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Author: Subject: The 2004 bOOardies: Awards Ceremony~!
ArmyofOne
Man of a Thousand Holds






Posts 1457
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posted on 12-21-2004 at 05:54 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The 2004 bOOardies: Awards Ceremony~!

[Before getting to this year's awards, here is a link to the 2003 bOOardies Awards.]

And so is the time. The CULMINATION of a whole year on these fine bOOards we call OO. To the victors, congrats but don't let up, there's always next year with a new batch up to take the crown. To those who didn't receive a bOOardie, you suck. Just kidding, keep trying hOOmies. So, I present you the as voted by the OO faithful bOOardies and the prestigious Mod Awards....

Poster of the Year
Borntorun

Breakthrough Poster of the Year
Microplay_24

Lifetime Achievement Award
Jeb Tennyson Lund

Great Big Moron/Asshole Award
The_Insider

Best Wrestling Thread
Billy Gunn wins the Royal Rumble

Best Off-Topic Thread
The Fuck List

Worst Thread
Face vs. Face

Best Avatar
Alana's Brush with a Legend

Best Flame
Jeb Tennyson Lund all over Parvini

Best Feud
Krydor/ArmyofOne vs. Ultra Magnus/Jeb Tennyson Lund/LuckyLopez/Slade/Eli/etc...


Mod Awards

We'd Ban You If We Didn't Like You So Damned Much Award
Bonestein

Stu's Been Dead for Over a Year; Get Over It Award
Bigfatgoalie

Moderator of 2004 Award
Modsquad003 (for the awesome recipe for ModStew and the boobs)

Canadian Promoter Who Is a Valuable Poster, Nice Guy, and Not a Complete Self-Serving Attention-Whore Douchebag Like The_Insider Award
Promoter2003

Worst Poster with a Column Award
Nominated were Alana, Shastar, and PyroFalkon for barely posting here these days. But then we remembered that Stormtrooper has had stuff published on another site, so he wins it.

Your Avatar Made Me Want to Choke You To Death With My Bare Hands Award
mcian, for his Green Puke Alien

Hugely Underrated Lifetime Achiever Award
Doublee and cpdevine1 (tie)

Best bOOze Award
OORick's Nip O' the Flask Avatar

The "I Had Someone Break the Rules So I Could Get Something Nominated... and then Destroyed in a Landslide" Award
Slade and his Thread

Avatar Lifetime Achievement Award
Krydor

Best Screename Belonging to a User with Zero Posts Award
Big Poppa Smurf

Best Fisherman Award
Ultra Magnus and Jesus of Nazareth (tie)

The "He Who Shall Not Be Named" Award


Most Missed Award
Denethor

The "Why Don't You Have Your Own Column Already and Where Have You Been Lately?" Award
madiq

Best "Fuck List" Fuck (Post)
Magnus and SpinningToeHold (tie)

The "So, Am I Just Talking To Myself Or What?" Underappreciated Indy Poster Award
Llakor

The "How Do You Manage to Attract So Many Lunatics in the Sports Forum" Award
LuckyLopez



First, let's say big ups to Mr. Brad Smoley for providing the official bOOardie avatar/trophy for the big 3 awards. Second, and once again, I had a blast doing this and hope I am still around here to do this next year. Third, I finally (half-assed but still sort of) won a bOOardie. 'Bout damn time. Enjoy guys/girls and we'll do this again real soon.
By the way, come back again around these parts in April for something new, special and different a few of us got cooked up.





OO's Secretary of Defense

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GimmickMan
The Rowdy One






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 06:10 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
YES!

I WON!

Thank you, Mods, for naming me the winner of the "He Who Shall Not Be Named" Award!

It's mean so much to me!

I'm so sorry. I didn't even have an acceptance speech prepared.





Go Green! Go White! Go State!

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microplay_24
The Great One






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 08:16 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I am both grateful and honoured to win the ‘breakthrough poster of the year’ award this year. Great work by ArmyOfOne for running the awards once again, and for everyone else who contributed as well. Special thanks to the Mods, and the rest of the OO members for taking part in this annual tradition. I will also give my respects to all of the nominees for this category, who have each made themselves valuable contributors to the OO community.

LuckyLopez won this award last year in 2003, and I am grateful for winning it in 2004.

Once again, thanks to Army, the Mods, and everyone else for making all of this happen.

Thanks





Microplay - first ever OOWF World Heavyweight Champion

Owner of The "Reggie IC" #002
2004 bOOardies - Breakthrough Poster of The Year

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ModSquad
Hello, future girlfriend






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 11:19 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by GimmickMan
Thank you, Mods, for naming me the winner of the "He Who Shall Not Be Named" Award!

