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Post 1000!
Alana - 2-8-2004 at 08:26 AM

Finally.

On January 23rd, 2003, I innocently registered on the message boards here at Online Onslaught, having no idea what I was getting myself into. Now I practically live here (I have a futon in the basement) and write columns for what I think is the best wrestling site on the web. It's a cool thing, aside from the "I have no life" aspect of it. And the "Why am I not getting paid?" aspect of it.

First off, thanks to the Rick for running this place, and the Mods for keeping it poop-free.

Thanks to Jeb for being one of the weirdest late-night chat buddies around. You make 4 a.m. a hell of a lot more interesting, Your Popeness. Thanks to 2HoT, Bonestein, angstboy, and Matt for consistently making me laugh. Thanks to SpinningToeHold for your consistently brilliant posts in the Graveyard, and to borntorun for the fabulous Billy Gunn countdown. Thanks to Kyle, Ultra, Krydor, and everyone else in CE who make that forum a hilarious (and oftentimes informed) read. I love seeing you guys at each others' throats, although I will NEVER post there. Thanks to the board idiots, for being such easy targets. Thanks to FFC for the beautiful tiara. Thanks to Tarheel Mike for Judgement Day 2000, an awesome PPV. Thanks to salmonjunkie, Eli, and markout, just 'cause.

And last, but certainly not least, thanks to rasslinjunkie for providing the inspiration for this post. I'm pointing to my shirt. No, really. My shirt.

[Edited on 2-8-2004 by Alana]


salmonjunkie - 2-8-2004 at 08:38 AM

Congrats! Thanks for your articles, they're fun reads. And thanks for being the first person to give this place a woman's touch.

Why aren't you wearing FFC's tiara?


Alana - 2-8-2004 at 08:43 AM

Because it'd mess up my hair, silly.


OOMatt - 2-8-2004 at 09:09 AM

Congrats, Erin. I'll be sure to pass your thanks on to the thousand monkeys that slave every week to write the Satire for common consumption (whilest I think of words that rhyme with thumb tack).

You know, you don't look too terribly happy to be at 1000 posts in that picture. I'd think you'd be thrilled. You've got a thousand posts, newly brown hair, an OO Shirt, AND you get to point to your rack. Hell, I'll just settle for having hair by the time I hit 1000.


Alana - 2-8-2004 at 09:15 AM

Actually, my hair has been brown (a little closer to red, but you can't tell in that picture) since last July. And don't worry; you'll get a big, cheesy grin for post 2000.


Operation Retard - 2-8-2004 at 09:26 AM

congrats alana. even though i didn't get any thanks. but then again, i dont think i've ever done anything around really deserving any thanks. but then again, i have complimented you numerous times on your hobbes avatar. but then again, i'm not all that funny.

anyway. keep up the great posts and DEFINITELY keep up the great columns, but most importantly, NEVER LOSE THAT AVATAR!


Ultra Magnus - 2-8-2004 at 09:30 AM

W00t.


Ultra Magnus - 2-8-2004 at 10:17 AM

That's the Leah Remini "I'm a tough hot chick" look. I think Erin is secretly from Brooklyn. Then again, I'm drunk


outback jack - 2-8-2004 at 04:35 PM

Congrats on 1K! And, nice shirt


Dynamicjt - 2-8-2004 at 10:31 PM

Congrats!!! Here's wishing you a thousand more.


OOMatt - 2-8-2004 at 11:33 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Alana
and write columns for what I think is the best wrestling site on the web.


Wait...you write columns for 411?

You've gotta hook me up with some of that!


borntorun - 2-8-2004 at 11:34 PM

Congratulations. Your columns are one of the best reasons to come to OO, and during chat you are more often than not the most intelligent and wrestling-focused person in the room.

Stop making all us dOOds look bad.

Kidding. Keep going strong and may another year of perspectives and posts lie ahead!


