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Kane Hears Dead People
To hear Kane tell it, the vegetated corpse of his brother, The Undertaker, finally stirred this past week. And Kane was right there (presumably in the produce aisle of his local grocer, where all vegetables are stored) to hear Taker utter precisely two words before he returned to his dormant state. Those two words: "Rey Mysterio." If you believe Kane, that means Taker just named the man responsible for his vegetative state. And (for now, anyway) Kane believes Kane's story, so that spelled bad news for poor Rey Rey on this night. He tried to have a match against Jack Swagger, and instead, he ended up getting tossed into the Gulf of Mexico when Kane decided to attack when the brawl spilled outside the arena. Get the full report in PyroFalkon's SmackDown Recap.

 

   


As of MLB All Star Break 2010

BEST BRAND:
Cincinnati Reds
RAW: ???  -/- SD!: ???
ECW: ???  -/-  TNA: ???
Out of 5.0 possible points.

BEST PERFORMER(S):
Joey Votto

BEST MATCH:
Reds vs. St. Louis Cardinals
 (NL Central Grudge Match)

BEST INTERVIEW/ANGLE:
Rookie Phenom Mike Leake skips the minors entirely, dominates MLB, all while Media Darling Stephen Strasberg toils in Triple-A for the first 3 months; suck on that, Bonus Boy!
 
Want to help determine this week's winners? Effective this Summer, the Onslaught Honors are now dicussed and voted upon in the OO FORUMS. Join now and cast your weekly ballots in this battle of the brands!



2009 WWE PPV RECAP GUIDE 

Just in case the 2010 PPV Reference Guide available in the main middle column isn't comprehensive enough for you, here's a simple round-up of all of LAST year's PPV recaps for you edification:

PPV RECAP:
WWE Backlash 2009

PPV RECAP:
WWE WrestleMania 25

PPV RECAP:
WWE No Way Out 2009

PPV RECAP:
WWE Royal Rumble 2009


  

This site was originally designed on a PC using Microsoft products, but is now being updated using a Mac and strange new software. It should still look nice (so long as you have a relatively recent browser and a screen resultion of 800x600 or higher), but I know we're starting to run into strange anomolies with font size/attributes due to stupid MacWare. So if anything looks weird or you have any trouble browsing, please let me know!

RAW SATIRE: RAW is Wormholes
Time and space were once again warped over in our Alternate RAWniverse. For starters, Chris Jericho seemed to be under the impression that it was 2004 all over agayn and busted out some old school "Y2J" chops. But then again, maybe it wasn't the past on Monday; maybe it was THE FUTURE~! One week into the future, to be precise....
 
RAW RECAP: The Super Best Friends?
John Cena's assembled a team to face Nexus at SummerSlam, but before they can perform any heroics, they need to simply get along. Jericho wants to be Team Captain; Edge wants to kick Khali off the team; Truth and Morrison now randomly hate each other. Oh dear dear, what is AquaMan Cena to do? Check the recap to find out.

 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Kane Pleads Guilty...
No, not guilty to vegetating his own brother (at least, not yet)... but guilty to doing whatever it took to become a world champion. The fans were willing to cheer his actions (he took advantage of a beaten Rey Mysterio to win the title) at first, but became suspicious of Kane's real agenda and mental stability by night's end. Get the details.

 
RAW SATIRE: Fella-ship of the Ring?
Sheamus may be Our WWE Champion, but nobody takes him seriously, yet. So he's thinking of joining Nexus, just for the exposure/credibility. Problem is: Nexus isn't interested. Over in our Alternate RAWniverse, Sheamus must undertake a mythic quest to earn their respect. No, not to Mount Doom; but it will involve World of Warcraft.

 
RAW RECAP: Bret's Back... for Now...
The night started with a stellar 3-way #1 Contender Match featuring Edge and Jericho, and won by Orton... and then it ended with a bit of a surprise: John Cena assembled a 7 man team face Nexus at SummerSlam, and it included the returning Bret "the Hitman" Hart. Read up.
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2010
There's a new world champ, and it's not John Cena. Or even Jack Swagger. It's Kane, who won Money in the Bank and cashed it in a mere hour later against a victorious but already wounded Rey Mysterio. That was the night's biggest surprise, but two excellent ladder matches were the biggest reasons to get really excited on this night, as you'll see if you check out Rick Scaia's full report.

 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sacrificial Dad
Jack Swagger just wanted to prove he was innocent of vegetating the ProduceTaker... so he had his dad show up with a slide show of an alibi. Kane was having none of it, and tried to take out his frustrations on the Swaggers; Jack bailed, however, and left his dad to take the beating.

 
RAW SATIRE: Down Goes Cena~!
OMG, Cena got pinned, cleanly, to lose the main event on RAW! Crazy; it could only happen in our Alternate RAWniverse, right? Either way, don't despair, True Believers, for as soon as Cena got done losing, he just stood up and started fighting back as if nothing had happened. John Cena? SELL?!? Don't be crazy...

 
RAW RECAP: Bunches and Couples
"Mrs. Brady" Florence Henderson was the Guest Host of RAW this week, and oversaw a special "Santino Bunch" vs. "Regal Bunch" tag match... but the more notable sitcom homagery came when Sheamus decided to be pals with John Cena, afterall, and the two formed an Odd Couple to fend off The Nexus. Get the full report.
 
OOTRR: WWE Vengeance 2004 Re-Revued
Just as some fans are latching onto the idea that Eugene would be a fun choice as WWE's Anonymous GM, we take you back to 6 years ago, when wrestling's "Idiot Savant" stole the show on PPV, as part of a show-spanning storyline and then by getting involved in the HHH/Benoit main event. Adam Gutschmidt takes you back in time...

