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Author: Subject: "Girl Safe Porn"
benoitbrokemyneck
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 09:42 PM Edit Post
"Girl Safe Porn"

The past few years I've begun to notice a startling trend in porn. Like everything else nowadays, its a constant game of one-ups manship, which in the realm of pornography means, making more and more extreme and explicit videos. Today's porn isn't the same as the video tapes I stumbled across in the garage, hidden amid boxes of old useless crap when I was a kid.

The envelope of taste has pretty much been obliderated in this day an age. Its no longer enough to just film some guy and a girl banging. Directors need to have 3 guys filling a girl's every orifice at once to make it a scene. And all the while this type of graphic, unrealistic sex is being made into a video, some other director is making something even more obscene. Perhaps 12 guys violate some 18 year old chick that looks not a day out of highschool. Or maybe it will be two of the most beautiful women on Earth going from making out, to eating out each other's boxes, to eating out each other's.... butts. When the fuck did that become the norm? I haven't ever done anything like that with any girl I've been with and neither have any of my friends , so how is this shit now filmed with as much frequency as a blowjob was just 10 years ago? Its called 'analingus' apparently.. thanks, but no thanks.

My main issue is that whenever I rent a porn, I can't even seem to avoid the "guy on girl on girl on girl on golden retreiver" bits, nor can I avoid the "lets lick each other's asses" films either. I remember last time I rented a porn, I was trying to maybe entice my girl friend into giving me what every guys seems to want, her and another women. I found a video of nothing but 2 girls with a single lucky guy. The back of the box looked fairly straight forward, kinky, but nothing that was wince or gag inducing. I took the video home and wanted to make sure it was safe. First scene in, the dude starts licking butt. ARG! That wasn't on the box art, or in the description. The real issue is that this hasn't happened once, or twice, but like three or four times. The only video I have seen that wasn't marred by this crap, was a Hustler DVD. No nasty crap, nothing out of the ordinary, just plain old fucking. Only problem is that everyone in it looked like a dumbass frat boy or sorority bimbo I see at a typical parties. Not exactly that inspiring, especially for my girl that loathes frat boys and bimbos.

So where do I find some 'girl safe' porn? No ass plundering. No 871 on 1 scenes. No analingus. No fisting. No nothing that 90% of girls out there are going to say "Can we just turn this off?!" to. Just hot chicks getting fucked, no nasty shit that you haven't done yourself? Does it exist? Or should I just find some old 90's porn and make do with the dated music and hair?

Thanks for any help.

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ModSquad002
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 09:47 PM Edit Post
You pay extra money for it and make sure it doesn't have a name like "Tight Shots #25." In fact, you may want to avoid all numbers. Try Vivid video, they make good flicks. Nothing too nasty.

You are usually safe with something that has a storyline. Not just scene-after-scene of people screwing. Push comes to shove you could always go "retro" and get some '70s stuff.

That's all I got.



[Edited on 5-26-2005 by ModSquad002]





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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:11 PM Edit Post
Bottom line is, guys want to see a girl get fucked, in many different ways. Gonzo porn has us covered in that respect.

Most women want to see the BUILDUP of how the girl is going to get fucked. They want to see the dinner party where the couple flashes eyes at each other, the walk in the park, and then the fucking after that.

Girls don't want close up shots of a guys cock ramming a girl from behind. They, like most human beings, find the sight of a male penis somewhat disturbing and most definitely humorous.

For picking a movie to watch with her, the video has to be something from like Cinemax. That lame softcore "dick-taped-to-the-leg" sex scene that doesn't invoke the slightest twinge in your manhood because it's so lame. But those are the breaks.

When I watch porn, I want the sluttiest girl, fucked in the most positions, who would make a sailor blush with her dirty talk. But that's because it's just me and my hand. My hand doesn't argue that "That's gross" when a guy pops off all over her face. It's a great hand. But at the same time, I've seen SO much porn, I need something new and different most of the time. It's no fun just watching some hottie who's a dead fuck lay there halfway comatose while a guy "makes love" to her. Anything anymore is fair game and sure to illicit some response out of Lil' Cutter, except beastiality. I dig the ass play, the 4 on 1 gang-bangs, the DP, and the Blacks On Blondes shit. Anything goes for me because porn (just like real sex with the same person) gets BORING if you don't mix it up and try or watch new things.

I've also discovered a sub-genre I didn't know existed and is fantastic if done right. Brazilian rape-porn. Actually anything Brazilian is great of course, those girls are crazy hot and horny as a toad

Anyways, you're better off taking your girl to the bar, getting liquored up, and chatting up some single women with her if you're looking to score a threesome. Otherwise you're just gonna have to sit through a crappy Skinemax flick that won't even get you in the mood AND won't get you any extra boobies to play with.

[Edited on 5-26-2005 by FusionFistCutter]





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ModSquad004
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:18 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by FusionFistCutterActually anything Brazilian is great of course, those girls are crazy hot and horny as a toad



Except for AIDS.



I'm actually curious as to what your opinion is on Japanese porn.





WOOF!

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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:21 PM Edit Post
You know, I love the LOOK of Asian girls, but I can't get into their porn at all. I don't like bukkake, that even makes my iron stomach curl, and it seems as though all the Asian porn I find the women are so demure and shy that it's not even worth watching. I like the really outlandish loud girls who scream dirty talk and really get into it. Tori Lane is a favorite right now because she really gets into it.