Operation Retard - 2-9-2004 at 12:09 AM

she's DEFINITELY the most wrestling focused. everyone else will be talking about EWR and porkchop sandwiches then erin will just be like "so, how bout that eddie guererro, huh. that was some crazy shit tonite."

for some reason, she has this crazy idea that this wrestling website, along with its forums and chat room, should be about wrestling. CRAZYNESS~!


markout - 2-9-2004 at 12:54 AM

Congrats. I should only hope I look so good when I hit post 1000. Although that seems to imply I look that good now...


whyme - 2-9-2004 at 01:33 AM

maybe i'll point to my chest on the 1000 post.

which will be in about 5 years at my pace


AnglesGoldMedals - 2-9-2004 at 01:40 AM

Congrats Erin/Alana. And thanks for Bert.


BoerboelLVR - 2-9-2004 at 05:09 AM

Congrats!!

Keep up the great work. And I concur, that is a mighty fine..err...um...shirt, whew yeah shirt, that's what I was lookin at.

Here's to 1000 more and of course, your choice of beer from Lucky's cooler.


angstboy - 2-9-2004 at 05:34 AM

Clap clap clap clap.

Good job Erin. Way to go on you milestOOne! Oh, and I'm glad I make you laugh. Now, just you all wait 'til I hit 1000 posts. You're in for it then!


LuckyLopez - 2-9-2004 at 05:38 AM

Yes, congratulations. And you are of course to take Boerboel up on that beer offer... but for our fine lady of the board I'm willing to go the extra mile.



Me and Boerboel will pull out the Chivas for 2000.

EDIT: Don't let Bones grab it.

[Edited on 2-9-2004 by LuckyLopez]


Operation Retard - 2-9-2004 at 06:20 AM

lucky, i tried and i tried andi tried, but no matter how many times the clicked the image, IT NEVER ENLARGED~!

i never knew you to be suck a liar chris and i am terribly, terribly disappointed in you.


Slade - 2-9-2004 at 03:46 PM

Congratulations, Alana.

Why did you post that picture of yourself, Alana? I thought you weren't going to do that ever again. Aren't you afraid of attracting new retarded internet stalkers?

quote:
Originally posted by Angstboy
Now, just you all wait 'til I hit 1000 posts. You're in for it then!


What are you going to do? The only thing that you could possibly do to top a Top 2000 Posts list is to post naked pictures of yourself on the Message Boards.


Bonestein - 2-9-2004 at 04:49 PM

Congrats Alana...you've never made me want to gouge my eyes out with a broken bottle.

And Slade, I am planning a 2500 post spectacular. Thank you for the idea. I better get my hands on that bottle of Chivas you guys are talking about. Thank God for you guys that I got that digital camera at a Boxing Day sale... HERE COMES NUDE BONESTEIN!!!


angstboy - 2-9-2004 at 05:41 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Slade
What are you going to do? The only thing that you could possibly do to top a Top 2000 Posts list is to post naked pictures of yourself on the Message Boards.


First, you'll just have to wait. I thought that was clear. Second, I was planning on posting naked pictures of you giving yourself a blowjob, but since "giving yourself a blowjob" is all you do around here anyway I decided to change my mind and do something else.


Alana - 2-9-2004 at 11:00 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Slade

Why did you post that picture of yourself, Alana? I thought you weren't going to do that ever again. Aren't you afraid of attracting new retarded internet stalkers?


Not really. I'm more afraid of what will happen when the OO faithful start Photoshopping.


OOMatt - 2-9-2004 at 11:12 PM



I'm flattered. Really.

Tell me, what is your stance on operating systems?


Alana - 2-9-2004 at 11:14 PM

Linux sucks!


OOMatt - 2-9-2004 at 11:18 PM

Tssk. Tssk. That's no way to win the heart of a man.


OORick - 2-10-2004 at 05:21 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Alana
Not really. I'm more afraid of what will happen when the OO faithful start Photoshopping.


Good thinking... but you never said anything about the OO Faithful's jackass leader.

And I'm so far beyond fake slogans on t-shirts.