 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: It Ain't Easy Bein' Drew
Drew McIntyre is once again back in the good graces of US Immigration authorities, but NOT in the good graces of SD GM Teddy Long. It was a trying night on SD for Drew, but after initial humiliation, he redeemed himself with a big win over Kofi Kingston. Get the full report...
 
RAW SATIRE: Alien Visitations
Only in our Alternate RAWniverse could WWE's existing problems with regards to Wade Barrett's immigration status be compounded by EVEN MORE ALIENS. In this case, we're talking about Santino and Kozlov reviving the ALF sitcom (presumably with Khali as the cat-eating freak?). Matt Hocking will spin the yarn and make sense of it all.

 
RAW RECAP: Red Herrings Everywhere!
WAny idiot in WWE's current target demo of 11-year-olds could latch onto the significance of RAW's Anonymous GM using Steve Austin's catchphrases. But what about the not so subtle hints of The Rock? Just an accident on the part of the lazy Writer Monkeys? The People's Herring? Or something more? Read up, and you decide!
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Cody's Main Event Dash
With a dearth of warm bodies at WWE's disposal, Cody Rhodes has found himself wrestling at the main event level on SD... and it only took one week after a pretty floptastic "reinvention" as "Dashing" Cody Rhodes. Oy. Find out how Cody got fast-tracked (and get the info on some very interesting SES developments) in Pyro's latest recap.

   
 

 
2010 PPV REFERENCE GUIDE
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Fatal Fourway 2010
Oh sure, Sheamus beat John Cena (with help from NXT) and Rey pinned Swagger, and both are new champs. But let's not kid ourselves: on a fairly lackluster show, Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne were the two guys who really stole the show. Rick Scaia has full results/analysis for you.
 

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2010
Other than CM Punk getting shaved bald, this PPV didn't have a lot going for it, wrestling-wise. But schadenfreude- wise, it was a grand slam, as Randy Orton (our oft-beaten dead horse of a mantard) severely injured his OWN shoulder while POSING, necessitating an early end to his match. Get The Rick's full report.
 

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2010
It was a night of guys holding on to what they had. Some not so surprising (like CM Punk keeping his hair, and John Cena keeping his WWE Title), but at least one other that was kind of shocking: Jack Swagger cleanly pinned Randy Orton to retain the World Title. Rick Scaia has details.

 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 26

It's back. After over half-a-decade of feeling like any other PPV, WrestleMania was WRESTLEMANIA again this year. From very entertaining World/WWE title matches to very satisfying Bret/Vince closure to the show-closing very emotional Taker/HBK Match of the Year candidate, it was just one hell of a night. Let Rick Scaia fill you in.

PPV RECAP: WWE Elimination Chamber 2010
With two Chamber matches on the docket, WWE still gave us THREE title changes. John Cena won the RAW Chamber, but was then screwed out of his WWE Title when Vince ordered an impromptu match against Batista. And Chris Jericho took the World Title from Undertaker in the SD Chamber, but only with an assist from Shawn Michaels. Rick Scaia has all the details you need in his write-up.

 
PPV: WWE Royal Rumble PPV 2010
Edge didn't just make his surprise return in this year's Royal Rumble Match; he won it, and punched his ticket to the main event of WrestleMania 26. The Rumble was one of the most entertaining in recent memory, and capped off a mostly inoffensive undercard. Get the full report!

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RAW SATIRE: USA~! USA~! USA~!
 
RAW RECAP: The Invisi-Viper?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: I Cannot Tell a Lie...
 
RAW SATIRE: Vinnie's Angles
 
RAW RECAP: Artifical Intelligence
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Fatal Fourway 2010
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Kane Protesteth Too Much
 
RAW SATIRE: Conspicuous by Their Absences
 
RAW RECAP: Twisted Justice
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Angry Red Machine
 
RAW SATIRE: Needs More Beverly Brothers!
 
RAW RECAP: The nxtWo is Taking Over?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Mourning the VegeTaker
 
RAW SATIRE: Rumer Mongering
 
RAW RECAP: The Bourne Elevation
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: He's Baaaa-aaack
 
RAW SATIRE: It Stinks~!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2010
 
RAW RECAP: Bye Bye, Batista
 
RAW SATIRE: USA! USA! USA!
 
RAW RECAP: A Country for Old Men
 
RAW SATIRE: All Singing, All Dancing
 
IMPACT RECAP: WWE Castoffs = TNA Gold
 
NEWSFLASH: McIntyre "Fired," IC Title Vacant
 
RAW SATIRE: This is EXHAUSTING...
 
IMPACT RECAP: Who's the Good Guy, Again?
 
NEWSFLASH: TNA Blinks, The Monday War is Over
 
RAW RECAP: When Mute Meets Fast Forward
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: It's a Big Show
 
RAW SATIRE: The Virgil Search Begins
 
OO SPECIAL: 2010 WWE Draft Summary Chart
 
OO SPECIAL: Monday Coverage/7 WWE Firings
 
RAW RECAP: The Lop-Sided 2010 Draft
 
TNA RECAP: Naitch at it Again
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2010
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Losingest Champion
 
RAW SATIRE: Volcano Worship
 
TNA RECAP: Celebrating 4/19 with RVD
 
RAW RECAP: Monday Night SmackDown
 
WAR 2.0: Ratings Review, Monday Preview
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Free-Per-View, Baby!
 
NEWSFLASH: SmackDown Moves to SyFy
 
RAW SATIRE: A Plague of Daves
 
RAW RECAP: Irrelevance Rewards Mediocrity
 
IMPACT RECAP: Going Home in Style
 
WAR 2.0: Ratings Review, Monday Preview (4/12)
 
OOTRR: Great American Bash 2004 Re-Revued
 
OO RETRO: Behind the Bash
 
OO: What I'll Remember About Chris Benoit
 
NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy




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