Sorry. The He Who Shall Not Be Named award went to He Who Shall Not Be Named. Not you. If it makes you feel better we did consider you for the "Poster Who Has A Sig File Four Times Bigger Than Most of His Posts" Award.





"The moment that The Rick tells me that I am in the wrong then I will stop. And since I have 10 years of reading his work under my belt I feel fairly confident that he won't since he is a proponent of thinking differently. Save the threats."

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2HoT
The Immortal One






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 12:21 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad
If it makes you feel better we did consider you for the "Poster Who Has A Sig File Four Times Bigger Than Most of His Posts" Award.



Damn, I was sure I had a lock on that one.







Who wants soup?

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nilesanderson
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 01:42 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I'd like to congratulate Alana on winning the Niles Anderson Commemorative Avatar award. Only a brush with a legend would be a suitable followup to my flawless avatar. You have joined a prestigious club Alana, may noone attempt to steal your thunder by claiming they were robbed.






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Operation Pajama Pants
Showstopper






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 01:48 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
but the big question is WHEN DO THE RICKIES GO UP??





Official Poster Of The OOForum's 100,000th Post.

borntorun: getting punched in the cock by a naked guy is pretty arousing.

Visit OOWF.com!

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mooseheadjack







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posted on 12-21-2004 at 02:16 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
oh come on my sig file was HUGE! I call shenanigans!





My personal fuck-off list: 1. Tony Romo 2. Eli Manning 3. The New York Yankees 4. LeBron James 5. Kobe Bryant 6. SEC Fans 7. The SEC 8. the Political Right 9. religion 10. Almost everything the WWE does

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Omega
Call me McIan






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 02:40 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
That Green Puke Alien was gold baby - if only i could find it again.....






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BoerboelLVR
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 04:12 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad
Sorry. The He Who Shall Not Be Named award went to He Who Shall Not Be Named. Not you. If it makes you feel better we did consider you for the "Poster Who Has A Sig File Four Times Bigger Than Most of His Posts" Award.


My congratulations go out to Lord Voldemort for winning this prestigious award.





Don't touch me there!

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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 04:23 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Omega
That Green Puke Alien was gold baby - if only i could find it again.....


for the love of Foley, no!






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Krydor
The Man






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 06:23 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
With two awards under my belt this year, I think it's a good idea to renegotiate my contract. I want a salary increase, a larger private jet, and a custom title reflecting my glorious victories.

Thanks to the mods for recognizing the greatness of the dancing bannana. He shows up every day, and dances his ass off for the lot of you.

Thanks to all that voted for the feud. It's more of a lifetime achievement in feuding, rather than just a simple feud. I doubt we'll ever see the likes of it again.

Thanks, as always, to Army for doing this awards thing once more.

As it is obligatory: I hate you Ultra Magnus, with the firey passion of a thousand suns. Rest assured, should I ever end up near New England, I shall buy you copious amounts of alcohol and make you drunk. When you pass out, I shall shave off your eyebrows and take hilarious pictures of you.






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ModSquad004
Cop Dawg






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 06:34 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Krydor
With two awards under my belt this year, I think it's a good idea to renegotiate my contract. I want a salary increase, a larger private jet, and a custom title reflecting my glorious victories.



Can't do much about the others. All you get is the custom title.





WOOF!

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ModSquad
Hello, future girlfriend






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 07:14 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
"multi-time bOOardie award winner"? That's all you gave him? I would have at least given him something cooler. Like "Undisputed Holder of the Highest Score on 'Burger Time.'" I don't care if it isn't true.





"The moment that The Rick tells me that I am in the wrong then I will stop. And since I have 10 years of reading his work under my belt I feel fairly confident that he won't since he is a proponent of thinking differently. Save the threats."

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ModSquad004
Cop Dawg






Posts 2324
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posted on 12-21-2004 at 07:19 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
fine, fine

is that better?

[Edited on 12-21-2004 by ModSquad004]





WOOF!

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Slade
The Immortal One






Posts 4741
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posted on 12-21-2004 at 07:28 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I am a 2-time Mod Award winner! I have D-Von, Roadblock and curling to thank for my wins. Bless you guy, cartoon, and sport!

I cannot believe I was a co-winner of the Best Feud of the Year bOOardy. It was not even one of the top 5 awards I predicted I would win. It is funny how being a participant in a discussion about Americans politics can win you an award for best feud, but calling Boerboel a lot of really mean names and making fun of his genitalia cannot win you an award for biggest asshole. Oh well! There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true.