So, in honor of Erlana's Landmark Achievements (including, but not limited to, hitting 1000 posts, coming up one the Broad Perspective's One Year Anniversary, and already making a binding promise to do the No Way Out PPV Preview so I don't have to), it was My Honor to arrange for a very special awards presentation prior to tonight's RAW tapings.



Looks as though Jericho likes.... the shirt. No, really. The shirt.

Happy 1000, Happy Almost 1, and Happy Me Not Writing a Column on Friday, Erin.


Rick


Operation Retard - 2-10-2004 at 05:44 AM

wow. it looks like erin has an even bigger ego than jericho. she's totally ignoring him!


salmonjunkie - 2-10-2004 at 07:51 AM

and she has bigger hands then Jericho. Hmm....


Operation Retard - 2-10-2004 at 09:57 AM

oh and i forgot to mention. looking at the quality of the original picture, EXCELLENT retouching and color work, rick. you got the tones to match up with the jericho pic really well.

ya know, while you always say how much of a photoshop novice you are, you show time and again that you can do some pretty nice stuff with it.


Slade - 2-10-2004 at 02:34 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Bonestein
And Slade, I am planning a 2500 post spectacular. Thank you for the idea. I better get my hands on that bottle of Chivas you guys are talking about. Thank God for you guys that I got that digital camera at a Boxing Day sale... HERE COMES NUDE BONESTEIN!!!


You better not be all hype and no pay off.


OORick - 2-10-2004 at 10:35 PM

quote:
Originally posted by salmonjunkie
and she has bigger hands then Jericho. Hmm....


What are you implying? Because SURELY you're not questioning my photoshop skillz!

Actually...

Note to Erin: be glad I'm not very proficient with the photo fuckery... upon seeing your veiled challenge to the OO Faithful, my first thought was... well, let's just say that my vision involved last week's buzz phrase: Wardrobe Malfunction.

But I realized I could never have done it have make it look half-way decent, and wouldn't have enjoyed working with Timberlake's rat-face staring back at me the whole time, anyway. So lucky you. Oogled by Y2J it is!


Rick


Firebreaker Chip - 2-11-2004 at 11:57 PM

Erin I am only 14 years old I don't know if my virgin eyes can take this.

I know it's three days away, but Will you be my Valentine?

[Edited on 2-12-2004 by Firebreaker Chip]


Alana - 2-12-2004 at 03:58 PM

Will a restraining order be necessary?

[Edited on 2-12-2004 by Alana]


BoerboelLVR - 2-12-2004 at 07:48 PM

[teasing sing songy voice] Alana has a boooooyyyy-friennnnnd![/teasing sing songy voice]


AnglesGoldMedals - 2-12-2004 at 08:56 PM

...And all we needed to do was pretend to be 14 years old ?!?! Shessh....

That's it, I'm going to "come out" as a woman. And OOMatt, don't get any ideas...


whyme - 2-12-2004 at 09:37 PM

just look at it like this, you are helping him through puberty.


Firebreaker Chip - 2-12-2004 at 11:18 PM

I love to stir the pot however I really am 14 seriuously, I got to into wrestling in 1997, just look at my horrible writng skills.

[Edited on 2-12-2004 by Firebreaker Chip]


ModSquad - 2-12-2004 at 11:30 PM

Oh, GOD.

Please try to refrain from hitting on Erin. We already had one spell of that on the board, and we don't need another one.


Operation Retard - 2-13-2004 at 12:40 AM

aww, come on mod. there should be an exception for the 14 yr old. it's just so damn cute~!


salmonjunkie - 2-13-2004 at 12:47 AM

Isn't it cute though? It brings songs from The Monkees in my head.


"Oh she's so pretty I couldn't believe
She'd ever look my way
But the way I'm feeling
I'm gonna be stealing
That little girl's heart today."


Laner - 2-13-2004 at 03:20 AM

Hah- I love the look on Alana's face, like "I can't believe I'm doing this for those idiots at OO"