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FFC DRUNKENMANIA XX EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
FusionFistCutter - 3-10-2004 at 02:57 AM

Folks, it's been a long year, and one that won't be forgotten. WM XX is upon us. Who would have thought my liver would hold out this long? Certainly not my doctor, who as he carefully studied his clipboard as I sat bare assed in the examination room said to me, "FFC, one more drinking binge during a PPV, and you've had it."

But I can't let some off-handed statement like that stop me now can I?

It is time ONCE AGAIN to crown a new champion, although this champion will be special. This is "where it all begins, again", to coin a phrase I heard somewhere recently. The winner will become something akin to OO Lore. Or lOOre as I prefer (and just made up). Our children will fondly look back and remember the day when the evolution of the Tiara took place. And then they will say "Jesus Dad, you were a fucking LOSER!".

Place your bets folks, the drill remains the same because we couldn't think of anything more constructive in chat, yet the end result for the winner will far far exceed your wildest dreams. It is that monumental. Whoever correctly guesses first the segment or match where I become tired with the senseless violence and begin shotgunning 5 month old Fosters takes the ultimate prize.

OpTard is our current champion, and the Tiara sits upon his head as his axis of evil further threatens our way of life. But rules are rules, so his guess trumps anyone elses.

Feel free to vote in the poll if your answer has already been taken, and also feel free to predict a match or segment you feel I may have missed or that might happen. I reward cleverness with power. Mighty power.


borntorun - 3-10-2004 at 03:02 AM

I'm going with Christian v. Jericho.

And FFC, I'm glad you put your sobriety, your liver, and your very life on the line for us, month in and month out.


ThePunisher - 3-10-2004 at 03:05 AM

I voted for the Playboy Circle Jerk. I figure you will want to be sober while watching the Divas, but from that point on, it's all downhill.


GimmickMan - 3-10-2004 at 03:09 AM

I'm gonna call Kane/Taker just for the simple fact that it's gonna take Undertaker around 25 minutes to get to the ring, so that leave plenty of time for drinking!


maestrom4 - 3-10-2004 at 03:13 AM

Seeing that the pre-show was not an option.. Give me the Cruiser Open.


OOMatt - 3-10-2004 at 03:16 AM

The Raw Tag.

With the promting of RVD and the boredom of Cade/Jindrak, you'll be heavy into whatever you can get your hands onto and out of your gourd in no time.


Operation Pajama Pants - 3-10-2004 at 03:25 AM

i'm going with Y2J/christian for 2 reasons.


1. i predict that either the raw tag clusterfuck or the playboy match will come on before it, which send FFC into a smoking frenzy, which will make him unable to get through the Y2J/christian match.

2. i want to ruin BTR's chances of winning.


borntorun - 3-10-2004 at 03:28 AM

Damn you, OpTard. I had a feeling you'd do that, and I almost put a back-up choice up there. What did I ever do to you? You had the same reasoning I did.

Anyway, I guess I have to pick again. So:

Cena/ Big Show


Operation Pajama Pants - 3-10-2004 at 03:35 AM

sorry BTR. you saw my reasoning was legit. truth is i had that match in mind before i even looked at the thread. you just happened to pick it.


AriestheRam - 3-10-2004 at 04:22 AM

I'll take the SmackDown tag clusterfuck. Just because clusterfucks seem to be conducive to drinking.


ModSquad - 3-10-2004 at 04:30 AM

I'm taking Brock v. Goldberg.


Eli - 3-10-2004 at 04:32 AM

Guerrero/Angle baby! You make it to the end or close to it!


ArmyofOne - 3-10-2004 at 06:02 AM

Well, I don't really know what's going on storyline-wise so I'll make a shot in the dark guess: Rock-Sock vs. Evolution.


Alana - 3-10-2004 at 06:08 AM

I'll take Molly v. Victoria.


WLD - 3-10-2004 at 01:02 PM

The Raw Tag match is my choice. Just thinking about it makes me want a drink...and I dont drink.


angstboy - 3-10-2004 at 03:19 PM

I'll take the Triple Thhhreat match because no one else has. The "special" will be mine!


Antelope - 3-10-2004 at 04:24 PM

During teh hall of fame bullshit. That'll be long and dull - which sounds like a recipe for drinking to me!


OO Kyle - 3-10-2004 at 04:58 PM

I vote for "Coach's pre-PPV show". Unlike these other infidels, I have faith in you.


outback jack - 3-10-2004 at 05:08 PM

Vince-Eric. Just a hunch.


OOMatt - 3-10-2004 at 07:03 PM

Upon further review, this thread and poll are invalid. There is no mabey.

Burn him at the stake!


AnglesGoldMedals - 3-10-2004 at 08:34 PM

Damn! No votes left. This is so unfair.....

I suppose I'll have to take maybe (that's when Bret Hart comes out and delivers a promo on Vince)


FusionFistCutter - 3-10-2004 at 10:07 PM

I wanted to fit in a "mabey", trust me I did. But we can only have 10 slots per poll. As you can see I couldn't even fit Cena/Big Show in the mix.


ModSquad004 - 3-10-2004 at 10:34 PM

It'll be during the Rock's promo.

Somewhere between "Finally, the Rock has come back to Madison Square Garden" and "If ya smelllllllalalala what the Rock is cookin'"


FusionFistCutter - 3-12-2004 at 10:28 PM

I'm bumping this to the top because there's more guesses to be made and there is no way in HELL an event of this magnitude is dropping to the 2nd page.