The award for the most laughable cringe-worthy attempt at clever colour commentary goes to:

"When you're dating The Architect, you start to get some more plans." - Renee Young, Extreme Rules 2019

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Laner
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 07:35 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ModSquad
quote:
Originally posted by GimmickMan
Thank you, Mods, for naming me the winner of the "He Who Shall Not Be Named" Award!

Sorry. The He Who Shall Not Be Named award went to He Who Shall Not Be Named. Not you. If it makes you feel better we did consider you for the "Poster Who Has A Sig File Four Times Bigger Than Most of His Posts" Award.


Nah, I think EricOMac has that one locked up...






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Krydor
The Man






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posted on 12-21-2004 at 08:35 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Thanks, oh great Mods. People shall now flock to my bannana. Magnus may not touch it. Alana can touch it for free. The rest of you must pay. Jeb must pay double. Omega is not allowed to even look upon its glory.






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Omega
Call me McIan






Posts 1466
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posted on 12-21-2004 at 09:10 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
You think i want to see your tired, old, rotten banana, keep the damn thing and the fruit flys that hover around it to yourself!






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FusionFistCutter
The Great One






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 12:34 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
I didn't even win the Best bOOze award? What's a nigga gotta do to his liver to get recognized around here?

It's a sad day when FFC doesn't get a bOOardie Award...





!

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borntorun
God of This World






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 12:40 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
MORE SECRET STUFF!

This is where you need to slow down, catch your breath, and think. You've had 6 clues. You've been to nearly as many of pages. One of the clues is a red herring. Try figuring it out with other members in the starting thread.

Next clue: go to http://www.myspace.com/operationpajamapants




THE BOYHOOD DREAM HAS COME TRUE!

Er, wait. Here we go...

There comes a time in every man's life that he realizes his worth, and today, I finally found it out. I think I say it for all of us that if I weren't such a pathetic loser who spends all his time on a message board thinking up ways to entertain his audience of 40, I wouldn't be sitting here today as the most important person ever.

Wait...that was another crappy acceptance speech. One more time...

Wow. *sniff* Thanks, guys (and any girls that voted for me). Just a year ago I was robbed of the most prestigious BOOardie of all, the Avatar award. 12 months later, I win two Awardies! (Even if I TOLD you all in the nomination thread NOT to vote for the BG Royal Rumble. Sheesh.)

I'd like to thank my distinguished competition, especially STH, Ultra Magnus, and Madiq. Eco, I love ya, but I don't know what the hell you were doing in the running. I really do think that, along with those mentioned, Jeb, LuckyLopez, and Angstboy deserved at least a mention. I guess I'll take the win, though. Moms is gonna be proud!

It feels good to be appreciated, and I'll do my best to continue my tradition of serious wrestling-oriented posts bookended with my unmatched music forum debating skills and undying pledge to foreign politics in the CE realm of the board. In 2005, I pledge...nay, PROMISE to continue with the hard-hitting journalism you've come to expect.

Oh, and the toys will be back. Don't worry. Thanks again, everybody!

[Edited on 8-17-2006 by borntorun]

[Edited on 8-18-2006 by borntorun]





Fake McCoy Comics

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Eli
The Immortal One






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 01:59 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Awwwwwwwwwwww...

The lil 'Fuck' List got itself some recognition. The next best thing to it winning a boardie would be it being copied over at 411!





The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.

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Sasheen Littlefeather
ButtViper






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 03:40 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Good Evening,

My name is Sasheen Littlefeather, and I am here to accept the Best Flame and Lifetime Achievement Awards on behalf of Jeb Tennyson Lund. I will keep my remarks brief.

It has come to my attention that there are no Obtuse Angle groupies. This must change.

Being a veritable polymath and frequently-bathed denizen of this fair intarweb of ours, I've surfed literally dozens of sites over thousands of hours, often reading as many as two or three articles in a single week. Yet one thing has not escaped my attention: even the lowliest of the low has groupies. Don't believe me? Go to any local radio station's website, and you'll find that morning drive-time guys Assface and McCormick (not to be confused with either Hardcastle and McCormick or MacMillan and Wife — or McCloud, for that matter) have a photo gallery featuring pictures of ten or twenty women who have written the drive-time guys' names over their boobs. The fact that women dedicate their boobs to two boobs does not escape my schadenfreude detector.

This intrigued me, so I searched further. Countless radio stations have similar groupie galleries. Even B from ProgressiveBoink has his groupies. Moreover, many intarweb celebrities (which are, by definition, 1/100th of an authentic celebrity) have pictures of male groupies dressed in costume or otherwise demonstrating — via sign or body language — that the celebrity in question rocks, rawks, rohks, rokks or "gets stoned." Groupie-dom does not mandate boobies, apparently, although they certainly help. (Insert second schadenfreude boob joke here.)

