 AM Edit Post
I've gathered that Japanese society is still very sheltered when it comes to sexuality, although it's light years more open now than in years past. Hence you can still have schoolgirls being raped by monsters with 18 foot penises for tentacles, but god forbid you see her actually penetrated.





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