Lots of things happening on WM folks, take a stab at something off the wall and maybe it'll pan out for ya!


Firebreaker Chip - 3-13-2004 at 12:34 AM

I'm taking the return of either Bruno or Hulk or Savage or Piper or Mr. T or Mr. Wonerful. I figure since it is Wrestlemaina these people belong.


ModSquad - 3-13-2004 at 12:53 AM

How many guesses is that? You can't do that! That's like me saying FFC will get drunk during Brock/Goldberg, the RAW tag match, the SD tag match, Angle/Guerrero, HHH/Benoit/HBK, the women's title match or the Playboy Divas match. You gotta settle on SOMETHING man.


FusionFistCutter - 3-13-2004 at 12:59 AM

Yeah Chip, one match/event per person man, you're disqualified. Even if I HAD reached the point of no return during one of your predictions, I would have lied and given it to someone else.

You could have solved all that by just saying "Hall of Fame ceremony", and that would have been fine.


Firebreaker Chip - 3-13-2004 at 03:23 AM

I thought since none where techinally supposed to show I could get away with it, but I tried andd failed.


ThePunisher - 3-13-2004 at 03:11 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Firebreaker Chip
I thought since none where techinally supposed to show I could get away with it, but I tried andd failed.


The lesson here folks? Never try.


TarheelMike - 3-13-2004 at 03:17 PM

I'll say a backstage interview with Evolution, and in particular when Orton begins rambling.


benoitbrokemyneck - 3-13-2004 at 06:47 PM

I just want a repeat perfromance of last year FFC, complete with jumping up and yelling 'HOLY SHIT', and then quickly falling over a chair and crashing to the floor. That was classic man.

And in a secret turn of events I might just swerve this whole IWC and not order WM, forcing me and FFC to watch it at Hooters. If this happens FFC will be too distracted by the rampant boobage to pay attention and you all will lose. Muhahaha!

[/evil]


FusionFistCutter - 3-13-2004 at 07:03 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

ANYWHERE but Hooters. We'll have to go 4 hours early and the bitches there are worse than strippers in terms of "pressure sales tactics".

Although I AM single now, I wouldn't mind waking up next to a dead Hooters girl.


ConcreteTG - 3-14-2004 at 01:45 AM

Since no one's brought it up, I vote for when Pete Rose tries to talk to Kane. FFC will have no choice but to TOAST the moment Kane tombstones Rose (or Undertaker saves him)

Watch the rOOkie win ^_^
(me the FFC rookie)


FusionFistCutter - 3-15-2004 at 06:10 AM

well, folks, I've gone through the predictions, and it's pretty obvious who has won.

Outback Jack, congratulations on Vince/Bischoff as the correct answer.

Wait a sec, that didn't happen, and your hunch was WRONG, so so VERY WRONG!

Anyways, hope you got a thrill out of that, but the real winner tonight is someone who most of you fear. A man who single handedly weilds the most power here at OO. A man who's avatar has frightened all of us, but we as a species have learned to live with it over the months it has been in place.

That is about to change.

The NEW FFC Tiara champion:



















MODSQUAD!!!!!!!!!!




Congratulations sir, it is time to take you rightful place as champion. You are the first to display the coveted.....



MOTOROLA FFC TIARA PRESENTED BY SMOLEY





































It must be proudly displayed as your avatar whenever you are the champion. There is no discussion in this matter.


A new era has begun.....


ModSquad - 3-16-2004 at 12:37 AM

Thank you, thank you. Truly it is a wonderful honor, one difficult to achieve and not to be carried lightly. Although I am afraid the temporary loss of my NakedGunBitch avatar will reduce the aura of authority, not taking the tiara avatar would besmirch the glory of the award.


Although King Coronas give me a horrible headache.

[Edited on 3-15-2004 by ModSquad]


outback jack - 3-16-2004 at 12:44 AM

Let me be the first to congratulate ModPrime. You look marvelous!

FFC, they really did have a match - you were just so disinterested that you didn't notice!


FusionFistCutter - 3-16-2004 at 01:09 AM

quote:
Although King Coronas give me a horrible headache.


That's King COBRA in the picture, a verifiable poison in malt liquor form. Not only will it give you headaches, it will get you blowjobs from crack whores and disoriented mornings in places you never EVER imagined you'd end up in.


ModSquad - 3-16-2004 at 01:25 AM

Oh boy. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Why not just award me a bucket of Small Pox or something?

Seriously though, I do NOT drink King Cobra. I drink Coldcock.

Ow! Damn.


FusionFistCutter - 3-16-2004 at 01:30 AM

On a serious note, props go to Angstboy for making that avatar and hosting it for us to use here. I know he's busy (and a Ravens fan), but he and I put that aside and he came up with something better than I had ever imagined. Nice work bro.

IT ALL BEGINS....AGAIN!!


LuckyLopez - 3-16-2004 at 02:08 AM

You know... its a bold and impactful move for Modsquad to take on the avatar crown. FFC, you could have not chosen a better man (or woman) to hold the literal crown for the first time. Noone can dare question replacing their avatar now that the naked chick with the guns and scary gas mask has taken a month off.

Of course the guy saying that has a freaking Mr. Potato Head as an avatar so take it as you will...


ModSquad - 3-17-2004 at 01:33 PM

I'm scared without gas mask gun chick. I can't deal with the bright colors and weirdness of the FFC Tiara. I may have to make sure he gives it to someone else. I just don't understand this.