Well, I say that Jeb should miss out on this phenomenon no longer!

It is time to inaugurate the Obtuse Groupies Page, a subset of OnlineOnslaught dedicated to those fans whose slavish devotion has crossed the line from merely sitting at the computer, lost in idle fantasy, to actually scanning photographs and sending them for the edification of all — and, more importantly, Jeb. Is this just a ploy to get pictures of his name written on women's breasts? Absolutely. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Absolutely not. Also, everyone enjoys pictures of guys being too enthusiastic about another guy, preferably while making the "devil horns" hand gesture and sticking their tongues out.

Simply send your photos to ObtuseGroupie@OnlineOnslaught.com and become a member of the fastest-growing exclusive club online! ("Fastest" meaning "some irrational claim I just made"; and "exclusive club" meaning, "not many people will be in it, for obvious reasons.") Nudity is strictly verboten, but if you are not male, you are encouraged to push the envelope of "almost nude" as far as it can go. (Wearing a watch would qualify for "almost nude.") Unless you're ugly. No uggos.

That said — on behalf of the Apache, Yaqui and Pueblo people, and as the official 1970 winner of the Miss American Vampire competition — I hereby dedicate my breasts to Jeb Tennyson Lund and his groupie page. I hope that this sets a precedent followed by thousands.

Naturally, I expect the first Official Obtuse Groupie (other than me) to be none other than OO's very own wrestling/gymnastics maven Erin Anderson. Erin was such an informal Obtuse Groupie two years ago that her writing fan emails turned into becoming a message board member, a guest columnist, then one of the shining lights in the Literate Wrestling Criticism universe! Also, she's OO's resident ambassador to hotness, filling a position Jeb gladly and wearily vacated. Without a doubt, the second Obtuse Groupie will be OO's own Matt Hocking, who not only has a scanner, but (I am told) is fond of pictures wherein he's somehow stimulating his nipples. Rumor also has it that OO's Brad Smoley and Big Danny T are hard at work on flawless "Jeb Tennyson Lund" costumes.

With such a stellar member list, how can you not join? Send a photo and become an Obtuse Groupie today.

Finally, Jeb added in closing this personal message to you all:
quote:
First, thank you for the Lifetime Achievement Award. It’s an honor and pleasure to win. Thank you, too, for recognizing the Flame on Parvini. I actually enjoyed the arguments in that thread when it started, and LuckyLopez' comments regarding my post and ROH are an incredible compliment. Also, thanks to everyone who voted for that thread as the worst thread of the year, realizing that the MY EYES thread lacked the requisite cooperative badness to make it deserving. And thanks to those who lumped me in with the epic Magnus v. Krydor feud, but I'd rather exempt myself from the names on the list. Krydor and Magnus deserve the distinction. I should not be paired with them.

Finally, I would hope that those who are listening would not look upon this as a rude intrusion, but as an earnest effort to focus attention on an issue that might very well determine whether or not this country has the right to say from this point forward we believe in the inalienable rights of all people to remain free and independent on lands that have supported their life beyond living memory.

Thank you for your kindness and your courtesy to Miss Littlefeather. Thank you and good night.






Miss American Vampire, 1970.

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Alana
Legend Thriller






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 05:25 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Oh, for fuck's sake. I have to follow that acceptance speech? I'm not even going to try.

Two people do deserve thank-yous here, though. Gracias to The Rick for taking the time to create this avatar for me, seeing as I lack the technology to do so; even if I did, I'd be too stupid to figure it out. And, of course, I must thank The Man. Thank you, Mr. Flair, and God bless your roaming hands. I now have a killer story to tell and an even better avatar thanks to you. I'm also completely convinced now that you did it on purpose. Extra points for going after the chick without scarily fake, silicone-enhanced mammaries!

And I must thank my lucky stars that it was Flair and not Orton who grabbed my bOObs (I wouldn't have put it past ol' Orton, either), because I'm pretty sure some of his stalkers would have hunted me down by now and killed me (slowly) for tempting their Darling Randy away from them.

[Edited on 12-22-2004 by Alana]





Assaulted by The Man on two separate occasions!

Proud winner of the 2004 & 2005 BOOardie - Best Avatar. Beat that, bitches!

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OOMatt
Crazy Go Nuts






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posted on 12-22-2004 at 06:20 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Damn. I was SURE I had that Worst Poster with a Column Award shit LOCKED DOWN!

But I will say for certain that you will never Eeeeeeeever see me fondling my nipples for Jeb. Nope. NEVER~!






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