And about the AIDS, that's why I WATCH it and don't DO it. Although given the chance to go to Brazil I'd totally go.





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mooseheadjack







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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:21 PM Edit Post
I can't decide if FFC is the most gloriously honest person I have ever met, or the creepiest person I have ever met.

Now I have to go jam a pencil into my brain to get the image of FFC furiously masturbating to Brazillian gloryhole porn on his 65" plasma TV. Thanks





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FusionFistCutter
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:23 PM Edit Post
I'm just gloriously honest, you'd like me Jack.

And I don't watch porn on the big screen anymore after I saw one DVD on it. Seeing a girls asshole spread out in High Definition and about 18 inches across was too much for even me.

I stick the the computer for my porn. Free and accessible!





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ModSquad004
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:26 PM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by FusionFistCutter
And I don't watch porn on the big screen anymore after I saw one DVD on it. Seeing a girls asshole spread out in High Definition and about 18 inches across was too much for even me.



And that's why you're one of my favorite posters, Cutter. You know your limits.





WOOF!

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ModSquad
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 10:55 PM Edit Post
BBMN, I haven't seen it for years, but the Adam & Eve catalog used to have a section of women-friendly porn. I remember one genre was story heavy and basically non-degrading stuff. Another was "real orgasms," where if the girl was screaming and moaning on camera, it was because she was actually enjoying it. That was the whole gimmick anyway, that the orgasms were 100% guaranteed real. They have an online catalog too, but I'm not going hunting for a link for you.





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ModSquad002
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 11:05 PM Edit Post
Ah yes, I remember those catalogs. They had little apples covering all the naughty bits.





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Chris Is Good517
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 11:12 PM Edit Post
IMO, it all depends on your girl, BBMN. I dated a girl that refused to even consider watching porn because she considered it degrading to women, and I also dated a girl whose pornography-viewing habits put mine to shame. I don't know how long you've been with her, but I'm assuming that if you've been with her long enough to be comfortable asking her to watch porn with you that you probably have a pretty fair idea of what she likes and what her limits would be. And some girls do like the gimmickery "all-anal" stuff, so just ask her. Better yet, take her to wherever with you and let her pick out what she wants to see. It's a good way to gauge her tastes for next time.





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borntorun
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 11:17 PM Edit Post
I like when you can see the girls' boobies.





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ModSquad002
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posted on 5-26-2005 at 11:45 PM Edit Post
That's why we call him PORNtorun.





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markout
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 12:06 AM Edit Post
Girl-friendly porn is dead. Tell your woman to cowboy up and eat some ass.





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posted on 5-27-2005 at 12:21 AM Edit Post
That's the funniest and most horrible thing I've read on here in weeks.

Anyone want to start a pool on how many more posts it'll take before I have to close this thread?





"The moment that The Rick tells me that I am in the wrong then I will stop. And since I have 10 years of reading his work under my belt I feel fairly confident that he won't since he is a proponent of thinking differently. Save the threats."

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TarheelMike
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 12:27 AM Edit Post
Put me down for one, even if I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in AGES.





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Eli
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 12:37 AM Edit Post
The real test will be if the thread gets closed before BBMN becomes enraged.

Yo BBMN, if you really want to have a threesome, slip your chick a roofie and hire a ten-dollar crack whore to eat her out while you watch. Then take pics for posterity!


[Edited on 5-27-2005 by Eli]





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borntorun
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 12:43 AM Edit Post
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad

Anyone want to start a pool on how many more posts it'll take before I have to close this thread?


The only "pool" I'm interested in is the one that inevitably forms and coagulates after a vicious and humiliating bukkake scene.





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Operation Retard
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 01:32 AM Edit Post
i just think it's hilarious that a porn thread has all the mods (minus 1 of course) so involved. and not to police it, just to partake in the discussion.

if only all authority figures were like this.






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Lorraine
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 02:37 AM Edit Post
Killjoy girl advice.

How about you just ask her to do a 3-way?

We don't need to be "enticed". We look at porn and have fantasies. Offer to complete one of hers if she'll do this one for you.

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outback jack
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 02:43 AM Edit Post
I really want the other Mod's opinion. No disrepect to 1,2 &4, but gotta know.






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ModSquad003
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 02:57 AM Edit Post
Will somebody please hurry the fuck up and
EAT MY ASS!!!





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Blown Spot
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 03:36 AM Edit Post
Best thread ever.





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Slade
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 03:59 AM Edit Post
I agree with FFC. Japanese porn is horrible. I cannot stand it. The thing that really disturbs me about Japanese (perhaps all Asian porn) is that, because the women are so shy and demure, they do not really get involved in the action, rather they just lay there, usually motionless, taking it from some guy whose penis is no longer than his pubic hair, and they scream the entire time. However, the screaming always sounds more like they are whimpering or crying, as if to suggest that having sex is the worst thing that could ever happen to them. Thus, I cannot stand to watch pornography that was produced on the other side of the Pacific.





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EricOMac
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posted on 5-27-2005 at 04:20 AM Edit Post
If we can't a reply from The Rick on this matter, I'll eat a bug.

But yeah, I'm guessin 5-10 posts before this thread is locked.

And yeah, most girls I date find porn "degrading towards women." Whatever that means. But they LOVE Viscera. I can't figure it out.

Best Thread Ever.





VOTE!

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